SORTA FUN


Any questions?:
oooolijay: knock your wife up yet?
Trvsbckl912: yeah, she's pregnant

Freed from the Cellar:
Tammynet: i just got invited to dinner upstairs!
woo hoo! bbl

Julie and Alan - together again:
oooolijay: i would have probably been killed by ted bundy
BinxB91: Julie, you accept rides from strangers?
Alansueton: binx what do you mean by "rides"?

Crossing Anais's Line:
Melodramamama22: sometimes you do stuff cause somebody else
thinks its the dogs bollocks, you know?
Anais3233: uh
KissMyAsterix: yeah, what's wrong with them
AnonyMitch: hells bells
Melodramamama22: and hey, woohoo
EmpressZ21: she means cat's ass trollop
Anais3233: let's not talk about the dog's bollocks, that
crosses MY line.

Lost and Found:
Melodramamama22: i don't have a gspot i can't find it and
nobody else can either
oooolijay: you do melo
Melodramamama22: hell no i don't, lol
Anais3233: well, there are no other fluids that would be
secreted from the urinary tract or bladder.
Melodramamama22: if i do, it's defective
Anais3233: i have never been able to find my g spot either
EmpressZ21: yes trollop butim speaking of fluids from another
bathing suit area
Anais3233: and that's not for trying
KissMyAsterix: lack of you mean?
KissMyAsterix: usually someone else finds it for you anais
oooolijay: where are you guys looking for it?
Anais3233: i've had a million probes in search of it
AnonyMitch: bathing suit area. nice euphemism.
oooolijay: it's right where they say it is
Melodramamama22: this is no shit. we printed instructions for
finding it off the internet.
Anais3233: um, vaginal discharges would not shoot out of your
urethra
LadyQuasi: ejaculation is merely either stress incontinence or
vaginal lubrication
LadyQuasi: according to Wikipedia
Melodramamama22: it involved squatting over a mirror, if you
were on your own
EmpressZ21: ummm but they would mix with other fluids trollop
EmpressZ21: you see what im sayin here
EmpressZ21: they dont stay unmixed like beans and mashed potatos
oooolijay: beans and mashed potatoes
Anais3233: lol right, but if it was dribbling
PRobin5478: melo -- women squatting is already a good thing
Melodramamama22: not such a good visual
Anais3233: but this shoots out
Anais3233: have you seen a squirter porn

Doom, see above:
DoomGrl: we just had a real long discussion about button making


Best Singles Ad:
Djangette: --- can bite my own toenails

It Just Doesn't Add Up:
Tom Brite: damn this is one homoerotic room
Alansueton: sorry Tom
oooolijay: that's only because you're here, tom
Djangette: Speak for yourself Tom - I'm 100% heterosexual and comfy
Tom Brite: i'm 95/15
oooolijay: i'm about 85/15
oooolijay: maybe 90/10
oooolijay: it's a sliding scale
Alansueton: tom that equals 110


Book Discussion(almost):
Tj34: i just read a kingsley amis book on alcohol
Djangette: which one TJ?
Tj34: it was-hmm
Tj34: a comprehensive book not the diet one
Tj34: lucky jim is a great book
Djangette: loads of olduns in a pub?
Tj34: i like it when the tractor with the bedsprings slows him
down on the way to the train station
Djangette: yeah, I can't remember either ... too much Guinness
Tj34: and when he burned the matress and flipped it over
Djangette: yes TJ - it was called The something or others
Djangette: Companions?


Dj meets Rono:
Djangette: a sandwich short of a picnic?


What Are You Wearing?:

AnnAsphodel: Binx, I'm in my usual minx attire.

Calhounman9: im wearing blue jeans
Calhounman9: im a simple man

Summers Eve L: I'm wayaring my pjs.

