Summertime and the Livin's Easy


Of Course:
Danmagtom: there is a horse in the olympics called special ed

Remember Those Nights:
CordialCactus: was last night garlic night, summers?
Summers Eve L: Tonight is cooking night.


Tha Day That You Grow Old:
Yossarian4now: so its come to this, me, sat afternoon hangover,
filling my days of the week pill thing
CordialCactus: ah, fun
Yossarian4now: its official, im old
Danmagtom: yoss... well that IS a major undertaking
CordialCactus: yoss... i dont think you're old until someone
else fills your days of the week pill thing
Danmagtom: baby ... let me fill your pill thingie
Summers Eve L: What did you do last night, Yoss?
Yossarian4now: went out with some friends to hear a band, got in like 6
Summers Eve L: haha Wow. Nice long night out.
Yossarian4now: eh
Yossarian4now: and yet no hangover, very cool


Epicures:

CordialCactus: i sent my kids and husband to grandma's.. went
to the store for limes, mint and rum... picked up some sushi
and had a me night....
Summers Eve L: I didn't drink enough for a hangover last night,
but tonight I'm making up for that.
Summers Eve L: Hell, I could use a stiff one right now even.
Summers Eve L: Did you make mojitos?
CordialCactus: i did... then switched to vodka and lemonade,
the mint kept clogging the straw
Summers Eve L: I love mojitos. Such a resfreshing summer drink.
Yossarian4now: eh
CordialCactus: the first one was good... the second i wasnt as
precise, apparently.. so it wasnt as ...well it looked like
backyard wading pool water after cutting the grass
Summers Eve L: I'm going shopping soon for the ingredients for
dinner tonight. Bleh.
CordialCactus: thats when i switched.. then the room was so
growly last night that i went to bed to read
Summers Eve L: I hate Saturday grocery shopping.
Summers Eve L: It's like busy mom cart derby.
CordialCactus: i remember you saying eggplant parm. and lasagna
(i think)
Summers Eve L: Correct!
Danmagtom: i cant handle a lot of sugar in my drink... my kamikazee
habit being the only exceptions.. but that i like for the limyness


Impatient Onion:
FoodSIut: what is "store stuff garlic"?
Summers Eve L: I am.
Summers Eve L: No I was in skates. I slipped in duck crap.
Summers Eve L: Seriously. Duck crap.
FoodSIut: what is store stuff garlic?
Danmagtom: lol summer.. sounds like my kind of injury
CordialCactus: i was formulating a duck crap reply.
but ive got nothing
Danmagtom: jaysus onion.. grocery store bought
Summers Eve L: This is the second fall that I have suffered from
my wheels sliding sideways in duck crap.
FoodSIut: where else can you buy garlic?
Summers Eve L: Luckily I was still wearing all my pads.
FoodSIut: an effing shoe store?
Yossarian4now: truck stop garlic
Danmagtom: summer.. my repeat accident is hitting rabbits on my bike
FoodSIut: truck stop wh*res, not truck stop garlic
Summers Eve L: Oh wow! haha
Yossarian4now: damn onion, that could explain a lot
CordialCactus: oh man.. how do the rabbits react?
Danmagtom: err onion... you never go to farmers markets?
roadside veggie stands?
Summers Eve L: Inbreeding could also explain a lot, but that's
another conversation all together.
CordialCactus: i mean.. are they dead rabbits
CordialCactus: or.. do they traipse away
Yossarian4now: garlic inbreeding
FoodSIut: err dan-gina, the only difference between a roadside
stand and a grocery store is one is hillbilly and one pays
union wages
Danmagtom: well... cord.. i have nightmares about them... they
always disappear by the time i get untangled and dusted off
Summers Eve L: haha They're vampire rabbits.
FoodSIut: it doesn't matter where you sell garlic
CordialCactus: ;p;
Yossarian4now: refill, brb
Danmagtom: i literally dream about them limping around in
the underbrush lol
Summers Eve L: Oh like watership down rabbits.
Danmagtom: yeah it does onion.. and i already said... you have
to know who the vendor is.. some are not local grown
FoodSIut: the err farmers market here has produce that is
crappier, drier, older, and err more expensive than chinatown
Danmagtom: yep.. some are terrible
Danmagtom: phoney
FoodSIut: just cuz you live the evil midwest
Summers Eve L: So like the buy their veggies at the grocery store
and then set up shop on the side of the road?
FoodSIut: where you only get fresh local produce two weeks a year
Danmagtom: i was terribly spoiled by michigan... yep


Limited Crush:
BinxB91: Ever had a crush on a co-worker?
JimJones912: i have
JimJones912: actually, this one girl's chest


Would You Like Volleyball on a Train, in the Rain?:

Uqtipie: why do the women wear little outfits to play
volley ball on the olympics
Uqtipie: men have to wear those shorts
Ooolijay: because that's the uniform
EmpressZ21: they are on a beach
DoomGrl: yeah the beach volley ball turned out to be one of the
top watched events. wonder why?
BinxB91: Uqtipie, so they can increase their sponsorships
MyStrat: uq, they were talking about that on the radio today...
its more an issue of comfort than anything else...less places
for sand to gather, and easier to move around
Uqtipie: i guess
MyStrat: uq, they had option to wear one piece, but they passed on it
Uqtipie: i dont like volley ball anyway


[... one lunchtime, Cardozo, mulling over popping the question
to his Worcestershire girlfriend, points out a beautiful woman
in the street. "I'll never be able to go up to her and ask her
out," he says, sounding dazed. Plainly the logical response is
to inquire of Cardozo exactly when was the last time (a) he asked
out a girl on the street, and (b) she said yes, and (c) he and
she went on to greater things; and in this way bring home to him
that he's being a dummy. I say no such thing, however. We are
in the realm not of logic but of wistfulness, and I must maintain
that wistfulness is a respectable, serious condition. How,
otherwise, to account for much of one's life?]


Bath Toys:
BD Radical84: Does anyone ever have scenarios go through your
head while you read your book while taking a bath?
Treeluva: i have scenarios go through my head without reading
a book.
ThePaIeRlDER: in the tub i concentrat on my pellet driven
submarine i got at walmart
Treeluva: my brain is like a hamster wheel... except it never
stops turning.

What Lies Beneath:
FoodSIut: Don't be fooled by the grotesque banal veneer of
Creepy's life, there is a slithering pool of weird raw
humanity just beneath it.

Donchya want me?:
Creepy Loner: And I once volunteered for something right after 9-11
...but the group didn't seem to actually exist. I never got a call...
Creepy Loner: Nothing.
Creepy Loner: [shrug]
Creepy Loner: Sleeper cell. They probably didn't want me.


The Joys of being Single:
BinxB91: "I will wash the dishes while you go have a beeeeer"
Creepy Loner: The joys of being single...you can have a beer and
do the dishes.

The Joys of being Married:
Lydiaparn8: I think I'm going to go watch AMW in the bedroom with
my darling husband.

[Not that long ago, at yet another gathering of familiars, our
host, an old friend of Rachel's named Matt, makes some remarks
about Tony Blair and his catastropic association with George W.
Bush, whom Matt describes as the embodiment of a distinctly
American strain of stupidity and fear. On this side of the
Atlantic, this is a commonplace judgement, so commonplace, in
fact, as to be of no real interest; but then the conversation
strays in a direction that's rare these days, to the events
synonymous with September 11, 2001. "Not such a big deal,"
Matt suggests, "when you think of everything that's happened
since"
He is referring to the numbers of Iraqi dead, and as a matter
of arithmetic I understand this argument, indeed must admit
it. He refers also to the dark amazement with which he and,
if my impression is correct, most of the rest of the world
have followed the various doings of the this American admin-
istration, and on this score I again have not the slightest
urge to contradict him. I speak up nonetheless.
"I think it was a big deal," I say, interrupting whatever
somebody is saying.
Matt looks at me for the first time that evening. It's an
awkward moment, because I look right back at him.
Rachel says unexpectedly, "He was there, Matt."
Out of the best intentions and acting as my loyal wife and
Englisher, she wants to accord me a privledged standing ---
that of survivor and eyewitness. I'd feel dishonest to
accept it. I've heard it said that the indiscriminate
nature of the attack transformed all of us on that island
into victims of attempted murder, but I'm not all that sure
that geographic proximity in the catastrophe confers this
status on me or anybody else. Let's not forget that when
it all happened I was rubbernecker in Midtown, watching the
same television images I'd have watched in Madagascar. I
knew only three of the dead, and then only slightly
(though well enough, in one case, to recognize his widow
and his son in the sandpit at Bleecker Playground). And
while it's true that family was displaced for a while,
so what? If ever, out of a wish to appear more interesting
or simply to make conversation, I'm tempted to place myself
closer to those events --- and, perhaps because I work in
the financial world and am easily imagined in a high tower,
some people assume I was closer to them --- I only have to
think of the waving little figures who were visible for a
while and then not.
I say, "That's not my point. I'm just saying. It was a big
deal."
"Well, of course," Matt says, his tone marking me out as a
nitpicker. "I'm not arguing with that."
"Good," I say, with as much abruptness as the situation
allows. "So we're in agreement."
Matt makes a pleasant concessionary face. Someone else
picks up the chatter, and everything goes back to normal.
However, I notice Matt leaning over and out of the corner
of his mouth muttering to one of his neighbors, who mutters
back. There is a secretive exchange of smiles.
For some reason, I am filled with rage.
I lean over to Rachel. I gesture with my eyes, Let's go.
Rachel has not followed what has happened. She looks sur-
prised when I stand up and put on my jacket. It's a sur-
prise for all, since we have not finsihed our roast
chicken.
"Come on, Hans, sit down," Matt says.
"Rachel, talk to him."
Rachel looks at her old friend and then at me. She stands
up. "Oh, piss off, Matt," she says, and waves good-bye to
everyone. It is quite a shocking moment, in the scheme of
things, and exhilarating. When we step out together in the
wet street, holding hands, there is a tang of glory in the
air.
Gratifyingly, Rachel doesn't ask me what exactly transpired.
But in the taxi home, there's an epilogue of sorts: my wife,
mooning out of the window at rainy Regent's Park, says, "God,
do you remember those sirens?" and still looking away, she
reaches for my hand and squeezes it.]




