DoomGrl Out of the Closet


Oh Boy!!:
VioletDeliriums: i cant wait to see what the onion does


Well-Adjusted Daughter:
HollyGoI23: my father once told me to go out and fuck because
that was how to make friends.
mourning bread: Did you take his advice.
HollyGoI23: no I shot him
HollyGoI23: in my mind

No Room For Skeltons:
DoomGrl: my dad has almost 2000 record albums stored in the
hall closet


Out-of-Context Blues:

Im2charming: I RATHER SIT AROUND WITH THE BEER AND SMILE AND FART

Toujourspc: it is so odd how something mundane like a bubble
blower or a sewing machine can make you filthy filthy rich

raven of rapha: When I was young my father wroked for the government.

W4p25m25: i still think they'll have football on Mars someday

Gleam1946: Are we not Devo?


Hey, I'm there!:
niontron8: a soft violin song, played live:niontron.com/onekrat.mp3

Goes right to his head:
Melodramamama22: damn. i lol'd alan

Doesn't Work With "Vero":
Melodramamama22: i like it when people say "boca" all nonchalantly

But 'ha ha ha':
quiet scientist: i don't mean to laugh at arthritis or anything

Would you like them on a train, or in the rain?:
ManiacEyeball: i hate 'jokes', i prefer spontaneous humor


Who Loves Ya Baby?:
Melodramamama22: binx, i went to see paranormal activity at the weekend
BlackHeartedCur: I would respond to that, because I'm interested in
that movie, but the comment was directed only at Binx
Melodramamama22: oh.
BlackHeartedCur: So I'll just sit here and drum my fingers on the table
Melodramamama22: cur, i went to see paranormal activity at the weekend.
BlackHeartedCur: Oh, really? How was it?
Melodramamama22: skeery!

IT'S NOT OVER YET!!:
Melodramamama22: i was skeert. i asked this, approx 43 times:
NOW what are they doing?
Melodramamama22: cause i didn't watch a lot of it
BlackHeartedCur: You must have been annoying to watch the movie with
Melodramamama22: yes, hugely annoying
Melodramamama22: but i'm worth it
Melodramamama22: i watched none of the end, and everyone was still
gasping and i was hollering HOW DID IT END?!

What else is scary?:
Melodramamama22: actually i like baseball, but i don't like to watch
it alone


Dance Discussion:
Alansueton: of course not Maniac you should do "The Petulant Child"
ballet and free style your inability to convey your secret to us
ManiacEyeball: i didn't say free style.
ManiacEyeball: you're retarded.
ManiacEyeball: you don't know anything about dance, apparently
BlackHeartedCur: When people decided to break out of the rules of
ballet, it became another kind of dance

Snob Baiting:
ManiacEyeball: arguing about ballet, when you probably couldn't
even describe what a brise-vole is.
Melodramamama22: brise vole sounds like some pickled rodent meat
DoomGrl: its like dancing about architcture
ManiacEyeball: i know, its missing the accent
Toujourspc: brise vole sounds like a jewish rat
Alansueton: brise marine Sea Breeze brise is a breeze wind


What Are You Wearing:
BlackHeartedCur: Jeans and a t-shirt

So Is Brokeback Mountain but ...:
DoomGrl: tits up in a ditch is an annie proulx story

Cue Cards:
Toujourspc: Patient writes for Dave Letterman
PatientOnionSF: i pick out the interns too
Melodramamama22: did he write the part when letterman said "oh fuck"


Uncertain Geography:
Toujourspc: I never realized Wisconsin was so close to Pa until I
got a map for my grand daughter


Beginning the CreepyLoner Quest:
DoomGrl: whats that nice city in Ohio?

Sex With Jeff:
quiet scientist: my roommate is having sex and yelling "nick!"
quiet scientist: this is awkward

Bubble Burster:
raven of rapha: My father is the remote for Howard H.
raven of rapha: At one time the wealthiest man in the world.
raven of rapha: He designed the Cia.
quiet scientist: then he spent a month peeing in jars
quiet scientist: what's the moral of that story?

