BOOKSHELF IS DECADENT AND DEPRAVED
(apologies to Hunter Thompson).
The BookSlut Monologues Go On.
Maybe she should be paired up with
The Hillary Monologues and see if
they make some kind of weird sense.
If "weird sense" is your thing, check out
the extended discussions on Lima Beans below
... or don't.
BidetKitty is back of late. She hasn't
changed. She tried to assign everyone
roles ... "you're the new TooHotDVM",
"you're the new JadedDrmr" ... but no
one knew what she meant. CreepyLoner
was roused long enough to kick her
butt. But it was an empty victory ---
like knocking out Muhammed Ali coming
out of retirement for yet another shot at
the title.
While it's not really depraved, it's a bit bleak.
There was one pleasant moment that isn't included.
Hillary's boy friend drove through a snow storm to
bring her flowers after his shift at DrugMart.
I had about six jokes for that. But I had held
back.
May we all drive through a snow storm to give
flowers to someone dear to us.
Hard Choices:
BooksIut: i'd rather read about the tragedies of slavs
than the death of a talking dog.
British Chat:
Rhectorix: <<
Terms of Endearment:
Beysshoes: mistah shaw shank
Harryshaw3178: ah tis beys at the moon.
You Oughtta Know:
Harryshaw3178: you can avoid Chinese made eyewear and
still buy at a reasonable price.
Does She Owe Them Money?:
Catpower777: hey, Phrons
Various704: hey phronsie
Beysshoes: hola phrons
Sleepy Eyed Evie: hey phronse
Lydiaparn8: Hi, Phronsie
Phronsie: Hi Various
Summers Eve L: wb Phrons
Lydiaparn8: what is that?
EmpressZ21: looks like yo peeps
Chat Room Relapse:
EmpressZ21: Yoss had left?
Lamumsie: Yoss left?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: he was here this morning
Lydiaparn8: he took a vacation, Emp.
Lamumsie: I saw him last night
EmpressZ21: he did? when
DinosoreVagina: briefly he came to his senses
DinosoreVagina: but he's back
EmpressZ21: like what a 6 hour vacation?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: said something to me that i didnt understand
Sleepy Eyed Evie: but i dont remember what it was now
Various704: poor guy. he almost escaped too
Harryshaw3178: he's in chat room rehab. forced to listen to
the lounge for an hour daily.
DinosoreVagina: yeah, he tried Various
Showing the Proper Enthusiasm:
Beysshoes: omgomg sonya!!!!! !!!!!
Beysshoes: !
Sos I Can Make Intelligent Convo:
Beysshoes: tree please throw out a couple 'sleeper'
titles ... books wise, yes?
TreeSquish: what kind, beys? did you read "then we came to
the end" ?
Beysshoes: who's the author pls
TreeSquish: joshua ferris
TreeSquish: and i just finished "the echo maker"
Beysshoes: you know i'm just using you sos i can make
intelligent convo with binx yes sonya?
Phronsie: Shoes, why on earth would you care whether you
made intelligent convo with bionx?
TreeSquish: i love binx even though he gets snippy
sometimes
Gatsby:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: everyone in here is always talking about
this binx person but i've never met him/ her
Catpower777: Evie he does quick visits at night
Lydiaparn8: Well, not your nights, Evie.
Beysshoes: cat he does those quick visits with you too chica?
Beysshoes: we need to talk girl.
I Thought One of Them Would be Talking:
Hickory49: "vagina monologues" ... went to it ... wasn't much
Anais3233: even after being read a couple times
Yossarian4now: wow, sounds like an old gf
ParaMyrrh: please the last thing we want is talking cunts
The Master Baiter:
ParaMyrrh: All women are whores
[Bing had not offered him a job, that was for sure.
He hadn't provided him a name to contact, a number
to call, or an address to e-mail. In no way, shape,
or form had the guy bestowed entry into any kind of
future or profession. The facts were plain: he was
right where he always was. Outside, alone, lost
again, looking for his Plymouth.]
Who Thinks He's Good:
Dwgardner2021: Could I ask all of you a question?
BinxB91: Fire away, gardner
Dwgardner2021: Do you consider yourself to be a good person?
ParaMyrrh: I do
BinxB91: Gardner, I'm undecided
Likesgarters1: not exactly
BIDET LIVES: i am a good person
Is She Weird 55: I FREAKING LOVE JACK JOHNSON
Ta21l: is she scaring people out of here or what?
He Sounds Like Don Ho?:
Is She Weird 55: JACK JOHNSON IS THE MOST AMAZING SINGER EVER
Is She Weird 55: WHEN YOU HEAR HIM, ALL YOUR WORRIES GO AWAY
Is She Weird 55: YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN HAWAII
[During the party some people were out on the sun deck
talking. It was cold that night so I closed the glass
sliding door. Lou Anne, somewhat inebrietaed, decided
to join the party inside, walked splat into the door
and bounced off. Rachel looked over me and said quite
seriously, "I thought only birds did that."]
BIDETLives ... if you call that living:
BIDET LIVES: and cries for attention beyond that
acceptance of nerds in a chatroom
BIDET LIVES: is that why no one will become your real
friend, creep? because they know you will ultimately blame
them for the drinking?
Creepy Loner: I'm not sure...I haven't asked my non-friends
why they aren't my friends.
Haley's Comet's Next:
LeslieHapablap: the other day i laughed in the chat.
And It's Too Messy:
BinxB91: Leslie, do you ever want to become a mother?
LeslieHapablap: binbx91, no, that would be like getting a
tattoo on my forehead. just plain silly.
CordialCactus: "i make bad decisions"
BinxB91: a tattoo and becoming a parent are not at all similar
Ta21l: not true Binx...they both hurt and you can't be drunk
during either
Proving Ta Wrong:
CordialCactus: ta.. i bartended at a bar that was 3 doors
down from a tattoo parlor
CordialCactus: we would deliverdrinks
Enjoying Kids Under 5:
CordialCactus: i used to go to st. george island florida...
but traveling with 2 kids under 5 makes that less fun
LeslieHapablap: what is fun with 2 kids under 5?
Ta21l: hide and seek
BinxB91: nap time
CordialCactus: lol leslie.. fingerpainting...
squirtgun fights, making homemade pizza
CordialCactus: and.. um...
CordialCactus: there is one other thing
BidetKitty Grasping at Straws:
BIDET LIVES: anais - do you see creep talking about all
the beer she drinks night after night?
BIDET LIVES: boasting about it, publishing it as if
she has nothign better to say
BIDET LIVES: what do you think about this, anais?
Creepy Loner: Yeah...I'm f**king wild. I sometimes have
two whole bottles inside of as many hours.
Creepy Loner: [gasp]
Creepy Loner: I'm a real lush.
BIDET LIVES: then why don't you talk about something else, creep
BIDET LIVES: so you don't seem like a desperate lush
Anais3233: oh. i don't really hear that much beer talk, maybe
i just don't pay that close of attention
Creepy Loner: I like to stay on topic, Bidet, and since you
keep talking about my beer, well, I'm talking about my beer
with you.
Who Do You Love?:
Is She Weird 55: maybe jack johnson will propose to me at
the concert
Is She Weird 55: Just kidding.
Is She Weird 55: he'll sing a song to me
Is She Weird 55: he made a song called Taylor.
He can make one called Hillary.
BidetKitty Leaves:
CordialCactus: phew
CordialCactus: wb creeps
Creepy Loner: [tips hat]
BinxB91: Bidet left ...?
StarlightStorms: broomstick must have caught fire......
CordialCactus: i felt bad breaking out my inner almost bitch
CordialCactus: but.. i had to do what i had to do
Ta21l: you just have to learn to tune her out
LeslieHapablap: the ignore feature works.
BinxB91: YAY CREEPYLONER You were great!!!!
StarlightStorms: exactly, CC lol
Creepy Loner: She's really quite boring.
Lamumsie: CC...I was slightly out of character myself
CordialCactus: needs new material
CordialCactus: lol lams... high five sistah
Ta21l: think of her as static on the radio during your
favorite song...you don't stop singing, you just sing
over it as you go through the tunnel
BinxB91: Her act hasn't changed in years
Creepy Loner: 1. Pick out [what may be] a problem.
2. Hump it to death.
Creepy Loner: [snore, snore, snore]
Oh Yes!! Please Read To Us:
BooksIut: Want to read something I wrote this afternoon?
BooksIut: It is "noir gone berserk." Meaning, crap. But
existentialist crap that can be covered up as modernist.