Djangette: Binx - my usual gear

AmberDevilRay8: Pants and stuff.

oooolijay: black yoga pants and a grey Elizabet Ney t-shirt
Beysshoes: who's elizabeth ney?
oooolijay: she was a sculptor

Beysshoes: some new flannel shorts and new old navy tank tops
and white sox

Tammynet: I am in my purple tweetie pjs



No one asked but ...:
Creepy Loner: Tonight Creepy is wearing a very fashionable
Pepto-Bismol-pink, four-point, Hudson's Bay blanket with an
olive green "rugby" shirt featuring a one-button, off-white
collar (the button is unbuttoned)...slightly greasy hair...and
Creepy Loner: socks with a penguin pattern.
Creepy Loner: [posing]



Not reaching O:
Summers Eve L: So. Do you all have plans for this weekend?
EmpressZ21: well i d but i dnt knw what they are all the
secret calls
EmpressZ21: my O is sticking and im gonna quit beating the
keyboard and correcting

Great Literature In the Works:
AmberDevilRay8: Perhaps you can help...
CordialCactus: i can sure try
AmberDevilRay8: Okay, you know how little kids will twist their
AmberDevilRay8: Heh. It's taken me all day.
CordialCactus: ok.. im going to throw out some words.,....maybe
that will lead to more thoughtstoe in the dirt, with their hands
behind their back?
AmberDevilRay8: ANd they're all "golly gee" and whatnot...
CordialCactus: right
AmberDevilRay8: If you wanted to describe that as a posture,
or a demeanor, what word would you use?
CordialCactus: oh.. hm.. this will take a moment
CordialCactus: garsh
AmberDevilRay8: Garsh.
AmberDevilRay8: Melikes that word.
CordialCactus: ok.. first thing i thought was bashful, shy, timid,
CordialCactus: but.. there has to be a phrase that would capture it
CordialCactus: in a clever way
AmberDevilRay8: I contemplated bashful.

The Old College Try:
AmberDevilRay8: Make something up and run with it. That's what
college is all about.

Doesn't Want to Play:
NotNycgirl: binx i would like to be removed
NotNycgirl: i dont want to be on it
Alansueton: [name deleted]this is a public chat room
NotNycgirl: i dont want my name involved in that

DOES Want to Play:
oooolijay: know what would be cool? if you glowed in the dark

Amber, Try Italian:
AmberDevilRay8: I used to think French was sexy until I had
a French neighbor.
AmberDevilRay8: "Ah-low, Ohm-bee-air!"

Julie Economizing:
oooolijay: i'm thinking of stopping the shaving

Julie's Inspiration?:
WildCIAagent: You know... that dog whisper show is almost good.
WildCIAagent: I love a man in need of a shave

Shaving Comes in Threes This Week:
Niontron9: one day I was shaving, when I was in school, in the
school bathroom, and the teacher saw me, after a test...and he
was like
Niontron9: "hey man, don't cut yourself because you did bad
on the test"

In Tj's posse:
Tallthinjones: fella gets out of a mental hospital, he keeps
shaving his body
Tallthinjones: the telephone wires were singing all the time.
it was a good approximation of mental illness
Tallthinjones: to cap it off he pried off his thumbnail

Cut then Pull:
Tallthinjones: well, what is the deal with these "cutters"?
AmberDevilRay8: Every "cutter" I've seen on the internet tells
me the same thing.
AmberDevilRay8: "Pain is a feeling, and I want to feel."
AmberDevilRay8: Something like that.
Tallthinjones: next it will be toothless "Pullers"


Beysshone Reaction - One Size Fits all:
Zenchef2006: beys, i had a tempura shrimp blow up in my face and
got an oil burn on my eye
Beysshoes: OMGOMGOMG


Serious Scag:
Bongoso: any good books?
Bongoso: I am reading:" 10 ways the ACLU is ruining america"
PRobin5478: lol bong -- must be a comic book
Bongoso: nope
Bongoso: serious scag

Hillary down with it:
Is She Weird 55: i just IMmed you dawg

Rememmbering Thinkers:
EDruezillaB: peggy?
Summers Eve L: You don't remember the nutjob that had an affair
with Beachpotato that began the asshat war of Thinkers? Really?
McLaryn5508: What were her other sn's one was REALTOR
EmpressZ21: how could you forget peggy
McLaryn5508: yup! That was one
EmpressZ21: the drama dominated that room for a month
until it imploded


