FAN MAIL
I received this sweet e-mail message last week:
"Excellent issue of Katy Tried! Nice job!"
.... which caused me to imagine what fan mail might
sound like from the rest of you slackers:
Cordial Cactus: Great Job, Katy!! BRB ... A ginger
snap is calling my name ... and the cat is making
strange noises ... which indicates that the toddler
has gone over the wire
CreepyLoner: (shrug) that didn't suck too bad
Ta21l: I spit tea on myself!! That's OK though,
it's a dark colored shirt.
Beysshoes: OMG OMG, that was so funny ...
'scuze, breezin into a paypa bag here
Bookslut: Binx, Your writings are like Osamu Dasai's
--- before the Decontructionists of course. Your
tone is always sublime if somewhat stupid. By the way,
I have great-looking breasts.
PatientOnion: Your column inspired me to cook
Zinfidel Pork for my naked neighbor. I would
have taken it over to her but how good can it
be with food stamp ingredients and EZ Bake oven?
Godwit: Although I don't understand the purpose
re-posting ephemeral chat room exchanges, I found
nothing in your column to suggest you are less than
a normal male.
IsSheWeird55: BINX!!! Try to catch me driving dirty!!
Anais: Great Column Katy!! It's as if the man in the
boat has been given oars!
SleepEyedEvie: Your column takes directions like a
tennis ball hit off a garage door handle.
Niontron: OK, I won't take this Blog off the net.
But watch it!
AND now the clips -------------
Cordial Cactus blushes:
Lakeshadw: Glo---I mean what is the "essence" of good writing?
Glomawr: that it "moves" me Lake
Lakeshadw: Dearest CC---I want words of wisdom here, from
you"---Yours, Expectantly---M
ManiacEyeball: i know what good writing is, but im not telling
CordialCactus: understandable... with a nice easy flow..
relatable..... if not relatable.. it makes you want to know
more..... so you can relate.... um.... good writing is, in
essence...a coherent intellectual song
CordialCactus: something like that
Melodramamama22: far as i'm concerned, originality and lack of
cliche is tip top on the list tho it doesn't guarantee good
writing
Tallthinjones: good job, cordial
Glomawr: such as a song or a nursery rhyme
Glomawr: lines in a song often get my attention
Lakeshadw: "coherent intellectual song"....wow
CordialCactus: thanks tall
Lakeshadw: CC---that has GOT to bve the best definition I
have ever heard
Lakeshadw: Yours---appreciatively....M.....
CordialCactus: lakes.. gosh..im in a giddy state basking in
the glow of praise
Tallthinjones: you're a genius, cordial
Lakeshadw: CC---it was excellent...truly
CordialCactus: let me copy and paste this and send it to my mom
Ta21l: ok, repeat it please...lol...for those that came late
CordialCactus:
Adorable Accidents:
BooksIut: My boyfriend is adorable.
BooksIut: Once we were wrestling and he "accidently" hit me
in the eye -- so he kissed my black eye bunches.
Creepy Loner: I was wrestling with my ex once and "accidentally"
pants him in front of his friends.
CordialCactus: second date with husband... i accidentally
whacked him hard on the nethers....
The Way of Love:
BooksIut: abed with one's belly on top is to die a martyr of love
BinxB91: Bookslut's boy friend: "can't we just kiss sometime"
Odds and Ends:
BooksIut: I'm going to iron a Harold Ford pic onto my panties.
Anais3233: even if i call you sausage wallet you still like me?
Godwit935: I don't understand why people like talking like this
PatientOnion3: i love the dancng black guys on amy winehouse songs
JFWaterman: I can take apart a remote control- and almost put it
back together.
Anais3233: the wind is coming in my buttflap instead of going out
ManiacEyeball: There was a news story about a seal fucking a king
penguin today in Antarctica.
NIHIT0: and you don't have to be smart or dumb to decide what you
are going to study...
LeslieHapablap: santa monica outlawed styrofoam.
LeslieHapablap: that pleased me.
Origins of Bookshelf Resurgence:
Condorblue: lot of people in the book shelf, is someone
giving away steak knives
BinxB91: Condor, everyone comes to catch the BookSlut Show
Anais3233: no they don't binx, we're all here because they said
you were going to strip for money
Summers Eve L: Wait a damn minute.
Anais3233: ::holding out a paypal account::
Summers Eve L: I heard Binx was stripping for free.
Anais3233: ok, if you're here for the bookslut show, raise your font
BinxB91: I am idly stripping now. Because I haven't changed
from work yet
BooksIut: Binx. I think you give me far too much credit.
Lakeshadw: Book---might do to research the origins of the
Oriental expression for orgasm.."the sun and the clouds"
...just a thought...
Anais3233: if you're here to watch binx strip off his walmart
greeter vest, raise your font
Anais3233: ME!! I AM!
Jennifer Payne: with strategically-placed happy face stickers,
i hope
So There:
Summers Eve L: I think that you are dull, Godwit. I think that
you attempt to make interesting conversation by whining about
not getting the same.
Do You Know Me?:
Anais3233: if people find out you have a lack of self esteem,
pretty soon they are taking advantage of you. midnight steak
and shake runs, buttsex when you're not in the mood, that
sort of thing
Creepy Loner: Anais...you just described my whole life.
