PatientOnion-O-Rama/ Lesbian Colony/2 mentions of "hooha"/
Dumb Jokes/ Discreet Deletions/What Really Happened to
Sleepy Eyed Evie's Underwear?


Detests Politics and Gardening:
Is She Weird 55: whats up with this chatroom becoming more and
more dull?
Is She Weird 55: everytime i come in here it's either politics
or some hoe


His Finger Vs Her Hooha:

Jam7604801: i can tell you about how tough my fingers are i
once shot a 16 penny nail though one of my fingers i once
had a bolt smash all the way into my finger nail and i once
had a splinter go under my nail and the other end came out my
Jam7604801: first knuckle
CordialCactus: jam.. eek
Hadachoke: jam, was any of that accidental?
CordialCactus: well, let me tell you about my hooha, i once
gave birth to an almost 11 pound baby.. thats how tough my
hooha is! and i went on to have 3 more
CoCordialCactus: i cant believe i said that


Why Barnes&Noble Sells Coffee:
Lilly Carden: Do you know that only 18% of people ever read
a book after they've completed their formal education?
Lilly Carden: That's why Barnes and Noble sells coffee


Onions say "huh?":

Q4Omega: onion, why the fuck have you not told me if you felt
that i was stalking you? i would've either left the room for
good or explained my intentions to you better
PatientOnion3: huh?
Fleurdelochi: LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Fleurdelochi: omfg
Fleurdelochi: that was priceless
Q4Omega: my apologies, onion... i suppose i might've misunderstood
CordialCactus: lol fleur
PatientOnion3: men!!!!!!!!!!!


Odds and Ends and Odds:

Nvr4getUrTowel: I don't like things that stick to my teeth.

CordialCactus: you know.. i dont think i have ever eaten pralines

Sleepy Eyed Evie: i saw that there were like 12 people in Thinkers today

Beysshoes: i got all excited about jail

BinxB91: If I ever get back to teaching high school I will show
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest to open my Civics class

Creepy Loner: I love to feel like I'm annoying everyone.

WarHorseThor: we know you are a jew

B00KGASM: Anyone familiar with JULIE DOIRON?

DoomGrl: i think people are mean in the real world too

Tallthinjones: any one headed to mecca this summer?

PatientOnion3: i ate a stalk of celery and a cucumber of the
pickle species

[The spring I bought my first car I stopped at a Dairy Queen
on my way home from work every afternoon. I wasn't particularly
hungry for ice cream. I just liked to sit in my car in the
parking lot, an ice cream cone in my hand, and watch the
procession of other cars heading home. My car was like a metal-
and-glass tent picthed around me. I loved being alone, claiming
a little territory out in the middle of an empty parking lot.
I couldn't beleive that I had done without a car for so long,
until I was twenty-seven.]


Earthly Pleasures:

CordialCactus: mmm.. i love a satisfying sneeze
Hadachoke: me too
Hadachoke: sneezes and farts are God's way of rewarding us
WildCIAagent: CC, doesn't it scratch things out so well?
CordialCactus: lol hada
CordialCactus: cia.. yes!
CordialCactus: When you get to be my age I want you to remember
this: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a good hardon, and
never trust a fart.
CordialCactus: Jack Nicholson, The Bucket List
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i'm only 21 and I already never pass up a
bathroom
CordialCactus: but, is hardon one or two words
Hadachoke: my good hardon days are a thing of the past :(
CordialCactus: aw hada.. but what a run... yes?
CordialCactus: no?
Hadachoke: lol... yeah
Sleepy Eyed Evie: when my friend and I got stuck in the elevator
she had to go to the bathroom really bad
Sleepy Eyed Evie: so i've learned never to get on an elevator if
you have to go
Hadachoke: sometimes i sneak up on it and use it before it knows
what i'm doing
CordialCactus: omg
CordialCactus: lol
CordialCactus: oh i love you hada
Hadachoke: looves ya too, cc :)


Puzzling Profile:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: lydia why are sharpie pens your favorite gadget?

