KatyTried Struggles On ... Because Anais Insisted

Onion's Past:
BinxB91: She's cool but she still put Onion on instant ignore
whenever she saw him
Creepy Loner: Who were you talking about?
BinxB91: UrbanStarGazer
Hadachoke: we used to chat a lot
FoodSIut: she is boring and tedious, if you don't believe me,
read her blog
BinxB91: boring and tedious are redundant
FoodSIut: i will get you a link to prove it: The Blog
of a Boring Person


Penrod and Ooolijay Getting Know Each Other:

Penrod59: a JACKSON Pollack; now I get it
Ooolijay: shut up
Penrod59: it was too obscure a reference for us
Ooolijay: it was not. you are all just asshole
Penrod59: no, seriously, I didn't get it
Ooolijay: liar
Penrod59: but I am dense sometimes
Ooolijay: dont try to suck up now
Ooolijay: it's too late
ParaMyrrh: calm down
Penrod59: suck up?
Ooolijay: shush
Penrod59: I don't suck up
Ooolijay: get too dizzy
Penrod59: I fawn
Penrod59: I flatter
Ooolijay: i've yet to see you fawn
Ooolijay: you should start fawning
Ooolijay: dammit

Penrod-Ooolijay II:
Penrod59: I'm going to Vermont this weekend
Penrod59: bed and breakfast
Ooolijay: that's awfully girly of you
Penrod59: maybe I'll touch my penis to the objets d'art in our room
Ooolijay: yes you should do that

Penrod in Texas:
Penrod59: "Ha-ow minny hay-and?"
Ooolijay: you suck at that pen
Ooolijay: we hit our r's really hard
Ooolijay: you won't last a second
Ooolijay: you'll be lynched
Penrod59: haha
Penrod59: I've bee to Texas and haven't been lynched once
Ooolijay: well, it only takes once
Penrod59: had diarrhea from the beans

What Attracts Men:
Ooolijay: i just told ozzwhatever his name is to scram!
Penrod59: who is ozz?
Ooolijay: other people have told him to scram
Ooolijay: some guy who im'd me
Ooolijay: i dont know who he is
Ooolijay: he probably saw me say i was going to shove a
hummel up my hoohaa
Ooolijay: and now wants to be my special online firend
Ooolijay: friend
Penrod59: yeah, that attracts men
Ooolijay: dammit
Ooolijay: you'd be surprised
Ooolijay: i slept about an hour last night
Penrod59: I used to go to the Yahoo Hummelinmyvagina room
and pick up girls

The Pause That Refreshes:
Ooolijay: this whole room is on the rag
Ooolijay: except for me
Ooolijay: i'm very sweet
Treeluva: im not on the rag.
Various704: me either. im just naturally unstable

Stoner Joke:
I2DaysInNovember: knock knock who's there?
purple chicken purple chicken who?
oh wow man who's there?

Anais Has the Answer:
Various704: somebody called the shelf a cult earlier.
im wavering on that
Anais3233: maybe they typo'ed and meant cunt



Odds & Ends Overflowing:

Lamumsie: I am having vegetarian vegetable soup

Ooolijay: i wish i had a crack whore to cuddle with

ArabellaRose16: I never considered moving to Idaho

Creepy Loner: *Hit Me Baby (One More Time)
/A bunch of drunken frat guys*

TacoDreamMachine: Faust's existence is antithetical to the
WalMartian mantra of "Have a nice day."

BlDET: i was going to meet 2 people from the lounge for beef on weck

Godwit935: I don't like these hurricanes named after men.
It's not natural.

ParaMyrrh: I am comfortable with my butt

LeslieHapablap: fun fact: mr. hapablap's favorite snack is
apple slices with cheese.

Bethliebner: biting is fun

Forkrerereredux: koreans have the largest heads of all the asians

Prospect26: did we just talk?

MsVictoriaLynn1: I rigged a Neil Diamond show in there back
when I was young and foolish

WEyesShut: i dont get why people live next to places where there's
a lot of hurricaines

Godofodd2: how come it says on the egg carton to refrigerate eggs?



