Urban Renewal/Onionisms

War is profitable:

Sublime Elu: you think that war isn't already
run for profit?
PatientOnion3: Iraq has oil, oil is profitable,
our cars do not run on Iraqi democracy

Kitchen Porn Redux:

Vanda52: im bored and i never hack into computers,
im happy with my porn sites
PatientOnion3: they have porn on the internet now,
when did that happen?
Catpower777: Onion, even kitchen porn
PatientOnion3: turkey basters, turkeys with white meat
breast implants

Spanish makes him nuts:

Beysshoes: vanda we had 4 spanish speaking chatters last
night when godwit was here...you missed a great tizzy fit!
LivZenTx: working on my Spanish, Bey, took it for 14 years,
need to revive!
Beysshoes: yes liv...and be sure to make an appearance when
godwits around!
LivZenTx: ok, Bey, por que?
Beysshoes: for what? liv?
Sublime Elu: brb - dog
LivZenTx: brb, phone call!
Beysshoes: oh he's the resident bigot...and spanish
makes him nuts
Beysshoes: the illegal alien issue
Vanda52: america will be a spanish-speaking country in 40 years

Vanda eliminates yet another potential mate:

Vanda52: Charo's ok but i bet she gets annoying to live with

Adult Homework Help:

Beysshoes: swede needed to know what the clicker on
the top of the pen was...the correct name for it.
do you know?
Catpower777: what a weird question
Catpower777: did he google it?
Beysshoes: its for a paper he's writing. he needs the exact term
Beysshoes: how would one google that?

Urban does not suffer fools:

LivZenTx: It's hard to gaze at stars when you are in Houston
Niontron3: why is it hard in houston
LivZenTx: so many lights, Nion
UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- A good friend of mine just moved
to Houston
LivZenTx: what part of town Urban?
UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- I have no idea
Niontron3: get out of the city..
LivZenTx: lol, big ole town here
UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- All I know is that it is a
"planned community"
LivZenTx: yeah, I hear that is popular in CA
UrbanStarGazer: which, from what I understand, has a
different meaning out there than out here
Niontron3: what's a PLANNED COMMUNITY
UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- What is?
Niontron3: how do you plan a community
Niontron3: you mean the buildings and the whole city
is planned?
UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- We don't have planned communities
out here, we have zoning
Niontron3: you mean the buildings and the whole city is
well planned?
LivZenTx: yeah, Houston has no zoning it is wild and crazy here
Niontron3: I demand to know what is a PLANNED COMMUNITY
UrbanStarGazer: Nion -- I was typing you an explanation but
since you're acting stupid, I deleted it

Your Life is determined by Politicians:

UrbanStarGazer: Liv -- I'm like the Renee Russo character
-- the only woman over 30 who doesn't believe in astrology
Niontron3: only because stars are moving that doesn't
mean your life is changing
Niontron3: your life is determined by politicians...

... and the Messiah:

UrbanStarGazer: I'm waiting for my butter to soften and
my oven to preheat

2 out of 3 liked it:

BinxB91: I once ate a restaurant that was half-German/half-Chinese.
An hour later I hungered for power
UrbanStarGazer: Binx -- LOL, I like that
Cyn9652: very clever, binx
Niontron3: binx, your joke is derogatory to other nation

Signal to start the bread:

Vanda52: there was a picture floating around of some poor
guy with a micro penis, it wasnt nice at all
UrbanStarGazer: Allan -- How small was it?
Vanda52: well urb, there was basically no penis,
it was just a pee hole on the poor guy
UrbanStarGazer: brb gonna go start my bread

Yes but it always starts with gravy mix:

UrbanStarGazer: So, the other day H and I were at
the grocery store and I look in the cart and there
are 3 packets of that packaged brown gravy stuff
UrbanStarGazer: and I asked him why they were there and
he said that I told him to grab it
UrbanStarGazer: so, I'm wondering . . . should I be worried
that he's turning into a schizophrenic who hears voices
telling him to buy bad food?
Epatterson186044: it was only gravy mix

Moon owes her existance to Draft Dodging:

Cecilleej: My friend is frightened the draft will come and
get him
Moonmet: my grandmother married my grandfather civily to
avoid being drafted in WWI

A Cry for Help?:

ParaMyrrh: even when I was a woman I was against Abortion

More silliness:

PatientOnion3: you know why iraq is going downhill? Cause
Lucero's boyfriend is not there, he came home for the holidays,
as soon as he goes back we will win
LUCEROSALA: lol
Vanda52: iraq is going downhill?

Vanda comes to a conclusion:

Vanda52: ive come to the conclusion i like a hairy hootie
Ironfeliks1: not me vanda
PatientOnion3: I love the Hairy Hootie movies, that little
british boy and all those witches and ghosts?