THE END OF KATYTRIED??? (JUST IMAGINE)

Dear Mr Binx,
We have contact from our client and I
urgently must insist at once that you cease
and desease the harassment of our client.
It is because you do not have permission
to re-print his commenst. These commenst
belong exclusively and only to Niontron3
and you do not have his permission. They
are his comments. He made them up in his
own head.
Also we wonder why you call yourself
"KatyTried"? Are you a homosexual or
something? You belong in the zoo.
Further Mr Niontron3(Rono)is willing to
drop his suit and give permission to use
his comments for a small financial settlement.
Please finance for him and his Russian Lady
a small jungle farm next to a lake. Also
it will have horses in it.
I do not expect you to continue on the net.
Sincerely,

Alexander Bjoodrarileen
Vice President for High Standards and Obsessions
Americans On-Line


Warnings:

Niontron3: binx, you are obsessed with me
Niontron3: following my online posts
Niontron3: you are the male version of prospect
ManiacEyeball: yeah...anyone who actually reads what you
type must be obsessed
BinxB91: Rono is my best source of laughs
Niontron3: seriously binx
Niontron3: stop following my posts
Avaricearoni: pee on his posts, binx


You Changed Her Stuff/It Is Not Going to Be Nice:

Niontron3: that peson is here...
Niontron3: you don't need to call her...
Niontron3: the other day she complained you changed her stuff
BinxB91: CreepyLoner loves teasing you
Niontron3: binx, I am not talking about creepy
Niontron3: creepy is not here.
BinxB91: well, I didn't change anything [shrug]
Avaricearoni: you're here, nion, that's creepy enough
Jam7604801: is it horse rono
Niontron3: in any case,you posted my stuff without my permision
Niontron3: that is
Niontron3: all I need to know...
Niontron3: and you shall pay accordingly
EDruezillaB: if you already posted it here, it is public
BinxB91: Niontron, I have posting your stuff for several years now
EDruezillaB: you have no ownership over what you type in this
forum
EDruezillaB: surely you realize that
Niontron3: no it is meant to knows for people only here...
no one asked anyoen to make it public...
BinxB91: and as long as you continue to make such ridiculous
statements, I'll keep posting them
Niontron3: binx...you don't ahve my persmission...
EDruezillaB: i think someone did just that or it wouldn't be posted
Niontron3: binx you don't have my permission...and sooner
or later you will pay for this
Niontron3: it is not going to be nice..
Avaricearoni: Binx, ain't you askeered?


UNION!:

Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on bin'x blog?
Niontron3: anyboy
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on bin'x blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on bin'x blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on bin'x blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on bin'x blog?
Jam7604801: rono i don't care one way or the other about it
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on binx's blog?
Avaricearoni: Nion.... STFU
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on binx's blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on binx's blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on binx's blog?
Niontron3: do you people want your stuff on binx's blog?


Rono As Fixer:
Niontron3: if people don't want their stuff posted on
katytried...let me know...I will take care of it
Niontron3: if people don't want their stuff posted on
katytried...let me know...I will take care of it

Rono's Mission:
Niontron3: well, I am about to take it off the net


He Had Her Permission:

Niontron3: I hooked up with a russian ho today
Niontron3: russian girls are mad easy
Niontron3: whores good...you can do them and leave
Niontron3: emoitional ones are trouble
KatGraceandEm: not many emotional whores.
Niontron3: because they want only sex, no guilty feelings
after leaving them
KatGraceandEm: so much damage has been done emotionally
that most russian whores are numb, dissociated, without
emotion.
Niontron3: that is what they want


Which Brings On This Question:
Prospect26: I would still like to have a definitive
explanation of whore vs prostitute. I thought they
both got paid.


Tool:

Niontron3: i think government wants women to be whores
Niontron3: so that they can be used as business tools
CordialCactus: yes, ive seen the pamphlets


Are you? Are You?:

Prospect26: Vern...so you're doing some drinking?
Verneuker: Prospect after 56 days in the looney bin
and 30 in the homeless shelter...Im not inclined to do
any drinking
Prospect26: you're drinking?
Prospect26: Vern...are you drinking


The Cutest:

Niontron3: glow, that's where the multiverse theory
comes in...one person can be in this world and he can
be in another world at the same time..
Godwit935: Nothing can be in two places at one time,
of course.
WaldanPond: a vibration can. that is the current thinking
on electrons
Godwit935: Waldan, the thing vibrating is in one place.
WaldanPond: God, maybe it caqn sort of split
Godwit935: Waldan, you are a real physicist, eh
WaldanPond: noGod, but I have read a bit about that
Niontron3: at subatomic levels particles act bizarrely
ManiacEyeball: clueless people arguing over theoretical physics.
ManiacEyeball: it doesn't get much cuter than that.


Leslie Analysis:

ParaMyrrh: Bidet is a good person
ParaMyrrh: I don't know why some folks can't stand her
LeslieHapablap: bidet is a good person next to pol pot


Outta the Rain:

Tem o Bedlam: If this were a pub, i'd be drinking a pint,
smoking a Lucky, and doing the Guardian crossword.
All in, outta the rain.
CordialCactus: lol tem.. for a moment i thought
"guardian crossword" was an obscure dance...like the
cabbage patch



Waiting For the Next One:
LeslieHapablap: i laughed two weeks ago.


I Dare You:

ParaMyrrh: he goes to school and does well
ParaMyrrh: Bey,how would you know what kind of mother she is?
BinxB91: WHY are we talking about Bidet???
BinxB91: This is like an autopsy on a mummy
Beysshoes: put that in print in katytried please binx.
Beysshoes: i dare you.


BookSlut and Bart:

BooksIut: hey, you know how bart scribbles on that chalkboard?
BooksIut: you can create your own messages,
BooksIut: so, my bf sends one that says "i love you teaja."
BooksIut: so i tell him i love him and want to get married.
BooksIut: and he says,
BooksIut: "who knows. maybe i'll just disappear. like houdini."
BooksIut: ...


BLT Fantasy:
WarHorseThor: here is my fantasy situation, hillary as prez
with obama as vp, then they both die in a plane crash and
madeline albright becomes prez


We're All Dying:

WarHorseThor: or that ugly dude, janet reno
IaintRlGHT: she is dying reno is
IaintRlGHT: parkinsons
WarHorseThor: she is?
Boulshevit: We're all dying
IaintRlGHT: yes boul
WarHorseThor: we are born dying
IaintRlGHT: she lives in my state
Boulshevit: He not busy being born is busy dying- B. Dylan


Looking In All the Wrong Places:

Ein Sage: any laurell hamilton readers?
BinxB91: Sorry, I only know of her because i work in a book store
Ein Sage: then you can help, bin
Ein Sage: well, can any of you tell me the names of the books in
the anita blake series
Boulshevit: I can't
Ein Sage: not the individual books, but the ones put together
BinxB91: Ein, try Barnes&Noble.com
Ein Sage: I can search those, but I don't know how to look for
the others
Ein Sage: give me some credit, bin
BinxB91: Ein, visit a B&N then
Ein Sage: I did, but they just have titles
CordialCactus: ein... hold one minute, ok
CordialCactus: i have a friend online that would know
Ein Sage: I don't know if they are individual books, or
the four in one type
BinxB91: Ein, isn't there a Vampire chat room?
Ein Sage: you rule, cordial
Ein Sage: its possible...but I would rather be here
Ein Sage: I am hoping for a higher intellect


Curious George Does An Autopsy:
WarHorseThor: I write childrens murder mystery


He Still Wants to Be Noticed:
WarHorseThor: daisy, its me, blt
DAISYTRAIL: Ohhh, a new costume



My Brother's Wedding:

BinxB91: Name a song with "shut up" in the lyrics
WriterVamp7: Get over it by the Eagles
Boulshevit: Lol...Writer, when I was in charge of the music
for my brother's wedding ceremony... I accidentally played
"get over it"

["Your father's a nice guy," he told me. "You should hear
him talk about you."
"What do you mean?"
"He's just so unbelieveably proud of you. It's like no one
in the world ever went to Yale before."
"Your father must be proud of you too."
Matt shook his head. "He thinks I'm the world's biggest
fuck-up."
"You?" I smiled. "A fuck-up?"
"I know." Matt shook his head. Once these misconceptions get
started, they take a life of their own."
"Still," I said, "he's gotta be proud. How many other car
salesmen have kids that got into Yale?"
Matt looked puzzled for a second, then waved away the question
like it was smoke.
"Nah," he said. "Now he just thinks Bart Giammatti's a fuck-up
too."]
. an]


Unclear On the Concept:
WarHorseThor: bidet, dont you have a vagina to tuck back
in to your uterus?

Love Songs With Lots of Death:
Prospect26: Nom...the Edmund Fitzgerald is one of my top
five songs ever


Be Positive:

Tem o Bedlam: Complaining is cheap, and fun. Very few things
are both, anymore.
Is She Weird 55: complaaaaint lifestyle
Prospect26: complaining is a very negative thing
Tem o Bedlam: You say "negative" like it's a bad thing...
Is She Weird 55: I HATE COMPLAINING
Is She Weird 55: Let's complain about complaining!

MARCH MADNESS
(DirtyDogma = PatientOnion
Is She Weird 55 = Hillary
Hillary's Boy Friend = Tyler,the DrugMart Guy
IAintRight = Pale Rider )


First Madness:
Is She Weird 55: Hey, binx. i dont appreciate katytried.
"hillary's boyfriend gave her flowers blah blah i had
jokes haha"


Ya Can't Kill Em:
Lamumsie: students spent half the class doing a
writing sample
IaintRlGHT: a writing sample huh? like they didnt know
how to write............teachers, ya cant kill them!
Lamumsie: lol Rider...its an ESL class


Not Getting the Message:
Prospect26: Lady, I have been trying to have a
conversation with you for many years...but it's not
working


Out With the Boys While She's Reading:
BooksIut: my boyfriend is such a dork.
BooksIut: says he played a couple of drunk white boys
in chess.
BooksIut: won all six games.


Obscure Tripe:

BooksIut: piero heliczer.
BooksIut: "i am the sort of figure meant to be heretic the
stone age seduction girl taking her clothes off i seem
more of an ant than a cigale because i like to sing in
winter
BooksIut: joan of arc the woman astride a prick when i
smoke my shirt turns blue."
Godwit935: Bookslut, what kind of tripe is that.


Inanely Incompetent:

Godwit935: House of Sand and Fog was just an awful movie,
terrible. Mind-numbingly incompetent
BinxB91: Incompetent how?
Godwit935: Binx, it was utterly and completely inane.


Vocabulary Checker:

Godwit935: Bookslut, how much do you read, how much
time do you read per week, say, how many hours?
BooksIut: at least five hours a day.
BooksIut: avaricious reader, see.
Godwit935: You mean, voracious, Bookslut.



What a Weenie:

DAISYTRAIL: I still picture Godwit outside shooting
his cat. What a weenie.
Anais3233: he really really shot his cat?
Anais3233: that's got to be freudian
Anais3233: that's not right at all
Anais3233: did he find it watching something other
than charlie rose on tv?


Max Holding the Line:

DinosoreVagina: Max, did you know that Friday was Pi day.
Max 314159265358: Yes
Max 314159265358: and I gained no new digits


What Kool&the Gang Didn't Know:
CordialCactus: evie.. tonight is ladies night... the time
to commune in a silly manner without offering apologies



Random Scoldings/Warnings:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: heed my warning: stay out of the american idol room

Godwit935: Binx, you fail to see cultural degeneracy.