Wrap Your Head Around This:
IM0Kurknot: I heard Will Self talking about how much he likes
and respects Ellis. Which makes sense... they can both be
extremely dark in they idealism.
Creepy Loner: I am not quite wrapping my head around the idealism
you're talking about, IMO...care to go on?
IM0Kurknot: Sure Creepy... both Self and Ellis tend to be
extremely moralistic and their books take on an extremely ironic...
or... well, Swiftian view of the world. Sarcastic and metaphorical.
IM0Kurknot: AMerican Psycho is simply a book about making a
killing... a killing on Wall Street... a killing off of Wall Street
Creepy Loner: [smirks at FoodSlut]


One of those old creepy bald fat guys:
BD Radical84: J. Edgar Hoover or Alfred Hitchcock were to believed
to be homosexual


Quality TV:
Ooolijay: i saw a cops episode once where a homeless guy had a
dufflebag full of rocks he'd collected

Over-Paid:
PatientOnion3: aol pays me to stay in this chatroom and attract
eyes to the ads to the right

One-Night Stands?:
Ooolijay: how the fuck did i end up with 21 buddies

ParaMyrrh's Gig:
PatientOnion3: para, what is your occupation, rumors are spreading
PatientOnion3: giggolo?
PatientOnion3: pawnbroker?
PatientOnion3: crack dealer?
PatientOnion3: wall street banker?
ParaMyrrh: I write Obituaries for Tiger Beat
SemiLitterate: dead rockers, what a gig
ParaMyrrh: last one I did was for Heath Ledger I turned it into
a "Don't Do Drugs" or hang out with the Olsens


NASCAR:
ParaMyrrh: I was just telling Ooolijay has great the end of the
NASCAR race at Bristol was
CordialCactus: para, i wouldn't have guessed you were a watcher
of nascar
SemiLitterate: yup, guy leads 400 somethin laps and
finishes 2nd, sweet
ParaMyrrh: I love short track racing
ThePaIeRlDER: how could thew end of it be any greater then any
other race? the lead car flys past a flag, hardly innovative
CordialCactus: well.. i was happy for edwards and chuckled at
kyle's misfortune
ParaMyrrh: Semi and Kyle Busch angrily bumped Carl Edwards at
the end and Carl slows down then accelerates and knocks Busch
around
ThePaIeRlDER: poor edwards
SemiLitterate: once a punk, always a punk
SemiLitterate: but he can drive, I admit
PatientOnion3: Carl Edwards, the guy who cheated on his cancer wife
drives for nascar?
BinxB91: oh, NOT John Edwards
ParaMyrrh: Carl Edwards won and Kyle Busch was all bitter at
the end instead of being classy and saying, like #3 used to,
"That's racing"
Nishw15: no its the guy who's the voice of Jiminy Cricket
PatientOnion3: can't you spell?
Nishw15: ...no wait a minute, that's Cliff Edwards and he's dead


Sounds Like a Double Entendre:
Anais3233: have you ever seen footage of a giant squid beak?
ThePaIeRlDER: i have seen big squids diving anais
Creepy Loner: I've seen variations on that kind of theme, Anais
...but I'm just down with the tentacles...and with OPP.
Anais3233: do they ever have squid beak vaginas?
ParaMyrrh: who's down with OPP?!
ParaMyrrh: Yeah you know me!


Hostage Situation:
Anais3233: "I HAVE A SQUIDBEAK IN MY VAGINA AND I'M NOT AFRAID
TO USE IT!"
Anais3233: by mistake


Break for Crabs:
Godwit935: NASCAR in Book Shelf. What's next, professional wrestling?
CordialCactus: godwit, i would think that you would appreciate
a certain aspect of nascar.. years ago they would yell, throw thing,
and cuss..you know, manful things.. now the man has them behaving
politically correct


Odds and Ends:

NoraMcKee525: we have a lot of vietnamese baptists here

Anais3233: i bought five pounds of pickling cucumbers

Folklegend Redux: i stopped caring in 1997



Chokable People:

Anais3233: i got the sesame street thing btw
NoraMcKee525: WHAT SESAME STREET THING ANAIS
CordialCactus: there is an old fashioned sesame street
fischer price little people set that anais wants/wanted
NoraMcKee525: on ebay?
CordialCactus: with the chokable people.. way cooler than the
new stuff
DinosoreVagina: she kept bidding on it
CordialCactus: on ebay
Anais3233: i bought the vintage fisher price little people
sesame street clubhouse
Anais3233:and some elmo underwear


Teach Your Children Well:
NoraMcKee525: i made a teacher pull me down the hall on a dolly
NoraMcKee525: she crashed me into the wall


Well I write it and I'M Upset:
Anais3233: BINX i read katy tried, and i'm really upset

Yakkity Yak Yak Yak


BookShelf 2008 = BookShelf 2002
Dickenzian: Sad how this room has declined

Only the Names Have Changed:
ParaMyrrh: alright everyone who wants to see a video of
a woman shoving an aluminum bat up her butt?
Catpower777: Para, I'm sure everyone is clambering for that one


Incestuous Cures:

Prospect26: Beys...I was just sharing my life today.
Sorry I bothered you.
Beysshoes: pros! please don't take offense!
Beysshoes: you aren't bothering us ... okay i shall
light some temple incense for you son pros okay?
Beysshoes: brb (lighting incense)
Hadachoke: no incest here
Beysshoes: bobby .... brb
NoraMcKee525: beys is very slapp-y
Hadachoke: HURT me, BEAT me
Prospect26: Beys...thank you for lighting the incense.
Hopefully, he has gotten some better pain killers by now.
DinosoreVagina: yeah incense does nothing for pain
NoraMcKee525: shoulders heal pretty quickly if they are
kept immobile
DinosoreVagina: so you're saying she should tie him down?


The Finest Lovers:
PatientOnion3: bey has a white guy fetish
Beysshoes: actually its a jewish fetish but don't get
paranoid on me homer.
Beysshoes: jewish men are the finest lovers i think. except
the emotionally arrested ones like our radish
PatientOnion3: all jewish men are homosexual, because of
their oppressive overbearing neurotic mothers,
DinosoreVagina: you know that's the kind of statement that
makes one wonder if you uh... travel extensively
DinosoreVagina: and what exactly you do on vacation


Stupid Guy Interpretation of the News:
Godwit935: I see the Chinee Mooslums want to blow up the Olympics.

Beckett:
DoomGrl: i like when he gets into some really weird thing, like
the guy that moved the stones from one pocket to another and
it takes like 5 pages to describe it

Kelly's Snapper:
WarHorseThor: I bet kelly ripa shaves and has a snapper that
never gets old

People Not Like Us:
DoomGrl: i have an Enid action figure
DoomGrl: from ghost world
DoomGrl: its made by he Necessary Toy Company

So Punny:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I mentioned that he was NOT that old when he
passed away, he actualy died quite Jung....

All-Night Anais:
Anais3233: oh now that i know that annoys you...
Anais3233: i'll be sure to do it ALL night!

Who Knew?:
Godwit935: Ann Coulter is not taken seriously by thinking people.


Anais in the Lunch Room:
Godwit935: Here comes the Chinee Olympic team! 4,200 strong,
including prison laborers.
Anais3233: Listening to Godwit's opinion on anything is absurd.
It's like the babblings of the special ed table in High School.


OK, but about the "LOL":
HadleighUS: Binx, I took my wife to a theatrical production
of "The Moviegoer" and my wife hadn't read the book and was
put off by the part where Binx kicks his landlady's dog and
'sends it yowling'...LOL


Godwit Wins One:
KD81785: Had, Pat conroy is no better and no worse than his raising
HadleighUS: KD8, he has an ex-wife here in Atlanta and they are
apparently still on pretty good terms. She is a lawyer, and last
time I checked worked in a local DA's Office.
BinxB91: Pat Conroy? His Dad was scary
Godwit935: I thought his dad was 95 percent admirable.
BinxB91: The father in The Great Santini was a darling compared to
the actual father
HadleighUS: Binx, I was wondering about that
Godwit935: How do you know, Binx?
BinxB91: I read Conroy's memoir --- My Losing Season
Godwit935: Binx, so you take the son's word for truth.
BinxB91: oh Godwit stfu


Out of Context:
Danmagtom: and its moot... yoss attached it to the garage


You Won't Believe What Women Fake:

BinxB91: Melo, ever fake cry to get something you want?
Melodramamama22: binx, yes. i fake cried to get cheesecake
on friday
BinxB91: who was persuaded to give you cheese cake?
Melodramamama22: no one. i don't fake cry good. my kids
don't care.
Is She Weird 55: cheesecake is nasty
MsVictoriaLynn1: Yes Melo, but cheese cake is worth it
Melodramamama22: i know. i should have made you real cry.
Is She Weird 55: no, i real cry to get what i want
Is She Weird 55: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anais3233: I faked having diarhea, but i still had to go to
the state fair.