Lesson Learned:
CordialCactus: we christened the grill today
CordialCactus: btw, charcoal does not start with whiskey
A Muppet Walks Into a Bar:
Anais3233: my husband is very matter of fact
Anais3233: like the eagle from the muppet show
CordialCactus: i would like to meet someone who could
be described as being like Beaker of the Muppet Show
Anais3233: i think you'd have to go to a psyche ward or
some inpatient facility
CordialCactus: or go back to work bartending, anais
Anais3233: you know, it can kind of work to assign muppet
characters to everyone you meet
CordialCactus: i think you're right... like the jack and coke
go to animal in the corner, the fuzzy navel to miss piggy,
the manhattan to kermit, and the sake to big bird, but
be sure to card him first
Heart-Breaker:
Creepy Loner: I claimed to be masturbating in an IM with
a 50 year old man once.
Creepy Loner: Pretty funny...he went wild.
Hadachoke: was it good for you?
Creepy Loner: [frown]
Creepy Loner: Yeah, Hada; I thought it was a lot of fun...
Hadachoke: good choice then
Creepy Loner: But he took me way too seriously and became
a bit annoying.
Down Boy:
Fraleyjackson: HOW OLD AER WHAT UP YA
Fraleyjackson: SOMKE WEED
LadyMtnMedic: Fraley looks to have taken one to many bumps
on the noggin
Fraleyjackson: YA
Fraleyjackson: YA
CordialCactus: i scared my 6'3" brother in law once
Fraleyjackson: OVER TIME
Fraleyjackson: I DRIK
Fraleyjackson: LOT
CordialCactus: oh.. and a professional wrestler another time
.. there is a story for you fraley
Fraleyjackson: WHAT
CordialCactus: i tossed a drink in this wrestlers face....
i was about 17 and he was inappropriately leering at me...
CordialCactus: he turned around and said, im ready to go home now
CordialCactus: heh
Fraleyjackson: MY NAME HA HA HA
CordialCactus: fraley, im not much of an i.m. kind of girl
...well, i used to be a man... but i do have me 6 stepkids
CordialCactus: sh
Fraleyjackson: YOU ARE MIRRED CAKTUS
Catpower777: Cactus, you're a tranny?
CordialCactus: sorta, but the state wont recognize it on account
of me being a man
CordialCactus: no.. im kidding
Fraleyjackson: OK
CordialCactus: im trying to be unattractive and stuff
Fraleyjackson: ME TO
CordialCactus: coughtodiscouragei.m.erscough
Fraleyjackson: DO YOU NO ALL THE JUSTICE LEAGUE HEROES
Therapy For Hillary:
Is She Weird 55: i dont TRY to be unattractive. i just am
Is She Weird 55: it's natural
BinxB91: Hillary, I've seen your pics. You're pretty.
Now shut up
CordialCactus: ditto what binx said
Creepy Loner: Waiting for Hillary to 1. Blame genetics
2. Give me a nasty stare.
Really?:
Is She Weird 55: LOL!!! i ws just reading katy tried and
i totally didnt mean to say 'like like a bandage' after
the condom refrence
Super Powers:
Creepy Loner: After using "Lee's Useless Super-Hero Generator"
I've been blessed with a super-villain identity...
Creepy Loner: I'm "The Wretched Cyberstroke"
Is She Weird 55: i'm just Awesome
CordialCactus: it was just a coincidence mostly.. i had lentil
soup for lunch and vegetarian sushi rolls for dinner
Creepy Loner: My powers include: Matter consumption,
Force blasts [both true].
CordialCactus: lol hillary
Is She Weird 55: i LOVEE sushi but only when other people buy
it and give me some when i'm hungry.
KammaToasted: a vegetarian cactus....
Is She Weird 55: mmmmmmmmmm :)
Is She Weird 55: veggie cacti
DinosoreVagina: Cat, I just stopped by to tell you that you
are going to LOVE this book.
Creepy Loner: Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial electrocution.
BooksIut: Do me, do me.
Creepy Loner: Weapon: Unholy hubcap.
Catpower777: Dino, are you trying to give me pain?
KammaToasted: hahahaha
Catpower777: lol
DinosoreVagina: I just think it's your kinda book
DinosoreVagina: lol
BooksIut: S.
Is She Weird 55: source of power: genetics and creation
Creepy Loner: Transportation: Greencopter.
KammaToasted: that's why i come here
Creepy Loner: All right, Slut...
Catpower777: oh, you can already tell it's pornographic?
Is She Weird 55: transportation: 87 lincoln towncar
DinosoreVagina: no, seriously... I read the first two pages
... and I would have said it was your kind of book -
just from those two pages.
Creepy Loner: Do you want to be a HERO or a VILLAIN?
Is She Weird 55: i'm all of the above creepy
BooksIut: I'm no f*ing Beatrice, wench.
Catpower777: oh, now I really am angry with amazon
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: no, it's not pornographic...
BooksIut: Villain.
Is She Weird 55: i am your spawn
KammaToasted: "i don't care if i'm good or bad,
as long as i'm the star!"
Catpower777: ah well, can't have it all
DinosoreVagina: but there is some creative use of metaphor
Tea-Ja and Hillary:
BinxB91: BookSlut, tell us your real name ...
and I promise to never use it
BooksIut: Tea-ja.
BooksIut: Or, as my boyfriend calls me, Too-ja.
BooksIut: Which means rabbit.
BooksIut: In Mandarin.
BinxB91: Tea-ja?? Did your parents have a fight?
BinxB91: WHY is your name in Mandarin?
BinxB91: Wait. Your boy friend speaks Chinese?
BooksIut: With a name like Tea-ja, you strangely discover
most men are Little Alberts.
BooksIut: You all know the story of Little Albert, right?
Is She Weird 55: fat albert
Is She Weird 55: i know that story
Is She Weird 55: that movie made me cry
Is She Weird 55: HEY HEY HEY
BinxB91: no, I don't
BooksIut: He was conditioned to be fearful of rabbits,
which he loved.
BooksIut: Then, in a sick twist of modern psychology,
BinxB91: Does Hillary do this only when I show up so she
can be on KatyTried?
Is She Weird 55: no
BinxB91: BookSlut, why would a man be afraid of you?
BooksIut: he was counterconditioned
BooksIut: to love them.
BooksIut: So many horrible things have been done in the
name of psychology.
Hillary Therapy II:
Is She Weird 55: i am freaking hungry
Is She Weird 55: all the time
BinxB91: freaking hungry all the time???
Hmm, what can be done for that
Kamperkenii: Binx, I've tried eating in the past.
that works for a few hours
Kamperkenii: but, alas, the hunger returns
Not a Member of the Wedding:
Is She Weird 55: i just found out my parents were married
when i was 5 a month ago!
Is She Weird 55: five years after i was born they got married!
Kamperkenii: yes, we remember when you told us that, 'weird
Is She Weird 55: and i just found that out in january
Is She Weird 55: i was so upset
Catpower777: were you really, Hillary?
Catpower777: upset, I mean?
Is She Weird 55: i started crying. no joke
Is She Weird 55: you shouldnt wait til someone is 18 to tell
them you got married five years after you were born
Creepy Loner: Perhaps your parents made the mistake of
assuming you have a long-term memory, Hillary.
Creepy Loner: Or were you not invited to the wedding?
Not Even Lisa?:
Phronsie: The simpsons are the kind of people I try to
avoid in real life, so I figure it doesnt' make much
sense to seek them out as entertainment
Speaking Cling-on:
ParaMyrrh: I like Baudelaire but that's not one of my
fave's of his I like his Invitation and Cheveux also
the Dedication to Les Fleurs du Mal
BooksIut: Why have your insults ascended higher echelons
of asininity, then, Para?
ParaMyrrh: Book higher entechies I prefer Aristotelian
pedicates for my insults
Preparing the Conversation:
Niontron3: phronsie on ignore
Niontron3: binx on ignore
Phronsie: in pursuit of Rono
Phronsie: gonna Im him to death
Phronsie: He's so handsome and desirable
BinxB91: With the exception of Phronsie and myself,
the rest of you will now be treated to an engaging
round of Rono chat
Bookslut Draws the Line:
BooksIut: Don't. Send those sorts of emails.
BooksIut: Ever. Again.
BooksIut: Understood, snookums?
What BookSlut Finds Funny:
BooksIut: Hahaha.
BinxB91: Bookslut laughs??? what could it be?
BooksIut: Patrick Gass's Journal of the Voyages and
Travels of a Corps of Discovery, under the Command of
Capt. Lewis and Capt. Clarke . . . through the Interior
Parts of North America to the Pacific Ocean, during the
Years 1804 - 1806.
BooksIut: Hahaha.
BooksIut: "An American having struck a Bear but not
kill'd him escaped into a Tree."
