Labor Day of Love:


Asking Advice of Icky People:
LeslieHapablap: where is a good place to buy
a quilt that i will like?!?!


Who's Hot:

Creepy Loner: There was a man that would come into
the Starbucks I worked at, order a drink with five
shots of espresso in it, steal a newspaper and take
his drink into the bathroom. He'd then sit in there
and crap for about an hour.
Creepy Loner: I didn't like my time there.
Forkrereredux: that's hot
Creepy Loner: He seemed to think it was hot, too.


We all might be Bidet's neighbor:

BlDET: you've got to target your audience
Godwit935: Maggot.
BlDET: dogtwit!
Godwit935: Maggots.
BlDET: dogtwit might be my neighbor


I am not a maggot:

Stormy2610: Do I have to be a maggot too? I've never
been here before...
Godwit935: Stormy, I don't know you. You might be okay.
Stormy2610: I'm not a maggot. Take my word for it.
BinxB91: Stormy, don't bother with Godwit.
He's a cranky old man
Godwit935: Binx, Stormy might have his own mind, ya never know.
Stormy2610: Um...Stormy has a mind and a vagina, not a penis


Reading is FUNdamental:

Godwit935: Leslie, I saw the Reading Phillies in Reading,
Pa. AA team, part of Phils farm system.
Forkrereredux: lol reading


They shoot hot dogs, don't they?:

Godwit935: I like it when the guy comes out with the
hot-dog gun and shoots foil-wrapped hot dogs into the crowd.
Forkrereredux: mr. fork does not like that
LeslieHapablap: godwit935, what do you like about it?
Forkrereredux: godwit, what are you wearing tonight?
Godwit935: And I like looking at all the women, many of
whom are dressed provocatively.
Stormy2610: I don't think I'd like to see a hot dog
flying at me...
LeslieHapablap: i do not like objects being shot at me,
including hotdogs.
Stormy2610: Maybe a keilbasa


Pun of the Month:

Forkrereredux: fork is pansexual
Stormy2610: Just keep a lid on it.


Wrong Romm, Godwit:
Godwit935: I liked when Susan Sarandon washed herself with
the lemon juice.


(sniffle):

BinxB91: hello C'Loner
BinxB91: Save us from ouselves
Creepy Loner: I...I can't...
Creepy Loner: That would be something kind of like a job.
BinxB91: What did you find more interesting than us???
Creepy Loner: Nothing, truth me told...I was looking at
the KatyTried thing.
Creepy Loner: Blah.


If you are able:

Godwit935: Some of the greatest moments in life, if you
are able, are throwing baseballs.
Creepy Loner: My ex used to make me watch baseball...and
baseball movies.
Godwit935: The flight of a ball leaving your hand is one
of the most beautiful experiences in life. If you are
able, I mean.


(sniffle):

BinxB91: Hello BookSlut
BinxB91: what are you reading that's light???
BooksIut: Your posts.


(WHAAAAA);
Stormy2610: Wow...Binx is fountain of knowledge!
BooksIut: More like a leaky faucet, Stormy.


Popped:

Max 314159265358: I am slightly disturbed as why there's
an 8 digit differene between houses
Max 314159265358: 16 if I look at 3
BinxB91: huh?
Creepy Loner: Okay...I think some fuse in Max's head has
finally popped.


Rams:

Creepy Loner: There's a gang of sheep that live pretty close
to me. One of them has a long tail and it will twirl its tail
wildly sometimes.
BinxB91: It's not a gang ... it a flock
Creepy Loner: This is a gang.
Creepy Loner: They're mean...and wear colors.
BinxB91: ah, black sheep
Forkrereredux: the one twirling might be a the alpha sheep
Bry4180: Creepy, are you a professional sheep herder?
Max 314159265358: I prefer fuschia
Creepy Loner: I want to throw apples at them.
BinxB91: alpha sheep are rams
Forkrereredux: do it!
Creepy Loner: I don't make any money.
Creepy Loner: I'm not a professional anything.
Forkrereredux: fork once sprayed binaca in a horse's mouth


The Wrong Homework helper:

AforAllie: I need some help desperately
Forkrereredux: fork is here to help
AforAllie: does anyone have Word 2007?
Forkrereredux: oh yeah, fork has that
AforAllie: I have a team paper due in an hour,
and I can't read the file
Creepy Loner: Umm...I think you're doomed.


