HILLARY and the Rock Bottom Remainders


I'm Orem, Fly Me:

LadyMtnMedic: ok, this guy on tv says he is
a Gay Mormon Flight Attendant
LadyMtnMedic: how is that possible?


Ta's Family:

Niontron3: people in life don't speak their minds
Niontron3: but deep inside people hate each others
Ta21l: if you really think that Rono, you should
come to my next family reunion


How Tom Cruise Attracts Tall Women:

Jhd730: I don't think I could ever date a man shorter than me
Creepy Loner: I have...that's rather fun sometimes.
The guys that are shorter than you that have the sack to ask
you out...they can be characters.
Jhd730: I don't see how Tom Cruise attracts those tall women
ParaMyrrh: Jo story is he's hung like a Horse
LynBelle: Tom has a big one?
ParaMyrrh: yeah
Jhd730: actually the shortest guy I dated 5'9 has the biggest
you know what I had ever seen
Creepy Loner: Para - So? He'd better have some great talent for
head...hung like a horse doesn't always cut it.
Creepy Loner: Well, not for me...I guess I shouldn't speak for
every woman.
LynBelle: Jo, how big?
ParaMyrrh: there's a scene in a few films and he's huge
Phronsie: Loner quite so
ParaMyrrh: Creepy, Im a guy with an average sized penis
I could care less
Jhd730: hurtful big
ParaMyrrh: "hurts so good"?
LynBelle: wait a minute, they show Tom Cruise naked in a movie?
Jhd730: you can see it in Magnolia
Phronsie: bull. Not always
ParaMyrrh: Lyn, in "All the Right Moves" he has a sex scene
with Leah Thompson and you see a glimpse and it's huge
ParaMyrrh: and in Magnolia the outline
Phronsie: Para, I"m wondering if you're gay.
ParaMyrrh: JUST NOW?
LynBelle: what do you consider huge?
Creepy Loner: Para - I'll have to check out the former...
the latter he could have been stuffing.
Jhd730: lol Kal even knows the movies with "the outline"
Phronsie: YOu're kind of obsessing about Cruise's dick
Creepy Loner: True.
Jhd730: I think Kevin Bacon though has a bigger one


Hillary Surprises Her Dad:

Is She Weird 55: OMG when i was in fifth grade i went
in the AA chat...
Is She Weird 55: and i was like "hi i'm drunk"
Is She Weird 55: and my dad got mad
Prospect26: Is...you were drunk in the fifth grade?



Vegging Out:

Condorblue: the potato is a masculine vegetable,
the tomato feminine
Is She Weird 55: tomato's are fruits
Is She Weird 55: you're an idiot
Jhd730: Condor, you are an eggplant
Condorblue: tomatos are vegetables
Is She Weird 55: no they arent
Condorblue: jhd, you are a chowder head
Creepy Loner: I hate to say it, but Weird is right.
Tomatoes are fruits.
Is She Weird 55: hahahaha
Various704: the eu cant decide if the tomato is a fruit
or veg. there have been serious debates. men have died.
CordialCactus: lots of things that we think of as vegetables
are actually fruit
Condorblue: if tomato were a fruit, we would put it in ice
cream, but we don't!
Condorblue: we put it in our salads, because it is a vegetable
Creepy Loner: For all I know, there is tomato ice cream...
Is She Weird 55: if tomatoes were fruits, which they are,
they would have seeds, which they do
Creepy Loner: I'll have to check Whole Foods.
CordialCactus: a fruit comes from the flower of the plant
Various704: there is bacon and egg ice cream. are they fruits?
CuziKnowYou: various...no one in here has heard of or eaten
bacon egg ice cream so
Various704: so?
Jhd730: I can't abide this fruit/not a fruit line of chat..goodnight


Because He's Not Human?:

Niontron3: I miss TOC
Niontron3: I don't know why


The Girl Scout and the Hot French Guy:

Is She Weird 55: i met a french guy in paris.
at musee d'orsay. he was so hot. he asked me for drinks.
but i couldnt...i am in girl scouts. but anyway, that's
not the point. he never responded to my e-mail
Niontron3: is he, tells me the details
Niontron3: of your talking with him
Is She Weird 55: about the french guy?
Niontron3: I iwll tell you why
Fairywing3: he probably decided he shouldn't mess with jailbait
Niontron3: didn't email you
Is She Weird 55: okay...it started out by me sitting down on
the floor at musee d'orsay
Is She Weird 55: i started looking around...and suddenly i
saw a guy at the coat check with curley brown hair and emo
glasses. he also had an eyebrow ring and he was skinny and
had a nice sweater vest and pants on


What is A Hootie?