BooksIut: This phenomenon was verbicized, as it happened
so frequently.
BooksIut: "Treed by a bear."
BooksIut: Hahaha.
Spring Break Plans:
Is She Weird 55: next week's spring break so you'll
be seein more of me!
In Section 41, Rooting for Iowa:
Anais3233: i saw the dali llama
DinosoreVagina: when Anais?
Anais3233: back in 1990
Anais3233: at badger stadium, it was a packed house
You Remind Me:
Is She Weird 55: my feet hurt from ballet :(
IaintRlGHT: hot tub hillary will cure that
Is She Weird 55: I DONT HAVE A FREAKING HOT TUB
Your Ex: Hillary, today, I was at a store and saw a copy
of 10 Things I Hate About You on sale for about $5 and
bought it; I just finished watching it and thought of
you the whole time...
Your Ex: And farted.
Your Ex: Often.
Even if the Car Has a Driver?:
CordialCactus: i have a fear of riding in a car that i am
not driving in chicago rush hour traffic
With a Webcam?:
BooksIut: OMFG.
BooksIut: That reminds me.
BooksIut: The nastiest thing happened to me, today.
Your Ex: Oh no, the gross spider story...
IaintRlGHT: herpes outbreak book?
Your Ex: Off of my jokes, Right.
BooksIut: Right. I handled that well enough.
BooksIut: But, this.
BooksIut: Worse.
BooksIut: I was crapping, with my laptop on my lap
(I do this often, FYI) and next thing I knew
Your Ex: [laughing]
BooksIut: a bug fell from the ceiling
BooksIut: on top of my laptop
Anais3233: lol
Your Ex: Spiders LOVE computers.
BooksIut: dangerously close to my pubic hair.
BooksIut: And I freaked out,
IaintRlGHT: bottom of yer laptop get some back splash?
Niontron3: book, you do this with your webcam on?
Science Project:
Anais3233: the kids are putting that big bubblewrap
underneath people's welcome mat
With a Wide Stance?:
Zoshka5: speaking of r. kelly, I stood next to Bill Gates
at a movie theatre urinal
And She's Stuck in 1964:
BooksIut: I have a hunch I'll age as well as me mum.
BooksIut: She looks young for her age.
Zoshka5: is she single?
BooksIut: No.
BooksIut: She's dating a Negro.
Clash of the Titans:
JFWaterman: Someone pooped in your head, because they
were dumb enough to beleive it.
Niontron3: JFWater, nobody fed me this...I thought it up..
JFWaterman: Look, Niontron, I don't have anything against
you as a person-
JFWaterman: -you seem fairly bright if misguided and confused-
Niontron3: JFWater, I never said you did...
JFWaterman: -but if you want to live three feet up your own
ass, I can't do anything to help you. It's your choice.
Niontron3: you live in a make believe world...
Zoshka5: live 3 feet up your own ass...be careful of
foreclosure, in case you took out a subcolonic loan
No Secrets:
Is She Weird 55: i'm actually gonna take my contacts out
OK, But Would You Let Her Have the Remote?:
Godwit935: Binx, I love women, I endorse them, embrace them,
empower them.
Terms of Endearment:
Creepy Loner: [blank stare]
Creepy Loner: What?
Meet VV/Lima Bean OverDoses:
VintagedVisions: you can call me "W" for short
VintagedVisions: i dont mind.
CordialCactus: lol, i will
CordialCactus: thankyou
Kamperkenii: VV, could you suggest something more terse?
Iuokhon: all those v's reminds of me of when I use to
use multiple ones to depict fangs
Kamperkenii: let's condense that down to 'half V"
VintagedVisions: what Kamp said
VintagedVisions: v <-- terse
Kamperkenii: 1/2v, I'm truly curious on the etymology
of your SN
VintagedVisions: welll ....
VintagedVisions: it's a very long story you see
Kamperkenii: <----looking
CordialCactus: he likes old pinup girls
CordialCactus: wait
VintagedVisions: o
VintagedVisions: ic
CordialCactus: or...
CordialCactus: you collect, antique spectacles
CordialCactus: or... you see things from the past
CordialCactus: or...
VintagedVisions: i came back to find out about the lima beans
CordialCactus: oh
CordialCactus: creepy... your area!
Kamperkenii: everyone got the munchies and ate all the lima beans
Iuokhon: The lima beans are going to be worked into the story
as bar snacks
VintagedVisions: - waiting for story -
Kamperkenii: .5v, prepare for a long wait
CordialCactus: im not the story teller.. im just a catalyst
VintagedVisions: sigh
Kamperkenii: 50/100*v, if you like, I'll make up a story
Iuokhon: Maybe the story could be called "Pot Smoke and
Lima Beans."
VintagedVisions: yes, please.
Kamperkenii: ok, here goes....
Kamperkenii: hmmmm
Kamperkenii: uh, could we change the lima beans to rutabagas?
Kamperkenii: those are more inspiring
VintagedVisions: : shaking head :
CordialCactus: kamp.... lol
Kamperkenii: ok, ok
Kamperkenii: I'll stick with lima beans
VintagedVisions: : laying on tummy :
OnlineHost: Pony crap has entered the room.
Kamperkenii: This story is about Creepy Loner, and how
in her previous career, which shall remain unmentioned,
but hinted at...
CordialCactus: on tummy? feet in the air, kindergarten style?
CordialCactus: cool
VintagedVisions: shhhhh
Kamperkenii: ...would cater to a clientele with the most
esoteric of tastes
CordialCactus: no you shh
Kamperkenii: and when i say 'esoteric', I mean esoteric,
if'n ya get my drift...
CordialCactus: snicker
VintagedVisions: : nodding head :
Kamperkenii: 50% of v, you get my drift
VintagedVisions: yes yes
Kamperkenii: well.......
OnlineHost: Pony crap has left the room.
Kamperkenii: one such 'client' of Creepy's derived a little
more pleasure than is healthy by having his naked buttocks
pelted by lima beans why Creeyp would sing Oh, Canada
VintagedVisions: that has to be the lamest magic lima bean
story i ever heard in my cuber life
DinosoreVagina: how many have you heard?
VintagedVisions: a lot
CordialCactus: lol
DinosoreVagina: ok
Kamperkenii: lol
Iuokhon: it's supposed to be, vintage. That's what makes it amusing
DinosoreVagina: what's the best?
VintagedVisions: i collect them
DinosoreVagina: so, prove it
Kamperkenii: well, v/2 never let me finish the story
DinosoreVagina: lets hear one
VintagedVisions: it is past my bed time
Iuokhon: I want to hear the rest, kamp
Kamperkenii: that was just the warm up to the good parts
CordialCactus: creepy..... you do it.. give V a heartfelt
lima bean story...
Teressahay: how old ru
CordialCactus: the epitome of all lima bean stories!
Kamperkenii: me? 55. you, Teressa?
CordialCactus: i have one...
CordialCactus: wait.. dont go
CordialCactus: ready
VintagedVisions: o
Teressahay: 33
VintagedVisions: mhm
Kamperkenii: you're a young woman, Teressa
CordialCactus: Waiting and watching for awhile.. i seek....
Teressahay: thank u
Kamperkenii: you're the kind of young woman that I approach
in bars and tell lima bean stories to
DinosoreVagina: kenii, was that you?
DinosoreVagina: when did you get out?
Kamperkenii: what, what, Dino?
Creepy Loner: No one approaches me with lima bean stories...
Teressahay: really would u
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
CordialCactus: pondering the unponderable....
when were... who will love lima beans... the way i love lima beans
CordialCactus: where*
Kamperkenii: no, Teressa, I would not. I'm just teasing.
and do NOT believe what Dino says
Iuokhon: That's a good follow up title for the second book
Teressahay: ok
Iuokhon: Love and Lima Beans
Kamperkenii: Creepy, I shall confedt a lima bean story JUST for you
Kamperkenii: I like that, luok
CordialCactus: who will play board games with the same passion...
WHO WILL EAT A CHEESE WHEEL WITH ME!
CordialCactus: the end
Teressahay: u do
CordialCactus: snap snap
Kamperkenii: LOL
VintagedVisions: :::: wild applause :::::
VintagedVisions: :::: flicks my bic :::::::
Creepy Loner: [open weeping]
Kamperkenii: ya, know, I think we pushed 'Cactus over the edge
CordialCactus: i call it
CordialCactus: An Ode to Creeps
Mizzimm: oh my
Teressahay: got a girlfriend
CordialCactus: lol kamp
DinosoreVagina: I am calling the lima bean hotline right now Kenii
DinosoreVagina: help is on the way
Mizzimm: good evening
Creepy Loner: Off of my lima beans, you whores!