Sinful to Waste Food:
Tallthinjones: hi cordial, my boxer just finished the last
oatmeal pancake

Unless You're in Middle School:
Godwit935: Dick is a perfectly honorable nickname.

Between Despair and Ecstasy?:
Tallthinjones: those waffle houses give you too many choices


They Weren't Just Twitchy?:

WildCIAagent: My Father in law married again at 73 years of age.
WildCIAagent: I know they did it.
WildCIAagent: They came to our house and did it on a squeaky bed.


Summertime and the Reading's Easy:

UPriedMyEyesOpen: um... well, i like to read anything. it's
particularly weird for me to explain because i have "a.d.d."
and so it is very difficult for me to read at all. in fact,
i take medication so i can focus enough to do it at all. so,
it makes
UPriedMyEyesOpen: me appreciate it a lot more.
Dickenzian: This scroll should be accompanied by circus music
OnlineHost: LeslieHapablap has left the room.
Tem o Bedlam: I'm sorry to hear it. Life is miserable enough
when reading is easy.


Reruns:
Prospect26: Lady,hope you can sleep. We've had this dialogue before.


::::::

Tem o Bedlam: Forget the colon. I'm damned if I'll take part in
anybody's colon chat.
Fleurdelochi: tem, ever see the inside of a colon?
Lamumsie: I have, Fleur!
Fleurdelochi: it glistens
Fleurdelochi: tem, one of my duties at a prior job was
assisting with sigmoidoscopies
Fleurdelochi: and a properly prepared colon glistens inside
Tem o Bedlam: Boy, I'll bet yer as fun date...
Fleurdelochi: who...me?
LadyMtnMedic: you were a tech Fleur?
MsVictoriaLynn1: A shiney colon is a HAPPY colon
Fleurdelochi: rn, lady
Melodramamama22: you prepare those things with olive oil?
MsVictoriaLynn1: Fleur?
LadyMtnMedic: ah ha, so you DO know too
Fleurdelochi: oui, vicky?
Tem o Bedlam: Gimme a Cristobal Colon, any day.
MsVictoriaLynn1: after you've had colon surgery and are given
a colostomy, do you leave the hospital with a "semi-colon"?
Lamumsie: Vicky!
Tem o Bedlam: Got me, but it seems to be in New Old Norse.
UPriedMyEyesOpen: yeah, i have no idea what's going on/
Fleurdelochi: i am never speaking to you again
Melodramamama22: you know how the queen mum always carried
that little handbag around?
Fleurdelochi: ever
Lamumsie: rofl
Melodramamama22: her colostomy bag was in there
Fleurdelochi: never, ever
LadyMtnMedic: you leave drinking gin and colonics
Dickenzian: this room needs a rim shot
Lamumsie: gin for fun, colonics to keep it clean
MsVictoriaLynn1: Ahhh... chaos, disorder puns... my work here
is done...:)
Melodramamama22: bada bing
Tem o Bedlam: Hi, colonics! ::waving::
LadyMtnMedic: ty Melo
PriedMyEyesOpen: why are we talking about colonics?
Melodramamama22: i dunno, but its making me a bit queasy
Lamumsie: no subject is left unscathed
Dickenzian: Maybe because most of us--nevermind
MsVictoriaLynn1: here we are, getting high on colonics
Tem o Bedlam: Things got away from me... I was talking about
the Iliad.


Max's Weed:

Max 314159265358: Weed gave me an erection for over 6 hours
Beysshoes: give some to bobby please...he reports his huevos
have shrunken.
Hadachoke: i hard boiled my huevos
Max 314159265358: I haven't done pot for 27 in months
Max 314159265358: I haven't had a blowjob in 27 months...
Beysshoes: lordy max how many girls wanna do head for 6 hours?


