Exchanging Obscene Phone Calls
with your Brother-In-Law

Advancements in Oral Surgery:

TDNA983: My dentist's wife ran over my brother



Next - Does this font make me look fat?:

Niontron3: is my font color a girly color?
LadyMtnMedic: no, I kinda like it
LadyMtnMedic: (( but then I am green too))
Niontron3: this is "custom made" color
Niontron3: exclusively made by Rono




She didn't mean your e-mail:

LadyMtnMedic: anyone reading anything good?
Catpower777: I started "You Suck" over again



Or Just be Yourself:

PatientOnion3: I am applying at a temp
agency for retard file clerk jobs
PatientOnion3: but they want retards
PatientOnion3: file copy staple, repeat endlessly
Catpower777: Onion, surely you can fake retarded?



Throwing down the gauntlet:

Mg500mv: Who in here doesn't like Nora Roberts?



Taking the Fifth:

Mg500mv: Cyn, were yuo a fan of Emma?
Mg500mv: you
Cyn9652: i enjoyed emma, not you ?
Mg500mv: Cyn, I am too drunk to comment now



Real Sex:

Verneuker: Stein told Hemingway how dyke sex
was better than real sex


Express yourself ... and make money:

JKish78790: cool, cuase i need nice, i am a slow typer
and i slow reader, i am an art teacher who is very illitertae
when it comes to this
Sweet Disorder 2: Kish...an art teacher, interesting.
JKish78790: hey sweet yeah, middle school art teaher
JKish78790: yeah, in public schools, worthtington ohio
JKish78790: it is in the columbus area
Sweet Disorder 2: Kish...what a challenge...but, I'm one
of those people who think you can bring the best out of
what others see as the worst.
JKish78790: i agree sweet, ilove art and i love teaching
because of that exact idea, giving people the outlet to do
their best
Sweet Disorder 2: Kish, I think it is disgusting how the
arts are becoming so unsupported.
Sweet Disorder 2: Kish, there you go. Exactly.
JKish78790: it is a fact of society, no money means no arts
Ta21l: I agree Sweet...they complain that kids are becoming
more out of control and disruptive, but I think it's because the
arts give them an outlet to express themselves and by taking
that from them we give them an excuse to act out
Sweet Disorder 2: Kish...yep, that way the kids can become
computer savey and be exploited.
Sweet Disorder 2: Ta...my feelings exactly. It is sad.
JKish78790: sweet, it's all about the money, it's easier to make
money off of someone whop knows how to work a compiuter than
it is from someonje who knows how to paint or expres themsleves




Rono's & Onion's excellent job search:

Niontron3: PO, as far as I know, home depot pays $12 just for
being a cash register person
PatientOnion3: i want a job where i can sit down,
not stand up

PatientOnion3: I made 29 meatballs, chicken stock,
prepared boneless chicken for stir fry, and made
dinner for two!
BinxB91: ... and you don't want a job where you stand up?
Actnatural07: what was the 29 meatballs for ?
PatientOnion3: in addition to supplying additional food
stamp eligibility documentation and grocery shopping
in chinatown
PatientOnion3: i am too old to stand up
PatientOnion3: standing up is for young bucks like rono
Actnatural07: and why did you stop at 29 ?
PatientOnion3: who are just capable of mindless repetition.
PatientOnion3: i'm 52
PatientOnion3: i was in nam
PatientOnion3: shobkichuh hoe gecheh. hoey. gecheh!
Actnatural07: calm down
PatientOnion3: Nijer monkay chinbay jokhon attoshudhdhi
hobe thokon...ghuri shuto natai jemon ektanete jokhon
thokon
Niontron3: omit the las two words from the first sentenc
PatientOnion3: Bush said he had a great time picking lettuce
Niontron3: then it will make sense
Actnatural07: you're over the top now , hava meatball
BinxB91: Onion is on a roll
PatientOnion3: thank mr. vietnamese language guru
PatientOnion3: Rono, Peel me a grape, crush me some ice,
skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow.


