Yakkity Yak Yak Yak


BookShelf 2008 = BookShelf 2002
Dickenzian: Sad how this room has declined

Only the Names Have Changed:
ParaMyrrh: alright everyone who wants to see a video of
a woman shoving an aluminum bat up her butt?
Catpower777: Para, I'm sure everyone is clambering for that one


Incestuous Cures:

Prospect26: Beys...I was just sharing my life today.
Sorry I bothered you.
Beysshoes: pros! please don't take offense!
Beysshoes: you aren't bothering us ... okay i shall
light some temple incense for you son pros okay?
Beysshoes: brb (lighting incense)
Hadachoke: no incest here
Beysshoes: bobby .... brb
NoraMcKee525: beys is very slapp-y
Hadachoke: HURT me, BEAT me
Prospect26: Beys...thank you for lighting the incense.
Hopefully, he has gotten some better pain killers by now.
DinosoreVagina: yeah incense does nothing for pain
NoraMcKee525: shoulders heal pretty quickly if they are
kept immobile
DinosoreVagina: so you're saying she should tie him down?


The Finest Lovers:
PatientOnion3: bey has a white guy fetish
Beysshoes: actually its a jewish fetish but don't get
paranoid on me homer.
Beysshoes: jewish men are the finest lovers i think. except
the emotionally arrested ones like our radish
PatientOnion3: all jewish men are homosexual, because of
their oppressive overbearing neurotic mothers,
DinosoreVagina: you know that's the kind of statement that
makes one wonder if you uh... travel extensively
DinosoreVagina: and what exactly you do on vacation


Stupid Guy Interpretation of the News:
Godwit935: I see the Chinee Mooslums want to blow up the Olympics.

Beckett:
DoomGrl: i like when he gets into some really weird thing, like
the guy that moved the stones from one pocket to another and
it takes like 5 pages to describe it

Kelly's Snapper:
WarHorseThor: I bet kelly ripa shaves and has a snapper that
never gets old

People Not Like Us:
DoomGrl: i have an Enid action figure
DoomGrl: from ghost world
DoomGrl: its made by he Necessary Toy Company

So Punny:
MsVictoriaLynn1: I mentioned that he was NOT that old when he
passed away, he actualy died quite Jung....

All-Night Anais:
Anais3233: oh now that i know that annoys you...
Anais3233: i'll be sure to do it ALL night!

Who Knew?:
Godwit935: Ann Coulter is not taken seriously by thinking people.


Anais in the Lunch Room:
Godwit935: Here comes the Chinee Olympic team! 4,200 strong,
including prison laborers.
Anais3233: Listening to Godwit's opinion on anything is absurd.
It's like the babblings of the special ed table in High School.


OK, but about the "LOL":
HadleighUS: Binx, I took my wife to a theatrical production
of "The Moviegoer" and my wife hadn't read the book and was
put off by the part where Binx kicks his landlady's dog and
'sends it yowling'...LOL


Godwit Wins One:
KD81785: Had, Pat conroy is no better and no worse than his raising
HadleighUS: KD8, he has an ex-wife here in Atlanta and they are
apparently still on pretty good terms. She is a lawyer, and last
time I checked worked in a local DA's Office.
BinxB91: Pat Conroy? His Dad was scary
Godwit935: I thought his dad was 95 percent admirable.
BinxB91: The father in The Great Santini was a darling compared to
the actual father
HadleighUS: Binx, I was wondering about that
Godwit935: How do you know, Binx?
BinxB91: I read Conroy's memoir --- My Losing Season
Godwit935: Binx, so you take the son's word for truth.
BinxB91: oh Godwit stfu


Out of Context:
Danmagtom: and its moot... yoss attached it to the garage


You Won't Believe What Women Fake:

BinxB91: Melo, ever fake cry to get something you want?
Melodramamama22: binx, yes. i fake cried to get cheesecake
on friday
BinxB91: who was persuaded to give you cheese cake?
Melodramamama22: no one. i don't fake cry good. my kids
don't care.
Is She Weird 55: cheesecake is nasty
MsVictoriaLynn1: Yes Melo, but cheese cake is worth it
Melodramamama22: i know. i should have made you real cry.
Is She Weird 55: no, i real cry to get what i want
Is She Weird 55: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anais3233: I faked having diarhea, but i still had to go to
the state fair.


