AOL HEADLINE GUY - Because "I'm just tired and
bored with myself", I asked AOL for some help
with the captions this time. They sent over some
technical assistance --- the guy who writes all
the headline/teasers for AOL news. See if you
can spot his captions below.


Bartender Finds Unpleasant Surprise in Coat Pocket:

MyndlessChat: I did black girl in our coat room when I
was NC and the manager lady had no idea
MyndlessChat: somehow the bartender ho found out...



Pudding, Jello, and Headlights --- You Won't
Believe What Women Call Their Breasts:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: why does the male equipment require
constant adjustment?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: thats what I'd like to know
Sleepy Eyed Evie: or do they just do it for fun
CordialCactus: its like a bra
Sleepy Eyed Evie: but my bra isnt part of my body
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i dont like bras
CordialCactus: lol.. they keep wanting to head to the equator
CordialCactus: point north babies! north i say!
EmpressZ21: haha
ThePaIeRlDER: rofl.rain forest candice?
Melodramamama22: heehee
Melodramamama22: i like that whole put the bra on, lean
forward, and jiggle them into optimal position
CordialCactus: i dont do that
Sleepy Eyed Evie: melissa you have to have enough to jiggle for
that to work
Melodramamama22: i thought everybody did that!
EmpressZ21: one must do a nip check when wearing a tight shirt
Melodramamama22: you will, one day, when they're the consistency
of pudding instead of jello
Sleepy Eyed Evie: yeah when it gets cold
Sleepy Eyed Evie: your headlights come on


Tacky Is As Tacky Does:

Searchchin: nodda sellers market
Beysshoes: its a buyers market.
Beysshoes: anyway i see in terms of time not money
Beysshoes: times a'wastin' chop chop
FoodSIut: binky has some room, he just kicked his girlfriend out
Beysshoes: homer binkys cheating on me IRL was one thing. but
i think he's cheating on me ONLINE!!!
Beysshoes: dats just tacky


As Fun as a Box of Hair:

Beysshoes: my gay bf tommy is moving to RI homer...is what
jump started me
Beysshoes: mebbe i'll move next door to you homer. you can
cook for me yes?
Beysshoes: i'll buy a brownstone...you and maui can live on
one floor.
Searchchin: playbuthole
Beysshoes: shut up and get out please nochin
Beysshoes: you're about as fun as a box of hair nochin


New Ways to Save on Movies:
Jam7604801: Creepo you might like Hancock with Will Smith
Hes a drunk super hero starting out
Creepy Loner: I'll pass, Jam.
Creepy Loner: Or just look in a mirror.

Rono's Pick-Up Lines:
Ridoy Vogn0: Where should I go to find you..I only see sufferings
with you...just wait maybe our love will be easy thru some miracle
Beysshoes: does the miracle mean 6 packs of viagra?
Ridoy Vogn0: you want to come to me because you want to hurt me...
Beysshoes: well, here's the thing rono...i'm too lazy to look for
you. solly

Denial Is Exciting:
Raphael11110: I like how women deny that porn excites them I
find that exciting ..

Just Before He Started Shooting:
Raphael11110: there's nothing good on tv someone must pay for it..

Passionate Beth:
Lilly Carden: Family Guy is on
Bethliebner: i hate that show


So Out of Character:
FrontalLobotomy7: where is Patient Ohnion
FrontalLobotomy7: he lied to me

Surround:
BlDET: i sometimes surround myself by fat people
BlDET: so i feel thinner
Creepy Loner: Fart.
BlDET: same idea

Movie Review:
BlDET: we saw wall-e today
BlDET: it was very cute
BlDET: funny
Lilly Carden: I loved Wall-e

The Chicken Lady:
BlDET: i just spent thousands of dollars on paintings of
angry chickens
BlDET: all chickens look angry, really
BlDET: so maybe they're not angry - just being themselves
BlDET: all chickens look angry, really
BlDET: so maybe they're not angry - just being themselves
NoraMcKee525: i missed the name of the movie beth is watching...??
BlDET: but there's something about an angry chicken
BlDET: they're everywhere
BlDET: maybe they're angry because they're chickens
BlDET: or maybe they are chickens because they're angry
DoomGrl: there is a chicken that lived 2 years without its head.
BlDET: IT'S A CHICKEN EGG THING
BlDET: the anger and the chicken

Bidet: "click me, baby":
Summers Eve L: I clicked Bidet. I'm sorry I just had too many
pots cooking to try and understand WTF she was bitching about.


Spank Me:
Catpower777: summer have you ever read anything by Mary Gaitskill?
Summers Eve L: No, Cat. I haven't. Something to check out?
NoraMcKee525: anyway, do you watch inthemotherhood?
Catpower777: well,you wanted something weird, right?
Catpower777: she wrote the story that the movie The Secretary
was based on
Summers Eve L: YES!
Summers Eve L: Oh I like that movie, Cat.
Catpower777: me, too !
BinxB91: really! Maggie gyllanhall?
Catpower777: it's in a book of short stories called "Bad Behavior"
Anais3233: i LOVE the secretary
Catpower777: yes, Binx
Anais3233: it's so awsome
Anais3233: james spader can spank me anytime
BinxB91: THREE Women love that movie!!



Odds and Ends:

Is She Weird 55: i'm a 2 in american eagle pants!!!

WarHorseThor: victor, I really have no desire to know anyone in
the music industry

Boulshevit: What's the greatest depressed drunk movie ever made?

KammaToasted: i can count the lesbians i've had on one hand

FoodSIut: donald took the greyhound to nogales and bought
a baby armadillo

Shackleton912: i used to read books in stripjoints

Is She Weird 55: i love the song detachable pe nis

DoomGrl: if you move your hands in a completely dark room,
you can feel the light

Anais3233: i'm afraid of americans

Jam7604801: maybe i should go to pogo

MsVictoriaLynn1: Nectrotizing bacteria is nearly endemic in
the caribbean right now


The Boys Are Back:
ParaMyrrh: War, Being a male is fun no better
anti-depressant than a Hard Cock
WarHorseThor: hahahahaha kal!
ParaMyrrh: and you can even share it's power to promote Joy!
WarHorseThor: the kind you can flex and make go up and down


Humility:
BinxB91: Doom, maybe you're just after deeper meanings ...
and I mistake that for naivete
DoomGrl: i dont thnk so Binx, maybe I am just stupid


Nora Does Better This Time:

NoraMcKee525: pregnant stray showed up tonight...oh yay
NoraMcKee525: tg it's a cat and not my sister
NoraMcKee525: this time



She Accidentally Lost a Friend See Why:
MsVictoriaLynn1: good night feloows, I've lost one friend
accidentally tonight, you aren't amusing anymore
ParaMyrrh: MsVic did he or she see you in the wig?
BinxB91: you lost a friend accidentally?
Creepy Loner: [sniff, sniff]...Eau de Drama.


She said He said She said:

NoraMcKee525: beys cacti said binx said there was a new katytried
but there ain't so i told cactus to tell binx but he was offline
so i'm tellin you
CordialCactus: yeah..binx came in and said there was a
new katytried
NoraMcKee525: SHUT UP cactus
CordialCactus: so.. i told nora.. and i was going to tell binx
Catpower777: Cactus, you mean BinkyLied?
NoraMcKee525: beys...tell him cactus said he said


[What I was thinking about, as she embraced herself ten feet
away and delievred her monologue, was the time she'd taken a
running jump into my arms. She had dashed forward and leaped
with limbs splayed. I nearly fell over. Almost a foot
shorter than me, she clambered up my body with ferociously
prehensible knees and ankles and found a seat on my shoulders.
"Hey," I said, protesting. "Transport me," she commanded.
I obeyed. I wobbled down the stairs and carried her the
length of Portobello Road.]


I Know What You Did Last Summer:
Lilly Carden: Last summer, I tried the Author's Lounge... hideous

Spot the Missing Word:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I DO So wish Godwit would move to the gulf coast
BinxB91: Why Vic?
Hadachoke: you wanna RUIN the Gulf coast?
Anais3233: so vic could blow him once and for all
BinxB91: Aniais!!!!
Creepy Loner: Did you forget the word "away" Anais?

Missing Memory:
KammaToasted: i had a chick orgasm while blowing me once....
(maybe she was faking, who cares?)...
Creepy Loner: I had the same thing happen to me once, Kamma...
Creepy Loner: [wondering if I blew you]

Kamma and Margaret Cho:
KammaToasted: chicks that make lots of jokes in bed annoy me
KammaToasted: i still fuck them, of course...but it's annoying


Nora Works Cheap:
FoodSIut: nora, are you in katy tried?
FoodSIut: do you get paid?
NoraMcKee525: i get paid in good karma and godwit's undying adoration


No Comment:

Beysshoes: i will nora. cancan is his cheerleading squad.
Beysshoes: he's lucky in that.
NoraMcKee525: beys..if candy's his cheerleader, why has she not
posted a comment?
Beysshoes: nora that's an excellent question. cancan you got
an eggscuse?
CordialCactus: i comment. you havent read the archives?
Beysshoes: cancan you really should comment more. you know binx
would love that.
Beysshoes: ya lazy syphillitis skank
CordialCactus: beys.. i speak with binx and give encouragement..
but i can comment publicly more often sure
Beysshoes: QUE??? you are talking private convos wid my boo???
Beysshoes:

Can Only Stand It For Another Hour:
Godwit935: This is so, so bad


Onion Made It:
Zenchef2006: beys, do you remember who made the observation about
2 asians speaking spanish last time we chatted?
FoodSIut: i made it
Beysshoes: yes zen chan ...t'was onion
Zenchef2006: arigato gozayimasu oni-san
FoodSIut: it is wrong
FoodSIut: asians should speak ASIAN and not MEXICAN


Reaction to Premature Ejaculation?:
Fleurdelochi: YOU FUCKING IDIOT
FoodSIut: fleur has a sexy temper in bed too


If I Only ...:
KD81785: I could be a linguist if I could learn a language
other than english
FoodSIut: Alberto Fujimori
FoodSIut: he took a fake peruvian first name like bey did
FoodSIut: bey tells people her first name is Juanita
Beysshoes: shut up you head cramp
KD81785: the second time I was at the University of SC, I had
a classmate who was the son of a Peruvian ambassador.


