Waiting For God(ot)wit


This is a Bust:
Gleam1946: Onion is Oooooooli and slut combined into a
multifarious role of chat and chit
Melodramamama22: gleam, it totally freaks me out when you
bust out vocabulary words

Noted:
Tom Brite: I am an attractive man.

In Debt:
Tammynet: you know, i already owe you one ass beating
i wouldn't push it

Trademark Infringement:
Niontron9: hai
Forkrerereredux: lol
Forkrerereredux: hai
Forkrerereredux: haylo
Niontron9: forky
Niontron9: those are trademarks of Rono
Forkrerereredux: um, i've seen others say hai
Forkrerereredux: sorry bud
Forkrerereredux: they beat you to it
Niontron9: they COPIED it fro me
Forkrerereredux: sure, sure
Niontron9: come on
EDruezillaB: well, i invented "hi" and "hello" and "hey"
EDruezillaB: so there
Niontron9: I only
Niontron9: go to
Niontron9: the AL and come
Niontron9: here

Blusher:
Phronsie: We watched Gray Gardens Sat. night
Phronsie: kind of a touching movie, but it made me feel
embarrassed to be a woman


Harking at the Moon:
Gleam1946: Onion just the sight of your font makes me hark back
to the first Sunday night I ventured into this room


GayDog:
JadedDremer: mine is half lab and half english bulldog
Various704: thats the gayest dog ive ever heard of

Tony:
JadedDremer: if a man ever loved me like Tony does,
I would be his helpless victim

Who Knew:
PatientOnion3: humans are slaves to marketing geniuses, TJ
is a slave to his muse Doom Girl

Who Knew II:
Gleam1946: Marketing is Jewish science

A Few of Her Favorite Things:
Summers Eve L: I love sweating out a hangover.

Dark Despair:
SteveIzHere8: everything I make comes out bad
SteveIzHere8: mac & cheese
SteveIzHere8: horrible

Hemmingway's Offspring:
Anais3233: i went fishing today
Anais3233: i'm sunburnt
Anais3233: and i caught nothing

Try Sending Him Postage:
Beysshoes: tamela i told our bunion boy i wanted him to pls
send me chocolates
Beysshoes: and he ran away from me tamela.
Tammynet: ah sorry beys
Beysshoes: he only hearts you enough to make chocolates
for tammy. oofsh
Tammynet: he owed me chocolates beys
Beysshoes: loL okay. thats already TMI chica. hahaha

Leading With His Chin:
Shckltn912: i might read a book soon
Shckltn912: i actually bought one
Catpower777: Penthouse Forum is in book form now?


Lyricist:
Gleam1946: Look if we are going to play games the problem
wont get solved. Stop the B.S.

Waiting for Godwit:
Pheziwig: maybe godwit will come back to us with a slightly
different SN, like godot
Pheziwig: We'll wait
Gleam1946: Waiting for Godot?
Gleam1946: fuck that
Pheziwig: That would be a killer chat room name, Waiting for Godot
Shckltn912: waiting for godot was actually written with laurel and
hardy in mind
Melodramamama22: you could just have one filled with us, called
waiting for godwit

Like When His Lot is Full:
Gleam1946: There are times when even a used car salesman sees
the truth

Maggie Mae Rough Draft:
Shckltn912: i don't want to go back to school, but i have to,
i guess


Another Fun Couple:
Pheziwig: You guys, so predictable
Pheziwig: Good night
Beysshoes: bye you assful of fuzz fezz
Catpower777: Bey, does that mean no nekkids for him?
Beysshoes: kit its yoh turn chica
BinxB91: Beysshoes and Phezziwig would be a great episode of
Blind Date
Beysshoes: shut up binx
Catpower777: Binx, that's just a scary thought


Natalie Finds Her Handle:
BinxB91: Beys, you're telling everyone to shut up. You've lost
both your imagination and your swetness
BinxB91: sweetness
Beysshoes: Uzendayo binx
Summers Eve L: sweatness!

