WHATEVER

Where'd ya go to college?
Creepy Loner: A little retard-college for people
that had too much fun in high school.

No One Asked Me But ...:
Niontron3: you know what I am doing?
Niontron3: I change my mind about
Niontron3: watching a porno

"Oh, Nags. Honestly":

BinxB91: Someone took a shot at KatieTried today.
He said "is this what BookShelf has degenerated to?"
Ta21l: did you respond...yes, see all the improvements?
BinxB91: I didn't mind him saying that. It just
suggested that the BookShelf was once high-minded
Catpower777: who said that, Binx?
BinxB91: Nagual said that
Catpower777: oh, Nags
Catpower777: honestly
LadyMtnMedic: ha, that would have been my guess
Catpower777: yes, so much more high-minded when he was
here calling people cattle and goat-ropers?



My Two Dads:
WarHorseThor: godwit and I make a great team around
holloween. we dress up like a horse and I am the head
Jam7604801: war i guess that will be the first horse
with 2 asses


The Vagina Dialogues:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: HCS why do you want to look at a vagina when
you pee?
HCSMAUI: I said I have no vagina when I pee, I did not say I
wanted to look at that thing
Sleepy Eyed Evie: HCS you seem repulsed by vaginas
EDruezillaB: Ohhhh let's introduce HC to Emp!
DinosoreVagina: "that thing"
Sleepy Eyed Evie: why is that?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: its ladies afternoon here
HCSMAUI: No, not hardly. I love pussy, not vagina's.
I have no idea what it is like to kiss a vagina
EmpressZ21: ummmmm
Sleepy Eyed Evie: your girlfriends are so lucky
DinosoreVagina: is anyone else tearing up over that romantic line
LadyMtnMedic: Dino which one?
CordialCactus: lol dinov.. i just love you
Iuokhon: what romantic line?
EDruezillaB: Dino, I think angels wept.
EmpressZ21: i know i did
IaintRlGHT: candice i think hc has crossed the couth barrior
CordialCactus: raise your hand if you love vagina!
DinosoreVagina: maybe you have to be a woman luo
HCSMAUI: Yes, I love pussy, clitoris but have never kissed a
vagina to this very day
CordialCactus: ok.. raise your hand if you love DinosoreVagina!
DinosoreVagina: and he wants a "nice woman" sans vagina
Sleepy Eyed Evie: <-- raising hand O:-)
CordialCactus: lol evie.. i just love you too
DinosoreVagina: I raised my hand Cactus but I couldn't type
HCSMAUI: Ignore
CordialCactus: gosh.. isnt this what ladies night is all about
IaintRlGHT: HC you must be a lousy lay then who cARES MORE BOUT
HIS ON SERVICE THEN THE SATISFACTION OF HIS M,ATE
DinosoreVagina: I thought you were over that
CordialCactus: sloppy confessions of love toward your fellow gender!
Boulshevit: Whatever..you vagina's are all the same..
Boulshevit: oh shit!
CordialCactus: snort
CordialCactus: lol bouls
DinosoreVagina: lol
EDruezillaB: Bouls!
LadyMtnMedic: uh... Bouls
Iuokhon: :] Bouls
Boulshevit: Sorry
DinosoreVagina: ok that could be the sign of a problem there bouls


Bound For Glory:
Creepy Loner: I'm the spawn of two technical writers.
Creepy Loner: I was bound to be bitter


"I'm just gonna concentrate on you":
Niontron3: creepy, dino, jam, anais, binx on ignore...