Hard Tofu:
FoodSIut: i like my tofu like my men, FIRM AND HARD

Chat Counseling:
Summers Eve L: I was very proud of us (me) for being so nice to
him and really trying to work it out.



BlueMonk("ask me some questions") continued:

BinxB91: what annoys you about your wife?
Shackleton912: she's materialistic
Shackleton912: she's not terribly intelligent
Shackleton912: she doesn't take it in the dumper these days
Shackleton912: every time she sees a sporting event on the
tv, she makes some kinda statement about how their wives
must be happy or something
GirlMeetsCamera: maybe she means in bed.
Shackleton912: no
Shackleton912: stuff-wise
GirlMeetsCamera: i'd be pretty happy with an athelete in bed.
Shackleton912: i was an athlete once

Shackleton912: women keep bothering me ever since i got married


If Rono Were Relaxed:
Happy sea lover: I learned trust today.
Happy sea lover: Well sometimes life is strange.
Happy sea lover: The person you would not turn to helps you.

Relection:
Shackleton912: vinyl is the new linoleum just like hobos are the
new unicorns, things change, that's all


Ya Feel me?:
AA Birthday Pony: i hate that word. menstrual
Sleepy Eyed Evie: you'd like it even less if you were a girl

So There:
Shackleton912: women in here, especially young women, who don't
get or appreciate me are stupid


What Monk Made His Parents Do:
Shackleton912: i loved chariots of fire when i was a kid
SemiLitterate: Music is good in Chariots
Shackleton912: semi, i made my parents buy me a casio keyboard
after that movie

Reflections on Polygamy:
Troymcgill2: I am really Renee...the wife of Troy & I can't
imagine living with 5 other women!

Bidet Paints:
BlDET: shack
Shackleton912: bidet
BlDET: shack, i did a painting today you might like
BlDET: a lot
Troymcgill2: Bidet....what kind of painting do you do?
I'm a painter.
Shackleton912: bidet, why would i like it?
Hadachoke: Biddy paints toilets
BlDET: sent it, shack
BlDET: you decide
BlDET: what do you paint, troy
Shackleton912: nice
Troymcgill2: Bidet....kid's art...
BlDET: troy, i am currently painting chickens
BlDET: have a small job doing a single-wall mural soon
Troymcgill2: Bid..interesting
Troymcgill2: I do murals all the time....love some...hate some
BlDET: shack, admit you loved it
Shackleton912: i said nice


Stand Hard:
SemiLitterate: I dislike negativity
BlDET: hush, semi
BinxB91: "it's not your fault"
BlDET: don't be a weenie
BlDET: don't be a binx


What's New in Kid's Lunches For the Fall:

Anais3233: i have two frozen bags of breastmilk in my freezer,
and i always threaten the kids that i'm going to put them in
their lunches instead of a coldpack. ON accident of course!!
NoraMcKee525: so what are you freezing this breastmilf for?
NoraMcKee525: breastMILF...lol
Rietax: lol anais
Anais3233: well, i was pumping and storing for a while.
Shackleton912: i do that
Anais3233: but then he was weaned and then now i just look at
it nostolgically. I'll never make milk again


Nature's Rubiks Cube:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: men don't understand/ appreciate the vagina
Sleepy Eyed Evie: nature's rubiks cube


Anais as Drug Lord:
Anais3233: yes, vadge, where's my package of stuff?
Anais3233: i have given my address out to three people online now
Anais3233: NOT A FUCKING THING
Anais3233: whores
DinosoreVagina: I'm working on it, I promise
Anais3233: you just wanted to look me up on google earth
DinosoreVagina: it's a lot of stuff
MsVictoriaLynn1: what is it you want sent to you Anais?
Anais3233: yay!!!
Anais3233: i always get sad when the ups truck drives by and
doesn't stop
DinosoreVagina: oh, I didn't think of googling you
DinosoreVagina: are you on google earth?
DinosoreVagina: waving?
Anais3233: no, but my trashcans are out
NoraMcKee525: uhoh...anais go stand outside quick while i do
google earth
DinosoreVagina: better out than in
DinosoreVagina: now I sound like shrek
DinosoreVagina: Princess Fiona


How to Pick a Career (you won't believe
way #4):
Anais3233: my books are eight hundred dollars
DinosoreVagina: books for what anais?
Anais3233: a and p, spanish, english and math
DinosoreVagina: what are you going for?
Anais3233: nursing
Anais3233: because i saw this porn one time, and i always wanted
to be a nurse and that just cinched it
DinosoreVagina: yes, that's how most people pick careers


Beysshoes Doing Godwit:
Beysshoes: russia is sending arms to cuba and syria and
you guys make chinese food jokes?


Hillary Looks Forward to College Life:
Is She Weird 55: i'm watching that 70s show, listening to
the raconteurs and thiinking about

It's Who You're Next to That Counts:
H&MSSve7: Fidel is going to look like a Wizard compared to Raul
FoodSIut: raul looks like a wizard compared to bush

No Higher Compliment:
Creepy Loner: F**k Onion...ya made me choke on my coffee.
Creepy Loner: [coughing]


Sitcom Cheer:
Is She Weird 55: No, it's the fresh prince of belair theme
Dickenzian: Is there a stale prince?
Is She Weird 55: oh my god stfu i am the entertainment of this
room., you all sing your dum bass seventeies sh it and i'll sing
my fresh prince and yeah... wow CNN MUCH? i can go to aol news
thanks for my latest yawn story


Hillary ala mode:
FoodSIut: hillary just wait, you are walking home from your college
library one night and a pack of hungry negros eat you for dessert

A Very Needy Sorority:
Is She Weird 55: i want an internship. i dont need to get married.
wtf i am not joining some needy sorority either
Is She Weird 55: i can just imagine me kicking all of their asses

Rono's Reactions:
MyndlessChat: even when the mother is fighting is with the
mother-in-law she is doing it for the future baby without
realizing it...
MyndlessChat: I am opening a new secret society...it is name
GROUP OF LOVE
FoodSIut: MyndlessBengali: my mother in law hates me as much as
my wife does.
Is She Weird 55: i am opening a new secret society---
it's called EVERYONE BUT MYNDLESS CHAT

The Vulnerable Rono:
MyndlessChat: I just spend all day crying...
MyndlessChat: I was watching this soap opera...
MyndlessChat: and I started to cry...
MyndlessChat: my worker is from bangladesh ...he gave me
bengali soap opera
CHRISCJAMEZ: It sucks big time.
MyndlessChat: and I started to cry...
Creepy Loner: Did you kiss him, Rono?
Creepy Loner: That would be hot.
MyndlessChat: yes...I cried watching the soap opera
Creepy Loner: Oh.
Dickenzian: I wonder if people cry in different languages
MyndlessChat: I cry like, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Is She Weird 55: wamu
Can't Get Their Brains Out of the Coat Room:
MyndlessChat: the people who always talk about sex have
no talent to find anything that is interesting
MyndlessChat: their brains are not capable of thinking
about anything else


Hillary's Roommate:
Is She Weird 55: i hate everyone i have to live with
Is She Weird 55: plus she's a bia
FoodSIut: a bialy?
Is She Weird 55: i already met her... on facebook. she talks
trash about me
Is She Weird 55: no, a bi tch
FoodSIut: she is rich you are poor, what do you expect
Is She Weird 55: she has a friend named walker and she's like
"I hate my roomate" to him
Is She Weird 55: isnt that awful?
FoodSIut: welcome to the adult world


Sex With Ex'es:
Creepy Loner: I cleaned my underwear with my ex-fiance's
toothbrush before we split up.
Fleurdelochi: what is sleeper doing in here?
Creepy Loner: I gave it a swirl in the toilet, too.
Is She Weird 55: x dickl
MsVictoriaLynn1: an its hard work to maintain one,
isn't it Anais?
Anais3233: but one time i took a room mate's laundry out of
the dryer and put it in a basket and danced on it. with my
dirty feet. jumped up and down.
Anais3233: and i never kissed him again
Creepy Loner: Neither did I...
Anais3233: i sucked his cock, but i was like, no more kissing
Anais3233: hahaha
Creepy Loner: LOL
Anais3233: just kidding




... or an Aim Problem:
Dickenzian: I don't know. When your semen winds up in your own
mouth, you have an ego problem
Anais3233: indeed

Godwit's Good Points:
Godwit935: KD, I don't tell dirty jokes to ten-year-olds.
Who's attacking whom?


Nora and Cactus Together Again:

NoraMcKee525: onion..cactus has something she wants to ask you
CordialCactus: nora.. you are bossy
FoodSIut: i'm right here cactus
Hadachoke: :-X = No Oral Sex
NoraMcKee525: lol..it WAS your idea
CordialCactus: ok.. you said something clever to nora..
about cross section..
CordialCactus: anyway.. i thought that would make a nice contribution
to katytried.. but nora was too shy to ask you
NoraMcKee525: cactus...READ YOUR IMS
CordialCactus: so, she volunteered me
NoraMcKee525: damn...too late
CordialCactus: i cant do two things at once woman!
NoraMcKee525: your sexual problems are not my business
FoodSIut: cactus are you naked and drunk and sending IMs, i think
creepy turned cordial lesbian in record time
NoraMcKee525: how many orange juices have you had cactus?


There's Always One Poor Idiot Who Didn't Get the Word:
CordialCactus: wOOt!
Creepy Loner: w00t!
Hadachoke: lol
Hadachoke: w00t!
Fleurdelochi: w00000000t
Godwit935: What's this woot business.
Creepy Loner: Onion explained the origin of "w00t" to me...