Future Pulitzer Winner:
Is She Weird 55: GOD i love kanye west and estelle <333333
Is She Weird 55: if i could date a black fellow, it would
be kanye west
Is She Weird 55: look at this pea coat tell me he's broke

Hillary on 3 Root Beers:
Is She Weird 55: argentina beat australia in FUTBOL
Is She Weird 55: hahhahaa


She'll Never Have Paris
Is She Weird 55: i dont have any desire to go to NYC
Is She Weird 55: i'll be living in the best city in america: chicago
Is She Weird 55: best city in north america: toronto
Is She Weird 55: best city in the world : london
Is She Weird 55: those all have o's in them


Beth Being Bad:
G0BET: I am moving to some place where there is NO PEOPLE
Melodramamama22: snicker
G0BET: I HATE HUMANS
Bethliebner: so your moving to uranus?


The Last to Know:
DinosoreVagina: it's kinda like that tree falls in the woods thing
DinosoreVagina: if you're jam's new lover and you don't notice...
did the tree make a sound
Zenchef2006: i think its more like the fart in the elevator dino
DinosoreVagina: oh, how does that one work zen?
Ooolijay: if i dont' notice the tree probably didn't' do much of anything
Ooolijay: what are you talkin about
Beysshoes: none o' yoh business ooji. we just discussing you.
Ooolijay: k


Always Onion:
PatientOnion3: thor invented penis butter
PatientOnion3: start with an uncircumsized p*nis
DinosoreVagina: so it was nice he donated it to uh..
the food pantry


Pent Up Onion:
PatientOnion3: msg is used exentesively in chinatown because
chefs are too lazy and cheap to make delicious food
PatientOnion3: and hydrogenated fat,,,,,,mmmmmmmmmmm, profit,
oreos can stay on the shelf till christ comes back
Ooolijay: onion has a lot of pent up food anger

[The year was 1955 and the place was a part of western
Connecticut where three swollen villages had lately been
merged by a wide and clamorous highway called Route Twelve.
The Laurel Players were an amateur company,but a costly
and very serious one, carefully recruited from among the
younger adults of all three towns, and this was to be their
maiden production. All winter, gathering in one another's
living rooms for excited talks about Ibsen and Shaw and
O'Neill, and then for a show of hands in which a common-
sense majority chose The Petrified Forest, and then
for preliminary casting, they had felt their dedication
grow stronger every week. They might privately consider
their director a funny little man (and he was, in a way:
he seemed incapable of any but a very earnest manner of
speaking, and would often conclude his remarks with a
little shake of the head that caused his cheeks to wobble).
but they liked and respected him, and fully believed in most
of the things he said. "Any play deserves the best that any
actor has to give," he'd told them once, and another time:
"Remember this. We're not just putting on a play here.
We're establishing a community theater, and that's a pretty
important thing to be doing."
The trouble was that from the beginning they had been
afraid they would end by making fools of themselves, and
they compounded that fear by being afraid to admit it.]


Raisin in the Plum:

Ooolijay: what the hell is spotted dick?
Various704: its a pudding,
Ooolijay: what kind of pudding is that?
Tem o Bedlam: A pudding, steamed, with plums.
Various704: been a while. i think the spots are raisns and stuff
DinosoreVagina: spots?
Zenchef2006: yes various they are
Various704: chef would know better
Ooolijay: i like raisins, but only by themselves
Ooolijay: i dont like to find a raisin hanging out in other food
Ooolijay: like a muffin
Jam7604801: my grandma makes chocolate raisin pie
Ooolijay: i have food texture issues
Ooolijay: so i can't do that
Tem o Bedlam: In the 18th century, raisins were frquently called
plums. I doubt anybody afloat actually used plums in "plum duff."



Here to Unwind:
CordialCactus: but he's bettah now, yes?
Tem o Bedlam: Driving for ten hours with two small children...
and you came HERE to unwind?
PatientOnion3: Where did you get the kids from?