Kafka Discussion Time-Out:

B00KGASM: I gave my bf a bj for 45 minutes straight. He
had three orgasms.
PatientOnion3: book slut, is it on you tube?
B00KGASM: My lips were swollen.
PatientOnion3: url please
Bethliebner: dont forget to ice them book
PatientOnion3: i thought it was the botox
PatientOnion3: i got some ice for you in my lap tease-ya
PatientOnion3: okay, back to our discussion of the stories of
Frank Kafka
PatientOnion3: Frank started as a stand-up comedian, as most
jews did in Prague before WW2


The Stoical BethLiebner:
PatientOnion3: beth, go back to sleep please
PatientOnion3: we are talking about ADULT stuff
Beysshoes: hola beth, did onion drug you again???
PatientOnion3: beth needs her rest bey
PatientOnion3: leave her be
Melodramamama22:
Melodramamama22: fight back beth!
Melodramamama22: woohoo!!
Lamumsie: double woohoo!
Beysshoes: she can't mama, onion chains her



Bookgasm Fan:
KLMackintosh: Bookgasm, what a fantastic SN
Beysshoes: hola apples

LadyMountainMedic Fan:
Prospect26: Lady...I know you are still here


Onion's Real Life:
PatientOnion3: too tall & too thin jones said frank kafka
made him want to be a writer more than a janitor, after reading
THE TRIAL, he threw away his mop, wrote a best seller and the
rest is history
Beysshoes: homer, jones is a highly acclaimed writer IRL
PatientOnion3: IRL is NOT AOL


Everyone's Gone to the Movies:

PatientOnion3: the Lumiere is by my house, they ALWAYS have THREE
hot indie flicks
PatientOnion3: 365 days a year
ManiacEyeball: hmm.
ManiacEyeball: i might go tonite if i see anything interesting there
PatientOnion3: let me look
PatientOnion3: for the zip, probably same as mine
ManiacEyeball: just tell me yours
ManiacEyeball: it will show up
ManiacEyeball: if you're across the street
PatientOnion3: god bless our hot mayor gavin
ManiacEyeball: onion you are so sweet sometimes <3 <3


Meet Elena:
Darkcurlygrl: oh my god all these farts need to be released
Darkcurlygrl: i need some gas x
Darkcurlygrl: hold on


Whackadoodle:

Darkcurlygrl: does anyone want chocolate milk?
MsVictoriaLynn1: I do...:)
Darkcurlygrl: does anyone want breastmilk?
Darkcurlygrl: it'll come straight from my titties
Beysshoes: breast milk? you're nursing for dollars this Sunday curly?
Darkcurlygrl: yes bey
Darkcurlygrl: and as a bonus, i'm so fat that i look pregnant
Beysshoes: that's an honest americana job curly. you go girl.
Darkcurlygrl: bey i don't think that anyone could put up with me
not even my kids
Beysshoes: fourth of July is next week...your boobs'll get better
traffic then. pls dunt fret



Dumb Joke:
ThePaIeRlDER: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
ThePaIeRlDER: "Don't let your son go down on me."


Dumb Joke II:

Zenchef2006: im reminded of my birthday virgin hooha joke now
Fairywing3: uh oh
M2danz: let er rip
Zenchef2006: uh i mean weddin nite virgin
Zenchef2006: shall i tell it dino??
DinosoreVagina: sure zen
Zenchef2006: okay here goes
Zenchef2006: a young bride to be goes to her older sister with
a problem
Zenchef2006: she told her soon to be husband that she was a virgin
and she isnt
Zenchef2006: her older sister tells her to put a piece of raw
liver in her hooha and her hubbie will never know
Zenchef2006: so its the honeymoon nite and it is the most incredible
sex
Beysshoes: zen, you talkin' prison talk tonight.
Zenchef2006: she passes out from so many orgasms and wakes up to
find not her new husband but a note next to her
DinosoreVagina: raw liver is prison talk?
Tallthinjones: well she can forget about oral sex for nine or ten
years, zen after a caper like that
Zenchef2006: the note reads "darling, last nite was amazing but i
can never forgive myself for what i did to you. goodbye forever"
CordialCactus: lol
Zenchef2006: p.s. "oh by the way your vagina is in the bathroom sink"
Hadachoke: lol
CordialCactus: oh premature lol...
CordialCactus: ok...
Tallthinjones: hahaha
Fleurdelochi: cactus, you can put lots of things in there...roasted
peppers, crushed olives...
Beysshoes: zen learned some prison jokes today oof
Hadachoke: shrunken huevos....
Zenchef2006: lol no actually my foster grandmother told me that one
CordialCactus: wow... so its a cornucopia of delightful goodness
M2danz: Zen that is so nasty .. I gotta tell my wife



