Sign of Economic Recovery?:
Josh Maxwell4: The price of Trix is outrageous

Women in the Work Place:
KimberlysCabin09: even recently went back and worked a temp job
at a place id worked before and hated
shrtfnnybrunette: so why did you go back?
KimberlysCabin09: i needed some money in august
shrtfnnybrunette: aww august that foul month
KimberlysCabin09: iT was the place where i had to put fruit rollups
in a box really fast on a conveyor belt.. but this time...
shrtfnnybrunette: yes?
KimberlysCabin09: i got to work in the lab room, and make cereal
boxes and shove bags of cereal into the box really fast
KimberlysCabin09: the last time i worked there i couldnt keep up
on the rollup line so they moved me to the little ketchup packet
line and i kept getting packages that were opened and ketchup
all over
shrtfnnybrunette: darn ketchup
KimberlysCabin09: it was like that episode of lucy where her and
ethel work in the chocolate factory
KimberlysCabin09: and they eat the chocolate and stuff it in their
clothes


Norma Rae Lives On:
KimberlysCabin09: it was standing on the cement for 12 hours that
killed me
KimberlysCabin09: and the stupid people that kept goofing off
throwing products at each other
KimberlysCabin09: i think the people was the worst part of it
shrtfnnybrunette: wow 12 hrs standing i wouldn't want to do it
Josh Maxwell4: i worked in a factory one summer. they timed the
pee breaks.
KimberlysCabin09: yep josh, they are hard on temps


We Can Multi-Joke:
Catpower777: hey Binx
Hadachoke: Blonde tells her coworkers "I'm not stupid, tonight
i'm gonna study and memorize all the state capitols... you can
test me tomorrow"
Alansueton: ah Binx is here
BinxB91: A middle-aged woman is walking through the woods and
comes upon a frog
Alansueton: Binx don't step on Hada's joke
Alansueton: please
Hadachoke: Next day one of 'em says "Blondie, ok, whats\'s the
capital of Wyoming?"
Beysshoes: we can multijoke.
Beysshoes: asseries
KissMyAsterix: you know if not even one is funny
Hadachoke: She says "Doh, it's W"
BinxB91: who says to the woman, "kiss me! and I'll turn into
a handsome prince."
Beysshoes: loL bobby
BinxB91: The woman hestitates.
BinxB91: "kiss me! I'll turn into a handsome prince. what are
you waiting for??"
BinxB91: The woman ponders, "at this point in my life I was
thinking I'd be more interested in a talking frog."
Beysshoes: omg binx. you're too fun. i love that! hahaha
Beysshoes: actually, i thought the joke ended 2 lines back binx
BinxB91: LOL Beys
Hadachoke: beys, he hasn't gotten to the punch line yet
Alansueton: (let them die together)
Beysshoes: heee
KissMyAsterix: lol
BinxB91: Beys is the Salvador Dali of joke-telling
Alansueton: More like the Kevorkian


Beysshoes' Gentleman Caller:
Beysshoes: omg binx. what was the title?
Alansueton: Beys if you type omg one more time I will fly to
hawaii and remove those letters from your keyboard


A New Series:
HeRsHeYbAbYxO11: ehh theres still a few gampire books good teen
vampire books. its just repetitive
KissMyAsterix: oh see that alan, a new series for you grampire books


What Are You Wearing?
HeRsHeYbAbYxO11: pj bottoms...whats it matter

Really, That Was Enough:
HeRsHeYbAbYxO11: okie pink pj bottoms and a black cami

I Didn't Ask!!:
HeRsHeYbAbYxO11: .......ummm is the next question what color are
my undies?


Women Love Vampires:
ookish dude 21: not exactly sure why women love vamps so much
HeRsHeYbAbYxO11: iternal love obviously

What Are You Wearing Russian Girl?
Snegurochka Doll: tanks top
Snegurochka Doll: and my jean

Awesome:
Beysshoes: last night it was awesome talking to you about hating
phonies, para.
Alansueton: Beys it was I don't like phonies people who can't
even call their dying father


The Importance of Being Godwit:
Oncewasbird: These people are too happy in their Lexi and gated
communities. Time to roust 'em out.
Oncewasbird: I'm in earnest. We need mass demonstrations.
Alansueton: Once "Earnest" Victorian England code word for
homosexual?
Alansueton: are you trying to tell us something?
AmberDevilRay8: "Earnest" really meant that?
Alansueton: Amber yes



What If Godwit and Niontron Had a Baby?:
Oncewasbird: The doctors should be rioting, but they are just whores.

