Post Super Tuesday Blues


Chesire Cat 2008-version:
CordialCactus: romney still gives me the heebies


Remember This Guy?:

GeorgeWBush002: any weapons of mass destruction in here?
Catpower777: still looking for them, Mr. Prez?
GeorgeWBush002: searching for them is hard work! heh


A Warhol Fan or an NFL Mom:
Eyez Wide Open 9: why is campbells soup in your profile?


Aubrey's Bio:

AubreysSuprise: Cordial. 57. Chiropractor, before that
taught English in College. divorced 15 years.
Funny...at times.
CordialCactus: cool.... glad to meet you
AubreysSuprise: and good pull...on your part
AubreysSuprise: how did you get the single or married a long time?
AubreysSuprise: what gave that away?
CordialCactus: earlier you said.. girlfriend.. havent had one of
those in a long time


The Poke's on You:

AubreysSuprise: Bey...I fence epee....once does an
Elizabethan bow....so as not to poke...anyone inadvertently
Beysshoes: aubrey, we dunt mind poking in here hunnyman


Not My People:
Greatteepo4615: Jocks are jocks, no matter how awesome the sport is
Greatteepo4615: Nothing against Jocks, their just not my people


Writin' Country Music:
CordialCactus: i was a shinkicking, worm diggin, tree climbing,
bmx bike ridin, tomboy who truly could make boys cry whilst
playing dodgeball



Political Junkies:
Beysshoes: do you think richardson will endorse hillary?
AubreysSuprise: Richardson has 8 people behind him..does
it matter who he endorses?


Man Crushes:

AubreysSuprise: ---has a man-crush on Norah Jones
Sleepy Eyed Evie: whats a man crush?
AubreysSuprise: its when a guy over 40 has a crush on a younger woman
AubreysSuprise: Norah is like....younger
Sleepy Eyed Evie: dont all guys over 40 have crushes on younger women?
AubreysSuprise: no
AubreysSuprise: urban myth
Creepy Loner: Gay men are exceptions, Evie...
Creepy Loner: [smirk]
Catpower777: I don't know Creepy
Catpower777: I had a gay male friend who used to hit on me when
he was drunk


Profiles in Collage:

Nobby sez: Im lonely look at my pics in my profile and IM me
Various704: im lonely too. look at my paypal account and wire me money!

Chadcin: I think im fat! Look in my profile at my pic and tell me

Glasgoweast2: everyone look at my profile
Beysshoes: can you offer some incentive glas?

Novo195: My new pics are in my profile
Beysshoes: novo we charge to do research like that.


Ass Potential:

CordialCactus: does anyone know TRBs real full name?
Nomdujourxx: TRBin NC
Beysshoes: candice fedya is a smart man...he'd never tell us in here.
Phezziwig13: Ted was almost as big an ass as JF
JFWaterman: Aww, poor Ted- never reached his ass potential.


Candice Carried Away:

Runnit668: so does this mean you get a cut cc?
CordialCactus: runnit.. i think it means that you get a cut,
not sure how this pimpin thing works really.. but i do know
that you work for me now, bitch
CordialCactus: omg.. delete delete



Convert You Convo:

Greatteepo4615: I choose a color at random each time
Beysshoes: piepo ya gotta upgrade yoh convo from fontness now okay?


Don't Get Mad:
Beysshoes: godwit please accept my regrets(about your man edwards)
Godwit935: Oh okay, Beys. It doesn't surprise me, Beys, what with
Americans equating anger with mental illness these days.


Unseemly Americans:
Godwit935: American workers have become so sheepish that
they think it's unseemly to be mad.