Future Pulitzer Winner:
Is She Weird 55: GOD i love kanye west and estelle <333333
Is She Weird 55: if i could date a black fellow, it would
be kanye west
Is She Weird 55: look at this pea coat tell me he's broke

Hillary on 3 Root Beers:
Is She Weird 55: argentina beat australia in FUTBOL
Is She Weird 55: hahhahaa


She'll Never Have Paris
Is She Weird 55: i dont have any desire to go to NYC
Is She Weird 55: i'll be living in the best city in america: chicago
Is She Weird 55: best city in north america: toronto
Is She Weird 55: best city in the world : london
Is She Weird 55: those all have o's in them


Beth Being Bad:
G0BET: I am moving to some place where there is NO PEOPLE
Melodramamama22: snicker
G0BET: I HATE HUMANS
Bethliebner: so your moving to uranus?


The Last to Know:
DinosoreVagina: it's kinda like that tree falls in the woods thing
DinosoreVagina: if you're jam's new lover and you don't notice...
did the tree make a sound
Zenchef2006: i think its more like the fart in the elevator dino
DinosoreVagina: oh, how does that one work zen?
Ooolijay: if i dont' notice the tree probably didn't' do much of anything
Ooolijay: what are you talkin about
Beysshoes: none o' yoh business ooji. we just discussing you.
Ooolijay: k


Always Onion:
PatientOnion3: thor invented penis butter
PatientOnion3: start with an uncircumsized p*nis
DinosoreVagina: so it was nice he donated it to uh..
the food pantry


Pent Up Onion:
PatientOnion3: msg is used exentesively in chinatown because
chefs are too lazy and cheap to make delicious food
PatientOnion3: and hydrogenated fat,,,,,,mmmmmmmmmmm, profit,
oreos can stay on the shelf till christ comes back
Ooolijay: onion has a lot of pent up food anger

[The year was 1955 and the place was a part of western
Connecticut where three swollen villages had lately been
merged by a wide and clamorous highway called Route Twelve.
The Laurel Players were an amateur company,but a costly
and very serious one, carefully recruited from among the
younger adults of all three towns, and this was to be their
maiden production. All winter, gathering in one another's
living rooms for excited talks about Ibsen and Shaw and
O'Neill, and then for a show of hands in which a common-
sense majority chose The Petrified Forest, and then
for preliminary casting, they had felt their dedication
grow stronger every week. They might privately consider
their director a funny little man (and he was, in a way:
he seemed incapable of any but a very earnest manner of
speaking, and would often conclude his remarks with a
little shake of the head that caused his cheeks to wobble).
but they liked and respected him, and fully believed in most
of the things he said. "Any play deserves the best that any
actor has to give," he'd told them once, and another time:
"Remember this. We're not just putting on a play here.
We're establishing a community theater, and that's a pretty
important thing to be doing."
The trouble was that from the beginning they had been
afraid they would end by making fools of themselves, and
they compounded that fear by being afraid to admit it.]


Raisin in the Plum:

Ooolijay: what the hell is spotted dick?
Various704: its a pudding,
Ooolijay: what kind of pudding is that?
Tem o Bedlam: A pudding, steamed, with plums.
Various704: been a while. i think the spots are raisns and stuff
DinosoreVagina: spots?
Zenchef2006: yes various they are
Various704: chef would know better
Ooolijay: i like raisins, but only by themselves
Ooolijay: i dont like to find a raisin hanging out in other food
Ooolijay: like a muffin
Jam7604801: my grandma makes chocolate raisin pie
Ooolijay: i have food texture issues
Ooolijay: so i can't do that
Tem o Bedlam: In the 18th century, raisins were frquently called
plums. I doubt anybody afloat actually used plums in "plum duff."



Here to Unwind:
CordialCactus: but he's bettah now, yes?
Tem o Bedlam: Driving for ten hours with two small children...
and you came HERE to unwind?
PatientOnion3: Where did you get the kids from?


Let Me Do Your Back:
Boogieman1971: any woman with long nails here?
PatientOnion3: boogieman, i have long nails, let me do your back
Beysshoes: ew bunion
Ooolijay: that's just icky
Boogieman1971: ok
Boogieman1971: how long are they?
CordialCactus: scratching backs is the way i file my nails
Zenchef2006: meow cactus!!
Boogieman1971: how long are yours patient?


Ass Kicking to Come:
Ooolijay: wonder if boogieman got his ass kicked in an IM to onion
Ooolijay: he's been pretty quiet
Boogieman1971: no not yet



Toto, I don't think we're in Fleurdelochi anymore:

Tem o Bedlam: It has been widely known what causes kids
for at least 6000 years. Any day, this knowledge will
seep into Kansas.
Fleurdelochi: tem....>smack<
Tem o Bedlam: Ouch...
Fleurdelochi: (i was born in kansas)
PatientOnion3: Dorothy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fleurdelochi: (and my gramma is buried there)
DinosoreVagina: Toto!!
Beysshoes: obama kin!
DinosoreVagina: who's dorothy?
CordialCactus: auntie em!

Trivia Break:
PatientOnion3: what was dorothy's last name?
Fleurdelochi: gale


Lying Older Brothers:
IrishDudeinCa1: i had 9 older brothers i didn't know
chickens had white meat till i left home


Olympic Dreams:
Zenchef2006: well looks like the u.s. still wont get a
gold medal in judo
Zenchef2006: so i still have a chance to get the first one
Jam7604801: Zen do americans really care?
DinosoreVagina: Zen! we're counting on you!
Zenchef2006: well this american does
Tem o Bedlam: Wait a minute! This isn't a medal, it's a MAO button!
DinosoreVagina: I care I care
Zenchef2006: aww shucks dino
Jam7604801: if Zen was in it i would watch dino
Zenchef2006: although if i do make it to the 2012 olympics ill be
the oldest competitor in olympic judo history
DinosoreVagina: sure Jam, sure
DinosoreVagina: Zen, I think they've broken a few age barriers this year
IrishDudeinCa1: Zen and the art of motorcylce maintance



Drunken Revelry With Q-tips:

DinosoreVagina: how drunk are you guys?
Fleurdelochi: not nearly enough
DinosoreVagina: no shit
Various704: just the usual glue for me, dino
CordialCactus: im travelin' tipsy.. slap happy and not
with it.. but not drunk
Beysshoes: candy been drinkin heavy for 3 weeks gina
Fleurdelochi: i was cleaning my keyboard with q-tips
Tem o Bedlam: ::breathalyzing::
DinosoreVagina: figures Various, glue hog
Ooolijay: i'm not drunk
CordialCactus: beys, i wish
DinosoreVagina: you were gone a while Cactus
CordialCactus: i hada margarita once.. and went out with
my brother once..that's about it
DinosoreVagina: did you get lost?



Cheater:
Ooolijay: you have a gun to your head various
Ooolijay: pick a guy
Various704: um, catherine zeta jones in a flase moustache


Jam Ads:
Jam7604801: anyone seen the commercial on tv where ruby tuedays
is apologizing for blowing up some restaurant


Bidet Reflections:
CordialCactus: bidet said to me.. cordial, you seem
nice.. I hate you
PatientOnion3: bidet is a wonderful person if you want to talk
about cooking
CordialCactus: then i said, well hi there.. she said.. stfu
Beysshoes: bidet has no loyalties. she's a drunk. and a mean
drunk. like blt.
PatientOnion3: you just have to know how to talk to texas women
Tem o Bedlam: Bidet is a wonderful person if you remember how
to work "Ignore member..."
Jam7604801: no bey i have a pic of bidet she looks a bit homey
Beysshoes: that's no excuse for meanness jam. lots of gals are ugly


Beys Alone:

Beysshoes: gina you beach. where you at?
Beysshoes: oscar. shaving for his interview.
Beysshoes: tem smoking and coughing.
Beysshoes: onion cooking while honking da bo bo
Various704: here, bey
Tem o Bedlam: <--quit smoking.
Tem o Bedlam: I just cough now.
Tem o Bedlam: To paraphrase Gallileo, they showed me the x rays.