Condor Blue? Bleu? Blew?:
Condorblue: I just had a whole boneless chicken at a restaurant
Zenchef2006: what type of restaurant condor?
Condorblue: it was a retro restaurant, quasi fine dining
Jennifer Payne: Entire Chikken Bistro
Zenchef2006: i can debone a whole chicken in under 2 minutes
Jennifer Payne: with your tongue?
CordialCactus: with the chicken intact?
CordialCactus: lol jenn
Condorblue: I thought they had special boneless chickens in
the backyard
Zenchef2006: no cactus, intact would take me about 5
Summers Eve L: Zen. You shouldn't talk so dirty in here.
That's downright racey.
Zenchef2006: jen, well only if the chicken buys me dinner first
Anais Writing Porn:
Anais3233: it's all very sordid and hot, but yeah, me,
godwit and charlie rose
Roz would kick his butt:
NIHIT0: came back from watching Fraiser...
NIHIT0: fraiser shows are boring
You're stupid, no offense:
NIHIT0: I find canadian people more progressive and more
educated than american people
NIHIT0: no offense...
Shooting Animals!?! Tell Me More!:
Nomdujourxx: I watched the Derby today, it was sad that
they had to put that philly down
McLaryn5508: OMG Nom, I cried for half an hour
Godwit935: Nom, how did they do it? Did they shoot the horse
on the track?
Jam7604801: it broke 2 legs what eles could they do
Godwit935: What happened, did the horse run into another horse?
Godwit's Never-Ending Story:
Godwit935: All right, I have a scenario, and I'd like some
opinions on it.
Creepy Loner: [stares at the light of my life]
Creepy Loner: Go on, baby.
Creepy Loner: Do tell.
Godwit935: You go into a grocery store, you order a half pound
of ham at the deli, the guy cuts it and hands it to you, and
says nothing. You say nothing and then he says, "You're welcome."
What do you do?
Creepy Loner: Grin, nod, look at the floor, and beat a
bewildered retreat.
BinxB91: Godwit, deck him
Godwit935: Binx, that is what I felt like doing.
Anais3233: lol you've got issues
Petunia8290: I'd say thank you
Gypsyjo47: Godwit he just sliced your ham for you! Was he
supposed to kiss your ass as well?
CreepyLoner's Mom:
BinxB91: Would your Mom ever call herself something like
"CreepyLoner"?
Creepy Loner: Nah...she'd name herself something like
"StudInPosingPouch" and haunt M4M rooms.
BookSlut Resisting Temptation:
BooksIut: Napsack. I'm reading Wole Soyinka's autobiography.
BooksIut: It's educational -- you learn stuff about African
folklore, but I want to read about houses being blown to
pieces!
BooksIut: I'm temtped to skip right to the stuff on the
Nigerian civil war but I mustn't.
EDruezilla Not Making Trouble ... BOOM:
EDruezillaB: I read the back of the box of Frosted Mini
Wheats today.
EDruezillaB: It sucked. I can't say I recommend it.
BinxB91: ED, you trouble maker!!! Don't act dumb
EDruezillaB: I'm not acting!
EDruezillaB: ...
BinxB91: ah, but Ed, you're attracted to BookShelf, not
StupidCafe
EDruezillaB: Okay. Fine. I laid out and read about
World War I today, happy? I really did. All about President
Wilson (who'se role is very stereotypical in every war..
"la la la la la, we aren't getting involved"
EDruezillaB: "We'll just send our citizens across the
Atlantic and act as if we are "neutral" even though we're
sending supplies and soldiers across the seas... then BOOM!
Never Ask a Question to Which You Don't the Answer:
EDruezillaB: I discussed my propensity to fall apart emotionally
if I drink tonight and also my jealousy at those who are
imbibing tonight with cheer.
EDruezillaB: WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT
The Beginnings Of Addiction:
Anais3233: i know, this is why i can't go to sleep.
i'm afraid someone will say something funny
Hey, I Know That Guy!:
Melodramamama22: somebody got drunk and did some break dancing
at my first wedding
Creepy Loner: Was this person bisexual, male, and wearing
parachute pants?
DisJointed:
Rafo65: Ugly Betty is an inferior version of a German TV show
called Verliebt in Berlin.
BooksIut: Urstinov's depiction of Emperor Nero is hilarious.
Sleepy Eyed Evie: Emperor Nero is on Ugly Betty?
The Discreet One:
NIHIT0: the room became a disaster with all these newbies
(I don't wanna mention any name)
Like a Crucifix to a Vampire:
BooksIut: And I couldn't take her attempt at reconstructing
Jesus' childhood seriously. Couldn't finish it.
I was Going to Use "War and Peace" but ...:
HadleighUS: Rafo65, I'm thinking about writing a short story
entitled "An Uncivil Action" but suspect someone will beat
me to it
If a Tree Falls on YouTube ...:
BooksIut: My professor mentioned a BBC documentary,
"Portrait of a Terrorist" about Mugabe. Have either of you
seen it?
BooksIut: However, I've been unable to find it on Youtube.