That Squeaky Feeling:

BooksIut: I WISH I HAD A DICK.
Anais3233: did his cock hang in the toilet water?
Fattyarbuckle912: i flung half a palmful of semen at a
unicorn tapestry at the cloisters once on a high school
field trip
BooksIut: I WOULD SO OWN YOU.
Creepy Loner: Slut, you don't own me...I'm not just one
of your many toys...
BooksIut: No, you're not.
Fattyarbuckle912: i didn't know what else to do with it,
i panicked
Ta21l: you don't tell her what to do, you don't tell her
what to say...
Creepy Loner: [frown]
Anais3233: it was busy hitting him in the chin lolol
Creepy Loner: LOL
CordialCactus: lol ta
Ta21l: sorry, got the song in my head now
BooksIut: The one I read The Aenied, book 4 to.
BooksIut: "When pangs the tender breast of Dido tore..."
BooksIut: Smirk.
Prospect26: Have a good time talking about cocks and dicks
and whatever. I find your chat in this room offensive.
Fattyarbuckle912: me too
EDruezillaB: Didn't Fatty just talk about flinging semen?
Ta21l: yes...
Anais3233: yay! we have her permission to talk about genitalia!!
Creepy Loner: w00t.
Creepy Loner: [sneeze]
CordialCactus: Wurd.
Ta21l: bless you
Anais3233: can we also talk about analingus??
Creepy Loner: Sure.
EDruezillaB: Prospect apologized to shelfers for our topic....
Creepy Loner: Ever had, Anais?
Anais3233: of course!
Anais3233: and you?
CordialCactus: aka rim job?
Creepy Loner: Yes, to my astonishment...was unexpected.
Felt a little weird about it.
EDruezillaB: Cactus said rim job!
CordialCactus: lol.. that was weird to type
Creepy Loner: Still do, actually.
Ta21l: lmao
Anais3233: although, i'm always like, uh, there are better
more productive ways to spend your saliva, but whatever
Creepy Loner: Exactly.
Anais3233: i'll give you two minutes before i kick you in the face
Creepy Loner: Well, I felt squeaky clean once it was over.
Creepy Loner: [frown]
CordialCactus: oh gawd squeaky


Right After the Sub-Prime:
WolfWhisperer88: Anyone here worried about a zombie like plague?


Three Jobs One Skill Set:
Solsfam: My daughter has a BFA in theater
Solsfam: She is teaching toddlers in New York, working at
a bar, and taking improv classes


50 bottles and no communication:
Lydiaparn8: My first husband collected hot sauce. We had
over 50 bottles of different hot sauces.



Drop a name:
BooksIut: Para. Have you heard of Ennio Flaiano
DAISYTRAIL: You would think someone might recognize his name,
with him being a "living legend" and all.


In the OC:
VERBQUEEN: I love the grocery store
VERBQUEEN: I go pretty much every day
VERBQUEEN: I guess I just like being around food.


BlueMonk is Back:

Fattyarbuckle912: a few more questions, please
BinxB91: ever considered suicide?
Fattyarbuckle912: as much as the next guy
Fattyarbuckle912: moreso, probably
BinxB91: OMG, Fatty is BlueMonk
BinxB91: what's the worst thing you ever said to one of
your parents?
Fattyarbuckle912: i almost jumped in a raging river during
one bad trip
Fattyarbuckle912: hey, binx
Fattyarbuckle912: always liked the binx
Fattyarbuckle912: i called my mom a son of a bitch once when i
came home drunk in the mid-morning when i was a teenager
BinxB91: Ever met someone who was a virgin past age 30?
Fattyarbuckle912: he had a fairly high tolerance for my shit
Fattyarbuckle912: and asked decent questions
Fattyarbuckle912: musta



Happy:
Various704: well im eating whiskey fudge so im happy.

Low Cost Health Care:
Anais3233: puke sick or sniffle sick?
Anais3233: sherbert isn't bad to barf

And Never Fold a Pair:
Glomawr: hint.....in strip poker wear lots of socks

And Modest:
LeslieHapablap: i do not color/dye/highlight/perm/straighter
my hair because i am naturally beautiful.


