KaLenfer Still Jousting at Windmills


Sexing the Phrons:

ParaMyrrh: Phronsie my sexual magnetism frightens
you and reminds you of all of your lost opportunities
to explore the true paradise of sex with a man who
makes love to a woman en

ParaMyrrh: toto
Verneuker: Phronsie...so it is
PatientOnion3: and to stop protecting our freedoms
before we don't have any left
Verneuker: as the late lamented wrote..."so it goes"
Phronsie: Onion, is this going to turn into apolitical
diatribe?
Catpower777: Vonnegut?
Verneuker: indeed
ParaMyrrh: When I make love to a woman her entire body
to me is a like a tuning fork for my love stick to strike
and play a beautiful harmony
Phronsie: Yeah.
Phronsie: I tend to use that in my Hadleyville NIghts a lot
TDNA983: i didnt think vonnegut was that great
Phronsie: or rather Cliff uses it often
Verneuker: I learned a lot of things in the bin...one was
"dont take yourself so seriously"
Phronsie: well, of course, you didn't TD
Verneuker: another was "relax"
Phronsie: good advice, Vern.
Phronsie: Too bad you can't make Para understand that




Heavy, you say?:

Phronsie: I guess the largest, or deepest rather,
wound I ever had was as a result of the biopsy on
my left breast
Phronsie: Lumpectormy, which unfortunately developed
a staph infection in the hospital
Phronsie: took a helluva long time to heal.
Godwit935: But you still have your breast, Phronsie?
Phronsie: oh, yeah
Godwit935: That's good, Phronsie.
Phronsie: I would have loved to have lost both of them,
but no go
Godwit935: Oh Phronsie, please....don't think like that.
Phronsie: Wit, having heavy sacks of flesh and fat hanging
from you is not the most comfortable thing in the world
Godwit935: I think women's breasts are one of the
strongest arguments for the existence of God.
Godwit935: Phronsie, heavy, you say?
Phronsie: they do have weight




Strip Clubs:

Lmysterious2u: i'm not into strip clubs
Godwit935: Do you like women, Lm?
Lmysterious2u: god, you must
Verneuker: <Godwit935: I love women, of course, Lm. I'm a man.
Lmysterious2u: i think strip clubs would make me depressed
Verneuker: Same here Mysterious
Verneuker: like I cant just walk down the street and see
a woman who wouldnt in a million years let me in her bed
Verneuker: but to pay for the taunting?
KevinsAlias: I spent a lot of time on the road.
Verneuker: sheeze
Lmysterious2u: i've been doing a lot of part time job hunting
Godwit935: Kevin, what do you do, sell something?
Verneuker: I guess Im not a masochist after all



Attempting to have an intelligent convo:

Beysshoes: kevin we are attempting to have an
intelligent convo here...get wid the program
KevinsAlias: Sorry, Bey, just how my mind works....
sort of like an old episode of the Smothers Brothers
Beysshoes: 's okay kev xox
MadiHolmes: man, the smothers brothers



An Honorary Woman:

Verneuker: Beysshoes: vern, there's dozens of the inverse sentiment
of that phrase
Jam7604801: i think most women are bi polar
you never know just when they will explode
Verneuker: perhaps Beys...do you doubt Im an honourary
woman at my workplace?
Beysshoes: que vern? what does this mean pls?
Verneuker: Beys...well Im an independent contractor....and
the only male in my office (me and 3 women).....
MadiHolmes: Vern's the one who sets up the pedi-parties
Beysshoes: ah...boygeorge they'd better watch out now
that you're dry vern.
Verneuker: I sit off in the corner, efforting to mind
my own business....but the gal next to me is going through
a bad divorce....
Verneuker: so she occasionally asks me..."As a man...can
you answer this?"
KevinsAlias: yikes!
Verneuker: I havent been a man in a dogs, age, but
I throw on my game face anyway
MadiHolmes: then Vern tells her about hte supersecret
manly code of secrecy
MadiHolmes: and tells her "No"
Verneuker: next one down is a woman leaving the
business soon so she can go on the road as a Truck Driver
with her Boyfriend so they can make enough money to Move
back to Israel
Verneuker: shes divorced too
Verneuker: (oh and hes not from Israel, but she assumes
he'll go along with the move, just give him time)
MadiHolmes: uhh
MadiHolmes: becuase "truck driver" is such a peaceful,
quiet job in Israel
Beysshoes: tell me about the gay bf merriment.
Verneuker: so then theres my nominal boss...now shes
happily married, and 6 foot and blonde...and stacked
out to HERE (at least)
Verneuker: actually well past here
Verneuker: shes nice
Verneuker: and largely leaves me alone
Verneuker: Did I mention that Crockette is the HR Director?
Verneuker: oh yes
Verneuker: shes my bosses boss