Go Dogs Go:
Ordinarymonster: the dogs are beggin for a car ride
EmpressZ21: how do you know they want a carride
EmpressZ21: are they sitting in the car
Ordinarymonster: they carry the keys around in their mouths
Why Dukakis Lost:
KD81785: I remember a time when we had to schedule the
Young Democrats meetings around Wednesday church and Thursday
(or was it Tuesday?) The Cosby Show
Giggling:
BooksIut: The mag that published my crappy short story has a
bunch of porn ads in the back.
Anais3233: (the back pages of magazines are full of tawdry,
trashy ads, in porn mags it's all about phone sex and whores)
EmpressZ21: dear penthouse
EmpressZ21: i never thought this would happen to me....
Anais3233: porn makes the world go round
McLaryn5508: hahaha
Nomdujourxx: up & down anyway
Anais3233: or makes it stickier, whatever
EmpressZ21: :X sorry it was right there
Ugly BookSlut?:
BooksIut: I guess Binx is being mean, again.
BooksIut: I've been on my best behavior, past two days.
EmpressZ21: yeah he really needs new material and insults
Anais3233: it's a good one, you should induldge binx
BinxB91: BookSlut, you're more interested in the rare,
the obscure, the overlooked
BooksIut: Ohh, OK.
KD81785: Than what, Binx?
BinxB91: vice the sensational, the trendy, the current
Ordinarymonster: binx that would be us
BooksIut: I thought you were using some of Thor's material and
calling me ugly.
BinxB91: Bookslut, you are many things, but not ugly
["What kind of music do you play with that thing?" I asked him.
"It's improvised," he said. "I make it up as I go".
"I know what improvised means," I said. "I know this sounds
backward and conservative, but can you control what you do
without being able to revise and polish it later?"
"I try to revise as I go, in the moment," he said, The process
is not all that different from making quote-unquote conventional
kinds of art. You look for the surprising but inevitable in the
chaotic and arbitrary. You try not to be self-indulgent or
obvious, but to take risks and challenge yourself."
"That sounds sort of pat to me," I said, disappointed. "Are
you sure you aren't being pretentious and full of it."
"No", he said thoughtfully.]
Increasing Book Sales:
KD81785: Book, have you read The Thirteenth Tale?
Ordinarymonster: someone just gave me that
KD81785: That's another book that jumped from the shelf and
told me to read it
Women Should Not:
EDruezillaB: Women should not drink when they're sad.
EDruezillaB: It's a mess.
Creepy Loner: Stuff it, Ed.
EDruezillaB: You aren't sad!
Creepy Loner: Oh.
Anais3233: how about women shouldn't be sad
How Bizaare:
Creepy Loner: I remember having some bizarre crying fit when
I was wasted in front of a couple of friends and what may
have been a drug dealer...
Creepy Loner: I'm still unsure about that last detail.
PatientOnion3: did they film it?
Creepy Loner: I don't think so.
PatientOnion3: creepy's bizarre crying fit!
PatientOnion3: on you tube
Taking the Edge Off the Garden:
Lamumsie: I had a glass of wine at Olive Garden
Lamumsie: took the edge off
BookShelf Fun Couple:
Creepy Loner: I would make out with Onion, but I'm too far away.
PatientOnion3: no snogging after sundown
Creepy Loner: Not on the sabbath...hahaha.
PatientOnion3: i have to boil a potato
Anais3233: as penance?
Creepy Loner: We'd be great together, I'm sure...
PatientOnion3: yes, all muslims boil a potato after sundown,
ask rono
Creepy Loner: Distance and poverty will keep us apart.
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
Creepy Loner: I love you, Onion.
PatientOnion3: you're poor and far away?
Creepy Loner: Yeah, pretty much.
PatientOnion3: what happened to the bag of gold in your path?
Creepy Loner: It's still there.
Creepy Loner: I have to wait about two years.
Creepy Loner: Right now I'm poor.
PatientOnion3: two years, you'll be 6'5" by then, you are
growing fast
Creepy Loner: True.
BinxB91: Onion cooks. What will you bring to the relationship?
Creepy Loner: I will bring the after dinner smokes and drinks.
Creepy Loner: And woobie.
BinxB91: I can imagine C'Loner at Onion's house both with the
lights off crunched down trying to get a good view of Onion's
naked neighbor
Lamumsie: that's weird, Binxie
PatientOnion3: she may be pregnant now!!!!!!!!!
Anais3233: in your imagination, are they naked also binx?
PatientOnion3: she's packing a baby
McLaryn5508: you are the floor show anais
Creepy Loner: I'd enjoy a sold rogering from Onion while we spy
on the neighbor.
BinxB91: rogering?
PatientOnion3: and they have a cat that eats the plants
PatientOnion3: they sleep till 3pm
She Moves With Grace and Lightness:
Creepy Loner: Ow...
Creepy Loner: Damn you!
Creepy Loner: Please hold.
Creepy Loner: I have this coffee table...
Creepy Loner: It's wonderful, really...
Creepy Loner: But I have a knack for hitting my toes on its legs.
PatientOnion3: what's it made of?
Creepy Loner: It's oak.
PatientOnion3: no beer or cigarettes burns?
[As I drank my coffee in my newly bare, tidy room, I discovered
that my mind felt unusually alert and orderly, my emotions clear,
my body at ease. Why had I chosen to live in squalor all these
years, purposefully surrounding myself with decay, disorder,
mess, and the unbeautiful leavings of daily life? All I could
figure out by way of explanation was my psyche seemed to have
undergone, in StarTrek parlance, a phase variation, and now for
some reason I felt like living in a clean room instead.]