[As he struggled to insert himself into the seat beside her,
she dropped a newspaper she'd been reading onto her lap and
watched him, with indifference. She was shatteringly
beautiful and obviously bored.
"Hello", she said, when he'd settled himself. "I'm Aileen."
"It's my pleasure to meet you," he managed, in an unsteady
sweat as if he'd sprinted to get into the car.
"Likewise," she said, without the slightest attempt at
sincerity. She picked up her newspaper again.]



"Hey guess what I have in my hand?":
JFWaterman: 'If your erection lasts longer than 4 hours-
seek medical attention.'- Not before I call all of my
friends!


Cunt as a Cliche:

BooksIut: 1. I want to understand the world and the truth
hurts, to be ever so cliche.
BinxB91: the truth hurts?? you're sure about that?
BooksIut: Binx. I'll tell you like I told Anais the other
night, stop being a dumb c-nt.


{"What's your plan?" Laura asked him as he began
reassembling his pack. "Are you on a long-distance hike?"
She'd pulled Esme onto her lap so he could roll up his
sleeping bag.
"Not really. Just driving around, checking out a few
places I've wanted to see."
"Sounds nice. A vacation?"
"I'm not really working right now." He'd left Pine Hill
without giving notice to his boss on the house-building
crew and without seeing Dorothy --- because, he now
understood, he hadn't yet understood he was leaving.
"Do you live near here?"
"No"
"Sorry," she said after a moment. "I'm not trying to pry."
"You're not." Mark paused in his packing, an unpleasant
thought crossing his mind. "I'm not a fugitive or
something," he assured her. I'm just between houses and
jobs. I'm just sort of wandering, I think."
"I envy you. If you've got the freedom to do it,
that's great."
"It doesn't feel as free as you'd think." He paused before
yanking his pack's straps and yanked them tighter. "Have
you ever heard of the word 'hegira'?"
"That's a record by Joni Mitchell." They both laughed.
"No, I've never known what that word means."
Mark closed his eyes trying to picture the word's full
definition, as he'd read it in Dorothy's library. The
word had recurred to him recently, for no obvious reason.
But he noticed that this often happened: a word he'd
brushed past long ago, ignorant of its meaning, somehow
found its way to him again and then felt uncannily apt
when he learned what it meant. As if the word had returned
to reveal to Mark not just its meaning but a meaning in
his situtation, of which until he'd been unaware.
"Hegira," he told her. "It's from the life of Muhammad,
but it can mean any 'journey or flight from danger, to a
more safe or congenial place.']


Hot and Smart and Transcendent:

CordialCactus: If my life had gone a different way, I may
have had more inclination to read, study and discuss truth
illuminating literature... Ive had small children FOREVER,
it seems, I just like to read for the entertainment value
BooksIut: CC. I don't think the two "lifestyles" have to
be at loggerheads.
BooksIut: I transcended that impossibility.
BooksIut: I am hot and smart.


Sisters:

Anais3233: my sister is coming here in two days
Anais3233: we are going to be naughty
Anais3233: debaucherous
Anais3233: drunk
JFWaterman: My sister comes into town, I have to have bail
money ready-
Anais3233: we don't get in that much trouble
Anais3233: there's a lot of giggling involved
JFWaterman: SHe has warrants outstanding from the last time
she was here-
JFWaterman: She fucked three of my friends in to insensibility
- two were male, one feamle, and two were married-
JFWaterman: -and that was after she wrecked one of their cars-


Getting Kids to Read:

BooksIut: When I have children I am going to force them to
read all my books.
Anais3233: lol goodluck bookslut
BooksIut: I'm going to be their culture dictator.
BooksIut: Oh hell yes.
CordialCactus: let me know how thaqt works for you, blooks
BinxB91: why kids run away
BooksIut: They're going to be half-Chinese so they'll
already be predisposed to genius.
CordialCactus: the best way to get them to read the things
you want them to, is to tell them they cant
CordialCactus: or not yet
BinxB91: People without children have some strange ideas
on parenting
CordialCactus: you arent old enough... they will find a way
Lamumsie: good way to get kids to read books: hide them in
your room
CordialCactus: making note: o, dont hide vibrator in my room...



