BOOK SHELF carries on even though
Vanda goes to bed early, PatientOnion must
be actually cooking, Rono has totally
flipped and the fall TV season has started.
Who Does Nagual Love?:
Phezziwig13: Anybody know what happened to Nagual?
Niontron3: Fezi, I was wondering that myself
Catpower777: Para, you talk to Nags, don't you?
ParaMyrrh: Cat, he can't stand me
LeslieHapablap: nagula4a adores me.
Catpower777: Para, I find that hard to believe
ParaMyrrh: Cat believe it
ParaMyrrh: Not everyone loves me
Catpower777: shocking
To Gong Li, on her 37th birthday:
ShhJm: Asian women are very beautiful, then they hit
about 35, they turn into a bag of smashed cornholes
Asking the Tough Questions:
LeslieHapablap: hi, condorblue, what are you wearing?
Condorblue: I'm wearing white socks, green pants, and
a long sleeve shirt that says Cal State fullerton(my
alma mata)
FORKVS MAGNVS: green pants?
Phezziwig13: Maybe he golfs
LeslieHapablap: condorblue is mr. green jeans.
Condorblue: I'm just going to watch House, the only tv
show that I watch regularly
FORKVS MAGNVS: green pants sounds very peculiar
FORKVS MAGNVS: and why are pants plural?
BinxB91: thank you for saying regularly and not
"on a regular basis"
LeslieHapablap: spoony is turning into seinfeld.
Condorblue: fork, it looks like your asking the
tough questions
Asking the Seinfeld Questions:
BlDET: why is something open
BlDET: and closed
BlDET: but never opened and close
LeslieHapablap: now bidet is channeling seinfeld.
Rivited:
Gypsyjo47: Did anybody watch that football game last night?
I was rivited and I am not even a football fan
Condorblue: gypsy, I turned the channel and was stunned
to hear the cowboys pulled it out
Condorblue: but I difinitely think the cowboy qb was high
The Great Mentioners:
ShhJm: ever know someone that flunked out of a big college
in the first semester but still goes on to support the sports
teams and constantly mention that he went to that college?
Why Are They Shoving This Time?:
BlDET: hey gypsy - we were at the fair yesterday, and i had
my hair tucked under one of my husband's hats - a white and
blue hat with a big red buffalo on it
LeslieHapablap: bidet the jew channeler.
ShhJm: bidet is a mess
BlDET: i couldn't figure out why people kept shoving me
Mr Bidet Attacked by a Cock:
BlDET: we have 3 chickens who we let stay broody too long,
and they're nuts
BlDET: one of them attacked my husband the other day
Beysshoes, Still Sad:
Beysshoes: we had a dynamite workshop...the guy who wrote
for Jay Leno was leading
Catpower777: did he make you funny again, Bey?
Beysshoes: no. sadly.
No Room For Discussion:
Creepy Loner: Jam, rest assured, I'd sooner die at this
point than end up in another relationship with a man.
When I Want to be Alone:
Phezziwig13: Whatever happened to the Battlestar Galactica
room? I used to go there when I felt like being alone
English Cuisine:
Asia7384: only the English would come up with both the
terms 'stones' and 'kidney'
Asia7384: and then put them together
Jammyspudegg: kidney pie lovely
Jammyspudegg: steak and kidney even better
Jammyspudegg: with lashings of gravy and mash
ManiacEyeball: spotted dick, mushy peas, biscuits
Jammyspudegg: we only do about 3 dishes well maniac
ManiacEyeball: theres a market with all this british food
that always fascinates me
Asia7384: must help when you eat
[I took all the pleasure from her I could and allowed
her to have some too, and afterward she lay in my arms,
breathing into my neck without talking on and on, something
she has never done.
Then she fidgeted, sat up, and began to yammer at me.
It was time to shut her up with some food. I escorted her
downstairs, lit candles in the silent kitchen, and opened a
bottle of a robust, spicy Spanish wine I'd been saving for
a special occaision. To make onion soup properly takes
time ...]
A Passage to Indiana:
Phezziwig13: I always wanted to leave Chicago and go
somewhere where I'd have an accent, like Indiana
We Put the Gay in UK:
Dreamkeeper15: jammy where r you from?