Look Sharpie:
Summers Eve L: First one to pass out we make up vicious rumors
about and spread them incessantly so that upon entry the next day
they have lots of splainin to do.
Fleurdelochi: ok, lucy
EDruezillaB: First one to pass out get's SHARPIED.
EDruezillaB: why did I make that a contraction?
JFWaterman: You were in the Army, I can tell, Edruezilla.
Are You Guys Being Funny?:
Summers Eve L: I keep spacing out on this room right now.
Are you guys being funny?
Summers Eve L: I hope not. I so don't want to miss a good laugh.
You Said WHAT!!!:
Anais3233: godwit harassed me for a whole night
Anais3233: it's much more fun when he is not here
Anais3233: i like being evil, but he's just annoying
Anais3233: and self righeous
Anais3233: and called me a bad mom the first time i saw him
in a chat room
Anais3233: because i said Fart
EDruezillaB: You said f _ _ _?
Excuse?:
Billw0314: what would you like to candidly discuss, Edru?
EDruezillaB: Everything I type is candid.
Limits:
Summers Eve L: HamsterPanty. I cannot believe that you spoke
of a telegraph from commander ass to general nostril that a
turd was arriving.
Creepy Loner: [looks up]...what the f**k is with the
"hampster panty" thing?
Anais3233: ::beaming::
Creepy Loner: I can't take it anymore.
Summers Eve L: Anais. is. hamsterpanty. hello.
Creepy Loner: Oh no...
Summers Eve L: I WANT YOU TO DRINK
Bookslut Goes Green:
BooksIut: I think I have food poisoning, goodness.
BooksIut: My tummy hurteds.
BooksIut: I'm not certain about food poisoning Bill, but
my stomach is upset.
BooksIut: And my poop was light green.
EDruezillaB: Blech
JFWaterman: Sweet Zombie Jesus, I didn't need to know
that, Slut.
EDruezillaB: I feel damaged as a human because I know what
color Book's poop was.
BooksIut: green poop and stomachaches |
PoopReport.com My poop was the color of this website's banner.
PatientOnion3: book slut, are the photos up on your blog yet?
EDruezillaB: Book, go outside and crawl on all fours and eat
some grass. It helps my dog.
Anais3233: well, this could be the begining of food poisoning
Anais3233: are you feeling nauseated?
BooksIut: Maybe just a visit by Di Uhreea.
BooksIut: Yes.
Anais3233: are your boobs swollen?
Noted:
NIHIT0: I need to be enlightened on the matters that I want!!!
My Little China Girl:
HadleighUS: Bookslut, the girl I was 'pinned' to in college went
on to get her PhD in Asian Studies and taught at Taichung
University and became fluent in Chinese...she and a girlfriend
(whose parents had been missionaries in China and also
PatientOnion3: you pinned her with your big redneck tool?
HadleighUS: spoke fluent Chinese) used to walk down the street
in Beijing speaking Chinese and freaking out the locals (who at
that time hadn't seen many Americans esp. speaking Mandarin and
Cantonese)
BooksIut: This is sort of off topic but there's a really sobering
article in the current issue of the Washington Monthly about
Asian factory workers.
PatientOnion3: they have factories in Asia now?
PatientOnion3: i thought they just made rice and fortune cookies
PatientOnion3: labor is too high, they are moving factories
inwards where the hillbillies are
BooksIut: Hadleigh. What sort of missionary? Catholic?
Hadachoke: books, the air and water pollution is horrendous
PatientOnion3: just like how they located industries to the
halfwit hillbillies in the south, halfwits work cheap
HadleighUS: There are no fortune cookie bakeries in China (true).
I got one once with the insert reading "Help, I'm being held
captive in a fortune cookie factory." (made that up)
PatientOnion3: they fight the wars too, good cannon fodder
HadleighUS: Bookslut, I'm pretty sure Protestant
Max 314159265358: sober?
PatientOnion3: too dumb to figure stuff out
PatientOnion3: jam, we need a poem
Interestingly:
VeritabIe Sexpot: Interestingly, President Clinton was the
first president to publicly apologize for the Tuskegee
syphilis experiments
Besmirching the Works:
Lamumsie: ok I am not familiar with him, I admit..but as far
as Wright is concerned, he threw a big wrench on Obama's
reputation
Binx Being So Funny:
Anais3233: Ok, if you could be anyone in this world, who would
you be? I'd choose LIsa Ling, she's totally got the best job.
BinxB91: Lisa Ling??? what's her job??
Anais3233: She works for National Geographic Channel
Boulshevit: Does she take those nekid pictures I was always do
fond of, Ana?
BinxB91: oh, I thought Lisa Leng worked for the Daily Planet
on a diversity version of Superman
Anais3233: i don't think so
BinxB91: with Aheem Olsen and Perry Black
Anais3233: lol binx!
Leslie Walks In On a Religion Discussion:
LeslieHapablap: ick, jesus freaks.
She's Not Heavy:
Anais3233: dude, this is all to heavy for me. i'm watching
the Bad Girl's Club on Oxygen channel
New Experiences:
Anais3233: tender?