Jam and Obama Are Like That:
Jam7604801: Wit I have sold about 2,000 lbs of tomatos this year
Oncewasbird: I like Obama. He wants to do things.

Beysshoes' Place of Refuge:
Beysshoes: gina, the pipples in the blog beat me up so i'm here.
KissMyAsterix: which pipples
KissMyAsterix: wasn't me
KissMyAsterix: I wasn't there
AmberDevilRay8: The hell's a pipple?
Tammynet: which pipple should i beat up, beys


Literary Discussion ... kinda:
DoomGrl: lord byron was a rake
ElizavetaTheRed: And then I think he lived in France
Alansueton: the funny thing Lord Byron was a stud and all
But he short and had a club foot He also had barely any hair
on his head at 35
KissMyAsterix: a relative?
Alansueton: he must have had a honker between his legs
Beysshoes: kinda like cheney?
ElizavetaTheRed: I would have a hard time dating a bald guy
SkylerThompson22: wasnt byron gay?
Alansueton: Skyler rumors
Alansueton: he wasn't
Alansueton: the guy f*cked his sister


Poke Him Again:
Beysshoes: is that you godwit?


Either Asexual or Nympho:
ElizavetaTheRed: ALan do you flirt with Judah?
Kat2834d: hi room F/29
Alansueton: Eliza no
Alansueton: I do not flirt with anyone
Alansueton: I flirt with disaster
Kat2834d: :-) aww Alan
Beysshoes: sue sue is asexual
KissMyAsterix: I think that other guy.. condor
KissMyAsterix: but I really don't know
Beysshoes: or multisexual. one o' those
KissMyAsterix: multi but not metro
KissMyAsterix: well that sounded a little gay

What Josh Noticed:
Josh Maxwell4: i notice the interstate sex stores are vacant,
must be the web

Josh Calls For Help:
Josh Maxwell4: had a terrible tuna salad, awful
Beysshoes: was it spoiled josh
Josh Maxwell4: i think so
Josh Maxwell4: i may die
Beysshoes: que josh??? call 611

Sympathy:
Beysshoes: josh do you have benadryl? or just mix baking soda
with water
Beysshoes: do something!
Beysshoes: yoss hep that poor slob!
Yossarian4now: i don't know. i've had my stomach pumped before.
beyond that ..
Yossarian4now: just make yourself hurl, josh
Beysshoes: omg josh vanished. mebbe he died
Yossarian4now: maybe so
Beysshoes: lets plan a funeral then.
Beysshoes: a funeral for friends?


Numberology:
Yossarian4now: skkyer has a fascinating theory, beys
Beysshoes: wats that?
Yossarian4now: he believes that what version you have of aol,
tells you if you have good relationships or not
Yossarian4now: like if you have 9.0, you must have shitty ones
Yossarian4now: because you're a loser or such
Yossarian4now: and if you have 9.5, you must be wealthy
Yossarian4now: and have all good relationships
Beysshoes: hmmmm. josh2 must be like mensa yes?
SkylerThompson22: so far its panned out
Beysshoes: i'm aol 2.0 pick me pick meeeeeeee josh2!

Gomer Pyle Guide to Happiness:
Beysshoes: gutter? my fantasy is to find a quonset hut.
i want to live in one.
Yossarian4now: dream big
Beysshoes: say you want one too josh2!
SkylerThompson22: im sorry for your setbacks beysshoes
Beysshoes: josh2. you just dont understand. i knew a family in
a quonset hut. and they were happy.
SkylerThompson22: whats a quonset hut?
Beysshoes: NO. its like if you cut a cucumber down lengthwise.
turn one side upside down
Beysshoes: voila
Beysshoes: quonset hut
Yossarian4now: with less seeds


Why We Can't Recruit Newbies:
Various704: im trying to figure out what you are all talking
about and failing miserably
Beysshoes: that's because we're not talking about nuttin'
Beysshoes: just throwing lines in space
Beysshoes: skyler just informed us we're losers for not having
aol 9.5 so we don't care.
Various704: ah
Beysshoes: skyler got some poor slob to marry him and bear his
chillens so he counts
Various704: wow. im a loser for more reasons than that. get it
right skyler
SkylerThompson22: im not married
Beysshoes: you lied? omgomgomg
Yossarian4now: someone lying online? the shock
SkylerThompson22: its an old tv show
Beysshoes: tamela you hear dat? skyler fakes being married so you
and me won't harrass him.
Tammynet: like that will stop us?
Beysshoes: tilly boy
Yossarian4now: meg tilly's?

