SOMETIMES THIS GETS BORING
(Do you ever wonder what you miss when you're
off BookShelf? Well then, you probably
don't have much of a life. Still I had
to imagine last week that someone had bet
Vanda that he couldn't get 10 people who
claimed not to care about Paris Hilton to
to comment on her release from jail (see
"Irony"). So Vanda won his bet. I hope
that the ladies that were taken in took it
with a laugh. Because I like ladies who
can enjoy being taken.


God Works in Mysterious Ways:

Gypsyjo47: Godwit your whining is incessant and
relentless and I am tired of it...besides, my
hemhorroids are bothering me
Godwit935: Gypsy, have you ever thought God is
speaking to you?
Gypsyjo47: Through my ass?


Onion's world:

PatientOnion3: I got married in my fictional world
Beysshoes: congrats onion!
Niontron3: even in my fantasy, I don't get married
Beysshoes: did you receive many gifts? i hope so
you got lots of kitchen gadgets.
Niontron3: I can't imagine rest of my life only with
one person
Niontron3: and having kids
PatientOnion3: i got a potato peeler and a box of
garbage bags
AforAllie: that's nice, Onion
PatientOnion3: your mother said the same thing Rono


Rono's Book Chat:

Niontron3: people actually talking about books!!!
Ta21l: I know Rono...and wb btw
Niontron3: it's been a while since I read any novel
...I stopped reading novels
Niontron3: novels don't interest me any more..
JFWaterman: No time, eh, Niontron?
Niontron3: no... I just read different kinds of books
Niontron3: oh, I read too...
Niontron3: just not novels..
JFWaterman: I stopped time and have been reading
C. S. Lewis- his series of 'Out Of The SIlent Planet',
'Perelandra', and 'This Terrible Strength'.
Niontron3: I read, math, computers, biology, etc...
Niontron3: if you read novels too much, that means you
are too lazy to read hard subjects


Aloof Sexuality:

JFWaterman: Fitzgerald lived too far up his own ass
for my tastes . . .
Baker77787: Fitzgerald was a madman to be true.....
aloof and sexual with anything that would have him
Prospect26: a...I love Zelda...


"I have to watch when I type":

Phronsie: Maybe I should start winding down a
little early
Phronsie: Y'all have fun
DAISYTRAIL: nite Phronsie
Vanda52: hey phrone, heres some trivia, cheetahs
are the only cats with claws that dont retract, like
a dog s claws, the reason is they use their claws
like cleats on running shoes when they chase down prey
Vanda52: jesus
Vanda52: she left
Vanda52: after all that typing
DAISYTRAIL: hahaha, I hate when that happens
Vanda52: i have to watch when i type so i know whats
going on in here


The Low-down on pre-marital sex:

JaneH56: condor are you an LDS?
Condorblue: no, but i've worked with a group of mormons,
they gave me the lowdown on pre-marital sex
Hickory49: ... Nostradamus never masturbated ...
Condorblue: apparently everything is ok, except intercourse


KaL Not Getting Enough Attention:

ParaMyrrh: I support Clitorectomy for Hygienic purposes


Make Pretend:

Condorblue: I'd like to own a gun, maybe even shoot at
some small animals, much like our next president, mitt romney
ParaMyrrh: My religion is titled "Pulled Down White Cotton
Panty Spankerism"
Lazy Energy: oh geez
Lazy Energy: i'm going to pretend i didn't hear that


Sausage Standards:
Condorblue: I only eat bratwurst, anything else is poop



Especially When They're Free;

Creepy Loner: I tried to act like a whore for a while.
Jam7604801: why creepy
Creepy Loner: I was bored and wanted to date someone.
Prospect26: Creepy...well...good on you. Men like whores.