I received this sweet e-mail message last week:
"Excellent issue of Katy Tried! Nice job!"
.... which caused me to imagine what fan mail might
sound like from the rest of you slackers:
Cordial Cactus: Great Job, Katy!! BRB ... A ginger
snap is calling my name ... and the cat is making
strange noises ... which indicates that the toddler
has gone over the wire
CreepyLoner: (shrug) that didn't suck too bad
Ta21l: I spit tea on myself!! That's OK though,
it's a dark colored shirt.
Beysshoes: OMG OMG, that was so funny ...
'scuze, breezin into a paypa bag here
Bookslut: Binx, Your writings are like Osamu Dasai's
--- before the Decontructionists of course. Your
tone is always sublime if somewhat stupid. By the way,
I have great-looking breasts.
PatientOnion: Your column inspired me to cook
Zinfidel Pork for my naked neighbor. I would
have taken it over to her but how good can it
be with food stamp ingredients and EZ Bake oven?
Godwit: Although I don't understand the purpose
re-posting ephemeral chat room exchanges, I found
nothing in your column to suggest you are less than
a normal male.
IsSheWeird55: BINX!!! Try to catch me driving dirty!!
Anais: Great Column Katy!! It's as if the man in the
boat has been given oars!
SleepEyedEvie: Your column takes directions like a
tennis ball hit off a garage door handle.
Niontron: OK, I won't take this Blog off the net.
But watch it!
AND now the clips -------------
Cordial Cactus blushes:
Lakeshadw: Glo---I mean what is the "essence" of good writing?
Glomawr: that it "moves" me Lake
Lakeshadw: Dearest CC---I want words of wisdom here, from
you"---Yours, Expectantly---M
ManiacEyeball: i know what good writing is, but im not telling
CordialCactus: understandable... with a nice easy flow..
relatable..... if not relatable.. it makes you want to know
more..... so you can relate.... um.... good writing is, in
essence...a coherent intellectual song
CordialCactus: something like that
Melodramamama22: far as i'm concerned, originality and lack of
cliche is tip top on the list tho it doesn't guarantee good
writing
Tallthinjones: good job, cordial
Glomawr: such as a song or a nursery rhyme
Glomawr: lines in a song often get my attention
Lakeshadw: "coherent intellectual song"....wow
CordialCactus: thanks tall
Lakeshadw: CC---that has GOT to bve the best definition I
have ever heard
Lakeshadw: Yours---appreciatively....M...
CordialCactus: lakes.. gosh..im in a giddy state basking in
the glow of praise
Tallthinjones: you're a genius, cordial
Lakeshadw: CC---it was excellent...truly
CordialCactus: let me copy and paste this and send it to my mom
Ta21l: ok, repeat it please...lol...for those that came late
CordialCactus:
Adorable Accidents:
BooksIut: My boyfriend is adorable.
BooksIut: Once we were wrestling and he "accidently" hit me
in the eye -- so he kissed my black eye bunches.
Creepy Loner: I was wrestling with my ex once and "accidentally"
pants him in front of his friends.
CordialCactus: second date with husband... i accidentally
whacked him hard on the nethers....
The Way of Love:
BooksIut: abed with one's belly on top is to die a martyr of love
BinxB91: Bookslut's boy friend: "can't we just kiss sometime"
Odds and Ends:
BooksIut: I'm going to iron a Harold Ford pic onto my panties.
Anais3233: even if i call you sausage wallet you still like me?
Godwit935: I don't understand why people like talking like this
PatientOnion3: i love the dancng black guys on amy winehouse songs
JFWaterman: I can take apart a remote control- and almost put it
back together.
Anais3233: the wind is coming in my buttflap instead of going out
ManiacEyeball: There was a news story about a seal fucking a king
penguin today in Antarctica.
NIHIT0: and you don't have to be smart or dumb to decide what you
are going to study...
LeslieHapablap: santa monica outlawed styrofoam.
LeslieHapablap: that pleased me.
Origins of Bookshelf Resurgence:
Condorblue: lot of people in the book shelf, is someone
giving away steak knives
BinxB91: Condor, everyone comes to catch the BookSlut Show
Anais3233: no they don't binx, we're all here because they said
you were going to strip for money
Summers Eve L: Wait a damn minute.
Anais3233: ::holding out a paypal account::
Summers Eve L: I heard Binx was stripping for free.
Anais3233: ok, if you're here for the bookslut show, raise your font
BinxB91: I am idly stripping now. Because I haven't changed
from work yet
BooksIut: Binx. I think you give me far too much credit.
Lakeshadw: Book---might do to research the origins of the
Oriental expression for orgasm.."the sun and the clouds"
...just a thought...
Anais3233: if you're here to watch binx strip off his walmart
greeter vest, raise your font
Anais3233: ME!! I AM!
Jennifer Payne: with strategically-placed happy face stickers,
i hope
So There:
Summers Eve L: I think that you are dull, Godwit. I think that
you attempt to make interesting conversation by whining about
not getting the same.
Do You Know Me?:
Anais3233: if people find out you have a lack of self esteem,
pretty soon they are taking advantage of you. midnight steak
and shake runs, buttsex when you're not in the mood, that
sort of thing
Creepy Loner: Anais...you just described my whole life.