Niontron3: NONE OF YOU understand women
Niontron3: I love girls who own farms which have horses in them

Melodramamama22: once you puke 3 gallons of green beer,
the thrill goes off st patty's day

Knishofdeath: All sex is sick, if you do it right


Aces High:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: pale, how come you aren't Pale Rider anymore?
IaintRlGHT: that felt odd typing concidering how anais's name
sounds phonically, vagina and anus............oh my my my
CordialCactus: rider... i say it.. UH-nace
IaintRlGHT: evie, the pale rider needed rest
Sleepy Eyed Evie: anai why are you sighing and moaning?
Anais3233: uhnace, that'll work too
IaintRlGHT: anais..........I DO NOT SEE ann eye ease
Anais3233: spring is soo far away
DinosoreVagina: yeah, you really have to want to say anus
DinosoreVagina: I don't get that phoenetically
IaintRlGHT: and well uhnace just sounds like a deaf and dumb
guy sayin anus
Anais3233: annn eye ees
DinosoreVagina: ann ace
IaintRlGHT: yeah but whats with all the numbers/
DinosoreVagina: or uh nace
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i thot it was pronounced ann- uh - eece
Anais3233: vuh jine uh
IaintRlGHT: oh fer gods sake
CordialCactus: LOL
IaintRlGHT: ill just type anais
Anais3233: cor dull
Anais3233: corj ull
Anais3233: cor jull


What I like about you:
ParaMyrrh: I like when my girlfriend calls me
a cock-sucking faggot


"both of you are naked at any given time":

Niontron3: I only like jungle sex...
Niontron3: like primitive people
Nanofaydan: dream on kiddo
LoftOnFire: isnt jungle sex date rape?
Niontron3: sex is very good if you are in a jungle...the
air is cold
Nanofaydan: no..its sex with some who looks neanderthal
Niontron3: you are surrounded by trees
Niontron3: and there is a lake
LoftOnFire: is the foreplay exfoliation then?
Niontron3: then you and your lover swim in the
lake and come back
Niontron3: both of you are naked at any given time



A Woman With Big Hair Walks Into a Bar:

CordialCactus: ohgosh, i have a story... a true story..
i was a bartender working at a small pub and grub...
these two men watched a woman with big hair walk in..
CordialCactus: one said to the other... hair...
CordialCactus: be back later
CordialCactus: so....
CordialCactus: he walked to the woman and
CordialCactus: i have to run home to throw a log on the fire...
Nanofaydan: :-D..and?
CordialCactus: how about i "run one up in ya".......
and SHE LEFT WITH HIM
CordialCactus: romance is not dead



News From the Heartland:
CordialCactus: brb.. stirring hamburger helper dinner

Going Anais on you:
Lamumsie: and well all fly out together
Kamperkenii: but, 'mums, what if Dino, like, goes "Anais" on
us over the mid Atlantic??


KatyTried Hazards:
Catpower777: as my list of people on permanent "ignore" grows,
it makes it hazardous to read KatyTied


KatyTried Fans:

DAISYTRAIL: Binx, those passages of writing that appear
in Katy Tried ... do you write those?
Anais3233: there isn't so much godwit this time
Anais3233: this is funny
DAISYTRAIL: I loved the lima bean things.
Anais3233: HOLY SHIT SOME OF THIS STUFF IS FUNNY


Tell Me Your Name and I'll Tell You What You Are:
BIDET LIVES: well, max - i think you're probably a
pothead and a drunk


Beware of Humans:
Niontron3: if one human can make one mistake with you...
he can make many mistakes with you...you should avoid
those people for they are reprobates, for they would
harm you sooner or later



Thin Mints/Satire/CBC/Wowser:

Tem o Bedlam: I just sent a box of Thin Mints™ to Iraq...
As Russell Baker wrote, "life is hard for a political
satirist, when nothing you can make up is as funny as
what's actually going on."
Tem o Bedlam: When I was a mere wowser (never you mind
when) and the only TV station we could get was CBC in
French, and all they had on was hockey.
Londoj: Hockey night in Canada
Tem o Bedlam: Pretty much anything below waist height
and alive...
Tem o Bedlam: I knew enough French to play hockey when
I started school... You'd think this woulda got me
farther in life.
Ta21l: wowser?


Pudding Girls, OMG!:

BinxB91: The pudding girls have ended their run.
BinxB91: I would sell my mother to the Arabs for one
of those women
BinxB91: j/k
Ta21l: all those that believe he was kidding....
Ta21l: *crickets chirping*
TemporaryKind: sounded serious to me
BinxB91: With my next girl friend, I will make sure there
is never quite enough for dinner and then leave pudding
in the refrigerator
Ta21l: lmao
StarlightStorms: lol
Ta21l: why is it I can see you doing this so clearly in my head?
BinxB91: OMG, I just imagined sharing a refrigerator with a woman
Londoj: This is getting bad
Ta21l: as long as she wasn't living in it, it's still safe
BinxB91: Sharing a refrigerator is a much more solid commitment
than sharing a bed
BinxB91: OMG, TA
Tem o Bedlam: Or toothbrush...
Ta21l: no, sharing a dresser is more then a fridge
StarlightStorms: I served all the moldy old green food for
St. Paddy's Day
Ta21l: that means she's slowly moving in
BinxB91: You've shared a dresser?


Other Men's Daughters:

Tem o Bedlam: Men flip out at the idea their little
darlin's do what they spend their whole life trying
to get someone else's little darlin' to do.
Ta21l: nicely put Tem
Niontron3: tem, what to do when somoen elese's little
darlings wants it BAD


Hillary's Official:

Is She Weird 55: tyler is my official boyfriend starting today
BinxB91: An OFFICIAL boy friend??? That's great!
IaintRlGHT: good hillary
BinxB91: What made it official??
KammaToasted: he didn't chew his arm off


Hillary says "don't be silly":

Is She Weird 55: yeah he JUST started talking to me on friday
Is She Weird 55: i'm like "i'm dating someone" and he got jealous
Is She Weird 55: no i am not dating a black guy with an eight pack
IaintRlGHT: no no hillary you are not just dating
'you have a boy friend'
Is She Weird 55: no but that's before today, aint!
Is She Weird 55: my ex went on vaca
bphilebaum: sooooooooo you cheat
BinxB91: Hillary cheating?? LOL
Is She Weird 55: i'm not cheating!
Is She Weird 55: what the heck?
IaintRlGHT: hillary hasnt had it official long enough to cheat
IaintRlGHT: im not sure though the new bf would be impressed
knowing your talking with the old bf though
IaintRlGHT: thats like the plan b guy
IaintRlGHT: the old bf
DAISYTRAIL: Hillary does fast-track dating. She breaks up with
one, dates a new one, and cheats on him, all in 24 hrs.
Is She Weird 55: no daisy :) lol
IaintRlGHT: nothing wrong with a plan b though
Is She Weird 55: dont be silly

["That was very good," the swami says. "Now let's try a
the love cheer. Repeat Love a hundred times. You don't
really have to count. Just say Love, Love, Love until you
get tired of saying it. We'll do it together ..."
"Love, Love, Love, Love, Love ..."
"That was fine," the swami says. "That was very good.
I could tell you meant it. Let's see if you can sit up."
"It's crazy," Tony says, "I know it's crazy but I do feel
much better. I'd like to try another prayer."
When Nailles hears them chanting Hope,Hope Hope, Hope, he
has another whiskey. Was he a voodoo priest? Would he
put a spell over Tony? Since Nailles claimed not to
believe in magic why should magic have the power to
frighten him? Out of the window he can see his lawns in
the starlight. Hope, hope, hope, hope. Their voices
sound like drums. His lawns and the incantations came
from different kinddoms. Nothing made any sense.]


Please Come to Denver:

Prospect26: Lady...come to Maine.
LadyMtnMedic: why Pros?
Prospect26: Lady...we have been dancing around for years.
Let's meet.
LadyMtnMedic: Pros, what is it with you?
Prospect26: Lady...what?
LadyMtnMedic: why would I want to meet you?
LadyMtnMedic: you are turning into some weird stalker, and
I hate to tell you, I don't swing that way
CordialCactus: oh oh
Prospect26: Lady...why would we not want to meet after all
these years? And I am flying into CO?
LadyMtnMedic: if that is what you are driving at, please stop
LadyMtnMedic: we are not really friends Pros
IaintRlGHT: lady if i had a dime for every enemy i slept with
LadyMtnMedic: you sleep with Men Pale?
Kamperkenii: you'd have 5 cents, Iaint
Prospect26: Lady...yes, we are not really friends.
LadyMtnMedic: Prosp, why do you think you want to meet me?
LadyMtnMedic: Pale personally, my best friends are men, they
dont go thru all the drama and BS that women do
IaintRlGHT: well my best friends are women lady but it can be a
love hate thing
IaintRlGHT: keep your friends close your enemies closer;-)
LadyMtnMedic: pretty aware of that one Pale
LadyMtnMedic: have it down to a fine art
CordialCactus: is the lets meet conversation over?
CordialCactus: im being nosy


Lady Does Something Despicable:

LadyMtnMedic: guys, I did something despicable today
LadyMtnMedic: I bought some perfume.... sadly it is
StarlightStorms: Nice, Lady!
LadyMtnMedic: one of Britney Spears kinds
IaintRlGHT: what are you covering up?
LadyMtnMedic: the fact that I bought a perfume of hers
UntilYouCameBy: What was the perfume called :
Desirable On AOL
LadyMtnMedic: Midnight Pleasures or something like that
Bamagrl10291: lol yall i hate britney but her perfume
really does smell good


Prospect Paying Attention:

Prospect26: i very rarely do lunch outside of my office.
If my girlfriend calls and says "Let's have lunch."
I listen and pay attention.
Prospect26: I have a few good girlfriends...
Prospect26: and we read many different kinds of books...


Book Buyer in Need of Intervention:

Viscid mouth: just ordered two new books.
DirtyDogma: viscid you sexy beast you
DirtyDogma: viscid, did you order two bibles?
Viscid mouth: borges and the eternal orangutans by luis
fernando verissimo and cock-eyed comedy by juan goytisolo.
DinosoreVagina: book, is that you?


Godwit Uncovering Yet Another Fraud:

Godwit935: Lars, you spelled it Sacremento. Is that right?
JFWaterman: It should be Excremento-
LarsSfCalLarsSfCal: Sacramento? My typing skills aren't
the best !
Godwit935: Lars, you say you live there but are not sure
how to spell it?



In the Human Race:

Godwit935: Beys, I don't trust Obama.
Beysshoes: i know this godwit. its a hard time for racists,
i unnerstand
Godwit935: Beys, see that? There you have the problem. I oppose
Obama, I'm a Democrat, so I must be racist. This is the very
problem with Obama. He's all about race.
Beysshoes: no godwit, i've been in here with you lining in
racist stuff for over a year now you silly
Godwit935: Ferraro was right. If Obama were white, he'd not even
be in the ..... excuse me....race.


Pennsylvania Gets It:

Beysshoes: godwit, tell me what PA men are saying please
Godwit935: Obama's candidacy is based on race.
Godwit935: Obama is too damn entitled-seeming. People see it.
Godwit935: JFK had humility. Obama does not have humility


Touche:
JFWaterman: Obama and Clinton are both based on selling
us what we want today for us to pay for later.
DirtyDogma: you mean we are paying for the occupation of
iraq now and not later?


