Zingers/Sauerkraut/Obama Fever/
a Naked Jogger


Nasty Girl:
Ragamuffingirl35: not wearing panties feels so nasty


Another Evening at the Hapablap Household:
LeslieHapablap: i am going to look over my new supplies.

Still the Beaver:
ParaMyrrh: Binx earlier you weren't here I announced
my Candidacy for President in 2012 my platform
Spindly Blinging Legs party-Chicken Leg and Ive locked
up the Poultry farmer money


Ant-Semitism Obscured:

Catpower777: well, I definitely won't go in there now
BinxB91: go in where?
Catpower777: authors' lounge, Binx
PatientOnion3: i only go there when the two hot busty
chicks are in there
Catpower777: only two, Onion
PatientOnion3: well really when one is in there, one of
her sn's is SARAH HATES JEWS!


Dumb Assumptions:

DinosoreVagina: and you didn't impersonate a teen girl getting
mens dirty secrets online?
PatientOnion3: men have dirty secrets?
BD Radical84: I did impersonate as a teen girl, but not to
"get dirty secrets"
DinosoreVagina: you did it to what? get dates?
BD Radical84: no Dino
PatientOnion3: to get cookies?
PatientOnion3: bras?
BD Radical84: no
PatientOnion3: college scholarships?
BD Radical84: no to the cookies, no to bras, no to college
scholarships, no to any other dumb assumption you can think of


Obama Fever:

Beysshoes: binxox...cspan will air WISCONSIN's obama speech
Beysshoes: !!!!!!! harry watch this.
Beysshoes: hillary at midnight, then obama.
Beysshoes: the speech is outrageous!!!'cat cat you mUST
watch this please
Beysshoes: binx, you MUST see the wisconsin speech...he will
win another trifecta!
Beysshoes: it was his strongest thus far binx. i'm so so thrilled.
Catpower777: did you mean that question for Bey?


Godwit and the Beagle:

Godwit935: Anyone see that champion beagle on Charlie Rose the
other night, the dog-show winner?
Beysshoes: yes godwit...it was too cute!
Godwit935: Beys, I thought it was sickening the way Charlie Rose
hugged that dog.
Beysshoes: godwit? you are such a buzzkill.
BinxB91: OMG, Godwit is a crudmudgeon even about a cute beagle!
Godwit935: It makes me sick to see a man hug and dog and sway
it side to side like that, Beys.
CordialCactus: godwit, i missed that, why would you think its
sickening?
Beysshoes: pitifuls binx.
BinxB91: Godwit feels that real men only kick dogs
Godwit935: The beagle was fine, noble dog, but that Charlie Rose,
he has a screw loose, the way he was hugging that dog, like it
was a doll.


Godwit Zinged:

Yossarian4now: a glam midnight of alternating ice and heat
Godwit935: Glam, Yoss, what do you mean, glam?
Yossarian4now: huh?
Godwit935: You said "glam mightnight" Yoss. What are you
talking about?
CordialCactus: short for glamorous? or oh so fun midnight?
Yossarian4now: um its 11 after midnight
CordialCactus: sarcasm?
Yossarian4now: and i got in about 90 min ago
Godwit935: That word, glam, what do you mean by that, Yoss?
Yossarian4now: and am alternating ice and heat on my knee
Yossarian4now: glamorous? exciting? fashionable?
CordialCactus: im just lost
Yossarian4now: are you not familiar with the term?
Godwit935: I was asking you, Yoss.
Yossarian4now: and i answered you
Yossarian4now: lol cc
Creepy Loner: Now you've burst Godwit's bubble, Yoss -
the correct answer is "gay" of course.


Godwit Zinged II:

SarahKate84: i grew up catholic and i was a christian youth
leader for 3 years, before becoming an atheist.
Godwit935: Sarah, were you trained, I asked? Were you educated
in the basics of Catholicism?
SarahKate84: yes
Creepy Loner: Now you've done it, Sarah. By admitting that
you've had some training, you're going to be subjected to
Godwit's "You're Not Really a Catholic and I Can Prove It" test.
Godwit935: Sarah, then answer me this question from the
Catholic catechism: Who is God?
Creepy Loner: See?
Creepy Loner: Told yah.
SarahKate84: god is... blind hope.
Godwit935: Give her a chance, Creepy.
PatientOnion3: where is god? Does god have a P*NIS?
PRobin5478: "my imaginary friend is better than your imaginary friend"
Harryshaw3178: yep here we go, the Godwit Catholic interrogation.
Creepy Loner: I'm giving her more than a chance, Godwit...
I'm giving her a running start.
CordialCactus: lol creeps and godwit
Godwit935: Sarah, okay, you have proved you did not receive
even the most basic Catholic education.
PatientOnion3: does god have myspace?
SarahKate84: haha why am i being quizzed on catholicism?
im an atheist.
PatientOnion3: was the killing of jesus a hate crime?
Harryshaw3178: sarah use the ignore button.
Godwit935: Sarah, you said you were raised and educated in the
Catholic religion.
SarahKate84: i was, yes.
Creepy Loner: Because Godwit hasn't perfected his "You're Not
Really An Athiest and I Can Prove It" test.