Kamperkenii: uh, dino, before you do, let me give you my account number
CordialCactus: hi mizzi
Sbohemiana: So this lima bean walks into a bar...
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
DinosoreVagina: there once was a lima bean from nantucket...
When the Going Gets Tough, Hang Up:
DinosoreVagina: omg, they hung up
DinosoreVagina: what kind of hotline hangs up
Creepy Loner: My kind of hotline does...
Lima Bean Rehab ... and Porn:
Creepy Loner: Surely a lima-lover hung up on you.
Kamperkenii: and yes, there WILL be a next time
DinosoreVagina: ok Kenii, I'll call back
DinosoreVagina: possibly creepy, but I never got to
request a lima bean intervention
DinosoreVagina: perhaps the lima beans were soaked in vodka?
Iuokhon: drinks infused with extract of lima beans
Iuokhon: interesting
Sbohemiana: I just ordered a lima-tini
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
Iuokhon: lima with a twist
DinosoreVagina: no lima beans infused with extracts of alcohol
Kamperkenii: with a twist of lima
Max 314159265358: Just goto bed
CordialCactus: aha
DinosoreVagina: people would eat more vegetables
CordialCactus: thats an idea, dinov
DinosoreVagina: see
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Iuokhon: lima beans and moonshine?
CordialCactus: title for a book
Iuokhon: I guess that's book title three.
Kamperkenii: title for someone's autobiography
CordialCactus: Lima Beans and Moonshine
DinosoreVagina: maybe a tv show
CordialCactus: i like it
DinosoreVagina: who can play the lima bean
CordialCactus: the lima bean is just suggested... how about that?
Creepy Loner: [flops back down with coffee]...Max, I can't sleep
while these bitches rape my lovely limas.
Creepy Loner: This is war.
Iuokhon: lol creepy. :D
DinosoreVagina: VV will be a suggestive lima bean?
Creepy Loner: [cracking neck / elbows / fingers / toes]
CordialCactus: lol creepy... it was all for you!
Kamperkenii: see? Creepy just wrote the opening chapter
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Sbohemiana: "My Life as a Pod"
Iuokhon: hmm
DinosoreVagina: Lima bean porn ...
DinosoreVagina: will it never end
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Iuokhon: The Milagro Lima Bean War, or sometihng
Creepy Loner: I missed that.
Creepy Loner: Keep going.
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Creepy Loner: Let me drop my pants...wait...BRB.
Kamperkenii: ok, Creepy, I shall pick up where I left off....
DinosoreVagina: keni was undressing the bean creep
Iuokhon: Limas in the Outfield
OnlineHost: Gypsyjo47 has entered the room.
DinosoreVagina: so uh
Creepy Loner: Okay! Genitals exposed and ready for a story!
Creepy Loner: Go!
CordialCactus: hiya gypsyjo!
DinosoreVagina: lol
Kamperkenii: ok, now where was I?
Teressahay: hi
DinosoreVagina: hi gypsy
Kamperkenii: Dino?
Gypsyjo47: Cactus****
DinosoreVagina: you had the bean on the counter kenii
Gypsyjo47: Vag***
Max 314159265358: Creep that's not exactly giving an erection
Kamperkenii: oh, that's right, Dino
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: omg he has a knife
Iuokhon: A few irrelevant quotes, like
"What the hell are these lima beans doing in left field!?"
DinosoreVagina: I think it's a snuff film
Kamperkenii: when you say 'bean on the counter', you mean
'bean counter', which means Anais!
DinosoreVagina: kenii, um
Creepy Loner: All right, Max...the truth is that I didn't
move at all. My pants have been off for hours. I'm in my
woobie and a man's dress shirt and really huge socks from
some South American hell...
CordialCactus: which makes me think of anise... which
leads to sausage!
Creepy Loner: Erection back now?
Max 314159265358: No.
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: LOL 'Cactus!
DinosoreVagina: wow now I'm excited creep
Creepy Loner: LOL
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Kamperkenii: well, the conclusion to the story will have to wait
Sbohemiana: what's a woobie?
Kamperkenii: I'm calling it a night
Mizzimm: sausage and beans. now youre talkin'
Max 314159265358: did you wear a tie?
CordialCactus: awww...
Creepy Loner: F*ck...nearly sprayed the computer with coffee
...damn you, Dino.
CordialCactus: night kamp
DinosoreVagina: night kenii
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: night all!!
OnlineHost: Kamperkenii has left the room.
Creepy Loner: I didn't wear a tie...no...
DinosoreVagina: keep talkin
DinosoreVagina: what else aren't you wearing?
Max 314159265358: I'm as flacicid as lake placcid
CordialCactus: dinov... if you were saying that out
loud.. would if have delivered in a dry manner
Creepy Loner: Umm...I'm not wearing underwear.
CordialCactus: or a learing manner
DinosoreVagina: hmm
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing a bra.
CordialCactus: the wow part
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing...
Creepy Loner: Perfume.
DinosoreVagina: well I'm a little nearsighted so it would
have been dry, yet leering
DinosoreVagina: ::fanning self::
CordialCactus: leer lear.. leer..man im sucking at this
spelling crap
Max 314159265358: the wow part the kneecaps not being busted?
DinosoreVagina: are you not wearing, a hat?
Mizzimm: how about a grin, creepy?
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Creepy Loner: I never wear a grin.
Mizzimm: bummer
Creepy Loner: I will wear a smirk now and then.
CordialCactus's Mom is MaryAnn?:
Creepy Loner: How could we work lima beans into a story
about a bartender with a name that gets slurred all over
the place...hmm [pensive chin rub]...
CordialCactus: my mom weeps for me..... im a constant
source of shame
Kamperkenii: hada, mom does not approve so she rips off
'Cactus' stash and smokes i tup to punish her
Iuokhon: maybe it's a werid bar that has lima beans in
containers for bar snacks.
Hadachoke: kenii, i want cordials moms job
CordialCactus: kamp....lol.. my mom would kick your ass
for saying that
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, I believe you about your mom
Creepy Loner: That's what I was thinking Iou...
CordialCactus: she is scary with a wooden spoon
VintagedVisions: : waiting for story :
Creepy Loner: Get rid of the beer nuts...
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, we know your mom would smoke up your
stash since Mom would never touch 'dirt weed'
Iuokhon: Woman beats child to death with wooden spoon?
Kamperkenii: Cactus, the chat has collectively concluded
that your mom is a bit of a virago
Iuokhon: :D
Iuokhon: That's good
Hadachoke: that's a waste of good Lima Beans
CordialCactus: she once asked me if my husband was a "drug
smoker" i hope he doesnt "smoke that grass"
Hadachoke: your husband just burns fields, right?
Hadachoke: to clear the trash
Hadachoke: ?
Kamperkenii: Dino you still there?
Kamperkenii: you've been quiet. TOO quiet
Iuokhon: Oh, I was laughing at Jam's comment, btw.
Not my wooden spoon remark.
Kamperkenii: something must be afoot
CordialCactus: oh! and she was walking through branson
with her sisters.. and her sisters said.. woof, did you
smell that.. thats pot.. my mom said.. let me smell i want
to smell pot.. and the guy came out and asker her if she
wanted to smoke a
DinosoreVagina: sorry kenii, I was calling Cactus's mom
Hadachoke: sore iis hiding from something
CordialCactus: doobie with him... these things happen
to my 70 yr old mother
CordialCactus: lol dinov!
Kamperkenii: LOL
Kamperkenii: my gawd, that was funny
DinosoreVagina: she said yes right?
Iuokhon: 70 and still considered hip. Interesting.
Hadachoke: of course
DinosoreVagina: didn't maryann just get busted
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. she talks the talk.. but wont
walk the walk.. or .. she has me convinced of that, anyway
Iuokhon: yeah
Iuokhon: dv
DinosoreVagina: wait, that's not your mom is it Cactus?
Kamperkenii: yes she did, Dino
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. thats not my mom
Iuokhon: though supposedly it was not hers
CordialCactus: ha! likely story
DinosoreVagina: right
Kamperkenii: Dino, no newsletter, right?
Jam7604801: hitchhikers is what she said
Iuokhon: I read that some friend of hers claimed
he left in her car.
Going Postal, Hawaiian Style:
Beysshoes: i went to the post office yesterday.
it was a splendid day.
(apologies to Hunter Thompson).
The BookSlut Monologues Go On.
Maybe she should be paired up with
The Hillary Monologues and see if
they make some kind of weird sense.
If "weird sense" is your thing, check out
the extended discussions on Lima Beans below
... or don't.