Let Me Do Your Back:
Boogieman1971: any woman with long nails here?
PatientOnion3: boogieman, i have long nails, let me do your back
Beysshoes: ew bunion
Ooolijay: that's just icky
Boogieman1971: ok
Boogieman1971: how long are they?
CordialCactus: scratching backs is the way i file my nails
Zenchef2006: meow cactus!!
Boogieman1971: how long are yours patient?


Ass Kicking to Come:
Ooolijay: wonder if boogieman got his ass kicked in an IM to onion
Ooolijay: he's been pretty quiet
Boogieman1971: no not yet



Toto, I don't think we're in Fleurdelochi anymore:

Tem o Bedlam: It has been widely known what causes kids
for at least 6000 years. Any day, this knowledge will
seep into Kansas.
Fleurdelochi: tem....>smack<
Tem o Bedlam: Ouch...
Fleurdelochi: (i was born in kansas)
PatientOnion3: Dorothy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fleurdelochi: (and my gramma is buried there)
DinosoreVagina: Toto!!
Beysshoes: obama kin!
DinosoreVagina: who's dorothy?
CordialCactus: auntie em!

Trivia Break:
PatientOnion3: what was dorothy's last name?
Fleurdelochi: gale


Lying Older Brothers:
IrishDudeinCa1: i had 9 older brothers i didn't know
chickens had white meat till i left home


Olympic Dreams:
Zenchef2006: well looks like the u.s. still wont get a
gold medal in judo
Zenchef2006: so i still have a chance to get the first one
Jam7604801: Zen do americans really care?
DinosoreVagina: Zen! we're counting on you!
Zenchef2006: well this american does
Tem o Bedlam: Wait a minute! This isn't a medal, it's a MAO button!
DinosoreVagina: I care I care
Zenchef2006: aww shucks dino
Jam7604801: if Zen was in it i would watch dino
Zenchef2006: although if i do make it to the 2012 olympics ill be
the oldest competitor in olympic judo history
DinosoreVagina: sure Jam, sure
DinosoreVagina: Zen, I think they've broken a few age barriers this year
IrishDudeinCa1: Zen and the art of motorcylce maintance



Drunken Revelry With Q-tips:

DinosoreVagina: how drunk are you guys?
Fleurdelochi: not nearly enough
DinosoreVagina: no shit
Various704: just the usual glue for me, dino
CordialCactus: im travelin' tipsy.. slap happy and not
with it.. but not drunk
Beysshoes: candy been drinkin heavy for 3 weeks gina
Fleurdelochi: i was cleaning my keyboard with q-tips
Tem o Bedlam: ::breathalyzing::
DinosoreVagina: figures Various, glue hog
Ooolijay: i'm not drunk
CordialCactus: beys, i wish
DinosoreVagina: you were gone a while Cactus
CordialCactus: i hada margarita once.. and went out with
my brother once..that's about it
DinosoreVagina: did you get lost?



Cheater:
Ooolijay: you have a gun to your head various
Ooolijay: pick a guy
Various704: um, catherine zeta jones in a flase moustache


Jam Ads:
Jam7604801: anyone seen the commercial on tv where ruby tuedays
is apologizing for blowing up some restaurant


Bidet Reflections:
CordialCactus: bidet said to me.. cordial, you seem
nice.. I hate you
PatientOnion3: bidet is a wonderful person if you want to talk
about cooking
CordialCactus: then i said, well hi there.. she said.. stfu
Beysshoes: bidet has no loyalties. she's a drunk. and a mean
drunk. like blt.
PatientOnion3: you just have to know how to talk to texas women
Tem o Bedlam: Bidet is a wonderful person if you remember how
to work "Ignore member..."
Jam7604801: no bey i have a pic of bidet she looks a bit homey
Beysshoes: that's no excuse for meanness jam. lots of gals are ugly


Beys Alone:

Beysshoes: gina you beach. where you at?
Beysshoes: oscar. shaving for his interview.
Beysshoes: tem smoking and coughing.
Beysshoes: onion cooking while honking da bo bo
Various704: here, bey
Tem o Bedlam: <--quit smoking.
Tem o Bedlam: I just cough now.
Tem o Bedlam: To paraphrase Gallileo, they showed me the x rays.