My Cuz says:

Jsscorpio1028: my cuz says that u guys r book worms
BinxB91: Jsscorpio, your cousin's a dork
Jsscorpio1028: he says that u guys need to get a life
Beysshoes: is yours for sale JSS?



Kevin met EVYunq?:

KevinsAlias: He was in a book store I popped into
one day. Pissed as hell there were no lining up
for him



Sports metaphor misses:

Verneuker: Beys as for me, I throw the Knuckleball
Beysshoes: what is a knuckleball? is that like a knuckle head?



The Weekly Rono:

Niontron3: I see no humans without arrogance
Niontron3: me arrogant too
Niontron3: not that I am proud of being arrogant

KaL, Jerks, Boogie Men,and Feel-Good Movies


He's still Got It:
TRBfrom NC: how nice to think i can still freak people out


... or am I in another universe?:
TDNA983: did don ho die or was he already dead or
am i just way too drunk for this?



You want feel good????
I'll give you feel good!!!!
Ragamuffingirl35: i want to see a really good feel good movie
Ragamuffingirl35: it's sad that there doesn't seem to be
more of those around
MadiHolmes: Rag- are you kidding??
MadiHolmes: Pursuit of Happyness?
MadiHolmes: Happy Feet?
MadiHolmes: THe Last Mimzy?
Ragamuffingirl35: i hated pursuit of happyness
MadiHolmes: Hot Fuzz?
Beysshoes: you talking soft core porn mel?
Ragamuffingirl35: i've seen happy feet
Ragamuffingirl35: is the last mimzy good?
Beysshoes: juegando chica
MadiHolmes: I doubt it, Rag
MadiHolmes: but you never asked about goodness



Race Ranter Be Gone:
MrApproachable: I have a question besides race huslter,
race baiting, race huckster and race spitting what are
some other terms to call Al Sharpton???
MrApproachable: please answer my question folks?????
Jlswilson227: huh?
Beysshoes: can ya take down the font color a notch?
Jlswilson227: Im the boss and I say race baiting ist verboten!
Kevlar56: Who the hell is this guy???
MrApproachable: can some1 give me a new sophicated word
for al sharpton
Beysshoes: we already had a race rant in here earlier MR APP
Jlswilson227: NO RACE RANTING
Beysshoes: the other MRs left
Jlswilson227: sorry for the capps all
Kevlar56: Go the hell away, asswipe
Jlswilson227: we were having a good time and all
Kevlar56: Sorry folks
Beysshoes: ty kev
Jlswilson227: I could always emasculate him
Kevlar56: I could care less about that crap



Pleeeeeeease:
ParaMyrrh: everyone should read my blog


Dating KaL:
ParaMyrrh: it makes for an excellent mixture of wantonness and cruelty


KaL is struck:
ParaMyrrh: it struck me that my father buried the poet in him to love
his children with all that song in him


Spitting Tea:
Beysshoes: the ta is back!
Ta21l: would have been sooner but I spit tea on myself


Down Boys:
JFWaterman: Hi there, chat folks!
Beysshoes: we're actually talking books tonight JF
JFWaterman: Poznakomtis, Bey!
JFWaterman: Khorosho!
Jlswilson227: I love books
Kevlar56: Me too, JF
Kevlar56: I live/love to read
Jlswilson227: all of them (excluding westerns and housewife porn)!
JFWaterman: WHat kind of books are we talking about,
or just the concept of books?