Common Sense:

Jam7604801: dino i don't know either she's not making sense
like Prospect
Beysshoes: pros? is that you?
DinosoreVagina: Jamlady is that you?
Jam7604801: its jambones now
DinosoreVagina: we don't know a jambones, we know a jamlady
Ooolijay: holy fuck
Ooolijay: i'm exhausted now
DinosoreVagina: the typos really take it out of you Ooo
Jam7604801: told ya cybersex would make you tired julie
Ooolijay: no kidding
Various704: yeah, im bushed
Ooolijay: i didn't think it was going to happen
DinosoreVagina: you're all smoking right now aren't you?
Ooolijay: i wish
Jam7604801: yep i am
Jam7604801: just rolled it dino




Stuff Only Beysshoes Knows:

Beysshoes: where is onion?
DinosoreVagina: he's making up a recipe for chicken fingers
Beysshoes: did i hurt him comparing him to bidet like that?
DinosoreVagina: I doubt it
Beysshoes: he's very sensitive gina
Beysshoes: he is.
DinosoreVagina: did you say she cooked better?


We All Need the Human Touch:
Jam7604801: i have muscular fingers
DinosoreVagina: muscular fingers?
Jam7604801: all that mechanic work
DinosoreVagina: ok don't tell us your work out routine
Beysshoes: chicas dont care about the muscularity of mens
fingers jambones



Beth Has Sex:
Bethliebner: the only time im a theist is during sex....lol

Beth Aroused:
Bethliebner: dick
Bethliebner: dick
Dickenzian: Ok, the scroll is slowing down, Beth ain't gonna
get naked, I may as well get horizontal and sleep
Bethliebner: dick
Bethliebner: dick

Carbo Loading Needed:
Jam7604801: i was over at pogo getting hit on then i got
a migraine and had to leave
DinosoreVagina: getting hit on gave you a migraine?
Jam7604801: lack of food dino
Jam7604801: i used all my energy up flirting
DinosoreVagina: that's poor planning jam
DinosoreVagina: why didn't you say, hold that thought and
go grab a snack
Jam7604801: well dino i wasn't planning on staying as long as i did


Couldn't Escape With a Kiss on the Cheek:

MyndlessChat: no, beg than I was little boy
MyndlessChat: I was not allowed to get married
MyndlessChat: even tho many were craving me
MyndlessChat: my whole body
Anais3233: hahahahahaha
Anais3233: sure they were
MsVictoriaLynn1: :-X
Anais3233: your delusions are funny
Treeluva: funny.
Anais3233: keep going
MyndlessChat: I had sex with lots of old aunties
LadyQuasi: Nice restraint, Vic
MyndlessChat: distant relative aunties...

People Not Getting Federal Funding:
Melodramamama22: maybe menses paintings are done w/ the
blood of the people who got near the one who was pms'ing?
Anais3233: but that's one frugal ass bitch using menstrual
blood instead of paint.
Anais3233: she might be related to onion


Gotta be Quick:
Palmbeachtimes48: anyone actually talking about books
ThePaIeRlDER: nobody palm!
Beysshoes: palm. wednesdays are for book chatting.
MsVictoriaLynn1: no Palm, never, Don't feel bad, I made that
mistake too
ThePaIeRlDER: monday is sex talk!
Beysshoes: unless you want to pay extra dues.
Palmbeachtimes48: lol oh well
SemiLitterate: We relapse, but you gotta be lucky & quick
ThePaIeRlDER: we are talkin bush and weenar!
Glomawr: <--------have paid my dues for the year
RabbleYale: QPB is a good book club
Glomawr: good thru 12/31
RabbleYale: been a member for over 4 years ....no problems
Questing46: Oh. Dues. I have never paid. Guess I'd better leave.
Glomawr: wait Quest.....I am the collector
Glomawr: that will be ...........uh.............$50
Glomawr: you can send it by PayPal


He Thinks He's Flirting:
Dickenzian: Beth are you in Pennsylvania?
Bethliebner: i am


Very Reformed Jews:
Beysshoes: rabbi. pls bless our chatroom yes?
RabbleYale: im a rabble , not a rabbi 8-)
Beysshoes: we don't make those distinctions in here rabbi
Glomawr: rabbit not a rabble
Beysshoes: you went to yale. good enough.


Beth Breaking Out:
Bethliebner: do you guys want to have a party on january 16?
ThePaIeRlDER: beth, is it casual?
Bethliebner: isnt that the day of the inauguration of the new president
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister what have you doneeeeeeeeeeee
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister your the only one
SemiLitterate: Billy Idol?
RabbleYale: y u h , semi
Bethliebner: hey little sister whos the only one
Glomawr: used to be good bourbon.......not sure if they still make it
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister whose yer superman hey little sister
NoraMcKee525: ::pumping fist in air::
ThePaIeRlDER: whose the one ya want
SemiLitterate: Ancient Age
Dickenzian: Ever play volleyball in a bikini Beth?
Bethliebner: its a nic day for a white wedding
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister shotgun
Bethliebner: im a nudist
ThePaIeRlDER: beth your my kinda woman
ThePaIeRlDER: busty and nude


Nora Being Coy:
Beysshoes: nora! your candycanecanola is back!
DinosoreVagina: Nora is still coming down from the high
Beysshoes: i told her how you made us talk about her every night nora
NoraMcKee525: i did NOT beys


Beysshoes' Best Fantasy:
Dickenzian: I need coffee. Bey get me coffee
Beysshoes: here fezz. have some o' dis...
Dickenzian: ?
MsVictoriaLynn1: sheesh... I went and got my own, if I'd known
Beys was pouring, I'd have stayed
Beysshoes: (that was hot tea dropped on yoh lap. solly)



OMG! Beys being playful!:

Beysshoes: les. i was being playful last night. pls don't
get all hurt and sulky.
Catpower777: what did you do to Onion, Bey?
Beysshoes: you know i love you. don't make me telephone yoh ass now.
Beysshoes: just joshing wid da boy cat
Beysshoes: calling him a socio like bidet was all. cat. too much?
Catpower777: lol Bey...ya think?
NoraMcKee525: um...just a smidge
Beysshoes: i waz aksing cat nora.
NoraMcKee525: haha
Beysshoes: hehehe
NoraMcKee525: i loves when beys slaps me
Beysshoes: now nora. dats all okay? ya know i only seriously
bruise up boys.



Odds and Ends:

MsVictoriaLynn1: I sent my daughter to school with an
autographed photo of Vince Gill

Zenchef2006: my mother has a wicked backhand and wears lots of rings

Boulshevit: Some of us were born in the Soviet Empire.....
what can you do..I'm drun

TacoDreamMachine: I just ate a plum the size of a hail stone

Melodramamama22: i was fired from a Shonies in college for refusing
to wear a hairnet

CordialCactus: i have one big asshat box

PatientOnion3: i bought french plums and they were juicy like you

Ooolijay: jesus i've been sitting here too long.
my ass is cramping up

EDruezillaB: My friend just broke an egg on my head



Play the Tongue:
Creepy Loner: I think that I'd look great with a spikey
heavy-metal guitar.
Creepy Loner: I'd make obscene gestures with my tongue while playing it...
Creepy Loner: Like Nigel Tufnel.

Out of Coffee, so ...:
MsVictoriaLynn1: <--- getting naked again... screw the coffee


Food Snot:
Creepy Loner: [sneeze]
Creepy Loner: Good lord...that had so much power that a booger
shot right on to my monitor.
Creepy Loner: It landed on FoodSlut's name...


Disrespecting the Olsons and Others:
Ooolijay: i would eat bob saget's giblets
HelenaHandbagg: lol mary kate and ashley were going to be here
but they heard there was going to be food hahahaha
MsVictoriaLynn1: they ar both anorexic, and have been reduced to
eating each other
HelenaHandbagg: seven words you can never hear on television "and
the emmy goes to bob saget"

Disrespecting Mary Tyler Moore:
Bethliebner: according to cloris leechman when mary tyler moore
had an orgasm she threw her hat in the air
ThePaIeRlDER: shes gonna make it on her own!!

A Guy Thing:
ThePaIeRlDER: i broke my fingure this morning putting up
storm shutters
ThePaIeRlDER: then i banged a 4 inch gash in my head an hour
ago stupidly
ThePaIeRlDER: its still oozing
HelenaHandbagg: you banged a four inch gash?
ThePaIeRlDER: the old lady is raggin me ta get stitches
Tammynet: shouldn't you go to the er or something
ThePaIeRlDER: but i dnr want my head shaved
DinosoreVagina: suffer for your art
Ooolijay: rider i think a shaved head at this point is the least of
your problems
ThePaIeRlDER: an er visit is easily a grand
ThePaIeRlDER: i have no ins

Don't Mess With Leonard:
Heathclf67: my nephew Leonard once talked about using the washer
to clean his boy friend's cat, but he didn't do it.

