I Supported the Iraq War ... sorry.


OK, Now Turn On Your I-Pod:
Is She Weird 55: i am listening to the clueless theme


A Woman in Power:

Feminine Rant: i cant wait to see the return of the clinton
reign
Feminine Rant: but more, i cant wait to see a women in power!!
ParaMyrrh: Feminine, you like no substance and all soap opera?
EDruezillaB: Feminine, is that your agenda?
Feminine Rant: Oh man,i get all giggly when i think about power
ParaMyrrh: Clintons come to mind
EDruezillaB: "A woman in power" doesn't sound like a very good
platform.
IaintRlGHT: ive had several women demonstrate how powerful
they were on me


Learning to Ride:

Condorblue: hada, how long will it take me to learn how to
ride a motorcycle?
Feminine Rant: depends if you crash or not
Feminine Rant: and how bad the injuries are if you do
Hadachoke: Condor .. depends on you. If you crash a lot, it
could take a week
Condorblue: why the hell would I crash?
Beysshoes: back...condor its easier to find a lover with a bike
and just ride with


Condor - Dream Deflater:

Feminine Rant: i love thunder
Feminine Rant: i should have been a god
LadyMtnMedic: God of what?
Condorblue: feminine, a god is a dead person with a good press agent


Sympatheic Advice:

BooksIut: I have an ear infection.
BooksIut: Hurts like hell.
Phezziwig13: type with something else
Harryshaw3178: Book take antobiotics
KammaToasted: i've never had an ear infection
KammaToasted: WHAT DID YOU DO?
Steppsrider: Bookslut are you taking anti-biotics?
Phezziwig13: I got ear infections when I was little
BooksIut: No RX.
BooksIut: Just sort of happened, couple hours ago.
BooksIut: While I was at work.
Harryshaw3178: get an prescription Book. ear infection
nothing to play with
KammaToasted: good girl...prescription drugs are for pussies
Phezziwig13: Yeah, go right out onto the street for your drugs
PatientOnion3: how do you play with an ear infection?
PatientOnion3: with a q-tip?
PatientOnion3: creepy tried it once, and look what happened to her


An Accidental Book?:
KammaToasted: i refuse to read steve king since the accident


Leslie Leaving Us Hanging:

LeslieHapablap: a single father who gets a call that is 14-year
old daughter has been at a party giving blow jobs to all sorts
of boys.
LeslieHapablap: he rushes to the party.
LeslieHapablap: his daughter is not there.
Catpower777: Leslie, I read that
LeslieHapablap: he beats a boy with a shovel.
LeslieHapablap: that is all the further i am.
Kamperkenii: light reading I see, leslie


Hillary Lennon:
Is She Weird 55: IMAGINE THERE'S NO HEATH LEDGER....
IT'S NOT EASY IF YOU TRY

Imagine There's No Gaps:
Phezziwig13: I IMAGINE THE CONDI RICE BOBBLE HEAD WOULD LOOK
CREEPILY LIFE-LIKE


Try a Clapper?:
Phezziwig13: I currently don't have a girlfriend, kinda like
not being able to find your keys

Tourists?
Eves259apple: Who dies in a New York min?

Not Really a Slut:
BooksIut: Five hundred dollars and I've got all of my books
for this semester.


Alone on a Saturday Night:

Is She Weird 55: i hate the human race
Harryshaw3178: fairly difficult to date outside the human race
Jam7604801: she wants a vulcan boyfriend
Phezziwig13: Don't make the sound of your own wheels make
you crazy


Lie and Tell Her You Went to Target:

Is She Weird 55: i cry when people tell me they go to wal-mart
Rozari: Weird, you must cry a lot.
Lamumsie: have you seen The High Cost of Low Prices, IsShe?
Is She Weird 55: yeah well i'm sensitive to the issue of slave
labor and big box stores
Rozari: I see your point Weird.


Debt Collector's Helper:

CordialCactus: i had a call from a debt collector for a
"jennifer_______" my ex-husbands current wife
CordialCactus: looking for her... or information
Hadachoke: uh oh
CordialCactus: so, i helped him...
CordialCactus: alot


Why Godwit Never Gets Any Tips:
Godwit935: Binx, I would gladly throw coffee on you in a diner.


