Animal Chat

Tragic End to a Strange Affair:

NAGUAL4A: Hey...theres this dead squirrel outside
NAGUAL4A: just off my patio
Fezziwhig: Lay off those drugs, Nag, it will ruin
ya in the end
NAGUAL4A: it might be this squirrel I have
been seeing

NAGUAL's attempts to move us beyond vapid tripe:

NAGUAL4A: its dead
Swede da lo: it might be nutty
Ta21l: it had two marks on it...did you put them there?
Fezziwhig: It may only be faking death to outwit you
NAGUAL4A: no..I only saw it from a distance alive
NAGUAL4A: and I couldnt tell what they were
Swede da lo: distance relationships never work out.
Fezziwhig: Unidentified Squirrels
NAGUAL4A: it seemed as if something had bit it perhaps
NAGUAL4A: but it was still alive
Fezziwhig: Is it an open case?

The Crocodile Guy and Maudlin Tripe:

Godwit935: How about that dead crocodile guy? He's dead,
out of the picture, forgotten already.
NAGUAL4A: did you see all the maudlin tripe about him
godwit?
Ta21l: very sympathetic Godwit
NAGUAL4A: they propped his 8 yr old daughter up to read
the eulogy
Nomdujourxx: Now the a-holes are going out and killing
Mantas, what a crock that is
NAGUAL4A: yeah.....apparently australians loved that idiot
Fezziwhig: Godwit, I thought Australia was going to have
to breath into a giant paper bag over that guy
Godwit935: Fezzi, I felt bad about it, I liked that
crocodile guy.
Swede da lo: now that the chatroom is again breathing fine,
i'll finish up my vocab.
Fezziwhig: Am I the only one who thought he was an ass?
Swede da lo: no fezz, i thought he was an idiot
Godwit935: I think the crocodile guy was mentally ill,
in the way that makes people successful.
Fezziwhig: I didn't wish him dead but I'm not surprised
BinxB91: Was Mr Rogers mentally ill?
Godwit935: No, of course not, Binx.
Ta21l: do you have to ask Binx?
Nomdujourxx: Kinda like that scene in Apocolypse Now,
where the boat commander catches a spear through the thoeax
Godwit935: A spear!
Beysshoes: i thought he was the epitome of living fearlessly.
Nomdujourxx: exactly!!
Ta21l: why is that Godwit?
Godwit935: Because they are so publicly needy, it's pathetic, Ta.
Fezziwhig: Russel Crowe was shooting tears fifty feet over
the guy and so was Kevin Costner and some actress......
...they all got together wiping their eyes and nodding
Fezziwhig: I wonder if a movie might be in the works?
Godwit935: You have to feel sorry for these people.

Monkeys:

BinxB91: There are many interesting Shelfers who never
come here anymore ... (sigh)
Swede da lo: yes binx
Swede da lo: they all died.
Godwit935: Of AIDS, no doubt.
Beysshoes: and there we have it. AIDS.
Ta21l: maybe they caught it from trassexuals...
Godwit935: They caught it from monkeys, Ta. Imagine that.
Swede da lo: damned monkeys
Fezziwhig: I could never live long enough to get to the
point where a monkey would be attractive
Beysshoes: i think a missive might be in order tonight.
off i go.
Godwit935: Fezzi, imagine the Original Pervert. Not just
homosexual, but doing it with a monkey.
Swede da lo: those baboons have shiney hineys
Fezziwhig: I can't
BinxB91: what if the monkey was a good conversationalist?
Fezziwhig: I mean I can't imagine the motivation
Swede da lo: then he'd be ishmael.
Swede da lo: could be all the hair.
Godwit935: The come-on look in the monkey's eye...
Swede da lo: the way they move their tales so slow.
Fezziwhig: Then, again, I look at some of the guy some
women are dating
Dissent1: Well, given a thousand monkeys randomly
making monkey's noses, one can be sure that in time,
they would reproduce the conversation here and now..
Godwit935: Including you, Dissent?
Ta21l: monkeys? what the hell did I miss?
Swede da lo: a monkey would never admit to being
the source of aids.
Fezziwhig: TA, you'd never have sex with Peter Tork,
would you?
Ta21l: who in their right mind would?
Swede da lo: uh oh, i think my pc screen isn't level
Godwit935: You mean, who in his right mind would.
Godwit935: Who doesn't have their. Who has his, or
hers, but not theirs.
Dissent1: Swede, well according to some, A monkey was
the source of our current trouble with AIDS
Fezziwhig: What do the creationists say. It seems
science credits monkeys with too much
Ta21l: I say, we start blaming cats
Swede da lo: cats gave people aids?

Dancing with Bears I

Dissent1: according to the wise, one should play dead
when confonted with a Bear. Does this really work?
Swede da lo: if you like being molested by a bear

Dancing with Bears II:

BinxB91: I read about a man who saved himself from an
angry bear by diving under the jeep he was working on.
Ta21l: not a bad idea really
BinxB91: And the bear shocked itself when trying to claw
at him from above the engine
Swede da lo: why was the bear angry?
Fezziwhig: the guy wasn't union

Dancing with Bears III:

Fezziwhig: I read about this photographer that couldn't
outrun a bear
Fezziwhig: he thought he was dead and decided to take a
last pic before he died
Ta21l: there was that movie "Grizzly Man" I think it
was called...
Ta21l: I think, I've never seen it
Fezziwhig: flash went off and the bear freaked and ran
BinxB91: yes, that's a documentary
BinxB91: wisely, they cut the last scene
Ta21l: after living with grizzlies, he decides to interact
with them and gets eaten
Swede da lo: nice
Swede da lo: guess he had bad body language
Ta21l: you could probably fine the ending on Faces of Death
whatever number they're on
Ta21l: find...geez...I'm having problems tonight
BinxB91: He successfully lived with the grizzlies for awhile
Ta21l: 2 months, wasn't it
BinxB91: The end came when he introduced his girl friend
BinxB91: really
BinxB91: she was killed too
Swede da lo: what did his girlfriend do?
Fezziwhig: "I don't like his GF. Let's kill them and eat them."
Fezziwhig: You bring a GF into a clique and you never know
how everyone will react
Swede da lo: guess it goes to show that you should never date
someone who lives with bears.
Ta21l: unless your Goldilocks

Binx earns brownie points:

BinxB91: Tonight we've discussed squrrels(dead),
dogs, monkeys, bears, owls, and now horses ...
Ta21l: thank you for not including women in that
catagory Binx...major brownie points....