Lovely and Amazing

Point of View:
Summers Eve L: I'm not mean! They're just sissies.

What He Heard:
Godwit935: That John Leonard had it all over Crichton,
from what I heard.

What She Found Out:
Creepy Loner: Well, when I was a wee-Creep and in elementary
school, I'd hear people say that we had to write an "SA"...so,
at one point, I wrote just that at the top of a paper...only
to find out that it was "essay."

Found:
Lamumsie: my hubby googled my s/n, and found me in KatyTried

The Discovery Channel:
B00KGASM: Today I discovered that the Passion of the Christ
is my vagina on its period.


Except It Wasn't Called That:
Godwit935: Reagan led the screw-your-neighbor New American Philosophy.

Please Forward To KatyTried:
Melodramamama22: thats the stupidest thing i ever heard any human
being say in a chatroom

Julie's Nightmare:
Ooolijay: i could so fall asleep right now
Ooolijay: i'm so tired
Godwit935: So.
Ooolijay: exhausted really
Godwit935: Look at the way people talk.
Godwit935: I could so fall asleep.
Godwit935: What are we, ten years old.
Ooolijay: i am ten godwit

[By week four, half the class has washed out. The second phase,
in the mountains, is when the sleep deprivation starts to tell.
At night everyone expects hallucinations --- walking dreams, the
subconscious gobbling what mental airtime it can. A grad hears
trees talking to him, flags down the Ranger Instructors. "I'm
out of here," he says, "I'm done." But after some nights the
hallucinations turn manageable, become portable entertainment.
In the final weeks --- patrolling through swamps in Florida ---
Huck's Ranger buddy carefully eyes the sun as it drops behind
vines and leaves. "Let the fun begin," he says. Huck's worst
one comes while while he's squad-leading. He becomes certain
that some sort of aircraft --- a spaceship --- has landed
beside him. He turns to his Ranger buddy. "Damn, dude" he
says. "I'm gonna fail this patrol. I'm gonna kicked out." The
other LT tells him he'll be fine. "No I won't," Huck says.
"They're following us." "Who?" "Little green aliens. I'm
gonna get kicked outta here."
"And that's how Ranger School screws with you," Huck laughs.
"I wasn't upset that little green men were following us. I'm
worried that I'm gonn fail my patrol."]


Gateway Sex:
BoreUsYelledSin: Snuggling is the gateway activity to hard
and violent sex.

Don't Hold Your Breath:
Melodramamama22: i've tried to marry a lot of people out of
sheer brattiness

Intriguing Theory:
LadyMtnMedic: I kinda think Godwit may be a woman
LadyMtnMedic: if you think about it, it would explain so much...
Prospect26: I thjink Godwit is a male...a woman would not be such
a jerk,

Giveing Voice to Shelfers:
BoreUsYelledSin: All the men sound like Darth Vader and all the women
sound like Shelley Duval.

"What! Were You Married in a Barn?":
BoreUsYelledSin: Melo, aren't you married?
BoreUsYelledSin: And if you're not married, why aren't you?
Melodramamama22: bore, i am technically married, yes
Melodramamama22: but i shall technically not be married, at some
point
Melodramamama22: it depends on how fast scotland moves
BinxB91: Scotland?
Melodramamama22: no, i didn't get married on a technicality.
it got married in scotland
BinxB91: he wore a kilt??
Melodramamama22: no, he wore a suit. but were were in a barn.


Rono Dating Advice:
Onimesh: Great way to pick up women is not to use the L word
too much...
Onimesh: and don't constantly say that the woman is beautiful
Melodramamama22: onimesh, i bet she doesn't constantly say you're
beautiful either
Onimesh: and don't laugh too much when you are with someone...that
makes them think you like them

Propspect's Dinner Party:
Prospect26: Just had a great dinner party...talked about our
children still needing money and being 27- 30+ years old.

Going For the Record:
Onimesh: i have binx, bore, hary, spss, melo on ignore

Sad Sick Simulacrum:
Tem o Bedlam: There is undoubtedly some sad sick simulacrum of
power in having everybody on ignore... kinda like not being
online, but with higher energy usage.