... and Hit 73 Home Runs in the Hawaiian League:
Beysshoes: i got phat from 2 months of steroids.


The Fourth is Third
Godwit935: I love the Fourth, being a real American.
Godwit935: The only holidays better than the Fourth are
Labor Day and Thanksgiving, in that order.

San Francisco Blackout:
Creepy Loner: Holy sh*t. ONION left the room for the first time
in 4 years.

THE CORRECTIONS:
Austin, not Austen/Memphis, not Nashville/
gentle, not rough/gains, not losses


XENOPHOBIA to the MAX!:
Zenchef2006: beyssss, como esta mija??
Beysshoes: mondo cane` zen. sigh
Beysshoes: y'tu meijo?
Zenchef2006: mas o menos dulcinea
Beysshoes: menos` mal entendu zen
Zenchef2006: awww gracias
PatientOnion3: jam is beside himself, a room filled with
asians speaking spanish


Dan Quayle meets Lou Dobbs:
Lilly Carden: It's sort of like a potatoe masher only totally
different
FoodSIut: mexicans have a bean masher that i use on potatoes


I Have a Thesis:
JFWaterman: No, KD, Michelle's thesis speaks for itself- I was
just speaking for my self unrelated to her thesis.
Rafo65: JF.. I wouldn't even read my OWN thesis without a gun
to my head.. who cares?

BookSlut Testing Another Screen Name:
B00KGASM: Jeez. And here I thought "sexforbooks" was clever.

Racing Dukaksis's Tank?:
SemiLitterate: In 1988 Clinton was still rolling around in his
Astroturf lined pickup truck

Eve L Kinevil:
Summers Eve L: I'm gonna have me a whole messa 'ritas. Bet.


Gratitude:
Is She Weird 55: you got me through senior year, thank you

God Is Watching Us All:
Is She Weird 55: i am watching you idiots chat amongst
yourselves while i get ready to sleep


Summers Hulk L:

Summers Eve L: Does anyone else immediately get irked when
someone says to you: "Ok. I have to tell you something,
but you have to promise not to get mad."
Catpower777: Summer I never want to hear those words
Catpower777: and I usually ask if it will hurt my feelings
Pablo Bigasso: or, "promise not to tell anyone else"
SemiLitterate: Two people can keep a secret----if one of
them is dead
DinosoreVagina: oh.. that's never a good sign summer
DinosoreVagina: don't make the promise
DinosoreVagina: they'll tell you anyway
Summers Eve L: Oh I never make the promise. I'm always like
too late
Summers Eve L: Nowdays it's hurry up and tell me because you
have five seconds before Hulk arrives.


Judy Blume/Gentle-Rough/Sandra Oh/Asian Fetish:

Summers Eve L: Did anyone ever read that novel by Judy Blume
she wrote 5 or 6 years ago? It was adult fiction.
BinxB91: Judy Blume ...
Summers Eve L: I was such a fan of her books as a teen.
Summers Eve L: Or pre-teen.
DinosoreVagina: I think I did..
DinosoreVagina: but I loved her when I was a kid
DinosoreVagina: so, it was nostalgic in a way
Summers Eve L: SuperFudge and Tales of 4th Grade Nothing.
I'm sorry but they are hysterical
BinxB91: You were a fan of Judy Blume? And you grew into
a Roller Derby girl?
Summers Eve L: How does that conflict?
DinosoreVagina: oh I think I read tales of a fourth grade
nothing five times
BinxB91: uhm ... gentleness and roughness?
Summers Eve L: The biggest thing about me I think is my
attitude and a big part of that attitude is my sense of
humor.
Summers Eve L: I did not know that Judy Blume is the
equivalent of gentleness?
DinosoreVagina: I wouldn't equate her with gentleness
BinxB91: a reader of Judy Blume is usually a gentle soul
BinxB91: Eve, did you see the movie Sideways?
Summers Eve L: Yes, Encyclopedia Brown. I did.
Summers Eve L: Well, I like to break your impressions of the norm.
DinosoreVagina: a reader of Judy Blume is usually a young girl
BinxB91: The Sandra Oh character with the motorcyle helmet?
DinosoreVagina: most of us start out without rabies
DinosoreVagina: it's men that make us that way
Summers Eve L: Yes?
BinxB91: ... after she's done smashing her lover's face with
the motorcycle helmet
BinxB91: she bursts into tears
BinxB91: Both rough and gentle
FoodSIut: Binx has an asian woman fetish
BinxB91: It's OK to be both
BinxB91: Sandra Oh was both hot and a victim in that movie
BinxB91: I was glad she broke his nose
FoodSIut: he wants to put a wig and lipstick on rono
FoodSIut: and go to town
BinxB91: Onion, yuck
FoodSIut: sandra was sleeping with the director. He also had
an asian woman fetish
BinxB91: Sandra's husband WAS the director
FoodSIut: seeeeeeee!
FoodSIut: i was right

[I preferred walking the streets very early in the cool
morning as Sikh bank guards were eating sweet barfi and
drinking their beloved cow's milk in the street. The rain
trees were lovely, all of Jalan Treacher heavy with green
leaves and yellow flowers. Only the sight of a boy cutting
a banana tree reminded me that, three years before, the
gentle inhabitants of Kampong Baru had been butchering
their Chinese neighbours. Blood had run along those deep
drains beside which I now walked.]


Odds and Ends:

Summers Eve L: I hate the Andy Griffith Show. It makes
me feel violent.

Is She Weird 55: i have no desire to get a PHd

DinosoreVagina: no one is happy in michigan
DinosoreVagina: but there are mostly meat eaters

CordialCactus: ok.. perspiration is beading on my clavicle

Treeluva: this is either going to be depressing or the
best party ever.

NoraMcKee525: i like emmylou harris hair

B00KGASM: Pablo. Are you familiar with Vladmir Clavijo-Telepnev's
Alice in Wonderland project?

Max 314159265358: It's Wednesday yet I want fishsticks

FoodSIut: damn earthquakes and fires!




The Cockroach Saga:

B00KGASM: Nine days is not enough time, I know from experience,
in which to suffocate a roach. So the one I caught under the
rubber cup of my plunger faces at least a ten-day confinement.
B00KGASM: Earlier while tinkling, I leaned forward to grout the
rim of rubber with toothpaste.
B00KGASM: This room lacks the sort of subtle/savvy front-lobe
antics most other rooms are also lacking.
EmpressZ21: the palmettos are different from roaches
Melodramamama22: well it looked like a roach
Summers Eve L: The palmettos are hideous.
Melodramamama22: sort of a cross between a roach and a mouse
Nomdujourxx: close enough for me, Melo
Melodramamama22: enormous thing
Nomdujourxx: Our exterminator says they are different, but they
still look like roaches to me
Melodramamama22: yes they damn well do nom


Avoid Shitty Movies:

B00KGASM: I usually avoid sh*tty movies, Lynn.
B00KGASM: So no worries.
B00KGASM: Okay.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Its a bit unnerving Book, which makes it
effective... not S**ty
B00KGASM: I mean, it must be terribly depressing to be in the
forced presence of someone constantly cognating for the sheer
f**k of it.
Melodramamama22: cognating?
Nomdujourxx: cogitating
Melodramamama22: if that means drinking cognac, i'm all over it
B00KGASM: Cognating.
B00KGASM: Laughs, Melo.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Cogitating
PatientOnion3: Melo caughter her first husband constantly cognating
when he said he was staying late at work
B00KGASM: I meant what I typed.
Melodramamama22: i know, onion. worse, he was cognating on the
golf course
MsVictoriaLynn1: unless you are doing something that's illegal
in most states Book
MsVictoriaLynn1: Melo...?
Melodramamama22: yes?
PatientOnion3: he thought he was tiger woods
Melodramamama22: he still think he tiger woods.
MsVictoriaLynn1: wasn't Bill Murray doing that when he was washing
golf balls in CAddy Shack?
Melodramamama22: well! i believe he was!
B00KGASM: Like I said, Lynn. I avoid sh*tty movies. There's really
no point in trying to dissuade me re: Tales From The Crypt.


Cogitate:

MsVictoriaLynn1: Hmmm.... Maybe Book IS Cognating then....;)
Nomdujourxx: If you were think of your ancestors, Book, you
might be right, but deep thought is cogitate (I looked it up)
Melodramamama22: i have to go to dictionary.com
Melodramamama22: b r b
Summers Eve L: Yes, Larue. When you were talking about weiner dogs.
You said "beady eyes, pointy teeth"
MsVictoriaLynn1: I'm not dissuading you Book, I was poking
fun at you but you were too busy cognating to notice
PatientOnion3: I know how to cognate verbs
PatientOnion3: i read, she reads, they read
Melodramamama22: book! there is no cognating
Melodramamama22: i mean, i know that what you've been trying
to say and all
Melodramamama22: but there really srsly ain't no cognating
anywhere in the world!
B00KGASM: Sigh.
B00KGASM: A play on words, Melo, along the lines of your witty
retort above.
PatientOnion3: cows cognate, they have two stomachs,
one for books, one for movies
Melodramamama22: they put webinar into the dictionary, which i
think is a travesty
CordialCactus: oh, dont get me wrong, it was hilarious, i
just think its even funnier that you made that association
CordialCactus: oh! how was the pork loin, beans and taters?
Summers Eve L: It's a funny place in my brain.
Summers Eve L: It was DEELISH!!
PatientOnion3: book slut is in a good mood, she's playing with words
MsVictoriaLynn1: and a small spot in their intestine for
DVD's and VHS tapes
PatientOnion3: and cheese and cream
Melodramamama22: onion, if i move in will you feed me spotted
dick and tarts?
Melodramamama22: hopefully there will be some cognating on the
back deck too
B00KGASM: Cognating'll be the word of the day.
Melodramamama22: we have all been decognitized
MsVictoriaLynn1: Hmmm.... if you don't drink cognac, or haven't
any handy, is it OK to armagnate?