The Elusive Beth:
Dickenzian: And there goes Beth, ignoring me again


Singing the Tale:

Heathclf67: My late wife, Catherine, sometimes made disparaging
remarks about fag hags.
Heathclf67: I told her I thought she was being unking.
Heathclf67: unkind, that is.
EmpressZ21: it's me im cathy ive come home love im so cold
EmpressZ21: let me in your window
Heathclf67: cold?
Heathclf67: must not be in the U.S.
EmpressZ21: well yes cold
EmpressZ21: out on the winding windy moors
EmpressZ21: i was singing the tale
Heathclf67: My mama was real fond of the Brontes
Heathclf67: I considered it pretty much a burden when I was a youngun

HE Works in Mysterious Ways:
Dickenzian: Bey is here, God hates me


God is Dead, Might as well chat:
Dickenzian: "God is dead"--Nietzche
Dickenzian: "If Nietzche is right, there is an opening at the
very top"-Cheney
MsVictoriaLynn1: "Nietzche is dead and Cheney is asking for
it..." God
Charmngbilly2: Nietzche would have been more effective if he hadn't
gone nuts and was arrested for arguing with a mule in the middle of
some street in a Bavarian village


Spell Chezsck:

Ooolijay: okay you guys are driving me nuts with this
Ooolijay: it's spelled nietzsche
Ooolijay: your'e forgetting the s
BD Radical84: lalalalala
Ooolijay: i tried to ignore it i really did
Hadachoke: damn krauts....
Summers Eve L: Kneetshe
MsVictoriaLynn1: YES! Julie finally found her Nietszche...:)
Summers Eve L: Neatche
Charmngbilly2: we're using the pinyin variant LOL
Hadachoke: ya mean Pidgin
Tem o Bedlam: Kinda like watching the French spell Shostakovich...
It just PISSES YOU OFF, after a while...
Dickenzian: Nietzche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you
stronger," Of course, they didn't have land mines back then
Ooolijay: dick...yer killin me


Dick, Your Straight Line Is Here:
MsVictoriaLynn1: <--- my mom didn't raise any idiot...;-)
Dickenzian: You ever find your mother?
Tem o Bedlam: You're an orphan?

Monk Reflects:
DinosoreVagina: what's the best question you've ever gotten?
JimJones912: vaginia, i couldn't say

Beth Excited:
Bethliebner: is anyone excited that beverly hills 90210 is
coming back on?


"I almost said fuck but ...":

Ooolijay: send me a list of good movies
Ooolijay: email
JimJones912: oooli, i have them listed on my mayor mccheese
myspace profile
JimJones912: some of them
Ooolijay: i dont know how to get to that
Ooolijay: and will forget anyway
Ooolijay: just email them
JimJones912: i'd need a picture first
Ooolijay: i told you i dont have one
JimJones912: i reciprocate, never initiate
JimJones912: i did jesse jackson there
Ooolijay: yes you did
JimJones912: then i don;t have a list!
JimJones912: n't
Ooolijay: i almost said fuck you but that made me laugh


Not to be Ironic:
BinxB91: Jim/Monk, what book would you order if you were in
prison and could be allowed only one book a year?
JimJones912: not to be ironic or whatever, but probably crime
& punishmentBD
Radical84: "How to Get out of Jail for Dummies"
MsVictoriaLynn1: Binx... I'd order the OED, it has all the other
books in English in it

Please, test your theory:
Ooolijay: para you do not look like you can take a punch

Afraid to Peek:
HelenaHandbagg: there's a racoon on my roof... or it's a psycopath
with a chainsaw... i'm afraid to peek

I am a fool. At this point, if I were a scrupulous
civil servent, I'd resign. If I were a Japanese Admiral,
I'd commit seppuku. If I were a Kellogg's Corn Flake,
I'd be recalled. It's like this: I was totally
taken in by MyndlessChat the last few weeks and
thought he was Rono. I should have known better.
Especially when he started crying WAAAAAAUUUUHHHHHH.
I wanted to cry at some point.
Since this is just a stupid blog, I won't disembowel
myself. I will go on.
I did have a lot of fun posting this week even if
it's not entirely funny. I even included some fake Rono
clips --- more fun than the real Rono.


Chocolate Leads to Excess Adjectives:
WildCIAagent: brb I am getting chocolate.
CordialCactus: what kind of chocolate?
WildCIAagent: Hershey's Extra Dark pure dark chocolate

Variation of Your Mama Joke:
ShadowPhtm: my sister's cat is so fat that when she is on
the sofa it reminds me of the movie "The Blob"


Vice Squad:

CordialCactus: i was asked this question recently and could
not come up with an answer that satisfied me..
CordialCactus: What is your biggest vice?
NoraMcKee525: and?
CordialCactus: and.. i was posing it to you all
CordialCactus: out of nosiness
CordialCactus: and self reflection
OregonDuckHunter: biggest vice = negativity
NoraMcKee525: oh...well, YOU are my bigest vice
CordialCactus: Ha! my dreams have all come true
CordialCactus: im a vice
OregonDuckHunter: i'm too much of a glass 1/2 full type
CordialCactus: wouldnt that be half empty, duck?
OregonDuckHunter: exactly
DinosoreVagina: a half empty duck?
OregonDuckHunter: thats my 2nd vice---ignorance
NoraMcKee525: hmm..guitar hero, alice white lexia (2 for $12),
chocolate fudge poptarts...dr pepper
NoraMcKee525: is there a word limit here?
EmpressZ21: grocery list nora?
CordialCactus: lol no.. feel free to ramble, its cleansing
CordialCactus: no.. the question is.. whats your biggest vice
DinosoreVagina: this room
CordialCactus: i would say this room
EmpressZ21: smoking coffee you people
EmpressZ21: i didnt even have to think about that oh and
coca cola
DinosoreVagina: coffee isn't a vice
OregonDuckHunter: whats your vice Cactus
NoraMcKee525: court tv...margaritas rocks and salt..bath
and body works
NoraMcKee525: sour patch kids...gadgets
NoraMcKee525: colored post-it notes...
CordialCactus: duck.. my vice ...
NoraMcKee525: skee-ball (which should be an olympic sport)

The Wireless Hot Spot:
ShadowPhtm: the wireless hotspot there is no longer
functioning properly and it messes up my trivia game on
wednesday nights
ShadowPhtm: Dino I went there for dinner and then i played a
trivia game at the bar while consuming mass quantities of
Bread and merlot
NoraMcKee525: omg bread and merlot..unbuttoned the pants right
there at the bar, hunh?
DinosoreVagina: so it's a bar, with wireless... nice


Maybe Her Biggest Vice:
CordialCactus: well.. ive almost quit smoking
CordialCactus: the only thing holding me back is i dont want to
quit before my husband does.. it doesn't seem fair.. which now
that i type it sounds really stupid
CordialCactus: my biggest vice is indecision
CordialCactus: yeah
CordialCactus: maybe



Odds and Ends:

Bethliebner: did anyone else hear about the woman who died while
in the elevator?

BlDET: i am not retarded.

DoomGrl: Miley Cyrus claims that she is not a skank

PatientOnion3: you need to chill

Summers Eve L: I love Itchy & Scratchy such senseless happy violence.

Various704: uk rooms suck

Dickenzian: Getting mad dog mean in the politcial chat rooms

Prospect26: I hve constructed a web around my body,

NoraMcKee525: i hate those huggie things!!

Pablo Bigasso: The women in the Spanish soap operas all look
like they're wearing clothes from 1958.




The Fake Rono:
MyndlessChat: before I used to think naguala is the bad one...
but this room can make any sane person insane...
MyndlessChat: you all made naguala a hateful person...because
all of you are stupids
Ooolijay: we're all stupids?
Ooolijay: ha
MyndlessChat: none of you can open up your minds just to bit
to respect others opinions...


ParaMyrrh and the Fake Rono:
ParaMyrrh: I don't vote either not part of the voting cattle
MyndlessChat: the guy at the NY DMV looked at me weird
MyndlessChat: "how can you not want to vote!"
MyndlessChat: his eyes were big!!
MyndlessChat: like ping pon ball
Ooolijay: my eyes are big


Leslie Is Not Done:
LeslieHapablap: creepy loner, you are not on my buddy list.
i feel sad.
Creepy Loner: I've blocked everyone, killed my e-mail, and
trashed my profile.
Creepy Loner: I'm done.
LeslieHapablap: you are not done with me!


The Sunshine Hobbyist:
Creepy Loner: Although my hair's become a bit lighter...
but I've been profoundly bored with the world and taken up
the hobby of ripping apart my yard while the sun is out.
Creepy Loner: That might be playing a role.


Metaphor of the Month:
LeslieHapablap: paramyrrh, i am sorry you have a colostomy bag
of a heart.

Bidet - Still So Misunderstood:
ParaMyrrh: I know Bidet she's my friend I admire her. She is
a good person with a great heart
NoraMcKee525: yes, her greeting of "stfu" just oozes rainbows
and butterflies

Probably Got the FBI:
Various704: i had a friend who called up the hoover helpline and
stated he was a butcher and demanded to know if one of their
machines would suck the skin off a sausage. they hung up on him.


Beysshoes Getting Her Silly On:
Beysshoes: A late night plea:
Onion please don't abandon us for long.
Beysshoes: We are lost without you.
Beysshoes: Peeps are threatening to leave and search for
another chatroom.
Beysshoes: Creepy is nearly in rigor posturing in grief over the
loss of you.
Beysshoes: Even Binky misses you.
Beysshoes: I've found Mauai and even he says he'll sashay his
grass skirted buns back if only you'll return to us.
Beysshoes: Love, Bey
Beysshoes: P.S. Godwit has boycotted McLaughlin Group as a testament
of his undying love for you.
Beysshoes: Baby come back.

Starved for Conversation With Onion Gone:
Anais3233: who wants to see my new bike?
Beysshoes: that sounds too cool. yes anais!!! YEA!