Typos, Misreadings ...:

Creepy Loner: I need some tentacle porn movies...
Anais3233: i have a octopus in my shower and i'm not afraid
to use it
Creepy Loner: I know, Anais...I'm quite upset. I thought that
I was unique in here...
Boulshevit: I have a testicle in my exwifes...ah shit..
the moment's gone
Creepy Loner: Not "testicle"...TENTacle.


Sunbathing Reflections:

Rietax: is sunbathing weather
Lamumsie: nekkid sunbathing?
I2DaysInNovember: Rei I spent all day in Saugatuck it was
only 75 when it was cloudy
Anais3233: saugatuck? that's a funny name
Rietax: i had a niece from europe she did naked
AnonyMitch: do chicks really get naked and go outside?
Anais3233: mitch... of course
Anais3233: why not?
Rietax: neighbours enjoyed it immensely
AnonyMitch: anais...really? i'd like to see that.
Anais3233: don't YOU?
Boulshevit: That's what I thought, Ana..but I didn't have the
nerve to say it
Rietax: next day she said, they don't do that here?
AnonyMitch: no. i don't.
Anais3233: huh
I2DaysInNovember: I have been to nude beaches in California
Rietax: they have a naked beach there 12
AnonyMitch: i haven't been naked in the sun in...well...i'm not sure.
Beatnikspore: america is still very backward
Anais3233: well, maybe you should get a privacy fence. they are
WELL worth the money
I2DaysInNovember: and Rhode Island
I2DaysInNovember: but not in Michigan
Rietax: and a section for men only
Rietax: yes they do
Anais3233: dang 12 you cheeky monkey!
Lamumsie: is there a nude beach on the great lakes?
AnonyMitch: anais...you do that. get naked. then i'lll look
your place up on google images. :-D
I2DaysInNovember: oh right the south end of Oval Beach?
Rietax: Had a cottge rental tell me they do
Rietax: yep


Drunken Confessions:
Bethliebner: various you are the king of the shelf
Yossarian4now: hey
Bethliebner: lf
Various704: no beth im a legend in my own mind though
Bethliebner: lol
Bethliebner: we all are
Boulshevit: Various makes me smile...dammit I'm drunk again!
Anais3233: lol
Various704: boul, was that an accidental gay moment?
Various704: brb
Creepy Loner: *Quicksand / David Bowie*
Anais3233: Boulshevit: Various makes me smile...
Anais3233: Boulshevit: Various makes me smile...
Boulshevit: Ana..that was taken out of context
Anais3233: oooh where is binx??

Obama's Speech and Basic Hygiene:
ZOEaudra: did yall watch obama's speech or not
Creepy Loner: No, ZOE. I don't give a s**t.
MsVictoriaLynn1: no Zoe, I didn't
BinxB91: I watched Obama's speech while I was trimming my toenails
WarHorseThor: binx, that is the weirdest thing I have ever read
Ooolijay: i have to pee
WarHorseThor: me too

Onion's Stand-in:
ArabellaRose16: Hello everyone
PatientOnion3: arabella, are you smart?
ArabellaRose16: depends who's asking
Ooolijay: i think onion is asking
ArabellaRose16: then yes
PatientOnion3: good, then i can leave the room in your hands while
i do the laundry