Halloween Dreams:
DoomGrl: qui, what are you going to be for Halloween
quiet scientist: i don't know yet
PatientOnionSF: what were you last year?
DoomGrl: Howard Hughes?
PatientOnionSF: a scientist again?
quiet scientist: but a lady came to our door yesterday asking me
to sign a petition to ban trick or treating at our apartments
quiet scientist: last year i was an angel
quiet scientist: boring i know

[He stood at the table, looking down at the handkerchief case
and stud box, and was afraid. Upstairs was a girl who was a
person. That he loved her seemed unimportant to what she was.
He only loved her, which really made him a lot less than a
friend or an acquaintance. Other people saw her or talked to
her when she was herself, her great, important self. It was
wrong, this idea that you know someone better because you have
shared a bed and a bathroom with her. He knew, and not another
human being knew, that she cried "I" or "high" in moments of
great ecstasy. He knew, he alone knew her when she let herself
go, when she herself was not sure whether she was wildly gay or
wildly sad, but one or the other. But that did not mean that he
knew her. Far from it. It only meant that he was closer to her
when he was close, but (and this was the first time the thought
had come to him) maybe farther away from anyone else when he was
not close. It certainly looked that way now. "Oh, I'm a son of
a bitch," he said.]


DoomGrl Undercover:

DoomGrl: I feel funny with such a big font. wait a minute

DoomGrl: baby can you blow my heart upmaybe i will be Lady Gaga

DoomGrl: I bought 4 coloring books today

DoomGrl: i am drinks beer

DoomGrl: in my tanks top and jean



BookSlut Just Back From Writing Seminar:
erstwhile mots: Gawd, the Redskins suck almost as bad as the Psycho
remake with Anne Heche.

Scandavian Syndromes:
HollyGoI23: isn't there a psychosis that enables you to fall for
your rescuer? like that kidnapping thing...
Catpower777: like the Stockholm Syndrome?
Hadachoke: Copenhagen Syndrome?
Catpower777: Holly, I think with men it's called horny?

The Answer Man:
Gleam1946: Are you at all cognizant? Is the tail now wagging the dog?

Tolerance:
Gleam1946: Obama is a nice guy who just fell in with a real
nefarious crowd

Stream of Consciousness:
HollyGoI23: I have a hard time with some older films
HollyGoI23: ohh and smell good too

Stop listening to AM radio?:
Gleam1946: When the aliens get here and tell us we are all
sub-human what will the liberals say?

Onion Says "obscene":
PatientOnionSF: across the street from where I grew up was built
the very first mall in america, by that scumbag Taubman, then
about 20 years later they covered it, making it even more obscene


Our Better Angels:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
BinxB91: Angel, white font does not work
AngelGardn:
PatientOnionSF: the only murders we have here are drug/gang related
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
AngelGardn:
PatientOnionSF: angel's font is naked just like herself

[The dinner guests stood up and he looked for Caroline. He saw
she was too far away to have it worth making a point of of going
to her. That turned out to be an error of judgement.]

Onion's World:

PatientOnionSF: empress and her tycoon husband are going to visit
thor and ****** in the spring for some kinda orgy

PatientOnionSF: never try to make mashed potatoes in a food processor,
it gives it a pasty unappetizing texture
PatientOnionSF: just mash 'em

PatientOnionSF: i am testing out a pork filling for bitter melon
stuffed w/pork
PatientOnionSF: i have a friend that likes the bitter flavor, I can
live without it

But Only If I Have a Coupon:
DoomGrl: if they have the swine flu vaccine at the super market,
maybe I will get it

The Real End of the Cold War:
BlackHeartedCur: Binx, lets have more of the Eastern Euro-hotties

DoomGrl at 13:
DoomGrl: johnny depp plays all different kinds of people, like
with scissors as hands and stuff
DoomGrl: and the cuban transvestite
DoomGrl: he was sooo pretty in that movie

Blackmailer:
HollyGoI23: ah...my parents were hippies.... I have photos

One Flew in a Taxi, One Saved Time in a Bottle:
DoomGrl: i get harry chapin and jim croce mixed up

Favorite Book Club:
Fubar817: Say what youwill about Vonnegut, you always get a reaction
MyStrat: you have to be in the right mood to read kurt
Fubar817: Stoned is good

I even got the month of May:
Alansueton: methinks Binx is a SteelyDan fan
Beysshoes: binx isn't a fan of anyone bonbon
Beysshoes: mebbe me. but nobody else.