F*ck Puppy?:
Beysshoes: did binx get in here earlier?
DirtyDogma: binx gave up aol, he found a hot asian f*ck puppy
Beysshoes: hush les


We're Soaking In It:

CordialCactus: i was signing of to flirt with my husband
CordialCactus: it went well, he did some dishes
CordialCactus: score!
Nanofaydan: nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes
CordialCactus: nano... you know it
CordialCactus: dishes are great foreplay



What We Learn at the Dinner Table:
Godwit935: You vicious people who learned hatred at the
dinner table will have to learn what it means to be an
American.
DirtyDogma: godwit, shut up, america is tons of stuff:
racist, progressive, union-hating, union-loving, christian,
jew, buddhist, athiest, war-hating, war-loving
Godwit935: You will have to step up and get outside
yourselves, you people who think you have the inside track.
Godwit935: JF, you will have to decide whether you want to
be an American, or not.
Godwit935: You will have to learn how to sacrifice for others,
JF, as others have sacrificed for you.
Beysshoes: amen godwit
DirtyDogma: nobody has to sacrifice nothing, shut up and
enjoy the self-destruction
JFWaterman: You can't even imagine what it's like to sacrifice
for others, Godwit.
Godwit935: JF, I don't bitch about it. You do.
DirtyDogma: i think the floods are sexy, all those hillbillies
floating away
JFWaterman: You have sucked off of the Union tit of entitlement
for so long you have forgotten what it means to work for a
living, godwit, let alone sacrifice anything.



The Fun Couple:

DirtyDogma: more people are moving downward, that is what
jf is referring to about social class mobility, the
freedom to become poorer
DirtyDogma: and the rich more up even higher, while the
poor halfwit hillbillies do their occupation
Niontron3: so basically the people who have no money they
have to do the things that they don't want to do, for the
people who have more money
Niontron3: the poor barely speaks english
Niontron3: or spanish...


More Stuff Only Rono Knows:

Niontron3: did you know they are going to spray toxic
matters on CALIFORNIA
Niontron3: for six years!!!
DirtyDogma: they are gonna spray coca-cola on california?


Precise History:

Beysshoes: JF the roman empire collapsed precisely because
of what america is going through right now.
JFWaterman: I agree, Beysshoes- the middle class was the
only wealth-producers, so they got taxed into oblivion by
the powers that were.
JFWaterman: SO all who were left were peasants and rulers
- feudalism.


But It's His Only Language:

Beysshoes: onion i didn't understand why the katrina blacks
didn't vote. it hurt me.
DirtyDogma: bey, maybe cuz there is no difference between
uncle tom, bill's wife and the senile pow?
Beysshoes: onion stop talking yahoo



"I know what you don't":

JFWaterman: The poor are hardly ever humble, Godwit.
Godwit935: The poor are ever humble.
Beysshoes: when one is poor, all one has at times is
false pride godwit
JFWaterman: The poor are opinonated and nasty and vicious
and easy to take sides because that's all they have-
Godwit935: Beys, you are only off by a word or two.
Godwit935: How wrong you are, JF.
Beysshoes: godwit you're too insular. you see only your
own reality.
Godwit935: Beys, the reason I know you are off by a word
or two, and the reason I know which words, is because I
know what you don't.



Calcutta Power Ball?:
Niontron3: somehow two indians became 2 of the top ten
richest people on earth...


Metaphor Madness:
Beysshoes: godwit, i wish you'd have a better pulse on
PA politics to share !!!
Godwit935: Beys, I did share it with you. Pennsylvanians
don't buy a pig in a poke. We're for Hillary, hard.


Niontron Yells Whacko:

Anais3233: we used to have a really big front yard and the
bunnies would make little hutches in the indentations in
the yard, and then when we went to mow, we'd run over the
baby bunnies
Anais3233: and the ones that weren't too bloody, i'd dress
up in little clothes, so there would be dead baby bunnies
dressed up laying in the yard
Niontron3: anais is a wacko


There will always be Godwit:

Godwit935: Anybody watch that college basketball today?
CordialCactus: isnt that over yet? oh.. wait.. march madness
Godwit935: Is that Dick Enberg Jewish, does anyone know?
Godwit935: He doesn't sound Jewish to me, that Dick Enberg.
My guess is that he's, what do you call those....Nordic,
that's it. I bet Dick Enberg is Nordic.


Onion's Easter Rant:

Yossarian4now: i dont think you are really the guide on
what not to dsay to people, onion
Catpower777: ya think, Yoss? lol
DirtyDogma: actually Yossy I am the OFFICAL AUTHORIZED
AND HIGHLY TRAINED guide on what to say to people you
walmart truck driver
Beysshoes: ha!
Yossarian4now: sure you are onion
DirtyDogma: i have a diploma in what to say to people
DirtyDogma: an advanced degree in fact
Yossarian4now: onion, im tired, and i hurt .. give it a rest
DirtyDogma: I told bush everything he knows about public
speaking, why do you think he got elected TWO TIMES
DirtyDogma: if you are tired and hurt you don't come visit
a vile chatroom your dumb bunny
Beysshoes: DD is our chat guru yossy ... but i'm sorry
he hurt you. oof
Beysshoes: STFU onion
DirtyDogma: go hump a bible or drink a beer
Yossarian4now: i cant walk very well onion .. im sitting
here, while they set up shit
Beysshoes: you had surgeries yoss?
Yossarian4now: yeah, Tuesday
Beysshoes: for what please?
Yossarian4now: my knee
DirtyDogma: he been on his knees in those gay truck stops
DirtyDogma: jesus, zombie son of good, blessor of the
911 terrorists, will heal your knees, JESUS, HEAL
YOSSY'S BUM KNEE!
DirtyDogma: remember the cracker preacher oral sex roberts,
some cripple would wiggle up on the stage, oral would grab
him somewhere and he would dance out of his wheelchair
DirtyDogma: what a fairy tale wack job scam religion is
DirtyDogma: from 911 to billy graham, a bunch of wacked
out bingo heads
DirtyDogma: people in the phillipines nailing themselves
to a cross
DirtyDogma: gypsy knows how to celebrate easter, he drinks
a six pack and beats his wife
Yossarian4now: onion...
DirtyDogma: he's on his third one now
DirtyDogma: they ain't found the other two yet, haven't
looked in the garden though
Yossarian4now: dude are you really this bored? have
absolutely nothing else to do?
DirtyDogma: you should talk
Beysshoes: onion is giving his easter sermon yoss
DirtyDogma: i'm a preaching
DirtyDogma: bey knows
Beysshoes: tell us more reverand radish head.
pulease save us from our sins


The Human Race IS Defective. After All, Look at Me:

DirtyDogma: unfortunately jam can't see past the white
trash racism of his pig farm nascar fume toking
flooded swamp
DirtyDogma: heck, it's not jam's fault, the human race
is defective



She Is Tired:

DirtyDogma: McCain, Bush, Cheney, Rumsburger and aunt
jemima condi rice predicted a quick clean victory
Beysshoes: alright. dats enough. imma go searching foh
a better easter sermon you jingo punk.


Thanks for the Memories/Except For the Felonies:

Glomawr: there are outstanding warrants for me in
Charlottsville
Phronsie: not a good thing, Glo
Phronsie: or so I would think
Glomawr: no fonz
Glomawr: but statute of limitations runs next year
Glomawr: except for the felonies


What Makes a Good American:

Godwit935: I work with a lot of urban Asians these days.
I like them, they're good Americans.
Glomawr: hard workers wit
Godwit935: Glo, no more hard-working than any others,
but they cut up very well. Thety are merciless to each other.
Glomawr: that makes them good americans?



A Sweet Addiction:
JadedDremer: Binx, lately, i've been hooked on Tegan and Sara

BOOKSHELF IS DECADENT AND DEPRAVED
(apologies to Hunter Thompson).
The BookSlut Monologues Go On.
Maybe she should be paired up with
The Hillary Monologues and see if
they make some kind of weird sense.
If "weird sense" is your thing, check out
the extended discussions on Lima Beans below
... or don't.
BidetKitty is back of late. She hasn't
changed. She tried to assign everyone
roles ... "you're the new TooHotDVM",
"you're the new JadedDrmr" ... but no
one knew what she meant. CreepyLoner
was roused long enough to kick her
butt. But it was an empty victory ---
like knocking out Muhammed Ali coming
out of retirement for yet another shot at
the title.
While it's not really depraved, it's a bit bleak.
There was one pleasant moment that isn't included.
Hillary's boy friend drove through a snow storm to
bring her flowers after his shift at DrugMart.
I had about six jokes for that. But I had held
back.
May we all drive through a snow storm to give
flowers to someone dear to us.



Hard Choices:
BooksIut: i'd rather read about the tragedies of slavs
than the death of a talking dog.


British Chat:
Rhectorix: <<
Terms of Endearment:
Beysshoes: mistah shaw shank
Harryshaw3178: ah tis beys at the moon.


You Oughtta Know:
Harryshaw3178: you can avoid Chinese made eyewear and
still buy at a reasonable price.


Does She Owe Them Money?:

Catpower777: hey, Phrons
Various704: hey phronsie
Beysshoes: hola phrons
Sleepy Eyed Evie: hey phronse
Lydiaparn8: Hi, Phronsie
Phronsie: Hi Various
Summers Eve L: wb Phrons
Lydiaparn8: what is that?
EmpressZ21: looks like yo peeps


Chat Room Relapse:

EmpressZ21: Yoss had left?
Lamumsie: Yoss left?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: he was here this morning
Lydiaparn8: he took a vacation, Emp.
Lamumsie: I saw him last night
EmpressZ21: he did? when
DinosoreVagina: briefly he came to his senses
DinosoreVagina: but he's back
EmpressZ21: like what a 6 hour vacation?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: said something to me that i didnt understand
Sleepy Eyed Evie: but i dont remember what it was now
Various704: poor guy. he almost escaped too
Harryshaw3178: he's in chat room rehab. forced to listen to
the lounge for an hour daily.
DinosoreVagina: yeah, he tried Various



Showing the Proper Enthusiasm:
Beysshoes: omgomg sonya!!!!! !!!!!
Beysshoes: !


Sos I Can Make Intelligent Convo:

Beysshoes: tree please throw out a couple 'sleeper'
titles ... books wise, yes?
TreeSquish: what kind, beys? did you read "then we came to
the end" ?
Beysshoes: who's the author pls
TreeSquish: joshua ferris
TreeSquish: and i just finished "the echo maker"
Beysshoes: you know i'm just using you sos i can make
intelligent convo with binx yes sonya?
Phronsie: Shoes, why on earth would you care whether you
made intelligent convo with bionx?
TreeSquish: i love binx even though he gets snippy
sometimes


Gatsby:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: everyone in here is always talking about
this binx person but i've never met him/ her
Catpower777: Evie he does quick visits at night
Lydiaparn8: Well, not your nights, Evie.
Beysshoes: cat he does those quick visits with you too chica?
Beysshoes: we need to talk girl.



I Thought One of Them Would be Talking:

Hickory49: "vagina monologues" ... went to it ... wasn't much
Anais3233: even after being read a couple times
Yossarian4now: wow, sounds like an old gf
ParaMyrrh: please the last thing we want is talking cunts

The Master Baiter:
ParaMyrrh: All women are whores

[Bing had not offered him a job, that was for sure.
He hadn't provided him a name to contact, a number
to call, or an address to e-mail. In no way, shape,
or form had the guy bestowed entry into any kind of
future or profession. The facts were plain: he was
right where he always was. Outside, alone, lost
again, looking for his Plymouth.]

Who Thinks He's Good:

Dwgardner2021: Could I ask all of you a question?
BinxB91: Fire away, gardner
Dwgardner2021: Do you consider yourself to be a good person?
ParaMyrrh: I do
BinxB91: Gardner, I'm undecided
Likesgarters1: not exactly
BIDET LIVES: i am a good person
Is She Weird 55: I FREAKING LOVE JACK JOHNSON
Ta21l: is she scaring people out of here or what?


He Sounds Like Don Ho?:
Is She Weird 55: JACK JOHNSON IS THE MOST AMAZING SINGER EVER
Is She Weird 55: WHEN YOU HEAR HIM, ALL YOUR WORRIES GO AWAY
Is She Weird 55: YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN HAWAII

[During the party some people were out on the sun deck
talking. It was cold that night so I closed the glass
sliding door. Lou Anne, somewhat inebrietaed, decided
to join the party inside, walked splat into the door
and bounced off. Rachel looked over me and said quite
seriously, "I thought only birds did that."]