My Plan is Shotgun:

Godwit935: Has anyone in here ever euthanized his own pet?
Creepy Loner: Yes, Godwit.
Creepy Loner: I have.
Yossarian4now: godwit, why do you keep asking that
Godwit935: Creepy, how'd you do it?
Creepy Loner: Poison.
Godwit935: Creepy, be specific.
Creepy Loner: That's as specific as I'm willing to get.
Godwit935: Creepy, I need help.
Creepy Loner: Why?
Godwit935: I have to kill my own pet, Creepy. I want to
do a good job of it.
DinosoreVagina: wait, is pet a euphamism for something
here Creepy?
Creepy Loner: No, no,it was a cat. Two of them, actually.
Godwit935: Creepy, you're full of it.
Creepy Loner: [shrug]
Creepy Loner: Find another source for help, Godwit.
Yossarian4now: why is that so unbelievable?
Creepy Loner: [goes back to IM]
Godwit935: Creepy, time is short.
Godwit935: My plan is shotgun. Date: tomorrow.


Bookslut and her Fan:
BooksIut: A recidivist's humour lays insulting and without
key, a soiled attempt at nothingness' toil, a darkly
melding smile turned down and ruptured at the seams.
Niontron3: nice, book..


Leslie and the Fascinating Animal:

LeslieHapablap: earlier today i watched a fascinating
program about otters.
Niontron3: I go to the zoo as many times as I can
LeslieHapablap: were you aware that most sea otters often
carry a large rock with them to use as a tool for breaking
open shell fish?
LeslieHapablap: were you aware that newborn sea otters
coats act as life jackets?
LeslieHapablap: they cannot swim!
LeslieHapablap: yet they are born in the ocean.
Kamperkenii: interesting/surprising, leslie
Tem o Bedlam: That would account for the rise in sea otters
arrested in San Luis Obisbo for attempting to break open ATM's...
DinosoreVagina: Leslie, there is an Otter at the Toledo Zoo,
that socializes
LeslieHapablap: also, the orca has taken to eating otters
because the seal population in alaska is dwindling.
LeslieHapablap: i was very upset to learn that orcas eat meat.
LeslieHapablap: shamu eats meat!


Who's Playing Left?

IM0Kurknot: I'm thinking with 9 people here there is a very
good chance we could all be Supreme Court Justices...
and didn't know it.
BinxB91: a very good chance??
IM0Kurknot: Very, very good chance
BinxB91: which one of us is Scalia?
Hadachoke: i'm an injustice
IM0Kurknot: Where else would 9 people congregate.
BinxB91: On a baseball field
BinxB91: I know who's out in left field
Catpower777: Binx, it's crowded out here


Rono Zinged:

Niontron3: I am planning to give my secret date a cooking
recipe book
Niontron3: as a gift...so that she gets the message
BinxB91: picturing a cookbook bouncing off back of Rono's head
BinxB91: Rono --- piece of advice, buy her a paperback cookbook
DinosoreVagina: better yet, do her a favor and sign her
up for match.com


Rono Zinged II:

IM0Kurknot: People should hire housepainters more often.
Most people haven't a clue how to paint a house.
Niontron3: IMO, it is simple...you just dip the brush and rub
it on the wall a fair amount of time
Niontron3: voila!!
Niontron3: now your wall is blue and white at places
IM0Kurknot: I rest my case.

Rono Rules:
Niontron3: cc, except for you everyone else is "idiots"
CordialCactus: sorry guys, you just didnt make the cut


Rono's Shelf History:

Niontron3: tracebert is hot and more interestingly she is nasty
Niontron3: she talks sex all day night
Kamperkenii: I've met a number of 'shelvers from ten years ago
Kamperkenii: met 'em at a West Coast meet
DinosoreVagina: all west coasters, right keni?
Kamperkenii: yes, all West Coasters, and one East Coaster
DinosoreVagina: no one that comes in now, right keni?
Tem o Bedlam: "Gimme Shelfer..."
CordialCactus: helter shelver
Niontron3: deb left the room after she gave birth
Niontron3: deb was a good person...
BinxB91: she gave birth while in the room???


Hada Counts!:

Kamperkenii: there really doesn't seem to be anyone from the
west coast other than a couple of flightly girls
DinosoreVagina: hada's from the west coast
Kamperkenii: but hada doesn't count


Rono's List:

Niontron3: AforeAllie also a very good person
Niontron3: faranna also a good person
Niontron3: rest of you and everyone else, NO GOOD
Niontron3: blt also a good person
Niontron3: vanda is ok
DinosoreVagina: see when he gives a stamp of approval,
it makes me question the people


What's your Malady?:
BIDET LIVES: i'm eating my own kraut right now


Oh, You Were Serious?:
BIDET LIVES: anyone here ever made saurkraut?
Gypsyjo47: Bidet I have...it is a hellacious lot of work,
but I confess the kraut is good


MEMMMORIES:
BIDET LIVES: kgbirdpaul, do you still have the chess
king sweater in your profile pictures?

