The BookShelf Blues


Hard-up for material so: The Origin of Truck Patch:

Godwit935: Jam, I heard a gardening-related tidbit
the other day which I had not heard before. Do you
know the origin of the term, truck patch?
Vanda52: a small patch a farmer could transport
on a truck?
Vanda52: the produce
Vanda52: and sell from the truck
Godwit935: Well, the way I was told it, Jam, the truck
patch is for vegetables not for your household. You put
in on your truck, or the truck of someone else, so it
can be sold.
Jam7604801: makes sense wit
Vanda52: basically what i said god
Godwit935: It makes perfect sense, right, Jam. I never
knew the origin of the term, although I have heard it
for lots of years.


Dependent on the Hamlet thing:

Gypsyjo47: I can't agree with you about pot...I know a
man who smoked pot daily who played Hamlet in a theatre
performance, over 2,000 lines, and never once stumbled
on a single word. I bet many people who never touched
the stuff couldn't
ShhJm: ok gypsy, base your entire view on one guy doing
one thing, thats the smart way to go about it, he
probably depended on the Hamlet thing to buy his pot


Anti-Dog Lovers:

ParaMyrrh: I think every American should donate their
domesticated Cat or Dog to poor nations like North Korea
and The Sudan where people are starving
Vanda52: spark could easily feed a small tribe in
darfur for a few months of dog stew



Fresh Clothes:

Bludahlias: anyone ever want to just throw out all their
clothes and start over? I have so much shit and half of
it doesnt fit. If i had less, i could find what i
fucking need.
Vanda52: actually blu, i have done just that in the past,
tossed out everything clothing-wise i owned and bought
new stuff, of course all i own is casual stuff
Bludahlias: i dont someone elses clothes that they fart in
Jhd730: blu, do you make sure the clothes you buy weren't
tried on before you?
Jhd730: I always try clothes on, then when I buy I go back
to the rack to get the freshest one
ParaMyrrh: Jo do they allow women to try on underwear?
PatientOnion3: I refuse to buy clothes that somebody hasn't
farted in


emmm ... That New Clothes Smell:

JaneH56: my daughter in law washes everything new before she
wears it.
Beysshoes: jane, you don't? oof
Jhd730: I don't Jane..I like that new smell and look..you can't
replicate that fresh from the child slave labor mills



Beysshoes, feeling she's back in 8th grade:

ParaMyrrh: hey Bey there is a new show about asian women
dating men "Slant Eyes for the Straight Guy"
Beysshoes: thats nice para. thx for telling me.


Who Misses You Most:

Max 314159265358: Hello
Max 314159265358: I need a cigarette
Jhd730: Hi Max..I've missed you more than
LesleiHapawhatever ever says she does



Shelf Break-ups:

BinxB91: Para used to call Jo ann and leave messages on her
answering machine
Jhd730: Binx, he'd sing me messages too..creeped my family out
ParaMyrrh: Binx I am proud of that
ParaMyrrh: Once Jo and I were considered friends and she
tolerated my phone calls and messages
Beysshoes: binx used to sing to me. but he doesn't any more.

BinxB91: I thought your children we're rolling on the floor
PatientOnion3: your children have wheels?
Jhd730: binx Kal and I had a falling out...he's a pussy and I
no longer allow him to call..he knows why and agrees
ParaMyrrh: Jo cost me so much money in lost sports bets


Keeping Order:

Jhd730: i hated when people would bring kids into my salon
for haircuts..I'd keep a box of dried apricots in my drawer..
the first thing I'd do after I got a kid in my chair would
be to show them that box
Jhd730: I'd tell them they were the ears of all the kids who
didn't sit still while I cut their hair



Depends on the Music:

Max 314159265358: These things are creepy yet I can't turn away
Jhd730: Max, would you date a one armed legless woman?
Max 314159265358: Depends on the music
ParaMyrrh: Jo same side? or one left one right?



"I was looking up blond vagina":

Vanda52: i was looking up blonde vagina on the web this
morning and came onto an ad in craiglist (for real)
for a vagina attached to a body born in 1985, and it
went on to describe the vagina and said picture
Vanda52: s are available
Vanda52: whats that all about?
BinxB91: you were looking up blond vagina??? huh?
Vanda52: sure binx and heres why
Vanda52: this morning in a store there was this youngish
german female in a bikini, she was a blond with a german
accent, i was looking for her(maybe) and thats about when
I decided I need to get some pussy



Tricking Lyn into Confessing:

Jhd730: I didn't realize how much power my pussy had until
Sept 25, 1981
Jhd730: no that was the date I relaized how much power my
pussy held...men just want sex
Jhd730: he was my orthodontist..I never had to pay for my
braces
BinxB91: oh my god ....
Jhd730: Binx, it continued onto my eye doctor
Jhd730: my gyno was a female..so that sucked..had to pay
that bill
ParaMyrrh: Jo has a special health plan it's called FDMP
LynBelle: wait a minute, where were your parents during this
time? didn't they think it was strange about your orthodontist?
Jhd730: Lyn, they made me do it
LynBelle: my freebees didn't start until my divorce attorney


BlueMonk Returns:

DeadBlkDwarf912: my wife's hot cousin is staying over tonight
Jhd730: Monk has Mary kate and Ashley got too old for you?


