Life After Death (leftovers)

You know ... I'm not really interested in what you
all are wearing. Through KatyTried entries
(somewhat enlarged by my own imagination), I do
have my pictures of activities some of you may be
involved in. The clothes you're wearing are
secondary.

Cordialcactus - Furiously peddling her bicycle
with two toddlers in tow trying to catch the
ice cream truck.

NoraMcKee - Riding on a dolly being crashed into
a wall by a co-worker.

SleepyEyedEvie - Gently smiling at a customer's graceless
comments while resisting pressing a plate of pancakes into
his chest.

SummersEveL - Shaking her head trying not to say "I told you
so" while observing the front end of the receptionist's car
through the opposite side of the office wall.

Melodramamama - Pouting while her children gobble their
desserts leaving her with none.

Anais - Dreaming of her husband coming home from work while
picking up the toys

CreepyLoner - Walking through a graveyard at midnight carrying
a glow stick on her way to buy creamer at the convenience store.

Beysshoes - Counting the houses she's walked by as her whippet
pulls ever forward. Seeing all of Hawaii's green, as she vaguely
misses Maine's frozen pines.

PatientOnion - Spilling a bag of groceries on a hill and noting
that oranges roll further in San Francisico than they would in most
other cities.

ParaMyrh (AlanSueton) - Drafting a new manual for his company's
improved Customer Sevices practices.

Godwit - Instructing his diner waitress that it isn't proper
for her to address him as "you guys"

DoomGrl - Reading poetry with her father


Candy Girl:
AmberDevilRay8: I wish humans had more than one set of teeth
to lose.

BookSlut Blues:
BinxB91: Can anyone recommend an obscure and obtuse Eastern European
novelist?
Fleurdelochi: uh.....
CordialCactus: lol, binx, i most definitely cannot
BinxB91: oh shoot, BookSlut already moved on
BinxB91: that little dickens
Fleurdelochi: i can recomend an obscure and obtuse latin american
novelist, will that work?
Fleurdelochi: i'm not really hip to eastern europe
BinxB91: Never mind, Fleur. I was just messing with BOOKGASM
Fleurdelochi: well damn
Fleurdelochi: i feel so USED

After Years of Nursing Training:
Fleurdelochi: herpes is not a good idea

Looking for Friends in All the Wrong Places:
Jessied200010400: B00KGASM [12:25 A.M.]: Don't contact me any
more you needy suckling.

Anagram?:
PatientOnion3: the wrestler was just a remake of the gladiator

TMI:
Melodramamama22: binx, i have pneumonia. i'm wearing some yoga
pants and my daughter's t-shirt

"you two are freaks"
Melodramamama22: my kids made me laugh, they put their money together
and bought the soundtract to o brother
Melodramamama22: when it first came out
Melodramamama22: they were like preteens
Melodramamama22: i was all omg, you two are freaks!

Because They'd Spoil the Recipe:
PatientOnion3: i have no minions

Book Contract:
JFWaterman: -signed a contract for one of my books today, too-
Raphael11110: what's it about?
JFWaterman: Sci-fi, time travel, law enforcement all in one, Raph.
JFWaterman: My agent wants to pitch it, so we'll see who bites.

Helpful Onion and Oooolijay??:
Dehft m19u3l: well i have to get ready to watch friday 13 with my gf.
thanks ONION AND OOOOLIJAY for your guys's help!!

Second Opinion:
BobsurAuntTom: Chatrooms are stupid and I'm a moron for being in one.
JadedDremer: especially in that color, bob

Evolution:
AmberDevilRay8: The evolution of the chatroom is what fascinated me.
BinxB91: evolution?
AmberDevilRay8: I'm sure the programmers of the chat room were all
excitied about allowing people from all around the world to share ideas
and culture and whatnot...
AmberDevilRay8: ...instead they get a bunch of people sitting around
going "I like cookies! LOLOMG I M l33t h4><0r!"

Published:
oooolijay: i think half the people in author's lounge consider typing
into a chatroom being 'published'
BobsurAuntTom: I have had really good reviews in important publications,
but I've never published anything.

The Pain of Poetry:
Raphael11110: so Lil why you like poetry?
LilPoet1624: idk i have so much emotion and its liek i put all my
emotion into my work and thats how i relieve stress.........or i
just argue with ppl 4 no reason
oooolijay: wow, like, even that sentence was poetic

Odd Drinking Songs:
McLaryn5508: CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM
CordialCactus: snip snip snip snip snip snip snip
MsVictoriaLynn1: VASECTOMY!
Tammylovesooli: Yeah what vicky said!
ThePaIeRlDER: they fit to tight mary
ThePaIeRlDER: im cloisterphobic
McLaryn5508: hurl
oooolijay: that's a funny typo
McLaryn5508: get a vasectomy
CordialCactus: lol
MsVictoriaLynn1: try a damn fire hose then

Fandom:
Tammylovesooli: Hi Ooooli

What About Leaving the Mold On?:
KissMyAsterix: this guy I used to work with
KissMyAsterix: I was saying he'd scrape mold off of anything
KissMyAsterix: nothing phased him, food wise
KissMyAsterix: holocaust survivor
Tallthinjones: he could handle it

Next Pi to the 26th place:
KissMyAsterix: my son has memorized 911

Can You Top This?:
Condorblues: they got some real ball busters in here
Tallthinjones: condor ate tainted peanut butter served on hardtac
MsVictoriaLynn1: with extra Vermin

Trust Her on this One:
Condorblues: ooools!
Condorblues: I'm shrinking
oooolijay: how can we tell

Movie Reviews That Never Happened:
Condorblues: I saw coraline today, a weird flick
Tallthinjones: how so, condor?
MsVictoriaLynn1: isn't that a pasta dish, Vermincelli?

Gina As Drill Sergeant:
Yossarian4now: staring at a plate of cassarole
Yossarian4now: i havent had a cassarole since i was like
Yossarian4now: 12?
KissMyAsterix: it won't eat itself
KissMyAsterix: get to work
Yossarian4now: not hungry


I Thought Zen meant "peace":
Zenchef2006: and one of the students asked if i would teach him
some mixed martial arts stuff today
KissMyAsterix: how'd that work out zen
Zenchef2006: scraped my knuckles while punching him in the ribs,
forgot to tell him to take off his gi
Zenchef2006: was great kiss, got to choke and armbar alot of people
today
KissMyAsterix: I'm envious zen
KissMyAsterix: I didn't get to choke anyone today
Zenchef2006: although i did get slammed on my head pretty hard
tonite too

ParaMyrrh Power:
Catpower777: oh, did Para win an Oscar?
KissMyAsterix: no
KissMyAsterix: but he said if he did
KissMyAsterix: he would pick on people who didn't like him
Beysshoes: lol that punk para
Catpower777: he already does that
KissMyAsterix: that's what I said
Catpower777: he'd just do it in front of a bigger audience?
KissMyAsterix: but apparently it means more if you're successful
Catpower777: oh, I see
Beysshoes: the pig would never leave the stage.

["The apocalyptic crotch himself."
"Don't be funny," he said. "Do that one thing for me, Bucky.
Avoid all funny stuff. I'm cold and tired. I need to be
talked to seriously. Jet lag, fear, anxiety, depession. You
know my history."
"Want some cocoa? Good and hot."]