BIDETLives ... if you call that living:

BIDET LIVES: and cries for attention beyond that
acceptance of nerds in a chatroom
BIDET LIVES: is that why no one will become your real
friend, creep? because they know you will ultimately blame
them for the drinking?
Creepy Loner: I'm not sure...I haven't asked my non-friends
why they aren't my friends.


Haley's Comet's Next:
LeslieHapablap: the other day i laughed in the chat.


And It's Too Messy:

BinxB91: Leslie, do you ever want to become a mother?
LeslieHapablap: binbx91, no, that would be like getting a
tattoo on my forehead. just plain silly.
CordialCactus: "i make bad decisions"
BinxB91: a tattoo and becoming a parent are not at all similar
Ta21l: not true Binx...they both hurt and you can't be drunk
during either

Proving Ta Wrong:
CordialCactus: ta.. i bartended at a bar that was 3 doors
down from a tattoo parlor
CordialCactus: we would deliverdrinks


Enjoying Kids Under 5:

CordialCactus: i used to go to st. george island florida...
but traveling with 2 kids under 5 makes that less fun
LeslieHapablap: what is fun with 2 kids under 5?
Ta21l: hide and seek
BinxB91: nap time
CordialCactus: lol leslie.. fingerpainting...
squirtgun fights, making homemade pizza
CordialCactus: and.. um...
CordialCactus: there is one other thing



BidetKitty Grasping at Straws:

BIDET LIVES: anais - do you see creep talking about all
the beer she drinks night after night?
BIDET LIVES: boasting about it, publishing it as if
she has nothign better to say
BIDET LIVES: what do you think about this, anais?
Creepy Loner: Yeah...I'm f**king wild. I sometimes have
two whole bottles inside of as many hours.
Creepy Loner: [gasp]
Creepy Loner: I'm a real lush.
BIDET LIVES: then why don't you talk about something else, creep
BIDET LIVES: so you don't seem like a desperate lush
Anais3233: oh. i don't really hear that much beer talk, maybe
i just don't pay that close of attention
Creepy Loner: I like to stay on topic, Bidet, and since you
keep talking about my beer, well, I'm talking about my beer
with you.

Who Do You Love?:
Is She Weird 55: maybe jack johnson will propose to me at
the concert
Is She Weird 55: Just kidding.
Is She Weird 55: he'll sing a song to me
Is She Weird 55: he made a song called Taylor.
He can make one called Hillary.


BidetKitty Leaves:

CordialCactus: phew
CordialCactus: wb creeps
Creepy Loner: [tips hat]
BinxB91: Bidet left ...?
StarlightStorms: broomstick must have caught fire......
CordialCactus: i felt bad breaking out my inner almost bitch
CordialCactus: but.. i had to do what i had to do
Ta21l: you just have to learn to tune her out
LeslieHapablap: the ignore feature works.
BinxB91: YAY CREEPYLONER You were great!!!!
StarlightStorms: exactly, CC lol
Creepy Loner: She's really quite boring.
Lamumsie: CC...I was slightly out of character myself
CordialCactus: needs new material
CordialCactus: lol lams... high five sistah
Ta21l: think of her as static on the radio during your
favorite song...you don't stop singing, you just sing
over it as you go through the tunnel
BinxB91: Her act hasn't changed in years
Creepy Loner: 1. Pick out [what may be] a problem.
2. Hump it to death.
Creepy Loner: [snore, snore, snore]


Oh Yes!! Please Read To Us:
BooksIut: Want to read something I wrote this afternoon?
BooksIut: It is "noir gone berserk." Meaning, crap. But
existentialist crap that can be covered up as modernist.


Lesson Learned:
CordialCactus: we christened the grill today
CordialCactus: btw, charcoal does not start with whiskey


A Muppet Walks Into a Bar:

Anais3233: my husband is very matter of fact
Anais3233: like the eagle from the muppet show
CordialCactus: i would like to meet someone who could
be described as being like Beaker of the Muppet Show
Anais3233: i think you'd have to go to a psyche ward or
some inpatient facility
CordialCactus: or go back to work bartending, anais
Anais3233: you know, it can kind of work to assign muppet
characters to everyone you meet
CordialCactus: i think you're right... like the jack and coke
go to animal in the corner, the fuzzy navel to miss piggy,
the manhattan to kermit, and the sake to big bird, but
be sure to card him first


Heart-Breaker:

Creepy Loner: I claimed to be masturbating in an IM with
a 50 year old man once.
Creepy Loner: Pretty funny...he went wild.
Hadachoke: was it good for you?
Creepy Loner: [frown]
Creepy Loner: Yeah, Hada; I thought it was a lot of fun...
Hadachoke: good choice then
Creepy Loner: But he took me way too seriously and became
a bit annoying.


Down Boy:

Fraleyjackson: HOW OLD AER WHAT UP YA
Fraleyjackson: SOMKE WEED
LadyMtnMedic: Fraley looks to have taken one to many bumps
on the noggin
Fraleyjackson: YA
Fraleyjackson: YA
CordialCactus: i scared my 6'3" brother in law once
Fraleyjackson: OVER TIME
Fraleyjackson: I DRIK
Fraleyjackson: LOT
CordialCactus: oh.. and a professional wrestler another time
.. there is a story for you fraley
Fraleyjackson: WHAT
CordialCactus: i tossed a drink in this wrestlers face....
i was about 17 and he was inappropriately leering at me...
CordialCactus: he turned around and said, im ready to go home now
CordialCactus: heh
Fraleyjackson: MY NAME HA HA HA
CordialCactus: fraley, im not much of an i.m. kind of girl
...well, i used to be a man... but i do have me 6 stepkids
CordialCactus: sh
Fraleyjackson: YOU ARE MIRRED CAKTUS
Catpower777: Cactus, you're a tranny?
CordialCactus: sorta, but the state wont recognize it on account
of me being a man
CordialCactus: no.. im kidding
Fraleyjackson: OK
CordialCactus: im trying to be unattractive and stuff
Fraleyjackson: ME TO
CordialCactus: coughtodiscouragei.m.erscough
Fraleyjackson: DO YOU NO ALL THE JUSTICE LEAGUE HEROES


Therapy For Hillary:

Is She Weird 55: i dont TRY to be unattractive. i just am
Is She Weird 55: it's natural
BinxB91: Hillary, I've seen your pics. You're pretty.
Now shut up
CordialCactus: ditto what binx said
Creepy Loner: Waiting for Hillary to 1. Blame genetics
2. Give me a nasty stare.


Really?:
Is She Weird 55: LOL!!! i ws just reading katy tried and
i totally didnt mean to say 'like like a bandage' after
the condom refrence


Super Powers:

Creepy Loner: After using "Lee's Useless Super-Hero Generator"
I've been blessed with a super-villain identity...
Creepy Loner: I'm "The Wretched Cyberstroke"
Is She Weird 55: i'm just Awesome
CordialCactus: it was just a coincidence mostly.. i had lentil
soup for lunch and vegetarian sushi rolls for dinner
Creepy Loner: My powers include: Matter consumption,
Force blasts [both true].
CordialCactus: lol hillary
Is She Weird 55: i LOVEE sushi but only when other people buy
it and give me some when i'm hungry.
KammaToasted: a vegetarian cactus....
Is She Weird 55: mmmmmmmmmm :)
Is She Weird 55: veggie cacti
DinosoreVagina: Cat, I just stopped by to tell you that you
are going to LOVE this book.
Creepy Loner: Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial electrocution.
BooksIut: Do me, do me.
Creepy Loner: Weapon: Unholy hubcap.
Catpower777: Dino, are you trying to give me pain?
KammaToasted: hahahaha
Catpower777: lol
DinosoreVagina: I just think it's your kinda book
DinosoreVagina: lol
BooksIut: S.
Is She Weird 55: source of power: genetics and creation
Creepy Loner: Transportation: Greencopter.
KammaToasted: that's why i come here
Creepy Loner: All right, Slut...
Catpower777: oh, you can already tell it's pornographic?
Is She Weird 55: transportation: 87 lincoln towncar
DinosoreVagina: no, seriously... I read the first two pages
... and I would have said it was your kind of book -
just from those two pages.
Creepy Loner: Do you want to be a HERO or a VILLAIN?
Is She Weird 55: i'm all of the above creepy
BooksIut: I'm no f*ing Beatrice, wench.
Catpower777: oh, now I really am angry with amazon
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: no, it's not pornographic...
BooksIut: Villain.
Is She Weird 55: i am your spawn
KammaToasted: "i don't care if i'm good or bad,
as long as i'm the star!"
Catpower777: ah well, can't have it all
DinosoreVagina: but there is some creative use of metaphor


Tea-Ja and Hillary:

BinxB91: BookSlut, tell us your real name ...
and I promise to never use it
BooksIut: Tea-ja.
BooksIut: Or, as my boyfriend calls me, Too-ja.
BooksIut: Which means rabbit.
BooksIut: In Mandarin.
BinxB91: Tea-ja?? Did your parents have a fight?
BinxB91: WHY is your name in Mandarin?
BinxB91: Wait. Your boy friend speaks Chinese?
BooksIut: With a name like Tea-ja, you strangely discover
most men are Little Alberts.
BooksIut: You all know the story of Little Albert, right?
Is She Weird 55: fat albert
Is She Weird 55: i know that story
Is She Weird 55: that movie made me cry
Is She Weird 55: HEY HEY HEY
BinxB91: no, I don't
BooksIut: He was conditioned to be fearful of rabbits,
which he loved.
BooksIut: Then, in a sick twist of modern psychology,
BinxB91: Does Hillary do this only when I show up so she
can be on KatyTried?
Is She Weird 55: no
BinxB91: BookSlut, why would a man be afraid of you?
BooksIut: he was counterconditioned
BooksIut: to love them.
BooksIut: So many horrible things have been done in the
name of psychology.


Hillary Therapy II:
Is She Weird 55: i am freaking hungry
Is She Weird 55: all the time
BinxB91: freaking hungry all the time???
Hmm, what can be done for that
Kamperkenii: Binx, I've tried eating in the past.
that works for a few hours
Kamperkenii: but, alas, the hunger returns


Not a Member of the Wedding:

Is She Weird 55: i just found out my parents were married
when i was 5 a month ago!
Is She Weird 55: five years after i was born they got married!
Kamperkenii: yes, we remember when you told us that, 'weird
Is She Weird 55: and i just found that out in january
Is She Weird 55: i was so upset
Catpower777: were you really, Hillary?
Catpower777: upset, I mean?
Is She Weird 55: i started crying. no joke
Is She Weird 55: you shouldnt wait til someone is 18 to tell
them you got married five years after you were born
Creepy Loner: Perhaps your parents made the mistake of
assuming you have a long-term memory, Hillary.
Creepy Loner: Or were you not invited to the wedding?


Not Even Lisa?:

Phronsie: The simpsons are the kind of people I try to
avoid in real life, so I figure it doesnt' make much
sense to seek them out as entertainment


Speaking Cling-on:

ParaMyrrh: I like Baudelaire but that's not one of my
fave's of his I like his Invitation and Cheveux also
the Dedication to Les Fleurs du Mal
BooksIut: Why have your insults ascended higher echelons
of asininity, then, Para?
ParaMyrrh: Book higher entechies I prefer Aristotelian
pedicates for my insults


Preparing the Conversation:

Niontron3: phronsie on ignore
Niontron3: binx on ignore
Phronsie: in pursuit of Rono
Phronsie: gonna Im him to death
Phronsie: He's so handsome and desirable
BinxB91: With the exception of Phronsie and myself,
the rest of you will now be treated to an engaging
round of Rono chat


Bookslut Draws the Line:
BooksIut: Don't. Send those sorts of emails.
BooksIut: Ever. Again.
BooksIut: Understood, snookums?