Easter Chat:

WarHorseThor: I have a question
Ta21l: ask away
WarHorseThor: when christ returned from the dead, where did he go?
WarHorseThor: back to the dead?
Clifford3848: Cleveland
Ta21l: heaven
Ta21l: so, yes
LadyMtnMedic: he appeared outside his tomb, walked with his disciples
WarHorseThor: so, technically, he didnt die for our sins?
WarHorseThor: or did he just die for 12 hours?
LadyMtnMedic: he died, and then ascended
LadyMtnMedic: after he returned from death, he was ascending into heaven
WarHorseThor: so when he made the encore, was he still technically dead?
LadyMtnMedic: yes
WarHorseThor: but alive dead?
Lawlady666: War; The point of the story might have been that
Christ was the one person in history who dies and was resurrected?
So, yes, he "died." Just not in the usual sense of permanency?
WarHorseThor: half dead?
Ta21l: spiritually alive, physically dead
LadyMtnMedic: ghostly dead I suppose
BinxB91: zombie
Ta21l: nah...zombies are physical
LadyMtnMedic: God just made him visible for his final "goodbyes"
I guess
WarHorseThor: so he was like "in your face jews, I have magical
powers, kill me again if you feel lucky, I will just keep coming
back"
Ta21l: yeah, he actually coined the phrase "Go ahead, make my day"


Your Male Nurse:

Fattyarbuckle912: i saw a c-section today
Fattyarbuckle912: didn't even get a boner
Anais3233: i had a c section
Anais3233: it was amazing
Fattyarbuckle912: anais, shut the fuck uop
Anais3233: fuck you


It's Forever:

WarHorseThor: former used car salesman, married in 05,
has a son
Fattyarbuckle912: no such thing as a former used car
salesman


Amazing:
Godwit935: It's amazing to me, how many people ask questions
in here about religion, of the most fundamental nature, and
as if they knew anything about religion.


Suicide:

WolfWhisperer88: Suicide is weak.
WolfWhisperer88: Figure it this way, scientists and doctors are
getting closer to playing god by bringing dead rat hearts back
to life.
Creepy Loner: Thank God I'm not a dead rat.
WolfWhisperer88: There's an organization out there trying to
make a cure to stop aging completely.
LadyMtnMedic: Wolf, that would be Avon
WolfWhisperer88: No lady, they want to stop your body from rotting
on the inside.
Creepy Loner: Huh...well, that's a good thing for your friends
...they can kill themselves and come right back in a matter of
hours...talk to you a bit longer...do it all again...
Creepy Loner: You should be happy, Wolf.


Creeps:
Fattyarbuckle912: people who read grisham on purpose are creeps


More BlueMonk:

BinxB91: A question? Ever get depressed?
Fattyarbuckle912: always
Boulshevit: No, Binx...I found alcohol
Fattyarbuckle912: i should be on something
Phronsie: understandable
BinxB91: How do you get over it?
Fattyarbuckle912: aol chatrooms


Color Blind to Red Flags:

EDruezillaB: I have a friend who has her head buried in the sand.
EDruezillaB: She's seeing a guy for over six months, they're
saying "i love you" and she's never seen where he lives. He
always goes to her place.
EDruezillaB: that's 1
EDruezillaB: Any ideas?
CordialCactus: does she know he is married?
EDruezillaB: in front of her!~
EDruezillaB: Cactus, I said it to her and she's mad.
Treeluva: shes an idiot. Ive been there.
Treeluva: :(
ThePaIeRlDER: oh you loved it tree
EDruezillaB: 3: His mother died recently and she was going
to go to the funeral and just be there for him, sit in the back,
she mentions this to him and he does not want her there.
said she CAN'T come.
ThePaIeRlDER: red flag ed
ThePaIeRlDER: married
EDruezillaB: 2: when his family calls, he tells them
IN FRONT OF HER that he's at work!



