"Oh, I'm not so good"


BookShelf Poet Laureate:
DoomGrl: monkey boy kissed me in the stair well today
DoomGrl: the whole time I thought, I need a new puppy


What the Center Produces:
PatientOnion3: SF is full of loners, look at the beats in
north beach in the 50s
BinxB91: full of loners ....
BinxB91: Isn't that a paradox?
PatientOnion3: you can be a loner anywhere as long as it's
on the east/west coast, the center produces people like Jam


How Not to Look Gay:
AmberDevilRay8: You can eat anything and not appear gay, as
long as it's raw and get the blood all over your face and
hold raw chunks in the air and look up and shake your head
violently with meat in your teeth.
Jam7604801: well amber i get a little wild with the steak
knife a waitress once came to ask if i needed a refill and
she about lost a finger

Narcissus Break:
Alansueton: Binx Have you seen the picture of my butt on
my blogsite?
Alansueton: it's glorious My butt actually has a halo around it
KissMyAsterix: your butt had a religious experience?
zomcom81: hasn't everyones?

I Bet You Think This Is About You:
Gleam1946: I want to look at the graves in Arlington and count
the Stars of David


Obama's mama and W.?:
Jam7604801: i wish i could go back in time i would shoot
obamas momma in the head before she met that idiot
Ashardymon: thats a little harsh jam

Dr. Fork's Office:
Tom Brite: my dentist has beck, limbaugh, hannity and some other dude
Forkrerereredux: if fork had an office, he would play gangster rap

One More Worry:
Prospect26: I carry a gun

NRA Roast:
Pheziwig: We have the right to bear arms but I don't think the
framers of the Constitution foresaw machine guns etc.
Pheziwig: I think the shot gun and the rifle are sacred
Pheziwig: everyone gets one vote, if you know what I mean
Pheziwig: But an AK sort of stuffs the ballot box


Melo After Dark:
Melodramamama22: i once had a maroon cutlass supreme with
"holemobile" keyed into the side of it
Summers Eve L: You keyed it yourself didn't you?
Melodramamama22: lol, no
Summers Eve L: Thought it was someone else's car while
carrying your shoes?

Singles Ad of the Week:
Melodramamama22: oh dear lord. i'm getting into bed with my
ice cream sandwiches and some gay literature here in a sec


Mixed Message:
Shckltn912: i sold cars for my best friend, he was great at
his job, a real douche

Beckett's Mind?:
Shckltn912: waiting for godot was actually written with laurel
and hardy in mind

Neglected Dishes:
Pheziwig: Any ladies want to email me naked pics? Otherwise
I'm going to surf porno sites or go to bed. I'll do the dishes
tomorrow

Henson Dreams:
Shckltn912: my favorite sesame street anything was something
called 'milk crisis'

Read Between the Lines Lily:
LilysJazz: shck i've got a question. why is it that when i
enter a reading or literature room in numerous chats, no one
is ever talking about literature, books, reading, etc.?

UnFocused:
Gleam1946: Jews and Arabs never were in the news till the
Un created Israel, than the focus suddenly changed.


Ask Me Some Questions!:
Shckltn912: because i asked nicely
Shckltn912: because it's an opportunity to be nice to someone
Shckltn912: to be thoughtful
BinxB91: Lily's, it's what he does. A good question might even
blossom into a discussion
Shckltn912: and a chance to impress binx and make him jealous
LilysJazz: a discussion about what?
Shckltn912: personal matters, lily
BinxB91: Lilys!!! You ARE a fuss budget
LilysJazz: i have no knowledge of his/her personal life so i
wouldn't no were to begin
Shckltn912: lily, you're missing the point by miles
Shckltn912: which is fine, forget i asked
Shckltn912: it's just a request to ask a perfect stranger a
penetrating, thoughtful question
Shckltn912: it's an exercise in something
Shckltn912: most people are too self-involved to ask good questions
of others

Monk Stumped:
LilysJazz: really? i think people have a reason to be a little
self absorbed right now....a few of them may even be wondering
where their next meal is coming from
Shckltn912: lily, ask me some questions, please
LilysJazz: okay is this the end of days?
LilysJazz: as in the bible?
Shckltn912: no such thing
Shckltn912: and if so, who cares
Shckltn912: lily, please leave me alone
Shckltn912: someone ask me some questions, please

Well, he did ask ...:
Jam7604801: monk if you was stranded on gilligans island and the
3 women were not there which guy would you f-ck first?