Aim Up and See Me Sometime:
Beysshoes: somebody misses you legs. i forget who though.
Yossarian4now: yeah yeah
Legs029: they need better aim then bey ; )
Yossarian4now: that would be me, beys
Beysshoes: wow you sound even more slutty than tamela



Teaching Onion:
PatientOnionSF: Alan said that Czeslaw Milosz is his great inspiration
ElizavetaTheRed: You cant believe anything Alan says


You Send Me:
Beysshoes: sue sue has begun to comment on my blog onion. so that
leaves you you punk
PatientOnionSF: who is sue sue? alan's poodle girlfriend?
Beysshoes: tamela just did too. don't be such an anal assful pls
PatientOnionSF: he only does it cuz he feels guilty
PatientOnionSF: red only does it for the cash money alan sends her
Beysshoes: guilty about what? that's just stoopid.
ElizavetaTheRed: Alan doesn't send me money, he sends me poems
ElizavetaTheRed: and poems don't pay my rent
Beysshoes: you must cyber with him eliza. then he'll pay.
Hadachoke: lol
Hadachoke: roR
Beysshoes: oh bobby. you're precious.

Picture This:
ElizavetaTheRed: You can insult anyone you like online, but it
has consequences. They won't then send you their pictures


Beysshoes' Suitor:
Beysshoes: sheesh that was so long ago manik
ManiacEyeball: you didn't even read my email
PatientOnionSF: russian is okay, soviet is bad bad evil bad
KissMyAsterix: oh that dwarf thing never did work for me
ManiacEyeball: i'm talking to bey
PatientOnionSF: bey is not a dwarf thing she is 4'9"
ManiacEyeball: i sent her an email, she hasnt read it yet.
Beysshoes: what email manik?
KissMyAsterix: maybe she's discerning
Beysshoes: and when did you send it?
ManiacEyeball: there you go again
Beysshoes: are you still talking like a year back?
SkylerThompson22: dont open it it has a virus
ManiacEyeball: first you pretend not to remember my mom, now you
pretend to not see my email
Beysshoes: i never got an email from you .
Beysshoes: i wouldn't have deleted it manik
KissMyAsterix: she says that when i mail her too maniac
KissMyAsterix: she never reads my mail
ElizavetaTheRed: Maybe it went into spam
KissMyAsterix: I think she tosses me


"send me pics" is an insult:
SkylerThompson22: eliza dont be offended but
SkylerThompson22: could u send me some pics please
ElizavetaTheRed: Skyler I would have sent you pictures but you
insulted me yesterday


Know Thyself:
Beysshoes: you're kinda creepy
KissMyAsterix: I try beys


Not Even Polish Jokes:
ElizavetaTheRed: I'm sure you felt "I'll just rip on this girl,
make her feel bad. It will be fun"
PatientOnionSF: I like the Patroshka, the famous bird-eating shark
of the Piast Dynasty, a pet of Casimir III the Great
ElizavetaTheRed: And that's fine, I can't stop you. But don't now
ask me for pictures
SkylerThompson22: no
ElizavetaTheRed: Or did you think I'd forget in 24 hours?
PatientOnionSF: Those carefree days in Silesia


Your Sex and Preference:
SkylerThompson22: maniac...what is your sex and preference?
Beysshoes: wow skyler. probing.
ElizavetaTheRed: you mean orientation
ElizavetaTheRed: its not a preference
SkylerThompson22: yeah
Beysshoes: skyler everyone knows this is a tranny chat.
Beysshoes: don't be nosy
AngelGardn: amen


If You Have to Ask:
Jam7604801: why are you in a hotel?

On a Scale of 0 to 100:
Jam7604801: beys speak for yourself and don't include me
Beysshoes: i do speak for myself and i never include you jam
Beysshoes: jam, its understood you're sexless. dont fret.
Jam7604801: bs bey i'm 100% heterosexual
Beysshoes: bs? you're bi?


