HEY!!! Many of the Shelfers believed missing have
since made appearances!!
Beysshoes wrote this past week to say:
"I have Nora in an IM box" Given Beys' past,
I was expecting the next line to be a ransom
demand.
Bookslut has a new screen name with only an
oblique rference to sex. Good to see all
that literature has had an effect on her.
Godwit has new screen name but I can't remember
what it is.
Good to see that neither Onion nor David have
modified their screen names recently. Perhaps
budget cuts have reached the witness protection
program.
Someone claimed to have spotted CreepyLoner under
a new screen name. Like UFO sightings though, the
sighting was somewhat dubious.

Onion's Band:
Catpower777: does anyone in here have a yamaha keyboard?
PatientOnionSF: i have a dell keyboard i use for my band,
THE TYPISTS
PatientOnionSF: office waiting room muzak

Quest:
Greeneyecat10: i come here like al the time just to see if
this persom i met is here

"thought she was moisturizing":
Roojerz: The coolest ppl hang out in book shelf, to be sure
PatientOnionSF: roger, then why are you here? we are famous
authors, you are not
Roojerz: oh, someone was talking about that earlier, i thought
she was moisturizing

The Price of Fun:
Kgbirdpaul: I had fun for 5 days, then I spent 3 days in bed

Go Gentile Through the Night:
BobsurAuntTom: NonYids learn how to at least immitate a Jew
when they're in New York.

Catching the Prospect Disease:
Niontron9: I was just checking, if you guys were awake and
noticed that I said hello to a person
Niontron9: who was not here


Why Julie Avoids Office Romances:
oooolijay: it's 9:30 on sunday night. what a sad time
SteveIzHere8: you're sad?
oooolijay: i have to work in the morning
SteveIzHere8: start having sex with upper management
SteveIzHere8: and your job will become easy and fun
oooolijay: upper management is an old guy on a scooter and his
two crazy daughters

[It was sundown in Ohio and Sister Anne Aurora was doing a
special walk around her prayer circle. She didn't do it
everyday. Just when the spirit moved her. She would try to
recite the names of all the people she was praying for in
one very slow revolution, then say them one at a time for
twelve revolutions apiece. Frederick Sydney Harwood of
Berkely, California, I send you my energy and my love, I send
you stength and wisdom. In the midst of your fear I know joy
can grow and flourish. Joy can rise up from fear and overcome
it. Joy is in every atom of creation. It is life. It is
wisdom. Let it in. It wants to be with you. Strength
guards you. Strength heals you. You are not alone. You
are going to make it.
I might start writing down some of my prayers, Sister Anne
decided, stopping at the top of a prayer circle to look down
at the row of crosses, then up into the beautiful skies of
subdown. Some of them are pretty good.]


What Are You Wearing?
Roojerz: a band aid

Evie and the Boys:
KissMyAsterix: Evie!
BlackHeartedCur: Oh look the hot lesbian is back
Sleepy Eyed Evie: thanks?
BlackHeartedCur: AlanSueton put me up to that


BookSlut and the Boys:
tired faucet: My current project? To reduce writing to a seaman's
language. Short, without any unnecessary phrase.
mourning bread: tired faucet is doing what Hemingway perfected.
Speechless2009: you know all about the language of seaman, huh tired?
tired faucet: Laughing, Speechless.
tired faucet: You fuck


Gina Being Discreet:
KissMyAsterix: I met optimus prime today
KissMyAsterix: at bigboy
Forkrerereredux: really?
KissMyAsterix: yes
Forkrerereredux: that makes fork jealous
princessslayah42: wow, was he sexy miss asterix?
KissMyAsterix: sorry, he was quite nice
Roojerz: bigboy is what they call the buxom singles chat
KissMyAsterix: not as sexy as wolverine
Forkrerereredux: did you make out?
KissMyAsterix: no he was surrounded by kids
KissMyAsterix: passing out balloons
KissMyAsterix: but if it's any consolation, he was shorter
than I expected
zomcom81: making out would have been inappropriate
KissMyAsterix: especially near the salad bar zom


Reason to Go On Living:
Tom Brite: larry king is having a jonas brothers special

Sign of the Apocalypse:
Bidet Luv: i have busted out laughing several times, and
i never do that

Unclear on the Concept:
GelasiusIII: so... the whole "Book Shelf" thing, that's just never
acknowleged? lol

In the Nile:
KimberlysCabin09: ha ha im not a bot


Extemes Meet:
JLBorges912: i was drunk and/or high every day in high school
SteveIzHere8: now look at you
SteveIzHere8: you're in a chat room
princessslayah42: i tripped on acid at my prom
JLBorges912: everyone is shocked i am still alive
Alansueton: Jose I know I am
JLBorges912: much less have a hot wife and a cool car, etc.
Madam Mimi: Now look at you.......you're here with me who Never
smoked or drank.....AND graduated yr and a half before my class


