The beginning of the new school year
brings with it the first request for
homework help. This one ended pleasantly
(especially for PatientOnion apparently).
The child never reached a level of
Snertdom.
Perhaps some of these procrastinating
students will one day turn into interesting
Shelfers. After all, how much maturation
would it take?

Homework Help:

AtticusGrlie281: hey
AtticusGrlie281: has anyone read huckleberry finn
AtticusGrlie281: i need help
TRBfrom NC: snert alert, folks
PatientOnion3: I just did a book report on huck finn
PatientOnion3: i hope i didn't delete it
AtticusGrlie281: because i read it kind of but theres
this thing theyre askin me why i think lying occured
so much ...like how is it significant...can anyone help
please?
Fezziwhig: Just tell your teacher before Kerouac did
it with a car, Huck did it with a river
AtticusGrlie281: does anyone have an idea why lying
occured so much...or why u think it is significant
PatientOnion3: it occurred so much, cuz they didn't do
their homework

Homework Help Refresher:

TRBfrom NC: usual they ask sunday nights and when we won't
write their book reviews for them they stalk out in a huff
calling us GAY LOOSERS
TRBfrom NC: always loosers, mind you, not losers
Knishofdeath: This room sux--bye, loosers!
Niontron3: DId you notice, TOC doesn't stay here as long
as he used to
TRBfrom NC: yes, barely even a tic-toc
PatientOnion3: the san francisco suv terrorist heard voices,
as schizos tend to do, before he went on his rampage,
according to his parents
TRBfrom NC: that's voices by hearsay, then
AtticusGrlie281: lol
AtticusGrlie281: im always thankful
AtticusGrlie281: i just get stuck pretty often on things
like that
AtticusGrlie281: its like its on the tip of my tongue.
but i cant get it out
Knishofdeath: I'm the same way with hairballs

Homework Help Conclusion:

AtticusGrlie281: but thank all of you so much.....even if
i make a c...yall made me feel real good about it....so thanks
AtticusGrlie281: BINX THANK YOU SO MUCH....THANK YOU SO MUCH
EVERYONE
Knishofdeath: Huck tells a few "stretchers"
TRBfrom NC: good luck, Atticus
PatientOnion3: thanks for the bikini photos atticus

Vanda gets along with everyone:

Vanda52: no one really bothers me much in here or
in my outside life since ive gotten older,
i just take it as it comes

Except dolts:

Vanda52: hmmm, where are yougoing tocollege?
BooksNLipGloss: rutgers
Vanda52: wheres that, new jersey?
BooksNLipGloss: yes
BinxB91: Vanda, does nothing West of the Hudson exist
for you?
Vanda52: oh please binx, ive seen all ofamerica,
emmas right ,m you are a dolt

NAGUAL doing a favor:

Niontron3: can someone give me jo's screen name
NAGUAL4A: I believe it is JHDon'ttellrono

The cutest President:

BinxB91: Lady Godiva took her ride on a dare from her
husband. He said he'd lower taxes when she rode
through the village naked.
BinxB91: He apparently didn't know his wife.
DAISYTRAIL: I wish Laura Bush would do that.
DAISYTRAIL: Or Hillary Clinton.
BinxB91: or Jackie Kennedy in 1962 to get the missiles
out of Cuba
DAISYTRAIL: Right, Binx.
BinxB91: Jackie was a real tomato
BinxB91: Only 31 when JFK became president
DAISYTRAIL: She was only 31? Wow.
Vanda52: jackie was that much younger then jfk?
I2DaysInNovember: he was the youngest president ever
DAISYTRAIL: The cutest one, too.

Living in PatientOnion's World, Part I:

PatientOnion3: i just made the most delicious pork chop
broccoli dish
Catpower777: it's about time you showed up, PO
Catpower777: Wills was looking for you
PatientOnion3: bruce willis?
Catpower777: no, your biggest fan
PatientOnion3: bruce likes pork chops & broccoli?
Catpower777: he likes you less for your cooking and more for
your politics
PatientOnion3: That's cuz he never tasted my cooking
PatientOnion3: with all my views and $.25 you can't even buy
a newspaper, but my pork chops are the fastest way to a girl's
heart ... thru her tummy

Living in PatientOnion's World, Part II:

PatientOnion3: mr. tomato man!
BinxB91: you've confused me with someone else
PatientOnion3: you don't grow tomatoes?
PatientOnion3: cherry tomatoes?
BinxB91: I only grow hair
PatientOnion3: let me check
PatientOnion3: yes, it is you
PatientOnion3: no, you are right, it is fezziwhig,
i get you and him mixed up
BinxB91: HOW did you check?
BinxB91: You have a satellite pcture of my yard?
PatientOnion3: i get you and him mixed up, and gypsy & godwit
PatientOnion3: you and fezz both live in chicago
PatientOnion3: gypsy and godwit are both right wing freaks and live
in texas
BinxB91: I don't live in Chicago though I kind of like Peter Gabriel

Mistaken Identity:

Niontron3: people always give an accusing look to the whores
...but not to the person who opens the whore house
Swede da lo: right?
Doneyya: whorehouse/bar and grille
Swede da lo: whorehouse/bed and breakfast
Niontron3: people give accusing look to the poor people
...but not to the people who makes them poor
Swede da lo: oops rono i thought you were nag

Quest for fire:

Catpower777: I wanted to like baked cheetos,
but I just couldn't

Yes, Dogs too:

BIDET LIVES: i have a lot of routines in my life
BIDET LIVES: they're important to me, because i'm a busy woman
BIDET LIVES: once a week i put a peel off mask on my face
BIDET LIVES: cucumber and ginseng
BIDET LIVES: it goes on clear and peels off like skin
BIDET LIVES: after it dries, i call the young dog over and
rip my face right off in front of him
BIDET LIVES: it's really one of the funniest things i've ever
seen
BIDET LIVES: i'm laughing again just thinking about it
BIDET LIVES: you should try it with your dog, allan
Vanda52: hmmm
HighTopVL: Everyone comes here to be told the minutia of
Bidet's life?
Vanda52: shes sadistic, high
HighTopVL: you like upsetting dogs?