The other crochet is "I Know How to Masturbate":

Phronsie: I get testy with people who want to either
convert me or kill me
Phronsie: It's one of my crochets


What are you wearing?:

InfamousAudey: let's see.. quicksilver board shorts,
black and white plaid I guess.. and an orange t shirt



What were once associates are now clients:

Ragamuffingirl35: ok this one client gets on my nerves
Ragamuffingirl35: she seems to think she checked into the
hilton instead of a shelter
BinxB91: You call them clients?
Ragamuffingirl35: what else would i call them?
Phronsie: that would be irritating, Mel
Niontron3: binx call them lover
BinxB91: Patients??
Ragamuffingirl35: she came down and asked if we had any
neutragena facial scrub she could use
InfamousAudey: Shelterites?
Beysshoes: residents would be best binx
Skydragonangel2: Homeless
Ragamuffingirl35: this is a shelter not a insane aslylum
Phronsie: oh, my!
InfamousAudey: Residents would be good.
BinxB91: Muffin, sounds like a good chance to try out your BookShelf charm
Catpower777: Mel, are most of them there due to domestic violence?'
Skydragonangel2: Women's shelter?
Ragamuffingirl35: i just told her that we don't have anything like that
Ragamuffingirl35: yes, cat
Ragamuffingirl35: we take homeless on a case by case basis
BinxB91: MuffinGirl, ask yourself, "what would PatientOnion say in a case like this?"
Ragamuffingirl35: i don't want to get fired binx
Ragamuffingirl35: i think i have to go to court with someone next week
BinxB91: oh ok, Muffin. I remember, Onion IS unemployed


Who Did Rono Meet?:

Niontron3: I know who bookslut is



Onion's Hobbies:

PatientOnion3: my naked neighbor looks like
bernadette peter's 21 year old daughter
Catpower777: she's still naked, Onion?
Condorblue: patient, are you a peeper?
Beysshoes: i thought you had her arrested onion?
PatientOnion3: she finally bought ikea furniture for
her naked livingroom, and yesterday morning she
pranced naked after her shower
PatientOnion3: first naked prance in a month
Catpower777: Onion, she probably has her own nekkid website
Catpower777: you should check into doing that
Condorblue: nothing wrong with nudity, we came into this world naked
Catpower777: you can work from home
PatientOnion3: one night she had two men over, night
after that she had a hot female
Niontron3: condor, but we got dressed as we got older
PatientOnion3: she goes to work in the morning at 730
Niontron3: except for PO's neighbor
Condorblue: some of us did
PatientOnion3: i think my naked neighbor may be Urban
Condorblue: does one learn to hate their bodies, or is it natural?
Phronsie: Onion, you need another hobby
PatientOnion3: I hate rono's body
Beysshoes: good grief go get some drugs onion...
you be hallucinating again.
Niontron3: one only hates his/her body thinking that
other people might not like it
PatientOnion3: cooking, my naked neighbor, food
stamp acquisition



Comparing Stalkers:

Phronsie: Someone woke me from a sound sleep at 1:18 A.M. this morning
Phronsie: Really pissed me off
DAISYTRAIL: Why, Phronsie?
Phronsie: One of those listen and hang up things
DAISYTRAIL: oh, I hate those
Solsfam: Hi Phronsie
Phronsie: The Caller Id said the number was in m y home town in Mississippi
Phronsie: Can't be many people who even know my number there
DAISYTRAIL: I had an obscene caller once who wouldn't quit calling, so
I forwarded calls to the police dept
Jam7604801: did you call them back phronsie
Phronsie: Jam, I did today.
Phronsie: Got a woman speaking a message
BinxB91: Daisy, I thought you were going to say you married him
DAISYTRAIL: what kind of message?
Phronsie: OH, just an answering machine message. Someone
named Barbara
DAISYTRAIL: I think I'd cal Barbara back. It was probably her
horny teenage son.
Phronsie: I have an awful feeling the caller may be a guy I talked
to earlier this week
DAISYTRAIL: oh no, a stalker!
Phronsie: Oh, sorry. Her name was Elizabeth
Phronsie: The guy had said he had gone with his girl friend Betsy to Iowa
Phronsie: I'm afraid Betsy might be Elizaeth
BinxB91: ...to check out the presidential candidates?
DAISYTRAIL: gosh, your obscene callers actually talk with you about their travels?
DAISYTRAIL: mine just breathe hard