Yuck:
PatientOnion3: yossy, you sexy freakshow
Yossarian4now: only for you, dude
PatientOnion3: i miss your warm wet kisses
Yossarian4now: thats what they all say
PatientOnion3: I get **** thinking about htem
Yossarian4now: lol
Beysshoes: yuck
SparrowAtPeace: but hey 4 out of five stars that's good


Out of Context Blues:

Beysshoes: i had a friend in maine who got divorced from her
first hub "finch"


Frailty Thine Name is Woman:
Melodramamama22: i married my first husband dick, divorced him,
and married my second husband, dick



Restaurant Encounters:
Beysshoes: i just got your nick pale. do you like clint eastwood?
ThePaIeRlDER: i am clint eastwoood bey
Beysshoes: oh. then you've been to your restaurant in carmel yes?
PaIeRlDER: Beys please, one never dines where one shts
Beysshoes: "Hogs Breath Inn" ... I got engaged there. and had it
inscribed in my wedding band.
Beysshoes: peeps thought it was my nickname
Melodramamama22: oh, i ate there once. some tuna salad in an avocado
Melodramamama22: then we drove out to the desert and had a mud bath




Audition:
KissMyAsterix: where are you from
Beysshoes: and you chose us? wow
brizz36: i'm from pa
KissMyAsterix: she got lost, beys.. another one with no map and
poor judgement
Beysshoes: brizz...our new godwit!
brizz36: i'll try


Jennifer Paige:
CordialCactus: so.. i have a girl crush to confess
CordialCactus: Rachel Maddow... yes? do you see it?
zomcom81: ohh.... cactus.....
KissMyAsterix: hmm
CordialCactus: just a little one
Beysshoes: you heart rachel maddow???
CordialCactus: a twee crush
zomcom81: how 'twee'
CordialCactus: well.. i follow her on twitter
CordialCactus: but i dont stalk her
KissMyAsterix: ahh
KissMyAsterix: yet
CordialCactus: she reminds me of me but smarter
CordialCactus: SO
Beysshoes: she seemed better as a guest somehow
CordialCactus: maybe im just a narcissist projecting
KissMyAsterix: perhaps
CordialCactus: beys, whatever do you mean?
Beysshoes: hush you lezbo candy


I'm Candice. Fly Me:
CordialCactus: Zom.. I am Candice.. live in Wisconsin..
have 2 teenagers and 2 small children.. hm.. im a homebound
mother, occasional bartender, sesquipedalian wanna be, and..
not really a lezbo
CordialCactus: married for years
CordialCactus: and.. Nice to meet you
zomcom81: and have a crush on a lezbo?
zomcom81: wow
KissMyAsterix: a twee crush


What Matters in a Man:
Beysshoes: i met this man recently. he looked like a male model
i swear.
KissMyAsterix: which male model
KissMyAsterix: details beys
Beysshoes: like forties-fifties male model. he came over to me gina
KissMyAsterix: pics, info.. email
Beysshoes: i lost my breath
Beysshoes: then he smiles.
KissMyAsterix: oh crap
Beysshoes: no teeferies
KissMyAsterix: boy that kills a romance
Beysshoes: i don't have very high standards but teeth. they
kinda matter
KissMyAsterix: how many
zomcom81: good teeth are a necessity
KissMyAsterix: is the number negotiable
Beysshoes: only gums. nolo
Beysshoes: fake teef mebbe a possibility
KissMyAsterix: they can be bought though
KissMyAsterix: like boobs
zomcom81: as long as they're not ugly teeth


Rite:
CordialCactus: I got a new couch through craigslist
CordialCactus: It is soo cute
CordialCactus: microfiber...eggshell color...huge and cushy
Beysshoes: couch. did you fumigate it candy?
CordialCactus: $50
KissMyAsterix: good price
CordialCactus: no, but we just christened it