EVERYBODY LOVES BEYSSHOES - the 2nd Season:

Sweet Disorder 2: Vicky, love is love...unconditional comes
in many ways.
Fleurdelochi: even fake?
Beysshoes: yes mostly fake
DinosoreVagina: ok fake love.. that comes in many ways too
MsVictoriaLynn1: check your spam file Beys


ZOEaudra: why is gender so important to you? beyho
Beysshoes: whY? why??? cus i need medical insurance
you rude freakass
Beysshoes: i thought you didn't care about no gender zoe? you liarliarpantiesorbriefsonfire
ZOEaudra: who is david is not a gender question, you half fried
instant noodle doused in refried oil



ParaMyrrh: she sells heart, she sells meat Oh Dad, she's
driving me mad, come see
Beysshoes: is that a song david?
Catpower777: no it's his poem about you, Bey
Beysshoes: cat why do you have to ruin my present?
ParaMyrrh: we shake shake shake to the trumpet and through the
slippery city we ride, skyline swine on the circuit where all
the people shake their money in time
Beysshoes: dont get so jealous kitty

Beysshoes: 'twas a funny you mojolessfreaks
Fleurdelochi: beys, i left my mojo in my other pants. sorry


Catpower777: ok, I'll try to contain it, Bey
ZOEaudra: get a room, da ho and the paranuts
ParaMyrrh: high in the city where the clouds wipe the angel's
asses and stain the snow
Beysshoes: para, are you force feeding me your poetry cus i
didn't go to your site?


Beysshoes: ms vicky, i'll pay to have the tutu repaired. okay?
MsVictoriaLynn1: OK Beys
Zenchef2006: ripped tutu?? forget it i dont wanna know
Beysshoes: ha zen. 'twas her hubert humphry special.
i got overly excited
Zenchef2006: beys, think about baseball, works for me


ParaMyrrh: I am all for suicide I think people should be
allowed to change their genitals if they want I just think
it's sick
MsVictoriaLynn1: Para, you are a sorry little man with
delusions of adequacy, I tolerate you out of pity
ParaMyrrh: not morally but aesthetically and emotionally
ParaMyrrh: I am against hysterectomies too
ParaMyrrh: but for clitorectomies for the purpose of hygiene
Beysshoes: you dont get to say what anybody does with their
bodies you power and control freak







Fuck Yourself:

Creepy Loner: I'm indifferent to my genitals...well, I'm happy
that nothing's gone horribly wrong with them...other than
that...
Creepy Loner: [shrug]
PatientOnion3: genitals as in plural? how many do you have?
Jam7604801: or no fruit
Creepy Loner: Two.
PatientOnion3: that explains it
ParaMyrrh: Patient I consider my anus a sexual organ and my
mouth and my fingers
Creepy Loner: Three if I really like you.
PatientOnion3: i barely have one, and you have two
PatientOnion3: and three for special occasions!


The Beloved ParaMyrrh:

Yossarian4now: para is a dude??
MsVictoriaLynn1: Para, I would never recommend gender surgery for you
MsVictoriaLynn1: A Lobotomy YES... but never gender surgery
Catpower777: maybe Onion could perform it
ParaMyrrh: Ms I think Gender surgery is akin to nazi experimentation
for a doctor to practice it on a person is simply his desire for
profit and not trying to help a person
MsVictoriaLynn1: So the Lobotomy is still an option para?


The Grand Illusion = Creepy's Date:

PatientOnion3: creepy is back from her date. are you gonna
kiss & tell?
Creepy Loner: What do you want to know, Onion?
Creepy Loner: I'll tell you all.
PatientOnion3: what kind of cuisine was at the restaurant he
took you to?
Creepy Loner: Smoked turkey and swiss cheese.
Creepy Loner: And beer.
PatientOnion3: okay, that's all I need to know, now i can
go M*sturbate
Creepy Loner: [rolling tongue around lewdly at Onion]
PatientOnion3: i can see the mayo on your tongue creepy
Creepy Loner: I'm f**kin' with all of you, of course. I think
I'd die before go on a date...
PatientOnion3: now i gotta put away the V*SELINE


I Know How a Caged Bird Tastes:

PatientOnion3: maya angelou came over tonight and gave me her
tamale recipe
MsVictoriaLynn1: very nice
Creepy Loner: [salute]
MsVictoriaLynn1: :-*
ParaMyrrh: Un Coup de Des
PatientOnion3: it was totally effed up, way too much masa, she
should stick to literature and leave the cooking to me



"homosexual music rules":

ParaMyrrh: we kiss all over the lips like pain we got a
lot of electricity
ParaMyrrh: I said oh it's bigger than the universe bigger
than the two of us
Creepy Loner: *Relax / Frankie Goes To Hollywood*
ParaMyrrh: we gotta love like a fallen home
PatientOnion3: homosexual music rules
Creepy Loner: [dancing around Onion]


Ships Passing in the Night:
ParaMyrrh: I am happy with my genitals
PatientOnion3: darn wife
PatientOnion3: drunk again, tripped over the modem


Tease Me, Please Me:

PatientOnion3: zoe, A lack of experience does not disqualify
you as long as you have a sincere interest in pleasing me.
ZOEaudra: onion, why not go wax your ass?
ZOEaudra: cough
PatientOnion3: zoe, don't stop
ParaMyrrh: I like Onion he's my homey
ZOEaudra: what if my name is hank?
Jam7604801: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth
with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination:
they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be
upon them.
PatientOnion3: you wax mine, i'll wax yours
Creepy Loner: You can wax my ass, Onion.
PatientOnion3: it's already naired


Trump Me:

Beysshoes: vicky?
MsVictoriaLynn1: Yes Beys?
Beysshoes: why try to force feed the idjits any sense?
ParaMyrrh: Bey don't underestimate idiots they built the
Great Pyramids
Beysshoes: theyz ignorant ms vicky
Beysshoes: truism para can always trump me


[When I was a writer, I had to explain over and over again
that my fiction was not based on my life. People never
believed me. No one ever asked me if my life was based
on my fiction.]


THAT'S a Saying?:

ParaMyrrh: I like to pop the huge zits my girlfriend
gets on her ass
ParaMyrrh: it's sexay
Beysshoes: dont you let your gf bathe para?
ParaMyrrh: remember the saying "the prettiest girl in class,
has a pimple on her ass"?


Those Were the Days:

ParaMyrrh: Creepy wasn't it fun popping them why can't
people admit they like doing that?
Beysshoes: my gf and i used to send popped zits to each other
in hs in the mail
Beysshoes: true friendship
Beysshoes: her name is marvi. i still love her.
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
Creepy Loner: Oh, wonderful times.


Why High Schools Have Security Guards:

Creepy Loner: I need a new zit-coated victim...I'll visit
the local high schools tomorrow.
Beysshoes: now why you gots to scare me like that creeps?
Creepy Loner: Come on...there's nothing scary about the
thought of me roaming the halls of a high school looking
for people with severe acne.




Denial:
Summers Eve L: I am not a stinky earth loving patchouli wearing
dred having dead following hippy.


Short-Lived:

FoodSIut: jasper, how was your hot date tonight?
Fleurdelochi: was jasper tammy's hot date?
Fleurdelochi: ooooo
Tammynet: it was a secret until my pal Onion got involved
FoodSIut: they were sitting in a coffee shop, and they were
both reading the SAME book, the Deli of Dakar
Beysshoes: tamela. enough about them. tell us about your
fornication with jaspar please
Tammynet: Well Beys it was short lived
Beysshoes: premie ejac tamela?
Tammynet: even before i got there



No Other Way:
Ridoyvogno: you must look at my blog...I have no other way to
show my talent


Blurting Out Poetry During Sex:
Anais3233: no, i got some this afternoon
Anais3233: and this morning
Summers Eve L: Stinky sex.
Summers Eve L: hahaha
Anais3233: old age will burn and rage at close of day
Anais3233: rage, rage against the dying of the light, do not go
gentle into that good night
Catpower777: I believe everything Anais says...after all, she
even reports her half shags


Great Couples:
NoraMcKee525: i have a great book about dylan thomas and
whasser name and sylvia plath and whasisname and um...
NoraMcKee525: it's called passionat lives
NoraMcKee525: shhhh cat It is "he who must not be named
NoraMcKee525: ok henry and june ansd anais/caitlin and
dylan/sylvia and ::AHEM::/scott and zelda/
dh lawrence and frieda
Catpower777: she left out Sonny and Cher


Rono Rocks:
Ridoyvogno: binky am I making you cry...
BinxB91: Yes, Rono, I am bored to tears


Ohio Tourist Spots:

PatientOnion3: northern ohio, they used to have a haunted
house ride where you could get serious petting done
Creepy Loner: No, no...Northern Ohio is better than Southern.
Is She Weird 55: ohio is only beautiful in the cuyahoga
national park and valley during the fall
NoraMcKee525: what was it pat?
DinosoreVagina: seriously haunted petting?
Creepy Loner: The real Deliverance monsters are in Southern Ohio.
Creepy Loner: "You got a real purdy mouth."


Let's Stay Together:

Catpower777: Hillary where is the bf going to school?
Is She Weird 55: akron univ
Creepy Loner: Well, there goes that relationship.
Is She Weird 55: no wayyyy we're staying together six hours away



True That!:
Ridoyvogno: negative and angry pepole never realise that they
are making it worse for themselves...

Hillary Not Getting Any:
Is She Weird 55: wow... i am getting nothing for four years
because my parents say loyola = four years of brithday presents


A Bengali Christmas Story:
Ridoyvogno: I will threaten or smash whomever I want
Ridoyvogno: I want you to do something about it...
Ridoyvogno: binx, you are a man enough?
Ridoyvogno: you little inseet...
BinxB91: do something about it??
Is She Weird 55: what is inseet?
Ridoyvogno: and you are a hulk man
Anais3233: it's like leg wrestling
Ta21l: why don't you just say the words Rono..."I double dog dare you"

Vocabulary Builder:
ParaMyrrh: Creepy I pity Rono He's lonely, angry and
feels so puerile

The Impressionable Hillary:
Is She Weird 55: i am gonna type like rono for a while
Is She Weird 55: hit me binxy..! you hulk! go buy some camera
and take pic of me! you no strong
Is She Weird 55: BINKY!