Common Sense:

Jam7604801: dino i don't know either she's not making sense
like Prospect
Beysshoes: pros? is that you?
DinosoreVagina: Jamlady is that you?
Jam7604801: its jambones now
DinosoreVagina: we don't know a jambones, we know a jamlady
Ooolijay: holy fuck
Ooolijay: i'm exhausted now
DinosoreVagina: the typos really take it out of you Ooo
Jam7604801: told ya cybersex would make you tired julie
Ooolijay: no kidding
Various704: yeah, im bushed
Ooolijay: i didn't think it was going to happen
DinosoreVagina: you're all smoking right now aren't you?
Ooolijay: i wish
Jam7604801: yep i am
Jam7604801: just rolled it dino




Stuff Only Beysshoes Knows:

Beysshoes: where is onion?
DinosoreVagina: he's making up a recipe for chicken fingers
Beysshoes: did i hurt him comparing him to bidet like that?
DinosoreVagina: I doubt it
Beysshoes: he's very sensitive gina
Beysshoes: he is.
DinosoreVagina: did you say she cooked better?


We All Need the Human Touch:
Jam7604801: i have muscular fingers
DinosoreVagina: muscular fingers?
Jam7604801: all that mechanic work
DinosoreVagina: ok don't tell us your work out routine
Beysshoes: chicas dont care about the muscularity of mens
fingers jambones



Beth Has Sex:
Bethliebner: the only time im a theist is during sex....lol

Beth Aroused:
Bethliebner: dick
Bethliebner: dick
Dickenzian: Ok, the scroll is slowing down, Beth ain't gonna
get naked, I may as well get horizontal and sleep
Bethliebner: dick
Bethliebner: dick

Carbo Loading Needed:
Jam7604801: i was over at pogo getting hit on then i got
a migraine and had to leave
DinosoreVagina: getting hit on gave you a migraine?
Jam7604801: lack of food dino
Jam7604801: i used all my energy up flirting
DinosoreVagina: that's poor planning jam
DinosoreVagina: why didn't you say, hold that thought and
go grab a snack
Jam7604801: well dino i wasn't planning on staying as long as i did


Couldn't Escape With a Kiss on the Cheek:

MyndlessChat: no, beg than I was little boy
MyndlessChat: I was not allowed to get married
MyndlessChat: even tho many were craving me
MyndlessChat: my whole body
Anais3233: hahahahahaha
Anais3233: sure they were
MsVictoriaLynn1: :-X
Anais3233: your delusions are funny
Treeluva: funny.
Anais3233: keep going
MyndlessChat: I had sex with lots of old aunties
LadyQuasi: Nice restraint, Vic
MyndlessChat: distant relative aunties...

People Not Getting Federal Funding:
Melodramamama22: maybe menses paintings are done w/ the
blood of the people who got near the one who was pms'ing?
Anais3233: but that's one frugal ass bitch using menstrual
blood instead of paint.
Anais3233: she might be related to onion


Gotta be Quick:
Palmbeachtimes48: anyone actually talking about books
ThePaIeRlDER: nobody palm!
Beysshoes: palm. wednesdays are for book chatting.
MsVictoriaLynn1: no Palm, never, Don't feel bad, I made that
mistake too
ThePaIeRlDER: monday is sex talk!
Beysshoes: unless you want to pay extra dues.
Palmbeachtimes48: lol oh well
SemiLitterate: We relapse, but you gotta be lucky & quick
ThePaIeRlDER: we are talkin bush and weenar!
Glomawr: <--------have paid my dues for the year
RabbleYale: QPB is a good book club
Glomawr: good thru 12/31
RabbleYale: been a member for over 4 years ....no problems
Questing46: Oh. Dues. I have never paid. Guess I'd better leave.
Glomawr: wait Quest.....I am the collector
Glomawr: that will be ...........uh.............$50
Glomawr: you can send it by PayPal


He Thinks He's Flirting:
Dickenzian: Beth are you in Pennsylvania?
Bethliebner: i am


Very Reformed Jews:
Beysshoes: rabbi. pls bless our chatroom yes?
RabbleYale: im a rabble , not a rabbi 8-)
Beysshoes: we don't make those distinctions in here rabbi
Glomawr: rabbit not a rabble
Beysshoes: you went to yale. good enough.


