THE CORRECTIONS:
Austin, not Austen/Memphis, not Nashville/
gentle, not rough/gains, not losses


XENOPHOBIA to the MAX!:
Zenchef2006: beyssss, como esta mija??
Beysshoes: mondo cane` zen. sigh
Beysshoes: y'tu meijo?
Zenchef2006: mas o menos dulcinea
Beysshoes: menos` mal entendu zen
Zenchef2006: awww gracias
PatientOnion3: jam is beside himself, a room filled with
asians speaking spanish


Dan Quayle meets Lou Dobbs:
Lilly Carden: It's sort of like a potatoe masher only totally
different
FoodSIut: mexicans have a bean masher that i use on potatoes


I Have a Thesis:
JFWaterman: No, KD, Michelle's thesis speaks for itself- I was
just speaking for my self unrelated to her thesis.
Rafo65: JF.. I wouldn't even read my OWN thesis without a gun
to my head.. who cares?

BookSlut Testing Another Screen Name:
B00KGASM: Jeez. And here I thought "sexforbooks" was clever.

Racing Dukaksis's Tank?:
SemiLitterate: In 1988 Clinton was still rolling around in his
Astroturf lined pickup truck

Eve L Kinevil:
Summers Eve L: I'm gonna have me a whole messa 'ritas. Bet.


Gratitude:
Is She Weird 55: you got me through senior year, thank you

God Is Watching Us All:
Is She Weird 55: i am watching you idiots chat amongst
yourselves while i get ready to sleep


Summers Hulk L:

Summers Eve L: Does anyone else immediately get irked when
someone says to you: "Ok. I have to tell you something,
but you have to promise not to get mad."
Catpower777: Summer I never want to hear those words
Catpower777: and I usually ask if it will hurt my feelings
Pablo Bigasso: or, "promise not to tell anyone else"
SemiLitterate: Two people can keep a secret----if one of
them is dead
DinosoreVagina: oh.. that's never a good sign summer
DinosoreVagina: don't make the promise
DinosoreVagina: they'll tell you anyway
Summers Eve L: Oh I never make the promise. I'm always like
too late
Summers Eve L: Nowdays it's hurry up and tell me because you
have five seconds before Hulk arrives.


Judy Blume/Gentle-Rough/Sandra Oh/Asian Fetish:

Summers Eve L: Did anyone ever read that novel by Judy Blume
she wrote 5 or 6 years ago? It was adult fiction.
BinxB91: Judy Blume ...
Summers Eve L: I was such a fan of her books as a teen.
Summers Eve L: Or pre-teen.
DinosoreVagina: I think I did..
DinosoreVagina: but I loved her when I was a kid
DinosoreVagina: so, it was nostalgic in a way
Summers Eve L: SuperFudge and Tales of 4th Grade Nothing.
I'm sorry but they are hysterical
BinxB91: You were a fan of Judy Blume? And you grew into
a Roller Derby girl?
Summers Eve L: How does that conflict?
DinosoreVagina: oh I think I read tales of a fourth grade
nothing five times
BinxB91: uhm ... gentleness and roughness?
Summers Eve L: The biggest thing about me I think is my
attitude and a big part of that attitude is my sense of
humor.
Summers Eve L: I did not know that Judy Blume is the
equivalent of gentleness?
DinosoreVagina: I wouldn't equate her with gentleness
BinxB91: a reader of Judy Blume is usually a gentle soul
BinxB91: Eve, did you see the movie Sideways?
Summers Eve L: Yes, Encyclopedia Brown. I did.
Summers Eve L: Well, I like to break your impressions of the norm.
DinosoreVagina: a reader of Judy Blume is usually a young girl
BinxB91: The Sandra Oh character with the motorcyle helmet?
DinosoreVagina: most of us start out without rabies
DinosoreVagina: it's men that make us that way
Summers Eve L: Yes?
BinxB91: ... after she's done smashing her lover's face with
the motorcycle helmet
BinxB91: she bursts into tears
BinxB91: Both rough and gentle
FoodSIut: Binx has an asian woman fetish
BinxB91: It's OK to be both
BinxB91: Sandra Oh was both hot and a victim in that movie
BinxB91: I was glad she broke his nose
FoodSIut: he wants to put a wig and lipstick on rono
FoodSIut: and go to town
BinxB91: Onion, yuck
FoodSIut: sandra was sleeping with the director. He also had
an asian woman fetish
BinxB91: Sandra's husband WAS the director
FoodSIut: seeeeeeee!
FoodSIut: i was right