Beysshoes: bellot means tee tee in some language
Creepy Loner: Tee tee?
Forkrereredux: what is tee tee?
Beysshoes: hootie
Forkrereredux: what is hootie? blowfish?
Forkrereredux: attention everyone: BELLOT has pics!
Forkrereredux: and what is a hootie?
Beysshoes: lollllllllllllllll
Forkrereredux: WHAT IS A HOOTIE
LeslieHapablap: trbfrom nc, how was your television repeat?
what program was it?
Beysshoes: fedya is waiting for the level of convo to rise leslie
Beysshoes: he may never chat
Forkrereredux: WHAT
Forkrereredux: IS
Forkrereredux: HOOTIE
Forkrereredux: beysshoes is on pills
Ta21l: jealous?
LeslieHapablap: hopefully birth control pills.
Beysshoes: yup. its the only way to survive in here with you fork
Ta21l: amen to that Bey
Forkrereredux: fork has not drank today
Beysshoes: go drink pls
Forkrereredux: pls?
Forkrereredux: please?
Forkrereredux: why can't you spell it out?
Forkrereredux: TRB, sit down
Beysshoes: fedya is here YAY
TRBfrom NC: Fork, go away
Forkrereredux: okay
Forkrereredux: sorry
Forkrereredux: fork will leave
Beysshoes: wow its that easy?
Forkrereredux: yeah
Forkrereredux: fork is outta here
Forkrereredux: fork is itchy
KevinsAlias: Bey...he didn't say WHEN he's leave...


[ I bent over and crashed into his ribs; he held on
to me as I pummeled him. Then he took my face in
his hands and pressed his face against mine so our
noses mashed together. He kissed me for such a
long time, and so passionately, that I thought I
might faint. I bit his lip until I thought I
tasted blood. No matter,he was disease-free.
He pulled back to look at me. "One of the senior
partners at my firm lives a block away. Can you
imagine his reaction if he walked by right now?"
I bit him again. ]


A Great Director and So Punctual:

HCSMAUI: Eastwood set records in production and always
comes in under budget
HCSMAUI: Way under budget
BinxB91: a no nonsense director??
Londoj: His piano blues film in the series blues was kind
of lame though. but then you compare him with wim wenders
well . . .
BinxB91: Maybe the actors are afraid to screw up?
HCSMAUI: Yes Binx, very, very true
BinxB91: Go ahead, flub your line. Make my day.
ParaMyrrh: my own video productions always come in way
under budget


Tough Love:

Is She Weird 55: Okay so i invited 100 people to my halloween
party and 25 people are going so far.
Phronsie: If you were my child and told me you had invited
100 adolescents to a party, I would kill you


A CSI Episode:

Is She Weird 55: i saw the flaming lips last summer
Is She Weird 55: and they had huge balloons and lots of confetti
...and people were on stage with santa costumes
Phronsie: How much hearing loss, I wonder?
Is She Weird 55: like rolling stones...the symbol of the tongue
Max 314159265358: and animal costumes
Ameliae1998: does anyone like pj harvey?
Is She Weird 55: yah...they were wearing costumes too
Max 314159265358: and everyone played the role of the animal
and had unprotected sex that night
LeslieHapablap: i love "rid of me".
Max 314159265358: I may have read about it on Pitchfork
Phronsie: Sounds like a CSI episode
Max 314159265358: it was a CSI episode


Short Little Span of Attention:

ManiacEyeball: why would you tell people not to look at a
picture you've posted voluntarily
ManiacEyeball: that's insane.
Ameliae1998: i don't know
Max 314159265358: maybe you're drunk or stoned or both?
Ameliae1998: it is the only digital i have
ManiacEyeball: oh well. i just found out pizza cures cancer.
DreamsToGoToday: and scissors cuts paper


Diva Landlady:

BinxB91: Hillary, you could study journalism at UAB and board
with Phronsie
Is She Weird 55: no
Is She Weird 55: i want to go to OU
Phronsie: uh, somehow I don't see that ,Binx
BinxB91: you don't take in boarders?
Phronsie: no
Phronsie: I've done that before and learned my lesson
Phronsie: I had a student living in my house from about 89-91
Is She Weird 55: oh hey! i just found a york peppermint patty
Is She Weird 55: and i am eating it
Phronsie: it didn't work out well
Phronsie: It turned out he was the adult child of an alcoholic
Phronsie: and was himself an alcoholic, a druggie, schizophrenic
and gay
Various704: are you reading my resume phronsie?
TRBfrom NC: phronise, i'd say he had a few problems
Gypsyjo47: Phrons besides that, what bad character traits did
he have?
Phronsie: TED, I'm ashamed to admit that the reason I kicked him
out was that he didn't come to see my one-woman play


Weirder Than a Mormon Cult:

Prospect26: I am married to an Eagle Scout plus two palms...



They Can't Press Charges As Easily:

Niontron3: and you are 17?
Is She Weird 55: yes i am 17
Niontron3: I've had better luck with older women


Funny Is As Funny Does:

Beysshoes: yeah well, its not funny.
Phronsie: lollollollollol
Beysshoes: sheesh, you're like insane