Why don't women make obscene phone calls:

Jam7604801: why don't more women do obscene calls
DAISYTRAIL: Why, do you want one, Jam?
Jam7604801: no i just wondered why
Jam7604801: daisy i got enough problems with women cybering with me
Phronsie: I got obscene phone calls years ago, when I was more
in the public eye
Phronsie: and I had a good voice
DAISYTRAIL: Jam, you have a problem with cybering women?
Most guys would like that, I think.
Prospect26: Jam...my brother in law and I do obscene calls to each other all
the time. We laugh so much we almost wet our pants (well, I did...once).


The It Girl:

TDNA983: I had an idiot drunk friend who realized that
Dena without the e was DNA and I've been stuck with ever since
BinxB91: an idiot drunken friend?? we all have one of those
TDNA983: Oh yeah
History69: Only one?
TDNA983: I'm usually it though


How Rono was named Employee of the Month:

Niontron3: my friends at work get drunk all the time...and
they get send home ALL THE TIME


I don't believe in soul mates:

Weir246: anyone seen 300 yet?
Ta21l: I heard it wasn't a great story, but the movie was done well
TDNA983: i want to see that ot looks good
Ta21l: the graphics that is
Weir246: i love war movies, so yea......
Ta21l: wow...I can barely form a cohearant sentance
....I really am geting old
TDNA983: best war movies yall have seen?
Ta21l: I hate war movies
BinxB91: Ta, no ... you're just tired
Weir246: GLADIATOR!!!!!!!!!! TROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TDNA983: i like apacolypso now and full metal jacket and platoon
BinxB91: Ta, not even one war movie you liked??? MASH?
Ta21l: I don't think Gladiator qualifies as a war movie
...the war ended the first 15 minutes of the movie
TDNA983: Mash is awesome
Weir246: but it was an awesome 15 vmins
TDNA983: russell crowe was hot in that
Ta21l: my favorite line in that movie is in the first 15 minutes
Ta21l: yeah he was!!!!
Weir246: at my signal, unleash hell
Ta21l: YES!!!!!!!!!
BinxB91: Ta and Weir are soul mates
Ta21l: yeah, pity he's half my age
Weir246: i liek older women
Ta21l: I don't believe in soul mates




Rono-Blu Tag Team:

Niontron3: humans belong in jungles...binx belong in a zoo
Niontron3: belongs to the zoo**
Niontron3: humans belong to the jungles
Niontron3: binxie boy belongs to the zoo
BinxB91: Rono, so fun-nee
Bludahlias: Binx belongs on the short yellow bus.


Mahler:

DestryWritesAgin: Whatever happened to Mahler?
Jam7604801: she is mad at me dena
CernutzB: Mahler? I think his time has come....and gone
TDNA983: why
Jam7604801: i can't say in here binx is in here
CernutzB: oh, i see
CernutzB: thought you meant the composer
TDNA983: want me to im you Jam
Jam7604801: sure

DestryWritesAgin: I wonderd about Mahler because I read

that Borders, where she said she worked, is closing a ton

of stores.

The evolution of the Animal Channel:

Niontron3: binx, because our ancestors used
to roam around in jungles
Niontron3: we feel great among animals
Niontron3: they know this
Niontron3: so they create animal videos