[I preferred walking the streets very early in the cool
morning as Sikh bank guards were eating sweet barfi and
drinking their beloved cow's milk in the street. The rain
trees were lovely, all of Jalan Treacher heavy with green
leaves and yellow flowers. Only the sight of a boy cutting
a banana tree reminded me that, three years before, the
gentle inhabitants of Kampong Baru had been butchering
their Chinese neighbours. Blood had run along those deep
drains beside which I now walked.]


Odds and Ends:

Summers Eve L: I hate the Andy Griffith Show. It makes
me feel violent.

Is She Weird 55: i have no desire to get a PHd

DinosoreVagina: no one is happy in michigan
DinosoreVagina: but there are mostly meat eaters

CordialCactus: ok.. perspiration is beading on my clavicle

Treeluva: this is either going to be depressing or the
best party ever.

NoraMcKee525: i like emmylou harris hair

B00KGASM: Pablo. Are you familiar with Vladmir Clavijo-Telepnev's
Alice in Wonderland project?

Max 314159265358: It's Wednesday yet I want fishsticks

FoodSIut: damn earthquakes and fires!




The Cockroach Saga:

B00KGASM: Nine days is not enough time, I know from experience,
in which to suffocate a roach. So the one I caught under the
rubber cup of my plunger faces at least a ten-day confinement.
B00KGASM: Earlier while tinkling, I leaned forward to grout the
rim of rubber with toothpaste.
B00KGASM: This room lacks the sort of subtle/savvy front-lobe
antics most other rooms are also lacking.
EmpressZ21: the palmettos are different from roaches
Melodramamama22: well it looked like a roach
Summers Eve L: The palmettos are hideous.
Melodramamama22: sort of a cross between a roach and a mouse
Nomdujourxx: close enough for me, Melo
Melodramamama22: enormous thing
Nomdujourxx: Our exterminator says they are different, but they
still look like roaches to me
Melodramamama22: yes they damn well do nom


Avoid Shitty Movies:

B00KGASM: I usually avoid sh*tty movies, Lynn.
B00KGASM: So no worries.
B00KGASM: Okay.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Its a bit unnerving Book, which makes it
effective... not S**ty
B00KGASM: I mean, it must be terribly depressing to be in the
forced presence of someone constantly cognating for the sheer
f**k of it.
Melodramamama22: cognating?
Nomdujourxx: cogitating
Melodramamama22: if that means drinking cognac, i'm all over it
B00KGASM: Cognating.
B00KGASM: Laughs, Melo.
MsVictoriaLynn1: Cogitating
PatientOnion3: Melo caughter her first husband constantly cognating
when he said he was staying late at work
B00KGASM: I meant what I typed.
Melodramamama22: i know, onion. worse, he was cognating on the
golf course
MsVictoriaLynn1: unless you are doing something that's illegal
in most states Book
MsVictoriaLynn1: Melo...?
Melodramamama22: yes?
PatientOnion3: he thought he was tiger woods
Melodramamama22: he still think he tiger woods.
MsVictoriaLynn1: wasn't Bill Murray doing that when he was washing
golf balls in CAddy Shack?
Melodramamama22: well! i believe he was!
B00KGASM: Like I said, Lynn. I avoid sh*tty movies. There's really
no point in trying to dissuade me re: Tales From The Crypt.


Cogitate:

MsVictoriaLynn1: Hmmm.... Maybe Book IS Cognating then....;)
Nomdujourxx: If you were think of your ancestors, Book, you
might be right, but deep thought is cogitate (I looked it up)
Melodramamama22: i have to go to dictionary.com
Melodramamama22: b r b
Summers Eve L: Yes, Larue. When you were talking about weiner dogs.
You said "beady eyes, pointy teeth"
MsVictoriaLynn1: I'm not dissuading you Book, I was poking
fun at you but you were too busy cognating to notice
PatientOnion3: I know how to cognate verbs
PatientOnion3: i read, she reads, they read
Melodramamama22: book! there is no cognating
Melodramamama22: i mean, i know that what you've been trying
to say and all
Melodramamama22: but there really srsly ain't no cognating
anywhere in the world!
B00KGASM: Sigh.
B00KGASM: A play on words, Melo, along the lines of your witty
retort above.
PatientOnion3: cows cognate, they have two stomachs,
one for books, one for movies
Melodramamama22: they put webinar into the dictionary, which i
think is a travesty
CordialCactus: oh, dont get me wrong, it was hilarious, i
just think its even funnier that you made that association
CordialCactus: oh! how was the pork loin, beans and taters?
Summers Eve L: It's a funny place in my brain.
Summers Eve L: It was DEELISH!!
PatientOnion3: book slut is in a good mood, she's playing with words
MsVictoriaLynn1: and a small spot in their intestine for
DVD's and VHS tapes
PatientOnion3: and cheese and cream
Melodramamama22: onion, if i move in will you feed me spotted
dick and tarts?
Melodramamama22: hopefully there will be some cognating on the
back deck too
B00KGASM: Cognating'll be the word of the day.
Melodramamama22: we have all been decognitized
MsVictoriaLynn1: Hmmm.... if you don't drink cognac, or haven't
any handy, is it OK to armagnate?



EVERYBODY LOVES BEYSSHOES - the 2nd Season:

Sweet Disorder 2: Vicky, love is love...unconditional comes
in many ways.
Fleurdelochi: even fake?
Beysshoes: yes mostly fake
DinosoreVagina: ok fake love.. that comes in many ways too
MsVictoriaLynn1: check your spam file Beys


ZOEaudra: why is gender so important to you? beyho
Beysshoes: whY? why??? cus i need medical insurance
you rude freakass
Beysshoes: i thought you didn't care about no gender zoe? you liarliarpantiesorbriefsonfire
ZOEaudra: who is david is not a gender question, you half fried
instant noodle doused in refried oil



ParaMyrrh: she sells heart, she sells meat Oh Dad, she's
driving me mad, come see
Beysshoes: is that a song david?
Catpower777: no it's his poem about you, Bey
Beysshoes: cat why do you have to ruin my present?
ParaMyrrh: we shake shake shake to the trumpet and through the
slippery city we ride, skyline swine on the circuit where all
the people shake their money in time
Beysshoes: dont get so jealous kitty

Beysshoes: 'twas a funny you mojolessfreaks
Fleurdelochi: beys, i left my mojo in my other pants. sorry


Catpower777: ok, I'll try to contain it, Bey
ZOEaudra: get a room, da ho and the paranuts
ParaMyrrh: high in the city where the clouds wipe the angel's
asses and stain the snow
Beysshoes: para, are you force feeding me your poetry cus i
didn't go to your site?


Beysshoes: ms vicky, i'll pay to have the tutu repaired. okay?
MsVictoriaLynn1: OK Beys
Zenchef2006: ripped tutu?? forget it i dont wanna know
Beysshoes: ha zen. 'twas her hubert humphry special.
i got overly excited
Zenchef2006: beys, think about baseball, works for me


ParaMyrrh: I am all for suicide I think people should be
allowed to change their genitals if they want I just think
it's sick
MsVictoriaLynn1: Para, you are a sorry little man with
delusions of adequacy, I tolerate you out of pity
ParaMyrrh: not morally but aesthetically and emotionally
ParaMyrrh: I am against hysterectomies too
ParaMyrrh: but for clitorectomies for the purpose of hygiene
Beysshoes: you dont get to say what anybody does with their
bodies you power and control freak







Fuck Yourself:

Creepy Loner: I'm indifferent to my genitals...well, I'm happy
that nothing's gone horribly wrong with them...other than
that...
Creepy Loner: [shrug]
PatientOnion3: genitals as in plural? how many do you have?
Jam7604801: or no fruit
Creepy Loner: Two.
PatientOnion3: that explains it
ParaMyrrh: Patient I consider my anus a sexual organ and my
mouth and my fingers
Creepy Loner: Three if I really like you.
PatientOnion3: i barely have one, and you have two
PatientOnion3: and three for special occasions!