Southerner Lesson:
Melodramamama22: what is the only hush puppy mix you should
ever buy at the store?
LadyMtnMedic: what is a hush puppy?
BoreUsYelledSin: Hushpuppie mix, huh?
Ooolijay: what is a hush puppy?
Melodramamama22: house autry, people
Melodramamama22: if you are going to undertake to make hush
puppies at home (which is ill advised)
Melodramamama22: you must have house autry
Melodramamama22: hush puppy mix
Melodramamama22: there. my duty is done.


Odds & Ends:

BoreUsYelledSin: Catfish is pretty good. I like to call it
the other white meat.

B00KGASM: I am eating tomato soup.


Teachers Have It Tough:
NoraMcKee525: melo...i hate school baby showers
Melodramamama22: nora, the principal is having a baby next week.
its enough to make you wanna off yourself. so, agreed

Punchlines:
BoreUsYelledSin: Let me think about a good joke.
BoreUsYelledSin: How about "Oh, wood-eye!"
BoreUsYelledSin: that's a good one.
Ooolijay: hair lip hair lip
BoreUsYelledSin: Big nose big nose
BoreUsYelledSin: I prefer the hair lip one.
Tem o Bedlam: I always liked "YOur sign fell down."
BoreUsYelledSin: SOmetimes just the punchlines are better than
the entire joke.
BoreUsYelledSin: I a frayed knot!
BoreUsYelledSin: Oh yeah, you shoulda seen the other guy
Tem o Bedlam: Wait til he shakes his head.
BoreUsYelledSin: So I got this thing.
BoreUsYelledSin: Relax, you're two tents
CordialCactus: but you screw one goat

An Accident Waiting to Happen:
Tem o Bedlam: Sometime in the next few days, I'm gonna have haggis.
CordialCactus: on purpose, tem?

Because He Hates Humans:
Onimesh: I saw cows having sex...

Her Dodgy Organ:
Creepy Loner: My split with him was, arguably, the worst
heartbreak of my life.
Offpat: ahhh creepy the human heart is a dodgy organ


Dust and Mold or Bodily Fluids:
MsVictoriaLynn1: How have you been Edie?
EDruezillaB: depressed and sick
EDruezillaB: but I'm remarkably better now
EDruezillaB: one was because of the first weekened in October
which I spent visiting someone and the other was because of a
weekend cleaning my garage.
EDruezillaB: the two were not connected, by the way
BinxB91: Cleaning the garage depressed you?
EDruezillaB: Binx, I spent a weekend trading bodily fluids of
every kind and I spent a weekend inhaling dust and mold.
you decide.

[Later, when they are roasting marshmellows, when he's got
the date eating off his stick, Paul will try to touch her.
He'll rest his hand on her thigh.
"I'd rather you not," she'll say. "For now I prefer to touch
myself."]

Connected Events:
Ooolijay: five people on my buddylist have away messages on
Ooolijay: i ordered a jigsaw puzzle tonight

The Long Good Bye:
Offpat: thats a culinary pun
Offpat: cuts like a knife
Offpat: forchette
Offpat: cuteau
Offpat: cuteaou
Offpat: damn
BinxB91: Offpat has been saying good bye for 20 minutes now
Alansueton: he's the James Brown of chat
Alansueton: someone keeps trying to cover him with a cape
But he gets back up to bust new moves
Offpat: HAHAH ALAN PAPAS GOT A BRAND NEW YAM

Career Path:
BinxB91: Evie, how's the waitressing going?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: its a dream come true Binx
Sleepy Eyed Evie: bringing people their food

21st Century Newton:
SteveIzHere5: stuff doesnt just land on your head
StilIJaded: yep, steve is right

Texas Football:
Ooolijay: we're under tornado watch, it's supposed to rain,
lightening, hail possibly, and they still haven't called my
nephew's flag football game

The Girls:
Anais3233: Snausage wallet!
Creepy Loner: I'm not entirely here...give me a second...
Summers Eve L: HamsterPanty!
Anais3233: i read jen lancaster, and you're so her.
Anais3233: bitch on wheels
Summers Eve L: I thought of you this weekend. I almost bought
"Dear Vodka..."
Anais3233: OMG it is SOO good
Summers Eve L: But it's totally hardback and I am too cheap for
that sh*t.
Summers Eve L: I mean she is funny. But not $24.95 funny.