What's in a Number?
CordialCactus: how far are you from major water?
ThePaIeRlDER: 5 minutes to gulf of mexico
WildCIAagent: WOW PALE
WildCIAagent: That is freaking close!
ThePaIeRlDER: yeah its not far
WildCIAagent: YIKES
ThePaIeRlDER: 5-7 min
WildCIAagent: deary me!
Tallthinjones: tammy, how close are you to water?
ThePaIeRlDER: depending where ya go
CordialCactus: how far inland are you, cia?
ThePaIeRlDER: the boat launch is about 15
Tammynet: I am 176 steps away from the beach
WildCIAagent: I just knew that was coming!
CordialCactus: lol tammy
CordialCactus: i love that
WildCIAagent: I'm guessing half an hour or more???
ThePaIeRlDER: thats close tammy
Tammynet: that is the stairs going down to the beach
WildCIAagent: I'll ask the MAN tomorrow... he's my map guy
Tammynet: yes
Tallthinjones: o.k. then how tall are you?
CordialCactus: loltall
CordialCactus: whats your stride length
WildCIAagent: I'm 5' 6"
Tammynet: i am 4' 10.5"
Tammynet: lol
WildCIAagent: OMG you are a shrimp!
CordialCactus: petite
ThePaIeRlDER: jesus tammy
WildCIAagent: hug hug
ThePaIeRlDER: doll size
CordialCactus: way to go guys
Tallthinjones: this is earthshaking news, tammy
WildCIAagent: How big are your feet, Tam?
Tammynet: apparently so Tall
Tammynet: i wear a 5
ThePaIeRlDER: thats small right?
Tallthinjones: chinese foot binding
ThePaIeRlDER: womans 5?
Tammynet: yes
ThePaIeRlDER: i have 11's
Tammynet: but i have wide feet
Tallthinjones: i saw a hoof print in my yard this morning.
babe the blue ox action
CordialCactus: alright.. tammy, you will always be my favorite
dork in the whole wide world... there are no height requirements
Tammynet: thank you Cactus!!!!
WildCIAagent: WOW... and you call me dork sometimes... I'm not
your fav?
CordialCactus: you are welcome
ThePaIeRlDER: do you need a pillow to drive tammy?
Tammynet: someone needs to send that to Katy Tried..it would be
silly if i did it


Natalie and the Boys:
Summers Eve L: Oh! Just so you know! I am totally excited about
seeing the new Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th.
Summers Eve L: I'm going with my best gurlfriends' boyfriends/
husbands. They don't want to go. So they are doing a gurls dinner
and we are meeting them after for drinks.


Apropos of Nothing:

Summers Eve L: I love those Life Savors suckers that come out
around Easter.

CordialCactus: i cant remember my sound

oooolijay: i loved when the hillbillies came into town to talk
to andy taylor

Tallthinjones: i like books where people don't have enough to eat

CordialCactus: I wonder why nyquil still makes the green flavor

Spookyfish2: My favorite smell in the world is a tennis ball. =\

Alansueton: I would never send a pic of my penis

Tom Brite: my therapist has moved to tokyo




Weight Watching:
EDruezillaB: one of the girls at my office was on weight watchers
and she had a "checkbook" of points to eat for the month of january
and she was out of points on jan 5

Slow Night on the Shelf:
Summers Eve L: I wonder how this banana/strawberry juice smoothie
would be mixed in with a glass of milk.

[Married, they'd stayed in her room for days before he left,
taking longer and longer as time ran out. He shoved the bed
against the wall and put the mattress on the floor. There
they woke and slept on a stable continent whose silence never
betrayed them, turning each other in circles like a clock
whose two hands remained in circular, continuous alarm.
Crying, Lola was nearly impassive, her face wet as though she
couldn't or wouldn't give into sobs. He'd never known a woman
who cried like her, like she'd forgotten she was ever a child.
Holding him with her silky hands, her face an inch from his,
she breathed into his mouth through parted lips, and her eyes
showed faint lines at the corners when she smiled. In five
years, she told him, she'd begin to look her age. Good, he'd
said, I'll be ready. They've been apart now longer than they
were together and he feels he's more than made up the eight
years between them. He can protect her now, even from herself,
from him.]