Deciphering Boulshevit:
Boulshevit: Wow, see, that's why I quit driving
Beysshoes: you quit for alcohol boulsy? alcohol is a jealous lover.
Boulshevit: Yeah, no shit, Beys..she was probably a mean drunk
Boulshevit: Nah, I just quit driving
Beysshoes: just? like 2 hours ago?
Boulshevit: Just like 15 minutes ago
SemiLitterate: (his car reposessed)
Beysshoes: aaah. well, its good you're making such a monumental
effort boulsy
Boulshevit: Hey, you know me, trying to give back
Beysshoes: always the philanthropist.

Attack of The Penis Boys:
Beysshoes: sue sue nobody could zoom in on your teenie peenie
so you be safe
PatientOnionSF: "I can't stop touching it. I can't find it.
Please help me"
Alansueton: I know a small penis is an adaptative advantage if you
wish to masturbate in public
Alansueton: I have availed myself of the advantage on numerous occasions
Alansueton: Onion Im not a Deli side order cook
PatientOnionSF: especially at baskin robbins before they close and
all the soccer moms come in
Beysshoes: thanks for sharing suesue

... and that she's not LadyMountainMedic:
Prospect26: hi beys...do you know that i am a woman?
Beysshoes: yes pros i do.
Prospect26: thanks

Newbie With No Promise:
v70mattg: so do people here talk about books?
v70mattg: lol

Piling On Prospect:
Prospect26: I am reading The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.
PatientOnionSF: you have been reading that stupid book since 2002
Hadachoke: pros, you've been reading that for a year
PatientOnionSF: it is one million pages long?
PatientOnionSF: it's like eating a pizza as big as ohio


The Self-effacing Beysshoes:
Hadachoke: Beyss came to my house once... stood in the doorway
and said "Hi, I'm here to give you super sex"
Hadachoke: I said ok, i'll take the soup
Beysshoes: i did not bobby. i only offerred a bj
Beysshoes: don't exaggerate
KissMyAsterix: what are you clinton
KissMyAsterix: that's not sex?

Group Therapy:
SkylerThompson22: why do you two hate your mothers?

Sexual Confusion:
KissMyAsterix: just because you don't want to talk to someone
doesn't mean you hate them
Beysshoes: egg sackly. you can love somebody and not like them ya know
SkylerThompson22: you cant talk to her?
KissMyAsterix: I prefer the term try not to
SkylerThompson22: because shes overbearing?
KissMyAsterix: mine, no
SkylerThompson22: a busybody?
Beysshoes: its rude to probe skyler.
Beysshoes: unless its sexual probing
KissMyAsterix: nah, and honestly it's shrink stuff.. unless you can
write scripts
KissMyAsterix: eww
KissMyAsterix: beys geez
KissMyAsterix: skyler is still questioning his sexuality
Beysshoes: gina you ingrate
Beysshoes: so be a good citizen and hep him.
KissMyAsterix: he's still in denial
Beysshoes: oh skyler. you're in the perfect chat. a lot of
sexual confusion in here.
SkylerThompson22: mom sent me to a therapist
Beysshoes: not now, but when the trannies get here you'll see

Heard It:
SkylerThompson22: the contraction is "clit"
KissMyAsterix: been dying to use that huh