Fan Clubs:
ShhJm: jesus is like elvis, I love both of them,
but the fan clubs freak me out a bit


For the Ambiance:

CordialCactus: brb avec libation
CordialCactus: back with booze...but just a little
Creepy Loner: Tell me about your booze.
CordialCactus: kahlua, vodka, half and half and a dash
of cinnamon on top.. served in a martini glass over ice
CordialCactus: im such a girl
Creepy Loner: Well...more elaborate than mine.
BinxB91: gee .... you learned some tricks at that job
Creepy Loner: I'd rather have my beer.
Creepy Loner: But...meh...
Creepy Loner: Wine it is.
Max 314159265358: too much work to get a buzz
CordialCactus: i wanted to put some shaved chocolate on top
... but screw that... ill just nibble on the bar
Creepy Loner: I agree...I don't like trying to dull
myself while performing any task that borders on a
science project at the same time.
CordialCactus: its not for the buzz...its for the ambiance
...in front of my computer heh
Creepy Loner: Come on...in part it's for the buzz.
CordialCactus: yeah alright ... in part


BLT in the backwoods:

ShhJm: one time I was fishing on this backwoods lake and
the bats were hassling me and out of nowhere, this old
scooby doo man freak appears and says "be careful son,
those aint regular bats" so I got the fuc* out of there
LadyMtnMedic: regular bats? non regular?
LadyMtnMedic: I dont blame you
CordialCactus: eegads
ShhJm: he was standing on a dock in the middle of the
night, we were the only humans within miles
CordialCactus: the bats wouldnt have bothered me....
he would have though
ShhJm: I didnt see him til he spoke
LadyMtnMedic: sure he was human?
Pschultz4: I would have been more scared of the old guy
ShhJm: he looked like mr smithers from scooby doo


BLT as bat shit:

CordialCactus: were you real familiar with the area?
ShhJm: yes I was
Londoj: zionks!
ShhJm: but to get there, you have to endure about 5 miles
of bumpy dirt road
CordialCactus: ok...so there wasnt a little cabin tucked
away with a local who said to himself, "gonna have some
fun tonight"
Sans Label: Stop ruining the story, Cordial.
Sans Label: He nearly died that night.
ShhJm: well, to say I almost ended up in a dean koonts
situation would be fair
CordialCactus: i wasnt being properly reverant to the
gravity of the situation...i apologize
LadyMtnMedic: TG you survived!
Sans Label: Were if not for Mr. Smithers, he'd be petrified
bat excrement right now.
ShhJm: guana is you will
Sans Label: I won't.
ShhJm: as it were
CordialCactus: were it not for his fast feet he'd be
bottom feeder bait right now
Sans Label: And a coprolite to you, sir.
CordialCactus: anyway..... i like your story
CordialCactus: more interesting than any that i have
CordialCactus: i had this pet snail once


Beating up on the Amish:

LadyMtnMedic: are Amish the ones that sleep with a
board in the bed separating them?
Max 314159265358: that's no board that's his wife
LadyMtnMedic: or was that a sheet, wait, that was
the Hitterites
BinxB91: one word ----- knothole
ShhJm: i dont know their sleeping habits but they
dont use modern conveniences like electricity
BinxB91: they don't wear buttons
Pschultz4: I think they use the board before they
get married or something
ShhJm: I like to speed really fast by them and get
really close
ShhJm: I know that single amish women cant ride inside
of their carriges with men
CordialCactus: back
Creepy Loner: Thank God.
CordialCactus: binx...what question did the amish woman
ask you, do you recall?
ShhJm: I bet if I drove by and threw semen at them I
could get like 9 of them pregnant
CordialCactus: snicker
Pschultz4: Dude, lol
CordialCactus: you arent looking at the amish exhibitionists,
are you?
Max 314159265358: a knee showing?
Pschultz4: Oh baby, show the other one
CordialCactus: ha
LadyMtnMedic: Binx, even with a knothole, wouldnt guys hate
picking out slivers?
Max 314159265358: I'm more a shoulder kinda guy
CordialCactus: they are really good at sanding wood
Pschultz4: Amish spring break?
ShhJm: I bet a 30 year old amish woman can braid her pubic region
CordialCactus: hence the popularity of their furniture
BinxB91: she asked, "from which direction will the train come?"
CordialCactus: im looking at their crafts in a whole new light now
ShhJm: binx, you should have told her "from the rear"
CordialCactus: heh
BinxB91: eww
Creepy Loner: Teeheehee.
ShhJm: yes binx, appraoching a woman from the rear is gross,
I am sorry
ShhJm: I would never do that
BinxB91: no ... approaching a woman from the rear on a train
platform is gross
Creepy Loner: Unless you're a closet-case. Then it's probably
preferable.
Max 314159265358: oh please
Max 314159265358: you're payin for it
LadyMtnMedic: how is the guitar business this summer Jim?
ShhJm: binx, approaching a woman from the rear on a train
platform is one of my unfulfilled fantasies
Creepy Loner: May it stay a fantasy.
ShhJm: lady, I sold most of my guitars to buy my camper
BinxB91: having sex in public?
ShhJm: I sell medical equipment from a website now
CordialCactus: contrary to what i have been told, men
really arent all the same
CordialCactus: this i have learned in the past 3 minutes
Creepy Loner: [slight look of interest]
Creepy Loner: Oh yeah?
Creepy Loner: [sigh]
ShhJm: I bill medicare
Creepy Loner: Sorry...go on...
LadyMtnMedic: you sold your guitars for a camper,
talk about trading up
ShhJm: I sell things like diabetes testing equip, physical
therapy stuff and stuff for old people
LadyMtnMedic: wow
ShhJm: lady, I still have my kick ass guitars


"I cannot wait to have children":
BooksIut: I cannot wait to have children.
BooksIut: I will vie with my children, quoting Postwar
Jewish authors.


Sphincters:

Creepy Loner: All right - I told Binx that Bookslut is gone.
CordialCactus: wb
Creepy Loner: Hey...there he is.
Unnatural Axe: wb Binx
CordialCactus: thanks creepy
BinxB91: oh, I like BookSlut. But this a night I would have
had a bouncer carry her out
BinxB91: If this were a bar
Creepy Loner: I don't like Bookslut.
Creepy Loner: I did once, for about five minutes
BinxB91: and i was the proprietor
Unnatural Axe: she gives narcissism a bad name.
CordialCactus: i dont really dislike anyone....
i just dont understand some people, and am curious as to how and
why they are different
BinxB91: I often have crushes on women on the Shelf
BinxB91: but BookSlut is gross
Creepy Loner: I've never seen Bookslut.
BinxB91: a woman shouldn't have to say "I'm Hot"
Max 314159265358: there are women on the Shelf?
BinxB91: you just know
Unnatural Axe: usually people who say they are hot, aren't
BinxB91: C'Loner, seeing her font is seeing her
CordialCactus: that is very sagacious of you, binx
Sawdust611: true axe
Unnatural Axe: interesting how one can have a visceral
reaction to someone's font
Unnatural Axe: when I used to see Kalenfer's, my sphincters
would pucker.


Throwing miffins at crack heads:

Creepy Loner: [decides to throw a muffin at a raccoon]
Max 314159265358: Creep that's the most humane thing I've seen
you do in months
Creepy Loner: MAX; I often feed animals.
Creepy Loner: Tonight I've given them nutbread, a baguette,
and eggs. I hate eggs. And now...the muffin. Honey-oat.
Max 314159265358: Who enjoys muffins?!
Max 314159265358: You only et them when doughnuts are sold out
and you have a stick of butter
Creepy Loner: A number of animals like muffins. Raccoons are
fond of them. Possums will eat them too. So will skunks.
CordialCactus: i had 2 skunks in my garage last night
Max 314159265358: I'm in the ghetto. If I hear a garbage lid I
know it's a crackhead


Sometime Nothing's a Real Cool Hand:

LeslieHapablap: the only blog worth looking at is Vanda52's.
Jhd730: he's been a lazy blogger Leslie...I am sick of Sparky


The taste of beer(skip this if you have a weak stomach):

ParaMyrrh: I can't see how people drink beer
ParaMyrrh: Even Jhd730 says beer tastes like Semen
ParaMyrrh: Beer is hideous
Beysshoes: it does NOT taste like semen jo!
LeslieHapablap: beer is icky.
LeslieHapablap: i would never drink a beer.
LeslieHapablap: how unlady like.
ParaMyrrh: Bey How would you know?
Beysshoes: my friend donna said
LynBelle: leslie, you are getting on my nerves again
Beysshoes: lyn, go to the deux ... and you will appreciate leslie.
ParaMyrrh: drinking beer is unlady like Id never marry a
girl who drinks beer
LynBelle: lol
Jhd730: Para, you're never marrying a girl period
ParaMyrrh: Lyn seriously my mom has never imbibed it
Jhd730: and I never said beer tastes like semen
Beysshoes: para...you are like binx. he says ladies don't fart.
ParaMyrrh: Jo you lie. you said Budweiser tastes like Semen
Beysshoes: pathetic madonna complex
ParaMyrrh: Bey they do And I like that
ParaMyrrh: but beer goes too far I even like to watch
girl crap and listen to the tinkle of their micturation
it'ss such seeet music
ParaMyrrh: I also like to collect their pap smears for my
multi-media artistic works
LeslieHapablap: gross.
LynBelle: I don't even know how he thinks of this shit
ParaMyrrh: Hey Bey im gonna tell Binx what you said about him


KaL getting attention:

Catpower777: Lyn, his mind is acrobatic
ParaMyrrh: Cat who me?
Beysshoes: the james joyce of shelfers = para
Catpower777: yes, you Para
LeslieHapablap: the james joyce?
Beysshoes: cat its not egg sackly his mind thats acrobatic
LynBelle: James Joyce is a famour author twit
Jhd730: Bey Kal is more Joyce Carol Oates than anything
ParaMyrrh: Leslie James Joyce was incredibly scatological
and very onrery in his letters to Nora


Leslie sampling porn:

LeslieHapablap: creepy loner, how was the porn?
Creepy Loner: Delightful, Leslie...thanks for asking.
ParaMyrrh: people can be so mean and crass in here.
I don't understand it
Stormy2610: Like watching the female praying mantis
consume the male after she's used him?
LeslieHapablap: i enjoy "meerkat manor".
Knishofdeath: I stick to vegetarian crush porn
Knishofdeath: No--it's the only crush porn I've seen--
women stomping on fruit and vegetables


Leslie's thing for older men:

LeslieHapablap: where is godwit935?
Creepy Loner: Hiding from Fork.
Stormy2610: Why would anyone hide from Fork??
Beysshoes: honestly leslie, you miss the oddest people.


Labor Day Special:

ParaMyrrh: I love my job
Godwit935: What do you do, Para?
ParaMyrrh: seriously not to be argumentative
Godwit935: I like argument, Para, no sweat.
ParaMyrrh: I run a Tire and Auto Service Center
Jennifer Payne: there are always those few people with bad
attitudes and a negative outlook on life in general, but i
think most people in the US are thankful they can choose
a profession
Godwit935: Oh, okay, Para.
ParaMyrrh: I work between 50 to 60 hours a week
ParaMyrrh: enjoy all my employees and most of my customers
Godwit935: Para, you are an employer, an owner of a business?
Jennifer Payne: that's cool para
ParaMyrrh: God no I work for a Corp that runs over 700
tire stores in the US
ParaMyrrh: Tire and Auto Service Centers
Godwit935: Oh okay, Para. You referred to your employees,
so I thought maybe you owned a business.
Jennifer Payne: so what is the best tire brand to buy?
ParaMyrrh: Agreed I tend to think them as my employees
not as a proprietary gesture they are like family to me
Godwit935: Sure, Para. So what's the best brand?
ParaMyrrh: Michelin
Godwit935: That doesn't sound right to me, Para.
StarlightStorms: it is, Wit
Godwit935: You ask any paint store owner what is the best
brand of paint, and he wouldn't answer like that.
ParaMyrrh: hands down in every genre be it truck tire,
sedan, mid performance or high performance
Godwit935: No, Michelin is not necessarily the best brand,
of course not.
ParaMyrrh: Nobody makes tires better than Michelin
Jennifer Payne: sounds like you are just here to argue with
people, godwit
Godwit935: That's baloney, Parar.
ParaMyrrh: Through experience I know for a fact Michelin
is the best brings the most satisfaction has less problems
best traction, smoothest ride, longevity
ParaMyrrh: nothing beats Michelin in any category