Condor Blue? Bleu? Blew?:
Condorblue: I just had a whole boneless chicken at a restaurant
Zenchef2006: what type of restaurant condor?
Condorblue: it was a retro restaurant, quasi fine dining
Jennifer Payne: Entire Chikken Bistro
Zenchef2006: i can debone a whole chicken in under 2 minutes
Jennifer Payne: with your tongue?
CordialCactus: with the chicken intact?
CordialCactus: lol jenn
Condorblue: I thought they had special boneless chickens in
the backyard
Zenchef2006: no cactus, intact would take me about 5
Summers Eve L: Zen. You shouldn't talk so dirty in here.
That's downright racey.
Zenchef2006: jen, well only if the chicken buys me dinner first
Anais Writing Porn:
Anais3233: it's all very sordid and hot, but yeah, me,
godwit and charlie rose
Roz would kick his butt:
NIHIT0: came back from watching Fraiser...
NIHIT0: fraiser shows are boring
You're stupid, no offense:
NIHIT0: I find canadian people more progressive and more
educated than american people
NIHIT0: no offense...
Shooting Animals!?! Tell Me More!:
Nomdujourxx: I watched the Derby today, it was sad that
they had to put that philly down
McLaryn5508: OMG Nom, I cried for half an hour
Godwit935: Nom, how did they do it? Did they shoot the horse
on the track?
Jam7604801: it broke 2 legs what eles could they do
Godwit935: What happened, did the horse run into another horse?
Godwit's Never-Ending Story:
Godwit935: All right, I have a scenario, and I'd like some
opinions on it.
Creepy Loner: [stares at the light of my life]
Creepy Loner: Go on, baby.
Creepy Loner: Do tell.
Godwit935: You go into a grocery store, you order a half pound
of ham at the deli, the guy cuts it and hands it to you, and
says nothing. You say nothing and then he says, "You're welcome."
What do you do?
Creepy Loner: Grin, nod, look at the floor, and beat a
bewildered retreat.
BinxB91: Godwit, deck him
Godwit935: Binx, that is what I felt like doing.
Anais3233: lol you've got issues
Petunia8290: I'd say thank you
Gypsyjo47: Godwit he just sliced your ham for you! Was he
supposed to kiss your ass as well?
CreepyLoner's Mom:
BinxB91: Would your Mom ever call herself something like
"CreepyLoner"?
Creepy Loner: Nah...she'd name herself something like
"StudInPosingPouch" and haunt M4M rooms.
BookSlut Resisting Temptation:
BooksIut: Napsack. I'm reading Wole Soyinka's autobiography.
BooksIut: It's educational -- you learn stuff about African
folklore, but I want to read about houses being blown to
pieces!
BooksIut: I'm temtped to skip right to the stuff on the
Nigerian civil war but I mustn't.
EDruezilla Not Making Trouble ... BOOM:
EDruezillaB: I read the back of the box of Frosted Mini
Wheats today.
EDruezillaB: It sucked. I can't say I recommend it.
BinxB91: ED, you trouble maker!!! Don't act dumb
EDruezillaB: I'm not acting!
EDruezillaB: ...
BinxB91: ah, but Ed, you're attracted to BookShelf, not
StupidCafe
EDruezillaB: Okay. Fine. I laid out and read about
World War I today, happy? I really did. All about President
Wilson (who'se role is very stereotypical in every war..
"la la la la la, we aren't getting involved"
EDruezillaB: "We'll just send our citizens across the
Atlantic and act as if we are "neutral" even though we're
sending supplies and soldiers across the seas... then BOOM!
Never Ask a Question to Which You Don't the Answer:
EDruezillaB: I discussed my propensity to fall apart emotionally
if I drink tonight and also my jealousy at those who are
imbibing tonight with cheer.
EDruezillaB: WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT
The Beginnings Of Addiction:
Anais3233: i know, this is why i can't go to sleep.
i'm afraid someone will say something funny
Hey, I Know That Guy!:
Melodramamama22: somebody got drunk and did some break dancing
at my first wedding
Creepy Loner: Was this person bisexual, male, and wearing
parachute pants?
DisJointed:
Rafo65: Ugly Betty is an inferior version of a German TV show
called Verliebt in Berlin.
BooksIut: Urstinov's depiction of Emperor Nero is hilarious.
Sleepy Eyed Evie: Emperor Nero is on Ugly Betty?
The Discreet One:
NIHIT0: the room became a disaster with all these newbies
(I don't wanna mention any name)
Like a Crucifix to a Vampire:
BooksIut: And I couldn't take her attempt at reconstructing
Jesus' childhood seriously. Couldn't finish it.
I was Going to Use "War and Peace" but ...:
HadleighUS: Rafo65, I'm thinking about writing a short story
entitled "An Uncivil Action" but suspect someone will beat
me to it
If a Tree Falls on YouTube ...:
BooksIut: My professor mentioned a BBC documentary,
"Portrait of a Terrorist" about Mugabe. Have either of you
seen it?
BooksIut: However, I've been unable to find it on Youtube.
Go Dogs Go:
Ordinarymonster: the dogs are beggin for a car ride
EmpressZ21: how do you know they want a carride
EmpressZ21: are they sitting in the car
Ordinarymonster: they carry the keys around in their mouths
Why Dukakis Lost:
KD81785: I remember a time when we had to schedule the
Young Democrats meetings around Wednesday church and Thursday
(or was it Tuesday?) The Cosby Show
Giggling:
BooksIut: The mag that published my crappy short story has a
bunch of porn ads in the back.