Flirting 2009:
KimberlysCabin09: hes not into trailer trash like me
Boulshevit: Stanley from Three's Company was kind of creepy
KimberlysCabin09: oh yeah boul
PaIeRlDER2: yer trailer trash too kim?
PaIeRlDER2: mmmmmmmmmm intriguing
PaIeRlDER2: Kim, is it just me or are you a tad 'paranoid'?
KimberlysCabin09: are you trailer trash pale?
KimberlysCabin09: at least youre my equal
KimberlysCabin09: tad paranoid
PaIeRlDER2: I live in a house , I am redneck trash
KimberlysCabin09: oh a house... does it have bugs?
PaIeRlDER2: NO
KimberlysCabin09: good i hate bugs
PaIeRlDER2: and i'm a neat freak
KimberlysCabin09: man i got like nine skeeter bites on the deck OUCH
KimberlysCabin09: does mold make you sleepy and clog your nose up?
KimberlysCabin09: good i like neatness too
PaIeRlDER2: Mold will make you ill
KimberlysCabin09: i think this mold might have been contributing
to some of my health problems
PaIeRlDER2: probably kim
KimberlysCabin09: rescue me
KimberlysCabin09: take me outta this dump
PaIeRlDER2: lol
KimberlysCabin09: see i knew you werent serious
PaIeRlDER2: NOT WITHOUT A LOOK SEE FIRST
KimberlysCabin09: you can see when you prove to me who you are
PaIeRlDER2: OK, HOW COULD I PROVE I AM ME?
Hadachoke: go ahead, Pale, send her the dick pic
KimberlysCabin09: send me 25 grand
princessslayah42: stop yelling, Rider
PaIeRlDER2: she said she dont open mail had
KimberlysCabin09: ill send it back i promise :-D


A Chick Magnet:
PatientOnionSF: kman, you smooth talker you, how do you do it?
Kman3x3: id just do
PatientOnionSF: you are irresistible, a CHICK MAGNET
KissMyAsterix: lol onion
KissMyAsterix: you win
KissMyAsterix: he's all yours
PatientOnionSF: kman, bey is hot too, a hawaii surfer/suntan
lotion model
Kman3x3: o yeah
Beysshoes: yah that's me alright
PatientOnionSF: rub some on her
KissMyAsterix: wait, don't give away my beys
Kman3x3: ]hey bey want to talk
Catpower777: Kman, you faithless cad
Catpower777: you dumped Kiss that easily?
Beysshoes: you mean cyber kman? i already did 5 today. i'm tired.
sorry raincheck?
KissMyAsterix: he knows a good thing when he sees it
Kman3x3: she wasn't talkin

The Chick Magnet Strikes Out:
Kman3x3: so who want to talk to kman
Kman3x3: anybody
Catpower777: Kman, I think you're barking up the wrong chatroom
KissMyAsterix: we can't
KissMyAsterix: we'll fight over you
KissMyAsterix: and no one will win
Kman3x3: why is that
KissMyAsterix: you should save us from ourselves
KissMyAsterix: and well, try another room
Melodramamama22: i hear author's lounge is good for that sort of thing
Chick Magnet Reflections:
Catpower777: Dino hurt him, Bey
Beysshoes: lol he IMd me; dino took him? ty kiss
KissMyAsterix: uh no beys
KissMyAsterix: I closed him
KissMyAsterix: he can't spell what
KissMyAsterix: that's a requirement
Beysshoes: i'm over my quota today, you're so lazy and uncharitable kiss
KissMyAsterix: I am
Beysshoes: oh i see, like me and the toothless. yes, its good
you have standards.
KissMyAsterix: I was already nauseated beys


Svengali?:
Jam7604801: onion you sound jealous
PatientOnionSF: jam, I am only jealous of your charm and wisdom
PatientOnionSF: and your svengali hold you have over book shelf chix

First Question?
quiet scientist: uhhhhhhhh...underwear? :-[
quiet scientist: and to answer the first question i'll have
to say the dartboard

Naked Darts?
Catpower777: ok, sitting there in underwear with a dartboard sounds
more male than "scientist"
Beysshoes: he said he didn't use his undies cat. pay attention pls
quiet scientist: this is just like salem
quiet scientist: weeeeeee
Bgrant444: Salem?
Bgrant444: Are we going to burn a witch?
Beysshoes: cat? are you going over to quiets place?
Catpower777: to play darts in my undies?
BinxB91: Salem? maybe we could just dunk her
Beysshoes: no undies cat
Catpower777: well, I'm not playing darts nekkid
Catpower777: that just sounds dangerous