Rono's Side Kick?:
BIDET LIVES: i have come to further ruin the shelf

Make Me, Muslim!:
PatientOnion3: rono, pot calling the kettle black, you short
fat angry pest you
Ridoyvogno: shut up, jewish

Know Thyself:
Ridoyvogno: i get along very well with online people..

Shelf Memories:
Hadachoke: is ridoyo = Rono?
Creepy Loner: Indeed, Hada.
Hadachoke: shit


Dr Seuss Rono Style:
Ridoyvogno: harassing is sam


Performance Artist?:
CordialCactus: back... i found my son on the top bunk with
pudding and no spoon


... or She Took the Wrong Test:
Treeluva: well. Lets see. I either did REALLY well.
Or I bombed it.
Treeluva: yeah. I either knew what I was doing. Or I thought
I knew what I was doing.

Sexified:
Treeluva: I have to be at work for 145
Treeluva: blah. that sucks.
Treeluva: I am just sleepy. I want to take a nap.
Treeluva: but instead I have to get sexified cause it is "sexy Tuesday"
Treeluva: yeah. My freaking patrons conned me into this last week.
Treeluva: it used to be sexy Friday. But I dont work Friday days.
o they never see me all sexified.


CreepyLoner Novel:

Creepy Loner: Ugh. My thighs are killing me. I have to try to move.
FoodSIut: who are you strangling with your thighs, your hot date?
FoodSIut: the thigh with the tattoo of the WINDMIL ON FIRE!
Creepy Loner: [laughing]...stop that, Onion.
BinxB91: a Windmill on Fire?
Creepy Loner: Some fresh aspect of Onion's fictional account of
me and my life, Binx.
Creepy Loner: I have no idea.

Hillary's Darkside:
Is She Weird 55: i fed my dog a wasabi pea
Is She Weird 55: she ran to her water dish but i took it away
Is She Weird 55: please dont call the humane society on me!


MsLynn's T-shirt:
MsVictoriaLynn1: "While your undressing me with your eyes, the
least you could do is fold my clothes properly"

The Safety Dance:
Creepy Loner: His version was "You can touch my buttocks, they
are firm and they are round, but if you do touch, a little too
much, I might pull my trousers down." I'm sure he stole that
from something, but I don't know what, so I found it
Creepy Loner: hilarious.
NoraMcKee525: i mean...um....
Creepy Loner: And he lived up to the promise.


Memories:

Creepy Loner: It's in my memory. I do have a Polaroid of his
penis, though...so he'd better not mess with me...
BinxB91: "A Polaroid of His Penis" --- future title of the
CreepyLoner book of poetry
PatientOnion3: are you sure it's HIS P*NIS?
Creepy Loner: Pretty sure...I took the picture.
Creepy Loner: Proving that you're not a straight woman or a
gay man, Onion.


Anais's Dream Cam:

PatientOnion3: i just turned on Anais' dream cam, her and
creepy are all dressed up as black ninjas, sneaking in the
back door of rono's hut, anais pulls a long knife out of her
ninja pocket, creepy has a star trek rapulator
Creepy Loner: Yeah...and...?
DinosoreVagina: imagine Anais' dream cam... she could charge
for that
MsVictoriaLynn1: mine are in sensurround
Creepy Loner: I'm trying to figure out how a dream about me
hemming some pants could be erotic.
Creepy Loner: She never did explain that well.




We Love You But We're Lazy:
Max 314159265358: I never get EMails
Tammynet: cause you have too many damn numbers to type Max..
we love you but we are lazy


Pastor Limit:

Solsfam: My son went to seminary in Waco
Pablo Bigasso: Did he come out of it ok, Sols?
Solsfam: Pablo,yes , he is now a pastor
Pablo Bigasso: I spent a month in Waco one evening.
Summers Eve L: Then he didn't come out ok.
Summers Eve L: Whoa somebody stop us.
NoraMcKee525: lol eve
Pablo Bigasso: ahaha
Solsfam: He is hoping to become senior pastor at his church
Pablo Bigasso: A Pastor? like with marinara sauce?


Bad Typing Won't Get Her Off:

Daxterbuddies: Wait Please Nora I have to get off Really Quick
NoraMcKee525: k
Summers Eve L: haha
CordialCactus: lol
CordialCactus: get off slower
CordialCactus: :-X
Pablo Bigasso: O:-)
EmpressZ21: yeah huh?
CordialCactus: more slowly?
Summers Eve L: I'm liking the random Use of Capitalization.
Summers Eve L: It Reminds me of When I have DIFFICULTY
controlling the VOLUME OF MY VOICE
CordialCactus: me tOo


Onion's ChatRoom Op-Ed:
PatientOnion3 Where else can you meet so easily a cross-section
of evil senseless boredom?
Can you imagine a big warehouse in town, each door labelled
like a chatroom? You walk in and see 36 humans who are born again,
abducted by UFOs and Hopelessly Romantic.


Nora Seeks solace from ... ONION!:
NoraMcKee525[8:51 PM]: onion...oregon duck hunter is creeping
me out in a not funny way in ims




Onion Pumps Up CreepyLoner:

FoodSIut: anybody gains such status from dating you
Creepy Loner: Absolutely not, Onion...all of my exes have become
famous, sexy, rich, and adored almost the moment after they
stopped boinking me.
FoodSIut: that's because they stole your charm, intelligence and
wit, and you inspired them

YUCK YUCK YUCK/ Unfamiliar Phrases/
Liarface To the Max/Nora of Austen/
Eve of Nashville/ Victoria of Syracuse/
Thorapy/(Cheer Up Fleurdolochi)


Who Needs Zinfindel Chicken?:
Creepy Loner: Okay...
Creepy Loner: In a few minutes, tasty coffee.

Who Needs Sushi?:
KyKimmie80: Zen, do you eat sushi?
Zenchef2006: kimmie, not anymore for the same reason most
women wont date a male gynecologist
StarlightStorms: ah.......


Was She With Elvis?:
DoomGrl: i met KatyTried the other nite.
i didnt know she was real


Haunted:
NoraMcKee525: why is sex and the city always on? it haunts me
like one of those paintings where the eyes follow you
CordialCactus: i always seem to catch the funky spunk episode


Candy is Sweet But Liquor is ... :
DAISYTRAIL: I bet that's what they're doing, making up the names.
DAISYTRAIL: BookSlut may as well be talking Chinese, I don't
understand anything she says.
DoomGrl: Bookie rocks
DAISYTRAIL: yeah yeah yeah, right
Pablo Bigasso: Book Slut is a denizen of this dive?
DoomGrl: she is sweet, some times. lol
DAISYTRAIL: sweet? are you joking? when?
Catpower777: when doom is drunk, Book is sweet
DoomGrl: I dont drink alcohol Cat
DAISYTRAIL: ok, it must be the drugs, then


Contrasting Styles:
DoomGrl: i dont like fat
DAISYTRAIL: fine, stick to your yogurt and granola, just
throw me your steak

Unreliable Reporter:
Catpower777: I see I'm going to have to go have a buffalo
burger and report back
Tammynet: i am not sure you are trustworthy, Cat. You
like Okra after all


Scary Trucks:
DoomGrl: big trucks are scary. plus they peek in your car
as you go by
BinxB91: Doom, wear pants
Pablo Bigasso: or at least show a little thigh
DoomGrl: ok, i guess thats the problem
DoomGrl: i once changed into shorts in the car, and this
truck driver kept watching
DoomGrl: of course it took a long time, the long underwear
and all
Catpower777: do you moon them, Doom?
DoomGrl: i like when they blow their horn


The DaisyTrail Way:
DAISYTRAIL: Pablo's right, show a little thigh. Then keep the
truck behind you, and if you break down, you'll have automatic help.
Pablo Bigasso: Daisy, I can tell you're the practical type.



Scenic Nova Scotia:
DoomGrl: ellen page's next movie is about roller derby
BinxB91: Ellen Page grew up in Nova Scotia
DoomGrl: i love Nova Scotia
DoomGrl: once we saw a coca cola truck rolled over on the
coast highway
DoomGrl: and we saw a meteor shower


Dim Prospect:

Prospect26: Lady...I am not a drinker.
LadyMtnMedic: currently, or Ever?
Summers Eve L: That's odd, Prospect. You have always seemed
like a drinker to me.
Prospect26: Lady...what are you getting at?
Summers Eve L: You know. Moody, nonsensical, somewhat disturbed,
obsessed....
LadyMtnMedic: you use to talk pretty openly about it


Phrase Meister:
Summers Eve L: I'm doing damn dandy, Zen. Thanks for asking.
Summers Eve L: I missed your answer to my question about work,
Zen. AOL farted on me. Sorry. Hope it was good.
LadyMtnMedic: dam dandy, kinda has a ring to it, I like that


Dear Nora, It's Just a Blog:

NoraMcKee525: well, my friend that i forgot to pick up from the
er the other day because i was busy reading katytried..
NoraMcKee525: evidently, she is really sick
Summers Eve L: Oh. Ouch. Yeah.
NoraMcKee525: i know..right?



Odds and Ends:

KammaToasted: i've received and at least partially perused
7 mailings of literature on alaskan cruises

MsVictoriaLynn1: took me a week to get my rear end to unpucker

Summers Eve L: My dog just farted and it scared him.

Godwit935: These beautiful, skinny, illiterate broads that get
on the tube.

ManiacEyeball: we had naps in preschool, i was always jealous of
the rich bitches with sleeping bags

NoraMcKee525: why do i keep dreaming about my uterus falling out?