Jammyspudegg: Brighton UK
TravisMMVII: is Brighton the Miami Beach of England?
Jammyspudegg: LOLOLOL
Jammyspudegg: its the gay city of the UK
Godwit's That Pink Floyd Guy!:
Godwit935: How can you have any pudding if ye don't
eat yer meat!
Good For the Economy:
Phezziwig13: First of all, no one in Chicago calls
it the windy city
Phezziwig13: or chi-town
Dreamkeeper15: well im not from chicago so i have the
liberty of saying windy city
Phezziwig13: Yes, we'll smile and nod
Phezziwig13: good for the economy
Slim Whitman Warped:
Phezziwig13: We used to put our Pink Floyd records in the
sun to warp and then play then to see what we would get
Jammyspudegg: warped comfortably numb
Phezziwig13: Eventually, we moved on to other records
Phezziwig13: the best surprisingly was Slim Whitman for
reasons we are still trying to figure out
Me and Cos are Like That:
Godwit935: Did anyone see Bill Cosby on Meet the Press
today?
Godwit935: Well, Bill Cosby has written a book, apparently,
with some other guy, some professorial type, also black.
Phezziwig13: a pop up book?
Godwit935: A regular book, you know. About how the black
culture is basically sick, Phezzi.
Corn!:
Godwit935: When I used to play ball and a pop fly was hit,
on this one team, everyone would point to the sky and yell,
"Corn!" Meaning that ball is as easy to catch as a can of corn.
Can of Corn!:
Phezziwig13: I ducked a few cans of corn at the supermarket.
I dated some real hot heads
Phezziwig13: Ever try holding four can goods and catching a
fifth while saying, "Will you stop!"
Unwilling Guest:
Vanda52: i just invited people in
Various704: good vanda
Various704: hiya beys!
Vanda52: theres bey
Beysshoes: ofgs allan...you scared me
Vanda52: hmm
Beysshoes: i thought there was some crisis in here
Beysshoes: jack ASS
Fork Channeling Rono:
FORKVS MAGNVS: If you are always busy with yourself, if you
are always thinking about yourself, you don't know what the
person/people around you is/are going through.
FORKVS MAGNVS: The greatest threat facing America today -
next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark Beetle, and the
memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
FORKVS MAGNVS: do not address fork. he is no longer talking
to humans
Various704: fork has perfected rono, phronsie
Phronsie: Scary
FORKVS MAGNVS: humans are wasteful
Is She Weird 55: fork and i are best friends
FORKVS MAGNVS: I like my Truth like my coffee: Black or White.
A Conversation?:
Niontron3: nothing is funny unless it is demeaning to something
or someone..
FORKVS MAGNVS: Ice hockey is training for our eventual war
with the glaciers
Is She Weird 55: i am eating an apple
Poetry Break:
Phronsie: Across the alley from the A lamo
Phronsie: lived a pinto pony and a Navaho
Phronsie: who used to bake frijokes in cornmeal dough
Phronsie: for the people passing by
Phronsie: They thought that they would make some easy bucks
Phronsie: by washing their frijokes in Duz and Lux
Phronsie: A pair of very conscientious clucks
Phronsie: for the peole passing by.
Phronsie: One day they went a-walkin
Phronsie: Their shoes were polished bright
Waterbury Trivia:
Nomdujourxx: way, Born in Ayer, MA, raised in Waterbury, CT
BinxB91: Waterbury??? scary
Nomdujourxx: What's scary about Waterebury other than the taxes
BinxB91: New heights in political corruption
Nomdujourxx: Damnedyankee (I have been advised that is one word)
Nomdujourxx: new lows, perhaps
BinxB91: Waterbury was featured in the Jane Fonda-Robert DeNiro
movie --- Stanley & Iris
BinxB91: and War of the Worlds, I think
BinxB91: and Ken Burns used Waterbury for one of his featured
home front towns
Ta21l: which one?
BinxB91: The Tom Cruise one
Nomdujourxx: yup, and in the flood of 1955, whaich happened on the
night of the World Premiere Girl Rush, which starred a Waterbury
native, who's name I don't recall
Nomdujourxx: Jane Russell?
BinxB91: Jane Russell, for whom Howard Hughes designed a special
brasseirre
StarlightStorms: Howard was industrious.