A Truth Then a Hopeless Effort:
Beysshoes: nobody here is cool. stfu onion


Bisexual is cool:
Beysshoes: he's trynna pretend to be bisexual
PatientOnionSF: bey and jam are bi, lady jam and lady bey knock
their tranny sox 2gether
Jam7604801: bey i don't pretend to be anything other than what i
am unlike onion and a few others i will not name
AngelGardn: no one is cool anymore, there's a boycott on cool
Beysshoes: i realize you think that's cool jam. which is pitifuls.
Jam7604801: whats cool?
Beysshoes: you've pushed the envelop a tad too far homer
AngelGardn: bahaha
Jam7604801: bey you're the onion lover not me
AngelGardn: peppers and onions
Beysshoes: everybody loves onion. we're sick in here stoopids




Beys and the Fucktard:
Jam7604801: onion is just mad obama is taking his social
security away and giving it to all the aids infested faggots
Beysshoes: jam you're a fucktard.


Daniellee at the Brawl:
DanielleeLoko78: that was mildly insulting....
PatientOnionSF: Bey, he is just expressing his intellect,
please you are showing disrespect, that is the highest level
of thought the christian right winger can come up with
Beysshoes: bragging on throwing tomatoes at obama.
hillbilly fucktard
PatientOnionSF: white, low self esteem, low iq, low ambition,
bibles, guns, god, nascar
Beysshoes: i have a sweet fantasy that jams son will grow up to
be a tranny like ms vicky.
PatientOnionSF: from jam up onto bush cheney palin, they are backwards
PatientOnionSF: they need their own sewer to swim in
DanielleeLoko78: im confused


Beys in a Street Fight:
Jam7604801: bey if you want asian culture so bad go back to asia
Beysshoes: jam you are too retarded. you're embarrassing yourself
Jam7604801: if blacks want african culture so bad they can go back
to africa
Beysshoes: what about retards like you jam? where do we send you?
back to yoh mommas belly?


Beyond Waterboarding:
EmpressZ21: dear lord they have the golf channel on and
put it in slow motion


The Unexpected Melodramama:
BinxB91: who here is in pain?
Melodramamama22: i am, i have tennis elbow
BinxB91: how did you get tennis elbow?
Melodramamama22: opening a stuck drawer

Kinda Odd:
BinxB91: what do you do to be romantic?
Melodramamama22: the guys are all thinking: "hold in farts"
Boulshevit: lol
KissMyAsterix: kinda odd to bring up romance in the middle of
tennis elbow chat binx

The Unspoken One?
Hadachoke: quick, make up a good lie
Hadachoke: ok, that'll work
KissMyAsterix: the best lie is the unspoken one?


Onion is Never Done:
Mmikea76: Why is Onion obsessed with Penis...
Mmikea76: thats my question
Mmikea76: dude...
PatientOnionSF: mike, cuz i am gay in San francisco, duh
Mmikea76: ah...well...er...more power to you...um...
PatientOnionSF: i had to spell it out for you
Mmikea76: ok I have concluded my chat with Onion...
Mmikea76: one line is enough


Greg Tries:
GregAndru41: are any of you people actually bookish?
PatientOnionSF: greg, just me, the rest are book-hating peasants
Beysshoes: just porn greg
GregAndru41: peasants, so they love Charles Bukowski and hate
JD Salinger? or they Wolverine should marry Jean Grey?
Beysshoes: nobody cares about you greg. or what you read.


They Wanted to Wait Til the Children Were All Dead:
Hadachoke: i was married almost 50 yrs.. divorced now
EmpressZ21: you divorced after 50 yrs?
Hadachoke: yeah
EmpressZ21: wow
EmpressZ21: what goes wrong after 50 yrs
Beysshoes: you're 73 bobby? omg you're the age of my parents.
we prolly should stop cybering yes?


An Argument for Forced Sterilization:
ManiacEyeball: yeah, so i'm asking ever
bookish dude 21: sure
ManiacEyeball: oh ok.
ManiacEyeball: i don't.
ManiacEyeball: teehee
ManiacEyeball: nyc do you?
bookish dude 21: u wanna make a baby with me if i raise it?
CRlSTlNASAYS: I would like to have a baby, but I don't think
I want to be married
CRlSTlNASAYS: I mean I guess I would get married, but I want a baby more
Beysshoes: pitch the marriage. chillens are less work


Love Ya Ride:
Josh Maxwell4: sara wants to have a baby
Beysshoes: whos sara?
Josh Maxwell4: my gf
Beysshoes: are you going to do it josh? shouldn't you fix your
gender issues first? nolo?
Josh Maxwell4: nah
Beysshoes: well, it may be better if you breed before da operation.
Josh Maxwell4: funny
ShanesRide07: do you really believe any of these people should breed???