[... the new bartender, who at first simply gave him the once-over
as he continued to wipe a few wineglasses, then stepped to him as
if picking his way barefoot through broken glass.
And Eric just flipped, flinging himself nearly halfway across the
zinc. "Can I speak with you?"
"I'll be with you in a minute," the bartender said as if Eric was
out of line.
Cleveland, the other bartender, the dreadlocked one, stepped in to
take Eric's order. "What you need, boss?"
Eric waved him away. "You." Pointing at the new guy, now drawing
a draft beer for the reporter. "Right now."
"May I finish serving first?"
Eric waited, embracing the stall to stoke his fury.
"What's your name again?"
"Eric," the bartender said.
"Eric, huh? No kidding. So's mine. So what's your problem, Eric,
you think you're destined for better things?"
"Excuse me?"
"Let me tell you something. This right here isn't about
researching your next role. It's a job. In fact, we're paying you.
And I'm gonna tell you something else. It's proactive. Customers
don't come in here for the drinks, they come for the bartender. Any
bartender worth a shit knows this, but you, you stand there, got a
one-word answer for everything: huh, uh, yes, no, maybe. You make
people feel like losers, like you're their punishment from a jealous
god or something. I swear, Cleveland?" Nodding to the Rastahead at
the far end now. "The guy makes a martini like he's got hooks for
hands, but he's twice the bartender you are because he works at it.
Everybody's a regular with that guy, and he never stops moving, never
comes off like this gig is some demeaning station of the cross on the
way to the Obies. I mean, watching the two of you back here tonight?
It's like a blur and a boulder. And to be honest, right now even
with the traffic the way it is, I'd rather cash you out on the spot,
have him work solo, or draft one of the waiters or even come back
there myself then let you pull this 'I'd rather be in rehearsals'
crap ten more minutes, you hear me?
"Yeah." The guy had gone pale.
"I'm sorry, say what?" Cupping an ear.
"Yes." Wide-eyed. "I hear you."
"Excellent. Just remember. No energy. No gig. Talk. Smile.
Do it. You're hanging by a thread."
"Can I say one more thing?" Half-raising his hand.
Eric waited.
"I happen to be in med school."
"Same difference," Eric said, thinking, Sort of, yeah, no, most
definately even worse, I happen to be, like Little Lord Fauntleroy,
Eric turning away ...]

Mimi Comes Home to Roost:
Madam Mimi: I should have one of you Shelfers read my MS.....
not those idiot loungers

Old Shelvers Reacquainting:
WarHorseThor: mimi, I am iron feliks, voxies minion, you hate me,
I just thought you should know

Know Oneself:
ArabellaRose16: MsVictoria, you sound old. I mean that in a
totally good way I swear, there's just something about how you type,
sophysticated (I know I didn't spell that right) are you a teacher
or something?
Creepy Loner: [laughing]
MsVictoriaLynn1: I have been Arabella, yes
ArabellaRose16: I think everyone in this room is a mess, but that's
beside the point
Creepy Loner: Fair enough, Ara...I can't argue that.

Sympathies:
Max 314159265358: I've lost use of my lower extremities
MsVictoriaLynn1: more of one than you'll ever be, Thor
Creepy Loner: My prayers have been answered, Max.
Ooolijay: hope you're sitting down max


Gender Studies:
WarHorseThor: are you a woman with a dick? or a dude with tits?
MsVictoriaLynn1: you pick the one you like thor, you seem to
be obsessed with my anatomy
Treeluva: gender is a societial determination, not an anatomy
determination
MsVictoriaLynn1: ty Tree
BinxB91: what?
WarHorseThor: so tree, a human with a penis is not necessarily a man?
Creepy Loner: [stares at Tree]so, genitals play no role in gender...
Creepy Loner: Uhh...
MsVictoriaLynn1: pick the version you like, print my profile photos
and have a party thor
Gleem1946: Trees have no gender
Treeluva: creepy, they do in our collective culture
ArabellaRose16: Penguins are cool
ArabellaRose16: they waddle


CreepyLoner as Mentor:
ArabellaRose16: *sigh* why can't I just grow up about three
years all at once?? There's just some stuff that people know
that only comes with age, why can't I just know it now?
Creepy Loner: I'll help you, Ara...bloodlessly pursue anything
that's in your own self-interest and stop having sex.
Creepy Loner: There.
Creepy Loner: You're now older

"is that ironic?":
Max 314159265358: Creep, I may have hit rock bottom
Creepy Loner: Huh; do tell, Max.
Max 314159265358: When B00k questions about why you care about looks..
Creepy Loner: ...what, Max?
Max 314159265358: she actually asked me that
Creepy Loner: She asked you why you care about looks?
Max 314159265358: Yes
Max 314159265358: is that ironic?
Creepy Loner: It's...interesting

Broken-Hearted, Might as Well Cunnilingus:
Creepy Loner: I'm broken hearted...and it's Black's fault.
This means that I'll be going down on Jay soon.
Ooolijay: i guess i should take a shower
Creepy Loner: That's so polite, Jay.
Creepy Loner: Thanks.