BidetKitty is back of late. She hasn't
changed. She tried to assign everyone
roles ... "you're the new TooHotDVM",
"you're the new JadedDrmr" ... but no
one knew what she meant. CreepyLoner
was roused long enough to kick her
butt. But it was an empty victory ---
like knocking out Muhammed Ali coming
out of retirement for yet another shot at
the title.
While it's not really depraved, it's a bit bleak.
There was one pleasant moment that isn't included.
Hillary's boy friend drove through a snow storm to
bring her flowers after his shift at DrugMart.
I had about six jokes for that. But I had held
back.
May we all drive through a snow storm to give
flowers to someone dear to us.
Hard Choices:
BooksIut: i'd rather read about the tragedies of slavs
than the death of a talking dog.
British Chat:
Rhectorix: <<
Terms of Endearment:
Beysshoes: mistah shaw shank
Harryshaw3178: ah tis beys at the moon.
You Oughtta Know:
Harryshaw3178: you can avoid Chinese made eyewear and
still buy at a reasonable price.
Does She Owe Them Money?:
Catpower777: hey, Phrons
Various704: hey phronsie
Beysshoes: hola phrons
Sleepy Eyed Evie: hey phronse
Lydiaparn8: Hi, Phronsie
Phronsie: Hi Various
Summers Eve L: wb Phrons
Lydiaparn8: what is that?
EmpressZ21: looks like yo peeps
Chat Room Relapse:
EmpressZ21: Yoss had left?
Lamumsie: Yoss left?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: he was here this morning
Lydiaparn8: he took a vacation, Emp.
Lamumsie: I saw him last night
EmpressZ21: he did? when
DinosoreVagina: briefly he came to his senses
DinosoreVagina: but he's back
EmpressZ21: like what a 6 hour vacation?
Sleepy Eyed Evie: said something to me that i didnt understand
Sleepy Eyed Evie: but i dont remember what it was now
Various704: poor guy. he almost escaped too
Harryshaw3178: he's in chat room rehab. forced to listen to
the lounge for an hour daily.
DinosoreVagina: yeah, he tried Various
Showing the Proper Enthusiasm:
Beysshoes: omgomg sonya!!!!! !!!!!
Beysshoes: !
Sos I Can Make Intelligent Convo:
Beysshoes: tree please throw out a couple 'sleeper'
titles ... books wise, yes?
TreeSquish: what kind, beys? did you read "then we came to
the end" ?
Beysshoes: who's the author pls
TreeSquish: joshua ferris
TreeSquish: and i just finished "the echo maker"
Beysshoes: you know i'm just using you sos i can make
intelligent convo with binx yes sonya?
Phronsie: Shoes, why on earth would you care whether you
made intelligent convo with bionx?
TreeSquish: i love binx even though he gets snippy
sometimes
Gatsby:
Sleepy Eyed Evie: everyone in here is always talking about
this binx person but i've never met him/ her
Catpower777: Evie he does quick visits at night
Lydiaparn8: Well, not your nights, Evie.
Beysshoes: cat he does those quick visits with you too chica?
Beysshoes: we need to talk girl.
I Thought One of Them Would be Talking:
Hickory49: "vagina monologues" ... went to it ... wasn't much
Anais3233: even after being read a couple times
Yossarian4now: wow, sounds like an old gf
ParaMyrrh: please the last thing we want is talking cunts
The Master Baiter:
ParaMyrrh: All women are whores
[Bing had not offered him a job, that was for sure.
He hadn't provided him a name to contact, a number
to call, or an address to e-mail. In no way, shape,
or form had the guy bestowed entry into any kind of
future or profession. The facts were plain: he was
right where he always was. Outside, alone, lost
again, looking for his Plymouth.]
Who Thinks He's Good:
Dwgardner2021: Could I ask all of you a question?
BinxB91: Fire away, gardner
Dwgardner2021: Do you consider yourself to be a good person?
ParaMyrrh: I do
BinxB91: Gardner, I'm undecided
Likesgarters1: not exactly
BIDET LIVES: i am a good person
Is She Weird 55: I FREAKING LOVE JACK JOHNSON
Ta21l: is she scaring people out of here or what?
He Sounds Like Don Ho?:
Is She Weird 55: JACK JOHNSON IS THE MOST AMAZING SINGER EVER
Is She Weird 55: WHEN YOU HEAR HIM, ALL YOUR WORRIES GO AWAY
Is She Weird 55: YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN HAWAII
[During the party some people were out on the sun deck
talking. It was cold that night so I closed the glass
sliding door. Lou Anne, somewhat inebrietaed, decided
to join the party inside, walked splat into the door
and bounced off. Rachel looked over me and said quite
seriously, "I thought only birds did that."]
BIDETLives ... if you call that living:
BIDET LIVES: and cries for attention beyond that
acceptance of nerds in a chatroom
BIDET LIVES: is that why no one will become your real
friend, creep? because they know you will ultimately blame
them for the drinking?
Creepy Loner: I'm not sure...I haven't asked my non-friends
why they aren't my friends.
Haley's Comet's Next:
LeslieHapablap: the other day i laughed in the chat.
And It's Too Messy:
BinxB91: Leslie, do you ever want to become a mother?
LeslieHapablap: binbx91, no, that would be like getting a
tattoo on my forehead. just plain silly.
CordialCactus: "i make bad decisions"
BinxB91: a tattoo and becoming a parent are not at all similar
Ta21l: not true Binx...they both hurt and you can't be drunk
during either
Proving Ta Wrong:
CordialCactus: ta.. i bartended at a bar that was 3 doors
down from a tattoo parlor
CordialCactus: we would deliverdrinks
Enjoying Kids Under 5:
CordialCactus: i used to go to st. george island florida...
but traveling with 2 kids under 5 makes that less fun
LeslieHapablap: what is fun with 2 kids under 5?
Ta21l: hide and seek
BinxB91: nap time
CordialCactus: lol leslie.. fingerpainting...
squirtgun fights, making homemade pizza
CordialCactus: and.. um...
CordialCactus: there is one other thing
BidetKitty Grasping at Straws:
BIDET LIVES: anais - do you see creep talking about all
the beer she drinks night after night?
BIDET LIVES: boasting about it, publishing it as if
she has nothign better to say
BIDET LIVES: what do you think about this, anais?
Creepy Loner: Yeah...I'm f**king wild. I sometimes have
two whole bottles inside of as many hours.
Creepy Loner: [gasp]
Creepy Loner: I'm a real lush.
BIDET LIVES: then why don't you talk about something else, creep
BIDET LIVES: so you don't seem like a desperate lush
Anais3233: oh. i don't really hear that much beer talk, maybe
i just don't pay that close of attention
Creepy Loner: I like to stay on topic, Bidet, and since you
keep talking about my beer, well, I'm talking about my beer
with you.
Who Do You Love?:
Is She Weird 55: maybe jack johnson will propose to me at
the concert
Is She Weird 55: Just kidding.
Is She Weird 55: he'll sing a song to me
Is She Weird 55: he made a song called Taylor.
He can make one called Hillary.
BidetKitty Leaves:
CordialCactus: phew
CordialCactus: wb creeps
Creepy Loner: [tips hat]
BinxB91: Bidet left ...?
StarlightStorms: broomstick must have caught fire......
CordialCactus: i felt bad breaking out my inner almost bitch
CordialCactus: but.. i had to do what i had to do
Ta21l: you just have to learn to tune her out
LeslieHapablap: the ignore feature works.
BinxB91: YAY CREEPYLONER You were great!!!!
StarlightStorms: exactly, CC lol
Creepy Loner: She's really quite boring.
Lamumsie: CC...I was slightly out of character myself
CordialCactus: needs new material
CordialCactus: lol lams... high five sistah
Ta21l: think of her as static on the radio during your
favorite song...you don't stop singing, you just sing
over it as you go through the tunnel
BinxB91: Her act hasn't changed in years
Creepy Loner: 1. Pick out [what may be] a problem.
2. Hump it to death.
Creepy Loner: [snore, snore, snore]
Oh Yes!! Please Read To Us:
BooksIut: Want to read something I wrote this afternoon?
BooksIut: It is "noir gone berserk." Meaning, crap. But
existentialist crap that can be covered up as modernist.
Lesson Learned:
CordialCactus: we christened the grill today
CordialCactus: btw, charcoal does not start with whiskey
A Muppet Walks Into a Bar:
Anais3233: my husband is very matter of fact
Anais3233: like the eagle from the muppet show
CordialCactus: i would like to meet someone who could
be described as being like Beaker of the Muppet Show
Anais3233: i think you'd have to go to a psyche ward or
some inpatient facility
CordialCactus: or go back to work bartending, anais
Anais3233: you know, it can kind of work to assign muppet
characters to everyone you meet
CordialCactus: i think you're right... like the jack and coke
go to animal in the corner, the fuzzy navel to miss piggy,
the manhattan to kermit, and the sake to big bird, but
be sure to card him first
Heart-Breaker:
Creepy Loner: I claimed to be masturbating in an IM with
a 50 year old man once.