Onion Says You Have Nice Breasts:
WEyesShut: im sarah ...
WEyesShut: SARAH HATES JEWS
WEyesShut: remember


More Than A Fan:
Prospect26: Lady...you are straighr out!
Prospect26: straightr
LadyMtnMedic: Prospect, what are you talking about?


Jones Remembers Chemistry Class:
Tallthinjones: my chinese lab partner asked me if i ate pork
she said she could smell it
Tallthinjones: i lived in a hog wallow, i didn't eat pigs

Onion's Cousin:
Tallthinjones: norah jones is o.k. but every song sounds identical
to the last
Rafo65: Sunrise, Sunrise.. come and meet my steamy thighs..
Beysshoes: raf are you onions cousin?


LynBelle's Stalker Meets Crazy Onion:

HCSMAUI: Lynn Belle, where is she?
PatientOnion3: maui, my fave gay from the big island, you
coconut humper, tell onion what you are wearing
PatientOnion3: a grass skirt, let onion play with your snake in
the grass
HCSMAUI: Is Lynn Belle a male?
PatientOnion3: yes lynn is a male you perverted same sex lover
of men, i want to make your volcano erupt, give onion a kiss
GaryWarrenMoore: lol, what did I walk into?
HCSMAUI: I am sorry, I thought she was female. I have no interest
in males
PatientOnion3: maui, give me your five o clock stubble on my virile
vietnam vet thighs
PatientOnion3: maui, DON'T TEASE ME, i have post-traumatic stress
syndrome
PatientOnion3: i will explode
PatientOnion3: all over your freaky world
HCSMAUI: I am a vet, shot in the foot. Where were you?
PatientOnion3: hue
PatientOnion3: if i get out of my rusty cage, our bond will be
consummated
PatientOnion3: give me your phone number
DinosoreVagina: I want to listen in on that chat
HCSMAUI: You will truly only bond with yourself.
PatientOnion3: take off your pants, let's bond in front of the
others and show them what vet love is all about Maui
HCSMAUI: Look in the mirror and watch the bond
DinosoreVagina: the voice of experience?
PatientOnion3: maui you have a big bat like barry
HCSMAUI: Never mind you foolish gay man. You are an idiot of the
worst kind
PatientOnion3: maui, you sweet talking savage you
PatientOnion3: more more more
PatientOnion3: took long enough
DinosoreVagina: wow
PatientOnion3: he likes it
DinosoreVagina: two minutes thirty seven seconds



Godwit's Dance Partner:
EDruezillaB: It has now become obvious you're just full of crap.


Waaaaay TMI:
Summers Eve L: Now I am giving out TMI, but I was that way until
I started masturbating more, and once I got really familiar with
what it takes to please me, now I make sure I get mine no matter
the skills of my partner.
Darkcurlygrl: EVE that's exactly how my mom thinks


Melo's Friend:
Melodramamama22: she met him on, and i quote: hothornyhookups.com
Melodramamama22: "heehee" she said afterwards
DinosoreVagina: omgT
hePaIeRlDER: omfg
Melodramamama22: i know. and three weeks later, he moved in

Best Greeting:
Is She Weird 55: yo yo friends!
Is She Weird 55: what's good in the club house?
Is She Weird 55: i am drinking some nice tea

Hillary's Thing:
Is She Weird 55: i am so into indian people on aol



Chat Standards:
Summers Eve L: Type in all caps I assume you are an assclown.