"I am doing something very complex":

Niontron3: Creepy, who comes in here and talks about
brillian autistic kids?
DAISYTRAIL: Your mom, Rono.
Niontron3: by "in here" you meant aol?
Niontron3: Daisy, at least I am brilliant
Creepy Loner: I never said "in here" Nion.
DAISYTRAIL: uh huh
Creepy Loner: You might want to take that back about being
brilliant.
Niontron3: creepy, take back?
Niontron3: I am multitasking, creepy...
Niontron3: I am not only talking here...
Niontron3: I am doing something very complex


Hobbies?
Bludahlias: eating, shitting and sleeping and complaining
about kids


Things that make you go "hmmm":
Max 314159265358: Y'know I come online to avoid perversion


Mistaken Identity:
Condorblue: as a black man with a small penis, I've been
mistaken for an oriental all my life


Crank it Up:

Ragamuffingirl35: my sister put her cell phone number on
her blog because she wants to see what kind of messages
she gets
Ragamuffingirl35: so, i'm crank calling her phone continuously
ShhJm: mel, is that the sister who thinks I am a freak?
Ragamuffingirl35: yes horse
Ragamuffingirl35: spawn is crank calling her now
ShhJm: email me her number
ShhJm: and her underpants size


Curing Hiccups:

AttitudeF0rEvEr6: And, which do you prefer in a bird,
colorful of feather, or thrilling of song?
AttitudeF0rEvEr6: And, is that how you would have
punctuated that sentence?
AttitudeF0rEvEr6: Where does this bird wade?
Godwit935: Shallow water, Attitude.
CordialCactus: lol attitude.. you know who you remind me of?
AttitudeF0rEvEr6: Cordial, what?
CordialCactus: my father would ask these questions when
i had the hiccups.. would cure them everytime


Wannabe Biker Chic:
CordialCactus: i went to a biker rally thingie..
oh my goodness.. im trying not to slur in type


Rono Getting the Better of Carlos;

Niontron3: I asked this guy, named carlos, at my work
place, "Does your wife know that you are gay?"
Niontron3: he could't answer because if he said "no",
that would mean he is gay but his wife doesn't knwo it
Niontron3: and he couldn't say "yes", because that
would also make him gay


Can I, George?:

Niontron3: someday, I would like to own a farm
Niontron3: where there would be rabbits, cows
Niontron3: deers
Niontron3: and my private jungle
Niontron3: will be together
Ta21l: can I tend the rabbits George?
Ta21l: sorry, couldn't help myself


Noted:
LeslieHapablap: i hate movies with horses or corsets


Failed Negotiations:

LeslieHapablap: let me tell you about the time i babysat.
Niontron3: k, leslie
Niontron3: after that you leave me alone
LeslieHapablap: niontron3, in any contract time is of the
essence.
LeslieHapablap: for how long?
Niontron3: until I talk to you agian
LeslieHapablap: no deal.
LeslieHapablap: skip that story.


ReHab on the Cheap:

Forkrereredux: fork doing just without beer
Ta21l: what's wrong Dux...wanna talk about it?
Forkrereredux: he ate a cup of yogurt instead of
drinking 12 beers

["Do you like me for who I am?" she asks.
"do you want something to eat?" he replies.]


Giving Ta a Story Idea:

BinxB91: once I was with a girl in Thailand
BinxB91: a young girl, very sweet
BinxB91: but still a professional you know
Creepy Loner: Hmm...now THAT'S creepy.
Ta21l: ok, bad pun in my head...lol
BinxB91: not a word of english
BinxB91: not one word
BinxB91: until we were
BinxB91: at a very intense moment
Ta21l: no Jam.... she asked him "Would you like
to put your rooster in me now?"
Creepy Loner: LOL
Jam7604801: then he demostrated what it was and
how it works
BinxB91: and ... uhm ... you know (LOL)
BinxB91: together
BinxB91: she said one English word
Ta21l: ok, I have to ask...what did she say
BinxB91: "finished?"
Ta21l: LMAO
Ta21l: brb
BinxB91: Ta, picking up her ass up off the floor?
Jam7604801: finished as in are you finished yet
or finished as in man you're already finished
BinxB91: she wanted me to be finished
Jam7604801: dern binx
Jam7604801: too bad for you
Jam7604801: binx i always got the ones that never
got enough
Ta21l: ha ha...no, I was chocking
Ta21l: lol...choking even
Jam7604801: choking
BinxB91: chocking?? some kind of odd sport?
Ta21l: if you don't know that girl in Thialand wasn't
that professional
Jam7604801: chocking just remove the h and we see
what she was thinking
Ta21l: sorry...my mind's in the gutter and refuses
to leave
Jam7604801: see
BinxB91: I've been in the gutter a few times
Ta21l: of course, you did just give me a great idea
for a story
FoggyRomantic: at a bowling alley?
Ta21l: no Foggy, they yell at you when you do that
Jam7604801: i was never any good at bowling