Speak of the Devil:
Catpower777: Para !
Catpower777: were your ears burning?
Beysshoes: we was just trashin' yoh ass
Alansueton: nope just my loins
Beysshoes: ew
Beysshoes: ew
Beysshoes: and ew
Alansueton: cool
Alansueton: i need to be humbled

Mysteries That No One wants Solved:
PatientOnion3: bey, how come you are the only one to comment on kal's
poems?
PatientOnion3: and why did he change his sn?
PatientOnion3: anybody know?
Catpower777: I wonder how many Sn's he's had over the years
PatientOnion3: do you guys like chicken nuggets? i am doing 3 THREE!!!
diff batters
PatientOnion3: indian, mexican, hillbilly


Onion's World:
PatientOnion3: we had TWO days of rain, our budget problem is solved,
there is light at the end of the tunnel, so i have to get rich and
famous before the obama cures the depression
PatientOnion3: time is running out
KissMyAsterix: somehow I think you could still take a day or two off
PatientOnion3: it was funny last night, poor halfwit jam blaming the
govt for screwing up his mortgage
PatientOnion3: he said he had to sell veggies from his garden to make
the payments
PatientOnion3: i almost cried
PatientOnion3: yes, his cardboard shack that he paid $350.00 for
Catpower777: I'm choking


Another Onion Straight Man:
SemiLitterate: Wife made bean soup today with a ham bone in it
----Campbells eat your heart out
PatientOnion3: semi, you lucky dog you
PatientOnion3: you must be some catch
SemiLitterate: leftover from a baked ham, duh
PatientOnion3: from xmas?
PatientOnion3: is it green?


When Beysshoes is Away:
PatientOnion3: is bey suicidal again?
PatientOnion3: it's from reading kal's poetry
KissMyAsterix: no, homicidal
Catpower777: she's probably cooking a steak for her pup
Catpower777: it's Sunday night


He Can't Really Cook:
PatientOnion3: 95% of previous attempts at deep frying have
miserably failed, but 2nite i got lucky
PatientOnion3: it must be the rain
Catpower777: how can deep frying fail?
Catpower777: did you forget to batter?
SemiLitterate: Oil was congealed
SemiLitterate: rancid
PatientOnion3: i took a walk in the rain, a nap, and am ready to
deep fry again


ParaMyrrh Exposed:
PatientOnion3: bey, how much does kal pay you to read his poems
Beysshoes: not a lot onion
Beysshoes: fiddy cents a pome

Onion Ecstatic:
SemiLitterate: put the mayo in a plastic baggie, insert meat & coat
PatientOnion3: semi, when you said "insert meat" i got a B*NER. STOP IT!
PatientOnion3: you are married, don't be a tease
Beysshoes: semi, you don't have to fabricate a wife to keep onion at bay.
PatientOnion3: oh
Beysshoes: we're here to protect you
PatientOnion3: he has cable
KissMyAsterix: we are?
Beysshoes: you lazy beach gina


Thoughts on Missing Shelfers:
SemiLitterate: I think Godwit ran off with Creepy
KissMyAsterix: interesting theory semi
NotNycgirl: how did you come to this semi?
KissMyAsterix: so the park thing was just a date then
SemiLitterate: no Creepy, no Godwit, simple deduction
KissMyAsterix: yes but fork is missing
KissMyAsterix: and who else..
SemiLitterate: Fork is missing when he is here
Beysshoes: that makes sense. the no-sex couple. yes.
some symmetry.
KissMyAsterix: beys, godwit says he's a 'normal' man
KissMyAsterix: with a predilection for watching men get it on
in the park and a love of daniel day lewis
Beysshoes: well, sadly gina...in this cesspool of a chatroom
he's pretty near norm.


The anit-Brad Pitt Crowd:
Beysshoes: onion did you watch the oscars? i wanted mickey rourke
to win. but sean penn was a good second for me

Oscar and Homer:
Beysshoes: sorry. i forgot you dont have a tv homer
PatientOnion3: i have a perfectly fine tv w/a knob to change the
channels, and a high-tech converter box
SemiLitterate: If I had to watch the oscars I would have to off
myself---bunch of egotistical perverts
Beysshoes: wow onion. you must've made some money over the holidays
PatientOnion3: money?
PatientOnion3: it's only $20
PatientOnion3: if you get the $40 coupon from obama
KissMyAsterix: cool
KissMyAsterix: I never have coupons when I need them

Muskrats are like that:
Jimberkeley: anything by captain & tenniel makes me cry...
especially 'muskrat love'

Sweetness:
Anais3233: it's like, "hey, will you lick my pussy" and he does.
and likewise

This is the End.

Mystery Solved:
Will C Makepeace: howdy
Will C Makepeace: thought i'd come online for a bit


WELCOME BACK BEYSSHOES:
Beysshoes: i dont get the funnies in this one.
Jam7604801: one flew over the coo coo's nest in beys pants
Beysshoes: uhm thats spelled cuckoo stoopid jam
MsVictoriaLynn1: A Beautiful Mind in my pants
NotNycgirl: Saving Private Ryan.....in my pants
AmberDevilRay8: The Iron Giant in my pants
NotNycgirl: Some Like It Hot, in my pants
Pheziwig: The Grapes of Wrath in my Pants
oooolijay: beys this is fun, just try it in my pants
Catpower777: Bey, I have missed you
NotNycgirl: The Sting in my pants
Catpower777: I'm so glad you're back
oooolijay: beys just made me laugh in my pants
Pheziwig: The Audacity of Hope in my Pants
AmberDevilRay8: Journey to the Center of my pants.
oooolijay: good try in my pants
AmberDevilRay8: Are we allowed to take words out?
NotNycgirl: Cool Hand Luke in my pants....what we have here,
is a failure to communicate in my pants
Pheziwig: Websters Dictionary in my Pants
MsVictoriaLynn1: Grays Anatomy in my pants
oooolijay: there are no rules in my pants
Tammynet: doing it with kid movies is just wrong...toy story
in my pants, finding nemo in my pants
Summers Eve L: What you people are doing is just sad. In my pants.
Pheziwig: Skinny Bitch in my Pants
oooolijay: finding nemo in my pants hahaha
AmberDevilRay8: So I could be all "Nuts.....in my pants."
Beysshoes: damn it kitkat i'm freezing up ... i missed you MORE!
MsVictoriaLynn1: Monsters Inc in my pants
Summers Eve L: Sleeping Beauty in my pants.
Jam7604801: mission impossible in oooli's pants
Tammynet: jack and the beanstalk in my pants
MsVictoriaLynn1: Seven Dwarves in my pants
Pheziwig: The Devil Wears Prada in my Pants
oooolijay: it's only impossible for some in my pants
MsVictoriaLynn1: The Devil wears Prada because she can afford to
MsVictoriaLynn1: I would not, could not, in my pants
Pheziwig: tune in next week when we do major appliances
oooolijay: i will unfortunately be unable to attend the party in
your pants rider
AmberDevilRay8: Death Comes for the Archbishop in my pants.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Death takes a Holiday in my pants
oooolijay: jaws in my pants
ThePaIeRlDER: ouch

Bob's Wish:
BobsurAuntTom: I'm just hoping someone is logging all this to
send to Binx
Catpower777: Bob, that's your job
BobsurAuntTom: That asshole in my pants


Pot/Poot/Fishman:
BobsurAuntTom: I don't even like pot.. but what's the big deal.
oooolijay: when your kid starts smoking pot he'll like
michael phelps again
Beatnikspore: phelps is a dumby who thinks playing poker and
dating a topless dancer is mature
BobsurAuntTom: The guy trains 15 hours a day... who cares if he
gets high.
oooolijay: michael phelps is a kid
AnnAsphodel: My 13 year-old son does, Bob
Alansueton: AA I can't wait for the new record to come out
NotNycgirl: micheal phelps is a 14 time olympic medalist lol
oooolijay: how many guys his age dont want to play poker and
date a topless dancer
Alansueton: Ive heard two singles off of it good stuff
NotNycgirl: if he wants to smoke pot, let him snoke pot
BobsurAuntTom: I wonder how Phelps spells dummy?
BobsurAuntTom: Anyone care to venture a guess?
Beatnikspore: if my wealth was attached to my image i would not
play it up in the press
Summers Eve L: If he wants to snoke poot, I say let him.
oooolijay: he just became wealthy...he's not used to it yet
BobsurAuntTom: Ann, I need to speak to that boy. Ann, I never
even enjoyed getting high... and I've got to say that I am NOT
getting 100 million in endorsement deals.
Alansueton: people who smoke pot are losers Now if you snort
coke that's cool
Beatnikspore: whissing and pasting and pooting all the way,
ronnie helping kenny burn is poots away
NotNycgirl: i love phelps,he's my man fish
Summers Eve L: haha
Summers Eve L: Beatnik. Wtfever you just said. It made me laugh.