The origin of jerks and boogie men:
Penrod59: how did the word "jerk" evolve into the meaning
it has had for at least the last 60 years?
Bludahlias: i just learned where the term boogie men came from.
Bludahlias: any takers?
Penrod59: Blu, the bog men dug out of european peat bogs
Catpower777: bogey?
Niontron3: I know where it came from
Penrod59: northern europe and scandinavia, mainly
Niontron3: it came from
Penrod59: and the british isles
Bludahlias: bugimen -- pirates

Bludahlias: europeans would go back home and tell their children
Penrod59: that's not what I read, blu
Penrod59: but maybe you're right
Bludahlias: behave or the bugimen will come get you
Penrod59: it'd be the first time, thogh


That strange sense of Geography:
Kevlar56: In the middle of the Great western
continent, west of the great river and near the
land of the inbred
Kevlar56: Saint Louis in other words
Beysshoes: AHHHH tupelo honeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Kevlar56: Among us dwell many with great hearts and
minds to match
Jlswilson227: where kev?
Kevlar56: Of course, I'm not among them...

Empowered Women and others


Looking for Miss Goodbar:

BinxB91: I remember that book "Looking for Mr Goodbar"
BinxB91: the woman goes to bars alone and reads at the bar
Ta21l: I used to do that when I was working at a bar
BinxB91: Ta, that doesn't count
BinxB91: You're on the other side
Ta21l: sure it does...ever read a smut filled book to
a bunch of drunks...funny


Noted:

Niontron3: the same people who censor sex
also the people who promote sex, through porno magazines
and videos...at one side they are inciting the feelings ...at
another they are making people feeling guilty


Deep Thoughts:

Niontron3: When I have nothing...then I have everything

Right next to TLC:
Penrod59: humiliation is a key tool in the parent's kit


She's Out There:
Prospect26: Audio isn't the same as a book...I love to read,
But I have long drives every week. And I can only knit so many
scarves.



Donors?:
Godwit935: I think Ira Glass and Charlie Rose are men
of the same kidney, if you know what I mean.



Very white of you:
Godwit935: I told the funnier joke.
Godwit935: Objectively speaking.




She's not that easy:

Beysshoes: binx what kind of thang is that to say? omg
BinxB91: I got an "omg" from Beys! Made my night
Beysshoes: binx. there was MG attached to that O ya know




Is she schizophrenic?:
RadioFreeJason80: You guys remind me of a friend of mine.



And if you drop out of high school?:
Niontron3: if you don't go to college, you become ginius

Niontron3: but if you go to college, you become dumb





Loving your disorder:

Godwit935: It's not unusual for mentally ill people to
coddle and love their disorders, to fondle them, play with them,
move them around with their fingers like little balls of mercury.
Prospect, Nion, these guys do this.
Beysshoes: you must be correct about that g'wit...those
2 are the only ones who consistently talk with you.



The advantages of One-Woman shows:

Phronsie: I acted in a couple of one-woman shows
Phronsie: actually, I like them because you don't have
to worry about other people forgetting their lines
Phronsie: or doing screwy things


Pot-kettle thingie revisited:
ParaMyrrh: private laundry in a public chat room such poor taste



The proverbia guy:

Catpower777: Binx, had any luck at the bookstore, lately?
BinxB91: I spent 2 hours at Barnes & Noble Friday night. I was
so engrossed in my book that there could have been an orgy in front
of me and I wouldn't have looked up.
BinxB91: well, maybe once
MadiHolmes: when some proverbia guy's penis hits you in the shin?