MsVictoriaLynn1: I always practice safe socks

Bethliebner: you have to celebrate when a cat wakes up

Fleurdelochi: the whole fucking day is a distraction

Darkcurlygrl: WOW I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY WEIRDOS IN HERE AT ONE TIME




Nora's Challenge:

NoraMcKee525: well, the time is at hand people
NoraMcKee525: wish me luck
CordialCactus: good luck.. may the fence scaling force be with you
Darkcurlygrl: come back alive!
NoraMcKee525: goodbye cruel shelf
CordialCactus: no matter how bruised and battered you are....
CordialCactus: you have to return to share your exploits with us
CordialCactus: even if the dogs chew off your typing finge...
BinxB91: why is she climbing fences?
CordialCactus: she promised to feed a friends dogs
CordialCactus: and she lost the key

What's your point?:
Godwit935: This is Book Shelf.
DoomGrl: should we be reading?

Can't Hold a Rage:
CordialCactus: i hate you all
CordialCactus: lol brb


Mike Myers Quote:
Zenchef2006: i love the line in so i married an axe
murderer when the girl asks mike meyers if he likes haggis?
Zenchef2006: "no actually i think all scottish food was
developed on the basis of a dare"


Wanna Bet on Godwit's Ethnicity?:
Godwit935: What is the quality of the Scottish that makes them
such great businessmen, such great Presbyterians, such managers?


What, No Haggis?:

NoraMcKee525: cactus...my kidney is swollen to the size of
maria shriver's jaw
CordialCactus: why is your kidney swollen?
NoraMcKee525: it's like a tetherball
NoraMcKee525: idk...something about never drinking anything but
alcohol , coffee, and dr pepper while chewing on some sourpatch
kids


She's On To You, Nora:
Summers Eve L: Sourpatch kids are the shiznit o bim bam
snip snap sack.
Summers Eve L: If my calculations are correct. OMG. I just saw
you with a pocket protector.

And She's Onto Onion too!:
Summers Eve L: I think that Liarface uses little character
voices for his different personalties. I imagine that he
reads his lines out loud in ridiculous voices.
Summers Eve L: I think that's why bakes all that crap.
He bakes his finger puppets.



How to Be a 40-year old virgin:
Godwit935: Anais, it's a known fact.



"I'm sorry mom":

LadyQuasi: There is actually a show that was on Broadway and
the West End called "Puppetry of the Penis." The subtitle is
Genital Origami
Dickenzian: Lady, the way the GOP gets votes is to point out
that such plays get grants
DoomGrl: i heard about that Lady
DoomGrl: what could they possibly do with them for 2 hours
in a show??
CordialCactus: lady.. when i first met you in thinkers.. i think
you gave me that link.. because i have it in my favorites
DoomGrl: stick it in this, stick it in that
LadyQuasi: Yep...they apparently tour the world with this act.
NoraMcKee525: what is it?
CordialCactus: Puppetry of the Penis
DoomGrl: a show about junk
CordialCactus: im sorry mom


Well, It Won't Displace Fireworks:
Beysshoes: fezz, the fourth is an excellent time to spread the
word and voter reg forms for obama yes?


Point-Counterpoint:
Darkcurlygrl: and why is ur name shackleton
Shackleton912: why are you named after my pubic hair?


Jane Knows:

Ippsnak: you'll LOOOVE abba after that movie
Creepy Boner: Oh, f**k that. I had some little ponce friend
that made me listen to "Dancing Queen" 10,000 times.
Creepy Boner: I HATE ABBA.
BinxB91: what's a ponce friend?
Ippsnak: i know i was just wondering that...what's a ponce
friends
JaneH56: Ponce friend, "gay friend".


If You're Interested, I Am Interesting:
B00KGASM: I bought an interesting book, today.
NoraMcKee525: what book, book
Anais3233: what book was that?
Ippsnak: what book?
B00KGASM: Hold on a sec.


Parenting Techniques:

CordialCactus: brb.. have to use #8 patented parenting
technique of "you want to go camping tomorrow? yeah?
well then go to bed! Now NOW! i said go to bed"
Anais3233: cordial you need to com over to my house and
see my bedtime technique
DinosoreVagina: Anais, isn't that for private viewing only
Lilly Carden: A little Benadril in their milk?
Anais3233: we say, go to bed, and unless you're choking
or bleeding from your eyes, you are not to come out of your
room.
NoraMcKee525: dimetapp is good for that lilly
Anais3233: and then, if they do, say, MOM AND DAD ARE GOING
TO BE NAKED OUT HERE, STAY IN YOUR BED
Anais3233: also, i say 'You don't have to go to sleep, you
just have to pretend you are sleeping"


Classroom Techniques:

NoraMcKee525: anais...i use that with my class you may bother
me if blood is ERUPTING from your body...not becasue you
think it might bleed or it bled yesterday afternoon
NoraMcKee525: not erupting? no bandaid now get out


Those Damned P Words:

Fleurdelochi: extrasensory perception
Zenchef2006: fleur dont you mean extrasensory perversion?
Zenchef2006: hello shoe meet mister foot, hey look fleur!!
it fits!!
Fleurdelochi: zen, as to me being perverted......i believe
there's a word that fits here
Fleurdelochi: "projection"
Boulshevit: As much as Freud can kiss my ass...I agree
with him on that one Fleur




EVERYBODY LOVES BEYSSHOES:

PatientOnion3: bey is a cult of one

Beysshoes: something tells me not to lubs you too much nora
NoraMcKee525: wait...i mean yes, thank you for asking bey
you nosy wench


Beysshoes: 'hey binky...u think candycane is classy
goody2shoes??? look heah."
CordialCactus: beys, dollface.. whats up with that?
CordialCactus: what are you talking about, you silly woman?
Beysshoes: you called somebody a cuntlette
Beysshoes: oof

FoodSIut: bey do you have a special retarded language?
Catpower777: lolol
Beysshoes: cat you laffed too hard there.
Beysshoes: shut up you jiggaho

Beysshoes: wanna make friends edrue?
EDruezillaB: I don't give a shit.
EDruezillaB: I don't come in here with needs.
DinosoreVagina: or meds

Beysshoes: liarliarthongpantiesonfire
CordialCactus: lol beysboogerface

Darkcurlygrl: bey, u can hurt me anytime, babe
Darkcurlygrl: Bey's awesome
Darkcurlygrl: bey's a he or a she?

CordialCactus: you beyotch
Beysshoes: candy i was playing you psycopussy
CordialCactus: and i you, love of my loins
ParaMyrrh: I am here



LiarFace:

PatientOnion3: tony and I were in nam together, he saved
my life 7.5 times
PatientOnion3: the last time was by accident
PatientOnion3: he tripped over a land mine when he was
leading our recon unit
DinosoreVagina: so you only have half a life now?
Beysshoes: ty for your disservice tony


Any Volunteers?:

EDruezillaB: Onion needs to get laid.
Is She Weird 55: true
PatientOnion3: gah
Danmagtom: on that fine note....
Melodramamama22: i was thinking electroshock, but laid works too
Beysshoes: edrue volunteers
Beysshoes: another good citizen


Dumbing Down to Deliverance:

Catpower777: so what have I missed?
Beysshoes: onion was onna run ... primo hunting foh non
specific gendered money
Beysshoes: ms vic came in talking history and when nobody
responded she wisely dumbed it down
Beysshoes: and began talking deliverance lines
DinosoreVagina: cue the banjos (again)
MsVictoriaLynn1: I saw a VERY cute T-shirt some time ago, it said:
"Paddle FASTER! I hear BANJOES!"

LauraAngryEggs:
DinosoreVagina: no emp thinks that laura angry eggs is someone
messing with her (emp being her)
Sleepy Eyed Evie: that's why i thought it was her the first
time angry eggs came in
DinosoreVagina: and she said there was some egg discussion/debate
a couple of nights ago
Beysshoes: wasn't that onions omelette rant tho?
Melodramamama22: its possible to rant about an omelette?
Beysshoes: onion can rant about anything. anything.
DinosoreVagina: he is gifted like that
Beysshoes: a rantsmith
Melodramamama22: i wonder how he'd feel about a lump crabmeat
omelette
Beysshoes: i think he'd love the lump part


Dear Lily, Change Brands:
Lilly Carden: I don't like beer. It smells like gym lockers
FoodSIut: bad experience with Lesbian gym teacher?




Spitting Seeds Can be Sexy:
LadyQuasi: A cold slice of watermelon has long been a
Fourth of July holiday staple. But according to recent studies,
the juicy fruit may be better suited for Valentine’s Day
LadyQuasi: That’s because scientists say watermelon has
ingredients that deliver Viagra-like effects to the body’s
blood vessels and may even increase libido.



The Gentler Sex:
CordialCactus: oh!
Creepy Loner: *Psycho Killer / Talking Heads*
Creepy Loner: [belch]
NoraMcKee525: she called ME a cuntlet
Creepy Loner: Go away.


Sincerely:

PatientOnion3: bey, sweeter than book slut?
Beysshoes: onion you're pussy whipped. pitifuls
Creepy Loner: [serious stare]
PatientOnion3: bill knows that book slut is the sweetest, ain't
that right billie?
PatientOnion3: he has the panties
PatientOnion3: Bill, what did you do with book slut?
CordialCactus: creepy.. you made me just snort.. sincerely you did
Beysshoes: whoa serious stare.