Playing With Your Food:
oooolijay: i swear, i get maybe half the popcorn in my mouth
oooolijay: the rest ends up in a pile all around me
oooolijay: in my hair
oooolijay: i get food in my bra
Summers Eve L: When I stir sauce.
Summers Eve L: I accidentally dip my damn boobs in it.
McLaryn5508: Do you cook naked?


Crabby Does Not Put Her in the Mood:
McLaryn5508: Dave is whiny and crabby. He wants sex and I am
SO NOT in the mood.

Creepy's Motivation:
Creepy Loner: I just finished reading THE RING...which was
sorta fun.
Creepy Loner: I'm into tacky and scary things at the moment.
oooolijay: that's why she came back to the shelf


Prospect's joke:
Prospect26: I am white, black and red.
oooolijay: a newspaper!
oooolijay: a zebra with a sunburn!

American Idol Forever:
Anais3233: what is up with simon's hair???

Odd Couple:
AXELvonAUR: The Shopaholic trailer on tv uses Disturbia

Beauty Knows No Pain:
Hickory49: plucking snatch just does not sound like a good time
AXELvonAUR: Hickory, probly nicer than waxing
Hickory49: ... waxing's gotta be easier than plucking ...
Summers Eve L: Why don't you boys go try both and report back to us.

Lady Mirth:
EmpressZ21: sunshine and rainbows and unicorns!
EmpressZ21: = Laura world
EmpressZ21: no Laura me
LadyMtnMedic: even unicorns have to take a sh*t

Wake Up Ralph!:
Raphael11110: I am going to venture into speculating that
Ana karenina was a remarkable woman surrounded by jerks
Raphael11110: or something like that
Sleepy Eyed Evie: not really raphael
Sleepy Eyed Evie: she's a married woman who has an affair and it
destroys her life
Sleepy Eyed Evie: and his
Raphael11110: Lady what was the novel about then?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i just told you raphael
Sleepy Eyed Evie: and actually i found it to be a pretty easy read.
its long but its not hard to read
Raphael11110: Sleep Lady said it was a long book it has to have
some sort of story to it
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i just told you what the story was dude

The News From Down Under:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: so federer destroyed roddick

Yours or Someone Else's?:
BobsurAuntTom: When I see the name Hermann Hesse, I feel like
popping zits

Jumping the Punchline:
BobsurAuntTom: I used to play tennis... then I found squash.
BobsurAuntTom: Squash is much, much better than tennis.
BobsurAuntTom: Y'know why?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: its a vegetable?

Future Poet Laureate:
CordialCactus: oh hey.. mom bragging moment.. 3 year old said
rice krispies sound like a campfire



Bob hits a triple:
BobsurAuntTom: Jesus was a bot in his day.
BobsurAuntTom: Apparently
LadyMtnMedic: he was?
BinxB91: what?
EmpressZ21: yeah huh?

Consumer Warning:
Tallthinjones: the ingredients in microwave popcorn are poison


Into the Microwave Popcorn:
oooolijay: there is a song about a houseboat i like
oooolijay: well, it's not about a houseboat
oooolijay: but it mentions a houseboat
oooolijay: i'd like to have a houseboat


Newbie Vs BookShelf:

1. Intro:
BarbareLMyKeeper: My name is not Barbarel
BarbareLMyKeeper: She is a friend.
BarbareLMyKeeper: They call me that.

2. Initial Contact:
BarbareLMyKeeper: common sense and use of some discrete intellect
BarbareLMyKeeper: Man people show basic lacks of higher education
these days.
Anais3233: uh
Anais3233: who invited the buzz kill?