Sympathy On Demand:

Prospect26: obviously, I would like ti talk about my daughter
and her surgery at the Steadman-Hawkins clinic.
Prospect26: But I know that is boring to all of you.
Harryshaw3178: Prospect is everything alright?
LadyMtnMedic: sorry your daughter is not well Prosp
ThePaIeRlDER: your kid sick prospect?
Prospect26: Harry...she had surgery on Monday. Her ACL was severed.
She is doing well. Thank you for asking.
ThePaIeRlDER: oh my prospect hope she is better soon
LadyMtnMedic: hope she heals fast Pros
Prospect26: Thank you all for your concern.


Jews Don't Like Water:

Godwit935: I can't imagine Lloyd Bridges
was Jewish, with all that swimming he did.
Godwit935: Although Mark Spitz was Jewish, I think.
Godwit935: I just don't picture Jews swimming, I guess.
ThePaIeRlDER: the whole baptismal thing god
ThePaIeRlDER: very messy
Godwit935: I never thought of that, Pale.
Godwit935: I just think, back of my mind, you know, that
Jews don't like to do physical labor, by and large, so why
would they want to swim.
ThePaIeRlDER: um god, they built the pyramids fer christ sake
Godwit935: Pale, but not of their own volition.
Godwit935: Maybe that's when they got tired of it.
ThePaIeRlDER: no but it shows they can do it


Onion, Save Us:

Johnpaperfir: Reading books other than the Bible is decadent
and will make you a homosexual or drug addict
SKlein69: THE REVOLUTION IS HERE. HOWARD STERN LIVE AND
UNCENSORED ONLY ON SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO.
SKlein69: 7 ELEVEN COFFEE-FRESH BREWED-FRESH TASTE
Harryshaw3178: crap we've got Sklein and an evangelist all at once
SKlein69: VOTE OBAMA 08
Harryshaw3178: Onion do something!!


ParaMyrrh, Inspire Us:

LeslieHapablap: paramyrrh, what is distracting you?
ParaMyrrh: Im chillin
LeslieHapablap: paramyrrh, get your hands out of your pants
and start chatting properly.



Condor With a Plan:

Condorblue: teenagers like to seduce the older shelvers and
get us on the predator show
Condorblue: I have thought about setting up the setter uppers
Condorblue: It would be fun, but a little dangerous



Testing Condor's Theory:
Condorblue: in fact, no other female mammal in the world
has a clitoris, which proves my point that the female orgasm
is a myth
CordialCactus: i think i want to test that theory
CordialCactus: often


By Eating Pastry?:

Millervwmllr: just pretend to be Danish, you'll get a
good thrashing by Muslims
CordialCactus: how does one pretend to be danish?


Why Leslie Loves Vanda:

LeslieHapablap: one of the greatest things about vanda52 is
that he treats an IM like an email. signs off on each
message sent. "blah. blah. blah. regards, allan."


Chattin' Like Vanda:

LeslieHapablap: hi, cordialcactus, how are you?
regards, lesliehapablap.
CordialCactus: lol lesliehapablap, i would like to sincerely
thank you for that polite exchange. cordially, cactus
LeslieHapablap: dear harryshaw3178, how is the packing coming
along? wondering, lesliehapablap.
BinxB91: Dear LeslieHapablap, How is your smart husband doing.
Just Curious. Respectfully Submitted, BinxB91
LeslieHapablap: dear binxb91, mr. hapablap is well. thank you
for inquiring. sincerely, lesliehapablap.
CordialCactus: dear lesliehapablap, what is this i hear of
harry packing? is he planning a move? rudely insinuating
myself into the conversation, cactus
CordialCactus: alright.. i cant do that anymore:)
LeslieHapablap: dear cordialcactus, yes, he is moving back to
new orleans. kind regards, lesliehapablap.
LeslieHapablap: dear creepy loner, i miss you.
love always, lesliehapablap.


Check That Truth Because It Is False:

Millervwmllr: did you know Roswell happened in the same year
Bush, Cheney, and Condoleeza were born
Millervwmllr: creepy
BinxB91: Bush and Cheney were not born in the same year
Boulshevit: I'm saving myself for Condoleeza
CordialCactus: :::required shudder:::::
Bethliebner: thats nice Boulshevit
Harryshaw3178: Miller now i'm worried
Millervwmllr: I knew you would be, just spreading the truth
LeslieHapablap: check that truth because it is false.
Millervwmllr: who cares, it sounds fun!