Alternative Universe:
Duwamish Head: do any of you guys remember that record
"baron von toll booth and the crome nun"?
Duwamish Head: or ius it 'chrome'?

Let's Set Things Straight:
Summers Eve L: Ok. First of all. There are no mints in my restroom.

Always Anais:
Anais3233: summers, have you ever pissed in a urinal?

Cynical about KatyTried:
Offpat: a blog of this crap?
Offpat: i mean how lovely

The Shy Girl:
AnnAsphodel: This very interesting font is Palatino Linotype.
AnnAsphodel: I'm too timid to try bold tonight

Veteran's Day Blues:
AnnAsphodel: There is no trash collection tomorrow. That annoys me.
Creepy Loner: No trash-collection tomorrow?
Creepy Loner: Why not?
AnnAsphodel: Veterans' Day.
Creepy Loner: F**k!
Creepy Loner: And I took the trash DOWN.
Creepy Loner: I could have been lazy!
Creepy Loner: Argh!
AnnAsphodel: I take the trash down when I hear the truck in the morning.
Melodramamama22: creepy, lol go get the trash back

The Unexpected Ann:
BinxB91: OMG!! Ann has a Ginsberg quote in her profile!!!
AnnAsphodel: Binx, of course.
BinxB91: Does her Board of Education know??
AnnAsphodel: F**k them.
BinxB91: Geez, Ann You defy expectations
Melodramamama22: what is with all the PROFANITY in here?
AnnAsphodel: I'm famous for that.
Melodramamama22: i'm shocked
Creepy Loner: Watch out; Binx is falling in lust, Ann.
BinxB91: You could almost be CreepyLoner's roommate
BinxB91: (blush)
AnnAsphodel: I could cultivate a good AOL lust right now.
Creepy Loner: Ginsberg quotes in the profile? We'd probably
kill one another inside of a month, Binx.
Creepy Loner: Either that, or start a wild affair.
Creepy Loner: [baffled frown]
BinxB91: Ann seems like many teachers. Social life on hold
until June
Melodramamama22: what the heck's an asphodel?


Unfortunately For Her She Doesn't Mean Penises:
AnnAsphodel: I apparently have a proclivity toward dicks.

Melo Without An Answer:
Melodramamama22: we have this poor old sub, he's about 132
years old, and we had to put him on the do not call list
Melodramamama22: and his 113 year old wife came in today
crying, saying we'd destroyed his confidence
Melodramamama22: i said: um.

Binx's Date:
BinxB91: I was eating out with my daughter this summer and i
wanted to slap the waitress who seemed to be giggling at our
awkward date
Creepy Loner: [stares at Binx]
Creepy Loner: Good thing Dr. Fork missed that comment.
Creepy Loner: I'll keep it from him, Binx.
BinxB91: the waitress misread our relationship
Melodramamama22: binx, i bet she went in the back and said "gasp!
that man's old enough to be her father!"


Hand-Roll:
Creepy Loner: They'd feel bad for you guys...trust me. The moment
I hand-roll in front of anyone, all feelings of pity for me fly
right out the proverbial window.
Creepy Loner: Sucks.
Melodramamama22: i feel your handrolling pain

It Had to Happen:
BinxB91: HA Rono moved on
Creepy Loner: Thank God...
Harryshaw3178: rono got lonely. he had us all on ignore

It Gets Foggy After That:
EmpressZ21: oooo i remember one time my friends and i went
to a frat party

Affixiated:
LeCorbusier912: lull, are you mildly retarded?
LeCorbusier912: any more questions, anyone?
Lullabellee: never been affixiated with that term lecorb
LadyMtnMedic: affixiated with?
LeCorbusier912: leave it be, lady
LeCorbusier912: she's sweet
Creepy Loner: I think that was supposed to be "I've never had
that term affixed to me."
LadyMtnMedic: hoping so
Creepy Loner: Although if you're looking for asphyxiation,
Le's probably your man, Lull...
LeCorbusier912: i never tried that
LeCorbusier912: but once i used a rubber band as a cock ring when
i was jerking off and i had a terrible time getting it off

Rono's Aunties:
RONORELOADED: binx, lots of women like to walk around naked in
their rooms...
RONORELOADED: my aunties used to do it all the time...