What BookSlut Finds Funny:

BooksIut: Hahaha.
BinxB91: Bookslut laughs??? what could it be?
BooksIut: Patrick Gass's Journal of the Voyages and
Travels of a Corps of Discovery, under the Command of
Capt. Lewis and Capt. Clarke . . . through the Interior
Parts of North America to the Pacific Ocean, during the
Years 1804 - 1806.
BooksIut: Hahaha.
BooksIut: "An American having struck a Bear but not
kill'd him escaped into a Tree."
BooksIut: This phenomenon was verbicized, as it happened
so frequently.
BooksIut: "Treed by a bear."
BooksIut: Hahaha.


Spring Break Plans:
Is She Weird 55: next week's spring break so you'll
be seein more of me!



In Section 41, Rooting for Iowa:

Anais3233: i saw the dali llama
DinosoreVagina: when Anais?
Anais3233: back in 1990
Anais3233: at badger stadium, it was a packed house


You Remind Me:

Is She Weird 55: my feet hurt from ballet :(
IaintRlGHT: hot tub hillary will cure that
Is She Weird 55: I DONT HAVE A FREAKING HOT TUB
Your Ex: Hillary, today, I was at a store and saw a copy
of 10 Things I Hate About You on sale for about $5 and
bought it; I just finished watching it and thought of
you the whole time...
Your Ex: And farted.
Your Ex: Often.


Even if the Car Has a Driver?:
CordialCactus: i have a fear of riding in a car that i am
not driving in chicago rush hour traffic


With a Webcam?:

BooksIut: OMFG.
BooksIut: That reminds me.
BooksIut: The nastiest thing happened to me, today.
Your Ex: Oh no, the gross spider story...
IaintRlGHT: herpes outbreak book?
Your Ex: Off of my jokes, Right.
BooksIut: Right. I handled that well enough.
BooksIut: But, this.
BooksIut: Worse.
BooksIut: I was crapping, with my laptop on my lap
(I do this often, FYI) and next thing I knew
Your Ex: [laughing]
BooksIut: a bug fell from the ceiling
BooksIut: on top of my laptop
Anais3233: lol
Your Ex: Spiders LOVE computers.
BooksIut: dangerously close to my pubic hair.
BooksIut: And I freaked out,
IaintRlGHT: bottom of yer laptop get some back splash?
Niontron3: book, you do this with your webcam on?

Science Project:
Anais3233: the kids are putting that big bubblewrap
underneath people's welcome mat

With a Wide Stance?:
Zoshka5: speaking of r. kelly, I stood next to Bill Gates
at a movie theatre urinal


And She's Stuck in 1964:

BooksIut: I have a hunch I'll age as well as me mum.
BooksIut: She looks young for her age.
Zoshka5: is she single?
BooksIut: No.
BooksIut: She's dating a Negro.


Clash of the Titans:

JFWaterman: Someone pooped in your head, because they
were dumb enough to beleive it.
Niontron3: JFWater, nobody fed me this...I thought it up..
JFWaterman: Look, Niontron, I don't have anything against
you as a person-
JFWaterman: -you seem fairly bright if misguided and confused-
Niontron3: JFWater, I never said you did...
JFWaterman: -but if you want to live three feet up your own
ass, I can't do anything to help you. It's your choice.
Niontron3: you live in a make believe world...
Zoshka5: live 3 feet up your own ass...be careful of
foreclosure, in case you took out a subcolonic loan


No Secrets:
Is She Weird 55: i'm actually gonna take my contacts out

OK, But Would You Let Her Have the Remote?:
Godwit935: Binx, I love women, I endorse them, embrace them,
empower them.

Terms of Endearment:
Creepy Loner: [blank stare]
Creepy Loner: What?




Meet VV/Lima Bean OverDoses:

VintagedVisions: you can call me "W" for short
VintagedVisions: i dont mind.
CordialCactus: lol, i will
CordialCactus: thankyou
Kamperkenii: VV, could you suggest something more terse?
Iuokhon: all those v's reminds of me of when I use to
use multiple ones to depict fangs
Kamperkenii: let's condense that down to 'half V"
VintagedVisions: what Kamp said
VintagedVisions: v <-- terse
Kamperkenii: 1/2v, I'm truly curious on the etymology
of your SN
VintagedVisions: welll ....
VintagedVisions: it's a very long story you see
Kamperkenii: <----looking
CordialCactus: he likes old pinup girls
CordialCactus: wait
VintagedVisions: o
VintagedVisions: ic
CordialCactus: or...
CordialCactus: you collect, antique spectacles
CordialCactus: or... you see things from the past
CordialCactus: or...
VintagedVisions: i came back to find out about the lima beans
CordialCactus: oh
CordialCactus: creepy... your area!
Kamperkenii: everyone got the munchies and ate all the lima beans
Iuokhon: The lima beans are going to be worked into the story
as bar snacks
VintagedVisions: - waiting for story -
Kamperkenii: .5v, prepare for a long wait
CordialCactus: im not the story teller.. im just a catalyst
VintagedVisions: sigh
Kamperkenii: 50/100*v, if you like, I'll make up a story
Iuokhon: Maybe the story could be called "Pot Smoke and
Lima Beans."
VintagedVisions: yes, please.
Kamperkenii: ok, here goes....
Kamperkenii: hmmmm
Kamperkenii: uh, could we change the lima beans to rutabagas?
Kamperkenii: those are more inspiring
VintagedVisions: : shaking head :
CordialCactus: kamp.... lol
Kamperkenii: ok, ok
Kamperkenii: I'll stick with lima beans
VintagedVisions: : laying on tummy :
OnlineHost: Pony crap has entered the room.
Kamperkenii: This story is about Creepy Loner, and how
in her previous career, which shall remain unmentioned,
but hinted at...
CordialCactus: on tummy? feet in the air, kindergarten style?
CordialCactus: cool
VintagedVisions: shhhhh
Kamperkenii: ...would cater to a clientele with the most
esoteric of tastes
CordialCactus: no you shh
Kamperkenii: and when i say 'esoteric', I mean esoteric,
if'n ya get my drift...
CordialCactus: snicker
VintagedVisions: : nodding head :
Kamperkenii: 50% of v, you get my drift
VintagedVisions: yes yes
Kamperkenii: well.......
OnlineHost: Pony crap has left the room.
Kamperkenii: one such 'client' of Creepy's derived a little
more pleasure than is healthy by having his naked buttocks
pelted by lima beans why Creeyp would sing Oh, Canada
VintagedVisions: that has to be the lamest magic lima bean
story i ever heard in my cuber life
DinosoreVagina: how many have you heard?
VintagedVisions: a lot
CordialCactus: lol
DinosoreVagina: ok
Kamperkenii: lol
Iuokhon: it's supposed to be, vintage. That's what makes it amusing
DinosoreVagina: what's the best?
VintagedVisions: i collect them
DinosoreVagina: so, prove it
Kamperkenii: well, v/2 never let me finish the story
DinosoreVagina: lets hear one
VintagedVisions: it is past my bed time
Iuokhon: I want to hear the rest, kamp
Kamperkenii: that was just the warm up to the good parts
CordialCactus: creepy..... you do it.. give V a heartfelt
lima bean story...
Teressahay: how old ru
CordialCactus: the epitome of all lima bean stories!
Kamperkenii: me? 55. you, Teressa?
CordialCactus: i have one...
CordialCactus: wait.. dont go
CordialCactus: ready
VintagedVisions: o
Teressahay: 33
VintagedVisions: mhm
Kamperkenii: you're a young woman, Teressa
CordialCactus: Waiting and watching for awhile.. i seek....
Teressahay: thank u
Kamperkenii: you're the kind of young woman that I approach
in bars and tell lima bean stories to
DinosoreVagina: kenii, was that you?
DinosoreVagina: when did you get out?
Kamperkenii: what, what, Dino?
Creepy Loner: No one approaches me with lima bean stories...
Teressahay: really would u
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
CordialCactus: pondering the unponderable....
when were... who will love lima beans... the way i love lima beans
CordialCactus: where*
Kamperkenii: no, Teressa, I would not. I'm just teasing.
and do NOT believe what Dino says
Iuokhon: That's a good follow up title for the second book
Teressahay: ok
Iuokhon: Love and Lima Beans
Kamperkenii: Creepy, I shall confedt a lima bean story JUST for you
Kamperkenii: I like that, luok
CordialCactus: who will play board games with the same passion...
WHO WILL EAT A CHEESE WHEEL WITH ME!
CordialCactus: the end
Teressahay: u do
CordialCactus: snap snap
Kamperkenii: LOL
VintagedVisions: :::: wild applause :::::
VintagedVisions: :::: flicks my bic :::::::
Creepy Loner: [open weeping]
Kamperkenii: ya, know, I think we pushed 'Cactus over the edge
CordialCactus: i call it
CordialCactus: An Ode to Creeps
Mizzimm: oh my
Teressahay: got a girlfriend
CordialCactus: lol kamp
DinosoreVagina: I am calling the lima bean hotline right now Kenii
DinosoreVagina: help is on the way
Mizzimm: good evening
Creepy Loner: Off of my lima beans, you whores!
Kamperkenii: uh, dino, before you do, let me give you my account number
CordialCactus: hi mizzi
Sbohemiana: So this lima bean walks into a bar...
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
DinosoreVagina: there once was a lima bean from nantucket...



When the Going Gets Tough, Hang Up:
DinosoreVagina: omg, they hung up
DinosoreVagina: what kind of hotline hangs up
Creepy Loner: My kind of hotline does...


Lima Bean Rehab ... and Porn:

Creepy Loner: Surely a lima-lover hung up on you.
Kamperkenii: and yes, there WILL be a next time
DinosoreVagina: ok Kenii, I'll call back
DinosoreVagina: possibly creepy, but I never got to
request a lima bean intervention
DinosoreVagina: perhaps the lima beans were soaked in vodka?
Iuokhon: drinks infused with extract of lima beans
Iuokhon: interesting
Sbohemiana: I just ordered a lima-tini
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
Iuokhon: lima with a twist
DinosoreVagina: no lima beans infused with extracts of alcohol
Kamperkenii: with a twist of lima
Max 314159265358: Just goto bed
CordialCactus: aha
DinosoreVagina: people would eat more vegetables
CordialCactus: thats an idea, dinov
DinosoreVagina: see
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Iuokhon: lima beans and moonshine?
CordialCactus: title for a book
Iuokhon: I guess that's book title three.
Kamperkenii: title for someone's autobiography
CordialCactus: Lima Beans and Moonshine
DinosoreVagina: maybe a tv show
CordialCactus: i like it
DinosoreVagina: who can play the lima bean
CordialCactus: the lima bean is just suggested... how about that?
Creepy Loner: [flops back down with coffee]...Max, I can't sleep
while these bitches rape my lovely limas.
Creepy Loner: This is war.
Iuokhon: lol creepy. :D
DinosoreVagina: VV will be a suggestive lima bean?
Creepy Loner: [cracking neck / elbows / fingers / toes]
CordialCactus: lol creepy... it was all for you!
Kamperkenii: see? Creepy just wrote the opening chapter
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Sbohemiana: "My Life as a Pod"
Iuokhon: hmm
DinosoreVagina: Lima bean porn ...
DinosoreVagina: will it never end
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Iuokhon: The Milagro Lima Bean War, or sometihng
Creepy Loner: I missed that.
Creepy Loner: Keep going.
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Creepy Loner: Let me drop my pants...wait...BRB.
Kamperkenii: ok, Creepy, I shall pick up where I left off....
DinosoreVagina: keni was undressing the bean creep
Iuokhon: Limas in the Outfield
OnlineHost: Gypsyjo47 has entered the room.
DinosoreVagina: so uh
Creepy Loner: Okay! Genitals exposed and ready for a story!
Creepy Loner: Go!
CordialCactus: hiya gypsyjo!
DinosoreVagina: lol
Kamperkenii: ok, now where was I?
Teressahay: hi
DinosoreVagina: hi gypsy
Kamperkenii: Dino?
Gypsyjo47: Cactus****
DinosoreVagina: you had the bean on the counter kenii
Gypsyjo47: Vag***
Max 314159265358: Creep that's not exactly giving an erection
Kamperkenii: oh, that's right, Dino
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: omg he has a knife
Iuokhon: A few irrelevant quotes, like
"What the hell are these lima beans doing in left field!?"
DinosoreVagina: I think it's a snuff film
Kamperkenii: when you say 'bean on the counter', you mean
'bean counter', which means Anais!
DinosoreVagina: kenii, um
Creepy Loner: All right, Max...the truth is that I didn't
move at all. My pants have been off for hours. I'm in my
woobie and a man's dress shirt and really huge socks from
some South American hell...
CordialCactus: which makes me think of anise... which
leads to sausage!
Creepy Loner: Erection back now?
Max 314159265358: No.
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: LOL 'Cactus!
DinosoreVagina: wow now I'm excited creep
Creepy Loner: LOL
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Kamperkenii: well, the conclusion to the story will have to wait
Sbohemiana: what's a woobie?
Kamperkenii: I'm calling it a night
Mizzimm: sausage and beans. now youre talkin'
Max 314159265358: did you wear a tie?
CordialCactus: awww...
Creepy Loner: F*ck...nearly sprayed the computer with coffee
...damn you, Dino.
CordialCactus: night kamp
DinosoreVagina: night kenii
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: night all!!
OnlineHost: Kamperkenii has left the room.
Creepy Loner: I didn't wear a tie...no...
DinosoreVagina: keep talkin
DinosoreVagina: what else aren't you wearing?
Max 314159265358: I'm as flacicid as lake placcid
CordialCactus: dinov... if you were saying that out
loud.. would if have delivered in a dry manner
Creepy Loner: Umm...I'm not wearing underwear.
CordialCactus: or a learing manner
DinosoreVagina: hmm
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing a bra.
CordialCactus: the wow part
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing...
Creepy Loner: Perfume.
DinosoreVagina: well I'm a little nearsighted so it would
have been dry, yet leering
DinosoreVagina: ::fanning self::
CordialCactus: leer lear.. leer..man im sucking at this
spelling crap
Max 314159265358: the wow part the kneecaps not being busted?
DinosoreVagina: are you not wearing, a hat?
Mizzimm: how about a grin, creepy?
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Creepy Loner: I never wear a grin.
Mizzimm: bummer
Creepy Loner: I will wear a smirk now and then.


CordialCactus's Mom is MaryAnn?:

Creepy Loner: How could we work lima beans into a story
about a bartender with a name that gets slurred all over
the place...hmm [pensive chin rub]...
CordialCactus: my mom weeps for me..... im a constant
source of shame
Kamperkenii: hada, mom does not approve so she rips off
'Cactus' stash and smokes i tup to punish her
Iuokhon: maybe it's a werid bar that has lima beans in
containers for bar snacks.
Hadachoke: kenii, i want cordials moms job
CordialCactus: kamp....lol.. my mom would kick your ass
for saying that
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, I believe you about your mom
Creepy Loner: That's what I was thinking Iou...
CordialCactus: she is scary with a wooden spoon
VintagedVisions: : waiting for story :
Creepy Loner: Get rid of the beer nuts...
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, we know your mom would smoke up your
stash since Mom would never touch 'dirt weed'
Iuokhon: Woman beats child to death with wooden spoon?
Kamperkenii: Cactus, the chat has collectively concluded
that your mom is a bit of a virago
Iuokhon: :D
Iuokhon: That's good
Hadachoke: that's a waste of good Lima Beans
CordialCactus: she once asked me if my husband was a "drug
smoker" i hope he doesnt "smoke that grass"
Hadachoke: your husband just burns fields, right?
Hadachoke: to clear the trash
Hadachoke: ?
Kamperkenii: Dino you still there?
Kamperkenii: you've been quiet. TOO quiet
Iuokhon: Oh, I was laughing at Jam's comment, btw.
Not my wooden spoon remark.
Kamperkenii: something must be afoot
CordialCactus: oh! and she was walking through branson
with her sisters.. and her sisters said.. woof, did you
smell that.. thats pot.. my mom said.. let me smell i want
to smell pot.. and the guy came out and asker her if she
wanted to smoke a
DinosoreVagina: sorry kenii, I was calling Cactus's mom
Hadachoke: sore iis hiding from something
CordialCactus: doobie with him... these things happen
to my 70 yr old mother
CordialCactus: lol dinov!
Kamperkenii: LOL
Kamperkenii: my gawd, that was funny
DinosoreVagina: she said yes right?
Iuokhon: 70 and still considered hip. Interesting.
Hadachoke: of course
DinosoreVagina: didn't maryann just get busted
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. she talks the talk.. but wont
walk the walk.. or .. she has me convinced of that, anyway
Iuokhon: yeah
Iuokhon: dv
DinosoreVagina: wait, that's not your mom is it Cactus?
Kamperkenii: yes she did, Dino
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. thats not my mom
Iuokhon: though supposedly it was not hers
CordialCactus: ha! likely story
DinosoreVagina: right
Kamperkenii: Dino, no newsletter, right?
Jam7604801: hitchhikers is what she said
Iuokhon: I read that some friend of hers claimed
he left in her car.


Going Postal, Hawaiian Style:
Beysshoes: i went to the post office yesterday.
it was a splendid day.

Women of BookShelf - The BookSlut Monologues/
CodialCactus Reflections/BIDET Silliness/
Hillary's Pride and Prejudice/
CreepyLoner Asides/Dinosaur Vagina Joy Luck Club


News From Japan:
BooksIut: Kobo Abe said that there was nothing better
tasting than his own ear wax, just like cheese.

On Ass Kissers:

BD Radical84: I see Bidet's right hand rear kisser is here
ParaMyrrh: Bidet, can I kiss your butt again?
ParaMyrrh: it's so fragrant and shiny
ParaMyrrh: such a lovely pair of half spheres
BIDET LIVES: sure
BIDET LIVES: anyone else?
ParaMyrrh: thanks
ParaMyrrh: so Honored
BIDET LIVES: no licking, folks
Kamperkenii: Para, I was going to suggest that we refer
to Bidet as the 'porcelein concavity'
Kamperkenii: whadyathink?
ParaMyrrh: careful Bidet,the person who kisses your ass today
may be the one working to unseat you tomorrow
Lamumsie: would hate to misunderstand such a subject
BIDET LIVES: is that a threat?
ParaMyrrh: No not a threat
ParaMyrrh: Actually I want to be your only ass smoocher online
BIDET LIVES: i see. a promise. a cautionary tale.
BIDET LIVES: you'll have to deal with binx - he's the ultimate
BinxB91: oh Bidet, do shut up
ParaMyrrh: Bidet but he kisses all the hens' asses
BIDET LIVES: don't drop your scone, binxy
BinxB91: scone?
BinxB91: I'm not British
Lamumsie: ho-hum
Lamumsie: goodnight
BIDET LIVES: one down
BinxB91: what's the point in making people walk out?
BinxB91: and boring them to tears doesn't count.
BIDET LIVES: i am just sitting here
BIDET LIVES: reading poetry
BIDET LIVES: listening to lonesome bob
BinxB91: poetry? whose?
BIDET LIVES: yes, i said lonesome bob
BIDET LIVES: that's personal, binx
BIDET LIVES: but fairly harmless, wouldn't you say?
BinxB91: I'm just sitting here having sex
BinxB91: but with who is a little personal
BIDET LIVES: i'm having sex, too
BD Radical84: with what? a urinal cake?
BIDET LIVES: yes. i'm having sex with a urinal cake.
BD Radical84: well don't forget to wash up afterwards
BIDET LIVES: and down
ParaMyrrh: Bidet brilliant!
BIDET LIVES: more kisses!

Paraphrasing:

ParaMyrrh: Politics is Porn without the jouissance
Kamperkenii: no,politics is porn without all of the nekkid pics
ParaMyrrh: Kamper that was my point
BooksIut: What's that mean, Kamp?
ParaMyrrh: Jouissance implies sexual satisfaction titillation
Kamperkenii: oh, I know, Para. i merely Para phrased you
ParaMyrrh: politics is porn all money shot no sex
ParaMyrrh: Kamp good one
ParaMyrrh: Para phrased
Kamperkenii:just translated it into 'low' language for AOL's benefit


Bunk Beds:

CordialCactus: i will say this.. brazilian constructed
bunk beds should be outlawed... had to put them together...
nothing was plumb (?) lengths and widths were off.. it was
a character building experiece
CordialCactus: luckily the kids went to bed, so i
didnt have to kill them
BinxB91: character building instead of bed building?
DinosoreVagina: phew Cactus - close call
Bethliebner: i never had to sleep in a bunk bed
Yossarian4now: me either
CordialCactus: the bed is up and in use.... but...argh...
what an afternoon.. but, im still married.. thats good
right?
DinosoreVagina: sure Cactus
CordialCactus: beth.. my teens had bunk beds when they were
little.. i always wanted bunk beds when i was a kid , and a
sibling close in age to share them with..
CordialCactus: so... i like em
DinosoreVagina: hmm
BinxB91: I had bunk beds in boot camp
CordialCactus: they just look so american familyish
DinosoreVagina: I'd worry about the bunks
DinosoreVagina: my son has taken to climbing on the desk and
jumping off
DinosoreVagina: all I hear is a large "THUMP"
CordialCactus: lol... we had one of those already
CordialCactus: he's more careful now
DinosoreVagina: I'm going to have to bubble wrap him or get
some xanax
CordialCactus: speeds the learning curve
DinosoreVagina: I keep thinking the "that's a stupid idea"
thing to kick in
DinosoreVagina: so far, no luck

Proof:

BIDET LIVES: i'm freezing. this could be bird flu.
Bgrant444: Bidet, you are freezing because your soul is a cold,
dark and moss-covered place
BIDET LIVES: i met with a republican for 2 hours this morning
BIDET LIVES: and i liked him
Bgrant444: See? What did I say

Priorities:
CordialCactus: brb... cat is sounding weird


An Icon for Insincere Slimeballs:

BinxB91: Phronsie, Para's here. Your own Eddie Haskell
Phronsie: Binx, Para and I seemed to have reached detente.
Phronsie: For the moment at least.
BinxB91: Phronsie, you outlasted him
ParaMyrrh: Phronsie is fine by me Don't drag her into it
like a coward hiding behind a woman
Nomdujourxx: Amazing, Eddie Haskell has become an icon for
insincere slimeballs everywhere 30 years after the fact


Quest for Vagina:

BooksIut: I asked my boyfriend about the sacredness of
virginity and he said,
BooksIut: "It was special but not sacred. Your pu**y
wasn't the Holy Grail."
BooksIut: Then, BooksIut: if that wasn't bad enough,
BooksIut: "how was it special for you?"
BooksIut: OH MY GOD.
Creepy Loner: I think, after that, you should nickname
your vagina "Perceval."
BinxB91: I thought only men named their sex organs
Creepy Loner: That should change, Binx.
Creepy Loner: And Slut should be the one to change it.
BinxB91: The woman in Portney's Complaint named hers
BinxB91: but she was low
Creepy Loner: Slut's not too tall, either.