Creepy Loner: Pretty funny...he went wild.
Hadachoke: was it good for you?
Creepy Loner: [frown]
Creepy Loner: Yeah, Hada; I thought it was a lot of fun...
Hadachoke: good choice then
Creepy Loner: But he took me way too seriously and became
a bit annoying.
Down Boy:
Fraleyjackson: HOW OLD AER WHAT UP YA
Fraleyjackson: SOMKE WEED
LadyMtnMedic: Fraley looks to have taken one to many bumps
on the noggin
Fraleyjackson: YA
Fraleyjackson: YA
CordialCactus: i scared my 6'3" brother in law once
Fraleyjackson: OVER TIME
Fraleyjackson: I DRIK
Fraleyjackson: LOT
CordialCactus: oh.. and a professional wrestler another time
.. there is a story for you fraley
Fraleyjackson: WHAT
CordialCactus: i tossed a drink in this wrestlers face....
i was about 17 and he was inappropriately leering at me...
CordialCactus: he turned around and said, im ready to go home now
CordialCactus: heh
Fraleyjackson: MY NAME HA HA HA
CordialCactus: fraley, im not much of an i.m. kind of girl
...well, i used to be a man... but i do have me 6 stepkids
CordialCactus: sh
Fraleyjackson: YOU ARE MIRRED CAKTUS
Catpower777: Cactus, you're a tranny?
CordialCactus: sorta, but the state wont recognize it on account
of me being a man
CordialCactus: no.. im kidding
Fraleyjackson: OK
CordialCactus: im trying to be unattractive and stuff
Fraleyjackson: ME TO
CordialCactus: coughtodiscouragei.m.erscough
Fraleyjackson: DO YOU NO ALL THE JUSTICE LEAGUE HEROES
Therapy For Hillary:
Is She Weird 55: i dont TRY to be unattractive. i just am
Is She Weird 55: it's natural
BinxB91: Hillary, I've seen your pics. You're pretty.
Now shut up
CordialCactus: ditto what binx said
Creepy Loner: Waiting for Hillary to 1. Blame genetics
2. Give me a nasty stare.
Really?:
Is She Weird 55: LOL!!! i ws just reading katy tried and
i totally didnt mean to say 'like like a bandage' after
the condom refrence
Super Powers:
Creepy Loner: After using "Lee's Useless Super-Hero Generator"
I've been blessed with a super-villain identity...
Creepy Loner: I'm "The Wretched Cyberstroke"
Is She Weird 55: i'm just Awesome
CordialCactus: it was just a coincidence mostly.. i had lentil
soup for lunch and vegetarian sushi rolls for dinner
Creepy Loner: My powers include: Matter consumption,
Force blasts [both true].
CordialCactus: lol hillary
Is She Weird 55: i LOVEE sushi but only when other people buy
it and give me some when i'm hungry.
KammaToasted: a vegetarian cactus....
Is She Weird 55: mmmmmmmmmm :)
Is She Weird 55: veggie cacti
DinosoreVagina: Cat, I just stopped by to tell you that you
are going to LOVE this book.
Creepy Loner: Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial electrocution.
BooksIut: Do me, do me.
Creepy Loner: Weapon: Unholy hubcap.
Catpower777: Dino, are you trying to give me pain?
KammaToasted: hahahaha
Catpower777: lol
DinosoreVagina: I just think it's your kinda book
DinosoreVagina: lol
BooksIut: S.
Is She Weird 55: source of power: genetics and creation
Creepy Loner: Transportation: Greencopter.
KammaToasted: that's why i come here
Creepy Loner: All right, Slut...
Catpower777: oh, you can already tell it's pornographic?
Is She Weird 55: transportation: 87 lincoln towncar
DinosoreVagina: no, seriously... I read the first two pages
... and I would have said it was your kind of book -
just from those two pages.
Creepy Loner: Do you want to be a HERO or a VILLAIN?
Is She Weird 55: i'm all of the above creepy
BooksIut: I'm no f*ing Beatrice, wench.
Catpower777: oh, now I really am angry with amazon
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: no, it's not pornographic...
BooksIut: Villain.
Is She Weird 55: i am your spawn
KammaToasted: "i don't care if i'm good or bad,
as long as i'm the star!"
Catpower777: ah well, can't have it all
DinosoreVagina: but there is some creative use of metaphor
Tea-Ja and Hillary:
BinxB91: BookSlut, tell us your real name ...
and I promise to never use it
BooksIut: Tea-ja.
BooksIut: Or, as my boyfriend calls me, Too-ja.
BooksIut: Which means rabbit.
BooksIut: In Mandarin.
BinxB91: Tea-ja?? Did your parents have a fight?
BinxB91: WHY is your name in Mandarin?
BinxB91: Wait. Your boy friend speaks Chinese?
BooksIut: With a name like Tea-ja, you strangely discover
most men are Little Alberts.
BooksIut: You all know the story of Little Albert, right?
Is She Weird 55: fat albert
Is She Weird 55: i know that story
Is She Weird 55: that movie made me cry
Is She Weird 55: HEY HEY HEY
BinxB91: no, I don't
BooksIut: He was conditioned to be fearful of rabbits,
which he loved.
BooksIut: Then, in a sick twist of modern psychology,
BinxB91: Does Hillary do this only when I show up so she
can be on KatyTried?
Is She Weird 55: no
BinxB91: BookSlut, why would a man be afraid of you?
BooksIut: he was counterconditioned
BooksIut: to love them.
BooksIut: So many horrible things have been done in the
name of psychology.
Hillary Therapy II:
Is She Weird 55: i am freaking hungry
Is She Weird 55: all the time
BinxB91: freaking hungry all the time???
Hmm, what can be done for that
Kamperkenii: Binx, I've tried eating in the past.
that works for a few hours
Kamperkenii: but, alas, the hunger returns
Not a Member of the Wedding:
Is She Weird 55: i just found out my parents were married
when i was 5 a month ago!
Is She Weird 55: five years after i was born they got married!
Kamperkenii: yes, we remember when you told us that, 'weird
Is She Weird 55: and i just found that out in january
Is She Weird 55: i was so upset
Catpower777: were you really, Hillary?
Catpower777: upset, I mean?
Is She Weird 55: i started crying. no joke
Is She Weird 55: you shouldnt wait til someone is 18 to tell
them you got married five years after you were born
Creepy Loner: Perhaps your parents made the mistake of
assuming you have a long-term memory, Hillary.
Creepy Loner: Or were you not invited to the wedding?
Not Even Lisa?:
Phronsie: The simpsons are the kind of people I try to
avoid in real life, so I figure it doesnt' make much
sense to seek them out as entertainment
Speaking Cling-on:
ParaMyrrh: I like Baudelaire but that's not one of my
fave's of his I like his Invitation and Cheveux also
the Dedication to Les Fleurs du Mal
BooksIut: Why have your insults ascended higher echelons
of asininity, then, Para?
ParaMyrrh: Book higher entechies I prefer Aristotelian
pedicates for my insults
Preparing the Conversation:
Niontron3: phronsie on ignore
Niontron3: binx on ignore
Phronsie: in pursuit of Rono
Phronsie: gonna Im him to death
Phronsie: He's so handsome and desirable
BinxB91: With the exception of Phronsie and myself,
the rest of you will now be treated to an engaging
round of Rono chat
Bookslut Draws the Line:
BooksIut: Don't. Send those sorts of emails.
BooksIut: Ever. Again.
BooksIut: Understood, snookums?
What BookSlut Finds Funny:
BooksIut: Hahaha.
BinxB91: Bookslut laughs??? what could it be?
BooksIut: Patrick Gass's Journal of the Voyages and
Travels of a Corps of Discovery, under the Command of
Capt. Lewis and Capt. Clarke . . . through the Interior
Parts of North America to the Pacific Ocean, during the
Years 1804 - 1806.
BooksIut: Hahaha.
BooksIut: "An American having struck a Bear but not
kill'd him escaped into a Tree."
BooksIut: This phenomenon was verbicized, as it happened
so frequently.
BooksIut: "Treed by a bear."
BooksIut: Hahaha.
Spring Break Plans:
Is She Weird 55: next week's spring break so you'll
be seein more of me!