Let's not forget:

Godwit935: Let's not forget how organized labor created the holiday.
BinxB91: "Give us a holiday or we go on strike, you running dogs"
Godwit935: Fighting American workers, yes.
Godwit935: Rich off our backs.
Jennifer Payne: someone sounds bitter
Godwit935: Jennifer, you think it's unusual?
Jennifer Payne: bitterness?
Godwit935: Yes.
Jennifer Payne: fairly
Godwit935: It's normal for an American worker to be bitter,
Jennifer, if he has worked a good long time.
Jennifer Payne: i wouldn't say bitterness is the norm
Godwit935: Jennifer, you must not have worked for very long.
Jennifer Payne: what do you do
Godwit935: I'm a writer, Jennifer, what do you do?
Jennifer Payne: i've done all kinds of things, now a graphic
designer
Godwit935: Do you think you are a good graphic designer, Jennifer?
Jennifer Payne: definitely
Godwit935: How do you know, Jennifer?
Jennifer Payne: wouldn't do it otherwise
Godwit935: Well, you can't stand out good, can you, Jennifer.
Godwit935: I mean, start out.
Jennifer Payne: no one starts out at their best
Jennifer Payne: why do you assume i'm starting out?
Jennifer Payne: because i'm not bitter?
Godwit935: So, at some point, Jennifer, you do work that you
think maybe you don't do well.
Godwit935: I didn't assume you were starting out, Jennifer.


Arguing and Sex are cool:

Trobertson304: argueing is cool
ParaMyrrh: I love arguing too
ParaMyrrh: it's healthy
Trobertson304: and the make up sex is the bees knees

[To live without self-respect is to lie awake some
night, beyond the reach of warm milk, phenobarbital,
and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting the
sins of commission and omission, the trusts betrayed,
the promises subtley broken, the gifts irrevocably
wasted through sloth or cowardice or carelessness.
However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down
alone in that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one
we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it
depends, of course, on whether or not we respect
ourselves]

Mmmm ... the smell of book bags:

CordialCactus: the smell of fall....mmmm...
Trobertson304: i would rather be pleasently surprized
than sorely dissappointed
CordialCactus: heh.. i can see that
Trobertson304: and after seeing some of the chicks in class
i believe there is a god
Trobertson304: as stupid as it is i was excited to go
through my new school books
Godwit935: I don't think that's stupid at all, Trob.
CordialCactus: lol not stupid.....next year i will have
one child in kindergarten and one a senior in high school,
still get excited over the smell of school supplies
Trobertson304: i love the smell of my new backpack...lol
Trobertson304: ive been out of school for over 10 years
Godwit935: Trob, I hope you get in there and tear the ass
off the elephant, as they say.
CordialCactus: apparently, by looking at the lasxt 4 comments
that i have made, i am highly in tune to my olfactory senses


Confess!:

Vanda52: she hates you and blt
Beysshoes: i didn't do nuttin to her
ShhJm: I did lots of stuff to her


(they'll be back together next week):

ShhJm: well, she's a bitter old festering boil on the
ass of mankind, she's really fat and she smells like
a chilidog, she is miserable and loves to let
everyone know, she is a cross between aunt bea with
down syndrome and a rampaging ele


Are you in an overcoat too?
BooksIut: I touch myself thinking about Celan in an
overcoat with astrakhan.


Shelfer of the Month:
CordialCactus: so there are other postings on this blog
.... i just get katytried, which i thoroughly enjoy, btw