Nomdujourxx: Walter Mitty was concieved in the lobby of the Elton
Hotel, on the green in Waterbury
Ta21l: there are so many things wrong with that thought Nom...lol
Walla! You're a lesbian!:
Godwit935: I have seen too many women become convinced they're
homosexuals. Many of them, mothers with families
MadiHolmes: God- quit convincing them, and they'll stop
Godwit935: Madi, I am just for caution. You talk to the wrong
psychiatrist, a lesbian psychiatrist, say, and boom, you "discover"
you're homosexual. After 35 years and five kids.
"a gay man would not be suffering":
Beysshoes: its been a circus in here candice
Beysshoes: the men are accusing one another of being gay...
as if any of them were that interesting.
Beysshoes: a gay man would not be suffering in this mundane
chatroom long folks.
If at First You Don't Succeed:
Gypsyjo47: I once watched a man commit suicide...
he had attempted it once and the second time he succeeded
The Patient Beysshoes:
JuggaloSkitz420: no one even fucking laughd
JuggaloSkitz420: bastards
Beysshoes: juggas dont go. it takes hours for us yahoos
to get these jokes.
Beysshoes: pls be patient
The Wonder Boys:
FORKVS MAGNVS: mr. fork wears sweatpants that say "JUICY"
on the rear end
ParaMyrrh: ME TOO!
Re-Name it Rono World:
Creepy Loner: And here comes the cut-and-paste "I don't understand
when someone is being sarcastic" hour
Vanda goes to bed early, PatientOnion must
be actually cooking, Rono has totally
flipped and the fall TV season has started.
Who Does Nagual Love?:
Phezziwig13: Anybody know what happened to Nagual?
Niontron3: Fezi, I was wondering that myself
Catpower777: Para, you talk to Nags, don't you?
ParaMyrrh: Cat, he can't stand me
LeslieHapablap: nagula4a adores me.
Catpower777: Para, I find that hard to believe
ParaMyrrh: Cat believe it
ParaMyrrh: Not everyone loves me
Catpower777: shocking
To Gong Li, on her 37th birthday:
ShhJm: Asian women are very beautiful, then they hit
about 35, they turn into a bag of smashed cornholes
Asking the Tough Questions:
LeslieHapablap: hi, condorblue, what are you wearing?
Condorblue: I'm wearing white socks, green pants, and
a long sleeve shirt that says Cal State fullerton(my
alma mata)
FORKVS MAGNVS: green pants?
Phezziwig13: Maybe he golfs
LeslieHapablap: condorblue is mr. green jeans.
Condorblue: I'm just going to watch House, the only tv
show that I watch regularly
FORKVS MAGNVS: green pants sounds very peculiar
FORKVS MAGNVS: and why are pants plural?
BinxB91: thank you for saying regularly and not
"on a regular basis"
LeslieHapablap: spoony is turning into seinfeld.
Condorblue: fork, it looks like your asking the
tough questions
Asking the Seinfeld Questions:
BlDET: why is something open
BlDET: and closed
BlDET: but never opened and close
LeslieHapablap: now bidet is channeling seinfeld.
Rivited:
Gypsyjo47: Did anybody watch that football game last night?
I was rivited and I am not even a football fan
Condorblue: gypsy, I turned the channel and was stunned
to hear the cowboys pulled it out
Condorblue: but I difinitely think the cowboy qb was high
The Great Mentioners:
ShhJm: ever know someone that flunked out of a big college
in the first semester but still goes on to support the sports
teams and constantly mention that he went to that college?
Why Are They Shoving This Time?:
BlDET: hey gypsy - we were at the fair yesterday, and i had
my hair tucked under one of my husband's hats - a white and
blue hat with a big red buffalo on it
LeslieHapablap: bidet the jew channeler.
ShhJm: bidet is a mess
BlDET: i couldn't figure out why people kept shoving me
Mr Bidet Attacked by a Cock:
BlDET: we have 3 chickens who we let stay broody too long,
and they're nuts
BlDET: one of them attacked my husband the other day
Beysshoes, Still Sad:
Beysshoes: we had a dynamite workshop...the guy who wrote
for Jay Leno was leading
Catpower777: did he make you funny again, Bey?
