I love You


Reflections on an AL'er Visit:
EmpressZ21: i just love when they stomp off

Cyber Only, Thank You:
KissMyAsterix: I found out years ago
KissMyAsterix: that the online experience does not improve
with visual and voice

Hada Went to MIT?:
Hadachoke: i had a tat on my dick.. everyone used to laugh,
cuz it said "MITY"
Hadachoke: then one day i got an erection and it said
"Massachusets Institute of Technology"


William Wallace Lives:
Various704: a boy and his dad were driving trhough a safari park
just outside glasgow.......
Boulshevit: Glasgow?
Various704: they saw 2 lions. one was licking the others ass...
misscalichica90: its in scotland right?
Various704: the boy asked "why is that lion doing that dad"?
Various704: the father replied
PaIeRlDER2: not much gets by you does it miss
Various704: well son, its just ate an englishman and is trying to
get the taste out of its mouth
misscalichica90: well i hear everyone out
Hadachoke: ROFL
Boulshevit: lol, jesus
PaIeRlDER2: jesus
Various704: ah well.

Staying Power or ...:
Various704: hello again, miss
Boulshevit: Wb, Missy
misscalichica90: yes hello agaim
BinxB91: misscali has staying power?
KissMyAsterix: or just bad taste

Bram Stoker Turns in his Grave:
SkyPawnLP: I'm so sick of vampires

Movie Review:
SkyPawnLP: The Hurt Locker?
AmberDevilRay8: Excellent movie.
Waggonercj: The Hurt Locker is scary
AmberDevilRay8: It's probably the most nerve-wracking movie
I've ever seen.
AmberDevilRay8: It's about the bomb squad,
AmberDevilRay8: In Iraq.
AmberDevilRay8: But it has none of that dumb "red wire or blue
wire?!" crap in it.

On Locations:
AmberDevilRay8: It's my favorite movie since "Zodiac"
SkyPawnLP: Zodiac was superb!
SkyPawnLP: I loved! that moved
AmberDevilRay8: After I saw it we went out and made my husband
drive me to all the places where he killed someone.
AmberDevilRay8: I felt morbid. =\
SkyPawnLP: lol. I did that when I moved to Chicago
SkyPawnLP: "this is where Batman made Joker's truck flip over"

"sex" is a 12-pointer:
Bklyngeezer: I like books with thorny good guys and likable
villians
SkyPawnLP: "thorny"?
AmberDevilRay8: You know...
AmberDevilRay8: "vexacious"
SkyPawnLP: dont be throwing words worth more than 8 points in
Scrabble at me

Amber's Oven:
AmberDevilRay8: Two muffins are in an oven. One looks to the other
and says "Hey man, it's getting kind of hot in here, eh?"
AmberDevilRay8: The other muffin says "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"

Trust me:
Bklyngeezer: I am very funny


The Playful Elizaveta:
ElizavetaTheRed: Hello
BinxB91: good evening, Elizaveta
ElizavetaTheRed: good evening
BinxB91: Shouldn't we have a chaperone?
ElizavetaTheRed: yes but they are all drunk

The Cat is a Bitch:
BinxB91: Elizaveta, what music are you listening to?
ElizavetaTheRed: At the moment its quiet in here
BinxB91: quiet?? Is someone sleeping in the next room?
Alansueton: silence is music nobody ever criticizes
ElizavetaTheRed: no I live alone
ElizavetaTheRed: I just felt like having it quiet
Alansueton: it's a oriental bazaar here
BinxB91: you live alone?? not even a cat?
ElizavetaTheRed: she ran away, the little bitch