Two Left Feet?:
Creepy Loner: Understood...those first attempts at educated
masturbation are always a little clumsy.

Invisible Forces:
Onimesh: Lulla, I think in reality, presidents have no power...
that they are controlled by invisible forces...so election
means very little to me...

Mojo Rising:
Glomawr: could ya fix me a sandwich
Glomawr: I am hungry
BoreUsYelledSin: I could use a sandwich as well.
BoreUsYelledSin: Speaking of which... have most of you had a
Cubano sandwich?
MsVictoriaLynn1: save me a Reuben
Ooolijay: what is a cubano sandwich?
BoreUsYelledSin: Come on... Cubano.
CordialCactus: what
CordialCactus: no, boreus
BoreUsYelledSin: Julie has never had a cubano... nor Cordial...
oh my god, you people HAVE to have one.
BoreUsYelledSin: I'm very serious here.
Ooolijay: what is it first
BoreUsYelledSin: One shouldn't go through life without experiencing
a cubano.
CordialCactus: Cuban sandwich - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Keyword to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_sandwich)
Glomawr: good ole Wikipedia
Ooolijay: is that it boreus?
BoreUsYelledSin: Do any of you have a Cuban restaurant within
driving distance?
CordialCactus: marinated in mojo?
CordialCactus: the meat is marinated in mojo
Glomawr: that is how I decided which way to vote.......wikipedia
CordialCactus: sometimes
BoreUsYelledSin: Its the sandwich that god blessed.
Glomawr: I looked up Republican and Wikipedia said BAD PEOPLE
Glomawr: so I voted democrat
Ooolijay: i dont know if there is a cuban restaurant around here or not
CordialCactus: Mojo (sauce) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Keyword to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojo_(sauce))
Ooolijay: what makes it so special
Glomawr: got my mojo workin
Ooolijay: that wikipedia thing says it's a ham sandwich
Ooolijay: and i have to tell ya boreus, i'm not a big fan of ham
BoreUsYelledSin: It comes with roast pork, pickle, ham (the ham
cancels out the two forms of pig to make the entire sandwich kosher)
and swiss cheese.
BoreUsYelledSin: It's not JUST ham.
CordialCactus: ham and cheese layered with pickles.. and sometimes
marinated in mojo
BoreUsYelledSin: Don't be silly.
Glomawr: ham comes from dirty pigs
BoreUsYelledSin: This sandwich is also grilled... flattened and grilled.
CordialCactus: lol @ cancels out the two forms
Ooolijay: you're trying to sell it as a kosher ham sandwich
BoreUsYelledSin: I'm sorry... I meant the pickle cancels out
the two forms of ham.
BoreUsYelledSin: I'm telling you that you haven't HAD a sandwich
until you've had a Cubano.
BoreUsYelledSin: That's what I'm telling you.
BoreUsYellSin: No ifs ands or butts.
Ooolijay: i think it's just a ham sandwich
BoreUsYelledSin: You might think that but you would be thinking
incorrectly.
BoreUsYelledSin: CC, where do you live.
Ooolijay: boreus how much have you been drinking tonight?
Ooolijay: you're really awfully excited about a ham sandwich
CordialCactus: west and south of green bay wisconsin.. im
thinking its not so much cuban central
Ooolijay: more so than any sober person would be
BoreUsYelledSin: Hmmmm... CC, how often do you make it to Chicago?
CordialCactus: a couple few times a year
BoreUsYelledSin: Hey, I had a friend that had a pretty big
show at the Green Bay or somewhere in WIsconsin Art Museum.
BoreUsYelledSin: Or at least I think he did.
BoreUsYelledSin: Ok... now I'll have to google.
CordialCactus: appleton has a lot of artsy fartsy stuff
CordialCactus: near green bay

Just Another Night On the Shelf:
Ooolijay: you guys are going to make me throw up