Texas Fun Facts:
Summers Eve L: There's no basement in the Alamo!

Leave It To Ozzie:
Pheziwig: Speaking of the Alamo, I remember when Ozzy Osbourne
got arrested for taking a leak against the wall of the Alamo.
As the cops lead him away, he said, "I didn't know anybody
lived there."

Why 12 Isn't Often on This Blog:
I2DaysInNovember: I knew this guy once... and
I2DaysInNovember: it turned out
I2DaysInNovember: that
I2DaysInNovember: I didn't really know him at all



What the Hell Are They Talking About
(category I wish I thought of before):

Prospect26: so m. phelsh was just on tv/

Mdm Mel: Now Faye Dunnaway is spinning out. The cheese is
sliding off the cracker all over the place....

Gleam1946: Like darwinism everbody is equal
Gleam1946: you guys are the final arbiters
Gleam1946: I have facts others say are contrived and bogus

Niontron9: it does not matter what other people think about you
...because they will never be YOU

BobsurAuntTom: Many many Vonneguts
BobsurAuntTom: All too many.
BobsurAuntTom: But, the guy was a damn good and even important
writer, so why not.



Katie and Sarah - together again:
BinxB91: Butterfly, name a favorite book
ButterflyBikini: i just finished Heart of the Sea
BinxB91: Heart of the Sea?
ButterflyBikini: it's not my favorite
ButterflyBikini: Stolen lives was pretty good
ButterflyBikini: and Reading Lolita in Tehran
ButterflyBikini: i'd prefer family guy
Pheziwig: This is like a Palin interview


Apropos of Nothing:
Prospect26: I don't really care anymore
EmpressZ21: dont care about what prospect


What are you wearing?:

Summers Eve L: I am wearing fuzzy PJs.
Summers Eve L: And fuzzy socks.

MsVictoriaLynn1: Les Miz tour T shirt, pajama pants and
slippers, what did you Expect?


What's Your Genre?:
Spookyfish2: I loved pre-1996 Simpsons.

Hoosier Daddy?:
MyStrat: summer, ever read a book by Kurt Vonnegut,
God Bless you Mr Rosewater
Anais3233: i have a signed copy of that downstairs, strat
Anais3233: me lovie kurt
Anais3233: heart heart heart him

Make Her an Offer She Can't ...:
Prospect26: Lady...can I talk to you off line?


Johnny Carsonisms:
Pheziwig: It was so cold in chicago for so long, I walked
past a statue and it was shivering
Pheziwig: It was so cold in Chicago, I saw a lawyer with his
hands in his own pockets


Don Rickle's daughter:
Poor Bidet: speaking of nasty details, there's bgrant

Poor Bidet: when you get fat, you turn to pbs


So There:
BobsurAuntTom: And dipship Mel, if you want to compare reading
lists, go ahead. But yes, I know far more about art or
literature than you would ever know.

Get This:
Alansueton: Bidet why can't Ray Charles read?
Poor Bidet: because he's a nigger?
Poor Bidet: i'm sorry, i meant because he's blind

Flexible Bigot:
Poor Bidet: i'm switching to mexicans

Authors Lounge's Slum:
WildCIAagent: I find it idiotic when AL comes through.
Catpower777: oh, when they stop by to tell us this room sucks?
I2DaysInNovember: well I think the shelf is sometimes a holding
pattern for those who are circling around the AL when it's full
Catpower777: yes and they make that plain, 12
Catpower777: CIA, I'm thinking it's just their friendly reminder
that we're the nerd chatroom
I2DaysInNovember: <~~~putting on nerd glasses and pocket
protector and IMing Cat for some hot cyber calculator chat

Nerd Cyber Sex:
I2DaysInNovember: Cat did you get my IM where I said the
new TI2x did linear equations in polar notation and limicon radial
counter vortixes? it's really Hot!!!
Catpower777: oh 12, don't get me all worked up in front of the
whole chatroom !

Except in the Extreme:
I2DaysInNovember: boring isn't gossip worthy


To Tell the Truth:
WildCIAagent: How was your day, Lam?
Lamumsie: this is Laura
EmpressZ21: no this is Laura
AXELvonAUR: Laura Petrie?
Lamumsie: nooooooo, THIS is Laura
AXELvonAUR: I'm jumpy
EmpressZ21: yes this is Laura
I2DaysInNovember: :::drool::: Laura was
WildCIAagent: Someone call DR LAURA!
AXELvonAUR: what is Laura's last name in that Gene Tierny movie?

Medical Dictionary Fun:
OderusMobius: the body also releases prolactin when it sneezes
Spookyfish2: Oderus must have picked up the Medical
Encyclopedia that I threw away.
Spookyfish2: The one that grossed me out with its entries on
"Jogger's Nipple" and "smegma"


PatientOnion's Most Excellent Set-Up:
BinxB91: I've had jogger's nipple a lot
AnnAsphodel: Binx, use band-aids
BobsurAuntTom: Ann, what is your favorite city in Europe that
you've been to?
AnnAsphodel: Lucerne Switzerland
BinxB91: I used cole cream too ... but sometimes you're a few
miles out, then what
AnnAsphodel: It's cold cream, Binxie
BinxB91: cold cream??? I felt I had it wrong
BinxB91: I knew it wasn't coal cream
BobsurAuntTom: Really... what about Lucerne dis you especially
like?
AnnAsphodel: I enjoyed the lovely bridge across Lake Lucerne.
It's since burned down, I think.
FoodSIut: the bridge burned down after the coal cream dust explosion

Suicide Prevention:
Spookyfish2: They're building a net under the Golden Gate bridge.
Spookyfish2: Which is dumb.
MsVictoriaLynn1: in case it falls Amber?
Spookyfish2: People will just find another place to kill themselves.
BinxB91: why is it dumb?
BinxB91: Spooky is Amber?
MsVictoriaLynn1: they will jump off the edge of the net

Impressing Her Husband:
Spookyfish2: When I moved to California I had my friend in
Florida record Jeopardy and then email it to me.
Spookyfish2: And when it aired here 3 hours later I'd impress my
husband by getting every single answer right.

Cheese Danish?:
Spookyfish2: Every cheese snack sounds dirty.
Spookyfish2: Cheese whiz.
Spookyfish2: Cheese doodle.

OctoMom moments:
Pheziwig: So, what you are saying is that this single woman
who already had six kids was getting pumped up with fertility
drugs?
I2DaysInNovember: Amber can you imagine? you probably
don't have any kids yet but 14 kids how can she breast
feed that many?
Beysshoes: one can hire a wet nurse nova
Pheziwig: Six wasn't enough?
Beysshoes: obama says the enough number is eight.
I2DaysInNovember: Beys she'll need more than one

Bathroom Blues:
Pheziwig: If they are all girls, they'll need at least four bathrooms
Pheziwig: I got a buddy who has a wife and three daughters. He walks
over to the gas station every evening to get the paper and sit in
their mens room.