Book Discussion:
DoomGrl: has TJ been around this week?
BinxB91: I have been reading TJ's stories recently
DoomGrl: which ones Binx?
BinxB91: The Pugilist at Rest
DoomGrl: they are good stories in there
BinxB91: Tj looked very handsome (and a little dangerous) in his
author's picture
DoomGrl: yes, his old pictures are pretty hot
DoomGrl: that one was picked by john updike as one of the best
stories of the century or something
DoomGrl: like that
BinxB91: when reading stories like the ones Tj wrote I wonder things
like how many great novels and poems died right there in the mud
BinxB91: or were created in the hearts of those who survived
DoomGrl: you mean by the potential authors dying?
BinxB91: right, Doom
DoomGrl: TJs stories in the new yorker are probably his best ones,
i think,
DoomGrl: except the doom girl story wasnt in the new yorker
BinxB91: thr doom girl story?
DoomGrl: you dont know about the doom girl story?
BinxB91: no (furrowed brow)
DoomGrl: he wrote it after he met me
Alansueton: Doom you met someone from AOL?
DoomGrl: there is a character in it called Doom Girl
DoomGrl: just TJ alan, you know that

"be still my beating heart":
Alansueton: Doom will you marry me? As part of a practical plan
to convince my parents I am not gay?


Odds and Ends:

ElizavetaTheRed: A sleeping pill sounds nice

DoomGrl: I am so not into S & M

Jam7604801: i sold 125 pounds of tomatos

Prospect26: why would anyone eat poptarts?

NotNycgirl: autism fascinates me


Hiding Her Disappointment:
Alansueton: Doom I don't think we should ever meet
DoomGrl: ok

To be Determined:
Permanent I: what's this room about

Rono Redux:
Permanent I: the summer of love began the long slide into total
degeneration, ending with the modern hipster
Alansueton: Perm sound slike Rono
What Jam Knows:
Prospect26: Jam...as you must know , we've had no summer here
in the East.?

What's to Love About Brazil:
Permanent I: brazilian women have mutated so all their erotic
sensations are in their anuses, their vaginas are numb
Alansueton: Perm I don't agree
AmberDevilRay8: Well...they onviosuly have a tolerance for those
waxes.
AmberDevilRay8: Maybe it's true.
Permanent I: I love the way they sniff glue and shoot one
another in braSil

The Eternal Question:
Prospect26: Jam...so where is Lady?

Lourdes Got Nothing On Her Pool:
AmberDevilRay8: I swam in a public pool once and didn't get sick
for 10 years.

Epiphany:
AmberDevilRay8: You know what I realized...
AmberDevilRay8: ...no one uses the word "morbidly".

Glibberish
BinxB91: David might buy you a slice of pizza ... but then gross
you out so you couldn't eat it
DoomGrl: if you spend 30 dollars at Twist & Shout they give you
a coupon for a medium sub next store
Alansueton: Binx I am a Gentleman
Alansueton: And Im quite Glib
Hadachoke: alan speaks glibberish

Twisted Question:
AlexaSkelexa: you think i'm pretending to be sober?

Looking For a Partner:
Prospect26: So who is drinking here?

Russians Are Like That:
DoomGrl: this russian guy was going to buy my car when i sold it
and so he called me and asked about and i said he should come
look at it and he said he couldnt because he didnt have a car

Short Book Review:
Alansueton: Prospect what book are you reading presently?
Prospect26: Alan...The Story of Edgar Sawttelle,5elle\\\\\\
BinxB91: DoomGrl's review of Edgar Sawtelle:
"I cried so much I almost threw up"
Prospect26: Binx...I have not finished the book.
Please do not comment.
BinxB91: When the book ends, DoomGrl still has her cookies

The Humble David?:
Prospect26: Alan...I am not finished with the book, It is a
first novel and I think it is very large.
Alansueton: Prospect my first time with a woman had quite an
opposite review . First, not novel and not large

Listen to your Webmaster:
ATsnapkik: I created this screen name at the recomendation of
the webmaster for our website

Jailhouse Rock:
AmberDevilRay8: I was a DJ for 2+ years.
AmberDevilRay8: Until I got fired for taking collect calls from
prison inmates making song requests.

James Brown Revisited:
axislovejimi67: if papa's got a brand new bag...what is in that bag?
IonDeSparrow: and what did he do with the old one
IonDeSparrow: and where is mama???? omg, she's in the old bag!!!


Pending:
AmberDevilRay8: I have a 5-year-old cat that I haven't named yet.