Beth Breaking Out:
Bethliebner: do you guys want to have a party on january 16?
ThePaIeRlDER: beth, is it casual?
Bethliebner: isnt that the day of the inauguration of the new president
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister what have you doneeeeeeeeeeee
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister your the only one
SemiLitterate: Billy Idol?
RabbleYale: y u h , semi
Bethliebner: hey little sister whos the only one
Glomawr: used to be good bourbon.......not sure if they still make it
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister whose yer superman hey little sister
NoraMcKee525: ::pumping fist in air::
ThePaIeRlDER: whose the one ya want
SemiLitterate: Ancient Age
Dickenzian: Ever play volleyball in a bikini Beth?
Bethliebner: its a nic day for a white wedding
ThePaIeRlDER: hey little sister shotgun
Bethliebner: im a nudist
ThePaIeRlDER: beth your my kinda woman
ThePaIeRlDER: busty and nude


Nora Being Coy:
Beysshoes: nora! your candycanecanola is back!
DinosoreVagina: Nora is still coming down from the high
Beysshoes: i told her how you made us talk about her every night nora
NoraMcKee525: i did NOT beys


Beysshoes' Best Fantasy:
Dickenzian: I need coffee. Bey get me coffee
Beysshoes: here fezz. have some o' dis...
Dickenzian: ?
MsVictoriaLynn1: sheesh... I went and got my own, if I'd known
Beys was pouring, I'd have stayed
Beysshoes: (that was hot tea dropped on yoh lap. solly)



OMG! Beys being playful!:

Beysshoes: les. i was being playful last night. pls don't
get all hurt and sulky.
Catpower777: what did you do to Onion, Bey?
Beysshoes: you know i love you. don't make me telephone yoh ass now.
Beysshoes: just joshing wid da boy cat
Beysshoes: calling him a socio like bidet was all. cat. too much?
Catpower777: lol Bey...ya think?
NoraMcKee525: um...just a smidge
Beysshoes: i waz aksing cat nora.
NoraMcKee525: haha
Beysshoes: hehehe
NoraMcKee525: i loves when beys slaps me
Beysshoes: now nora. dats all okay? ya know i only seriously
bruise up boys.



Odds and Ends:

MsVictoriaLynn1: I sent my daughter to school with an
autographed photo of Vince Gill

Zenchef2006: my mother has a wicked backhand and wears lots of rings

Boulshevit: Some of us were born in the Soviet Empire.....
what can you do..I'm drun

TacoDreamMachine: I just ate a plum the size of a hail stone

Melodramamama22: i was fired from a Shonies in college for refusing
to wear a hairnet

CordialCactus: i have one big asshat box

PatientOnion3: i bought french plums and they were juicy like you

Ooolijay: jesus i've been sitting here too long.
my ass is cramping up

EDruezillaB: My friend just broke an egg on my head



Play the Tongue:
Creepy Loner: I think that I'd look great with a spikey
heavy-metal guitar.
Creepy Loner: I'd make obscene gestures with my tongue while playing it...
Creepy Loner: Like Nigel Tufnel.

Out of Coffee, so ...:
MsVictoriaLynn1: <--- getting naked again... screw the coffee


Food Snot:
Creepy Loner: [sneeze]
Creepy Loner: Good lord...that had so much power that a booger
shot right on to my monitor.
Creepy Loner: It landed on FoodSlut's name...


Disrespecting the Olsons and Others:
Ooolijay: i would eat bob saget's giblets
HelenaHandbagg: lol mary kate and ashley were going to be here
but they heard there was going to be food hahahaha
MsVictoriaLynn1: they ar both anorexic, and have been reduced to
eating each other
HelenaHandbagg: seven words you can never hear on television "and
the emmy goes to bob saget"

Disrespecting Mary Tyler Moore:
Bethliebner: according to cloris leechman when mary tyler moore
had an orgasm she threw her hat in the air
ThePaIeRlDER: shes gonna make it on her own!!