Ass Clowns need to be told twice:
Darkcurlygrl: BOOKGASM, ALL THE BOYS THINK UR HOT
Summers Eve L: DARK YOU ARE DOING IT AGAIN
Darkcurlygrl: sorry gawd


ZOE's party girl friend:

ZOEaudra: what u just said reminded me of one party girl i knew
ZOEaudra: she wasn't educated to a level for which i would
equate as having an iq higher than 100, but her EQ seems like
shooting off the roof
ZOEaudra: she told me "women dun need to be understood, women
need to be loved, men dun need to be loved, but men need to be
understood"
ZOEaudra: and then she'd added "men are easy to understand"
ZOEaudra: i asked how so
ZOEaudra: she said "they are dogs"
Summers Eve L: Well that sums it all up in a neat little package
and ties it with a bow doesn't it.



What's a Knucklehead:

BinxB91: ZOE, you're a knucklehead
ZOEaudra: what is a knucklehead
ZOEaudra: i know it is an american insult...but it is
not exactly mean
DinosoreVagina: well it's the opposite of brain surgeon
ZOEaudra: i can't really tell when an american insult is meant
to be hurtful or just sarcastic
ZOEaudra: i can totally appreciate sarcasm
ZOEaudra: but then it is difficult to tell in chats
ZOEaudra: because with sarcasm, tonal effects are crucial in
its execution
Summers Eve L: From the 1930's (circa). Refers to a person of
questionable intelligence. The size of the brain being given
relative size of a human knuckle. Similar to pinhead.


Yet Another Ass Clown:
Summers Eve L: I never liked Eeyore that whiney bastard.


Is Anybody Listening?:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i scratched myself on a rusty screw
MsVictoriaLynn1: wasn't that a Sinatra song, "That's why the lady
has the cramps"?
ZOEaudra: for a bit, my rampant posts were not reflected on the screen
Mimis Overbite: I hear some certain girls in here are kind of crazy
especially in IM's
AA Birthday Pony: seriously?
Mimis Overbite: *cough B00k ...cough*
Creepy Loner: I just got tired.


"let's get this room upbeat":
Prospect26: Lady...let's get this room upbeat. What is there to do in Denver...flying into a wedding.
Prospect26: Lady...my husband and I will be meeting up with our daughter
...Want to meet up? After all these years?
LadyMtnMedic: Thank you for the offer, but I am sure you will have
a great time with your family


Grunt for Me:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: I've lost interest in Wimbledon now that sharapova
lost
Sleepy Eyed Evie: most people hate the way she grunts when she his it
Sleepy Eyed Evie: but it doesnt bother me
FoodSIut: when she hits it?


Onion Fantasy:
FoodSIut: gypsy what are you wearing?
FoodSIut: just some spurs & tumbleweed boxers?

Onion Dimentia:
PatientOnion3: Lisette, you missed it
EmpressZ21: dangit i always miss it
PatientOnion3: Gypsy complained about his wife and beth consoled him
PatientOnion3: I think they may get married soon, once the
divorce is final
EmpressZ21: another wedding!


Stalin Was Bulemic?:
WarHorseThor: to understand stalins purging, one must first
understand russians

I penciled it in at 4:15:
Unyugoj: Im getting laid later today



Rant Rant Rant:

SpecialGlRL13057: Doc, are you worried about Obama?
Doc Whew: shoul di be?
Doc Whew: i am trying to figure out
Doc Whew: any reason
Doc Whew: to vote for him
Doc Whew: independent of some lame lesser of evils
Doc Whew: argument
Doc Whew: this man says nothing
Doc Whew: did nothing
Doc Whew: and people want him
Doc Whew: i cant believe it
Doc Whew: if they force me to go with a pne payer insurance
Doc Whew: i will have to close my practice
Doc Whew: it would be overrun with patietns
Doc Whew: i would be flooded with indigents
Doc Whew: one that sees the writing on the wall
WarHorseThor: doc, dont you know about the meds program?
Doc Whew: selenium for emotional disturbances?
WarHorseThor: he is not a doctor
Doc Whew: <--- crossing himself
Doc Whew: where do people get this stuff
Doc Whew: they read somewhere anywhere
WildCIAagent: Doc, you worry too much.
Doc Whew: people dont read
Doc Whew: they watch ren and stimpy
Doc Whew: and sponge bob
Doc Whew: and consider themselves to be rational discerning
members of society