In Section 41, Rooting for Iowa:
Anais3233: i saw the dali llama
DinosoreVagina: when Anais?
Anais3233: back in 1990
Anais3233: at badger stadium, it was a packed house
You Remind Me:
Is She Weird 55: my feet hurt from ballet :(
IaintRlGHT: hot tub hillary will cure that
Is She Weird 55: I DONT HAVE A FREAKING HOT TUB
Your Ex: Hillary, today, I was at a store and saw a copy
of 10 Things I Hate About You on sale for about $5 and
bought it; I just finished watching it and thought of
you the whole time...
Your Ex: And farted.
Your Ex: Often.
Even if the Car Has a Driver?:
CordialCactus: i have a fear of riding in a car that i am
not driving in chicago rush hour traffic
With a Webcam?:
BooksIut: OMFG.
BooksIut: That reminds me.
BooksIut: The nastiest thing happened to me, today.
Your Ex: Oh no, the gross spider story...
IaintRlGHT: herpes outbreak book?
Your Ex: Off of my jokes, Right.
BooksIut: Right. I handled that well enough.
BooksIut: But, this.
BooksIut: Worse.
BooksIut: I was crapping, with my laptop on my lap
(I do this often, FYI) and next thing I knew
Your Ex: [laughing]
BooksIut: a bug fell from the ceiling
BooksIut: on top of my laptop
Anais3233: lol
Your Ex: Spiders LOVE computers.
BooksIut: dangerously close to my pubic hair.
BooksIut: And I freaked out,
IaintRlGHT: bottom of yer laptop get some back splash?
Niontron3: book, you do this with your webcam on?
Science Project:
Anais3233: the kids are putting that big bubblewrap
underneath people's welcome mat
With a Wide Stance?:
Zoshka5: speaking of r. kelly, I stood next to Bill Gates
at a movie theatre urinal
And She's Stuck in 1964:
BooksIut: I have a hunch I'll age as well as me mum.
BooksIut: She looks young for her age.
Zoshka5: is she single?
BooksIut: No.
BooksIut: She's dating a Negro.
Clash of the Titans:
JFWaterman: Someone pooped in your head, because they
were dumb enough to beleive it.
Niontron3: JFWater, nobody fed me this...I thought it up..
JFWaterman: Look, Niontron, I don't have anything against
you as a person-
JFWaterman: -you seem fairly bright if misguided and confused-
Niontron3: JFWater, I never said you did...
JFWaterman: -but if you want to live three feet up your own
ass, I can't do anything to help you. It's your choice.
Niontron3: you live in a make believe world...
Zoshka5: live 3 feet up your own ass...be careful of
foreclosure, in case you took out a subcolonic loan
No Secrets:
Is She Weird 55: i'm actually gonna take my contacts out
OK, But Would You Let Her Have the Remote?:
Godwit935: Binx, I love women, I endorse them, embrace them,
empower them.
Terms of Endearment:
Creepy Loner: [blank stare]
Creepy Loner: What?
Meet VV/Lima Bean OverDoses:
VintagedVisions: you can call me "W" for short
VintagedVisions: i dont mind.
CordialCactus: lol, i will
CordialCactus: thankyou
Kamperkenii: VV, could you suggest something more terse?
Iuokhon: all those v's reminds of me of when I use to
use multiple ones to depict fangs
Kamperkenii: let's condense that down to 'half V"
VintagedVisions: what Kamp said
VintagedVisions: v <-- terse
Kamperkenii: 1/2v, I'm truly curious on the etymology
of your SN
VintagedVisions: welll ....
VintagedVisions: it's a very long story you see
Kamperkenii: <----looking
CordialCactus: he likes old pinup girls
CordialCactus: wait
VintagedVisions: o
VintagedVisions: ic
CordialCactus: or...
CordialCactus: you collect, antique spectacles
CordialCactus: or... you see things from the past
CordialCactus: or...
VintagedVisions: i came back to find out about the lima beans
CordialCactus: oh
CordialCactus: creepy... your area!
Kamperkenii: everyone got the munchies and ate all the lima beans
Iuokhon: The lima beans are going to be worked into the story
as bar snacks
VintagedVisions: - waiting for story -
Kamperkenii: .5v, prepare for a long wait
CordialCactus: im not the story teller.. im just a catalyst
VintagedVisions: sigh
Kamperkenii: 50/100*v, if you like, I'll make up a story
Iuokhon: Maybe the story could be called "Pot Smoke and
Lima Beans."
VintagedVisions: yes, please.
Kamperkenii: ok, here goes....
Kamperkenii: hmmmm
Kamperkenii: uh, could we change the lima beans to rutabagas?
Kamperkenii: those are more inspiring
VintagedVisions: : shaking head :
CordialCactus: kamp.... lol
Kamperkenii: ok, ok
Kamperkenii: I'll stick with lima beans
VintagedVisions: : laying on tummy :
OnlineHost: Pony crap has entered the room.
Kamperkenii: This story is about Creepy Loner, and how
in her previous career, which shall remain unmentioned,
but hinted at...
CordialCactus: on tummy? feet in the air, kindergarten style?
CordialCactus: cool
VintagedVisions: shhhhh
Kamperkenii: ...would cater to a clientele with the most
esoteric of tastes
CordialCactus: no you shh
Kamperkenii: and when i say 'esoteric', I mean esoteric,
if'n ya get my drift...
CordialCactus: snicker
VintagedVisions: : nodding head :
Kamperkenii: 50% of v, you get my drift
VintagedVisions: yes yes
Kamperkenii: well.......
OnlineHost: Pony crap has left the room.
Kamperkenii: one such 'client' of Creepy's derived a little
more pleasure than is healthy by having his naked buttocks
pelted by lima beans why Creeyp would sing Oh, Canada
VintagedVisions: that has to be the lamest magic lima bean
story i ever heard in my cuber life
DinosoreVagina: how many have you heard?
VintagedVisions: a lot
CordialCactus: lol
DinosoreVagina: ok
Kamperkenii: lol
Iuokhon: it's supposed to be, vintage. That's what makes it amusing
DinosoreVagina: what's the best?
VintagedVisions: i collect them
DinosoreVagina: so, prove it
Kamperkenii: well, v/2 never let me finish the story
DinosoreVagina: lets hear one
VintagedVisions: it is past my bed time
Iuokhon: I want to hear the rest, kamp
Kamperkenii: that was just the warm up to the good parts
CordialCactus: creepy..... you do it.. give V a heartfelt
lima bean story...
Teressahay: how old ru
CordialCactus: the epitome of all lima bean stories!
Kamperkenii: me? 55. you, Teressa?
CordialCactus: i have one...
CordialCactus: wait.. dont go
CordialCactus: ready
VintagedVisions: o
Teressahay: 33
VintagedVisions: mhm
Kamperkenii: you're a young woman, Teressa
CordialCactus: Waiting and watching for awhile.. i seek....
Teressahay: thank u
Kamperkenii: you're the kind of young woman that I approach
in bars and tell lima bean stories to
DinosoreVagina: kenii, was that you?
DinosoreVagina: when did you get out?
Kamperkenii: what, what, Dino?
Creepy Loner: No one approaches me with lima bean stories...
Teressahay: really would u
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
CordialCactus: pondering the unponderable....
when were... who will love lima beans... the way i love lima beans
CordialCactus: where*
Kamperkenii: no, Teressa, I would not. I'm just teasing.
and do NOT believe what Dino says
Iuokhon: That's a good follow up title for the second book
Teressahay: ok
Iuokhon: Love and Lima Beans
Kamperkenii: Creepy, I shall confedt a lima bean story JUST for you
Kamperkenii: I like that, luok
CordialCactus: who will play board games with the same passion...
WHO WILL EAT A CHEESE WHEEL WITH ME!
CordialCactus: the end
Teressahay: u do
CordialCactus: snap snap
Kamperkenii: LOL
VintagedVisions: :::: wild applause :::::
VintagedVisions: :::: flicks my bic :::::::
Creepy Loner: [open weeping]
Kamperkenii: ya, know, I think we pushed 'Cactus over the edge
CordialCactus: i call it
CordialCactus: An Ode to Creeps
Mizzimm: oh my
Teressahay: got a girlfriend
CordialCactus: lol kamp
DinosoreVagina: I am calling the lima bean hotline right now Kenii
DinosoreVagina: help is on the way
Mizzimm: good evening
Creepy Loner: Off of my lima beans, you whores!
Kamperkenii: uh, dino, before you do, let me give you my account number
CordialCactus: hi mizzi
Sbohemiana: So this lima bean walks into a bar...
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
DinosoreVagina: there once was a lima bean from nantucket...