The Beloved ParaMyrrh:

Yossarian4now: para is a dude??
MsVictoriaLynn1: Para, I would never recommend gender surgery for you
MsVictoriaLynn1: A Lobotomy YES... but never gender surgery
Catpower777: maybe Onion could perform it
ParaMyrrh: Ms I think Gender surgery is akin to nazi experimentation
for a doctor to practice it on a person is simply his desire for
profit and not trying to help a person
MsVictoriaLynn1: So the Lobotomy is still an option para?


The Grand Illusion = Creepy's Date:

PatientOnion3: creepy is back from her date. are you gonna
kiss & tell?
Creepy Loner: What do you want to know, Onion?
Creepy Loner: I'll tell you all.
PatientOnion3: what kind of cuisine was at the restaurant he
took you to?
Creepy Loner: Smoked turkey and swiss cheese.
Creepy Loner: And beer.
PatientOnion3: okay, that's all I need to know, now i can
go M*sturbate
Creepy Loner: [rolling tongue around lewdly at Onion]
PatientOnion3: i can see the mayo on your tongue creepy
Creepy Loner: I'm f**kin' with all of you, of course. I think
I'd die before go on a date...
PatientOnion3: now i gotta put away the V*SELINE


I Know How a Caged Bird Tastes:

PatientOnion3: maya angelou came over tonight and gave me her
tamale recipe
MsVictoriaLynn1: very nice
Creepy Loner: [salute]
MsVictoriaLynn1: :-*
ParaMyrrh: Un Coup de Des
PatientOnion3: it was totally effed up, way too much masa, she
should stick to literature and leave the cooking to me



"homosexual music rules":

ParaMyrrh: we kiss all over the lips like pain we got a
lot of electricity
ParaMyrrh: I said oh it's bigger than the universe bigger
than the two of us
Creepy Loner: *Relax / Frankie Goes To Hollywood*
ParaMyrrh: we gotta love like a fallen home
PatientOnion3: homosexual music rules
Creepy Loner: [dancing around Onion]


Ships Passing in the Night:
ParaMyrrh: I am happy with my genitals
PatientOnion3: darn wife
PatientOnion3: drunk again, tripped over the modem


Tease Me, Please Me:

PatientOnion3: zoe, A lack of experience does not disqualify
you as long as you have a sincere interest in pleasing me.
ZOEaudra: onion, why not go wax your ass?
ZOEaudra: cough
PatientOnion3: zoe, don't stop
ParaMyrrh: I like Onion he's my homey
ZOEaudra: what if my name is hank?
Jam7604801: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth
with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination:
they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be
upon them.
PatientOnion3: you wax mine, i'll wax yours
Creepy Loner: You can wax my ass, Onion.
PatientOnion3: it's already naired


Trump Me:

Beysshoes: vicky?
MsVictoriaLynn1: Yes Beys?
Beysshoes: why try to force feed the idjits any sense?
ParaMyrrh: Bey don't underestimate idiots they built the
Great Pyramids
Beysshoes: theyz ignorant ms vicky
Beysshoes: truism para can always trump me


[When I was a writer, I had to explain over and over again
that my fiction was not based on my life. People never
believed me. No one ever asked me if my life was based
on my fiction.]


THAT'S a Saying?:

ParaMyrrh: I like to pop the huge zits my girlfriend
gets on her ass
ParaMyrrh: it's sexay
Beysshoes: dont you let your gf bathe para?
ParaMyrrh: remember the saying "the prettiest girl in class,
has a pimple on her ass"?


Those Were the Days:

ParaMyrrh: Creepy wasn't it fun popping them why can't
people admit they like doing that?
Beysshoes: my gf and i used to send popped zits to each other
in hs in the mail
Beysshoes: true friendship
Beysshoes: her name is marvi. i still love her.
Creepy Loner: [sniffle]
Creepy Loner: Oh, wonderful times.


Why High Schools Have Security Guards:

Creepy Loner: I need a new zit-coated victim...I'll visit
the local high schools tomorrow.
Beysshoes: now why you gots to scare me like that creeps?
Creepy Loner: Come on...there's nothing scary about the
thought of me roaming the halls of a high school looking
for people with severe acne.




Denial:
Summers Eve L: I am not a stinky earth loving patchouli wearing
dred having dead following hippy.