Who Is Retarded:

ThePaIeRlDER: jam,they used retarded ladies to set off bombs
Phezziwig13: Pale, are you suggesting that the surge is not
working as much as the fact that they may have run out
of retards?
ThePaIeRlDER: well granted a suicide bomber is hardly
an einstien to begin with
ThePaIeRlDER: youd think the guys that strap the bombs on them
would want vigins too
ThePaIeRlDER: maybe they are gay
ThePaIeRlDER: the way they treat women, im bettin they are all
closet homos
Beysshoes: that raises a good Q pale...how DO they provide
incentive for gay men in the insurgents?
ThePaIeRlDER: full grown men walkin around in togas
ThePaIeRlDER: it aint natural


Beysshoes Loves Foreign Languages:

BooksIut: 1234567890-==``][poiuyqwertyuiopasdfghjkl;
Beysshoes: cool bookslut. can i pay you to speak in
that font forever please?
BooksIut: 12334567890-=][poiuytrewqasdfghhjjkkl;;
'/.,mnbvcxz
Beysshoes: i love you this way bslut. seriously.
BooksIut: /.,mnbvcxz';lkjhgfdsaqwertyuiop[]=


LadyMtnMedic Consult:

Catpower777: Lady
LadyMtnMedic: yes Cat?
Catpower777: does codeine cause drowsiness?
LadyMtnMedic: yes, and it can cause you to be "happy"
Catpower777: well, I guess that's why I'm about to fall
out of my chair
Catpower777: night y'all


LadyMtnMedic Counseling:

LadyMtnMedic: you okay tonight Beys? you don't seem yourself
Beysshoes: ... i dunt lady?
Beysshoes: ty for telling me lady
LadyMtnMedic: exactly my point


Push Back From the Screen:
ManiacEyeball: this is claustrophobic.

We Were Pretending You Never Came:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: Pretend I never left


Reunion:
CordialCactus: sex is great and beer is mighty we're the
class of nineteen ninety
JFWaterman: No chance for heaven, class of nineteen eighty-seven . . .



Pie Chat:
Greatteepo4615: I'd rather talk about pie
Beysshoes: okay piepo...whats your fave pie please?
Greatteepo4615: Oh boy
Greatteepo4615: I love them all so much
Greatteepo4615: If I had to choose, maybe cherry pie
Beysshoes: how about black forest cherry cake piepo???
Beysshoes: can we talk cake?
Greatteepo4615: Bring me pie, Beys


A Day At the Races:

Phezziwig13: I think caucasians are the largest minority
Phezziwig13: throw a white pride parade. See what happens
JFWaterman: Why the Hell would I want to do that. Phezz?
The US is not strong because it has races, it's strong
because it does not.


People Not On the NRA Mailing List:

Phezziwig13: If you find yourself needing to use a handgun
with any regularity, reassess your life
Godwit935: Phezzi, it's fun to shoot handguns.
Have you ever tried it?
Phezziwig13: yeah, you get a gun, buy bullets, and also targets
shaped like people
Phezziwig13: Never saw a target shaped like a deer


Oh Yes, Bot ...:

LadyMtnMedic: hello Bama Party Chick
Beysshoes: lady aren't you taking manners a step too
far greeting bots now?
BamaPartyChick69: Im lonely look at my pics in my profile and IM me
LadyMtnMedic: bummer
Runnit668: lady i'm afraid that talking to those sorts
of people will sully your reputation
LadyMtnMedic: unhello to you Bama


Hangover:

Phezziwig13: A FEW MONTHS BACK, I TRIED A NEW ONE, "FECKIN WHISKEY"
Phezziwig13: MAN DID THAT GIVE ME A HANGOVER
CordialCactus: eegads... i fear hangovers
Phezziwig13: DRIED MY BRAIN UP LIKE STYROFOAM

Best Excuse:
LadyMtnMedic: the dog stood on the keyboard

Who Knew?
Is She Weird 55: yes, i am a puerto rican girl

Accident Waiting to Happen:
Yossarian270: i lose little shit all the time
Yossarian270: how can i have like.... a dozen lighters
and not find one


Eww:
LeslieHapablap: last night godwit935 made a pass at me.
LeslieHapablap: godwit935 wanted to lick my body and cover
me in postage stamps.