3. Conflict:
BarbareLMyKeeper: Anais you would be kicked out of Princeton.
Anais3233: if i'm smart about something, i'm going to be one
indiscrete mofo about it, and that's for sure!!
Catpower777: is that like multiple intelligences?
BobsurAuntTom: My intellect is so discrete as to be impossible
to find.
BarbareLMyKeeper: My father went to Harvard and Columbia.
Anais3233: wow
BobsurAuntTom: And?
Anais3233: that's amazing
Beysshoes: WTF cares
BarbareLMyKeeper: I'm good stock.
Anais3233: like harvard avenue and columbia street?
BobsurAuntTom: As in soup stock?
BarbareLMyKeeper: Make fun of me fine.
BobsurAuntTom: Vegetable stock?
KissMyAsterix: what would you be discrete about
BobsurAuntTom: Chicken stock?
Anais3233: um
KissMyAsterix: right
Anais3233: about my grey beaver hairs
BarbareLMyKeeper: Use knowledge and insight not street
fighting techniques!
Beysshoes: sheesh dat is too pitifuls bragging on yoh daddy barb
BobsurAuntTom: Anais, please don't refer to your beaver hairs as
beaver hairs.
Beysshoes: waitwait. harvard and columbia. you trynna lay claim
to obama being yoh daddy?
BarbareLMyKeeper: Kiss for that the fed will ask you politely to
take english brush up courses.
BarbareLMyKeeper: Learn to speak clearly.
BarbareLMyKeeper: : )
Beysshoes: barb bore us summore pls
BarbareLMyKeeper: gutter verbs
KissMyAsterix: you know, I ennunciate fuck off pretty well
Beysshoes: omg gina is in primo form today!

4. Hurt:
BarbareLMyKeeper: Like no one will offer any of you any more TRUST.
Beysshoes: you go bigsur

5. Resolution (love you Anais):
BobsurAuntTom: The failed legacy... oh my.
KissMyAsterix: don't let us keep you
KissMyAsterix: and we know you're too busy to write
BarbareLMyKeeper: THis is not about your personal feelings.
Beysshoes: TRUST? dammit all. dat be da only reason we're here
... questing foh trust.
EmpressZ21: k hold up people do we care really
Anais3233: no we don't
Anais3233: next topic.
Beysshoes: nolo empy


6. Epilogue:
Anais3233: I go to community college
Anais3233: whoa
Anais3233: that stopped the room
BobsurAuntTom: Anais... I went to really great colleges...
and for the most part it has done squat for me.
KissMyAsterix: I go to the library
KissMyAsterix: it was too hard to compete anais

7. WHAT! She's still here?
EmpressZ21: you have a new dialect i like it
Beysshoes: okay, barb iffin you wanna stay...you gotta pay a
boring penalty to empy. solly
Beysshoes: empy. it's sophisticated ebonics.
Beysshoes: and thank you
EmpressZ21: grand idea beys <3
Anais3233: is it zoeyesque?
Beysshoes: (joshing with you barb)
Beysshoes: okay. so i lie.
KissMyAsterix: no wonder why you get no trust

8. OK, Beysshoes finishes her
Beysshoes: oh noooooooooooooo barb left us!
Beysshoes: you meanie gina. it be yoh fault.
Anais3233: hey ooliwhore
Beysshoes: someone IM her and fetch her back! oojieeee
oooolijay: fetch who back
Anais3233: no no, that's ok
Beysshoes: some idjit
oooolijay: oh
Beysshoes: newbie
EmpressZ21: no we're good beys

Mixed feelings:
EmpressZ21: we have a respite from nuttiness we must refresh
Anais3233: ::splashing sanity water by evian on my face::
Beysshoes: bring in da box wine empy
EmpressZ21: ya know ive never had wine out of a box
Anais3233: when you're in indy
Anais3233: you'll drink box wine
Beysshoes: empy, you've lead a sheltered life. poor thang
EmpressZ21: i have i really have
Beysshoes: i feel bad about barb. should i email her gina?
Beysshoes: no no wait. you should email her gina