If you thought that was gross, skip this one:

ParaMyrrh: Kimberly one gal told me it was incredibly
pleasureable she said "it's like taking a crap after
holding it for a long time over and over and magnify
the pleasure over and over" I didn't hear rest because
it's hard to hear when
ParaMyrrh: your dick is hard


But Hopefully Not With KaL:
KimberlysCabin2: i havent had sex since 1994 BUT that
is hopefully going to change soon


Theories on Kimberly's Draught:

ParaMyrrh: Kimberly "The 6 Million Dollar Pussy"
"We can rebuild it!"
Jhd730: some peoples best protection against bodily harm is
to start stripping
Jhd730: seriously


Shameless:

Jam7604801: jo ann had had more lover than i have
Jhd730: Jam can I include produce?


Allie Update:

AforAllie: yes, still working full time and going to
school full time
AforAllie: 18 months to go
Niontron3: Afore, you are a super human
Niontron3: I did that once...
AforAllie: hah
AforAllie: you don't know the half of it
Niontron3: I did badly in my classes
AforAllie: my bosses are evil
AforAllie: and twisted
Niontron3: I took 15 credits and went to work full time..
AforAllie: it's not easy, Rono
Vanda52: you still date condor ?
Vanda52: he comes in here from time toi time
AforAllie: I can neither confirm nor deny, Allan


Then Don't Talk to Jo-ann:

Jam7604801: onion i'm 32 like i really do book reports
LeslieHapablap: 32 with a 14 year old son??
Jam7604801: yes leslie
LeslieHapablap: S L U T !
Jam7604801: leslie his mom is a year younger than me


Sharing:

FoggyRomantic: how can you talk about what you read?
it's totally personal what you bring to the book how
you enjoy it, it is unique from everybody else that
reads it
Ta21l: and FYI Foogy...I just picked up two new books
today, so bite me bitch
BinxB91: Foggy, there are some aspects that can be shared
FoggyRomantic: name ONE aspect that can be shared Binky.
BinxB91: Some reactions that can be shared
LeslieHapablap: i have been busy with sudoku.
FoggyRomantic: name one
BinxB91: How a book explained the actions of the opposite sex
BinxB91: women are a great mystery to me
FoggyRomantic: Binx, all you have to do is read their mind. Duh!
Ta21l: we're not that hard to figure out Binx
BinxB91: Books help me understand a little bit
Ta21l: read "Women for Dummies"


Latest Theory on BookShelf Decline:
Godwit935: That's what happens to readers. They come in here,
get confronted by homosexual silliness, and leave.


Graceful Exit:
CordialCactus: thanks for not berating me



Leslie's Dad:
LeslieHapablap: one night i caught my dad crying.
LeslieHapablap: he did not know i was watching him.
LeslieHapablap: two nights later i caught him crying again.
LeslieHapablap: the following week, again he was crying.
LeslieHapablap: so i left him a note on his nightstand.
"dad, see a psychiatrist. in fact, see several."
LeslieHapablap: that is a jack handy story.




When a Joke Fails, Claim Genius:

Godwit935: Beys, if you were in Mensa, you'd have given
me a devastating retort by now.
Beysshoes: godwit, if someone says i'm purple why bother
to argue yes?
Godwit935: Beys, I speak to your directly.
Beysshoes: do ya need me to explain the analogy godwit?
Ta21l: lmao
Beysshoes:
Beysshoes: godwit. it takes a higher level of IQ to get
and make jokes. don't feel bad, we unnerstand.
Godwit935: Beys, I go by what you say.



Looking Forward to Immersion:
CordialCactus: binx.... that is some funny stuff
re:Katy Tried... i shall immerse myself at a later time