Jam Unleashed
Jam7604801: ok Monk if you was in this situation what would
you do --- your dick is in a vice the handle is broke off the
vice and some smart guy greased up a pipe and shoved it up
your arse and run barbwire up in the pipe and pull the pipe
out
Jam7604801: and the tied off the barbwire and set the building
on fire and left a axe on the table by the vice what would you
do first?
Doc Whew: i hate when that happens



Portrait of an Artist as an Old Man:
Forkrerereredux: what the hell professor doesn't know how to use
email?
KissMyAsterix: he probably just doesn't want to email students
Forkrerereredux: maybe. i think it's a bunch of bs
Forkrerereredux: anyway, you'd think someone who made a career out
of james joyce could figure out how to use email
KissMyAsterix: maybe after a career of james joyce you don't want
to read anyone's email
KissMyAsterix: perhaps they cannot compare
Forkrerereredux: maybe he'd accept if i write to him in stream of
consciousness

What Fork Finds Inappropriate:
Forkrerereredux: fork's chiropractor had a very political radio show
on in the office
Forkrerereredux: fork found it inappropriate
Forkrerereredux: very right wing
Forkrerereredux: the man said liberals are very angry people
Forkrerereredux: angry over so many "injustices" that aren't actually
happening to them

Gina's Doctor:
Forkrerereredux: who puts on such a thing in a medical office?
KissMyAsterix: dr mengler?

Gina's Dating Advice:
KissMyAsterix: hard to imagine you can't get a date fork
Forkrerereredux: fork would like a hot date with Katherine Robbins
KissMyAsterix: maybe you have to ask her

No One Asked but...:
Forkrerereredux: fork has been sitting here for the last hour
with his pants off

Long Arms:
BobsurAuntTom: I like walking away from the screen

Butterfinger Bashing:
AmberDevilRay8: This Butterfinger is one-inch long.
AmberDevilRay8: Yet, they call it "fun size".
AmberDevilRay8: That should be a crime.
MsVictoriaLynn1: how much fun can that be?
Alansueton: An inch is fun! Whooopeee I am three times fun!
Catpower777: my mom says "I don't see anything fun about that"
AmberDevilRay8: What is this in a Butterfinger, anyway?
AmberDevilRay8: Fossilized sap?


and willing to tell Prospect?:
Prospect26: Is anyone here on facebook?

Mistaken for MortalCombatDoomGrl:
DoomGrl: i am not a video game

Frat Boy Forever:
Catpower777: isn't facebook what they call the directories in college?
Pheziwig: No, that was ass book

Gag:
Prospect26: Summers... I laughed yesterday when I did a face
plant in the snow.

Everyone, Check Your Driveway:
Melodramamama22: o hai, i'm in ur car eatin yer drivethru


Kurosawa Dreams:
BinxB91: I still dream in Japanese sometimes but all characters
ever say are things like "irrashaimasee" or "ohio" or "saiko"
Pheziwig: Binx, you dream in Japanese?
Pheziwig: Do the people in your dreams have lips our of sync with
their voices?

Dale Carnegie Drop-Out:
SteveIzHere8: I'm sick of being nice when people just get on my nerves.

Study Break:
Anais3233: i just finished my socialization paper
Anais3233: for sociology
Anais3233: now i'm working on my psych paper
Anais3233: which is why i'm here freak watching!
Bgrant444: Anais are you logging the chat?
Anais3233: i have worked "Burping the abc's
Anais3233: into my latest paper, thank you very much
KissMyAsterix: what's the paper on?
Anais3233: college classroom ettiquette
Anais3233: I think I might change my name to Emily Pasties.
Anais3233: instead of post.
Anais3233: ok, never mind.

The Better Half:
Neonyma: A chat room loses something when you have to have at
least half of the room on ignore. I think I'll wander along too
NomduSemiLLC: Depends on which half

Overlook Her Flaws:
Creepy Loner: I think that Paris Hilton is physically attractive
...for the most part...although she does have this "I just bit
into a turd" sneer that I can't stand.
Creepy Loner: Otherwise, very good looking.