Anais3233: (the back pages of magazines are full of tawdry,
trashy ads, in porn mags it's all about phone sex and whores)
EmpressZ21: dear penthouse
EmpressZ21: i never thought this would happen to me....
Anais3233: porn makes the world go round
McLaryn5508: hahaha
Nomdujourxx: up & down anyway
Anais3233: or makes it stickier, whatever
EmpressZ21: :X sorry it was right there
Ugly BookSlut?:
BooksIut: I guess Binx is being mean, again.
BooksIut: I've been on my best behavior, past two days.
EmpressZ21: yeah he really needs new material and insults
Anais3233: it's a good one, you should induldge binx
BinxB91: BookSlut, you're more interested in the rare,
the obscure, the overlooked
BooksIut: Ohh, OK.
KD81785: Than what, Binx?
BinxB91: vice the sensational, the trendy, the current
Ordinarymonster: binx that would be us
BooksIut: I thought you were using some of Thor's material and
calling me ugly.
BinxB91: Bookslut, you are many things, but not ugly
["What kind of music do you play with that thing?" I asked him.
"It's improvised," he said. "I make it up as I go".
"I know what improvised means," I said. "I know this sounds
backward and conservative, but can you control what you do
without being able to revise and polish it later?"
"I try to revise as I go, in the moment," he said, The process
is not all that different from making quote-unquote conventional
kinds of art. You look for the surprising but inevitable in the
chaotic and arbitrary. You try not to be self-indulgent or
obvious, but to take risks and challenge yourself."
"That sounds sort of pat to me," I said, disappointed. "Are
you sure you aren't being pretentious and full of it."
"No", he said thoughtfully.]
Increasing Book Sales:
KD81785: Book, have you read The Thirteenth Tale?
Ordinarymonster: someone just gave me that
KD81785: That's another book that jumped from the shelf and
told me to read it
Women Should Not:
EDruezillaB: Women should not drink when they're sad.
EDruezillaB: It's a mess.
Creepy Loner: Stuff it, Ed.
EDruezillaB: You aren't sad!
Creepy Loner: Oh.
Anais3233: how about women shouldn't be sad
How Bizaare:
Creepy Loner: I remember having some bizarre crying fit when
I was wasted in front of a couple of friends and what may
have been a drug dealer...
Creepy Loner: I'm still unsure about that last detail.
PatientOnion3: did they film it?
Creepy Loner: I don't think so.
PatientOnion3: creepy's bizarre crying fit!
PatientOnion3: on you tube
Taking the Edge Off the Garden:
Lamumsie: I had a glass of wine at Olive Garden
Lamumsie: took the edge off
BookShelf Fun Couple:
Creepy Loner: I would make out with Onion, but I'm too far away.
PatientOnion3: no snogging after sundown
Creepy Loner: Not on the sabbath...hahaha.
PatientOnion3: i have to boil a potato
Anais3233: as penance?
Creepy Loner: We'd be great together, I'm sure...
PatientOnion3: yes, all muslims boil a potato after sundown,
ask rono
Creepy Loner: Distance and poverty will keep us apart.
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
Creepy Loner: I love you, Onion.
PatientOnion3: you're poor and far away?
Creepy Loner: Yeah, pretty much.
PatientOnion3: what happened to the bag of gold in your path?
Creepy Loner: It's still there.
Creepy Loner: I have to wait about two years.
Creepy Loner: Right now I'm poor.
PatientOnion3: two years, you'll be 6'5" by then, you are
growing fast
Creepy Loner: True.
BinxB91: Onion cooks. What will you bring to the relationship?
Creepy Loner: I will bring the after dinner smokes and drinks.
Creepy Loner: And woobie.
BinxB91: I can imagine C'Loner at Onion's house both with the
lights off crunched down trying to get a good view of Onion's
naked neighbor
Lamumsie: that's weird, Binxie
PatientOnion3: she may be pregnant now!!!!!!!!!
Anais3233: in your imagination, are they naked also binx?
PatientOnion3: she's packing a baby
McLaryn5508: you are the floor show anais
Creepy Loner: I'd enjoy a sold rogering from Onion while we spy
on the neighbor.
BinxB91: rogering?
PatientOnion3: and they have a cat that eats the plants
PatientOnion3: they sleep till 3pm
She Moves With Grace and Lightness:
Creepy Loner: Ow...
Creepy Loner: Damn you!
Creepy Loner: Please hold.
Creepy Loner: I have this coffee table...
Creepy Loner: It's wonderful, really...
Creepy Loner: But I have a knack for hitting my toes on its legs.
PatientOnion3: what's it made of?
Creepy Loner: It's oak.
PatientOnion3: no beer or cigarettes burns?
[As I drank my coffee in my newly bare, tidy room, I discovered
that my mind felt unusually alert and orderly, my emotions clear,
my body at ease. Why had I chosen to live in squalor all these
years, purposefully surrounding myself with decay, disorder,
mess, and the unbeautiful leavings of daily life? All I could
figure out by way of explanation was my psyche seemed to have
undergone, in StarTrek parlance, a phase variation, and now for
some reason I felt like living in a clean room instead.]