Beysshoes and Phezziwhig - together again:
Beysshoes: 1 in 15 peeps are now unemployed in our country
Pheziwig: 1 in 15 people are unemployed in this country but I just
heard why from Bush. The chick with the 14 kids blew out the
stats


12Days' Joke:
12DaysInNovember: "Good morning or afternoon sir or maddam, Thanks
you for calling the Hewlet Packard technical support hotline. My
namd is Trivanpradesh Vittontwawtanasatid Kalalripalalyatu -
I am wanting to be telling you that all or portions of
I2DaysInNovember: this discussion may be recorded for quality purposes"
I2DaysInNovember: Wai!!1 what did you say your name was?
I2DaysInNovember: "Trivanpradesh Vittontwawtanasatid Kalalripalalyatu"
I2DaysInNovember: uhhh how do you spell that?
I2DaysInNovember: T
I2DaysInNovember: R
I2DaysInNovember: I
I2DaysInNovember: sir nevermind that now
I2DaysInNovember: plaease slowly and clearly state your name and phone
number and the problem you are experiencing with your Hewlet Packard
product
I2DaysInNovember: Bill


There's a joke in here somewhere:
JadedDremer: i bought all 3 seasons of Arrested Development

Amber's Friends:
AmberDevilRay8: I'm worried where this might lead...this guy has
already told me little green men come to this planet to suck my
toes. =\
MsVictoriaLynn1: Damn Amber that's MY job...:(
AmberDevilRay8: Egad.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Never let me have any fun
MsVictoriaLynn1: brb I'm going to pout and get coffee


Men Will Brag About Anything:
Beatnikspore: Lynn i have never needed a laxative
Beatnikspore: but i can eat a string of figs and hold my own.
so to speak
MsVictoriaLynn1: Damn it, I like a man who can hold his figs

Amber on the Edge:
AmberDevilRay8: Just when I get my wee one to sleep, she wakes
back up.
AmberDevilRay8: I'm considering spiking her food with NyQuil.
AmberDevilRay8: I'm kidding. Please don't report me. brb
Beatnikspore: amber goes to dump the nyquil

Who Do You Love:
Condorblues: small room tonight
Condorblues: who scared them away?
Beysshoes: well, i heard phrons was here earlier condor


Deep Thoughts by Condorblues:
Condorblues: I was thinking about how people say they would
rather die than be paralyzed and have someon wiping their butt
for them
Condorblues: and I thought, if I was paralyzed, the highlight of
the day would be someone wiping my butt, I would be looking
forward to it


The Best Defence is:
MsVictoriaLynn1: mend any fences that need mending
KissMyAsterix: you don't have to forgive everyone or mend every fence
MsVictoriaLynn1: Some can't be mended
KissMyAsterix: some shouldn't
Beysshoes: fences serve a lot of purposes. really.
KissMyAsterix: high ones
Beysshoes: and you can't just go tearing down someone elses fence
you know?
Condorblues: a fence is a fence


[They had talked many words before but never the right words that
might have brought them close beyond suspense.]


What Binx Thinks:
Beysshoes: do you know binx doesn't think that rono is sick? sheesh.
KissMyAsterix: he thinks he's dead?
MsVictoriaLynn1: Rono sane is even more frightening
KissMyAsterix: that's the only other alternative



Generation Xers:
MsVictoriaLynn1: Lighten up, bucky
Yossarian4now: ok dude

Sympathy Lacking:
Yossarian4now: god i'm lost
Beysshoes: get a st jude pendant yoss


They Should Have Been Army:
KissMyAsterix: what color will you get me
Beysshoes: pink of course silly
KissMyAsterix: pink huh
KissMyAsterix: I'm not really a pink person
Beysshoes: okay, you can have the purple
KissMyAsterix: how about green
Beysshoes: the olive or sage?
Beysshoes: mint i should say
Beysshoes: okay so i'm boring. just be rude and not answer. oof
KissMyAsterix: sage
KissMyAsterix: I was thinking
Beysshoes: bye already. i have writing to do. nolo you're
too rude and late. its olive for you
KissMyAsterix: dammit olive
KissMyAsterix: I'm not sure I like that
Beysshoes: don't complain or you be back on pink
KissMyAsterix: pink may be better than olive


Women and Math:
MsVictoriaLynn1: This kind of sucks
Beysshoes: how much vicky?


European Tales:
Alansueton: I feel like I am being made fun of In Europe
it's normal to wear speedos
oooolijay: that would really just be a band
AmberDevilRay8: Yeah, but...that's Europe.
oooolijay: okay brb...i'm going to get some popcorn
Alansueton: yeah where people respect and show off their bodies
and where most people aren't waddling lard asses like here
AnnAsphodel: I'm going to sleep.
Tammynet: nite ann
AmberDevilRay8: European men are God's gag gift to women.
AmberDevilRay8: Well...the French men.
CordialCactus: im just not mature enough to rise above the speedo
Tammynet: where at in europe does this speedo thing happen alan
CordialCactus: its me, not you, alan
CordialCactus: though, surf shorts are sexier
JunkedLTD: he had a zeppelin in his speedo
Alansueton: Cannes, France Sitges, Spain Greece everywhere
Alansueton: everywhere
JunkedLTD: redneck riviera
AmberDevilRay8: Any country where the residents would commit
suicide during a brie shortage.
JunkedLTD: lol!
JunkedLTD: latvia
JunkedLTD: i'm out
JunkedLTD: happy schlong chattng
AmberDevilRay8: I'm assuming it's mostly the Mediterranean area.
Alansueton: yeah
Alansueton: where men are real men


Various Commits Manslaughter:
Calalily742: any writers?
Calalily742: any advice for the aspiring kind?
MsVictoriaLynn1: just write, practice and have fun with it,
write anything that comes to mind
BinxB91: Cala, write every day
MsVictoriaLynn1: Yes, what Binx said
Beysshoes: Cala, join some online writers groups and workshops
BinxB91: Cala, write letters to people
Various704: cala, ask the authors lounge. they are very kind and
helpful in there
KissMyAsterix: and you say I'm mean various

News Crawl Gone Wild:
Prospect26: s...our secretary of commerce is from NH...
check your stats.

Making Selah Feel Good:
BobsurAuntTom: I mean, once you get a job unless you're a
complete fuck-up, you don't get fired.
Selah3221: really? that's.....not my experience
SteveIzHere7: I've never been fired.
Selah3221: maybe I am a complete fuck up
SteveIzHere7: but I've quit a few times
Selah3221: I was fired twice in NYC
SteveIzHere7: if the job sucks
BobsurAuntTom: Did you show up for your job?
Selah3221: yes

Phezi Having a Bad Day:
MerlinTheSmarty: Please check my profile.
MerlinTheSmarty: I am 1469 years old.
MerlinTheSmarty: My gender is WIZARD
Pheziwig: I swear to God, every crackpot on the internet

BeeGees:
Pheziwig: You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a chinese
cook, no time to talk

America the Beautiful:
Pheziwig: We are a tolerant nation, otherwise we would have hunted
the BeeGees for sport

Phezi as Dating Expert:
Kan wa ma kan: xenes you are pretty
Xenesthis41886: lol ty
Xenesthis41886: how come i cant find a guy then
Pheziwig: You want a guy? Find a woman who has two and make
friends with her

Like Shindler's List With Curry:
Rafo65: I liked Slumdog Millionaire very much
Rafo65: It made my own life look almost bearable..