It was supposed to be cool:

BooksIut: Madi. Why did you feel the need to turn an innocent
response into a mean-spirited statement?
GutterDoll77: *sigh* You can virtually taste his writing...
MadiHolmes: it wasn't mean spirited
MadiHolmes: it was supposed to be cool and ironic and silly


Women empowering:

GutterDoll77: The secret life of bees is about how women
come together in life and through tragedy-- and overcome.
MadiHolmes: great
MadiHolmes: another "chick" book
BooksIut: Madi. Are you one of those chicks who thinks women
are best confined to collecting, instead of writing, great works of
literature?
MadiHolmes: ah no
BooksIut: Good.
MadiHolmes: I'm one of those chicks who hate it when books get
published on women "coming together" by doing womanly things
MadiHolmes: like quilting
MadiHolmes: or having sex with lots of guys
MadiHolmes: you know, "woman empowering"



It doesn't end with Bridget:

Jam7604801: madi is thinking girl power
BooksIut: I meant what I typed.
BooksIut: The Impetuous Epicure is a cute website.
MadiHolmes: Jam- I'm sorry, but Bridget Jones is
not the end-all to female empowerment
MadiHolmes: nor is ya yaing the sisterhood




What are you wearing:

InfamousAudey: I'm naked. Sitting on my couch
with the laptop, smoking a bowl.


Look at the bright side, Mel:

InfamousAudey: my throat hurts.
InfamousAudey: but it's no biopsy
Ragamuffingirl35: i won't even get the results for a day or two :(
Jam7604801: well mel at least its faster than danielynns dna test


Audey sipping tea:
InfamousAudey: ok, what asshole left this weird beer at my house



Why not go back to code:
ParaMyrrh: in school to be mean we used to call flat
chested girls "Kansas" as code


Hoe:

Prospect26: I have a daughter...would I be offended if she was called a hoe?
PatientOnion3: but what imus said isn't "illegal".
MadiHolmes: prospect- what's the matter with being called a garden tool?



Mel finds a sweet man:

Ragamuffingirl35: my step-dad was really good today
when i was so horribly sick and mom was out
ParaMyrrh: Raga did he hold your back when you yacked?
Ragamuffingirl35: he brought me a bucket so i wouldn't
have to trip over the dogs to get to the bathroom and a
cool cloth for my face
ParaMyrrh: Raga that is sweet
Ragamuffingirl35: it is

The Further Adventures of Rono

Found:

Niontron3: I left my jacket at myworkplace one week
ago...I haven't been working for a week...and I went back
today...I found my jacket


Favor:


Niontron3: can you do me a big favor cat?
Catpower777: Rono, I will try
BinxB91: Rono is going to ask for help with a woman
Catpower777: no, he's going to ask me something mean
Niontron3: Cat, go to my site and click on RONOWRITES
Niontron3: and copy and past the link to me
Niontron3: in here
Catpower777: what site?
Niontron3: mysite
Niontron3: www.ronorealm.com
Catpower777: um, is there a reason you can't do this yourself, Rono?
Niontron3: click on RonoWrites
Niontron3: see aol has a BIG problem
Niontron3: everytime I go to a site, aol broswer stores the page that I visit
Niontron3: so next time when I update my page
Niontron3: I don't see the updated content
Catpower777: Think About Other People
Niontron3: thanx
Catpower777: yw


His library:

Niontron3: I have both Sex for Dummies and Dating for Dummies


Set for Life:

Niontron3: once you have herpes, you are set for life


My Dream:

Niontron3: One of my dreams is to go deep under water
and watch a GIANT squid
Lmysterious2u: Well, nion, that's very nice.


My biggest dream:

Niontron3: my, BIGGEST dream is to buy a private jungle,
as big as 2 square miles, with a lake, and live in it
Niontron3: the jungle will have all sorts of animals



Romantic talk:

Niontron3: some girls feel comfortable talking about breasts
Niontron3: some don't



Conspiracy Theory:

Niontron3: Consipiracies work this way: You would be
thinking you are doing the right things knowinlgy where as
in reality you would give into their plans




On Education:
Niontron3: I think they should stop sending kids to school...
and let them play until they are 10 years old


Seriously:
Niontron3: at least when I talk, I talk about serious matters


Separately, right?:

Bludahlias: am I the only one who imagines sex with
every male coworker


KaL's use of space:

ParaMyrrh: our Society is dysfunctional about sex wants to deny it
hide it make it scarey and shameful
ParaMyrrh: which is very Evngelical
ParaMyrrh: Evangelical

