Life After Death (leftovers)

You know ... I'm not really interested in what you
all are wearing. Through KatyTried entries
(somewhat enlarged by my own imagination), I do
have my pictures of activities some of you may be
involved in. The clothes you're wearing are
secondary.

Cordialcactus - Furiously peddling her bicycle
with two toddlers in tow trying to catch the
ice cream truck.

NoraMcKee - Riding on a dolly being crashed into
a wall by a co-worker.

SleepyEyedEvie - Gently smiling at a customer's graceless
comments while resisting pressing a plate of pancakes into
his chest.

SummersEveL - Shaking her head trying not to say "I told you
so" while observing the front end of the receptionist's car
through the opposite side of the office wall.

Melodramamama - Pouting while her children gobble their
desserts leaving her with none.

Anais - Dreaming of her husband coming home from work while
picking up the toys

CreepyLoner - Walking through a graveyard at midnight carrying
a glow stick on her way to buy creamer at the convenience store.

Beysshoes - Counting the houses she's walked by as her whippet
pulls ever forward. Seeing all of Hawaii's green, as she vaguely
misses Maine's frozen pines.

PatientOnion - Spilling a bag of groceries on a hill and noting
that oranges roll further in San Francisico than they would in most
other cities.

ParaMyrh (AlanSueton) - Drafting a new manual for his company's
improved Customer Sevices practices.

Godwit - Instructing his diner waitress that it isn't proper
for her to address him as "you guys"

DoomGrl - Reading poetry with her father


Candy Girl:
AmberDevilRay8: I wish humans had more than one set of teeth
to lose.

BookSlut Blues:
BinxB91: Can anyone recommend an obscure and obtuse Eastern European
novelist?
Fleurdelochi: uh.....
CordialCactus: lol, binx, i most definitely cannot
BinxB91: oh shoot, BookSlut already moved on
BinxB91: that little dickens
Fleurdelochi: i can recomend an obscure and obtuse latin american
novelist, will that work?
Fleurdelochi: i'm not really hip to eastern europe
BinxB91: Never mind, Fleur. I was just messing with BOOKGASM
Fleurdelochi: well damn
Fleurdelochi: i feel so USED

After Years of Nursing Training:
Fleurdelochi: herpes is not a good idea

Looking for Friends in All the Wrong Places:
Jessied200010400: B00KGASM [12:25 A.M.]: Don't contact me any
more you needy suckling.

Anagram?:
PatientOnion3: the wrestler was just a remake of the gladiator

TMI:
Melodramamama22: binx, i have pneumonia. i'm wearing some yoga
pants and my daughter's t-shirt

"you two are freaks"
Melodramamama22: my kids made me laugh, they put their money together
and bought the soundtract to o brother
Melodramamama22: when it first came out
Melodramamama22: they were like preteens
Melodramamama22: i was all omg, you two are freaks!

Because They'd Spoil the Recipe:
PatientOnion3: i have no minions

Book Contract:
JFWaterman: -signed a contract for one of my books today, too-
Raphael11110: what's it about?
JFWaterman: Sci-fi, time travel, law enforcement all in one, Raph.
JFWaterman: My agent wants to pitch it, so we'll see who bites.

Helpful Onion and Oooolijay??:
Dehft m19u3l: well i have to get ready to watch friday 13 with my gf.
thanks ONION AND OOOOLIJAY for your guys's help!!

Second Opinion:
BobsurAuntTom: Chatrooms are stupid and I'm a moron for being in one.
JadedDremer: especially in that color, bob

Evolution:
AmberDevilRay8: The evolution of the chatroom is what fascinated me.
BinxB91: evolution?
AmberDevilRay8: I'm sure the programmers of the chat room were all
excitied about allowing people from all around the world to share ideas
and culture and whatnot...
AmberDevilRay8: ...instead they get a bunch of people sitting around
going "I like cookies! LOLOMG I M l33t h4><0r!"

Published:
oooolijay: i think half the people in author's lounge consider typing
into a chatroom being 'published'
BobsurAuntTom: I have had really good reviews in important publications,
but I've never published anything.