Beysshoes: no. sadly.
No Room For Discussion:
Creepy Loner: Jam, rest assured, I'd sooner die at this
point than end up in another relationship with a man.
When I Want to be Alone:
Phezziwig13: Whatever happened to the Battlestar Galactica
room? I used to go there when I felt like being alone
English Cuisine:
Asia7384: only the English would come up with both the
terms 'stones' and 'kidney'
Asia7384: and then put them together
Jammyspudegg: kidney pie lovely
Jammyspudegg: steak and kidney even better
Jammyspudegg: with lashings of gravy and mash
ManiacEyeball: spotted dick, mushy peas, biscuits
Jammyspudegg: we only do about 3 dishes well maniac
ManiacEyeball: theres a market with all this british food
that always fascinates me
Asia7384: must help when you eat
[I took all the pleasure from her I could and allowed
her to have some too, and afterward she lay in my arms,
breathing into my neck without talking on and on, something
she has never done.
Then she fidgeted, sat up, and began to yammer at me.
It was time to shut her up with some food. I escorted her
downstairs, lit candles in the silent kitchen, and opened a
bottle of a robust, spicy Spanish wine I'd been saving for
a special occaision. To make onion soup properly takes
time ...]
A Passage to Indiana:
Phezziwig13: I always wanted to leave Chicago and go
somewhere where I'd have an accent, like Indiana
We Put the Gay in UK:
Dreamkeeper15: jammy where r you from?
Jammyspudegg: Brighton UK
TravisMMVII: is Brighton the Miami Beach of England?
Jammyspudegg: LOLOLOL
Jammyspudegg: its the gay city of the UK
Godwit's That Pink Floyd Guy!:
Godwit935: How can you have any pudding if ye don't
eat yer meat!
Good For the Economy:
Phezziwig13: First of all, no one in Chicago calls
it the windy city
Phezziwig13: or chi-town
Dreamkeeper15: well im not from chicago so i have the
liberty of saying windy city
Phezziwig13: Yes, we'll smile and nod
Phezziwig13: good for the economy
Slim Whitman Warped:
Phezziwig13: We used to put our Pink Floyd records in the
sun to warp and then play then to see what we would get
Jammyspudegg: warped comfortably numb
Phezziwig13: Eventually, we moved on to other records
Phezziwig13: the best surprisingly was Slim Whitman for
reasons we are still trying to figure out
Me and Cos are Like That:
Godwit935: Did anyone see Bill Cosby on Meet the Press
today?
Godwit935: Well, Bill Cosby has written a book, apparently,
with some other guy, some professorial type, also black.
Phezziwig13: a pop up book?
Godwit935: A regular book, you know. About how the black
culture is basically sick, Phezzi.
Corn!:
Godwit935: When I used to play ball and a pop fly was hit,
on this one team, everyone would point to the sky and yell,
"Corn!" Meaning that ball is as easy to catch as a can of corn.
Can of Corn!:
Phezziwig13: I ducked a few cans of corn at the supermarket.
I dated some real hot heads
Phezziwig13: Ever try holding four can goods and catching a
fifth while saying, "Will you stop!"
Unwilling Guest:
Vanda52: i just invited people in
Various704: good vanda
Various704: hiya beys!
Vanda52: theres bey
Beysshoes: ofgs allan...you scared me
Vanda52: hmm
Beysshoes: i thought there was some crisis in here
Beysshoes: jack ASS
Fork Channeling Rono:
FORKVS MAGNVS: If you are always busy with yourself, if you
are always thinking about yourself, you don't know what the
person/people around you is/are going through.
FORKVS MAGNVS: The greatest threat facing America today -
next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark Beetle, and the
memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
FORKVS MAGNVS: do not address fork. he is no longer talking
to humans
Various704: fork has perfected rono, phronsie
Phronsie: Scary
FORKVS MAGNVS: humans are wasteful
Is She Weird 55: fork and i are best friends
FORKVS MAGNVS: I like my Truth like my coffee: Black or White.
A Conversation?:
Niontron3: nothing is funny unless it is demeaning to something
or someone..