Small Achievements:
Raphael11110: my uncle died off brin hemorrage at 50 but he
never I mean never exercised
BinxB91: I'm 51 (sigh)
Creepy Loner: Good job, Binx; you've outlived Raph's uncle.

Just Like You:
BlDET: dallas is a jewel
BlDET: but it's a hard city to get to know

By then, she was done with the a's and b's:
ThePaIeRlDER: got a c in it too
ThePaIeRlDER: 7 yrs later i took the teacher home from a bar

DOOM'S idea of Cybering:
Billw0314: and I'm not lookin for cyber...it's just that Doom
asked me some general questions about Being And Nothingness
when we talked a few days ago



Phezziwhig Distracted:
Dickenzian: I once wanted to find info about screw mount lenses.
Let me tell you, screw and mount are not good keywords
Dickenzian: Frankly, I don't know what that woman saw in that
donkey or why the donkey put up with her

Be Ready:
Creepy Loner: I need some friends.
Creepy Loner: Even if I don't like them.

Rono Remembers TooHotDVM:
Penrod59: I remember toohot, rono
Penrod59: what about her?
Penrod59: she was a veterinarian
Penrod59: she was a nice kid
RONORELOADED: and she fell in love with me but I did not respond
so she left the shelf
Penrod59: hahaha
RONORELOADED: I am telling the truth...
Penrod59: haha oo
Penrod59: of course you are
Ooolijay: i believe you rono
Penrod59: me too

Onion as Family Cicus:
FoodSIut: i just hope god is taking a nap and didn't hear what
you guys said

Fork at Planned Parenthood:
Forkrerereredux: no need to use a condom if the girl is
already pregnant

Julie Once Lived Next to Sarah Palin:
Ooolijay: i lived at these apartments a long time ago and there
was this girl in the laundry room
Ooolijay: she had a load of clothes right out of the dryer
Ooolijay: and tried to balance her newborn on top of the clothes heap

As If I Could Look Away:
Poor Bidet: look at me saying shit

This Just In:
Ooolijay: for god's sake why are my feet sweating

Imagining Your Imaginary Friend:
Prospect26: lady...how are you?
RONORELOADED: prospect, which one is lady?
Anais3233: is lady here?
Anais3233: where's lady?
RONORELOADED: prospect, seriously...you have to
Prospect26: Lady...I almost bought into this.
RONORELOADED: get rid of lady obsession
RONORELOADED: prospect, lady is not here
Anais3233: who is lady now?
Prospect26: rono...lady is not a part of my life.
Anais3233: what screen name is that tricky little minx using
now? she's always hiding behind different screen names
RONORELOADED: prospect, I did not say she is...but you think
lady is here now
RONORELOADED: but she is not
RONORELOADED: we all know each other here
Prospect26: no
Prospect26: no no no no no


Fork Being Schooled on Babies:
Forkrerereredux: there is nothing impressive about a baby
CordialCactus: fork.. the umbilical stump is pretty neat
CordialCactus: and the ability to projectile vomit 2 ounces
of milk, but make it seem like a gallon
CordialCactus: thats cool too


Monk's Questions:
JimJones912: someone ask me some questions, please
Poor Bidet: when is the last time you had anal sex, jim
CordialCactus: best neil diamond song, jim
JimJones912: i had a boner about 30 seconds ago
CordialCactus: bidet's question was my second choice

Lesser of Two Evils:
Poor Bidet: and now we have to hear about binx
Poor Bidet: i'd rather IM with hada