Special Hoohaa Soap:
Creepy Loner: Binx thinks I'm...dirty?
NoraMcKee525: i think you're a doll and i would love to pet you
BinxB91: well, Creeps, you may not be dirty. But you're
not squeaky clean either.
Creepy Loner: Fair enough, Binx...I do draw a line at rubbing
my skin raw....
Creepy Loner: Well, usually. [wink]
Creepy Loner: Perhaps Binx is right. I generally do a
"once-over" kinda job...with soap, of course.
Creepy Loner: That's about it, though.
Anais3233: do you use special hoohaa soap?
NoraMcKee525: creeps do you use that nonlathering zen shampoo?
Creepy Loner: No, Nora...I use some grease-killing lemon shampoo.
Fleurdelochi: i remember lemon fresh cooch

[Martine walked back into the kitchen, dusting off her hands,
and she picked up another carton. I said, "Martine?" and she
said "What?", and I said, "How happily I think on thee."
"Huh?", she said.
But I could tell she knew what I meant.]



Quote Me Hard:
BinxB91: Empress is fucking freaking? hehe
Anais3233: binx swore? ::giggle::
BinxB91: Anais, I was quoting
Anais3233: yes, but you were rubbing your nipples when you were
quoting it


Excess Estrogen:

Dickenzian: Wow, lot of estrogen in here
MsVictoriaLynn1: Empress is Freaking, Fleur is Swearing... Dogs
and Cats living together, TOTAL ANARCHY
Dickenzian: I need golashes
BinxB91: No Thor, No ParaMyrrh, No Onion
Fleurdelochi: onion is more feminine than i am most of the time



ParaMyrrh Being Bad:
Beysshoes: para is IMg me with porn binx
ParaMyrrh: Anais everyone's mad at me because I sent them a short
film titled "Brush Yo Teeth With My Dick, Bitch!"
Catpower777: wait, I'm mad because you didn't send it to me


Out of the Blue:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I actually had someone IM me out of the blue once
with "ON YOUR KNEES BITCH"
BinxB91: try to be happy


Because Leslie Will Believe Anything:
LeslieHapablap: who is bidet?
Beysshoes: jello jilly's cousin



Forever ParaMyrrh:
Catpower777: night
ParaMyrrh: Cat don't forget to Brush Yo Teeth!


The Mysterious Catpower:
Dickenzian: You punks drove Mizzzcat out
Dickenzian: tsk tsk tsk
Beysshoes: cat doesn't tolerate urinal fezz
ParaMyrrh: Cat didn't leave because of Bidet
Dickenzian: Para, tell us about Cat
BinxB91: Para speaks for catpower
Beysshoes: shut up david.
Dickenzian: Go on

Cat's Got Her Tongue:
MsVictoriaLynn1: Cat is VERY sweet
Dickenzian: Who left to be adored by millions?
ParaMyrrh: I only have good things to say about her So I can't
really speak them in a chat room
BlDET: i hope she left because of the sneak attack on me
Dickenzian: Who left to pray the rosary?
BinxB91: sneak attack??? what a whiner
BlDET: they were trying to get rid of cat?
BlDET: oh my
BlDET: how mean
BlDET: how nasty
BlDET: CAT?
ParaMyrrh: Cat is a sweet woman Kind And very courageous it
takes class and courage to be gentle and kind to everyone



Bidet and the Frat Boys:
BinxB91: Bidet's drunk again
BlDET: drunk?
BlDET: i don't drink
BlDET: why pick on me?
BlDET: i just came in to say hello to my friend, kal
Dickenzian: You don't drink?
Dickenzian: Well, that leaves retarded
Dickenzian: She types well for a retard
Fleurdelochi: y'all let me know when the shit settles.
i'ma play solitaire


Name One:
BlDET: there are bible stories about people like you
BlDET: cautionary tales
BinxB91: The Book of Job?


Bidet Going All Moonie:

BlDET: ms vic probably has an artistic soul and a good sense of humor
BlDET: it comes with not fitting in
Beysshoes: bidet being a predator knows who to leave alone. lol
MsVictoriaLynn1: but I am also properly medicated Bidet...LOL
BlDET: what kind of medication?
BlDET: for what?
MsVictoriaLynn1: and I thank you for that Bidet
BlDET: you're medicated because of me?
Dickenzian: Bidet, I'd love to help you out. How did you come in?
BlDET: butt out, dick
MsVictoriaLynn1: Channelling Groucho Marx Dick?
Dickenzian: Get out of my living room Bidet
Dickenzian: You Erma Bombeck clone
Fleurdelochi: oh, c'mon....bombeck was kinda funny
Dickenzian: I didn't like you in 1983
Dickenzian: I like you less now
Anais3233: Someone's on crack here.. wtf is going on tonight?



Binx TOS'ed:

ParaMyrrh: Bey I know Bidet she's my friend I admire her
She is a good person with a great heart
Beardown100: Is Para perverted too
Beysshoes: para you're not a good judge of character. or characterlessness
Dickenzian: If her heart was only as big as her ass
BinxB91: a good person with a great heart?? I bet you say that
to all the fag hags
Beysshoes: binx!
Beysshoes: O
Fleurdelochi: binx >frowning< that is a perjorative term
Dickenzian: Beys don't flash that here
Dickenzian: get a room
Beysshoes: shut up fezz


Dickenzian and High Standards:
Dickenzian: Leave this room for a few months and the cockroaches
think they own it


Prospect as Catalyst:

Prospect26: Beys...i am once again headed to Mexico . I am
determined to be somewhat fluent. And audio suggestions that
I can find at my library
Beysshoes: oh pros. that's so exciting. i'm happy for you chica.
Beysshoes: pros zen is very fluent in spanish.
Prospect26: Zen...you are fluent in Spanish?
Zenchef2006: mas o menos prospect
Beysshoes: zen pros needs tutoring
Zenchef2006: beys, are you litterate in spanish too?
Beysshoes: NO zen. i only learned spanish to bitch in chat
without getting tossed
Beysshoes: i also learned russian and hebrew for those purposes zen
Beysshoes: oh and japanese(binx is trynna teach me)
Zenchef2006: i can say "cheers" in about 12 languages
Beysshoes: oh i only know filthy stuff.
Zenchef2006: stop turning me on beys!!



The Chatless Chat:
Beysshoes: cat ... tem has gone to another book chat. sigh
Catpower777: there is another book chat?
Beysshoes: yah a private one. i tried but nobody would talk with me cat


Imgining a Bad cactus:

Beysshoes: nora what happed to candy?
Catpower777: Bey, she's in the boonies
Catpower777: and desperate for email
NoraMcKee525: she is housesitting in illinois
Beysshoes: so shes housesitting and cannot chat? candy that is?
NoraMcKee525: yes beys i don't understand it all, but she can
access email
Beysshoes: nora, i hope she knows about the nannycams and we
don't see her nekkid ass lolling about the internet next week
Beysshoes: drinking marguaritas
Beysshoes: trynna trap da pizza delivery boys
Zenchef2006: bow chicka wow wow!! beys
Catpower777: I think you got him all hot and bothered, Bey
Zenchef2006: my attempt at bad 70's porno music theme


Prospect Never Learns:
Prospect26: Anyone interested in what's going on in my life?
DinosoreVagina: who what when how and why
DinosoreVagina: tick tock
Catpower777: you left out where, Dino
DinosoreVagina: intentionally
DinosoreVagina: it will eliminate liability
Beysshoes: pros! put down da glass and talk to us!


Hazardous Pillow Fights:

Prospect26: Beys...my son had shoulder yesterday in CA...
I am in NH. I wanted to fly out there but he was adamant.
His girlfriend is a nursing student,
DinosoreVagina: a shoulder? he lost one today?
Beysshoes: are you sure 'twas his shoulder pros? mebbe he
didn't want you to go see what really happed?
Prospect26: Beys...he has dislocated his shoulder many times.
He is a snowboarder. He is a waiter and cannot lift his
trays. He cannot hi-5 or have a pillow fight with his
girlfriend without the shoulder coming out.
Beysshoes: sheesh pros. no hi-5? that will make for a
ruggged life (in arenas that shouldn't concern a mother
tho yes?) oof
DinosoreVagina: you've seen him pillow fight with his girlfriend?
DinosoreVagina: and he lives alone?
Beysshoes: give us his addy pros. me, cat, and gina will go
to him and make him all better. okay?
DinosoreVagina: can't we just go to jamaica and light a candle
for him beys?
Beysshoes: you ruderies. his mama is here so worried ya
selfish beach.
Beysshoes: okay. cat just voted. jamaica and da candle wins

Which Reminds Para:
ParaMyrrh: I have a video of a lady with six large candles
shoved up her hootie lit






Tne Boys ...:

Ooolijay: i'm just in an awful mood
ThePaIeRlDER: julie when im in a bad mood.............
I GET NAKED AND WEBCAM!
ThePaIeRlDER: the problem i encounter though is someone to
webcam me back!
Ooolijay: perhaps a good poop would do the trick
ParaMyrrh: yeah
ThePaIeRlDER: sometimes a good shit is relieving
ParaMyrrh: A good bowel movement is heavenly
ParaMyrrh: can brighten any day
ThePaIeRlDER: unless its real hard and dosnt want to exit
DinosoreVagina: it's amazing what people agree on
Hadachoke: oh no, not poop chat again