FORKVS MAGNVS: Ice hockey is training for our eventual war
with the glaciers
Is She Weird 55: i am eating an apple
Poetry Break:
Phronsie: Across the alley from the A lamo
Phronsie: lived a pinto pony and a Navaho
Phronsie: who used to bake frijokes in cornmeal dough
Phronsie: for the people passing by
Phronsie: They thought that they would make some easy bucks
Phronsie: by washing their frijokes in Duz and Lux
Phronsie: A pair of very conscientious clucks
Phronsie: for the peole passing by.
Phronsie: One day they went a-walkin
Phronsie: Their shoes were polished bright
Waterbury Trivia:
Nomdujourxx: way, Born in Ayer, MA, raised in Waterbury, CT
BinxB91: Waterbury??? scary
Nomdujourxx: What's scary about Waterebury other than the taxes
BinxB91: New heights in political corruption
Nomdujourxx: Damnedyankee (I have been advised that is one word)
Nomdujourxx: new lows, perhaps
BinxB91: Waterbury was featured in the Jane Fonda-Robert DeNiro
movie --- Stanley & Iris
BinxB91: and War of the Worlds, I think
BinxB91: and Ken Burns used Waterbury for one of his featured
home front towns
Ta21l: which one?
BinxB91: The Tom Cruise one
Nomdujourxx: yup, and in the flood of 1955, whaich happened on the
night of the World Premiere Girl Rush, which starred a Waterbury
native, who's name I don't recall
Nomdujourxx: Jane Russell?
BinxB91: Jane Russell, for whom Howard Hughes designed a special
brasseirre
StarlightStorms: Howard was industrious.
Nomdujourxx: Walter Mitty was concieved in the lobby of the Elton
Hotel, on the green in Waterbury
Ta21l: there are so many things wrong with that thought Nom...lol
Walla! You're a lesbian!:
Godwit935: I have seen too many women become convinced they're
homosexuals. Many of them, mothers with families
MadiHolmes: God- quit convincing them, and they'll stop
Godwit935: Madi, I am just for caution. You talk to the wrong
psychiatrist, a lesbian psychiatrist, say, and boom, you "discover"
you're homosexual. After 35 years and five kids.
"a gay man would not be suffering":
Beysshoes: its been a circus in here candice
Beysshoes: the men are accusing one another of being gay...
as if any of them were that interesting.
Beysshoes: a gay man would not be suffering in this mundane
chatroom long folks.
If at First You Don't Succeed:
Gypsyjo47: I once watched a man commit suicide...
he had attempted it once and the second time he succeeded
The Patient Beysshoes:
JuggaloSkitz420: no one even fucking laughd
JuggaloSkitz420: bastards
Beysshoes: juggas dont go. it takes hours for us yahoos
to get these jokes.
Beysshoes: pls be patient
The Wonder Boys:
FORKVS MAGNVS: mr. fork wears sweatpants that say "JUICY"
on the rear end
ParaMyrrh: ME TOO!
Re-Name it Rono World:
Creepy Loner: And here comes the cut-and-paste "I don't understand
when someone is being sarcastic" hour
posted by KatyTried | 10:31 AM
9 Comments:
OMG I loved the excerpt. Please do tell me what book this one is taken from.
I think your addition of the excerpts are such an interesting and colorful vining of the column. Luce` Socks
So Mr. Tried: This excerpt was the most hysterically funny thing I'd ever seen you line in ever ... and you are such a tightass you won't clue me in on where you got this yes? Bastid.
Oh Various was so pissed about that gay thing!!
Oh Boo ... all I asked for was the title. You are simply the sweetest. I just returned from the post office. sigh ... I heart them. xox Sarai
Oscar are you sulking? boy george ... S
Hi guys, have I found a reading club for chat/discussion of fellow book readers? Or is there a site that I can go and register on?
Hey Readerman, Roger the lawyer on our site built some regal bookshelves in his law offices, I believe. That was last year and about the last time I remember any remark bearing a modicum of our bloggery namesake mentioned. Please do let us know if and when you find that chat yes? Very Truly, Sarai
go fuck yourself you cum-guzzling cocksucker!! you truly are pathetic
You say " ... cum-guzzling cocksucker" like somethings wrong with that. Whats wid dat? Oof. What a boring pussed filled drag you be after only 2 postings. P.S. Welcome to the bookshelf. A few of your inbred cousins are here.
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