Kissing To Be Clever:

EDruezillaB: Why do men think kissing doesn't matter?
Harryshaw3178: Ed I beg to differ. love kissing.
EDruezillaB: Kissing MATTERS!
BinxB91: I love kissing
Treeluva: kissing is most important
Treeluva: if the kisses arent compatable....
it just isnt going to work
EDruezillaB: HERE HERE
Harryshaw3178: true
Max 314159265358: I enjoy a penis
BinxB91: So many different ways to kiss
EDruezillaB: I like nibbles with kisses
Treeluva: you can work on the sex
BinxB91: the first kiss is overrated --- though it's exciting
Treeluva: the first kiss is usually not the best
KammaToasted: personally, i withold judgement until
the first blowjob
Ta21l: it's not overrated...it's the make/break of all time Binx
EDruezillaB: Yeah, but it's the most special.
BinxB91: first kiss is awkward
BinxB91: but it's exciting just have mouths meet
Ta21l: it's like a first impression....if you don't like it,
you probably won't go back
Treeluva: that is why the second kiss should follow the
first kiss immediately.
KammaToasted: you could call that the first kiss, i suppose
Treeluva: and the third. That way, you can actually get a
sense of how the kissing will go
EDruezillaB: Yeah, you can forgive the first kiss. I mean,
what if you accidentally tap teeth or something ;(
Creepy Loner: [snorts]...lovely, Kamma.
KammaToasted:
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
BinxB91: tap teeth?? hopes laughter follows
Creepy Loner: Well, that was fast.
Treeluva: i think the first kiss is more about HOW it happens,
rather than the actual happening itself
EDruezillaB: But that's why it's so imporant to use HANDS in the hair
KammaToasted: loner...did you call me lovely?
EDruezillaB: that melts girls.
KammaToasted: DID YOU?
Creepy Loner: Yes.
Ta21l: I'm with you on that one ED
BinxB91: hands in the hair?
EDruezillaB: Oh yessssssss
KammaToasted: well, gosh
KammaToasted: thanks
Treeluva: i love when a guy puts his hands in my hair
BinxB91: < ---- taking notes
EDruezillaB: sliding up your neck
Ta21l: along the sides of you face, slowly working their
way into your hair....
Creepy Loner: Sure; not a problem.
EDruezillaB: caressing up inside your hair
Treeluva: its like... the are consuming your essence.
BinxB91: Tree IS a woman after all
Treeluva: and THAT is sexy.
EDruezillaB: TOLDJA!
KammaToasted: hi, tree
EDruezillaB: Oh yes Tree.
Creepy Loner: Binx...don't take this seriously at all...
hands on the lower back...but LIGHTLY.
Treeluva: of course I am a woman.
Creepy Loner: Mmm...
Creepy Loner: [groan]


[He kept putting duck in his mouth. She was talking and not
eating. He was eating all the good meaty bits and leaving
the bony parts for her. This made her quiet, and she felt
sad suddenly that she loved a man who took the good bits
for himself. She had been taught to give the good bits to
the other person and that the other person would give her
the good bits, and in this way, they would take care of each
other. She watched the duck disappearing into his mouth.
She refused to scrabble around in the dish for the last
good bits.]


Political Junkies II:

Bethliebner: well its really only obama and hilary on the
democratic side that matter
Ragamuffingirl35: yeah but it's so close they're not sure
which of them is going to get the nomination
Bethliebner: unless of course gravel gets alot of votes tommorow
Ragamuffingirl35: i think most people don't even know
he's still in it
Ragamuffingirl35: vanda thinks it's going to go to the convention
and they'll draft him
Ragamuffingirl35: vanda or gravel?


Condemned to Spinsterhood:

Godwit935: Creepy, I could never date a woman who talks like that.
Creepy Loner: What if she just types like that?
DinosoreVagina: but you'd marry her?
Godwit935: Same thing, Creepy.
Creepy Loner: [rolls eyes]
DinosoreVagina: straight to the commitment then
Creepy Loner: Yep...seems like love.
DinosoreVagina: all or nothing, how romantic
Godwit935: You'll never get a good man, talking like that, Creepy.
Creepy Loner: Let's do it, Godwit...but, let's do it in Vegas.
I want to have sex with Bookslut before we tie the knot.
DinosoreVagina: wait, define good man?
DinosoreVagina: we need... specifics
Godwit935: Creepy, there's no marriage in the cards for women
like that.
Creepy Loner: Yeah, he's right...once you say "loose poops"
you're doomed to be a spinster.
CordialCactus: Good Man, as defined by godwit
Creepy Loner: I'm proof.
Godwit935: Just trying to school 'em, Jam.
DinosoreVagina: I guess Nurses are doomed then Creepy.
Creepy Loner: Indeed, Dino.
Jam7604801: refine them you mean wit
DinosoreVagina: and doctors
DinosoreVagina: well the female ones
CordialCactus: oh.. valid point... nurses.. what if your
profession calls for such talk
Godwit935: Right, Jam.
DinosoreVagina: we're being schooled...
DinosoreVagina: just not in an medical language
Godwit935: That was not medical language, Dino, that was
vulgar language.
CordialCactus: children dont know what loose bowel movements mean
Jam7604801: Wit I think Green women are a thing of the past
Creepy Loner: Fine - loose stool.
Godwit935: Sigh.
Godwit935: No wonder Ohio went for W.
Creepy Loner: Yep...Ohio went for Dubya 'cause I say "loose poops."



Godwit's Tender Side:

Godwit935: You're okay, Creepy. You know, half the time,
I just kid people.
Creepy Loner: [chin / floor] GODWIT KIND OF APPROVED OF ME!
Creepy Loner: HOLY SH*T!
CordialCactus: that was a moment
Godwit935: Creepy, all those old fogies get you thinkin'
and sechlike.
Creepy Loner: I...I need a sash, or something!
Creepy Loner: I am stunned!
CordialCactus: she called for her sash?
DinosoreVagina: we should note this, so you don't forget tommorrow
Creepy Loner: I want to get dressed up in my robes of victory!
Purple! I need a triumph
Jam7604801: I can see Creepys new Bumper Sticker now
"I landed a Godwit!"


Dumb Joke:
ManiacEyeball: im cold.
ManiacEyeball: somebody make me hot chocolate.
DinosoreVagina: *poof* you're hot chocolate


Mr Sunshine:
Godwit935: Remember man, that thou are dust...
Godwit935: art
Godwit935: No one knows the rest of the quote?
DinosoreVagina: and unto dust you shall return
Godwit935: Right on, Dino.


Everybody Loves Godwit???:

CordialCactus: im wondering.... what does...
hmm dare i ask.. what does godwit think of me
Creepy Loner: Aww...come on.
Creepy Loner: Praise me more, baby.
CordialCactus: and dinov
Creepy Loner: I love you.
DinosoreVagina: lol cactus
DinosoreVagina: uh
Creepy Loner: I promise I won' hit'chu no mo.
Godwit935: Cordial, I have no idea about you.
Jam7604801: Wit you give a inch they pave a mile
CordialCactus: lol
DinosoreVagina: we want to know?
CordialCactus: oh.. undecided
DinosoreVagina: that's good
Godwit935: The only person in here I have any idea about is Jam.
Creepy Loner: And what's your idea about Jam?
Creepy Loner: [looking at Jam thoughtfully]
DinosoreVagina: yes, how does Jam rate?
CordialCactus: months and months of trivial and superficial
drivel, and you have no idea!
CordialCactus:


Hillary vs a Tree Stump?:

Godwit935: Yo, Gypsy! Who are you pulling for, McCain?
Gypsyjo47: Godwit I will vote for a tree stump over Hillary
Creepy Loner: Is a tree stump running?
Godwit935: Gypsy, so you are for Obama?
Gypsyjo47: Godwit I wouldn't vote for Obama eithe
Godwit935: Gypsy, well, don't you think the Democratic
nominee will be the next president? I do.
Gypsyjo47: Godwit, possibly, but I won't vote for anybody
who hoists the white flag of surrender and that is the Demo
position





Godwit Loves CreepyLoner Redux:

Creepy Loner: Get back to how much you love me, Godwit -
that's far more interesting.
Godwit935: Jam is a normal American man, that is my idea of him.
Creepy Loner: [preening]
DinosoreVagina: Jam, are you normal?
DinosoreVagina: and you will probably get that choice
CordialCactus: creeps... i know it doesn't count as much as
a godwit endorsement.. but i.. i love you
CordialCactus:
CordialCactus: almost
Jam7604801: Well i would think i'm above average
Creepy Loner: Well, I know that you love me...that's
not the same. You've been one of my b*tches since I first
slithered in here...
Jam7604801: i do grow my own food
Creepy Loner: But Godwit! That's a coup!
Godwit935: Jam, a normal American man is above average.
CordialCactus: i know it... im jealous
DinosoreVagina: hmm
Creepy Loner: Does he think that you're kinda sorta okay sometimes, Cord?
Creepy Loner: No!
Creepy Loner: HE ONLY THINKS THAT ABOUT ME.
DinosoreVagina: no Creepy, he witheld cactus approval
DinosoreVagina: well, you and Jam Creepy
Godwit935: Everyone is beautiful in his own way, okay?
CordialCactus: not good enough
DinosoreVagina: he's waxing poetic
DinosoreVagina: this can't be good
Creepy Loner: I'm just a little more beautiful in my own way.
DinosoreVagina: Godwit, don't go to the light.
Creepy Loner: [batting lashes]
CordialCactus: that was a soda commercial in the 70s.. wasn't it


Special Ed Success:

ThePaIeRlDER: Well the Love Shack is a little old place Where
we can get togetherLove Shack bay-bee, the love Shack baby
Various704: rider has lost it.
CordialCactus: various.. but check out that accurate spelling!
CordialCactus: im impressed


Whose Your Daughter?:

Various704: mumsie. i dont have a daughter. where did
you get that from?
Lamumsie: lol I am tired
Lamumsie: sorry
Various704: ah. i was worried there
ThePaIeRlDER: i got 5 ill loan ya a couple
Lamumsie: 5 daughters?
ThePaIeRlDER: yup
Lamumsie: wowieeeeeeeee
Various704: explains a lot , rider.
ThePaIeRlDER: 14 15 18 22 24
Various704: jesus
Various704: killed anybody yet?


Pissing Off Author's Lounge:

Various704: aha. i went into the AL once and told them i had
writtn several screenplays and a movie. i said they may have
heard of me. my name was : Mitty. Walter Mitty. :)
Various704: they didnt like that



Missing Forbes:
Nomdujourxx: I saw a good one today: McCain/Forbes
CordialCactus: forbes is the guy you turned down for the prom
... then regretted it whilst driving your pinto


Sleepless In Sheboygan:
StarlightStorms: Hey CC, everyone
CordialCactus: i think of you whenever i cant sleep.. lol
that sounds wrong.. but you know what i mean


Honoring Moms:
JonnyDuffy: Taking a break from dreaming up some pitches to
my magazine editor buddy
CordialCactus: im taking a break from wiping noses and butts, jonny
JonnyDuffy: I'm sure that is rewarding work as well



Dumb Joke II:

LYNCHSdl: anyone know what the doctor said to the nurse after he
washed his hands
CordialCactus: no
CordialCactus: what?
LYNCHSdl: go ahead touch me I am sterial
LYNCHSdl: >:o
CordialCactus: i dont get it
CordialCactus: heh
StarlightStorms: I do. lol
CordialCactus: was it funny?


Skipping the Meth:

AczeWolf: I'd use drugs to rot my teeth, lose dangerous
amounts of weight, get locked up, lose my job, get
addicted, break up my family, overdose, become a thief,
break my families heart. Noooo, a hammer's better
Creepy Loner: God...I think I've hit about 2/3rds of the
things that you listed without being a drug addict.