Penrod59: Para uses eighteen cliches and banal generalizations
per linear foot of type
Penrod59: "dysfunctional"
Penrod59: dysfunctional counts as twelve banalities alone



Another recommendation for KaL:

ParaMyrrh: Um in Europe 15 years and up girls go topless and it's nothing
Penrod59: Move to Europe, Para; they're obviously better than us
Penrod59: at least they know how to slaughter jews


AND another recommendation for KaL:

Phronsie: Para, have you ever considered self-detonation
Phronsie: an ultimate attention grabber


By cats???:

Niontron3: para, it i s a conspiracy against all people



she's 15:

ParaMyrrh: a 15 year old girl who comes to my work has a crush on me
she's so cute


What's on Onion's TV:


Godwit935: Patient, you are one sick sumbuck.
PatientOnion3: godwit, you sexy sweet talker you
Godwit935: Patient, careful, girly.
PatientOnion3: C-Bert, you are in this chatroom at
your own risk
Beysshoes: Cbert, just trying to survive in this cesspool here.
PatientOnion3: Book Sewer
BinxB91: I wonder what Beysshoes is missing on TV
PatientOnion3: American Idol
Cberthaume: not much
Beysshoes: i'm dvd'g "the office"
PatientOnion3: and that entrapment show when older women
pretend to be 13 and make men commit thought crimes
Godwit935: Pop-culture wastos.
Beysshoes: hush godwit you bummer
Cberthaume: the office rocks
Cberthaume: i love that show
Beysshoes: i know bert...its hysterical
BinxB91: wastos?
Cberthaume: csi not so much
PatientOnion3: the only show I watch is
Everybody Loves Godwit, the story of a dysfunctional
family with an old racist warmongering drunken father




Enola Lite:

Godwit935: I need better opponents in here.
We used to get a keener bunch.

Godwit935: It's no fun parrying with people who don't know
their guts are on the floor.



Ask Rosie:


Godwit935: Beys, do you think the British soldiers were in Iranian waters?
Beysshoes: i doubt it godwit.
Jam7604801: i don't know wit it could be possible
Jam7604801: not likely though
Beysshoes: but lets ask rosie o'donnell just in case why not?

Point/Counter-Point:

Godwit935: Did anyone see Ira Glass on Charlie Rose last night?
Beysshoes: YES godwit!!!
Beysshoes: of course you hate him godwit. i adored him.
Godwit935: Beys, did anything strike you odd about the interview?

Beysshoes: no godwit, but i'm sure you'll tell me.

Godwit935: Beys, it's an obvious question, it should have been asked.
Godwit935: I detest Ira Glass.
Beysshoes: from what i saw on charlie rose. yes, i thought he was sweet.
Beysshoes: any reason beyond his sexual preference godwit?
Godwit935: He comes off as sweet, obsequious even, but he is a liar.
Godwit935: Beys, the guy trafficks in lies.
Beysshoes: if so, the tales he reports are only full of love and hope.
Beysshoes: he's not hurting anyone.

Easter was a drag:

Beysshoes: my mom didn't believe in candy so we had

those li'l boxes of raisins instead in our baskets.

Handling Nagual:

BinxB91: Most people enter and say "hello" but NAGS

would enter and say "my God you people are such idiots"

and then stay for 2 hours
Ta21l: I miss that
Ta21l: the best way to get him to shut up was to flirt with him

Cute Carrots:

Prospect26: We got bunnies today. And lambs, 3 white and

1 black, And charming little carrots that I couldn't bear to

open (today).

Reunion:

Bludahlias: PENROD
Penrod59: hello blu
Bludahlias: the sexiest man alive
Penrod59: how's your vagina?

Bludahlias: excellent
Bludahlias: i just masturbated

Who's down for Onion:

Trails64: patient, youre the guy in every chat thats supposed to
be the "obnoxious one"..but youre not quite there! you come off
kinda lame to me!! the kind that will take offense to that and
wanna play computer games,which im down for;-)