Best Simile:
Pheziwig: <---listening to 21st Century Schizoid Man by
King Krimson and you guys are not fitting in with the music
Pheziwig: It's like the kmher rouge walks into a tupperware party

Best Metaphor:
Alansueton: and the funny thing is most of the truth, info,
is from Israeli Newspapers US papers are afraid to print the truth
Poor Bidet: u.s. papers are pussies
Poor Bidet: is that what you're trying to say?
Poor Bidet: u.s. papers are the BINXB91 of international journalism

Best Typo:
AmberDevilRay8: I'm eating rice cakes. I'm boring. =(
AmberDevilRay8: I like 'em 'cause they're crunchy.
AmberDevilRay8: I have to eat the flavored ones though.
AmberDevilRay8: Eating the palin ones is like munching on styrofoam.
AmberDevilRay8: *plain
Fleurdelochi: palin makes rice cakes now?
Kan wa ma kan: they are moose flavored


Divine Intervention:
Kan wa ma kan: i am eating a butterscotch candy
Kan wa ma kan: i do believe this is the first i have had in
over a decade
Kan wa ma kan: i forgot how divine they are

Phezi at a Funeral:
Pheziwig: I have a friend who speaks Latin and his daughter's
goldfish died. We had a funeral, and he spoke over the fish
in Latin. It was the lyrics to the Beatles song Let it Be.
I almost lost it. LOL


I Got the Spurs That Don't Jingle Jangle:
Beysshoes: binx is very trusty ms vicky.
MsVictoriaLynn1: yes I know, I like him
MsVictoriaLynn1: we IM on occasion
Beysshoes: yes. he's decent.
MsVictoriaLynn1: I probably should have just had sense to ask
HIM why he did the blog..
Beysshoes: its okay. he doesn't jangle easily
Beysshoes: he's like a white obama. ha


[Clearly he was destroying himself, and knew it but couldn't stop.
It was all made so easy. His world was narrow, stifling narrow,
and yet he knew no alternatives. He honestly faced up to all the
questions, and asked them ruthlessly over and over, but they were
the wrong questions. Round and round he went: you need new ques-
tions before you can get new answers.
It appeared, however, that for the time being Hector would survive.
He didn't know why. Perhaps because he had a sense of humor, and
therefore his thoughts began to bore him and he could allow himself
to be charmed and calmed by the water. Perhaps life just wasn't
tough enough for him.]


BookShelf History:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I sometimes wonder about Binx
Beysshoes: vicky what is there to wonder about binx?
MsVictoriaLynn1: I can not fathom why the blog is so important,
but then again, I do not have to
MsVictoriaLynn1: so its rhetorical wondering, I guess
Beysshoes: he's unusual in that he's one of the rare regular guys
who don't game. the blog?
Beysshoes: many of us love the blog vicky
Beysshoes: and its part of the chatrooms history
MsVictoriaLynn1: it makes more sense now
MsVictoriaLynn1: Oh its fun to read but its a lot of work
MsVictoriaLynn1: Ahh... see, that I did not know
Beysshoes: binx likes work vicky
MsVictoriaLynn1: now I see the light, so to speak
MsVictoriaLynn1: makes perfect sense now then


BookShelf Explained
Ttwifan4ever: so is this a room to talk about rooms and authors and
stuff?
oooolijay: and stuff

SORTA FUN


Any questions?:
oooolijay: knock your wife up yet?
Trvsbckl912: yeah, she's pregnant

Freed from the Cellar:
Tammynet: i just got invited to dinner upstairs!
woo hoo! bbl

Julie and Alan - together again:
oooolijay: i would have probably been killed by ted bundy
BinxB91: Julie, you accept rides from strangers?
Alansueton: binx what do you mean by "rides"?

Crossing Anais's Line:
Melodramamama22: sometimes you do stuff cause somebody else
thinks its the dogs bollocks, you know?
Anais3233: uh
KissMyAsterix: yeah, what's wrong with them
AnonyMitch: hells bells
Melodramamama22: and hey, woohoo
EmpressZ21: she means cat's ass trollop
Anais3233: let's not talk about the dog's bollocks, that
crosses MY line.

Lost and Found:
Melodramamama22: i don't have a gspot i can't find it and
nobody else can either
oooolijay: you do melo
Melodramamama22: hell no i don't, lol
Anais3233: well, there are no other fluids that would be
secreted from the urinary tract or bladder.
Melodramamama22: if i do, it's defective
Anais3233: i have never been able to find my g spot either
EmpressZ21: yes trollop butim speaking of fluids from another
bathing suit area
Anais3233: and that's not for trying
KissMyAsterix: lack of you mean?
KissMyAsterix: usually someone else finds it for you anais
oooolijay: where are you guys looking for it?
Anais3233: i've had a million probes in search of it
AnonyMitch: bathing suit area. nice euphemism.
oooolijay: it's right where they say it is
Melodramamama22: this is no shit. we printed instructions for
finding it off the internet.
Anais3233: um, vaginal discharges would not shoot out of your
urethra
LadyQuasi: ejaculation is merely either stress incontinence or
vaginal lubrication
LadyQuasi: according to Wikipedia
Melodramamama22: it involved squatting over a mirror, if you
were on your own
EmpressZ21: ummm but they would mix with other fluids trollop
EmpressZ21: you see what im sayin here
EmpressZ21: they dont stay unmixed like beans and mashed potatos
oooolijay: beans and mashed potatoes
Anais3233: lol right, but if it was dribbling
PRobin5478: melo -- women squatting is already a good thing
Melodramamama22: not such a good visual
Anais3233: but this shoots out
Anais3233: have you seen a squirter porn

Doom, see above:
DoomGrl: we just had a real long discussion about button making


Best Singles Ad:
Djangette: --- can bite my own toenails

It Just Doesn't Add Up:
Tom Brite: damn this is one homoerotic room
Alansueton: sorry Tom
oooolijay: that's only because you're here, tom
Djangette: Speak for yourself Tom - I'm 100% heterosexual and comfy
Tom Brite: i'm 95/15
oooolijay: i'm about 85/15
oooolijay: maybe 90/10
oooolijay: it's a sliding scale
Alansueton: tom that equals 110


Book Discussion(almost):
Tj34: i just read a kingsley amis book on alcohol
Djangette: which one TJ?
Tj34: it was-hmm
Tj34: a comprehensive book not the diet one
Tj34: lucky jim is a great book
Djangette: loads of olduns in a pub?
Tj34: i like it when the tractor with the bedsprings slows him
down on the way to the train station
Djangette: yeah, I can't remember either ... too much Guinness
Tj34: and when he burned the matress and flipped it over
Djangette: yes TJ - it was called The something or others
Djangette: Companions?


Dj meets Rono:
Djangette: a sandwich short of a picnic?


What Are You Wearing?:

AnnAsphodel: Binx, I'm in my usual minx attire.

Calhounman9: im wearing blue jeans
Calhounman9: im a simple man

Summers Eve L: I'm wayaring my pjs.

Djangette: Binx - my usual gear

AmberDevilRay8: Pants and stuff.

oooolijay: black yoga pants and a grey Elizabet Ney t-shirt
Beysshoes: who's elizabeth ney?
oooolijay: she was a sculptor

Beysshoes: some new flannel shorts and new old navy tank tops
and white sox

Tammynet: I am in my purple tweetie pjs



No one asked but ...:
Creepy Loner: Tonight Creepy is wearing a very fashionable
Pepto-Bismol-pink, four-point, Hudson's Bay blanket with an
olive green "rugby" shirt featuring a one-button, off-white
collar (the button is unbuttoned)...slightly greasy hair...and
Creepy Loner: socks with a penguin pattern.
Creepy Loner: [posing]



Not reaching O:
Summers Eve L: So. Do you all have plans for this weekend?
EmpressZ21: well i d but i dnt knw what they are all the
secret calls
EmpressZ21: my O is sticking and im gonna quit beating the
keyboard and correcting

Great Literature In the Works:
AmberDevilRay8: Perhaps you can help...
CordialCactus: i can sure try
AmberDevilRay8: Okay, you know how little kids will twist their
AmberDevilRay8: Heh. It's taken me all day.
CordialCactus: ok.. im going to throw out some words.,....maybe
that will lead to more thoughtstoe in the dirt, with their hands
behind their back?
AmberDevilRay8: ANd they're all "golly gee" and whatnot...
CordialCactus: right
AmberDevilRay8: If you wanted to describe that as a posture,
or a demeanor, what word would you use?
CordialCactus: oh.. hm.. this will take a moment
CordialCactus: garsh
AmberDevilRay8: Garsh.
AmberDevilRay8: Melikes that word.
CordialCactus: ok.. first thing i thought was bashful, shy, timid,
CordialCactus: but.. there has to be a phrase that would capture it
CordialCactus: in a clever way
AmberDevilRay8: I contemplated bashful.