When the Going Gets Tough, Hang Up:
DinosoreVagina: omg, they hung up
DinosoreVagina: what kind of hotline hangs up
Creepy Loner: My kind of hotline does...
Lima Bean Rehab ... and Porn:
Creepy Loner: Surely a lima-lover hung up on you.
Kamperkenii: and yes, there WILL be a next time
DinosoreVagina: ok Kenii, I'll call back
DinosoreVagina: possibly creepy, but I never got to
request a lima bean intervention
DinosoreVagina: perhaps the lima beans were soaked in vodka?
Iuokhon: drinks infused with extract of lima beans
Iuokhon: interesting
Sbohemiana: I just ordered a lima-tini
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
Iuokhon: lima with a twist
DinosoreVagina: no lima beans infused with extracts of alcohol
Kamperkenii: with a twist of lima
Max 314159265358: Just goto bed
CordialCactus: aha
DinosoreVagina: people would eat more vegetables
CordialCactus: thats an idea, dinov
DinosoreVagina: see
CordialCactus: lol Sboh
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Iuokhon: lima beans and moonshine?
CordialCactus: title for a book
Iuokhon: I guess that's book title three.
Kamperkenii: title for someone's autobiography
CordialCactus: Lima Beans and Moonshine
DinosoreVagina: maybe a tv show
CordialCactus: i like it
DinosoreVagina: who can play the lima bean
CordialCactus: the lima bean is just suggested... how about that?
Creepy Loner: [flops back down with coffee]...Max, I can't sleep
while these bitches rape my lovely limas.
Creepy Loner: This is war.
Iuokhon: lol creepy. :D
DinosoreVagina: VV will be a suggestive lima bean?
Creepy Loner: [cracking neck / elbows / fingers / toes]
CordialCactus: lol creepy... it was all for you!
Kamperkenii: see? Creepy just wrote the opening chapter
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Sbohemiana: "My Life as a Pod"
Iuokhon: hmm
DinosoreVagina: Lima bean porn ...
DinosoreVagina: will it never end
Kamperkenii: lol Sb
DinosoreVagina: lol sb
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Iuokhon: The Milagro Lima Bean War, or sometihng
Creepy Loner: I missed that.
Creepy Loner: Keep going.
Kamperkenii: Dino: no
Creepy Loner: Wait...there was lima porn?
Creepy Loner: Let me drop my pants...wait...BRB.
Kamperkenii: ok, Creepy, I shall pick up where I left off....
DinosoreVagina: keni was undressing the bean creep
Iuokhon: Limas in the Outfield
OnlineHost: Gypsyjo47 has entered the room.
DinosoreVagina: so uh
Creepy Loner: Okay! Genitals exposed and ready for a story!
Creepy Loner: Go!
CordialCactus: hiya gypsyjo!
DinosoreVagina: lol
Kamperkenii: ok, now where was I?
Teressahay: hi
DinosoreVagina: hi gypsy
Kamperkenii: Dino?
Gypsyjo47: Cactus****
DinosoreVagina: you had the bean on the counter kenii
Gypsyjo47: Vag***
Max 314159265358: Creep that's not exactly giving an erection
Kamperkenii: oh, that's right, Dino
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
DinosoreVagina: omg he has a knife
Iuokhon: A few irrelevant quotes, like
"What the hell are these lima beans doing in left field!?"
DinosoreVagina: I think it's a snuff film
Kamperkenii: when you say 'bean on the counter', you mean
'bean counter', which means Anais!
DinosoreVagina: kenii, um
Creepy Loner: All right, Max...the truth is that I didn't
move at all. My pants have been off for hours. I'm in my
woobie and a man's dress shirt and really huge socks from
some South American hell...
CordialCactus: which makes me think of anise... which
leads to sausage!
Creepy Loner: Erection back now?
Max 314159265358: No.
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: LOL 'Cactus!
DinosoreVagina: wow now I'm excited creep
Creepy Loner: LOL
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Kamperkenii: well, the conclusion to the story will have to wait
Sbohemiana: what's a woobie?
Kamperkenii: I'm calling it a night
Mizzimm: sausage and beans. now youre talkin'
Max 314159265358: did you wear a tie?
CordialCactus: awww...
Creepy Loner: F*ck...nearly sprayed the computer with coffee
...damn you, Dino.
CordialCactus: night kamp
DinosoreVagina: night kenii
DinosoreVagina: lol creep
Kamperkenii: night all!!
OnlineHost: Kamperkenii has left the room.
Creepy Loner: I didn't wear a tie...no...
DinosoreVagina: keep talkin
DinosoreVagina: what else aren't you wearing?
Max 314159265358: I'm as flacicid as lake placcid
CordialCactus: dinov... if you were saying that out
loud.. would if have delivered in a dry manner
Creepy Loner: Umm...I'm not wearing underwear.
CordialCactus: or a learing manner
DinosoreVagina: hmm
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing a bra.
CordialCactus: the wow part
Creepy Loner: I'm not wearing...
Creepy Loner: Perfume.
DinosoreVagina: well I'm a little nearsighted so it would
have been dry, yet leering
DinosoreVagina: ::fanning self::
CordialCactus: leer lear.. leer..man im sucking at this
spelling crap
Max 314159265358: the wow part the kneecaps not being busted?
DinosoreVagina: are you not wearing, a hat?
Mizzimm: how about a grin, creepy?
CordialCactus: lol dinov
Creepy Loner: I never wear a grin.
Mizzimm: bummer
Creepy Loner: I will wear a smirk now and then.
CordialCactus's Mom is MaryAnn?:
Creepy Loner: How could we work lima beans into a story
about a bartender with a name that gets slurred all over
the place...hmm [pensive chin rub]...
CordialCactus: my mom weeps for me..... im a constant
source of shame
Kamperkenii: hada, mom does not approve so she rips off
'Cactus' stash and smokes i tup to punish her
Iuokhon: maybe it's a werid bar that has lima beans in
containers for bar snacks.
Hadachoke: kenii, i want cordials moms job
CordialCactus: kamp....lol.. my mom would kick your ass
for saying that
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, I believe you about your mom
Creepy Loner: That's what I was thinking Iou...
CordialCactus: she is scary with a wooden spoon
VintagedVisions: : waiting for story :
Creepy Loner: Get rid of the beer nuts...
Kamperkenii: 'Cactus, we know your mom would smoke up your
stash since Mom would never touch 'dirt weed'
Iuokhon: Woman beats child to death with wooden spoon?
Kamperkenii: Cactus, the chat has collectively concluded
that your mom is a bit of a virago
Iuokhon: :D
Iuokhon: That's good
Hadachoke: that's a waste of good Lima Beans
CordialCactus: she once asked me if my husband was a "drug
smoker" i hope he doesnt "smoke that grass"
Hadachoke: your husband just burns fields, right?
Hadachoke: to clear the trash
Hadachoke: ?
Kamperkenii: Dino you still there?
Kamperkenii: you've been quiet. TOO quiet
Iuokhon: Oh, I was laughing at Jam's comment, btw.
Not my wooden spoon remark.
Kamperkenii: something must be afoot
CordialCactus: oh! and she was walking through branson
with her sisters.. and her sisters said.. woof, did you
smell that.. thats pot.. my mom said.. let me smell i want
to smell pot.. and the guy came out and asker her if she
wanted to smoke a
DinosoreVagina: sorry kenii, I was calling Cactus's mom
Hadachoke: sore iis hiding from something
CordialCactus: doobie with him... these things happen
to my 70 yr old mother
CordialCactus: lol dinov!
Kamperkenii: LOL
Kamperkenii: my gawd, that was funny
DinosoreVagina: she said yes right?
Iuokhon: 70 and still considered hip. Interesting.
Hadachoke: of course
DinosoreVagina: didn't maryann just get busted
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. she talks the talk.. but wont
walk the walk.. or .. she has me convinced of that, anyway
Iuokhon: yeah
Iuokhon: dv
DinosoreVagina: wait, that's not your mom is it Cactus?
Kamperkenii: yes she did, Dino
CordialCactus: lol.. no.. thats not my mom
Iuokhon: though supposedly it was not hers
CordialCactus: ha! likely story
DinosoreVagina: right
Kamperkenii: Dino, no newsletter, right?
Jam7604801: hitchhikers is what she said
Iuokhon: I read that some friend of hers claimed
he left in her car.
Going Postal, Hawaiian Style:
Beysshoes: i went to the post office yesterday.
it was a splendid day.
posted by KatyTried | 7:49 PM
1 Comments:
Creeps was unkind calling bidet boring. Creeps should pick on folks her own size ... that is peeps with more than a double digit IQ.
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