Rono as Secretary of State:
Onimesh: we need a borderless world
KissMyAsterix: actually I think I want bigger fences
KissMyAsterix: maybe electric ones
Beysshoes: with cattle prods at the ready?
Onimesh: Rockefeller in his book said he is going to make a
borderless world
KissMyAsterix: we're definetly thinking alike beys



Yuck:
KissMyAsterix: that was too visual for me
KissMyAsterix: pop pop pop
Beysshoes: godwit is playful that way ... with popcorn and charlie rose.
Catpower777: what, me and godwit under the blanket with a bowl of popcorn?
Beysshoes: yes cat. nekkid
Catpower777: hey Bob
KissMyAsterix: cat... being as you said it
KissMyAsterix: I feel you should be medicated
BobsurAuntTom: Hi Cat. Cat is making me kina ill.
Catpower777: Bey, it's the only way I can get him to disrobe
KissMyAsterix: she's unwell


Coy Mistress:
Anais3233: i have a youtube account
Anais3233: harlotty harlotness!
EmpressZ21: trollopy tramp

Mixed Messages:
Beysshoes: ah empy. the golden rule. hugs after a smack
Beysshoes: binky taught me that one

Spanairds and Mexicans:
Catpower777: oh, Binx is into S&M?
EmpressZ21: yes like that just like that
Anais3233: Duh!
Beysshoes: kitkat you know i told you dat one in confidence!
Anais3233: he likes to be spanked with books
Beysshoes: 25 points
Beysshoes: so anais he had you doing that to him too???
Beysshoes: dammit and i thought i was special
Anais3233: no. i'm married.
Anais3233: but i got the hidden video
Beysshoes: oh, he is too uptight for the married thing. hidden video?
Beysshoes: i wanna see!
Anais3233: www.beysshoesspankingbinxwithbooks.com


Baiting the Cock:
Beysshoes: gyps you're crashing a girl pahty here! hola
Gypsyjo47: Beys Yeah I know a hen party when I see one.
EmpressZ21: so you were saying about the yeast infection anais
Anais3233: yes, a cock at a hen party
Anais3233: it was very lumpy
Anais3233: and burning
Beysshoes: anais. dunt get him started


Homes Remedies:
Anais3233: you know what helps with the itching?
Anais3233: yogurt
EmpressZ21: vinegar?
EmpressZ21: oh see now i heard vinegar
Beysshoes: you chicas got it wrong iffin you think this is
gonna turn gyps off. he's relentless.
EmpressZ21: something about the acid of the discharge
Anais3233: vinagar makes the skin on sensitive girly parts
toughen up and calous
Gypsyjo47: Anais hate to tell you this, but yeast feeds on yogurt...
Beysshoes: see, he knows more than you even.
Beysshoes: oofsh


Oh Mandy:
BobsurAuntTom: That Barry Manilow sure in one hell of an attractive man
Condorblues: he's kinda old isn't he
Catpower777: Bob, is that payback?
Condorblues: in his 70s
BobsurAuntTom: Payback?
Catpower777: for me making you feel nauseated?
KissMyAsterix: manilow.. geez
KissMyAsterix: paid in full
Alansueton: already?
BobsurAuntTom: There was just a Barry Manilow commercial.. I just
think he's a very handsome guy.
Alansueton: Barry Manilow looks like a Lizard now
Beysshoes: barry? handsome? WOW
Catpower777: Bob, this is not meant to be in any way judgmental
but he looks like he was drawn by Matt Groening


His Fickle Bowell:
Alansueton: I refuse to sleep or crap in the open air(except in
the case of emergency)--I must be in Air Conditioned or Well
Heated environment
Kan wa ma kan: alan they have collapsable toilets now
Condorblues: geez alan, talk about high maintenance
Alansueton: I am high maintenance
Condorblues: I will go to the bathroom just about anywhere
Alansueton: I like Artificial Paradises


Natlie's Friend:
Summers Eve L: I buy him playdough every year for xmas
Summers Eve L: He loves me.