[That night Mitzi Ozburt dressed in her most conservative navy
blue pleated skirt and a blue cashmere sweater with a white
collar and cuffs. She looked like a Catholic schoolgirl when
Donovan came to pick her up. She had intended to show him what
a good girl she was, but of course the sexiest thing in the world
to a Catholic man is a woman dressed in something that looks like
a school uniform. If her slip had been showing a little bit or
she had worn saddle oxfords, it might have taken less than an
hour for them to get into Mitzi's cherry four-poster bed, but
as it was they had a glass of wine and talked about feeling
guilty for a while before they made love, and vowed devotion,
and said will you marry me, and this is crazy, no it's not,
you're right, it's not, and do you want some babies, I do,
I do too.
"God forgives everything and we are not sinners," Mitzi said.
"Those old guys who want to keep people from being happy are
the sinners."
"We will live lives that are good," he said.
"And live right now," she answered. "My client, Sui Wong, is
a physicist and she says living in the present is the most
spiritual and Zen thing anyone can do. It teaches other
people to do the same, and if you can teach that to suicide
bombers they wouldn't blow themseves up."
"Amen to that."
"I am really hungry," Mitzi said. "I'd like to go somewhere
and get something to eat, and I mean fast. I haven't eaten
in days, it seems like. Could we go to a fast-food place and
get something if you don't mind?"
"We can do whatever you want."
"Come on. Get dressed. I'll show the real me."
On their way out of the house, Mitzi stopped and picked up a
handful of crackers and ate them on the way to the car.
Fifteen minutes later they were at Arby's Drive-Thru window
collecting roast beef sandwiches and Jamocha milkshakes.
They sat in the car and ate their dinners, and Donovan decided
it was like coming back from a trip to Antarctica and finding
himself in heaven instead.]



Which One of these 5 people is an imposter?:

Tom Brite: i like to watch masturbation but i feel guilty
Bidet Luv: people cannot believe i was and am a good girl
princessslayah42: i want a leg gun
JLBorges912: i like shaving my genitals
Madam Mimi: Do you guys watch Rachel Ray?


David Finds His Limits:
Alansueton: Typographically I can't do accents or the
little housetops

BabyBoomers vs Xers:
AmberDevilRay8: Long live the great baby boomers.
AmberDevilRay8: FOr giving us Vietnam and disco.
FoodSIut2: that's right i forgot 911 and hannah montana are so
much better
FoodSIut2: i am jealous
AmberDevilRay8: Don't look at me!


David Unleashed:
BinxB91: Life, name a favorite book of late
HisUnwantedLife: Jude the Obscure
Tj34: pretty good, life
Alansueton: Teej Ive had a craze for reading Plutarch lately
I started with his Moralia(Moral Essays) and now Im on to his
Lives
Alansueton: great stuff great revisit!
Tj34: i read him way long ago alan
Alansueton: Plutarch rocks
Tj34: yes, and you can't skim with him
Alansueton: seriously the fucker is like Filet Mignon steak
cooked perfctly


David's Jail House Rumination:
Alansueton: I was in jail once and the guy in the bunk next to me
(overcrowded I was on a mat on the floor) was reading the Modern
Library edition of Flaubert's "Madame Bovary"
Alansueton: it made the jail disappear we talked about Charles
Bovary and the first time he meets Emma sets her father's broken
leg
Alansueton: the scene painting it was cool


Pickled:
Niontron9: I am in a dillemma


We'll Have Intelligent Chat Later:

LadyQuasi: All that talk made me hungry.

EmpressZ21: my nieghbor called and i threw out my frozen
snickers bar dammit

LadyQuasi: My dog thinks he's a goat.

EmpressZ21: my dog ate my chair

EmpressZ21: colbert's shaved head makes his ear more sticky outty

Kan wa ma kan: can i tell y'all how excited i am about the new
smiley face bags



Anti-Immigrant:
oooolijay: i hate when al is full

New Discovery:
Kgbirdpaul: the bible has some nice prose poetry


The Anti-Panty:
CordialCactus: purchased! successful swim suit shopping
CordialCactus: and shorts and shirts and sunglasses and bras
CordialCactus: first time ive shopped just for me in FOREVER
NoraMcKee525: are you expecting the pool boy?
CordialCactus: tankinis
SteveIzHere8: I need you.
Beysshoes: cute candy
CordialCactus: almost a one piece but not
NoraMcKee525: tankinis are so CUTE
CordialCactus: its fun to say, too
CordialCactus: tankini

oooolijay absent, Gleam gets his pundit on:
Gleam1946: Dems spend money to investigate the most obscure
iterations of behaviour. It's a sickness

Super Hero:
CordialCactus: omgosh.. i rescued my neighbors cat from the
leash law police

But everything you say sounds weird:
Niontron9: as weird as it sounds, einstein is the one who made
the atomic bomb


Friday Night Fights:
LadyQuasi: Both cats ran off...there is some blood and hair on
the deck.
LadyQuasi: Hubby is cleaning up the mess.
CordialCactus: ladyQ .. big yikes


They're Out There:
Gleam1946: Emmeit Till should have not insulted a white chick

Solipism
Gleam1946: If we cant see it is not real

Gleam's Fellow Traveller:
Speechless2009: you know the french are notorious for being
cowardly homosexuals?


"please do not post me""
NOTNycgirl: its not anethma its anathema
BinxB91: oh oh, NYCgirl is back!!!
NOTNycgirl: no
NOTNycgirl: please binx do not post me
I2DaysInNovember: national anthema

Yes, it's "y":
Katie Ann 010101: upgrading spell-checker

Flip Side of Billie Jean:
Gleam1946: Listen to some M.J. Lyrics and you will learn gems
like "JEW-SUE"

New Sandwich From Sonic:
I2DaysInNovember: I had a huge epiphany today it was awesome

Liberal Bias Joke:
I2DaysInNovember: quick someone say something really stupid
NoraMcKee525: fox news

Why Her Therapist Nods Off:
princessslayah42: i had a dream about apple jacks

Truth in Sales:
I2DaysInNovember: there were two kids that rang our doorbell
earlier this evening. they were selling candybars for a dollar
each. Marie and I bought five
I2DaysInNovember: as we were picking them out they said that
we should put them in the freezer becasue they had melted


What a Fool Believes:
BinxB91: Elizabeth Taylor must have thought she had to marry man
in order to have sex with him
oooolijay: i'm glad i never believed that