Gina's Boy:
KissMyAsterix: my son watched some show yesterday, on animal planet
KissMyAsterix: and this guy had his arm bit off by an alligator
KissMyAsterix: or a croc, I don't know which
Various704: oh dear
KissMyAsterix: but he cried
KissMyAsterix: not because the guy lost an arm
KissMyAsterix: but because they went out and killed the gator


Simon Cried:
EmpressZ21: my nephew simon cried yesterday because his virtual
penguin Floppy ran away D
KissMyAsterix: ran away?
KissMyAsterix: on what, the computer?
EmpressZ21: apparently if you dont put the thing on vacation when
you leave for a while they run away
EmpressZ21: yep
BinxB91: penguins run?
KissMyAsterix: funny
EmpressZ21: well ambled away
KissMyAsterix: waddled off
KissMyAsterix: back to the arctic
KissMyAsterix: penguin's gotta eat too
EmpressZ21: flappin his arms
EmpressZ21: fins
EmpressZ21: wings
KissMyAsterix: that seems cruel, any kid would cry over that
BinxB91: Simon has an interesting future
EmpressZ21: oh he certainly does i see broadway


Poland vs Russia vs Onion:
ElizavetaTheRed: I wanted to see Drag Me to Hell but its gone from
the theatres
Snegurochka Doll: Is that a movie about a trip to Poland?
PatientOnionSF: Drag Me to Hell is like asking someone to take you
to Russia
ElizavetaTheRed: I agree Mr Onion
Snegurochka Doll: Thats to steale my joke
PatientOnionSF: That is the American way
PatientOnionSF: you stole capitalism, i steal your shutkas
ElizavetaTheRed: Thats to conjugate verbs wrong
PatientOnionSF: that's russian for Joke
Snegurochka Doll: america is not capitolist
PatientOnionSF: are you a rush limbaugh doll now?
Snegurochka Doll: no i hate him
Snegurochka Doll: and also Bush
ElizavetaTheRed: Don't start Elena
PatientOnionSF: Elena, I will bake you some xleb tonight
PatientOnionSF: that's russian for bread
Snegurochka Doll: its a kind of russian bred
PatientOnionSF: call me up, you can give me english lessons
ElizavetaTheRed: You don't want that Mr Onion
ElizavetaTheRed: No one will understand you
PatientOnionSF: I speak an international language of delicious
cuisine
PatientOnionSF: Elena is sending her photos to all the men, they
have fallen in love
ElizavetaTheRed: Look Elena, another doll
PatientOnionSF: i am making pizza
Snegurochka Doll: i shold have it a new screen name
PatientOnionSF: and selling books to pay Red's next rent
PatientOnionSF: since she is so busy painting sleeping pigeons
PatientOnionSF: wait till they wake up, boy will they be upset and angry
ElizavetaTheRed: ha
ElizavetaTheRed: they will understand that its art
PatientOnionSF: yes, even pigeons understand the work of a great
Polish Artist
Snegurochka Doll: if you call it art
ElizavetaTheRed: The pigeons understand but the russkies dont
Snegurochka Doll: we know art when we see art


Is it ever logic nite?:
Beysshoes: my neighborhood is dull binx. 'burbs. ick
KissMyAsterix: somehow it defies logic to think there are projects
on the hawaiian islands
Melodramamama22: tell me it's not logic nite
KissMyAsterix: no it's defy logic night

Beys World:
PaIeRlDER2: im named after a toilet
Beysshoes: commode?
Beysshoes: bidet?
Melodramamama22: commode rider!
PaIeRlDER2: JOHN|
Beysshoes: oooooh duh


Twatty:
Melodramamama22: i maintain that logic is like scripture,
and can be tweaked to prove a point
Melodramamama22: no matter how twatty of a point it is

A Team of Oxy:
PaIeRlDER2: omg i heard a spoof on billy mayes on you tube
where he is in heaven selling oxyclean
PaIeRlDER2: trying to get the blood off jesuss robe
Babigurl10155: oxyclean making sure everything is nice an white
PaIeRlDER2: heard one for oxycottin too
Melodramamama22: oh, that oycontin is nasty bidness
Babigurl10155: save that for the oxymorons


Not Regularly Published:
PBowden204: published but not reg basis gri diff inn emm grin