12-Step Program:

Beysshoes: holding aa meeting in here.
DinosoreVagina: First step, admit that everyone else has
a problem
Creepy Loner: Step two?
DinosoreVagina: try and beat them into confessing it
Beysshoes: gina, we dont have dat much time.
Lilly Carden: Step Two: Don't fault others for not being as
perfect as you.
Lilly Carden: Step Three: Admit that you really don't like
toaster strudle as much as pop tarts
PatientOnion3: strudel
Lilly Carden: They just don't have those crispy edges.
PatientOnion3: you anti-semite
Beysshoes: yah woot bunion sayud
DinosoreVagina: Step three, have a drink and put it on someone
else's tab
Lilly Carden: Step Four: Admit that you find the feel of warm
dryer lint oddly comforting when you squish it between your
fingers and smell.
Beysshoes: lilly. you're scaring me
MsVictoriaLynn1: My name is Onion and I'm a sodaholic


Bill Still Not Talking:

PatientOnion3: bill, did you stroodle doodle book slut?
PatientOnion3: did you doodle her with your stroodle?
MsVictoriaLynn1: Reach for the sky
PatientOnion3: whip her with your noodle?
PatientOnion3: make her yip like a poodle?
DinosoreVagina: doodle the stroodle with the noodle and a poodle
DinosoreVagina: onion, only you


More LiarFace:

PatientOnion3: i filled my staple gun with two heads of garlic
PatientOnion3: flipped the safety off
Lilly Carden: Garlic... puh-leeze
Lilly Carden: someone's been watching too much television
Lilly Carden: Next thing you know, they'll be rounding up the
villagers and hiding their virgins
CordialCactus: i want to add lilly to my basement menagerie (dont
worry, lilly, creeps and onion are going to be there too)
Beysshoes: one of onions job is demonstrating the garlic crusher
in the whole foods market lilly
Beysshoes: please dont disparage him.
Beysshoes: oh candy you're so cheery i miss yayou skankyhoheyud


Keeping Up With the Jones, Freak Style:

MsVictoriaLynn1: I have a skeleton hanging in EVERY closet in
our house
Beysshoes: ms vic. dunt brag so...some o' us got our own
mortuaries and cemetaries
MsVictoriaLynn1: I own 6 plots in a cemetery Beys, I'm thinking of
having a tiny McDonalds built on the property


Coffee:

MsVictoriaLynn1: Coffee... The final frontier....
MsVictoriaLynn1: Dueling Barrista's!
Lilly Carden: Dr..... Spock..... I ..... can't...... reach
...... the...... coffee.....mate
CordialCactus: NoraMcKee525 [10:51 P.M.]: i am not talking to you
CordialCactus: snicker
Beysshoes: candy?
CordialCactus: ok.. you can live in my basement too
CordialCactus: you can have the laundry room
CordialCactus: or wait!
DinosoreVagina: who's in the basement now, dr. spock or jim
CordialCactus: the playroom


Why Bother?:

Duwamish Head: do any of you guys ever actually read any books?
Duwamish Head: just curious
DarkFarie1395: i do!
MsVictoriaLynn1: never Duwamish
Beysshoes: farmers almanac duwam
DarkFarie1395: vampire books mostly
NoraMcKee525: maury povich
DinosoreVagina: accidentally on occasion
Duwamish Head: personaly, i like the farmers almanac
Beysshoes: also porn
PatientOnion3: why bother with books when you can live it?


On-Line Diva:
MsVictoriaLynn1: ED... a favor?
MsVictoriaLynn1: if you look at my profile pics, take care
not to get your monitor TOO sticky


A Job for LiarFace:

Hijim8: Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley. I'm hornier than Ron Jeremey.
Catpower777: Onion, you take this one
Beysshoes: horny? well, we already did our rounds. solly hijim
Catpower777: so smooth, I can't believe he's having trouble
finding a woman
FoodSlut: Hi Jim, you aren't horny enough for me, i need it
every 30 minutes on the hour
Beysshoes: high testosterone he is.


"competing against sewage":

JFWaterman: Keeping my breathing hole above water was the
great chore-
MsVictoriaLynn1: Next time I'm there I'll send you some speedies
MsVictoriaLynn1: Well JF... you could whitewater raft down
Onondaga Creek here in Syracuse
JFWaterman: Um, MsVictoria, what's the vernacular? Fuck that shit?
MsVictoriaLynn1: most of its sewage
JFWaterman: Rather fuck you, truth be told-
MsVictoriaLynn1: in THIS outfit, at this hour? at least let me
freshen up
MsVictoriaLynn1: I have to shave my legs, find an outfit....
Sheesh
JFWaterman: SOrry, Vickie dear- didn't mean to be a pain-
DinosoreVagina: oh c'mon... you're competing against sewage
MsVictoriaLynn1: hun... if you're a pain, then we are
doing it wrong


Mermaid With A Mint Julip:

JFWaterman: Hehehe. Just kisses and hugs, right, my sweet?
MsVictoriaLynn1: We haven't even been properly introduced.!
MsVictoriaLynn1: <---fanning myself as I sip my julip on
the veranda
JFWaterman: Vickie's woman enough for me, if she fished me
out of the RIver.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Catch me Beys... Ahhh believe
Ahh am gonna faint!
Beysshoes: whatevah just get a room already
JasperWing: You mean swoon.
JasperWing: Because you have the vapors.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Sheesh... you're all nit picking and here I
am laying on the damn veranda covered in mint julip!
MsVictoriaLynn1: Well JF... just think of me as a mermaid
MsVictoriaLynn1: with a rudder
MsVictoriaLynn1: will someone PLEASE wipe this julip off me,
its sticky
JFWaterman: I'd lick it off you, VIckie.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Why Ahhhh Nevahhh!
MsVictoriaLynn1: Well, yes I have but thats not the point


Oddly Enough:

Hadachoke: beyss... are you slandering me?
Beysshoes: or edrue's imaginary friend
Hadachoke: i am not now, nor have i ever been, a deb..
MsVictoriaLynn1: Are you SURE Hada?
ManiacEyeball: Oddly enough, I have a librarian jew step
mom named Deb


J. Edgar Hoover Joke:

MsVictoriaLynn1: brb... Gotta put on my J.Edgar Hoover Tutu
ManiacEyeball: AO-sleeepover.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Beys...?
Beysshoes: yes vicky?
MsVictoriaLynn1: be careful around the tutu, its a rental
ManiacEyeball: Do you have a photo of the tutu?

Onion's Eleven?
PatientOnion3: binky, you drunken flag-burning mess of a marine
Melodramamama22: yeah, and we're robbing a vietnamese grocery
instead of a casino


Judah Said:

DoomGrl: Hiya. Judah said AOL is closing the chat rooms tonite
PatientOnion3: yes, the NSA wants all chat room logs, so aol is
complying, they are looking for traitors
PatientOnion3: they are looking for people like me who jumped
up and down when jesse helms got inducted into hell on the 4th
of july, which I celebrated con mucho gusto
BinxB91: who's Judah?
DAISYTRAIL: isn't Judah a Lounger?
DoomGrl: Judah, in Author's Lounge
PatientOnion3: judah is a goddess of pure beauty and perky bingos
in the authors lounge
Pablo Bigasso: Jesse kicking it on the 4th had to be planned.
DoomGrl: shes not positive
BinxB91: oh Author's Lounge ... puke
PatientOnion3: she has happy smiley eyes, and she is a vegetarian
DoomGrl: why puke, Binx?
Catpower777: doom, for what purpose?
Pablo Bigasso: Author's Lounge, where all the real writers are
long-departed.
PatientOnion3: she just brings major B*NERS to all the poor authors
who cannot afford viagra
BinxB91: Doom, oh I'm just playing ... imagining that Author's Lounge
is a bunch of ....
DoomGrl: there are still some. Ann Crispin has published a million books


Clouds in My Coffee:

BinxB91: Last night at Barnes&Noble, David Edelstein's wife came in.
I only vaguely knew he was.
BinxB91: I am so vague
DoomGrl: who is he Binx?
BinxB91: "You're so vague" --- Carly Simon
Tammynet: i bet you think that book is about you
Catpower777: you probably think his book is about you
DAISYTRAIL: hahaha Tammy
Catpower777: don't you
Catpower777: lol
Catpower777: omg


Making Fun of America's DairyLand:

DinosoreVagina: wb vicky.. I think someone ate that maggot before
I could milk it
DinosoreVagina: I'm really broken up about that
MsVictoriaLynn1: the hard part is finding their udders and getting
those little teeny milk pails
PatientOnion3: maggots lay eggs, like republicans
CordialCactus: no.. you dont milk the maggot to make cheese you
sillies... the maggots are introduced through a dating service to
an established cheese


Healthy Tacos:

CordialCactus: wow.. i just had a small dirty martini and i can
barely form words that makes sense
DinosoreVagina: did you eat today?
CordialCactus: yep..dinner at 7:00 healthy tacos
DinosoreVagina: maybe you're really on your tenth
DinosoreVagina: and you've forgotten


BLT Still Beloved:
MsVictoriaLynn1: See... my mom didn't raise any idiots
MsVictoriaLynn1: well... unless I'm related to thor
RoderckDhu: MsVictoria - LOL - to Thor?
MsVictoriaLynn1: that fool needs to be put to sleep


Musings:

CordialCactus: can a man truly in love with one woman also
watch porn?
Beysshoes: its just a hobby sheesh
Beysshoes: why so uptight?
Beysshoes: candy, its just a babysitter. be glad for the rest
CordialCactus: im not uptight
CordialCactus: free porn


A Woman's Work Is Never Done:
Anais3233: ok, i have to go get my pussy licked
Anais3233: later all!!!


Your Eeyore Behavior:

Fleurdelochi: hi
PatientOnion3: fleur, are you feeling okay tonight cupcake
Fleurdelochi: nope
PatientOnion3: you want a chocolate bedtime story?
Fleurdelochi: nope
Tem o Bedlam: ::moving away from furniture with shap edges::
PatientOnion3: you want a divorce?
Summers Eve L: How sweet that LiarFace picked up on your
Eeyore behavior.
Summers Eve L: What's going on Slutbunny?
Tem o Bedlam: Hiyer Fleur.
Fleurdelochi: a divorce from whom?


A Unique Asain male:

Zenchef2006: lol lynn, hey im an anomoly, an asian male who actually
has a decent posterior
Beysshoes: uhm zen. thaz not the side o the bod we chicas care about
Catpower777: Bey...always straight to the point
Zenchef2006: even if i can pickup a quarter with it beys??