Twisted and Fucked:

PRobin5478: what kind of movies do you like?
Max 314159265358: The ones that have a twist
Max 314159265358: or the one where's the protaginist is
fucked from the start

A Boy Named Mark:

EmpressZ21: bad kissers can kill the whole deal even
if he is a nice employed guy
EDruezillaB: My first kiss followed my first proposal.
EmpressZ21: wow how old were you
EDruezillaB: Five.
EmpressZ21: and who asked you or him
EDruezillaB: A boy named Mark in Kindergarten.


Evidence of Our UNcoolness:
CordialCactus: thats the third time i have heard the
lawerence welk resort mentioned in the past month

Self-Defence?:
Godwit935: It's been a week now since I shot my cat.
Still getting over that.

So THAT's What a Tuffet Is:
BooksIut: Creep and I exchanged tuffets of pubic hair
in addition to photos.

Some Guy:
Is She Weird 55: oh binx i have a BF did i tell ya?
Is She Weird 55: some guy from drug mart


Hillary's Friends:
Is She Weird 55: oh, binx. my friend was on shroo ms over
the weekend and he got on top of my other guy friend and
tried to make out with h im

Odds and Ends:

CordialCactus: sorry.. had to make an emergency peanut
butter and jelly

Prospect26: Just for the record, I am a woman.

Niontron3: I am afraid of all humans

Is She Weird 55: i am so hungry all the time

Catpower777: did you laugh out loud?
DinosoreVagina: no, but I almost shot coffee out my nose

Prospect26: I don't do drugs...and do not do drugs by
association.

Solsfam: I let my granddaughter beat me playing tic tac toe

Max 314159265358: I may have consumed more green beans than
I'd like

Godwit935: This place is so awful, much of the time





Seems Like Old Times:
CordialCactus: bidet, go swallow a tuna can


KatyTried Reader:
Is She Weird 55: i cant stop laughings


A Freaking Weird Analogy:

Is She Weird 55: haha ohhh i loved those pomegranate martinis
CordialCactus: not*
CordialCactus: martinis are like breasts, hillary
CordialCactus: 1 is too few, 3 is too many... remember that
Is She Weird 55: ew
Is She Weird 55: that's a freaking weird analogy
CordialCactus: well... arent you glad you dont have 3


C'Loner Being Social:

Creepy Loner: I got drunk with a bunch of Australians
in Texas...God, they were fun.
Creepy Loner: Good trip.
Creepy Loner: I never thought that I would enjoy trying to
run a mile while blasted out of my brains on gin...
Creepy Loner: They proved me wrong.
Nanofaydan: gin?..they drank gin??.. sure they were Aussie?
Creepy Loner: It was my purchase, Nan...they were down with it
'cause it was free. They seemed to stick to beer for most
of our stay...


Godwit Being Coy:

Creepy Loner: GODWIT! Light of my life and fire of my loins!
Godwit935: I was just watching Charlie Rose, and I never saw a
better show of his than tonight's.
Creepy Loner: Oh, how I've missed you!
Creepy Loner: Tell me what you would do to me if you were with
me Godwit...make it hot!
Creepy Loner: [grins / leers]
Nanofaydan: ahhh..ok I can barely contain myself.....
Godwit935: It was all about William F. Buckley and Charlie
nearly broke down at the end. Never saw that before.
Godwit935: Creepy, I'd have you get me a cup of tea.
Creepy Loner: Mmm...
Creepy Loner: [spanks own arse]...I love ya, Godwit.


Outing a Snert:

Ridenwheels: does any one in here read
Creepy Loner: There are people in here that read enough to
know that "anyone" is a single word, Ride...
Creepy Loner: You wouldn't believe...

Tolerating a Snert:

Ridenwheels: dont know cant read
EmpressZ21: if he cant read how is he responding
Various704: emp, hes hitting random keys and hoping for
the best


Boris Vian/a Larded-Down Bed/Mescaline Slurpee/Her Dick:

BooksIut: Last couple of weeks I haven't gone to school
or work, just layed in bed reading or researching until
I fell asleep. This is repetitive action, if you can
call it that. But, it's like my bed is larded down with
all these facts
BooksIut: and it isn't so much that no one else knows or
gives a fuck about Boris Vian but that . . . my bed sinks
lower and lower with knowledge and in the end, will
become my grave.
BooksIut: I don't think my confession can be explained by
the mescaline Slurpee I've been slushing these past few
weeks.
BinxB91: Slut, you ought to try some poetry
BooksIut: Binx. I have.
BinxB91: slut, I am sure your poetry would show some energy
BooksIut: Binx. Doubtful. I feel as if . . .
I'm forcing the last quivers of cum out of my d*ck.


Pay PerView:

BooksIut: Nude Read(er)er.
BooksIut: My own demi-monde of Moroccan acrobats.
BooksIut: So it's pretty much about the sex.
BIDET LIVES: if i met bookslut in real life, i'd vomit
on her lap
BIDET LIVES: and wait for more big words
Creepy Loner: It's good to want things, BIDET.
Bgrant444: I might pay to see that


Let's Be Bots:

OnlineHost: LeslieHapablap has entered the room.
LeslieHapablap: hi, 36/f/married/california
LeslieHapablap: pictures in my profile, hot guys IM me.

No Retort of a Snappy Sort:

CordialCactus: "/"/"/wisconsin
Kamperkenii: Cactus, you're in Wisconsin?
Kamperkenii: a cheesehead, huh?
Kamperkenii: THAT explains it!
Kamperkenii: I should've connected the dots long before now
Phezziwig13: Yeah, a cactus grows in Wisconsin
CordialCactus: wait.. i married a cheesehead, birthed a yooper
... was born and raised a flatlander
CordialCactus: im confused
LeslieHapablap: cordialcactus, where were you raised?
CordialCactus: i have no retort for that
CordialCactus: no retort of the snappy sort... no, so there or
ha! no oh really or duh.. i have no love of cheese you see..
i just like it thankyou now let me be


Super Tuesday Leftover:

Phezziwig13: Obama just jumped up 2% in California
Harryshaw3178: if Obama can take Missouri...
Johnpaperfir: they are already calling Cali for Clinton wtf
Johnpaperfir: spanish people did this


I'm Easy:
She Weird 55: Haiku's are Easy.
But sometimes they dont make sense.
Refrigerator.


Tender Correspondence:

CordialCactus: Dear LeslieHapablap, I hope this note find you
healthy and happy. Sincerely, Cordial Cactus
LeslieHapablap: HELL NO!
LeslieHapablap: i still have that cold.
Nomdujourxx: That should be, Cordially, Cactus
Nomdujourxx: CC has never been sincere
CordialCactus: Dear Nom.. I have been wanting to write to you
about your backseat writing. In the future would you kindly
pen your own correspondance. Cordially, Cactus
LeslieHapablap: dear cordial cactus, stick it to him.
love, lesliehapablap
Niontron3: dear shelfers, you are boring me...yours truely,
Rono. P.S. Cut it out!!!
LeslieHapablap: dear niontron3, i wish you would leave and
never come back. seriously, lesliehapablap


I Don't Get It:

Bgrant444: Obama's wife will be a delight in office,
they will chain her to the Roosevelt Room
CordialCactus: i dont get it
Boulshevit: Me too
Harryshaw3178: don't get what?
CordialCactus: the historical reference
Lamumsie: mmhmmm
Lamumsie: keep her under lock and key
CordialCactus: or if there was one
Bgrant444: Wasn't historical The Roosevelt room is just a
room in the White house
CordialCactus: oh.. ok.. phew
Boulshevit: Nice save


Living On Risque Lane:

Boulshevit: Will you still love me sober?
CordialCactus: of course
Lamumsie: taking turns....?
Bgrant444: Boul, will you ever get sober?
Boulshevit: God willing no
CordialCactus: lams.. i just get sick of seeing myself talk
sometimes.. just being a goof
CordialCactus: so, hence, the "your turn"
Bgrant444: Cordial, I enjoy your conversation
Lamumsie: I was just considering the....possibilities?
CordialCactus: thanks bg.. but im around me all day long
CordialCactus: lol lams.. i practice not being risque
Lamumsie: heheh
Bgrant444: Cordial, you and I are the only sane ones here
I think, but I do worry about you :-)
Lamumsie: come now, was that risque?
Lamumsie: I was thinking like...Scrabble
Lamumsie: or...Yahtzee
CordialCactus: taking turns.... that could have gone straight
down risque lane
Lamumsie: y'know?
CordialCactus: oh
CordialCactus: you tricked me!
CordialCactus: lol
Lamumsie: O:-)
Bgrant444: Scrabble, Hammocking, 124 points
Lamumsie: nice, Bob!
Boulshevit: Hammocking?
Boulshevit: No shit?
Lamumsie: is that...laying in a hammock?
Bgrant444: Hammocking-Wild Sexual acts standing up in a Hammock
CordialCactus: i was getting ready to expound at length..( is
there any other way to expound) about the various ways that
taking turns could be risque, for your benefit
Lamumsie: or....ohhhhh!
Bgrant444: Cordial, well, in the shower maybe
CordialCactus: but.. thankfully.. i didnt travel that road..
lol.. see? i get sick of my rambling... but as long as you
dont mind
Bgrant444: Cordial, Ramble away
I2DaysInNovember: well Lamsie I sent it to you too : )
CordialCactus: bg.. hammocking?
Harryshaw3178: I enjoy your rambling, cordial
CordialCactus: standing in a hammock?
CordialCactus: is that truly possible?
Bgrant444: Cordial, yes, difficult, but rewarding
Lamumsie: CC's new name: Ramblin' Rose
Lamumsie: oh! cool, AT
CordialCactus: ramblin on.. dooo doo dooo .. sing my song
Bgrant444: Covorting Cactus
CordialCactus: covort
Bgrant444: Cavorting
CordialCactus: say that three times fast and i challenge
you not to giggle
Bgrant444: Well, guys chortle, we are not much on giggling
CordialCactus: ok.. i will concede that minor detail
Lamumsie: I was imagining...
Harryshaw3178: we'll gather together, chortle
Bgrant444: Lamumsie :-)
Lamumsie: and thump shoulders, Harry?
CordialCactus: lol
Harryshaw3178: thump and chortle
Lamumsie: heh
CordialCactus: thump chortle and cavort
Boulshevit: And ramble
Harryshaw3178: on the road to a round of guffaw and bash


Tuesdays With Morrie, Fridays With Ded:

DedLettr: when I come in here Fridays, Bey, I am looking
for sex
Beysshoes: oh ded, i bopped in for a hey..i must go
out shortly. next time perhaps yes?


C'Loner Knows Why:
Harryshaw3178: death has never frightened me. no idea why.
Creepy Loner: Because you're a stud, Harry.


Hillary's Date:

Is She Weird 55: hey, binx. i had a date tonight
BinxB91: A date?? And you're here to replay the highlights?
Is She Weird 55: um...only if you so desire
BinxB91: Was he nice to you?
Is She Weird 55: of course
Hadachoke: were you nice to him?
Is She Weird 55: yes i was nice to him
BinxB91: Did he say anything stupid?
Is She Weird 55: no he said nothing stupid.
Creepy Loner: I'm sure he said plenty of stupid things, he was
just blessed to be saying them to Hillary, who wouldn't notice.



Speak to Your Groin:

Penrod59: weaslemum is IMing me so I can';t keep up
DedLettr: tell her Hi, Pen
Penrod59: weaslemum wants to speak to your groin
Penrod59: WEASLEMUM: well hello dick


Love Him Terribly:

DedLettr: married to Patient Onion .. cant get sadder than that
Bethliebner: so true ded
Beysshoes: onion is a wonderful man ded. i love him terribly.
Beysshoes: but, alas, he loves beth
DedLettr: love is easy, marriage hard
Bgrant444: Beyss? Have you missed your meds?
Bethliebner: you can have him Bey


The Eternal Question:
Various704: para, have you always been a wank? or do you
do it to amuse us?