The Old College Try:
AmberDevilRay8: Make something up and run with it. That's what
college is all about.

Doesn't Want to Play:
NotNycgirl: binx i would like to be removed
NotNycgirl: i dont want to be on it
Alansueton: [name deleted]this is a public chat room
NotNycgirl: i dont want my name involved in that

DOES Want to Play:
oooolijay: know what would be cool? if you glowed in the dark

Amber, Try Italian:
AmberDevilRay8: I used to think French was sexy until I had
a French neighbor.
AmberDevilRay8: "Ah-low, Ohm-bee-air!"

Julie Economizing:
oooolijay: i'm thinking of stopping the shaving

Julie's Inspiration?:
WildCIAagent: You know... that dog whisper show is almost good.
WildCIAagent: I love a man in need of a shave

Shaving Comes in Threes This Week:
Niontron9: one day I was shaving, when I was in school, in the
school bathroom, and the teacher saw me, after a test...and he
was like
Niontron9: "hey man, don't cut yourself because you did bad
on the test"

In Tj's posse:
Tallthinjones: fella gets out of a mental hospital, he keeps
shaving his body
Tallthinjones: the telephone wires were singing all the time.
it was a good approximation of mental illness
Tallthinjones: to cap it off he pried off his thumbnail

Cut then Pull:
Tallthinjones: well, what is the deal with these "cutters"?
AmberDevilRay8: Every "cutter" I've seen on the internet tells
me the same thing.
AmberDevilRay8: "Pain is a feeling, and I want to feel."
AmberDevilRay8: Something like that.
Tallthinjones: next it will be toothless "Pullers"


Beysshone Reaction - One Size Fits all:
Zenchef2006: beys, i had a tempura shrimp blow up in my face and
got an oil burn on my eye
Beysshoes: OMGOMGOMG


Serious Scag:
Bongoso: any good books?
Bongoso: I am reading:" 10 ways the ACLU is ruining america"
PRobin5478: lol bong -- must be a comic book
Bongoso: nope
Bongoso: serious scag

Hillary down with it:
Is She Weird 55: i just IMmed you dawg

Rememmbering Thinkers:
EDruezillaB: peggy?
Summers Eve L: You don't remember the nutjob that had an affair
with Beachpotato that began the asshat war of Thinkers? Really?
McLaryn5508: What were her other sn's one was REALTOR
EmpressZ21: how could you forget peggy
McLaryn5508: yup! That was one
EmpressZ21: the drama dominated that room for a month
until it imploded


What's in a Number?
CordialCactus: how far are you from major water?
ThePaIeRlDER: 5 minutes to gulf of mexico
WildCIAagent: WOW PALE
WildCIAagent: That is freaking close!
ThePaIeRlDER: yeah its not far
WildCIAagent: YIKES
ThePaIeRlDER: 5-7 min
WildCIAagent: deary me!
Tallthinjones: tammy, how close are you to water?
ThePaIeRlDER: depending where ya go
CordialCactus: how far inland are you, cia?
ThePaIeRlDER: the boat launch is about 15
Tammynet: I am 176 steps away from the beach
WildCIAagent: I just knew that was coming!
CordialCactus: lol tammy
CordialCactus: i love that
WildCIAagent: I'm guessing half an hour or more???
ThePaIeRlDER: thats close tammy
Tammynet: that is the stairs going down to the beach
WildCIAagent: I'll ask the MAN tomorrow... he's my map guy
Tammynet: yes
Tallthinjones: o.k. then how tall are you?
CordialCactus: loltall
CordialCactus: whats your stride length
WildCIAagent: I'm 5' 6"
Tammynet: i am 4' 10.5"
Tammynet: lol
WildCIAagent: OMG you are a shrimp!
CordialCactus: petite
ThePaIeRlDER: jesus tammy
WildCIAagent: hug hug
ThePaIeRlDER: doll size
CordialCactus: way to go guys
Tallthinjones: this is earthshaking news, tammy
WildCIAagent: How big are your feet, Tam?
Tammynet: apparently so Tall
Tammynet: i wear a 5
ThePaIeRlDER: thats small right?
Tallthinjones: chinese foot binding
ThePaIeRlDER: womans 5?
Tammynet: yes
ThePaIeRlDER: i have 11's
Tammynet: but i have wide feet
Tallthinjones: i saw a hoof print in my yard this morning.
babe the blue ox action
CordialCactus: alright.. tammy, you will always be my favorite
dork in the whole wide world... there are no height requirements
Tammynet: thank you Cactus!!!!
WildCIAagent: WOW... and you call me dork sometimes... I'm not
your fav?
CordialCactus: you are welcome
ThePaIeRlDER: do you need a pillow to drive tammy?
Tammynet: someone needs to send that to Katy Tried..it would be
silly if i did it


Natalie and the Boys:
Summers Eve L: Oh! Just so you know! I am totally excited about
seeing the new Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th.
Summers Eve L: I'm going with my best gurlfriends' boyfriends/
husbands. They don't want to go. So they are doing a gurls dinner
and we are meeting them after for drinks.


Apropos of Nothing:

Summers Eve L: I love those Life Savors suckers that come out
around Easter.

CordialCactus: i cant remember my sound

oooolijay: i loved when the hillbillies came into town to talk
to andy taylor

Tallthinjones: i like books where people don't have enough to eat

CordialCactus: I wonder why nyquil still makes the green flavor

Spookyfish2: My favorite smell in the world is a tennis ball. =\

Alansueton: I would never send a pic of my penis

Tom Brite: my therapist has moved to tokyo




Weight Watching:
EDruezillaB: one of the girls at my office was on weight watchers
and she had a "checkbook" of points to eat for the month of january
and she was out of points on jan 5

Slow Night on the Shelf:
Summers Eve L: I wonder how this banana/strawberry juice smoothie
would be mixed in with a glass of milk.

[Married, they'd stayed in her room for days before he left,
taking longer and longer as time ran out. He shoved the bed
against the wall and put the mattress on the floor. There
they woke and slept on a stable continent whose silence never
betrayed them, turning each other in circles like a clock
whose two hands remained in circular, continuous alarm.
Crying, Lola was nearly impassive, her face wet as though she
couldn't or wouldn't give into sobs. He'd never known a woman
who cried like her, like she'd forgotten she was ever a child.
Holding him with her silky hands, her face an inch from his,
she breathed into his mouth through parted lips, and her eyes
showed faint lines at the corners when she smiled. In five
years, she told him, she'd begin to look her age. Good, he'd
said, I'll be ready. They've been apart now longer than they
were together and he feels he's more than made up the eight
years between them. He can protect her now, even from herself,
from him.]





Playing With Your Food:
oooolijay: i swear, i get maybe half the popcorn in my mouth
oooolijay: the rest ends up in a pile all around me
oooolijay: in my hair
oooolijay: i get food in my bra
Summers Eve L: When I stir sauce.
Summers Eve L: I accidentally dip my damn boobs in it.
McLaryn5508: Do you cook naked?