A Guy Thing:
ThePaIeRlDER: i broke my fingure this morning putting up
storm shutters
ThePaIeRlDER: then i banged a 4 inch gash in my head an hour
ago stupidly
ThePaIeRlDER: its still oozing
HelenaHandbagg: you banged a four inch gash?
ThePaIeRlDER: the old lady is raggin me ta get stitches
Tammynet: shouldn't you go to the er or something
ThePaIeRlDER: but i dnr want my head shaved
DinosoreVagina: suffer for your art
Ooolijay: rider i think a shaved head at this point is the least of
your problems
ThePaIeRlDER: an er visit is easily a grand
ThePaIeRlDER: i have no ins

Don't Mess With Leonard:
Heathclf67: my nephew Leonard once talked about using the washer
to clean his boy friend's cat, but he didn't do it.

The Elusive Beth:
Dickenzian: And there goes Beth, ignoring me again


Singing the Tale:

Heathclf67: My late wife, Catherine, sometimes made disparaging
remarks about fag hags.
Heathclf67: I told her I thought she was being unking.
Heathclf67: unkind, that is.
EmpressZ21: it's me im cathy ive come home love im so cold
EmpressZ21: let me in your window
Heathclf67: cold?
Heathclf67: must not be in the U.S.
EmpressZ21: well yes cold
EmpressZ21: out on the winding windy moors
EmpressZ21: i was singing the tale
Heathclf67: My mama was real fond of the Brontes
Heathclf67: I considered it pretty much a burden when I was a youngun

HE Works in Mysterious Ways:
Dickenzian: Bey is here, God hates me


God is Dead, Might as well chat:
Dickenzian: "God is dead"--Nietzche
Dickenzian: "If Nietzche is right, there is an opening at the
very top"-Cheney
MsVictoriaLynn1: "Nietzche is dead and Cheney is asking for
it..." God
Charmngbilly2: Nietzche would have been more effective if he hadn't
gone nuts and was arrested for arguing with a mule in the middle of
some street in a Bavarian village


Spell Chezsck:

Ooolijay: okay you guys are driving me nuts with this
Ooolijay: it's spelled nietzsche
Ooolijay: your'e forgetting the s
BD Radical84: lalalalala
Ooolijay: i tried to ignore it i really did
Hadachoke: damn krauts....
Summers Eve L: Kneetshe
MsVictoriaLynn1: YES! Julie finally found her Nietszche...:)
Summers Eve L: Neatche
Charmngbilly2: we're using the pinyin variant LOL
Hadachoke: ya mean Pidgin
Tem o Bedlam: Kinda like watching the French spell Shostakovich...
It just PISSES YOU OFF, after a while...
Dickenzian: Nietzche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you
stronger," Of course, they didn't have land mines back then
Ooolijay: dick...yer killin me


Dick, Your Straight Line Is Here:
MsVictoriaLynn1: <--- my mom didn't raise any idiot...;-)
Dickenzian: You ever find your mother?
Tem o Bedlam: You're an orphan?

Monk Reflects:
DinosoreVagina: what's the best question you've ever gotten?
JimJones912: vaginia, i couldn't say

Beth Excited:
Bethliebner: is anyone excited that beverly hills 90210 is
coming back on?


"I almost said fuck but ...":

Ooolijay: send me a list of good movies
Ooolijay: email
JimJones912: oooli, i have them listed on my mayor mccheese
myspace profile
JimJones912: some of them
Ooolijay: i dont know how to get to that
Ooolijay: and will forget anyway
Ooolijay: just email them
JimJones912: i'd need a picture first
Ooolijay: i told you i dont have one
JimJones912: i reciprocate, never initiate
JimJones912: i did jesse jackson there
Ooolijay: yes you did
JimJones912: then i don;t have a list!
JimJones912: n't
Ooolijay: i almost said fuck you but that made me laugh


Not to be Ironic:
BinxB91: Jim/Monk, what book would you order if you were in
prison and could be allowed only one book a year?
JimJones912: not to be ironic or whatever, but probably crime
& punishmentBD
Radical84: "How to Get out of Jail for Dummies"
MsVictoriaLynn1: Binx... I'd order the OED, it has all the other
books in English in it

Please, test your theory:
Ooolijay: para you do not look like you can take a punch

Afraid to Peek:
HelenaHandbagg: there's a racoon on my roof... or it's a psycopath
with a chainsaw... i'm afraid to peek