Goals:
Forkrerereredux: fork wants a wristband with a tiger on it


Monk's Courting:
Shckltn912: my wife stalked me
Shckltn912: probably several weeks
Shckltn912: wasn't really stalking
Shckltn912: we met once, didn't exchange information
Shckltn912: couple weeks later, she showed up at my work
Shckltn912: big, corporate building - all she knew was my first
name and what i looked like
SteveIzHere8: well you're still living
Shckltn912: i happened to be leaving the building to get coffee

["I don't understand why you're trying to deny it," Rosa said.
"He was a liar. He betrayed us, he stole from us. Every time
he saw that woman, he was giving her attention and time that
was rightfully ours."
Karla considered this. Try as she might, she could not think
of herself as a victim of her father's sin. Whatever energy
her father had expended on Bernice, it had surely not been
embezzled from a finite family supply. To the extent that
Bernice had made Joel happy, it was perfectly possible that
Karla and her sister --- even her mother --- had actually
benefitted from the affair. She thought about the glowing
goodwill she had felt toward her patients, toward strangers
on the subway --- toward even Mike --- during the six weeks
that she had been with Khaled. Never had she been filled
with so much reckless magnanimity. It was one of the
discomfiting paradoxes of adultry: sin had made her a better
person.
Rosa turned her to her suddenly. "I'm sorry, Karla," she said.
"I don't why I'm giving you such a hard time. You, of all
people, don't need my lectures one being good."
Karla blushed. "Oh, I'm not so good."]

Holes:
CordialCactus: axel.. i told my daughter that when that one boy
starts picking on her and saying not nice stuff she should say
"So?"
CordialCactus: you could try that
AXELvonAUR: ha
Melodramamama22: axel, what was he mad at you about?
Melodramamama22: or was it just your general you're-breathing
type offense
Boulshevit: lol..yeah, I was married once too, Mels
Melodramamama22: welp, sometimes that IS the greatest crime.
existing.
AXELvonAUR: He thinks I interfered with one of his online affairs
years ago, so he has a permanent grudge
AXELvonAUR: And I know too much about him, and that makes him paranoid
AXELvonAUR: He's a rather nasty online Lothario
AXELvonAUR: But you can't warn women, you just have to let
them find out for themselves.
Melodramamama22: bob is a lothario? is he cute? why did no one
tell me?
Melodramamama22: dammit
AXELvonAUR: Melo, he is a playa
AXELvonAUR: Melo, go for it
Various704: hes gay, melo
EmpressZ21: ive found that about a lot of people axe
no one takes a warning
Melodramamama22: i need another playa like i need a hole in the head

Lothario to the Max:
CordialCactus: what was that movie with Lothario in the title?
CordialCactus: not Dimestore Lothario.. but along those lines
Boulshevit: The Lothario what stoled Christmas?
AXELvonAUR: how about Ditchwater Lothario
CordialCactus: hey that could be fun
CordialCactus: substitute Lothario for a word in a movie title
AXELvonAUR: The Talented Mr Lothario
AXELvonAUR: Being John Lothario
AXELvonAUR: The Last Lothario
AXELvonAUR: The English Lothario
Various704: pulp lothario
Boulshevit: Lothorio does Dallas
AXELvonAUR: Moulin Lothario
Melodramamama22: that's just wishful thinkin there
AXELvonAUR: Key Lothario
EmpressZ21: confessions of a lothario
AXELvonAUR: Diary of a Mad Lothario
EmpressZ21: paul blart mall lothario
Catpower777: good question, Var
Various704: the madness of king lothario III
AXELvonAUR: I have the impression that it is some kind of stock
character from a 17th century play
AXELvonAUR: let's look it up