Monk's Trauma:
JimJones912: i don't like neil diamond
JimJones912: i liked the jazz singer when i was 10
JimJones912: made me want to hurt jews, or be one

Why One Should shower Regularly:
Poor Bidet: this kitten keeps touching my feet, and i hate that

They make those?:
MsVictoriaLynn1: THAT explains a lot... Para has a
fisher-price NERF penis!
JimJones912: don't leave that thing out in the rain


Reading Out Loud For ParaMyrrh:
BinxB91: His cock, my ass, unwinding. Divine.
BinxB91: As he enters me I let go
ParaMyrrh: kinky
BinxB91: millimeter by millimeter
BinxB91: of the tensing, pulling, gripping, tightening.
CordialCactus: binx, are you quoting something?
BinxB91: (yes)
JimJones912: cactus, calm down
CordialCactus: (good)
Catpower777: he's quoting Godwit's diary

Ironic:
JimJones912: i don't have to answer questions

Double Meanings:
Phronsie: It's impossible to have anyone inside your body with you.
Ooolijay: um, not it's not phronsie
Ooolijay: i think you just forgot

Not the Flying Nun?:
Poor Bidet: have you seen my picture?
Poor Bidet: i'm a 'spectable woman
Poor Bidet: i'll send it - you send one, too
Poor Bidet: brb
Godofodd2: bidet always sends pics of Sally Field and says they're her

Her Popular Blog:
Poor Bidet: my blog is read by 20 people
Poor Bidet: i linked my popular blog to para's unpopular clever blog



Epicures:
LynBelle: what is good wtih cantalope, just put a scoop of vanilla
ice cream in the hole of the melon and eat it with the melon,
it is yummy
I2DaysInNovember: Lyn oh yeah I'm there
Tammynet: no way, that does not sound good

Sports Fan:
BinxB91: Nebraska is 2-0
LeslieHapablap: yippee!

Plea Bargain:
BD Radical84: Beyss would you like to see something
Beysshoes: nolo bd


Julie's Favorite:
Ooolijay: he's not very old
Ooolijay: but i think he's over 18
I2DaysInNovember: uhhhmmmm yeah
Ooolijay: at least
Ooolijay: i love that store
Ooolijay: bed bath and beyond
Boulshevit: Legal, Ooo...that's important
Ooolijay: yes
Ooolijay: at first i got pissed off when i went in there because
there was just this fat kid behind the counter
IOoolijay: i almost left
Ooolijay: then i saw him helping some guy
Ooolijay: so i hung around and asked stupid questions about headphones
RONORELOADED: does he have any clue about your crush
Boulshevit: THe hot sales guy at the bed bath and beyond..er..wait
a minute
Ooolijay: i dunno. we flirt
2DaysInNovember: Target Tommy right
Ooolijay: man-boy
Boulshevit: lol
Ooolijay: he was walking by when i was looking at the shoes
Ooolijay: and came down the aisle to talk to me again
RONORELOADED: my target works at the Target
Ooolijay: and helped me pick out a pair
Ooolijay: he liked the black ballet flats
Boulshevit: Pick out a pair?
Ooolijay: of shoes
Boulshevit: Oh
Ooolijay: shush
Ooolijay: he doesn't give a shit if i buy stuff or not. i doubt he
gets commission
I2DaysInNovember: his name is Ted
I2DaysInNovember: Target Ted = the object of Oooli's affection
Ooolijay: no his name is tommy

Failed Geology:
WEyesShut: i hate reading about minerals and rocks and how we're
fk up the atmosphere

The Unrequited:
RONORELOADED: the girl that I like is not showing up online

Noted:
B00KGASM: Anyone read Emile Zola's stuff?
B00KGASM: NYBR is coming out with a new translation/edition of
his The Kill.
B00KGASM: I want it

Fork the Destroyer:
WEyesShut: america is 6 percent of the population and uses
30 percent of the worlds resources
Forkrerereredux: i wish we used 100% of the world's resources

And Then Achieve Energy Independence:
FoodSIut: McCain said tonight that he would shut down Katy Tried