Beys Worries Candice:
Beysshoes: i'm serious here candy. we don't wanna read about you
being in the ER for crabs infestation.
KissMyAsterix: although
CordialCactus: whats the opposite of a germaphobe... im that...
i dont like dirty.. but germs got no hold on me
Beysshoes: dirty = grungy?
CordialCactus: i vacuumed it
CordialCactus: does that count
KissMyAsterix: it all counts
Beysshoes: not really. you need to flea bomb yoh entire parlor now
CordialCactus: ifin i start itchin then i'll worry
Beysshoes: funky. that's another grungy word.



Out of the Picture:
CordialCactus: hey zom...you want a picture of my clean but not
fumigated craigslist fiddy dollah couch?
CordialCactus: you can just say no...if you want
KissMyAsterix: I got no pic
CordialCactus: im waiting to hit send
zomcom81: sure, but not if it's covered in blood stains
CordialCactus: oh man
CordialCactus: fine
Beysshoes: shup you ingrate. candy is fragile about rejection.
KissMyAsterix: be like that
zomcom81: no picture then
CordialCactus: you've got mail
Beysshoes: candy, you really should've taken that used condom
wrapper out before taking the shoot though.
CordialCactus: that kid you see in the picture is what happens
when you take the condom out of the picture


Candice's Son:
Beysshoes: omg what a cutey pie
KissMyAsterix: yeah
KissMyAsterix: he's in focus and everything



Here's the Story:
zomcom81: and candy is...... cactus?
CordialCactus: Im candy..candi candice cactus
CordialCactus: here is the story of my screen name
CordialCactus: ahem
CordialCactus: My name is candice.. i was a bartender..i got
people drunk..they slurred my name...called me cactus... a
cordial is a drink and a demeanor
CordialCactus: Voila
zomcom81: okay... i will try to remember that
CordialCactus: Hence the name


a short vagina:
zomcom81: and gina is asterix
zomcom81: and i'm emily or zomcom
CordialCactus: zom.. gina=dinov=kiss
KissMyAsterix: I'm really not a gina
Beysshoes: gina is short for vagina
KissMyAsterix: this is like mpd
Beysshoes: see, she has a syndrome that left her with a short
vagina. thus, gina.


Pardon My Disorder:
zomcom81: sometimes, asterix, it's nice to shhhh...
Beysshoes: zom you're rude and boring and an ingrate. get out already
zomcom81: sheesh, just a bit ago you wanted me to heart you
Beysshoes: well, i have a mood disorder zom.
KissMyAsterix: potato .. potahhto


It Keeps You Runnin':
KissMyAsterix: beys is protective
KissMyAsterix: but Cactus likes everyone
zomcom81: well that's sweet.
KissMyAsterix: so you could be a real ass and still not know
where you stand with these two
KissMyAsterix: no offense
zomcom81: i feel good so it's okay
CordialCactus: no no.. i know an ass.. but im not going to
dislike someone for being an ass
CordialCactus: the world needs asses
KissMyAsterix: see
CordialCactus: im sure they have purposes
Beysshoes: candycane. that seems unecessarily mean.
apologize to zom please.


Gina as Pundit:
KissMyAsterix: she's like shirley temple.. an ambassador
KissMyAsterix: and beys is like um..Vladmir Putin..
Beysshoes: putin? gina. why do you say such a hurtful
fuckish thang to me?
KissMyAsterix: oh beys, it was a compliment

Fork's Mom is Easy:
Forkrerereredux: i made love to my mother


Just Breathe:
Forkrerereredux: everyone take a deep breath
Alansueton: count to ten

KissMyAsterix: how bad is it when fork is the peacemaker
Alansueton: I think it is pill time!
KissMyAsterix: we're low on doses
KissMyAsterix: someone underprescribed
Beysshoes: that's how i felt when i began missing godwit gina.
Beysshoes: totally frightening
Forkrerereredux: someone misses godwit?
KissMyAsterix: ok yeah, you missed a dose
Cognomen98: yes, that is frightening
KissMyAsterix: breathe beys