Look Sharpie:
Summers Eve L: First one to pass out we make up vicious rumors
about and spread them incessantly so that upon entry the next day
they have lots of splainin to do.
Fleurdelochi: ok, lucy
EDruezillaB: First one to pass out get's SHARPIED.
EDruezillaB: why did I make that a contraction?
JFWaterman: You were in the Army, I can tell, Edruezilla.
Are You Guys Being Funny?:
Summers Eve L: I keep spacing out on this room right now.
Are you guys being funny?
Summers Eve L: I hope not. I so don't want to miss a good laugh.
You Said WHAT!!!:
Anais3233: godwit harassed me for a whole night
Anais3233: it's much more fun when he is not here
Anais3233: i like being evil, but he's just annoying
Anais3233: and self righeous
Anais3233: and called me a bad mom the first time i saw him
in a chat room
Anais3233: because i said Fart
EDruezillaB: You said f _ _ _?
Excuse?:
Billw0314: what would you like to candidly discuss, Edru?
EDruezillaB: Everything I type is candid.
Limits:
Summers Eve L: HamsterPanty. I cannot believe that you spoke
of a telegraph from commander ass to general nostril that a
turd was arriving.
Creepy Loner: [looks up]...what the f**k is with the
"hampster panty" thing?
Anais3233: ::beaming::
Creepy Loner: I can't take it anymore.
Summers Eve L: Anais. is. hamsterpanty. hello.
Creepy Loner: Oh no...
Summers Eve L: I WANT YOU TO DRINK
Bookslut Goes Green:
BooksIut: I think I have food poisoning, goodness.
BooksIut: My tummy hurteds.
BooksIut: I'm not certain about food poisoning Bill, but
my stomach is upset.
BooksIut: And my poop was light green.
EDruezillaB: Blech
JFWaterman: Sweet Zombie Jesus, I didn't need to know
that, Slut.
EDruezillaB: I feel damaged as a human because I know what
color Book's poop was.
BooksIut: green poop and stomachaches |
PoopReport.com My poop was the color of this website's banner.
PatientOnion3: book slut, are the photos up on your blog yet?
EDruezillaB: Book, go outside and crawl on all fours and eat
some grass. It helps my dog.
Anais3233: well, this could be the begining of food poisoning
Anais3233: are you feeling nauseated?
BooksIut: Maybe just a visit by Di Uhreea.
BooksIut: Yes.
Anais3233: are your boobs swollen?
Noted:
NIHIT0: I need to be enlightened on the matters that I want!!!
My Little China Girl:
HadleighUS: Bookslut, the girl I was 'pinned' to in college went
on to get her PhD in Asian Studies and taught at Taichung
University and became fluent in Chinese...she and a girlfriend
(whose parents had been missionaries in China and also
PatientOnion3: you pinned her with your big redneck tool?
HadleighUS: spoke fluent Chinese) used to walk down the street
in Beijing speaking Chinese and freaking out the locals (who at
that time hadn't seen many Americans esp. speaking Mandarin and
Cantonese)
BooksIut: This is sort of off topic but there's a really sobering
article in the current issue of the Washington Monthly about
Asian factory workers.
PatientOnion3: they have factories in Asia now?
PatientOnion3: i thought they just made rice and fortune cookies
PatientOnion3: labor is too high, they are moving factories
inwards where the hillbillies are
BooksIut: Hadleigh. What sort of missionary? Catholic?
Hadachoke: books, the air and water pollution is horrendous
PatientOnion3: just like how they located industries to the
halfwit hillbillies in the south, halfwits work cheap
HadleighUS: There are no fortune cookie bakeries in China (true).
I got one once with the insert reading "Help, I'm being held
captive in a fortune cookie factory." (made that up)
PatientOnion3: they fight the wars too, good cannon fodder
HadleighUS: Bookslut, I'm pretty sure Protestant
Max 314159265358: sober?
PatientOnion3: too dumb to figure stuff out
PatientOnion3: jam, we need a poem
Interestingly:
VeritabIe Sexpot: Interestingly, President Clinton was the
first president to publicly apologize for the Tuskegee
syphilis experiments
Besmirching the Works:
Lamumsie: ok I am not familiar with him, I admit..but as far
as Wright is concerned, he threw a big wrench on Obama's
reputation
Binx Being So Funny:
Anais3233: Ok, if you could be anyone in this world, who would
you be? I'd choose LIsa Ling, she's totally got the best job.
BinxB91: Lisa Ling??? what's her job??
Anais3233: She works for National Geographic Channel
Boulshevit: Does she take those nekid pictures I was always do
fond of, Ana?
BinxB91: oh, I thought Lisa Leng worked for the Daily Planet
on a diversity version of Superman
Anais3233: i don't think so
BinxB91: with Aheem Olsen and Perry Black
Anais3233: lol binx!
Leslie Walks In On a Religion Discussion:
LeslieHapablap: ick, jesus freaks.
She's Not Heavy:
Anais3233: dude, this is all to heavy for me. i'm watching
the Bad Girl's Club on Oxygen channel
New Experiences:
Anais3233: tender?
posted by KatyTried | 5:25 PM
1 Comments:
Good one.
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