Short-Lived:

FoodSIut: jasper, how was your hot date tonight?
Fleurdelochi: was jasper tammy's hot date?
Fleurdelochi: ooooo
Tammynet: it was a secret until my pal Onion got involved
FoodSIut: they were sitting in a coffee shop, and they were
both reading the SAME book, the Deli of Dakar
Beysshoes: tamela. enough about them. tell us about your
fornication with jaspar please
Tammynet: Well Beys it was short lived
Beysshoes: premie ejac tamela?
Tammynet: even before i got there



No Other Way:
Ridoyvogno: you must look at my blog...I have no other way to
show my talent


Blurting Out Poetry During Sex:
Anais3233: no, i got some this afternoon
Anais3233: and this morning
Summers Eve L: Stinky sex.
Summers Eve L: hahaha
Anais3233: old age will burn and rage at close of day
Anais3233: rage, rage against the dying of the light, do not go
gentle into that good night
Catpower777: I believe everything Anais says...after all, she
even reports her half shags


Great Couples:
NoraMcKee525: i have a great book about dylan thomas and
whasser name and sylvia plath and whasisname and um...
NoraMcKee525: it's called passionat lives
NoraMcKee525: shhhh cat It is "he who must not be named
NoraMcKee525: ok henry and june ansd anais/caitlin and
dylan/sylvia and ::AHEM::/scott and zelda/
dh lawrence and frieda
Catpower777: she left out Sonny and Cher


Rono Rocks:
Ridoyvogno: binky am I making you cry...
BinxB91: Yes, Rono, I am bored to tears


Ohio Tourist Spots:

PatientOnion3: northern ohio, they used to have a haunted
house ride where you could get serious petting done
Creepy Loner: No, no...Northern Ohio is better than Southern.
Is She Weird 55: ohio is only beautiful in the cuyahoga
national park and valley during the fall
NoraMcKee525: what was it pat?
DinosoreVagina: seriously haunted petting?
Creepy Loner: The real Deliverance monsters are in Southern Ohio.
Creepy Loner: "You got a real purdy mouth."


Let's Stay Together:

Catpower777: Hillary where is the bf going to school?
Is She Weird 55: akron univ
Creepy Loner: Well, there goes that relationship.
Is She Weird 55: no wayyyy we're staying together six hours away



True That!:
Ridoyvogno: negative and angry pepole never realise that they
are making it worse for themselves...

Hillary Not Getting Any:
Is She Weird 55: wow... i am getting nothing for four years
because my parents say loyola = four years of brithday presents


A Bengali Christmas Story:
Ridoyvogno: I will threaten or smash whomever I want
Ridoyvogno: I want you to do something about it...
Ridoyvogno: binx, you are a man enough?
Ridoyvogno: you little inseet...
BinxB91: do something about it??
Is She Weird 55: what is inseet?
Ridoyvogno: and you are a hulk man
Anais3233: it's like leg wrestling
Ta21l: why don't you just say the words Rono..."I double dog dare you"

Vocabulary Builder:
ParaMyrrh: Creepy I pity Rono He's lonely, angry and
feels so puerile

The Impressionable Hillary:
Is She Weird 55: i am gonna type like rono for a while
Is She Weird 55: hit me binxy..! you hulk! go buy some camera
and take pic of me! you no strong
Is She Weird 55: BINKY!

Rono's Side Kick?:
BIDET LIVES: i have come to further ruin the shelf

Make Me, Muslim!:
PatientOnion3: rono, pot calling the kettle black, you short
fat angry pest you
Ridoyvogno: shut up, jewish

Know Thyself:
Ridoyvogno: i get along very well with online people..

Shelf Memories:
Hadachoke: is ridoyo = Rono?
Creepy Loner: Indeed, Hada.
Hadachoke: shit


Dr Seuss Rono Style:
Ridoyvogno: harassing is sam


Performance Artist?:
CordialCactus: back... i found my son on the top bunk with
pudding and no spoon


... or She Took the Wrong Test:
Treeluva: well. Lets see. I either did REALLY well.
Or I bombed it.
Treeluva: yeah. I either knew what I was doing. Or I thought
I knew what I was doing.

Sexified:
Treeluva: I have to be at work for 145
Treeluva: blah. that sucks.
Treeluva: I am just sleepy. I want to take a nap.
Treeluva: but instead I have to get sexified cause it is "sexy Tuesday"
Treeluva: yeah. My freaking patrons conned me into this last week.
Treeluva: it used to be sexy Friday. But I dont work Friday days.
o they never see me all sexified.