The Pain of Poetry:
Raphael11110: so Lil why you like poetry?
LilPoet1624: idk i have so much emotion and its liek i put all my
emotion into my work and thats how i relieve stress.........or i
just argue with ppl 4 no reason
oooolijay: wow, like, even that sentence was poetic

Odd Drinking Songs:
McLaryn5508: CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM
CordialCactus: snip snip snip snip snip snip snip
MsVictoriaLynn1: VASECTOMY!
Tammylovesooli: Yeah what vicky said!
ThePaIeRlDER: they fit to tight mary
ThePaIeRlDER: im cloisterphobic
McLaryn5508: hurl
oooolijay: that's a funny typo
McLaryn5508: get a vasectomy
CordialCactus: lol
MsVictoriaLynn1: try a damn fire hose then

Fandom:
Tammylovesooli: Hi Ooooli

What About Leaving the Mold On?:
KissMyAsterix: this guy I used to work with
KissMyAsterix: I was saying he'd scrape mold off of anything
KissMyAsterix: nothing phased him, food wise
KissMyAsterix: holocaust survivor
Tallthinjones: he could handle it

Next Pi to the 26th place:
KissMyAsterix: my son has memorized 911

Can You Top This?:
Condorblues: they got some real ball busters in here
Tallthinjones: condor ate tainted peanut butter served on hardtac
MsVictoriaLynn1: with extra Vermin

Trust Her on this One:
Condorblues: ooools!
Condorblues: I'm shrinking
oooolijay: how can we tell

Movie Reviews That Never Happened:
Condorblues: I saw coraline today, a weird flick
Tallthinjones: how so, condor?
MsVictoriaLynn1: isn't that a pasta dish, Vermincelli?

Gina As Drill Sergeant:
Yossarian4now: staring at a plate of cassarole
Yossarian4now: i havent had a cassarole since i was like
Yossarian4now: 12?
KissMyAsterix: it won't eat itself
KissMyAsterix: get to work
Yossarian4now: not hungry


I Thought Zen meant "peace":
Zenchef2006: and one of the students asked if i would teach him
some mixed martial arts stuff today
KissMyAsterix: how'd that work out zen
Zenchef2006: scraped my knuckles while punching him in the ribs,
forgot to tell him to take off his gi
Zenchef2006: was great kiss, got to choke and armbar alot of people
today
KissMyAsterix: I'm envious zen
KissMyAsterix: I didn't get to choke anyone today
Zenchef2006: although i did get slammed on my head pretty hard
tonite too

ParaMyrrh Power:
Catpower777: oh, did Para win an Oscar?
KissMyAsterix: no
KissMyAsterix: but he said if he did
KissMyAsterix: he would pick on people who didn't like him
Beysshoes: lol that punk para
Catpower777: he already does that
KissMyAsterix: that's what I said
Catpower777: he'd just do it in front of a bigger audience?
KissMyAsterix: but apparently it means more if you're successful
Catpower777: oh, I see
Beysshoes: the pig would never leave the stage.

["The apocalyptic crotch himself."
"Don't be funny," he said. "Do that one thing for me, Bucky.
Avoid all funny stuff. I'm cold and tired. I need to be
talked to seriously. Jet lag, fear, anxiety, depession. You
know my history."
"Want some cocoa? Good and hot."]

Speak of the Devil:
Catpower777: Para !
Catpower777: were your ears burning?
Beysshoes: we was just trashin' yoh ass
Alansueton: nope just my loins
Beysshoes: ew
Beysshoes: ew
Beysshoes: and ew
Alansueton: cool
Alansueton: i need to be humbled

Mysteries That No One wants Solved:
PatientOnion3: bey, how come you are the only one to comment on kal's
poems?
PatientOnion3: and why did he change his sn?
PatientOnion3: anybody know?
Catpower777: I wonder how many Sn's he's had over the years
PatientOnion3: do you guys like chicken nuggets? i am doing 3 THREE!!!
diff batters
PatientOnion3: indian, mexican, hillbilly