Them Lying Poets:

Godwit935: I wonder sometimes whether NPR screens the
people it features. I mean this Studio360 had on a report
this morning that was full of lies.
BinxB91: Lies?
Harryshaw3178: what sort of lies, godwit?
Godwit935: Binx, it was a report from an alleged couple,
the husband a writer, the wife a poet. It was obviously
full of lies. I doubt they were married at all.
BinxB91: why would they lie about being married?
Harryshaw3178: why obviously a lie, godwit?
Godwit935: Harry, because the writer was professing a
misunderstanding of poetry, and vice-versa. It was childish.
Obviously untrue, in toto
Various704: godwit likes to fill in the gap with fantasy.
i just realised that tonigh
Max 314159265358: the husband have a beard?
Various704: im often poetically misunderstood
Max 314159265358: was it like the Squid and the Whale?
Godwit935: Binx, you could go to Studio360 on the web and
listen to the whole thing. It was presented as a factual report,
but was a fanstasy, a lie.
Nomdujourxx: I avoid poets and poetry, much too open to
interpretation


Godwit Taking on the Scottish:

Godwit935: Let's face it, if Scotland were full of the
warriors it prides itself on, it would not be part of
Great Britain.
Various704: no, we'll always be part of britain cause we're
on this island
Various704: we got outnumbered 10-1
Various704: for a 1000 years
Various704: we were only occupied for 6 years that whole time
Various704: by oliver cromwell
Various704: foolish man
Godwit935: Various, okay, fine, no warrior you.
Godwit935: Various, I don't mind your status, but the warrior
talk, when you are as you are, well, come on.
Various704: warrior talk? where does that come from?
Various704: i dont talk like that


Pick-Up Lines?:
LeslieHapablap: i am receiving IMs from random people.
LeslieHapablap: are you?
CordialCactus: leslie.. yes
CordialCactus: to partake of loungette frolicsome fun


"One Adam 12":
CordialCactus: argh.. possible crib breakout by toddler
.. brb must investigate


The Incredible Leslie Hapablap:

LeslieHapablap: i miss godwit935 already.
LeslieHapablap: i already miss godwit935.
Various704: dammit. godwit got under my skin tonight.
mental note to self. dont be so damn sensitive
LeslieHapablap: creepy loner has hurt my feelings.
CordialCactus: Dearest LeslieHapablap,
You have strange taste in men. Perplexed, Cactys
LeslieHapablap: cordialcactus, it is true that godwit935
is an acquired taste. sincerely, lesliehapablap


The Specific Woman:

LeslieHapablap: tomorrow we are going whale watching.
LeslieHapablap: on the pacific ocean.


3 Times Fast:
LadyMtnMedic: typsy teepo typing?


Sure Your Zipper Was Up?:

Runnit668: saw a really pretty young woman scopin
me out at a resturaunt today and felt uncomfortable
Science Fiction0: Run did she purchase you?
Greatteepo4615: I dont notice women scopin me out
Runnit668: i was thinking she was too young for me.....lol
Greatteepo4615: Assuming they do



Farm Boys Fightin':

JFWaterman: Compost Phezziwig and spread him out on
the field, he'd grow some crops
Phezziwig13: You better have hay in your teeth when
you say that Mister
Beysshoes: please play nicely boys. or lady gonna
you wid her rawhide.
JFWaterman: Poor Phezz. Just like Godwit, only ever
grew mushrooms.




Not Everyone can be a Political Consultant:
Phezziwig13: If I were Obama when Clinton threw that
Rezzko stuff at me, I would have turned to her and said,
"That smear stuff may get you elected but you will never
be this Senator's President if you choose to try to win
that way."


BOOKS!!! YAY!!!

Beysshoes: runn woot are ye reading these days?
Beysshoes: (we each get to say one line about books
a night here runnit)
Runnit668: the darkest evening of the year by Koontz
Godwit935: Anyone here ever read this Wallace Stegner?
CordialCactus: im reading a book that Ta would probably
like.. dinov.. have you talked to ta lately?
Greatteepo4615: My favorite line in a book is from Catch-22
DinosoreVagina: what book?
KD81785: which line?
Greatteepo4615: Hold on
Greatteepo4615: I dont remember it verbatim
Godwit935: So great he has to look it up.
CordialCactus: coughthewickedbyLabankscough
Greatteepo4615: The chaplain was apologetic,
"I'm sorry, sir, but just about all the prayers I
know are rather somber in tone and make at least
some passing reference to God."