"oh yuck":

CordialCactus: posteriors are not the cake
CordialCactus: they are just the sprinkles
Zenchef2006: well only if you dont do a good job wiping cactus
CordialCactus: oh yuck
CordialCactus: delete delete
Zenchef2006: but i think dingleberries is the correct term
CordialCactus: ack ack
Fleurdelochi: bad zen, no cookie


Filling In for Anais:

CordialCactus: i.. yes i.. had incredible marital consumation
last night.. i feel we are lacking that topic with anais gone..
so i want to say.. yes.. yes cc gets some.. and she likes her
nookie


"I have turned away many women of this room":

WarHorseThor: svelana, will you excuse me while i use the
lavatory?
SVETLANAGAL: k
Beysshoes: loLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL "use the lav"
ParaMyrrh: thor is so considerate
WarHorseThor: spaciba
WarHorseThor: brb
Beysshoes: candy you catching dis?
SVETLANAGAL: yw
WarHorseThor: svetlana, have you been warned about me yet?
ManiacEyeball: He's starting to sound like Nion.
ParaMyrrh: WarHorse is a fine gentleman
Darkcurlygrl: paramyrrh ARE YOU A PARABOLA AND A FRAGRANCE
SVETLANAGAL: no what should I know?
WarHorseThor: I am a passionate man with a strict code of decency
MsVictoriaLynn1: who are you and what have you done with Thor?
SVETLANAGAL: passionate is good I hope
WarHorseThor: it is
WarHorseThor: svetlana, I have turned away many of the women of
this room, thusly, they are jaded, ignore them as you gaze into
the bright blue eyes of your future
Ta21l: lol....oh that was smooth....


Another Chore for Onion:
SteveIzHere1: I cant sleep
CordialCactus: to our detriment
Beysshoes: steve, onion will hep you with that
SteveIzHere1: I pee on onion.
Darkcurlygrl: lol bey, pawning him off on onion all ready
SteveIzHere1: pee on his face
Beysshoes: you ingrate steve. get out


"Ew":

SteveIzHere1: dark is my new girlfriend
PatientOnion3: steve, dark is a man
SteveIzHere1: oh
Darkcurlygrl: no, i'm a girl
Darkcurlygrl: and i like victoria
Beysshoes: just a technicality in here curly. dont be so uptight
ParaMyrrh: AOL is the land of Gender Confusion
PatientOnion3: steve, can I hold it?
SteveIzHere1: ew
CordialCactus: pst.. if you kneq what is good for you, you would
agree with onion
Darkcurlygrl: i'm gonna start tosing ppl
Beysshoes: curly. just cus candy talked straight sex dont think
its the new rule heah


Not So:
ParaMyrrh: Does someone actually jump on your nerves?
ParaMyrrh: not so
ParaMyrrh: Nerves are like electrical vines throughout your body
Max 314159265358: I'll be passed out in 45 minutes
ParaMyrrh: so sexay to think about dat


Language of Love:

WarHorseThor: kak vas zavut?
SVETLANAGAL: labas vakaras
WarHorseThor: etta ochin trudnya svetlana
Hadachoke: (?
SVETLANAGAL: sto trudnaya?
WarHorseThor: maya padruga
SVETLANAGAL: shalom


More Yucks:

ParaMyrrh: Ms When my girl farts I sadly sigh and say,
"My cock's house is falling down"
MsVictoriaLynn1: then you are using the wrong door Para
Beysshoes: cocks house?
Beysshoes: what does this mean?
ParaMyrrh: yeah every Cock needs a home
Beysshoes: yuck
ParaMyrrh: Ms nah always tight and alright
ParaMyrrh: she loves it she's got boolah boolah fever


... he meant his IQ and some bizaare jewellry:
Max 314159265358: It's 94 and I can feel the beads down my ass
Beysshoes: sessy



The Fun Couple:

PatientOnion3: bey, binx is afraid to come in the room when you are here
Beysshoes: onion is this so?
PatientOnion3: bey, he can give you that baby you've wanted for so long
Sbarlo: jeepers
Beysshoes: onion you know my hysterical pregnancy left me barren.
stop teasing.
Beysshoes: its so true candy, my 'baby tumor' was the size of a
3rd term fetus.
Fleurdelochi: you had gestational trophoblastic disease?
Fleurdelochi: tumor that mimics pregnancy
Beysshoes: mebbe fleur
Beysshoes: well kind of. the tumor was real. the mimic might've
been in my heyud
PatientOnion3: what is a HE YUD?
Beysshoes: head you ass


Medical Terms:
Beysshoes: wow. like "who's afraid of virginia woolf" fleur?
PatientOnion3: creepy, did you barf yet?
Fleurdelochi: there's another name for it, i'm trying to remember
PatientOnion3: raccoons love vomit
Fleurdelochi: oh yeah...it's called a molar pregnancy
PatientOnion3: dark curly is bi-molar



Who's Gonna Drive You Home?:
Fleurdelochi: cactus, honey
Fleurdelochi: just remember, when you've had too much,
i can be your designated chatter
Ta21l: it's nice to know something's never change...lol


[... the year that Shostakovich married Nina Varzar and
Comrade Stalin's wife shot herself; the year after Hitler's
neice shot herself and the year before Hitler became
Chancellor; there would take place a conference in
international linguistics, one of whose delegates would be
a German comrade named Lina, a woman with brown eyes and
brown bangs who would that very first time would sit on
the soft red armchair of that hotel room in Leningrad,
watching Elena and and pushing the collar of her sweater
up around her throat with both hands; for the previous
half hour Lina and Elena would have been engaged in a
fervant discussion as to the best Russian rendering of
the following thirteenth century verse: I = ItalicIsolde's secret
song was her marvelous beauty, whose invisibe beauty,
whose invisble music crept through the windows of her
eyes. I = Italic Aside from the sweater, Lina would be
naked with her white knees drawn up almost to her shoulders
and the long white lips of her vulva as irresistable
as candy to Elena, her anus was a white star. In a
moment Elena was going to kneel down and bury her face in the
German girl's flesh; she knew and so did Lena. Just before
that happened, Lina was going to say: We have almost the
same name, don't we? and Elena, hardly able to bear her
desire for the other woman, would nod rapidly while Lina
let go of her sweater with her right hand and slowly
reached out, rested her fingers in Elena's hair, twisted
it into a knot and forced her head down ...]



Leslie's Lost Lesbian Lover:
LeslieHapablap: where is my dear friend creepy loner?

New Zoo Review:
LeslieHapablap: over the weekend we went to the san diego zoo.
LeslieHapablap: frankly, it was simply average.
LeslieHapablap: i had higher expectations of this so called
world famous zoo.
LeslieHapablap: the animal habitats were subpar.
LeslieHapablap: though it was a large zoo.
LeslieHapablap: honestly, i think the henry doorly zoo in
omaha is a better zoo.

Beach Review:
LeslieHapablap: yesterday we went to the beach.
boy does that ocean smell icky.

Movie Review:
LeslieHapablap: this afternoon i watched "atonement".
a few years ago i read the book.

Y Tu Mama Tambien:
LeslieHapablap: hi, various704, how is your mother?



William Wal-Mart:
Lydiaparn8: Vari, I met a girl from Scotland the other day when
I was at Walmart.
Lydiaparn8: She was lovely and I mentioned William Wallace to her
and she glowed.
EmpressZ21: how the heck do you work william wallace into a
conversation at the walmart
NoraMcKee525: more like KMart
NoraMcKee525: blue paint special


How I2Days Got His Set of Books:

I2DaysInNovember: once when I was four year old I hit the
back of my head on a window sill corner and needed five
stiches
I2DaysInNovember: Mam got me a disney book 'Bambi'
I2DaysInNovember: by the time I was twelve I had the whole
set of Disney books
I2DaysInNovember: then a year later I got hit in the face by
a swing and needed three more stiches
I2DaysInNovember: Mom got me Pinoccio


Beysshoes - Not Afraid to Ask:

Beysshoes: rono's back? thank goodness.
WarHorseThor: beys, he got married, congratulate him
Beysshoes: congrats rono!!!
Beysshoes: were you his groomsman james?
Ridoyvogno: http://www.ronorealm.com/lrb-jokhon-kokhono.mp3
WarHorseThor: I was
WarHorseThor: rono is laying serious pipe every night
Beysshoes: blt cannot you help rono?
Beysshoes: wait what does "laying serious pipe" mean?


Actually, She Works on Term Papers:
Anais3233: i only TP with my husband and two BOBs
heh
Beysshoes: TP? que?
Lamumsie: it involves sex, Beys
FoodSIut: triple play, line out to the second baseman, he tags
second, whirls and throws to first
Likesgarters1: TP is like a DP + 1
Beysshoes: DP + 1 ? Que?
Wanderer9411: nice fielding slut
FoodSIut: whirls and fires a strike to first
Likesgarters1: shoes, you really are not picking up on a dp?
Beysshoes: i waste my time in here and it costs me my porn time. OH OK!


Beysshoes Didn't Ask:
MsVictoriaLynn1: two cannibals were eating a clown, one turns to
the other and says; "Does this taste funny to you?""


She Was the Walrus:
Setanta75: I am me as you are me as you are you and we are
Fleurdelochi: well, that would work
Setanta75: all together
Setanta75: But I am going to a different room to sit on a
Setanta75: cornflake
Summers Eve L: Gosh. I miss her already. That was sunshine in
a font. Fleurdelochi: notty, the set idiot?


What Bob Dylan Made Her Do:
CordialCactus: bob dylan made me shoot pringles out my nose
(i can almost swear to it)...he was singing..
CordialCactus: i wantchoo.. i wantchoo... i wantchoo so bad
CordialCactus: and there was another line.. ah.. now i have to
google
MsVictoriaLynn1: CC... the biggest mistake in the history of rock
and roll was giving that little twit a microphone
Farsideomoon: oh the other line: don;t follow leaders - but watch
the parkingmeters?


HADA springs eternal:
JadedDremer: i'm hungry and there's nothing fun here
Hadachoke: c'mere, J