Memorable Memories:
CordialCactus: funny... my most memorable memories
are the ones im not supposed to be able to remember


What Did the Cows Eat?:

Kgbirdpaul: cordial sometimes milk tastes like mint when
the cows graze on mint
Kgbirdpaul: the cow's pasture affects the milk taste
DinosoreVagina: Kg - that logic will make me give up milk
DinosoreVagina: now I'll be wondering what the hell they ate


... and Your Name Isn't Jones?:
Tallthinjones: i'm pretty fat

Rono's Agricultural Lesson:
Niontron3: cows grind their food hours later they eat i t
Kgbirdpaul: I do that too

Do the Right Thing:
Tallthinjones: i had a retarded squirrel in my neighbor hood
with a john tuturrow face


Snooty Comments Class:

Kgbirdpaul: I was at a wine class tonight and I'm still woozy
Kgbirdpaul: tasted 15 wines
Kgbirdpaul: it became a blur
StarlightStorms: mmmmm...lucky you, Kg
CordialCactus: Kg.... are you learning to make wine.. to
buy wine .. or something else altogether?
Kgbirdpaul: cordial buy and taste and make snooty comments
Kgbirdpaul: buttery! silky! oaky! cinnamon!
CordialCactus: no offense.. but really... that doesnt sound like
my idea of cheesecake and cherry pie
CordialCactus: lol kg
CordialCactus: cool
Kgbirdpaul: leathery, musty yeasty
Kgbirdpaul: they were all wines from spain, we looked at a map
CordialCactus: kg... that actually sounds like a fun time..
i would love to be able to shoot the snooty comment regarding
wine, here and there


What's Worse Than Crack:

Gypsyjo47: I have seen crack destroy lives...that stuff is terrible!
When a person gets the yearning they cannot think of anything else.
Kamperkenii: an ex gf of mine got hooked on crack
Kamperkenii: she blames me. says it was the cheese jokes that
drove her to it
DinosoreVagina: keni, is that a warning?
Hadachoke: not as bad as meth, gyp
Hadachoke: seen lotsa lives ruined by meth
Gypsyjo47: Hada meth also does that


There Will Be No Bad-Mouthing Marriage:

Ta21l: hey now...I'm getting married...and there will be no
bad mouthing marriage....
Greg12311988: my bad Ta but it seems pointless these days
CordialCactus: greg... i like being married
BinxB91: I feel happy seeing couples together
CordialCactus: i liked being single too
Ta21l: pointless, yes, but, I'm still going to do it...
I waited for it long enough...lol
Hadachoke: Greg, you know the definition of bachelor?
BinxB91: as long as they aren't fighting
Greg12311988: i get tired of a girl after a few months i
couldn't imagine staying with one forever
Greg12311988: what Had?
Hadachoke: a man who never made the same mistake once
CordialCactus: lol.. nice hada
Greg12311988: lol
Greg12311988: thats me
Greg12311988: i think my generation knows better
Greg12311988: alot of us anyway
BinxB91: oh pshaw
CordialCactus: i second that pshaw
Hadachoke: my generation is mostly dead....
Greg12311988: lol
BinxB91: lol
CordialCactus: lol hada... lol... aw
Hadachoke: i'm elderly

[People like it when you tell them things, in suitable
portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think
they know you, but they do not, they know about
you, for what they are let in on are facts, not feelings,
not what your opinion is about anything at all, not how
what has happened to you and how all the decisions you
have made have turned into who you are. What they do
is fill in with their own feelings and opinions and
assumptions, and they compose a new life which has
precious little to do with yours, and that lets you off
the hook. No-one can touch you unless you yourself
want them to. You only have to be polite and smile and
keep paranoid thoughts at bay, because they will talk
about you no matter how much you squirm, it is
inevitable, and you would do the same thing yourself.]

Dis'ing Kentucky:
Greg12311988: how weird is a state named after grass
and whose abbreviation is a sex aid


Always Humor Binx:

Gypsyjo47: Trivia: Anybody know what Hong Kong means?
Kamperkenii: Wikipedia it, gypyso
BinxB91: Hong Kong is King Kong's sister?
Kamperkenii: yes, Binx
Kamperkenii: (remember to always humor Binx)
Gypsyjo47: Hong Kong means "fragrant harbor", comes from
the time of the spice trades when ships laden with spices
anchored there

Fork on Crack?:

Serrated End: hey dino knock knock!?
DinosoreVagina: who's there?
Serrated End: me i kill you hehehehehehhehe
Catpower777: Serrated sounds like Fork on crack


Just His Face ... Really:
CordialCactus: i saw a naked jogger on the frontage road
of a busy interstate.... lol.. i had to slow down to look
closely at his face... to make sure he wasnt running from
something


Water for Elephants:
Hadachoke: joke: Elephant and nekkid man walking towards
each other down a road.... Elephant says
"How do you DRINK through that little thing?"