Thelma and Lothario:
CordialCactus: ha, ive got one.. finally
CordialCactus: The Passion of the Lothario
Boulshevit: Var, you're ffar too coy to be a lothario
CordialCactus: man.. im going to get struck by lightning tonight
Various704: im coy?
AXELvonAUR: Bang the Lothario Slowly
AXELvonAUR: Dances With Lotharios
Boulshevit: lol..hell, I don't know
Various704: i like you man, but
Various704: its me not you
CordialCactus: Lothario VII
AXELvonAUR: Lothario Story
Boulshevit: lol..what?
AXELvonAUR: Seven Brides for Seven Lotharios
AXELvonAUR: West Side Lothario
AXELvonAUR: Operation Lothario
Fifi LeBeouf: :looks up to the bleachers:
AXELvonAUR: Front Page Lothario
CordialCactus: The Lothario King, The Little Lothario, Toy Lothario,
Jungle Lothario, Beauty and the Lothario
Boulshevit: So we do understand each other..lol
Various704: lothario, go home
Melodramamama22: i like that one best var
AXELvonAUR: Various are you stoned on cheap beer?



Noted:
Niontron3:I wouldn't date a short animal doctor



Remembering TooHotDVM(Binx's Obsession):
BinxB91: TooHot posted Bidet's picture several years back
BIDET LIVES: did i look fat in that one?
LadyMtnMedic: Binx why do you still obssess over her?
BinxB91: But you told us how TooHot went on and on about
how great your ass looked
BinxB91: obsess? TooHot was very entertaining
BinxB91: and she could be teased and never got mad
LadyMtnMedic: not really Binx
Niontron3: toohot was a christian fanatic
Niontron3: I like a moderate christians
BinxB91: well, i thought she was funny ... and when she got
tiresome I just stopped reading any maroon font
BIDET LIVES: oh that picture at the restaurant of both of us?
LadyMtnMedic: Hope she found happiness somewhere out there
BIDET LIVES: i was pregnant in that picture
BinxB91: so you were glowing
BIDET LIVES: lady?
BIDET LIVES: she married a gay man
BIDET LIVES: but first he got her pregnant somehow
LadyMtnMedic: what? no!
BIDET LIVES: yes
BIDET LIVES: a gay drug user
LadyMtnMedic: one of her church buddies?
BIDET LIVES: no, but she was going to the gay church
BIDET LIVES: he wrecked a car, had his stomach pumped and went
to jail the second week they were married
CordialCactus: oh... ive heard this story
BinxB91: You know, Bidet, you have been known to invent stories
to have fun with people by
BIDET LIVES: i couldn't make this up, binx
BIDET LIVES: we used to invite her over sometimes
Creepy Loner: Sounds like something that would happen to me.
Creepy Loner: I like this person.
BIDET LIVES: we don't anymore, because this guy is so creepy -
we don't want him around the kids
BinxB91: Well, it's TooHot. Anything's possible
CordialCactus: shady
BinxB91: C'Loner, TooHot is your direct opposite. She would
never shut up
Creepy Loner: Hm.
BinxB91: She was a veterinarian in dallas. And Bidet conned
her into babysitting
BIDET LIVES: she never babysat
BIDET LIVES: are you nuts?
BIDET LIVES: she came over for dinner sometimes
BIDET LIVES: and she watched the cat while we were out of town once
BinxB91: I still have a picture of TooHot. She looked cute putting
a mortar board on her dog. All the later pictures she posted made
her look demented
LadyMtnMedic: as I said, you seem to be obssessing Binx

Paradox:
CordialCactus: creepy, i find myself wanting to offer alternate word
choices to people who use the word creepy for anything else but
talking to you
Creepy Loner: I've tried that Cord, and sometimes still do, but
there's no hope.
Creepy Loner: [shrug]


Cat Manners:
BIDET LIVES: she tried to teach the cat manners
BIDET LIVES: he was a horrible cat
CordialCactus: she was a veterinarian?
BIDET LIVES: very destructive
BIDET LIVES: she would hold him on his back and shriek NOOOOO in his
face


Trivial Pursuit:
Various704: what actor always wore the same coat in every film
AXELvonAUR: hmmm
Melodramamama22: can we have a hint?
Various704: no
AXELvonAUR: Sidney Greenstreet?
Boulshevit: James Dean
Catpower777: charlie chaplin
Various704: lassy, you dimwits
AXELvonAUR: give us a hint
Melodramamama22: chaplin sounds right
AXELvonAUR: Various got us and good
CordialCactus: various, i knew that
Boulshevit: Oh..dammit, when he said Lassie, I though he meant
it was a chick