Hillary Cheers Up An Old Crank:

Doc Whew: why does everyone think john kennedy and bobby
kennedy were so great
Doc Whew: didnt john get us into vietnam
BinxB91: Doc, lighten the fuck up
Summers Eve L: Is Doc drunk?
Fleurdelochi: actually, i think it was the french that got us
into vietnam
Gypsyjo47: Fleur in a convoluted way, you are correct
MsVictoriaLynn1: We agreed to stay out of their business in
Algeria if they could dump there indochgina mess in our lap and
walk away
Gypsyjo47: It was the French that got us into Vietnam
Is She Weird 55: I LOVE FRENCH PEOPLE
Is She Weird 55: i love french dressing
Is She Weird 55: french fries
Doc Whew: didnt the french get us into new orleans
Is She Weird 55: french kissing
WarHorseThor: french pedicures
Is She Weird 55: frenches brand mustard
Doc Whew: frenchy from grease?
Is She Weird 55: yeah she's cool
Doc Whew: are the coneheads really french
Is She Weird 55: i do not like french poodles


I'm in the Book:
Duwamish Head: i have 1st editions of 'maus' signed by the
author where he put in these dialogue baloons saying 'Hi Mark'
...that's my name. Mark


An Evil Soul ... or Sore?:
ThePaIeRlDER: creepy the christians maybe would pray for you
Creepy Loner: I doubt it, RIDER. Last night, one of them told me,
"...you have an evil soul. I knew it the moment you came in here."
Creepy Loner: I don't have many friends there.


An Order of Fries:

Beysshoes: put the bottle down please james.
WarHorseThor: quit giving orders
WarHorseThor: that never turns out well
Beysshoes: orders don't end with please
WildCIAagent: Thor, you are James?
WarHorseThor: yes wild


Dark is Light:

Darkcurlygrl: HI I'M BACK
Darkcurlygrl: sorry
WildCIAagent: Ok
Darkcurlygrl: hello every1
MsVictoriaLynn1: wb Dark
Beysshoes: curly moe
Beysshoes: jo
Lilly Carden: Hello, Dark.
SpecialGlRL13057: hi dark
Darkcurlygrl: Natalie, my brave lil natalia
NatalieBelieveMe: :D
Fleurdelochi: >scrunches up next to creepy<
BinxB91: Curly, have you ever been subtle?
WarHorseThor: dark, gavario parrusky?
NatalieBelieveMe: Brave little toaster.
Doc Whew: nice imagery
Doc Whew: not a cliche neither


On Journalism Careers:
Dickenzian: I can get you in to an internship covering crappy
stories for experience
Lilly Carden: Dicken... I once took a job (gag) in the accounting
dept. of a paper just to get my foot in the door.



"you are away with the fairies, honestly":

PatientOnion3: is your rich husband having an affair with Beys?
Beysshoes: onion talkin' about marrying money again.
PatientOnion3: beys is a homewrecker
Melodramamama22: onion, you are away with the fairies, honestly
PatientOnion3: just go to the grocery store and pay with one of
your hot smiles
Beysshoes: shut up you punk ass
Melodramamama22: have you been drinking benadryl?
PatientOnion3: if you came into my restaurant I would give you
free lunch & dinner every day
Summers Eve L: Which would = free loose bowels every day.



Yet Another Invented Onion Romance:

PatientOnion3: Evie, your hot texas oil tycoon sugar mama was
concerned for you, that Nora chick
PatientOnion3: she missed you
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i barely know her!
Sleepy Eyed Evie: i've only seen her in here like twice
PatientOnion3: so i gave her your phone number
Beysshoes: onion is so considerate
Sleepy Eyed Evie: I would have to be worried if you even had
my phone number onion
PatientOnion3: the phone number of the restaurant you own
PatientOnion3: i wouldn't give out your private one


And Reality is No Object:

DinosoreVagina: onion the matchmaker
PatientOnion3: evie converted her
Sleepy Eyed Evie: nora is straight and I think married
PatientOnion3: wrong
PatientOnion3: she was married 25 years ago, got 50% of $73.5 million
Sleepy Eyed Evie: and like twice my age
PatientOnion3: and now wants to sugar mama you
Sleepy Eyed Evie: mhmm.
PatientOnion3: ask tammy if you don't believe me


"ew, jesus":
Tammynet: Hello Onion
PatientOnion3: hi tamela
PatientOnion3: that font is giving me a big B*NER
Melodramamama22: ew, jesus
Melodramamama22: {scrubs eyeballs with steel wool}


Role Reversals:

Catpower777: are you the truant officer?
Melodramamama22: lead secretary, which involves bookkeeping,
and i can hardly count?
Catpower777: complete with billy club?
Beysshoes: kit kat we're not talking about yoh sex toys here.
pay attention pls
Sleepy Eyed Evie: do you get to beat the kids?
Catpower777: 'scuse please


We Speak the Same Language?:

Beysshoes: what ever happed to "tilly"? i liked that word.
Beysshoes: tilly boy
Melodramamama22: tilly?
BigKat4388: he died
Catpower777: never heard that
Beysshoes: wow cat you brung yoh relations heah?


Inter-stellar Communications:
Beysshoes: where you going cat?
Catpower777: to the place with the stellar margaritas
Beysshoes: yummo. eat meat cat
Catpower777: Bey, that's private !


Wooing Onion:
Gypsyjo47: Wellllll...jumped in the saddle and headed for the
herd; dragged my lasso through a fresh cow turd, coma ty yi
yippie yippie yea come a ty yi yippie yea...

Who Loves Ya, baby?:
ManiacEyeball: Melo : )
ManiacEyeball: Rest of you hobags ^


Season On the Bink:
PatientOnion3: bey, you are causing binky to drink again
Beysshoes: onion i think bink is cheating on me IRL! the pig!

Just One Look:
ManiacEyeball: Oh Bey, stop seducing me with your strawberry
milkshake pink hue


This IS Real Life:
PatientOnion3: people on aol have real lives?
Melodramamama22: barely
Beysshoes: well, some try it on.
PatientOnion3: i always thought that when people sign off they
go into suspended animation
Beysshoes: sleep in cells like you onion?
PatientOnion3: in bubble wrap cocoons


"you have nothing to worry about":
ManiacEyeball: I'm going to SF tonight.
Sleepy Eyed Evie: maniac you can visit onion
Sleepy Eyed Evie: he will cook you dinner
Melodramamama22: he'll feed you a mole
ManiacEyeball: I'm paranoid Tea-ja gave him my pic.
PatientOnion3: maniac, i am not gay, you have nothing to worry about


Beth Talks:
Bethliebner: foodslut is a man who wears women's clothing
Darkcurlygrl: foodslut is a hottie i like him/her
Beysshoes: hide yoh purse curly


"lesbians" is always good for a laugh:
Darkcurlygrl: i love the lesbian chat rooms
PatientOnion3: i get all my dates there
Darkcurlygrl: LOL patient onion, r u femlae
PatientOnion3: 100%
Beysshoes: he's in transition curly.
Darkcurlygrl: Any transgenders here?
Beysshoes: many
Darkcurlygrl: lol shoes
Beysshoes: twasn't a joke curly

Drug-Induced Greeting:
Is She Weird 55: five dollah hollah
Is She Weird 55: hang on i need some sudafed


Hammer and Nails:
ThePaIeRlDER: good and the bf?
Is She Weird 55: the boyfriend is excellent. he's on a
camping trip right now
WarHorseThor: camping trip=nailing a hot chick
Is She Weird 55: whatever, thor. maybe i'm a camping trip right
now and he's nailing me?