More Fake Rono:

MyndlessChat: let's see who else I hate
MyndlessChat: binx
Beysshoes: binx isn't here rono
MyndlessChat: binx's real aname is something like david calghan?
MyndlessChat: binx's personality is like MURDOCK
MyndlessChat: hada is more of a hitler
Beysshoes: no rono. binx's real name is neil cameron.
MyndlessChat: and I myself is like JESUS



What a Concept:
Ooolijay: would you like a hug myndless
Beysshoes: ooji, make sure you wear a body condom


Fake Rono and the Cute Wahine:
MyndlessChat: I have been ignoring bey since it started to come
to this room...which is about three years
Beysshoes: ty so much rono
Beysshoes:
MyndlessChat: but everytime it comes to the room it atleast
mentions my name 20 times


Assertiveness Through Font:

Tallthinjones: julie, beef up the font and assert yourself a
little here, you can't be downtrodden
Ooolijay: better?
MsVictoriaLynn1: indeed Julie, buck up, stiff upper lip and all
that sort of thing
Ooolijay: oh, i like that
Tallthinjones: that's so ity bitty i need a telescope to read it
Ooolijay: okay hold on
Ooolijay: this?
Tallthinjones: i'm going to need Hubble to read you
Ooolijay: you can't read this?
Ooolijay: it's the same font as before
Tallthinjones: only Bey is smaller
MsVictoriaLynn1: try stiffening your LOWER lip, now imagine how
silly you look right now
Ooolijay: can you read this or not?
Tallthinjones: yes, doll
Ooolijay: okay
DinosoreVagina: what happened to oolijay?
Tallthinjones: she's become bold and overbearing


Still More Fake Rono:
MyndlessChat: oneday , when I was in NY, I went to the bronx zoo:
and we were all watching this chimp and we were all luaghing at
it...all of us were men
MyndlessChat: suddenly, a woman came to see what's going on...the
chimp put its finger in its rectum
MyndlessChat: and try to throw the percious thing at her...
MyndlessChat: even animals hate women


Randy Zen:
NoraMcKee525: i love me some tofutti cuties
Zenchef2006: is that my new nickname nora?


Fake Rono Never Ends:
MyndlessChat: in this room, only one man here
Ooolijay: i dont' know
MyndlessChat: I AM THE ONLY MAN HERE
MyndlessChat: rest of you are women!!!!!
KateTheWench: Mynd- is this a problem?
MyndlessChat: I feel suffocared
MyndlessChat: kate, I don't feel comforatable with dumb creatures
Hadachoke: you're suffofucked, myndless
Cigarfreak99: sorry ..I am Bill NOT Monica





CreepyLoner Appropriately Vomits:

WarHorseThor: I have drank enough beer that I nailed a raccoon
DinosoreVagina: the racoon didn't drink enough beer to consent
WarHorseThor: the raccon was already dead
Beysshoes: was it good james?
WarHorseThor: a little sloppy
Beysshoes: you shoulda waited til the rigor set in
Creepy Loner: [vomits]


How Not to Write a Singles Ad:
Beysshoes: what do you do please?
Beysshoes: too nosey?
Tem o Bedlam: Cough, mostly. I'm coming up on my 59th birthday.
Tem o Bedlam: Not that I'm not a hunk and amazingly literate...


She Handed Twenty Dollars for a $2.50 Fare:
Tem o Bedlam: I did know the Chapin brothers, back when I was
in high school.
Beysshoes: i kissed harry on the mouth!!! !
Tem o Bedlam: My then group opened for 'em once.
Beysshoes: omg! ! !
Beysshoes: i adored harry.
Beysshoes: a d o r e d


Hook Up With Thor?:
Tem o Bedlam: We played that about 1966. My assumption is we went
to well deserved oblivion.
Beysshoes: pls don't diminish your artistic gift like that tem.
Beysshoes: if you made it that big, you had gifts.
Beysshoes: now, you're prolly just drinking too much yes?
Beysshoes: hook up with thor. he needs help with his playing.


Beysshoes Can Take It:

WarHorseThor: I cant have an opinion?
Beysshoes: pay up first please
WarHorseThor: or, I can, as long as it is approved by you?
Beysshoes: no. its cover charge james
WarHorseThor: how about, fuck you too?
Beysshoes: wow. that stung. hard.
WarHorseThor: fat chink
Beysshoes: phat is the polite term.
WarHorseThor: chink, when I want to hear from you, I will order
a beer and pat you on your fat ass
Beysshoes: again, phat is the proper term
WarHorseThor: phat, is not a word
Beysshoes: yes 'tis james.
WarHorseThor: maybe in thailand
Beysshoes: nope. "baby phat"
Beysshoes: you are so unhip
Beysshoes: you're like emma. poor thang you.
Tem o Bedlam: I kinda like the Baby Phat, at Phatburger...
Over priced though.
WarHorseThor: you're like emma's feces
Beysshoes: wow. sharp one.


Beysshoes Giving Encouragement:
Tem o Bedlam: I drink too much... For some reason, the me that
comes out is capable of courtesy and decency.
Beysshoes: well, you're not a sociopath prolly.



Didn't Know She Knew Those Words:
Bethliebner: whos the bitch and whos the butch in that relationship


Phezz Teaches Beys About Chicago Politics:
Dickenzian: Well, they got him in ahead of Clinton and have
been donating millions in $10 increments under the names of
homeless and dead guys. What more do you want them to do Beys?



Beating Up Beysshoes:
FoodSIut: chubby checker/ do the no twist
FoodSIut: and it goes like this
Beysshoes: onion guess who i got today at borders?
FoodSIut: a date with binky?
Beysshoes: PYNCHON!
FoodSIut: he works there
Beysshoes: he's at b&n
Beysshoes: stoopid
FoodSIut: pynchon is way over your tiny brain
Dickenzian: And now Beys is off like a ball rolled by a kitten
FoodSIut: pynchon writes meta-fiction
Dickenzian: Lord Lord
Beysshoes: i know. but you can help me homer
Beysshoes: shut up fezz.




Nora's Break-Through:
NoraMcKee525: i figured out how to put a jukebox thing on myspace
NoraMcKee525: it only took 5 hours
FoodSIut: nora, you are THIRTY-EIGHT, you are out of the myspace
demographic



Godwit's Stamp of Approval:

Ooolijay: who is fezz?
Beysshoes: sigh
Creepy Loner: Dick = Fezz.
FoodSIut: fezz is one of the founders of this vapid chatroom
Ooolijay: what's wrong with him again?
Dickenzian: <-----Fezziwhig
Ooolijay: he seems okay to me
Godwit935: Dick is a normal, decent American man, as far as I know.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Fagan
NoraMcKee525: pfft
Beysshoes: ooji, uhm you like rono so ...


Godwit Standards:
Beysshoes: godwit, do you know the bloggers don't know who
charlie rose is ???
Godwit935: Sure, Beys, most of the people in here are ignorant.
Beysshoes: no not here in the chat ... the bookshelf blog godwit
Godwit935: Well, Beys, you can't be the brightest bulb, reading a
blog about this place.


Next Time, Skip Jack 'n the Box:
Dickenzian: I went to the gas station, drycleaners, and super market
today, Godwit, and I'm out almost $300
Godwit935: I know what you mean, Dick. That is what Obama should be
all about, somehow getting more money in the pocket of the
workingman.
Beysshoes: i went to the bookstore, jack in the box ... i'm out 150


Block That Metaphor:
Godwit935: Obama IS more sizzled than steak. He has to get to
brass tacks, and be quick about it.

More Frat Boy Humor:
MsVictoriaLynn1: Dick... go to the A&E Website and check "Cities
of the Underworld"... its pretty fascinating
Dickenzian: Mizz Vick go subterranean yourself


Binx On the Brain:

Bbrolia: Its going to be cool and a nice night to sleep.
Beysshoes: oh bbrolia you sound like binx
Beysshoes: Bb you're interesting where are you?
Bbrolia: I am in OHIO which means good morning ..
Beysshoes: binx you think that's funny?
NoraMcKee525: binx?
Beysshoes: here i was hoping against hope you were onion.
Beysshoes: i think bb is binx nora
Bbrolia: I dont think Im Binx.
ThePaIeRlDER: beys, dont quit yer day job, you aint gonna make
it as a psychic




What's My Line:
Bbrolia: I am a verb!!!
Beysshoes: Bb are you truly verb???
Bbrolia: Yes Bey And I have no choice.
Beysshoes: okay, since we're not in the deux mebbe we can be
friendly yes?
Bbrolia: I have to brush my tooth and go to bed
Beysshoes: BB?
Beysshoes: are you tracee?
ThePaIeRlDER: jesus beys




Jaded Beys:
Jam7604801: bey we had people here
Jam7604801: onion was here for a bit i think
Beysshoes: when do you get to the interesting part jam?
did interesting even hap?
Jam7604801: we talked books
Beysshoes: liar! i dunt believe that jam
Glomawr: what book?
Jam7604801: we did
Jam7604801: at least until onion came in
Beysshoes: HE knows that's not permitted in here jam.