Onion's World:
PatientOnion3: we had TWO days of rain, our budget problem is solved,
there is light at the end of the tunnel, so i have to get rich and
famous before the obama cures the depression
PatientOnion3: time is running out
KissMyAsterix: somehow I think you could still take a day or two off
PatientOnion3: it was funny last night, poor halfwit jam blaming the
govt for screwing up his mortgage
PatientOnion3: he said he had to sell veggies from his garden to make
the payments
PatientOnion3: i almost cried
PatientOnion3: yes, his cardboard shack that he paid $350.00 for
Catpower777: I'm choking


Another Onion Straight Man:
SemiLitterate: Wife made bean soup today with a ham bone in it
----Campbells eat your heart out
PatientOnion3: semi, you lucky dog you
PatientOnion3: you must be some catch
SemiLitterate: leftover from a baked ham, duh
PatientOnion3: from xmas?
PatientOnion3: is it green?


When Beysshoes is Away:
PatientOnion3: is bey suicidal again?
PatientOnion3: it's from reading kal's poetry
KissMyAsterix: no, homicidal
Catpower777: she's probably cooking a steak for her pup
Catpower777: it's Sunday night


He Can't Really Cook:
PatientOnion3: 95% of previous attempts at deep frying have
miserably failed, but 2nite i got lucky
PatientOnion3: it must be the rain
Catpower777: how can deep frying fail?
Catpower777: did you forget to batter?
SemiLitterate: Oil was congealed
SemiLitterate: rancid
PatientOnion3: i took a walk in the rain, a nap, and am ready to
deep fry again


ParaMyrrh Exposed:
PatientOnion3: bey, how much does kal pay you to read his poems
Beysshoes: not a lot onion
Beysshoes: fiddy cents a pome

Onion Ecstatic:
SemiLitterate: put the mayo in a plastic baggie, insert meat & coat
PatientOnion3: semi, when you said "insert meat" i got a B*NER. STOP IT!
PatientOnion3: you are married, don't be a tease
Beysshoes: semi, you don't have to fabricate a wife to keep onion at bay.
PatientOnion3: oh
Beysshoes: we're here to protect you
PatientOnion3: he has cable
KissMyAsterix: we are?
Beysshoes: you lazy beach gina


Thoughts on Missing Shelfers:
SemiLitterate: I think Godwit ran off with Creepy
KissMyAsterix: interesting theory semi
NotNycgirl: how did you come to this semi?
KissMyAsterix: so the park thing was just a date then
SemiLitterate: no Creepy, no Godwit, simple deduction
KissMyAsterix: yes but fork is missing
KissMyAsterix: and who else..
SemiLitterate: Fork is missing when he is here
Beysshoes: that makes sense. the no-sex couple. yes.
some symmetry.
KissMyAsterix: beys, godwit says he's a 'normal' man
KissMyAsterix: with a predilection for watching men get it on
in the park and a love of daniel day lewis
Beysshoes: well, sadly gina...in this cesspool of a chatroom
he's pretty near norm.


The anit-Brad Pitt Crowd:
Beysshoes: onion did you watch the oscars? i wanted mickey rourke
to win. but sean penn was a good second for me

Oscar and Homer:
Beysshoes: sorry. i forgot you dont have a tv homer
PatientOnion3: i have a perfectly fine tv w/a knob to change the
channels, and a high-tech converter box
SemiLitterate: If I had to watch the oscars I would have to off
myself---bunch of egotistical perverts
Beysshoes: wow onion. you must've made some money over the holidays
PatientOnion3: money?
PatientOnion3: it's only $20
PatientOnion3: if you get the $40 coupon from obama
KissMyAsterix: cool
KissMyAsterix: I never have coupons when I need them

Muskrats are like that:
Jimberkeley: anything by captain & tenniel makes me cry...
especially 'muskrat love'

Sweetness:
Anais3233: it's like, "hey, will you lick my pussy" and he does.
and likewise