Mispelling:
PatientOnion3: i am lipstick

A Tough Judge:
PatientOnion3: everybody that doesn't have pics online is hideous, duh
PatientOnion3: fat betty
Beysshoes: the polite term is phat. duh


Hillary:

Creepy Loner: Hillary - serious question...I honestly want to know...
Creepy Loner: Have you had sex yet?
Creepy Loner: I won't be a snot; I promise.
Is She Weird 55: creepy, i dont feel like telling the whole chat
room my sex life.
WarHorseThor: =no
BinxB91: C'Loner!! Have you heard of an IM box?
Creepy Loner: That's not your sex-life --- that's just a yes
or no question.
Is She Weird 55: [response deleted]
Creepy Loner: Okay.
WarHorseThor: tramp
SemiLitterate: Just 'cause Creepy promised not to be a snot, there
are 14 other potential snots, as you have noticed
Creepy Loner: [follow-up question deleted]
Is She Weird 55: Whore rhymes with thor


Appreciate the Gesture:

Beysshoes: kneel, james
WarHorseThor: kneeling
Beysshoes: james. kneel is binx's name. but thank you so much


Because Onion Does It for me:
Bethliebner: i never talk about myself


CreepyLoner Works It Out:

Creepy Loner: I need to get into a kind of stupid zen to workout
...some dumb tw*t standing in front of me and gossiping with a
lazy cow next to my machine who isn't really working out at all...
Creepy Loner: Just ruins the whole thing.
Creepy Loner: Yeah.
Creepy Loner: I cough on them.
BinxB91: Your name is LONER.
Try this book --- The Lonliness of a Long Distance Runner
Creepy Loner: I don't want to run long distances.
Creepy Loner: I want to lay in the same approximate spot for days.
Sleepy Eyed Evie: She might prefer The Lonliness of the Creepy
Long Distance Runner

[Taft Robinson was sitting three tables away. I took my
dessert over. He looked up, nodded, then looked down
again and sliced a quivering ribbon of fat off the last
piece of sirloin on his plate.
"That weak-side sweep looked good today," I said. "I
finally got in a good block for you."
"I saw it," he said.
"I wiped out that bastard Smee. He likes to hurt people,
that son of a bitch."
"Which one is he?"
"Middle Linebacker. He's the defensive captain. He
captains the defense."
"I saw the block," Taft said.
"I really wiped him out --- that bastard. Hey, look,
what are doing here anyway?"
"Where --- here?"
"Right," I said. "Here in this particulat locale. This
dude ranch."
"I'm here to play football. Same as you."
"You could be at almost any school in the country.
Why would you want to leave a place like Columbia to
come here? Granted, Columbia's not exactly a football
colussus. But to come here. How the hell did you let
Creed talk you into this place? It's not as though
you're integrating the place. Technically you're
integrating the place but that's only because nobody
else ever wanted to come here. Who the hell would
want to come to a place like this?"
"You came here."
"Hey, Robinson," Kimbrough said.
"I'm here because I'm a chronic ballbreaker. First,
it's not like any other school would have me. Second,
I wanted to disappear."
"But you are here," he said. "We're all here."
"I can't argue with that. How's the milk? Jessup
says the milk is putrid."
"Which one is he?"
"Hey, Robinson," Moody Kimbrough said. "We don't
wear sunglasses indoors here. We don't do that ---
hear?"
"Mind your own business," I said.
I watched him coming toward our table. I thought
briefly about the fact that he outweighed me by forty
pounds or so. Then I got up and hit him in the
stomach. He made a noise, an abrupt burp, and hit
me in roughly the same spot. I sat down and tried
to breathe. When I raised my head finally, Taft
was just finishing his dessert.]


The Shining II:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: At a lodge on Mt Hood
Sleepy Eyed Evie: it might be set in colorado.
Creepy Loner: Yeah, I was pretty sure it was Colorado,
too...but...I'm not sure.
Creepy Loner: Yes, the setting is certainly Colorado.
NatalieBelieveMe: It's set in Colorado.
NatalieBelieveMe: I need to finish that book.
Creepy Loner: Nothing at the moment...
Sleepy Eyed Evie: its up on Mt Hood
Sleepy Eyed Evie: I went there once
Sleepy Eyed Evie: I got my underwear stolen on that trip