Author's Lounge Exile:
Madam Mimi: dang Im stuck in here again

The Next Danish Cartoonist:
Zachariah957: not a Muslim god and bugs bunny are about equal to
me both are hilarious

Is she insulting us?:
Madam Mimi: let's talk about the difference between MOOT and MUTE...
Madam Mimi: oh sorry Im not in the Author's Lounge......we cant
talk about moot and mute

Defensive About Drinking:
BobsurAuntTom: I guess people get defensive when you ask them about
their drinking.
Zachariah957: not if your irish
BobsurAuntTom: I can understand that.


Might Be:
BobsurAuntTom: Mimi might be the dumbest person I've ever read online.

Mimi We Hardly Know You:
Madam Mimi: Damage was good. I like it intense and short like
my past love

Mr Sensitivty:
oooolijay: do you flirt with the psych patients?
Trvsbckl912: not yet, no
Trvsbckl912: when i was a student, doing my clinical rotation,
one of the patients was a stripper from the bar i used to go to

Rono's World:
Niontron9: I would slap my wife to uncosciousness if she was
flirting in front of me
Niontron9: you gotta be tough on women..otherwise they think
you are weak
Niontron9: and take advantage of you
Alansueton: Rono tough is not losing your cool
Niontron9: I am cool tough
Alansueton: lol
Pheziwig: If you have to slap your wife, you failed to pick a good one
AnGeLEyZ1617: woman will take advantage or men no matter what...its lame
Niontron9: I've been taken advantage but I am better equipped now

Julie Cares:
AnGeLEyZ1617: it's an expression...sorry...let me rephrase if for you
....you can do whatever you like married or not but you don't have to
tell other people who probably don't care
oooolijay: i care. i want to know when everyone masturbates
MsVictoriaLynn1: Should I keep a log Julie?
Alansueton: ooooli you know my Mastr-Clock
oooolijay: unfortunately i do, alan
AnGeLEyZ1617: welll that is good for you....but a little disturbing

Acme Products Rep:
oooolijay: now i want to look up more roadrunner cartoons on youtube

Alan Selling His Virginity:
Alansueton: nah like Blago said on the tap I ain't gonna fucking
give this up for nothing
Alansueton: (holding my jock)

Labor Negotiations:
Alansueton: ooooli in lovemaking I demand full attention from my
lady-partner and she demands and receives likewise

Born Again:
oooolijay: i hope my hymen regenerates

Love Is a Nose:
CordialCactus: i can tell you which one of my children passed gas
just by the odor
oooolijay: you're a good mom, cactus

DOES Anyone shit rainbows?:
NOTNycgirl: at work, i stick my finger up elderly people's butts
to perform disempactionsoooolijay: that is a job i would never have
Alansueton: Nyc do you wear gloves?
CordialCactus: lol
oooolijay: any job that involves sticking my finger in an old
person's ass
NOTNycgirl: ky jelly and gloves
oooolijay: or anyone's ass
Tallthinjones: is there any useful tool for that job, nyc?
CordialCactus: im thinking about phlebotomy
NOTNycgirl: it helps them and they feel much better afterwards
CordialCactus: as a job
oooolijay: i wouldn't care if it made them shit rainbows


Girls Gone Wild:
Spookyfish2: The weirdest craigslist ad I ever saw was a women
seeking to be impregnated by a homosexual atheist.
Spookyfish2: Just so she could promptly have an abortion.
oooolijay: what
oooolijay: that's just freakin weird
CordialCactus: ew to munging and lol to oooli
PatientOnion3: that's what sarah palin's daughter did
Alansueton: Spooky she hit three no no's
Spookyfish2: She wanted to piss off her conservative father, I think.
oooolijay: she couldn't just get a tattoo?


Mix and Match:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I'm reading three books
MsVictoriaLynn1: and writing two


Anais Excited:
Anais3233: i'm going to be a nurse one day. and you know what
i'm going to do then?
Fleurdelochi: go to disneyworld?
BinxB91: change sheets?
KissMyAsterix: medicate people?
Anais3233: well, i have no idea actually
Anais3233: but
Anais3233: it'll be exciting.