The Bouncing Ball:

Sleepy Eyed Evie: Binx I hit the ball against the wall but
not my garage because it has things on it that so that the
ball doesnt bounce right
Boulshevit: Yeah, I know, Evie my last date ended in two
children


Beys and the Real Boy:

Beysshoes: gina my fake bf went to bed already. sigh
DinosoreVagina: well... fake boyfriends are easily replaced beys
Beysshoes: not this one i dunt think gina
DinosoreVagina: beys.. there's a new improved fake boyfriend...
Max 314159265358: fake or virtual?



Being Reckless On-line:

ManiacEyeball: dino have you given your address out online?
DinosoreVagina: yes Maniac
DinosoreVagina: all the time
Anais3233: online?
ManiacEyeball: all the time?
DinosoreVagina: sure..
Anais3233: you aren't scared?
DinosoreVagina: I just go in rooms
DinosoreVagina: and tell it for the hell of it
ManiacEyeball: would you ever give it to me?
ManiacEyeball: i need someone's address
Lamumsie: you know you only gave it to me
DinosoreVagina: I can give you someone's address
ManiacEyeball: it has to be someone who comes here.


Being Careful On-line:
KammaToasted: one time i was really into this chick and i
had talked to her like....8 years online, so i really
really trusted her....so i gave her the fax number of an
office depot 230 miles from my hometown
KammaToasted: sometimes, online romance DOES work out


When the Sex Chat Ends:
DinosoreVagina: I typed a letter like that once legs
DinosoreVagina: it was from the dog
DinosoreVagina: he has no thumbs
DinosoreVagina: so.. no spaces
Lamumsie: i-think-we-should-all-type-this-way
Legs029: i'll-just-sit-here-quitely-and-watch
Ta21l: just-so-you-don't-feel-bad
DinosoreVagina: okIdRatherNotUseSpacesOrDashes
Melodramamama22: i-think-i-will-kill-myself-if-i-type-like-
this-for-two-more-seconds


Julia Ormond:

CordialCactus: binx, im just trying to think of this womans
name.... dark hair... strange yet pleasingly shaped face
CordialCactus: maybe french.. maybe not
CordialCactus: actress
BinxB91: Jacqueline Bisset?
ThePaIeRlDER: that sounded kinda lesbian candice
CordialCactus: name starts with a J, it hink
CordialCactus: rider... you wish
Niontron3: french woman are very horny


Let's Clear This Up:

Prospect26: I have chatted with Lady and Jam for years...
thinking they were two different people. One dumb, one
literate. But both were good e-mail chats.
Jam7604801: pros i'm actually bill clinton
DinosoreVagina: One dumb, one literate.... and this is good
DinosoreVagina: wait.....
DinosoreVagina: if you're bill clinton
DinosoreVagina: and lady is you
DinosoreVagina: does that make....
DinosoreVagina: lady = bill clinton
Anais3233: lol wait, maybe lady is hillary
Anais3233: and jam is bill
DinosoreVagina: oh..
Jam7604801: she's out on the road tonight
BinxB91: "on the road again"
Prospect26: Get Lady Mountain here now, please Jam.
DinosoreVagina: but using the logic of earlier... that
would make hillary bill... and jam lady and lady bill and
hillary jam and bill .. .. uh anais?
Jam7604801: she's not online pros
Prospect26: We need to clear this up.


PatientOnion Fix:

Beysshoes: zen do you have any good obama stories please?
Zenchef2006: nope he's pretty straight and narrow
PatientOnion3: wall street gave uncle tom obama the most
money, bill's wife was number two, the drooling senile POW
was number three


In the First Person?:

Jam7604801: are you a man pros?
Prospect26: Jam...you know I am a woman.
Jam7604801: I'm not sure pros you could be faking
Prospect26: Want to go through the births of my two children,
minute by minute?


Real Men:

Tem o Bedlam: Real Men don't give a rat's ass what anybody
else thinks Real Men are.