CreepyLoner Novel:

Creepy Loner: Ugh. My thighs are killing me. I have to try to move.
FoodSIut: who are you strangling with your thighs, your hot date?
FoodSIut: the thigh with the tattoo of the WINDMIL ON FIRE!
Creepy Loner: [laughing]...stop that, Onion.
BinxB91: a Windmill on Fire?
Creepy Loner: Some fresh aspect of Onion's fictional account of
me and my life, Binx.
Creepy Loner: I have no idea.

Hillary's Darkside:
Is She Weird 55: i fed my dog a wasabi pea
Is She Weird 55: she ran to her water dish but i took it away
Is She Weird 55: please dont call the humane society on me!


MsLynn's T-shirt:
MsVictoriaLynn1: "While your undressing me with your eyes, the
least you could do is fold my clothes properly"

The Safety Dance:
Creepy Loner: His version was "You can touch my buttocks, they
are firm and they are round, but if you do touch, a little too
much, I might pull my trousers down." I'm sure he stole that
from something, but I don't know what, so I found it
Creepy Loner: hilarious.
NoraMcKee525: i mean...um....
Creepy Loner: And he lived up to the promise.


Memories:

Creepy Loner: It's in my memory. I do have a Polaroid of his
penis, though...so he'd better not mess with me...
BinxB91: "A Polaroid of His Penis" --- future title of the
CreepyLoner book of poetry
PatientOnion3: are you sure it's HIS P*NIS?
Creepy Loner: Pretty sure...I took the picture.
Creepy Loner: Proving that you're not a straight woman or a
gay man, Onion.


Anais's Dream Cam:

PatientOnion3: i just turned on Anais' dream cam, her and
creepy are all dressed up as black ninjas, sneaking in the
back door of rono's hut, anais pulls a long knife out of her
ninja pocket, creepy has a star trek rapulator
Creepy Loner: Yeah...and...?
DinosoreVagina: imagine Anais' dream cam... she could charge
for that
MsVictoriaLynn1: mine are in sensurround
Creepy Loner: I'm trying to figure out how a dream about me
hemming some pants could be erotic.
Creepy Loner: She never did explain that well.




We Love You But We're Lazy:
Max 314159265358: I never get EMails
Tammynet: cause you have too many damn numbers to type Max..
we love you but we are lazy


Pastor Limit:

Solsfam: My son went to seminary in Waco
Pablo Bigasso: Did he come out of it ok, Sols?
Solsfam: Pablo,yes , he is now a pastor
Pablo Bigasso: I spent a month in Waco one evening.
Summers Eve L: Then he didn't come out ok.
Summers Eve L: Whoa somebody stop us.
NoraMcKee525: lol eve
Pablo Bigasso: ahaha
Solsfam: He is hoping to become senior pastor at his church
Pablo Bigasso: A Pastor? like with marinara sauce?


Bad Typing Won't Get Her Off:

Daxterbuddies: Wait Please Nora I have to get off Really Quick
NoraMcKee525: k
Summers Eve L: haha
CordialCactus: lol
CordialCactus: get off slower
CordialCactus: :-X
Pablo Bigasso: O:-)
EmpressZ21: yeah huh?
CordialCactus: more slowly?
Summers Eve L: I'm liking the random Use of Capitalization.
Summers Eve L: It Reminds me of When I have DIFFICULTY
controlling the VOLUME OF MY VOICE
CordialCactus: me tOo


Onion's ChatRoom Op-Ed:
PatientOnion3 Where else can you meet so easily a cross-section
of evil senseless boredom?
Can you imagine a big warehouse in town, each door labelled
like a chatroom? You walk in and see 36 humans who are born again,
abducted by UFOs and Hopelessly Romantic.


Nora Seeks solace from ... ONION!:
NoraMcKee525[8:51 PM]: onion...oregon duck hunter is creeping
me out in a not funny way in ims




Onion Pumps Up CreepyLoner:

FoodSIut: anybody gains such status from dating you
Creepy Loner: Absolutely not, Onion...all of my exes have become
famous, sexy, rich, and adored almost the moment after they
stopped boinking me.
FoodSIut: that's because they stole your charm, intelligence and
wit, and you inspired them