But if Your Minister Were Handsome?:

JaneH56: yesterday evening. I had to take him to er.
He had the atrial fribullation. or however you spell.
Vanda52: did they tell him you were having an affair
with the minister jane? that would be shocking
JaneH56: what a laugh allan. my minister is a 90 lb. weakling.
Vanda52: oh
Vanda52: ok


BlueMomk Update:

DeadBlkDwarf912: i start nursing school in september
DeadBlkDwarf912: my wife's doing real estate
TRACEEBRAT: What kind of nursing?
DeadBlkDwarf912: i'm thinking anesthetics
TRACEEBRAT: get out
TRACEEBRAT: What is your kids name?
DeadBlkDwarf912: Leonidas
TRACEEBRAT: Does he have a little mohawk?
DeadBlkDwarf912: he did, yes


Try Them All:

Phronsie: The thing I disliked most about my surgery Friday
was the tube they put down my throat.
Phronsie: It left me with a sore throat all day, and I
coughted up stuff all the rest of the day
DeadBlkDwarf912: phronsie, was it fleshy with a pulse?
Phronsie: lollol. Not that I'm aware, Dead
TRACEEBRAT: I was hoarse after getting my throat squeezed
during sex
Phronsie: Tracee, it's possible to find more pleasurable sex
practices than the asphyxsiation thing
TRACEEBRAT: Phronsie, what's the most pleasurable is trying
them all
DeadBlkDwarf912: anyone want a picture of me and my son?


Tatoos I didn't Get:

JaneH56: Thank God I never got a tattoo.
BlDET: i was going to tattoo those dotted lines that
section off the cuts of meat on maps of cows
BlDET: on my body
BlDET: once
BlDET: very drunk
BlDET: very glad i didn't do that
JaneH56: lol bidet.



BlueMonk Reflection:

TRACEEBRAT: Blue, how many screennames have you had?
DeadBlkDwarf912: tracee, several
DeadBlkDwarf912: all 912
DeadBlkDwarf912: every time i get tos'd


Any Question at All:

DeadBlkDwarf912: can't sleep, any questions in here?
Ta21l: why can't you sleep?



What Women Want:

Ta21l: why do women sit there, end a relationship and
then never stop talking about that guy?
Max 314159265358: Seems like the kind of girl that'd
have a cat carcass instead of a cat


Noted:

Max 314159265358: The Halloween theme often gives me wood


Her Other Half:

Condorblue: hi creepy loner, nice to have you here
Condorblue: say hi to creepy socialite


Movies by the Numbers:

Jam7604801: transformer and live free or die hard
has been the 2 best movies i have seen this year
Ta21l: I liked Pirates of the Carribean 3
Jam7604801: it was ok
Jam7604801: spiderman 3 was ok
Ta21l: I can't wait till 4
Ta21l: Spiderman 3 was much like XMen 3
Jam7604801: ha
Max 314159265358: I fell asleep 4 times tryin to watch POC:2
Ta21l: I had a similar problem with Hellraiser 4
Jam7604801: harry potter 5 sucked
Ta21l: why do you sound surprised by that Jam?



Sock Monkey Pajamas:

LeslieHapablap: i am fresh from the shower.
Max 314159265358: Hello
LeslieHapablap: max314159265358***
StarlightStorms: hi Max
BinxB91: so what are you wearing?
Max 314159265358: Hap**
BinxB91: max314159265358****
LeslieHapablap: sock monkey pajama bottoms and a
catalina island t-shirt.
LeslieHapablap: plus panties. of course.
LeslieHapablap: my hair is wet & there is an ocean breeze.


Thoughts on Motherhood ... WAIT!! a Naked Lady:

BinxB91: Starlight, how many children do you have?
StarlightStorms: six
BinxB91: six!!
StarlightStorms: yep 5 sons 1 daughter
CordialCactus: lol... you should be exhausted
StarlightStorms: nah
BinxB91: but hey, I am the fifth of six
StarlightStorms: I love them more than anything!
BinxB91: what number is your daughter?
CordialCactus: thats right, you were telling me about them
the other night.. one wanted to take you to italy
StarlightStorms: 5
StarlightStorms: yes
BinxB91: 5? just like me
Ta21l: I remember that
StarlightStorms: now he's relocating to Hawaii
StarlightStorms: I like snow though!
JFWaterman: The fifth daugter of a fifth daughter- got to be
some mana there.
StarlightStorms: yeah I'm sure my hubby would have liked to
have seven sons
BinxB91: Star, is your husband confused having a daughter?
StarlightStorms: he's very happy
StarlightStorms: she's so spoiled
StarlightStorms: but, very kind
Max 314159265358: Once you get more than 2 kids where does
the Joy come in?!
StarlightStorms: Max, how can you say that?
JMax 314159265358: You must've not ever had to raise children
of a factry work/Retail budget
CordialCactus: max... when you first meet this little perfect
person and they blink at you then stare
CordialCactus: there is the joy
CordialCactus: right there
StarlightStorms: You'd be surprised Max
CordialCactus: eh... im a bartender and my husband is auto parts
store manager
PatientOnion3: my naked neighbor is reading vonegutt's cat's cradle
Max 314159265358: male or female?



Leslie just back, 20 minutes after a "brb":

Max 314159265358: Anyone else have buddies who don't sign off
to get laid? They just put a brb?
LeslieHapablap: max314159265358, not to my knowledge.


Tracee's Halloween:

TRACEEBRAT: I spent a halloween at Kent.
TRACEEBRAT: I think I puked.


It's no EFFORT:

BinxB91: Beys, say hello to TRACEE in Japanese
Beysshoes: hey traceee
TRACEEBRAT: Binx, I always feel bad that you have to go
through the effort of capitalizing all my letters.



"Dear Para, some pipples might not beleebe your proses":

Beysshoes: para gets nasty with me everytime i critique his poetry.
Beysshoes: like a 2 yr old. i'm going to stop helping him already
BinxB91: Beys, you have to careful how you criticize peoples poetry
Beysshoes: i AM binx!
Beysshoes: its not like i'm getting paid!
Beysshoes: sheesh
StarlightStorms: lol
Ta21l: why...if they ask for a critique, they should expect an
honest one
Beysshoes: pro bono. and all i get is nasty back
Beysshoes: yes ta.
Ta21l: if Bey's not going to be honest, then what's the point/
BinxB91: I don't imagine ParaMyrhh(AKA KaLenfer) to be
someone who takes criticism well
BinxB91: Beys, don't take it personally. He's nasty to everyone
Beysshoes: then he should stop asking me to do reviews.


What if a co-worker is obnoxious?:

Godwit935: I have a situation to describe and would like
to hear responses. Anyone game?
Ta21l: thrill me detective
Godwit935: All right, here's the situation. You work in a
place that has profit-sharing and you see a fellow worker,
a new employee, nodding off at his work. You know that his
slacking off has an effect on productivity, and therefore
your
Godwit935: profit-sharing could be reduced. Is it proper
to report this employee's behavior to management?


Brain-washed Author Lounger:

Madam Mimi: Ive written something SO freaking good
Madam Mimi: really..... i have
Madam Mimi: my book is Sooooo good. Im gonna send it off
this month
Madam Mimi: I read it today......and it's dang gooooood
CordialCactus: well, good luck with that...or break a leg..
or something


Wives in the attic:

StarlightStorms: what are you discussing?
BinxB91: Starlight, romantic movies
StarlightStorms: ah
BinxB91: I say there aren't any ... almost
BinxB91: Ta says Dracula
StarlightStorms: Dracula is
BinxB91: I liked Jane Eyre a lot
StarlightStorms: me too!
StarlightStorms: with Orson Welles
BinxB91: I loved when Jane looks in the mirror and says
"you are a fool"
JustMe Lauren: yes, very good movie
StarlightStorms: Jane Eyre has atmosphere
BinxB91: I saw a modern version with William Hurt and
Charlotte Gainsborough
StarlightStorms: me too, it was awful
StarlightStorms: There's one with George C. Scott too
BinxB91: She was beautiful but at times odd-looking as a
governess might be
StarlightStorms: yes
BinxB91: but no woman deserves a crazy first wife in the attic
StarlightStorms: lol!
StarlightStorms: no woman deserves to have to be in the attic
BinxB91: she wore a to the ankles night gown in one scene
and that was very sexy
Ta21l: I don't know Binx...I know a few that it would be good for
BinxB91: Does every woman know where their husband's exes are?


Hmmm ...:

Godwit935: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Ta21l: nothing you haven't told her twice already
Godwit935: Ta, that is horrible of you.
Ta21l: that's the joke Godwit
Ta21l: a very old one at that
Godwit935: It's appalling, Ta.



Worth Repeating from the Blog
(Beysshoes: Chica of the Year)

NAGUAL4A: So far this conversation is written proof that
people who ‘embrace diversity’ as far as gay people go…
..really haven’t thought about it much. Or if they have
they certainly haven’t reached a logical conclusion that
they can articulate

Sarai: yah? So what? It’s only a stupid blog ya mentalcakes.