Niontron Out and About:
Niontron9: I see a chinese lady walking towards me...what do i do
Niontron9: quick
Niontron9: someone tell me quick
Niontron9: the chinese lady approaching
Niontron9: she looks mad
Boulshevit: Run, Nion
PatientOnionSF: she's jewish, they look chinese


Enhance Your Life:
PatientOnionSF: it's gay slang for ****** *************
Beysshoes: ACTDF you mean?
PatientOnionSF: alan wrote a poem about it
PatientOnionSF: *** 2 ******
Boulshevit: ACTDF? Is that an alternate guitar tuning?
Beysshoes: A cock to die for (ACTDF)
Boulshevit: lol jesus
PatientOnionSF: don't be coy bolshevik, you knew what it meant
Boulshevit: Hell, I wouldn't die for my own
PatientOnionSF: you shrekster you
Beysshoes: then i guess you don't got one o' those (ACTDF). so sorry
PatientOnionSF: with your lost beer-encrusted weekends
Beysshoes: not to fret, they have those male enhancements for free now.
PatientOnionSF: enhance your life

Alan's muse:
princessslayah42: i have one incredibly sharp toenail
princessslayah42: i can't stop touching it
PatientOnionSF: sounds like one of alan's poems
Beysshoes: there are better things to not stop touching layah


[They played for another fifteen minutes. On the final play,
after a long steady drive that took the offense down to the
8-yard line, Taft fumbled the hand-off. Defense recovered,
whistles blew, and that was it for the day. The three of us
headed back together.
"Hobbsie laid it right in his gut and he goes and loses it,"
Rector said. "I attribute that kind of error to lack of
concentration. Coloreds can run and leap but they can't
concentrate. A colored is a runner and a leaper. You're making
a big mistake if you ask him to concentrate."
A very heavy girl wearing an orange dress came walking toward
us across a wide lawn. There was a mushroom cloud appliqued
on the front of dress. I recognized the girl; we had classes
together. I let the others walk on ahead and I stood for a
moment watching her walk past me and move into the distance.
I was wearing a smudge of lampblack under each eye to reduce
the sun's glare. I didn't know whether the lampblack was very
effective but I liked the idea of painting myself in a barbaric
manner before going forth to battle in the mud. I wondered if
the fat girl knew I was still watching her. I had a vivid picture
of myself standing there holding my helmet at my side, my left leg
bent slightly, hair all mussed up and lampblack under my eyes. Her
dress was the brightest orange. I thought she must be a little
crazy to wear a dress like that with her figure.]

Unclear on the Concept:
quiet scientist: my friend works at a drug store and the anorexics
steal the laxatives
VioletDeliriums: wow
VioletDeliriums: why dont they just buy them?

"it's like slutty"
VioletDeliriums: i'm a musician...i play stringed instruments
ManiacEyeball: you should not do every genre, it's like slutty

Intellectual:
VioletDeliriums: i like to look at things and think about them

Nostradamus:
HollyGoI23: I knew there would be transformers

Love the One You're With:
Tom Brite: take advantage of being alone and masturbate

Scary Halloween:
DoomGrl: i think i will stay home, halloween was too traumatic last year
erstwhile mots: Doom. Did you become a woman then.
DoomGrl: no, i broke up with my boyfreind, i got angry and broke a
giant mirror and then my dad almost threw me out
DoomGrl: remember?

Why Cur Is Planning a Vacation in China:
BlackHeartedCur: Its probably hard to get a Russian girl drunk

More So When You're Rocking Them With Someone:
Tom Brite: the sounds of rocking springs is so exciting

Warmth:
AmberDevilRay8: I had to get some snacks and a blanket.
AmberDevilRay8: Now I'm all wrapped up. I could use one of those
"slankets" right about now.
AmberDevilRay8: One the bright side, I'm like a toasty cinnamonbun. =)

Rhymin' Simon:
Alansueton: I was "busy"
ManiacEyeball: alan does anyone call you al?
AmberDevilRay8: Would you be my bodyguard?