Double Identities:
Jam7604801: and oolijay is jadeddremor
Beysshoes: NOPE jam
Beysshoes: not the same julie
Jam7604801: yep bey
Beysshoes: NOLO
Jam7604801: yes
Beysshoes: ask bobby you ass
Beysshoes: peeps are putting you on jam
Jam7604801: its a old name bey
Jam7604801: she added a o
Beysshoes: whatever. i don't care what you believe
DinosoreVagina: it's not the same julie Jam
Jam7604801: well dino we will see i know how julie and her
names are
Beysshoes: jam stop it. peeps were putting you on ... whoever
was telling you that.
DinosoreVagina: well Jam it won't make even a small difference
to me since I don't honestly care.. however they're two
different people.
Jam7604801: me either dino but i was here 4 years ago i know
Beysshoes: jam. bobby lived with julie. he should know better
than you . so stop it.
Jam7604801: just took me a tonight and alittle questioning to
figure it out
DinosoreVagina: jam...
Various704: im really dino, dino is really bey, bey is really cat.
who is sometimes yoss who pretends to be dan and we are all in
cahoots. just to confuse jam. our nefarious plan has worked.
Jam7604801: beys they still play games


Coincidence:
Beysshoes: he has an exaggerated sense of self.
DinosoreVagina: who's that beys?
DinosoreVagina: teflon jam?
MistressLesty: fucker, that's the name of my friend's new guinea pig
Beysshoes: oh lesty how interesting. tx for sharing that tidbit




Unclear On the Concept:
DinosoreVagina: rono should be put on a greyhound to canada and
given an ipod
DinosoreVagina: just a thought
Various704: can i get on that bus?
Beysshoes: gina. canada is our friend.
DinosoreVagina: sure, but bring a rain slicker
Beysshoes: shame on you chica



You Don't Know About Beys:
PatientOnion3: do you guys talk this way about bin laden behind
his back too?
Beysshoes: oscar, i had a bf that looked egg sackly like
him. gross out.
DinosoreVagina: that is alarming beys
Beysshoes: he was a dark scotsman...backwoods man. yah gina!
Beysshoes: very very tall like that gina. (in my defense)
Beysshoes: lordy i was nuts about him


Politically and Sexcually Incorrect:

PatientOnion3: bey has a white guy fetish
Beysshoes: actually its a jewish fetish but don't get paranoid
on me homer.
Beysshoes: jewish men are the finest lovers i think. except the
emotionally arrested ones like our radish
PatientOnion3: all jewish men are homosexual, because of their
oppressive overbearing neurotic mothers,
DinosoreVagina: you know that's the kind of statement that makes
one wonder if you uh... travel extensively
Beysshoes: nah ah. nolo.
DinosoreVagina: and what exactly you do on vacation



Re-Hashing the Eggs:

Beysshoes: hey empy. what happed to that egg thing? you were
yammering about weeks ago?
EmpressZ21: egg thing
DinosoreVagina: oh yeah that was fun
EmpressZ21: refresh me
Various704: it was
Beysshoes: yah. that egg stuff.
Beysshoes: some party
Beysshoes: for an egg thing
DinosoreVagina: oh laura angry egg
Beysshoes: yes gina!!!
DinosoreVagina: what was that about?
EmpressZ21: i remember that part i dont remember what the egg
thing was though
PatientOnion3: you can't make an omelette without laying some eggs
and they came before the chicken and the horse




The Naked Neighbors Grow Old:
PatientOnion3: now that i don't want to watch them anymore,
the naked neighbors close their blinds
PatientOnion3: they never cook, they never read, they just watch tv
PatientOnion3: no, they live below me
PatientOnion3: they can't see
DinosoreVagina: how do you see them then?
PatientOnion3: i look down
DinosoreVagina: cameras?
DinosoreVagina: mirror
DinosoreVagina: see through floors?
DinosoreVagina: how does it help if they close the blinds then
PatientOnion3: they are about 10 feet lower
Various704: dino, you may not have noticed. but onion tells a
lot of lies.
PatientOnion3: blinds are closed I can't see thru them
DinosoreVagina: not Onion
EmpressZ21: across from him
Beysshoes: oscar. onion merely seasons
PatientOnion3: i think he is a musicians he always plays an air
harp or guitar or sax
Beysshoes: this is all
DinosoreVagina: I need sleep to figure this one out


Who's On Meds and Why:

EmpressZ21: and that's another thing do all you people take meds?
Beysshoes: the ones who should dont empy.
Pablo Bigasso: Only when I come in here.
Various704: i would if they were offered
Beysshoes: the ones who do, run out.
Beysshoes: the ones who get Rx's don't have money or insurance
Beysshoes: so the answer is yes. no. mebbe. nolo. what about you empy?
EmpressZ21: i dont do you?
Beysshoes: of course. i'm in here ain't i?


"we dont judge here":

Beysshoes: oh so your meds are street drugs? its okay.
we dont judge here.
EmpressZ21: nope dont do them either
Beysshoes: then i dont get it. why do you come here if you're not
disturbed or mental cakes?
EmpressZ21: youre cracking me up this morning beys
Beysshoes: oh you think i'm funny? you poor poor thang empy
Pablo Bigasso: She just thinks she's not disturbed.
EmpressZ21: you raise a good point i dont hear voices i dont
have 6 people living in my head im not depressed
EmpressZ21: i dont know why i come here now that i think about it
Beysshoes: well, i don't have 6 peeps in my head either.
in fact i have 6 vacancies


NOT on Meds:
Not Real Me4: somehow my waste paper basket has moved from
one side of the room to another

On Meds?:
Creepy Loner: Holy s**t. This whole day has just been geared
toward f**king me...and not in a pleasurable way.
SemiLitterate: You said that yesterday, Creepy

Needs to Be On Meds:
Anais3233: you guys need to get a room
Anais3233: i can cut the sexual tension with a chainsaw!

But You Have To Skip the Shower:
Anais3233: have you tried the sysco corncake in a tub?
Anais3233: it's unusually good.


Going Beyond:
Anais3233: ok, i have to go do something gross to my husband
Anais3233: he's taken a sleeping pill
Anais3233: what should i do?
Catpower777: that is a scary thought...something Anais considers gross
Anais3233: he's out like he took a roofie

Affection:
NoraMcKee525: i heart target's book section

Doofus In Need of Work:
ItsAwesomeToBeMe: OPRAH tyra banks wendy williams and the women on
the view get paid millions for JUST TALKING
ItsAwesomeToBeMe: any dooofus can do their job


For Want of a Coach:
Simone De Budoir: Gym, did you qualify for Bejing?
ATSGPGymnast20: Not even close! I lost all hope of that dream
in the 6th grade when my parents pulled me out of it cause of
cost and my coach being a jerk


Burn:
Jam7604801: i want to play some pogo but i'm not in the mood yet
DinosoreVagina: is awake a mood?

So There:
NoraMcKee525: arkansas smells terrible
G0BET: manhattan smells terrible


Prospect Trying To Clarify:

Prospect26: So does everyone know who I am and what gender
I am ? I have never made reference to my husband. You all
have refernce to my children, unfortunately.
Summers Eve L: Wait. Hit me one more 'gin with that info,
Prospect. And this time try making sense.
Prospect26: Summers...what part does not make sense?

Denial:
Prospect26: I have no obsession with Lady.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Prospect... you really SHOULD she is quite
pretty
Summers Eve L: hahaha Right, Prospect. And I am a calm person.

Nora Defines:
ParaMyrrh: Hey poop is profound I poop luminous turds that
are elated to heaven ensconced in strange gases unknown to mankind
NoraMcKee525: para..i sense a feces theme tonight
NoraMcKee525: am i warm?
ParaMyrrh: Nora yeah some deep.....
ParaMyrrh: Nora yeah a steaming pile
BinxB91: Nora, para loves feces themes
DinosoreVagina: leave it to nora to spoil the surprise
DoomGrl: its distasteful
NoraMcKee525: haha..i am on FIRE tonight

Victoria Scores:
ParaMyrrh: Only Doom can save me from the Cloacic Demons in my head
MsVictoriaLynn1: Doom is probably not strong enough to pull your
head out of there para


It Could Have Been worse:
BinxB91: That's a favorite trick. Light a kerosene soaked bag
of poop, leave it on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run
BinxB91: The person ends up stomping in poop thinking they're
putting out a fire
BinxB91: the mafia does that when you fall behind on your payments
Summers Eve L: "don't put it out with your boots Ted!"
"Don't tell me my business devil woman!"
Tammynet: stomping is better than stop, drop and roll


Bicycle Thief:
Condorblues: is this old home week in the book shelf?
BlDET: someone complimented me on my bike today
BlDET: and how cheap it was
BinxB91: I saw that movie
BlDET: kinda sad, that person missed out on a good story
BlDET: i sorta stole it, but there was money involved
BlDET: don't bait me

A Fake CreepyLoner:
TacoDreamMachine: the chicken broasting has tired me out
[flops back down]
Beysshoes: did creeps go and shack up with our onion gina?
TacoDreamMachine: I am creepy, onion is history
DinosoreVagina: maybe she ate him?
Tammynet: thought he was a lima bean
Bethliebner: like some female of the species who eat their
mates after sex


Affection:
Fleurdelochi: hada...>poke<
Hadachoke: >perk<