Crabby Does Not Put Her in the Mood:
McLaryn5508: Dave is whiny and crabby. He wants sex and I am
SO NOT in the mood.

Creepy's Motivation:
Creepy Loner: I just finished reading THE RING...which was
sorta fun.
Creepy Loner: I'm into tacky and scary things at the moment.
oooolijay: that's why she came back to the shelf


Prospect's joke:
Prospect26: I am white, black and red.
oooolijay: a newspaper!
oooolijay: a zebra with a sunburn!

American Idol Forever:
Anais3233: what is up with simon's hair???

Odd Couple:
AXELvonAUR: The Shopaholic trailer on tv uses Disturbia

Beauty Knows No Pain:
Hickory49: plucking snatch just does not sound like a good time
AXELvonAUR: Hickory, probly nicer than waxing
Hickory49: ... waxing's gotta be easier than plucking ...
Summers Eve L: Why don't you boys go try both and report back to us.

Lady Mirth:
EmpressZ21: sunshine and rainbows and unicorns!
EmpressZ21: = Laura world
EmpressZ21: no Laura me
LadyMtnMedic: even unicorns have to take a sh*t

Wake Up Ralph!:
Raphael11110: I am going to venture into speculating that
Ana karenina was a remarkable woman surrounded by jerks
Raphael11110: or something like that
Sleepy Eyed Evie: not really raphael
Sleepy Eyed Evie: she's a married woman who has an affair and it
destroys her life
Sleepy Eyed Evie: and his
Raphael11110: Lady what was the novel about then?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i just told you raphael
Sleepy Eyed Evie: and actually i found it to be a pretty easy read.
its long but its not hard to read
Raphael11110: Sleep Lady said it was a long book it has to have
some sort of story to it
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i just told you what the story was dude

The News From Down Under:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: so federer destroyed roddick

Yours or Someone Else's?:
BobsurAuntTom: When I see the name Hermann Hesse, I feel like
popping zits

Jumping the Punchline:
BobsurAuntTom: I used to play tennis... then I found squash.
BobsurAuntTom: Squash is much, much better than tennis.
BobsurAuntTom: Y'know why?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: its a vegetable?

Future Poet Laureate:
CordialCactus: oh hey.. mom bragging moment.. 3 year old said
rice krispies sound like a campfire



Bob hits a triple:
BobsurAuntTom: Jesus was a bot in his day.
BobsurAuntTom: Apparently
LadyMtnMedic: he was?
BinxB91: what?
EmpressZ21: yeah huh?

Consumer Warning:
Tallthinjones: the ingredients in microwave popcorn are poison


Into the Microwave Popcorn:
oooolijay: there is a song about a houseboat i like
oooolijay: well, it's not about a houseboat
oooolijay: but it mentions a houseboat
oooolijay: i'd like to have a houseboat


Newbie Vs BookShelf:

1. Intro:
BarbareLMyKeeper: My name is not Barbarel
BarbareLMyKeeper: She is a friend.
BarbareLMyKeeper: They call me that.

2. Initial Contact:
BarbareLMyKeeper: common sense and use of some discrete intellect
BarbareLMyKeeper: Man people show basic lacks of higher education
these days.
Anais3233: uh
Anais3233: who invited the buzz kill?

3. Conflict:
BarbareLMyKeeper: Anais you would be kicked out of Princeton.
Anais3233: if i'm smart about something, i'm going to be one
indiscrete mofo about it, and that's for sure!!
Catpower777: is that like multiple intelligences?
BobsurAuntTom: My intellect is so discrete as to be impossible
to find.
BarbareLMyKeeper: My father went to Harvard and Columbia.
Anais3233: wow
BobsurAuntTom: And?
Anais3233: that's amazing
Beysshoes: WTF cares
BarbareLMyKeeper: I'm good stock.
Anais3233: like harvard avenue and columbia street?
BobsurAuntTom: As in soup stock?
BarbareLMyKeeper: Make fun of me fine.
BobsurAuntTom: Vegetable stock?
KissMyAsterix: what would you be discrete about
BobsurAuntTom: Chicken stock?
Anais3233: um
KissMyAsterix: right
Anais3233: about my grey beaver hairs
BarbareLMyKeeper: Use knowledge and insight not street
fighting techniques!
Beysshoes: sheesh dat is too pitifuls bragging on yoh daddy barb
BobsurAuntTom: Anais, please don't refer to your beaver hairs as
beaver hairs.
Beysshoes: waitwait. harvard and columbia. you trynna lay claim
to obama being yoh daddy?
BarbareLMyKeeper: Kiss for that the fed will ask you politely to
take english brush up courses.
BarbareLMyKeeper: Learn to speak clearly.
BarbareLMyKeeper: : )
Beysshoes: barb bore us summore pls
BarbareLMyKeeper: gutter verbs
KissMyAsterix: you know, I ennunciate fuck off pretty well
Beysshoes: omg gina is in primo form today!

4. Hurt:
BarbareLMyKeeper: Like no one will offer any of you any more TRUST.
Beysshoes: you go bigsur

5. Resolution (love you Anais):
BobsurAuntTom: The failed legacy... oh my.
KissMyAsterix: don't let us keep you
KissMyAsterix: and we know you're too busy to write
BarbareLMyKeeper: THis is not about your personal feelings.
Beysshoes: TRUST? dammit all. dat be da only reason we're here
... questing foh trust.
EmpressZ21: k hold up people do we care really
Anais3233: no we don't
Anais3233: next topic.
Beysshoes: nolo empy


6. Epilogue:
Anais3233: I go to community college
Anais3233: whoa
Anais3233: that stopped the room
BobsurAuntTom: Anais... I went to really great colleges...
and for the most part it has done squat for me.
KissMyAsterix: I go to the library
KissMyAsterix: it was too hard to compete anais

7. WHAT! She's still here?
EmpressZ21: you have a new dialect i like it
Beysshoes: okay, barb iffin you wanna stay...you gotta pay a
boring penalty to empy. solly
Beysshoes: empy. it's sophisticated ebonics.
Beysshoes: and thank you
EmpressZ21: grand idea beys <3
Anais3233: is it zoeyesque?
Beysshoes: (joshing with you barb)
Beysshoes: okay. so i lie.
KissMyAsterix: no wonder why you get no trust

8. OK, Beysshoes finishes her
Beysshoes: oh noooooooooooooo barb left us!
Beysshoes: you meanie gina. it be yoh fault.
Anais3233: hey ooliwhore
Beysshoes: someone IM her and fetch her back! oojieeee
oooolijay: fetch who back
Anais3233: no no, that's ok
Beysshoes: some idjit
oooolijay: oh
Beysshoes: newbie
EmpressZ21: no we're good beys

Mixed feelings:
EmpressZ21: we have a respite from nuttiness we must refresh
Anais3233: ::splashing sanity water by evian on my face::
Beysshoes: bring in da box wine empy
EmpressZ21: ya know ive never had wine out of a box
Anais3233: when you're in indy
Anais3233: you'll drink box wine
Beysshoes: empy, you've lead a sheltered life. poor thang
EmpressZ21: i have i really have
Beysshoes: i feel bad about barb. should i email her gina?
Beysshoes: no no wait. you should email her gina


Rono as Secretary of State:
Onimesh: we need a borderless world
KissMyAsterix: actually I think I want bigger fences
KissMyAsterix: maybe electric ones
Beysshoes: with cattle prods at the ready?
Onimesh: Rockefeller in his book said he is going to make a
borderless world
KissMyAsterix: we're definetly thinking alike beys