Whatever Happened to Godwit:
Forkrerereredux: godwit called fork a poof
KissMyAsterix: well...
KissMyAsterix: I think it was a come on fork
KissMyAsterix: he was jealous of your mom
Alansueton: I heard Godwit was arrested during a
Operation Candyman net sweep
Forkrerereredux: godwit never wanted to meet fork
Forkrerereredux: we live in like the same town
Forkrerereredux: fork invited him to eat a hoagie at lee's
hoagie house and then go tanning at hollwood tans


Knowing Beys:
khadijahekohgf: wow it looks yammmmy :) hereismycam.xoxgo.com
Beysshoes: khadija...luegos. we're busy just now
Tell A Story 78: of course, bey likes to be paranoid evidently
and accuse people on whims
Beysshoes: okay, take up a collection to send tell over to
khadija's tent


Killing Time:
Tell A Story 78: I'm just killing time before bed in a few minutes
Tell A Story 78: I am Para
Tell A Story 78: as I said
Forkrerereredux: hi para
Alansueton: Para what?
KissMyAsterix: hi para
Tell A Story 78: hi
KissMyAsterix: parasite
Tj34: hi para
KissMyAsterix: paragraph
Alansueton: Paradigm?

South of the Border:
Sweet Disorder 2: It does make sense...no wonder the multiple
personality thing...hum, borderline personality disorder...maybe.
Tj34: what a clever dude. he sure put on over on us.
Beysshoes: so lets take a vote: is it a sober blt here?
Beysshoes: hands hands please


Tell You What:
Tell A Story 78: I bet I could put out a bologna stick and
you guys would follow me to hell, lol
Tell A Story 78: I"d expect that from your mentality
Beysshoes: okay you guys. listen up please. if i was this person,
i'd be side suey. so just stop it already.
Beysshoes: lets be kind please
Tell A Story 78: lol, these guys are cotton puffs
KissMyAsterix: I was being kind
Tell A Story 78: reminds me of my puppy barking at my feet for
more water
Beysshoes: lol gina.

[...one night early in February as I read The Aeneid, my roommate,
Soo-Jin, mentioned without looking up from her Organic Chemistry
textbook that some of the freshmen on our hall were planning to
crash an off-campus party at some doctor of philosphy's but I
wasn't invited because I was considered more than a little
"bleak" in demeanor: "Especially in the morning when you're on
your way to Intro to 60s Counterculture and the New Left. You
looked so like, afflicted."
This, of course, was only Soo-Jin talking(Soo-Jin whose face
employed the same countenance for both Anger and Elation). I
did my best to wave away this remark, as if it were no more
than an unpleasant odor coming off a beaker or test tube, but
then I did start to notice all kinds of unquestionably bleak
things. For example, when Bethany brought people into her
room for a Friday night Audrey Hepburn marathon, I was
distinctly aware, at the end of Breakfest at Tiffany's,
unlike the other girls sitting on pillows chain-smoking with
tears in their eyes, I was actually hoping Holly didn't find
the Cat. No, if I was completely honest with myself, I
realized that I wanted Cat to stay lost and abandoned, mewing
and shivering all by its Cat self in those splintery crates
in that awful Tin Pan Alleyway, which from the rate of that
Hollywood downpour would be submerged under the Pacific
Ocean in less than an hour. (This I disguised, of course,
smiling gaily when George Peppard feverishly grasped Audrey
feverishly grasping Cat who no longer looked like a cat but
a drowned squirrel. I believe I even uttered one of those
girly, high-pitched, "Ewws," in perfect harmony with
Bethany's sighs)]


Interview Practice:
Forkrerereredux: god fork went a good job

As if:
Tammynet: shut up!

Puppy Love:
Melodramamama22: everybody always thinks their dog is best