A Milk Junkie:
Melodramamama22: not personal experience, somebody close to me
got a addiction problem
PaIeRlDER2: mel, that stuff runs them down fast
Melodramamama22: ok he was a junkie and i din't know it
Melodramamama22: he kept walking into the house,going straigt after
a quart of milk

Dream Girls:
BinxB91: Last Summer Summary - Starpulse.com
jam7604802: binky, that's your favorite porno?
BinxB91: no ...
BinxB91: but it does involve a sociopathic girl goading boys into
a gang rape
jam7604802: binky is channelling creepy loner
PaIeRlDER2: gawd binx thats my dream girl


But He's Invisible:
jam7604802: occasionally an idiot does sneak in


Author Author Author:
PBowden204: Pale iots a beer can and its down sceww balls
like you spreading rumors not facts bad for USA
AmberDevilRay8: PB is an author?
PaIeRlDER2: a drunk too amber
jam7604802: obviously
jam7604802: multi-platinum best seller his bebo says
PBowden204: Yup biker mags and natur mags and opthers
PaIeRlDER2: hooked on phonics huh pb
jam7604802: amber lives and dies for Biker Chick Monthly
PBowden204: plus know my own mind not tell others how should think
AmberDevilRay8: Why is it that everyone who is an "author" in here is
about as articulate as a can of paint?
jam7604802: lead-based paint?

In Jam's Bedroom:
Jam7604801: she told me to leave them on
LadyMtnMedic: Jam, sometimes you have to think as well
Jam7604801: it was no biggy

In Binx's Bedroom:
NotNycgirl: binx please do not post me


Tough Question:
Melodramamama22: in our paper we have a column called "ask a gay"
Melodramamama22: the question this week was: is it okay for a
straight person to call a gay person bitch
Melodramamama22: answer: no

Lunaticky:
Melodramamama22: one time when my lunatic ex husband was being
especially lunaticky, he tried to convince people i was autistic
Melodramamama22: i suck at math


Melo Can't Resist Lunatics:
Alansueton: Chemical Imbalances etc all hypotheses never proven
Melodramamama22: more claims than any other medical science
Alansueton: Mapping the Brain Hemispheres all quess work
Melodramamama22: can you prove this?


Beysshoes Revealed:
BinxB91: "Last night when we were sitting in the park were you excited?" "Excited?" "sexually excited"
Beysshoes: "yes. sexually excited"
BinxB91: She said she wasn't and decided it was time to leave
Beysshoes: well, binx, i guess she wasn't a slutbag like me.
BinxB91: Beys ....
BinxB91: don't be so hard on yourself
Beysshoes:

When You Peek, You Win:
Catpower777: Bey you live in paradise
Beysshoes: well, as you know cat, i wouldn't know since i dunt
go out.
Catpower777: peek out the window, Bey


ASSonance:
PatientOnionSF: binky dated tons of nuns

[Isabelle enters, radiant in her white dress, walking unescorted
down the aisle, a halo of plae tea roses in her hair.
She ascends the few steps to stand beneath the chupa, and as
she encircles me, gliding around me the requisite seven times,
everything slows down, my vision fractures, and I seem to see
her from all sides at once. It's as though I were standing
inside a perfectly formed circle of light, and an odd feeling
wells up inside my chest. I experience a kind of shattering
in my heart, which, had I only been another person or myself
at another time, I might have recognized as joy.]

The 7-year Itch:
DoomGrl: will you guys all still be here in 7 years?

The Ironic Geneva:
DoomGrl: i have a freind named Geneva, her dad is departmnet
chairman but wouldnt buy her clothes for school, so she worked
as a stripper after school

The Spy's Daughter:
DoomGrl: i had to take apart a computer tonite and destroy the
hard drive so nobody would steal my dads secrets

The Colorful Melo:
Alansueton: guess work I like q's
Melodramamama22: or are you just spouting twatty blather?

Melo Stonewalled:
Alansueton: I don't doubt people are Manic Depressive but
positing a chemical imbalance in the brain?
Melodramamama22: this is like talking to a cinder block

Post This:
NotNycgirl: you know i really like you if i put my finger in
your belly button

The Unavoidable:
SparrowAtPeace: eh we have lots of soul mates
SparrowAtPeace: you cant avoid em lol