[CHUCKIE: Are they hookin' you up with a job?
WILL: Yeah, sit in a room and do long division
for the next fifty years.
CHUCKIE: Yah, but it's better than this shit.
At least you'd make some nice bank.
WILL: Yeah, be a fuckin' lab rat.
CHUCKIE: It's a way outta here.
WILL: What do I want a way outta here for?
I want to live here the rest of my life. I want
to be your next door neighbor. I want to take
our kids to little league together up Foley Field.
CHUCKIE: Look, you're my best friend, so don't
take this the wrong way, but in 20 years, if you're
livin' next door to me, comin' over watchin' the
fuckin'Patriots' games and still workin'construction,
I'll fuckin' kill you.
And that's not a threat, that's a fact.
I'll fuckin' kill you.
WILL: Chuckie, what are you talkin'...
CHUCKIE: Listen, you got somethin' that none of
us have.
WILL: Why is it always this? I owe it to
myself? What if I don't want to?
CHUCKIE: Fuck you. You owe it to me. Tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty and I'll still
be doin' this. And that's all right 'cause I'm
gonna make a run at it.
But you, you're sittin' on a winning
lottery ticket and you're too much of
a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit
'cause I'd do anything to have what you got!
And so would any of these guys. It'd be a
fuckin' insult to us if you're still here
in twenty years.
WILL: You don't know that.
CHUCKIE: Let me tell you what I do know.
Every day I come by to pick you up, and we
go out drinkin' or whatever and we have a
few laughs. But you know what the best part
of my day is? The ten seconds before I knock
on the door 'cause I let myself think I might
get there, and you'd be gone. I'd knock
on the door and you wouldn't be there.
You just left.

---- A beat ---

CHUCKIE: (cont'd)Now, I don't know much.
But I know that.]


C'Loner's Survey:
Creepy Loner: Males of the room - when pleasuring yourselves
in the shower, do you use soap as lube?
BinxB91: C'Loner, I have
Boulshevit: No, Creepy..it stings
Creepy Loner: So, a yes and a no...
BinxB91: Bouls, don't use Lava soap then
Boulshevit: I mean..nevermind
Creepy Loner: Any others willing to answer?
CordialCactus: creeps... creepy family feud survey?
Creepy Loner: Yeah, sort of.
Millervwmllr: I don't even want to fathom where that came from Creepy
Creepy Loner: Even if you tried, you wouldn't guess.
Boulshevit: Miller, you're 17?
Millervwmllr: yes...
PatientOnion3: what was the question creepy?
BinxB91: That was similar to Niontron who wanted to know if she
should insert his finger into a woman. He said he'd tried but
the woman said it hurt. I think he had spilled hot sauce on
his hands
Boulshevit: And you don't know where Creepy is coming from?
PatientOnion3: i have never done it in the shower
Catpower777: Creepy, you waiting until the expert left the room
to ask that question
PatientOnion3: you only use the shower when you live with your
parents or lots of roommates
Creepy Loner: The expert?
Catpower777: Para
Millervwmllr: I'm a nerd, I handg out with people who eat
Jelly Beans and watch Star Wars, I know where he's coming from,
but it doens't mean I want to go there
Creepy Loner: Oohh...yeah, Para.
Creepy Loner: Hm.
Creepy Loner: Well, you guys answered...thanks.
Creepy Loner: That's all I really wanted.
Boulshevit: lol...I know, I was raise Lutheran too, Miller


Reflecting on Creepy's Shower:

PatientOnion3: creepy is making a shower movie
PatientOnion3: a sexual remake of psycho
BinxB91: I thought Psycho was sexual ...
Catpower777: binx, that's just scary
CordialCactus: phezz.. the plastic on my windows is bulging
Creepy Loner: Binx with the good, but alarming, point.
Phezziwig13: I'M GOING TO GET MY KITE
CordialCactus: binx.. ithought it was too, if that makes
you feel better

Playing Nice:

LadyMtnMedic: actually, I politely made a comment,
and politely answered you
LadyMtnMedic: said my bad, never inferred anything
Beysshoes: lady, just being sarcastic ... i do apologize.
Phezziwig13: And I'm sorry that you two are both sorry
Phezziwig13: We're all sorry
Phezziwig13: If I'm wrong about that, I'm sorry