Pawning Off Ded:
Beysshoes: mumsy ... ded was here looking for you earlier
Beysshoes: also, he was looking for Friday night sex, mumsy

[And for the first time in his life, that summer he shed
tears for someone besides himself. That long step toward
maturity came after the finals of the boxing tournament,
in which his brother Louis was beaten in three rounds for
the seventy-five pound championship by a boy two years
older than he. At the end of the fight, Louis's lip was
cut and there was a big lump on his forehead. Louis took
his beating with his usual stoicism, but, while Benjamin
was leading him to the showers to stop the flow of blood
and put an icy washrag against Louis's forehead, the
tears of helpless love suddenly came to Benjamin's eyes.
He turned his head trying to keep Louis from seeing what
was happening. But he knew that Louis knew, though they
never talked about the moment, even when they were grown
men. Louis looked at him gravely, wondering and a little
ashamed of what seemed to him incomprehensible
childishness in a brother he had never seen weep before]


KaL and Hillary - together again:

ParaMyrrh: hey Bey Bey have you heard that rap song
Hurricane Chris wrote about you?
ParaMyrrh: it's jamming in clubs nationwide A bey bey
ParaMyrrh: Bey you haven't heard the song "Ay Bey Bey"?
Is She Weird 55: i HATe that song , para
ParaMyrrh: Ay Bey Bey has a primitive edge to it with
repetitive refrain banging like a tribla chant


"trying to get a visual on this":

Boulshevit: I am a walking penis
Lamumsie: are you bald, Bouldie?
Boulshevit: Not yet, Mumsie
Lamumsie: Boulsie ?*
Lamumsie: hmmm
Lamumsie: trying to get the visual on this
Nomdujourxx: Woody Allen did it years ago
Sleepy Eyed Evie: woody allen raps?
MadiHolmes: I thought Woody Allen clarinets
Nomdujourxx: walked around in a giant condom
Is She Weird 55: like like a bandage!


Drunk?:

Prospect26: Lady...everyone is so drunk.
Hadachoke: i'm stone cold sober
CordialCactus: not drinking
LadyMtnMedic: who is drunk?
Summers Eve L: Just because people are discussing their
taste in alcohol doesnt mean that they have had a drop.
Summers Eve L: I am painfully sober.
Nomdujourxx: Drinking coffee
DinosoreVagina: me too Summer
Hadachoke: me too
Jam7604801: me three summer
CordialCactus: well, im drinking.. but its water.. clean
clear crisp water
DinosoreVagina: well this explains why nothing makes sense
Tem o Bedlam: A nip or two with my advil...
DinosoreVagina: you're all sober
Hadachoke: that stuff'll rust your pipes, cc
Summers Eve L: Water! You tart!
Nomdujourxx: There goes that excuse
Jam7604801: the only stuff i have in the house is a bottle of wine
CordialCactus: lol @ tart
Tem o Bedlam: It'd be downright uncivic for me to drink water.
DinosoreVagina: right Tem, almost... unpatriotic
Nomdujourxx: I've got a bottle of rye but I ran out of ginger ale
Summers Eve L: Mix it all together!
CordialCactus: nom.. thats my problem as well.. i have rum,
whiskey, scotch, tequila, apple schnapps.. but nothing to
mix it with
DinosoreVagina: well now we've covered drugs, breasts and booze
CordialCactus:(asking in my mothers voice) are you all grass smokers?
DinosoreVagina: what's left?
LadyMtnMedic: no CC
DinosoreVagina: we didn't finish drugs then



A Fun Date:
Summers Eve L: I'm not going to drink until Saturday night
after the bout (roller derby game) and win or lose my friends
I shall not be at all sober.


Honoring William F. Buckley:

Godwit935: I want to tear the ass off an elephant, in honor
of the death of William F. Buckley.
William F. Buckley.
LeslieHapablap: ok.
LeslieHapablap: good luck with that.
Godwit935: I love the way that guy LIVED.
Creepy Loner: ...
LeslieHapablap: creepy loner, that was exactly my response.
Godwit935: I disagreed with him on a fundamental level,
but he liked to FIGHT.
LeslieHapablap: earlier i was on the telephone with mr. hapablap.
LeslieHapablap: he said, "william f. buckley died."
LeslieHapablap: i said, "..."
LeslieHapablap: then i said, "anyway."
Creepy Loner: That's really the best reaction, Leslie...
no doubt about it.
Godwit935: Leslie, had you heard much of Buckley?
LeslieHapablap: godwit935, no.
Godwit935: The guy was hard to beat.
Godwit935: I like a guy's hard to beat.
Creepy Loner: [biting my tongue]
Jam7604801: me too creepy
LeslieHapablap: he did have a wonderful vocabulary.
Godwit935: Creepy, you're easy to beat, if you bite your tongue.
Godwit935: Leslie, he was far more than vocabulary.
LeslieHapablap: of course.
CordialCactus: just googling a bit.. found this cute..
william f buckley wrote a negative review to ayn rands
ATLAS SHRUGGED...
Jam7604801: wit are you hard to beat?


Roller Derby as Serious Shit:

NeoNPaisleY: roller derby, serious shit there. jk.
NeoNPaisleY: some dedicated people nonetheless
Summers Eve L: We do take roller derby seriously. We play it
for the sport. Not like back when it was like wrestling.
CordialCactus: i remember falling of my cool yellow and blue
bmx bike, falling out of trees, and kicking boys butts in
grade school.. it didnt hurt near as much when you are 60
pounds and 4'9"
CordialCactus: not that i do those things much now
CordialCactus: heh
Jennifer Payne: i think there's something wrong
Summers Eve L: Yeah falling hurts as an adult. First time I
fell as an adult I didn't think I was ever going to be able
to get up.
Summers Eve L: I hada to crawl over to the wall and pull
myself up.
CordialCactus: i hear ya
Hadachoke: i hada too
NeoNPaisleY: shit im twenty years old and falling doesent feel
particurly nice
Summers Eve L: haha
Jam7604801: i sorta like roller derby ... watching it as a kid
Jam7604801: the coaches had names like wrestlers
Summers Eve L: My derby name is WHORECULES
CordialCactus: lol
Summers Eve L: Tis I! WHORECULES!
Jennifer Payne: the girl who cuts my hair is on the roller derby team
Jennifer Payne: and her name is The Brutician
Summers Eve L: Where are you from, Jen? Oh good one.
Jennifer Payne: VA
CordialCactus: what are some other derby names
Jennifer Payne: like any could be better than Whorecules
Glomawr: been watching him for years
Glomawr: mint julep
Summers Eve L: In my league we have Machine Gun Kelly, Your Mom,
Instant Karmen...
Tem o Bedlam: Pemberly. According to Jane Austen, that's in Derbyshire.
Summers Eve L: Kinky Kenevil
Summers Eve L: Bloody Elle
Summers Eve L: Gwen Reaper
Jennifer Payne: lol Bloody Elle
Summers Eve L: my favorite from other leagues are Hurt Reynolds.
Glomawr: watch out machine gun
Summers Eve L: Soylent Mean
Glomawr: believe her name was Kathryn Kelly
Summers Eve L: Assault N Peppa
Jennifer Payne: lol
Hadachoke: Graceless Kelly
Summers Eve L: Mace Kelly
Tem o Bedlam: LOL
Summers Eve L: Smashimi
Hadachoke: lol
CordialCactus: love it
Hadachoke: the japaqnese chick
Tem o Bedlam: No Elizabeth of Hungary?
Lamumsie: hmmmmmmm
Glomawr: lam chop


Lispers and the NRA:

DinosoreVagina: feel free to im me... Lam
DinosoreVagina: hubba hubba
Lamumsie: ready or not...
DinosoreVagina: just don't use the lisp
Tem o Bedlam: Hey, we got the NRA. The entire population
is potentially dangerous, whether or not they've been
diagnosed.
DinosoreVagina: Cactus says that kills it
CordialCactus: lol.. it makes it better
DinosoreVagina: lol
DinosoreVagina: hey hon, can you talk dirty with a lisp
StarlightStorms: I hope we keep the NRA!
DinosoreVagina: I doubt I could say that with a straight face
CordialCactus: ok.. im getting loopy... look at the screen..
i have 4 lols in a row
Lakeshadw: Lam---to quote Kenny rodgers---"ya gotta know when
ta hold em...when to fold em...."
Lamumsie: wow, guess LadyM really doesnt like cyber?
DinosoreVagina: lol cactus
Lamumsie: lol
DinosoreVagina: oh LOL
Lamumsie: hahaha Shadow
CordialCactus: dinov, you are taking the loopy lead, though:)
DinosoreVagina: maybe you should have offered with a lisp?
Lamumsie: loopy lisping
DinosoreVagina: yeah well, some loopy is born not made
Lakeshadw: sore Vaggie--make that a "lithp"
Jam7604801: i have a joke i will try to copy and paste
DinosoreVagina: I always have to sound that out
DinosoreVagina: and it involves spitting kinda
Tem o Bedlam: It isn't that odd that there is only one amendment
to the Constitution. It is, however a little peculiar that it
should be numbered "2."
Jam7604801: dern to won't let me paste it
DinosoreVagina: do you supposes there's a reverse speech class,
where I could learn to lisp
CordialCactus: you thilly perthonth... it goeth like thith
... thyber thexth ith more interethting when you thay thuggethtive
thtuff like, thupple and thmooth and thothe kindth of thingth
CordialCactus: brb
Tem o Bedlam: In a reverse class, tha'd be "psil."
DinosoreVagina: LOL
DinosoreVagina: by the time I sound it out, the mood is gone though
Lakeshadw: Yes, sore...ith called "dythlectith 101"
DinosoreVagina: oh
Lamumsie: ithn't that thore?
DinosoreVagina: wonder who teaches that
StarlightStorms: back in a few
Lakeshadw: brb...Jeez..need a tea + single malt
OnlineHost: StarlightStorms has left the room.
DinosoreVagina: oh definetly lam
Jam7604801: it was about a midet with a lispth
DinosoreVagina: Jam, can you type it?
Jam7604801: i can mail it
Tem o Bedlam: I'll spare everybody the "Cathtilian" joke.
man, I'm getting lazy.
DinosoreVagina: ok
CordialCactus: nacl
CordialCactus: whoa... back*
DinosoreVagina: wb Cactus
DinosoreVagina: lol
CordialCactus: thanks
DinosoreVagina: national association of chronic lispers?
DinosoreVagina: nacl
CordialCactus: lol
CordialCactus: good one
DinosoreVagina: we meet on fridays
CordialCactus: heh
Tem o Bedlam: "I've got a little lithp." - WS Gilbert
CordialCactus: funny... ok.. i really need to go.. you win
funny of the night with that quick acronym thing
DinosoreVagina: for dwinth and thewapy


Spell Check:

CordialCactus: i found them cheap, thought i put some
in the kids room, the bar and the guest room, to add ambience
CordialCactus: i love inexpensive ambience... wait is
that supposed to be ambiance?
IaintRlGHT: ambiance
CordialCactus: oh like you know


Raising the Conversation:

CordialCactus: well.. i may bave bored you to death, but
i got us away from dildos and strap-ons
Harryshaw3178: thanks cactus
Boulshevit: Speaking of strapons and Dildos..oh..sorry


Keep Me Informed:
Godwit935: Did anyone see the Charlie Rose show last week
dedicated entirely to William F. Buckley?
CordialCactus: no godwit, i wish you would email me
notices for things like that


"I thought you should be told":

CordialCactus: wb hada
Hadachoke: ty cc
CordialCactus: hada.. i asked lams what she had been doing
... she said "hada!"
CordialCactus: i thought you should be told



Why Akron Subways Are Dry:
Is She Weird 55: i am afraid of mayonnaise


The Whole of It:
BooksIut: That's the whole of it. Should I feel embarrassed
about my hyper sexuality?