Yuck:
KissMyAsterix: that was too visual for me
KissMyAsterix: pop pop pop
Beysshoes: godwit is playful that way ... with popcorn and charlie rose.
Catpower777: what, me and godwit under the blanket with a bowl of popcorn?
Beysshoes: yes cat. nekkid
Catpower777: hey Bob
KissMyAsterix: cat... being as you said it
KissMyAsterix: I feel you should be medicated
BobsurAuntTom: Hi Cat. Cat is making me kina ill.
Catpower777: Bey, it's the only way I can get him to disrobe
KissMyAsterix: she's unwell


Coy Mistress:
Anais3233: i have a youtube account
Anais3233: harlotty harlotness!
EmpressZ21: trollopy tramp

Mixed Messages:
Beysshoes: ah empy. the golden rule. hugs after a smack
Beysshoes: binky taught me that one

Spanairds and Mexicans:
Catpower777: oh, Binx is into S&M?
EmpressZ21: yes like that just like that
Anais3233: Duh!
Beysshoes: kitkat you know i told you dat one in confidence!
Anais3233: he likes to be spanked with books
Beysshoes: 25 points
Beysshoes: so anais he had you doing that to him too???
Beysshoes: dammit and i thought i was special
Anais3233: no. i'm married.
Anais3233: but i got the hidden video
Beysshoes: oh, he is too uptight for the married thing. hidden video?
Beysshoes: i wanna see!
Anais3233: www.beysshoesspankingbinxwithbooks.com


Baiting the Cock:
Beysshoes: gyps you're crashing a girl pahty here! hola
Gypsyjo47: Beys Yeah I know a hen party when I see one.
EmpressZ21: so you were saying about the yeast infection anais
Anais3233: yes, a cock at a hen party
Anais3233: it was very lumpy
Anais3233: and burning
Beysshoes: anais. dunt get him started


Homes Remedies:
Anais3233: you know what helps with the itching?
Anais3233: yogurt
EmpressZ21: vinegar?
EmpressZ21: oh see now i heard vinegar
Beysshoes: you chicas got it wrong iffin you think this is
gonna turn gyps off. he's relentless.
EmpressZ21: something about the acid of the discharge
Anais3233: vinagar makes the skin on sensitive girly parts
toughen up and calous
Gypsyjo47: Anais hate to tell you this, but yeast feeds on yogurt...
Beysshoes: see, he knows more than you even.
Beysshoes: oofsh


Oh Mandy:
BobsurAuntTom: That Barry Manilow sure in one hell of an attractive man
Condorblues: he's kinda old isn't he
Catpower777: Bob, is that payback?
Condorblues: in his 70s
BobsurAuntTom: Payback?
Catpower777: for me making you feel nauseated?
KissMyAsterix: manilow.. geez
KissMyAsterix: paid in full
Alansueton: already?
BobsurAuntTom: There was just a Barry Manilow commercial.. I just
think he's a very handsome guy.
Alansueton: Barry Manilow looks like a Lizard now
Beysshoes: barry? handsome? WOW
Catpower777: Bob, this is not meant to be in any way judgmental
but he looks like he was drawn by Matt Groening


His Fickle Bowell:
Alansueton: I refuse to sleep or crap in the open air(except in
the case of emergency)--I must be in Air Conditioned or Well
Heated environment
Kan wa ma kan: alan they have collapsable toilets now
Condorblues: geez alan, talk about high maintenance
Alansueton: I am high maintenance
Condorblues: I will go to the bathroom just about anywhere
Alansueton: I like Artificial Paradises


Natlie's Friend:
Summers Eve L: I buy him playdough every year for xmas
Summers Eve L: He loves me.

Author's Lounge Exile:
Madam Mimi: dang Im stuck in here again

The Next Danish Cartoonist:
Zachariah957: not a Muslim god and bugs bunny are about equal to
me both are hilarious

Is she insulting us?:
Madam Mimi: let's talk about the difference between MOOT and MUTE...
Madam Mimi: oh sorry Im not in the Author's Lounge......we cant
talk about moot and mute

Defensive About Drinking:
BobsurAuntTom: I guess people get defensive when you ask them about
their drinking.
Zachariah957: not if your irish
BobsurAuntTom: I can understand that.


Might Be:
BobsurAuntTom: Mimi might be the dumbest person I've ever read online.

Mimi We Hardly Know You:
Madam Mimi: Damage was good. I like it intense and short like
my past love

Mr Sensitivty:
oooolijay: do you flirt with the psych patients?
Trvsbckl912: not yet, no
Trvsbckl912: when i was a student, doing my clinical rotation,
one of the patients was a stripper from the bar i used to go to

Rono's World:
Niontron9: I would slap my wife to uncosciousness if she was
flirting in front of me
Niontron9: you gotta be tough on women..otherwise they think
you are weak
Niontron9: and take advantage of you
Alansueton: Rono tough is not losing your cool
Niontron9: I am cool tough
Alansueton: lol
Pheziwig: If you have to slap your wife, you failed to pick a good one
AnGeLEyZ1617: woman will take advantage or men no matter what...its lame
Niontron9: I've been taken advantage but I am better equipped now

Julie Cares:
AnGeLEyZ1617: it's an expression...sorry...let me rephrase if for you
....you can do whatever you like married or not but you don't have to
tell other people who probably don't care
oooolijay: i care. i want to know when everyone masturbates
MsVictoriaLynn1: Should I keep a log Julie?
Alansueton: ooooli you know my Mastr-Clock
oooolijay: unfortunately i do, alan
AnGeLEyZ1617: welll that is good for you....but a little disturbing

Acme Products Rep:
oooolijay: now i want to look up more roadrunner cartoons on youtube

Alan Selling His Virginity:
Alansueton: nah like Blago said on the tap I ain't gonna fucking
give this up for nothing
Alansueton: (holding my jock)

Labor Negotiations:
Alansueton: ooooli in lovemaking I demand full attention from my
lady-partner and she demands and receives likewise

Born Again:
oooolijay: i hope my hymen regenerates

Love Is a Nose:
CordialCactus: i can tell you which one of my children passed gas
just by the odor
oooolijay: you're a good mom, cactus

DOES Anyone shit rainbows?:
NOTNycgirl: at work, i stick my finger up elderly people's butts
to perform disempactionsoooolijay: that is a job i would never have
Alansueton: Nyc do you wear gloves?
CordialCactus: lol
oooolijay: any job that involves sticking my finger in an old
person's ass
NOTNycgirl: ky jelly and gloves
oooolijay: or anyone's ass
Tallthinjones: is there any useful tool for that job, nyc?
CordialCactus: im thinking about phlebotomy
NOTNycgirl: it helps them and they feel much better afterwards
CordialCactus: as a job
oooolijay: i wouldn't care if it made them shit rainbows


Girls Gone Wild:
Spookyfish2: The weirdest craigslist ad I ever saw was a women
seeking to be impregnated by a homosexual atheist.
Spookyfish2: Just so she could promptly have an abortion.
oooolijay: what
oooolijay: that's just freakin weird
CordialCactus: ew to munging and lol to oooli
PatientOnion3: that's what sarah palin's daughter did
Alansueton: Spooky she hit three no no's
Spookyfish2: She wanted to piss off her conservative father, I think.
oooolijay: she couldn't just get a tattoo?


Mix and Match:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I'm reading three books
MsVictoriaLynn1: and writing two


Anais Excited:
Anais3233: i'm going to be a nurse one day. and you know what
i'm going to do then?
Fleurdelochi: go to disneyworld?
BinxB91: change sheets?
KissMyAsterix: medicate people?
Anais3233: well, i have no idea actually
Anais3233: but
Anais3233: it'll be exciting.