In Your Dreams:
THEPaierlder4: ok i think im goin ta bed
Beysshoes: xox
THEPaierlder4: i will think of you though bey
THEPaierlder4: ;-)repeatedly
Beysshoes: don't "think" too fast
THEPaierlder4: oh i wont



WTF Are They Talking About:
Beysshoes: you know i was joking in that email right tamela?
Tammynet: of course
Beysshoes: okay. just checking. loLLL
Tammynet: lol
Beysshoes: (i'd never stop cybering bonbon)
Beysshoes: HAHAHA
Tammynet: lol
Tammynet: who would?
Beysshoes: wow. scaring me here.


[John recalled Scott as he had been. Scott had been fat, so
ridiculously fat, John recalled with a keen pleasure, and he
was still fat really, lean and muscular appearances aside.
He closed his eyes and listened to the trickle of the
washcloth twisted over its bowl. She spoke of Scott's life
from the kitchen as she poured him a cold drink, fondly
retold Scott's exploits to his brother without thinking he
would have already heard them, an obtuseness John found
endearing. She spoke of athletic accomplishments that had
never happened, regaled John with acts of adolescents
rebellion he recognized as the feats of their childhood
friends, but all Scott in the leading roles --- Scott's
misaligned fireworks, Scott's outrageous nudity, Scott's
spray paint, Scott's guitar. Now quite near him, she
offered ice water and healthy food, urged him to eat, asked
him what he liked best about California, then (John somehow
knew this was coming next, could have finished her next sen-
tence for her) Maria told the story of the little girl in the
swimming pool after dark who had been saved, but in her version,
wet, clothed John, gasping for air as he dragged the girl to
the deck, metamorphosed into wet, clothed, gasping, dragging
Scott. "It was very bravery, was it not?"
"A brave man, our Scott," he agreed, and touched her cheek.
John sat up straight, as if a weight had been taken from him,
and old wounds scarred up smoothly in time-lapse haste: Scott
had nothing to offer, no furture potential. John had for years
been pursuing a receding back: Now he had caught it, turned it
to face him, and found he had the wrong fellow all along. Scott
wanted John's past? My God, he could have it: John certainly
wasn't using it. John would happily trade it for the present:
It was only too bad that Scott didn't take grasping Maria
seriously, because that would make this even funnier: the flower
scent and her nearness. The licensing smile. Her lips did not
move immediately away. A tentative response. Then a soft cheek,
perhaps a gentle rejection. But then the lips again. His hand
against the outsize T-shirt of his brother's alma mater, the
picture of the college mascot, flaky from careless laundry,
distorted over her shape, itchy against his palm. Her smiling
reference to the clock and the time remaining until Scott's
return: "A brave man, our John."]


If It Helps His Cause:
Kan wa ma kan: alan you disparage the entire female population?

UnButtoned:
DoomGrl: i believe in mystical connections

Then Ask For a Compliment :
Niontron9: hada takes two years to think up an insult and
that is still no good

DoomGrl Worries:
DoomGrl: i think that if everybodies soul srayed it would
be sooo crowded

Conversation Non-Starter:
Tweetygirl21146: does anyone got a pet in painful?

More Stuff Only Rono Knows:
Niontron9: there are many greek "gods" who has the same
profile as jesus...

Tell It, Rono:
Niontron9: the invisible force that controls human origninated
from sumer to greek
Niontron9: that is the same force controlling us to this day

They:
Niontron9: in the begining the spreader of christian used to
worship satan...they were into occult

'you are not right':
Niontron9: you are thinking allah and god is synonyms...you are
not right
Alansueton: Rono is the Official Mullah of the Shelf

Those Wacky Prophets:
Alansueton: I think whores are sacred
Alansueton: Jesus hung out with whores And Muhammad made women
sheltered whores with the Koran
Kan wa ma kan: alan worships at aphrodite's altar
AmberDevilRay8: Those wacky prophets.

And After That I'll Send You all My Money:
Niontron9: alan, I will ignore you permanently if you say
something like that again


When You Assume:
Hadachoke: i've no experience with unspoken lies